Thanks for tuning in to the Real Women Chronicles podcast. I am your international certified life coach, T. Audrey Taylor. The sole purpose of this podcast is to get you from where you are now to where you want to be.
Yes, it's time to break chains and to get unstuck. Thanks again for joining in. Let's begin. Welcome, welcome, welcome to the Real Women Chronicles podcast.
I am your host. I go by the name of Coach T. I am your virtual life and relationship coach. Listen, y'all, as many of you guys know, you are returning, one of my returning listeners.
You guys know that I kind of keep these podcasts short and sweet to the point so that you can be motivated throughout your day and I don't hold you up long. So this week I want to talk off of the topic entitled, maybe it's your type. Now over the course of the last few weeks, I have been addressing internal factors that often prohibit us from really achieving and receiving the things that we want in life. I spoke on getting clear about what you deserve.
I spoke on just really knowing what you want and owning what you want and knowing that you deserve it. And in this process of doing that and doing that internal work amongst yourself, you can't skip over the fact that sometimes the situations that we put ourselves in are the main reasons that we're not getting what we deserve. The people that we choose to associate with, the people that we choose to date are the main reasons that we're still unsure about where we are and what we want because we're picking, constantly picking a certain type of individual. Sometimes we're constantly picking a certain type of friend to associate with that ends up being toxic.
And most of all, you, myself and many of you guys will probably contest the fact that when it comes to dating and getting stuck in a certain type of person that you will date, will sometimes really, really hinder us guys and girls and guys because we get stuck in these comfort zones. And a lot of times we don't talk about the fact that having a certain quote unquote type is a comfort zone. And this year I want each and every one of us really to go after what we know we deserve y'all. I want each and every one of us to be hold heartedly clear about who we are and who's we are and really what matters.
And I think sometimes when we get fixated in these types, these types bring out or better yet these types actually end up suppressing a side of us, a side of us that we haven't quite healed at times. Your type sometimes sheds light on areas in which you're insecure in. So we don't realize that our type really tells us more about ourselves than it does about the actual type. Now for those of you who are not familiar with what I mean by type, let me explain.
Basically your type is the type of person that you find attractive, the type of person that you deem worthy of your time, the type of friends that you choose to hang out around, you know, your type of activities. This is all considered a type. And my point today is to let you know don't allow your type to cause you to continuously not get what you deserve because you're not willing to let go of this type, this type that's really, really taking you in circles. See whenever we get into a relationship and we end up with the same results over and over and over and over again, we have to evaluate our type.
We really, truly do. We must say to ourselves is our type causing us to not get what we want out of love. This is our type of friends we like to associate with not causing us, well, causing us to not have genuine people in our lives. We sometimes genuinely sign up for a type that never produces the outcome that we want.
Yet in the end, we complain that it didn't work out. We complain that this friend crossed us. We complain that this guy did the same thing the last three guys did. But we fail to realize that we've actually willfully signed up for a type that never produces the outcome we want.
We sign up for the type of man that's emotionally unavailable. We sign up for the type of person that doesn't know how to be, you know, attentive about his actions with you and doesn't know how to care for your needs. So you sign up for this over and over again. And this particular type never ever produces the outcome that you want.
Listen, that's like wanting a truck that has wheels that can tower through snowstorms. That constantly buying Honda Civics with bold tires that slides through them. You know what you need. You know in this area, let's say you live in an area where there's nothing but snow storms, you know in that area, you need to have a powerful vehicle with powerful tires.
But you select a Honda Civic with bold tires every time. And then you get mad and afraid once that car starts spinning out of control, it's spinning out of control. And instead of you acknowledging the fact that you have made this conscious decision to get a vehicle that cannot take you where you want to be, it cannot provide the safety that you're looking for. Instead of you acknowledging that you chose that, you're just mad because it's snowed.
You're just mad because, you know, the roads iced up. No, focus on your choice of vehicle. Focus on the choice of vehicle. Don't focus on environmental factors and everything else that you think could be causing it.
No, focus on the decision that you made, the control that you had. You want one thing, but yet you're selecting something that can't give it to you. I can't go to a water fountain and stand there and pray and hope that it turns into juice. Listen to how little sense that makes.
And that's why I like to use analogies sometimes because sometimes all of us need that in life. We all need that breakdown so that we can see how it sometimes doesn't make sense. Maybe you do like a certain look about, you know, your meat. The actual self does.
Does that look matter when you're getting treated like you're less than listen, all of us probably I can admit all of us want, you know, something that's pleasing to the eye, right? Some of us, you know, may want a mate that's successful, right? But here's the thing. Does that even matter if you're if you're looking at this handsome man who doesn't know how to treat you?
If you're looking at this guy who you wanted to be super, super successful, but he has no time to spend with you, no time to really figure out what your needs are and you're just basically in a relationship alone. Does it really matter then? Does his or her, you know, car or status matter when your heart is continuously being broken? We often go for superficial things in a person and we pay attention to what they possess, which is typically why we end up getting hurt.
God never intended for us to focus solely on superficial things like money and his height and his dimples and his status. So it's no wonder why we can sometimes end up hurt. Your point was never to focus on people who can't get you and elevate you and motivate you to being a better you. A man who's emotionally unavailable is something I can assure you.
99.9% of women do not want. But only if you knew the statistics when it comes to women who actually accept these type of men because they have yet to deal with the issues that they have with their emotionally available mother or their emotionally available father. So this has become their comfort zone. So instead of being bold and courageous and jumping outside of your comfort zone, you go where it's comfortable, but guess what?
Where it's comfortable it hurts. Sometimes where it's comfortable, you don't get that like that you've been wanting. Think about that. God wants us to look so much deeper past the superficial things to find the one that has the integrity, the one that knows how to be attentive about your needs, the one who has character loyalty.
Maybe that's not found in your type. Maybe that's not there. Maybe your type is not the type who wants to listen to your goals and your future plans. Maybe he's the type that just really wants you to be quiet, look good and have sex with him.
And maybe that looks good to the people that you may be trying to impress. But deep down inside is that what you need. We all need a mate that feeds our soul so much deeper than the outer appearance of things. And I really, truly believe whenever we look for things that are of the natural world, and I'm saying natural world, instead of the spiritual world, I really believe that we lose.
I really, truly believe that we lose whenever we're looking for things of the natural world. Listen, I 100% am a firm believer that God is not going to present something to you that you are absolutely disgusted with. And there was a book years ago, Forgive Me For Not Know on the title. You probably could Google it.
And the book was entitled Single and Loving It. And it was a Christian based book. And it was talking about just coming to terms with being single. Probably Google it.
I forget the author's name. However, in this book, it talked about us always feeling like if we have to change our type, we have to somehow settle for the one guy that we, I mean, for lack of better words, the one guy who just simply repulses us. And we were like, oh my gosh, if I do this, I got to settle for the guy that I can't stand and he smells, he's dah dah dah dah. That's so far from the truth.
It's just that you have to be open to breaking your type enough so that another type can impress you. Do not think that you're, you step away from your type means that you got to settle for somebody you're not attracted to and you don't want him to touch you or kiss you. God does not work like that. He will bring something in front of you that is pleasing to you, but you have to be open to it.
You'd be so surprised how often we just block our blessings because we're not open to it. I'm speaking from professional and personal opinions and experience. You have to be open to not just one type of person because we are in a world where people are different. They talk different, they act different, they come from different experiences and you just don't know how well somebody who's slightly different from your typical type, slightly different from the way you grew up, slightly different from the way you talk and the way you're used to dating people that look a certain way could really change your life and teach you some things.
It would really be that place, that, in partnership that you've really been looking for. But a lot of us stay single, y'all, because we're so stuck in that type. And until we release that type, we're going to be stuck in the same, same, you know, repetitive cycles. Listen, sometimes what you need, what you, I'm sorry, sometimes what you want may not be what you need.
You need someone who's attentive, you need someone who actually cares, but you settle for the one who's a shoot, the one who has money and stature. But that's not what you need. Now it's time as you're, you know, going through my podcast and you're getting clear about what you deserve. Now it's time to really say, what do I want versus what I need in relationship?
And that goes for people who aren't even single. Sometimes you got to evaluate the relationship that you're in right now and say, am I in this because of things I want or am I really getting the core things I need in relationship? Sometimes we really get trained to want the very things that are bad for us. And that is the purpose of this podcast today, because I want to break that chain for each and every one of us.
I want to break that habit of wanting things that we really don't need in our lives, wanting people that just bring drama, wanting people who can't fill us up mentally and spiritually. We got to start wanting the things that we need. We got to start embracing the things that we need and being open so that God will allow the universe to bless us with the things that really are going to be good for us, y'all. Okay.
So that's all I have for you today on this week's podcast. I really hope it helps somebody out there. If you are in need of life coaching, if you would like to purchase my interactive break up to Breakthrough Journal, if you would like to leave me a comment just saying, Hey girl, or you know, hit me with a suggestion of a podcast topic you'd like me to talk about. If you'd like to be a guest on the show, I know it's been a while since I've had a guest.
I have quite a few lined up. I just have to make the time to coordinate with a lot of the guests that have been asking to be on the show because many of them are not in my time zone. So it's a big ordeal. But either way, still reach out to me.
My website is theRWC podcast.com. All the information you need there is on my website. Okay. As always, let's close out and pray your father.
God, I just thank you for allowing us to come together yet again. Again, another week for the guy. We just all ask that any stronghold in our lives that is prohibiting us from reaching our destiny that is prohibiting us from getting the things that we need and deserve in life, Father God, we pray that you break those chains in the name of Jesus, Father God, help us to see clearly through the eyes that you would want us to see, help us to not be superficial, help us to not be stuck in and comfort zones that won't allow us to grow and won't allow us to experience new things, Father God. God has to do this process because we know that walking out of familiar territory is not always easy, but I understand that it's necessary and give us all the strength to do what's necessary.
In the name of Jesus Christ, I pray. Amen. Listen, thank you guys for joining in until next week. I love y'all.
Bye bye.