How many fingers can you get in your mouth? That's how it's starting to show. I can get five fingers in my mouth if I want. Oh, I feel very deflated all of a sudden.
Come on, mate. Another successful year at Cheapsoe HQ. Better known in the common parlance is The House of Pickles. Hello, this is Cheapsoe in Economy Comedy Podcast.
I'm your host Paul Gannon. And joining me as ever is my good friend Eli Silverman. Hello again, everybody. Welcome to Cheapsoe.
Eli Silverman. Welcome to Cheapsoe. I'm not going on a nozzle. How many fingers can you get in there?
No, no. How many fingers can you get in your mouth? Can I have a nap? No.
You can, but you know what will happen if you have a nap? It's a teeth cramp. It's teeth cramp. It's teeth cramp.
It makes up. It makes up. It wasn't a real thing that that person was told. We're getting a teeth.
It's dark. No, it's dark. Or the tooth cramp. Or the tooth cramp will get you.
It's true. Yeah, but I heard about it somehow. I heard about it somehow. I heard about it.
I heard about it. On a podcast. It must be real. Tooth cramp is not real, but you know what could really happen?
You've been stuck by a tooth crampoline. No, no, no, no. You know what's real, though? Yeah.
Leaky Norman. Leaky Norman. Leaky Ken. Leaky Ken.
Get your characters right. Come on, then. No, come on. There is a Leaky Norman.
Your character's right. It's got confused because his brother's called Norman. And he's also a Leaky family. Yes.
What's his mum's name? She's called Leaky Leaky. You know what? I can see racist material coming based on that name.
Yeah. Because Leaky's like a Chinese name. No, they're not Chinese. What's the name there?
What's Leaky then? It refers to his compulsion. Who's compulsion? Mate, your story's fallen apart.
It refers to the white conditioning. It's a white conditioning. Genetic compulsion in the whole family. Yeah.
To quietly go into people's rooms when they're asleep. And sort of dray flaccidly. It's really... How's the lady do that then?
Do you know what I have to ask me? Yeah. You should try. He just stoops.
Oh, yeah. I don't fucking want to know. Don't. Leaky Ken is real.
And it's really visited you. I can tell you that. It's a cheap show, ladies and gentlemen. Leaky Ken is real.
Leaky Norman is real as well. Mate. They do. They work as a tag team.
Yeah, do they? Yeah. They're great. What are you guys?
I'm a little bit of a parlor. Parlor. It's time for you to be leaky. Then he comes in.
And they pass like strangers in the night. How do they pick their victims? It's you. It's just you.
It's just me. It's just me. Leaky Norman. Pick on me directly.
Makes this to flaccidly. Yeah. But it's about for me. Leaky Ken and Leaky Norman.
So you do. I'm Leaky Ken. So you just... Are you saying I'm Leaky Ken?
Yeah. I'm not Leaky Ken. You are Leaky Ken. I'm not Leaky Ken, mate.
I am. You are. It's like your Batman. It's like by day he's Eli Silverman.
But by night he's Leaky Ken. Look after your four-heads gents. He'll be plopping his flaccid toggid down on it and excreting a weak piss chism. So what we've got coming up on the show today?
We have a lovely lovely lovely lovely trip to your platter. A trip down platter. A trip down the platter. And they're not...
To be honest, this week they are not strictly speaking Silverman's platter. No. But it's the platter section of the show. When we talk about vinyl.
We talk all things vibe. It works. All things. All things.
All things. We talk all things. We talk all things. I talk all things.
I can't do this anymore. You need to lie to whatever again. No, I don't know. I don't know.
Paul, I don't know. Is this you quitting the show? No. He says I'm going over to the raps.
It's giving me something. Oh, by the way, now that we're on the topic, yeah. Have you mentioned this on the show before already? Yes, but we haven't tasted it.
Do you know what? We never will. Okay. I bought this Kenyan style Tudor, Chevder.
It's like a Bombay mixed style thing. Yeah, African Bombay. I checked it and I checked the ingredients. And I couldn't see it, said raisins.
Look at that. It's got fucking swimming with blonde sultanas. That's unacceptable. It's unacceptable.
Unacceptable. Unacceptable. Not wanted. But maybe that's just how they have it though.
It is how they have it. And then wrong about food. Yeah. So we won't be tasting that one, Chev.
Is it a cultural thing? It's a disgustingness thing, Paul. Oh, well. They taste the leaves against frozen roots.
She'll rear its head and defend celery and iceberg lettuce. That it? In your weird niche protection racket. Well, it's not a protection racket.
Well, whatever. It's a protest movement. I'll show you a protest movement. When I take a shit, right on your nose.
No, no, no, no. Yeah. Whoo. The big stink, they call it.
Whoo. I'm running out of insult to you. I can hear. Oh, it's one of our superheroes approaching.
I'm pond stopper. Gag stopper. Pond stopper. Is it?
Gag stopper. Gog stopper. Gog stopper. Incorporated.
Got in touch with me. And so they had to change my name. So you can have to stop your own avatar, Paul Ganon. It's going to be tricky.
Yes. Because I love him. Right. I love Paul.
OK. You love me. I love you. OK.
That's great. Why don't you two kiss? That's kiss. Ooh.
Add a bit more. Oh. Yeah. Bit more.
Stop my pond. Stop. Stop my pond. Stop your pond.
Oh. Paul. Paul. No.
Where's it going? Mouth noises. It's just gone. Mouth noises.
Oh, you do his mouth noises, man. Ooh. Right. Eye off now.
Eye off my pond stopper. Eye. He certainly stopped his pond. Going home to my wife.
All right. He's secretly a hop for you. You need more than one double life. Don't your pond stopper?
It certainly does. You just hit a critical bastard, heartbreaker. It's always the same. Paul, now Paul.
He does this a lot. He flies into my life. He says, don't do that, pun. And then he goes, what pond did you have?
One more little kiss, please. What pond did you do? All right, that's the last type on stopper. I'm kissing on the lips.
And it all gets heated for a moment. It leads me up the guard's path. And he goes, oh, I can hear a pun happening. And he once flies off.
He didn't get heated enough of me. No. No, not at all. We'll do a pun then.
Maybe you'll come back. I don't want him to come back. Do a pun. Do a pun.
I want him to come back. What's that? Chef that. Chef the what?
Chef the puke after eating it. No, not coming back. I find he's gone. He's caught up.
No, chef the puke after. No, chef the puke after. Chef the puke after. No, because you chef.
Because you have to form it. Because of the sultanas. Because you have to. Because you have to.
Not making it work. Sweetheart, squeeze around paper square. All right, that works. No.
No. No. How square? Describe them the whole.
It's around. It's around. Square. What are you doing?
Coming up on the show today. We have. What we got? What we got?
We've got the platter. We've got the platter. We've got a lego snacks and we've got a very serious lego snacks and crisps. And we're going to end with a nut butter challenge.
A nut butter challenge. Nut butter challenge. That sounds like... What is it?
I found it in a shop. Bushtucker. Bushtucker. Bushtucker challenge.
It's called the Bogtucker Challenge. No, Bogtucker Challenge. It's been the wheel to see which bug you will eat. But these are sweet.
I'll explain in more detail later. What else? That's it. We've had...
That's all we do. Poptucker. Pumpstopper. Hotbreaker.
Love maker. Thoughttaker. Right. That's the shot.
Good. Good. Bless you. What's that?
You drink it. It's green. That is tea. Gay fair enough.
You can't break it off. Your court boy. It's Milky Matcha. Like a latte.
I made it. A premade matcha latte. Oh, is that cheap? No.
That is dandy. We've brought it. Don't worry. That's what I tasted it.
Matcha's very sort of his high-ended anyways. It's expensive stuff. like my dad could play a game up for Taunas and tea. I'm not complaining about the tea, I said it was nice.
Well yeah, just have a face with a complainer. Sultanas. Right. What about this?
Ramu bottle grape. It's a grape drink that tastes like Ramenade, Ramu, and I've never been able to. Now Ramu bottle, do you think the translation is marble bottle? I don't know because is that everyone must be familiar with those.
Yeah, little Japanese soft drinks that have a marble in the neck and then you do something with the lid, you pop it down. Yeah, you pop it down the marble drops out. I'm really interested to know what the history of that is. I bet because a lot of these Japanese things that go back years and years and years, you know what I mean.
But this is a Ramu bottle grape, but it's just a normal bottle and they've got a picture of that bottle on this normal bottle. And so they say this is the type of stuff that you put in that bottle of marble, but we're not going to do that. Why are they going to do that? Because it's terrible for the environment probably.
So they have to now just affect it by the iconography on the bottle. Having a picture of it. Yeah. Well, the bottle itself is evil, man.
Is it? So sweet. Yeah. So artificial.
Great. So yes. And I'm watching that cough. Is it expensive?
It's called cheap show. Well, I'm not showing it off. Look at my Ramu bottle. Maybe it's to do with the containers.
Maybe the passengers have jars of balls in so it wouldn't spill if you'd tip it upside down. The marble would roll to the club. Stop and. Well, it's not something.
It's not like that. I'm going to look that up. Well, not now. Oh, not now.
I don't want to do it now. I want to do it now. Can we carry on with the show? I'll just try it.
I'm going to eat your snacks now. That's exciting. I've done that in a while. Let's fucking do that.
Right. Come on. Let's kiss. Let's kiss him.
You've already had a snog. Puns stop. We're not doing his job. No.
And not getting me hard because it was so weak. Lily delivered. Well, right. Let's do stop making noises.
Hello. Yeah, I'm going to stop it. I'm going to link it in the sound effect and then this bit. Good.
It's time for the League of Snacks. And Chris. What have we got? What have we chosen for the, and Chris?
What have we chosen today for League of Snacks? Why did you pick the Reetos? Well, they've been ubiquitous for a number of years. When did they go to Rome?
I'd say the 1990s in Britain. I could do some research. Do some research. Do some fucking research.
The serious part of the show. The League of Snacks and Crisps. Doritos. All right.
Let's find out about Doritos. Yes. Oh, is an American brand of flavoured tortilla chips produced since 1964? Oh, yes.
Yes. Frito-Lay, obviously the huge company. The original Doritos were not flavoured. The first flavour was Taco released in 1967.
The other flavours have since debuted for the company. Doritos originated in a restaurant in Disneyland. Oh, didn't know that. This is actually quite fascinating.
In Disneyland. So they always are sort of pretend. And then nationwide, 66 released in America. They're like a pretend sort of authentic item.
They are like kind of theme parks. When you think about it, it makes sense that that would be it's yeah, it'll be a history. But what I want to know is when they were introduced to the UK for, because I believe that was no earlier than like 1990s. No, you probably right.
But this particular Wikipedia page does not say anything about it. Just merely focuses on the American market. Do you remember them? They came in in the 1980s.
I think it would have been right because it's not, Mexico food was not big in the 80s and it was starting to become a bit more popular in the 90s. They haven't been here since the 60s in this country. No, no, I don't think they have. I think you're right.
I don't think they have. So you have, we're going to taste all three. Talk into the mic. How hard is it though?
Do we have to have another episode where we talk about this? No, let's not have another episode where we talk about it. Yes? Beave yourself.
Well, looking at some crisps. Right then. So anyway, Dorito. So what was the first flame that came out?
It was probably the original original. That's original, isn't it? What's called original flavour? What's it called?
It's cool. What's it taste of? Original. What was it taste of?
It's I always think it's sort of like a ranch sort of flavor, isn't it? No, you think that's it. Let me look for flavours and see what it says. Here we go.
But it's a strange non-flavour, isn't it? Usually if flavour says something like cheese or... Yeah, it's like, yeah, it's called original. That's what I was saying.
It's just new hot. Well, let's have a look. Cool. I've got cheese.
There's cheese in them. I've noticed that's what all cool original flavouring contains milk. It says flavourings contains milk. Ranche.
It's like garlic. Cheese garlic. So it's a herby cheese garlic, isn't it? Made in a factor that also handles wheat, gluten, barley, soy, celery, mustard.
And giant squid. Ahh. Thumbs up or thumb. Oh, the weather outside is frightful.
So sit back, relax and slay. Your Christmas party with this seriously cool snack. You might be right, might be a ranch style thing. But for me, it's always going to be cheesy.
It is cheese. It's a cheese ranch. Well, let's open the bag off this. No, no, we've got free flavours.
Let's say it's a bit of time. Alright, so we start with cool original. Yeah, keep the mystery going. It's a little like if you blow a load.
Oh, we've got a half. I like the half on that. I have to say, I like the half on that. It's almost a tangy.
Tangy, something vinegary. Yes. So they are just, you've seen one. It's already a chip, you've seen them all.
That's what the shape is. Let's have a little taste. It's really hard to describe. It is a sort of vinegaryness to it, isn't it?
Yeah, it really is a vinegaryness. Yeah. Oh, come on, that's a lot going. You okay?
No, I've got an egg. He's still hung over everybody. Shut up. Okay.
Says I went onto the website. What is cool flavor? Says the flavor in the US is called Cool Ranch. Thank you.
It's very warm on digital spikes. So they add a forum. Cool original Doritos. And then someone says don't know.
Sour cream. Yes, there's definitely sour cream. Yeah, there is. The flavor in the US is called Cool Ranch.
What nobody over here knows what ranch is. It comes from one of the most popular salad dressings called Hidden Valley Ranch. It's a very nice dressing. You can also make a ranch dip for Doritos.
There you go. So basically it's kind of a ranch dressing. Oh, God. I think I've got a knife.
Oh, no, no, no. It's a particularly my throat. It's a cough. I had it.
It's not. It's a car. It's a car. It's a car.
It's a little bit of a treat. It's a little bit of a throat. All right. Staying in the podcast is all real.
No, don't keep that in the podcast. It's disgusting. I'm eating on the grid. Oh, God.
Oh, you made me cry. It was so funny. Right. What do you think of the Cool Doritos then?
I've never got an old with the flavor. It's something about it. I just have a plain tortilla chip. So we know it.
I don't like all the flavor because it's also quite a kind of thick flavoring to it. It is and it's almost it's very kind of chemically. It's a chemically flavor. I wonder if I was really hungry.
Just eat a pack. No, that's the thing though. It's like you get stoned or you're drunk and you can't be after cooking. You don't want to.
And then often how it's all gone. But it is ranch because they're called ranch in the States. And that's obviously because ranch has no meaning in our culture, does it? No, it's not a thing that is known about at all.
You know what I mean? I feel like shit. I feel like shit doing this episode. I know Paul.
Sorry Paul. You have to do it though. We don't have to do it. We could just stop.
We could do it some other time. No. We have to carry on. OK.
Now, so we need to rate it in the four categories. And the first category is flavor. Flavor. Oh, I don't know.
I've never really liked that flavor. So, um, is that a 10? Certainly is. I'm going to go for six.
It's all pleasant, but I don't care for it. Now remember, we have to agree on this. I know. That's why I'm saying.
I'm saying. I want to push it up. Yeah. 6.5.
Right, 6.5. I can agree on that. I'm happy with that. That's fine.
It's, you know. Yeah. It's not very good. No, it's not very good.
OK. Next. Texture. Texture.
Oh, it's got nice texture. Texture. Oh, it's quite thin. Oh, no.
But still quite corny. Yeah. And there's still a lot of crunch to them and bite. So, textures.
It's going to be very good. 8. Yeah. 8.
It's a, you can't really go wrong with a. So, I can't, with a corny. Not really. You can.
You can't. They can't. They can't. They're going to stay up.
But these don't. I think that's one thing they try and get. They want to crunch. And they've worked on that statistics.
And they've done it. They've achieved crunch. So, they're giving 8 for texture. Yeah.
Huge bit bad. That's good value for money. But on average, they tend to be about 80p for small bags. They're the same.
They're the same as an equivalent bag of potato. Yeah. And if you're in that mood, it's probably a bit more value for money for a burrito bag than a waltz. You think they're heavier?
Why? They're heavier. And heavier. And you probably get less in, but it's more kind of a.
It feels more like food for some reason than a potato chip. Yeah. It's a bit more legit when it comes to corn-based snacks. These have got like, fake snow on them.
I don't think we need to take that into consideration. I just think. But the walls with bows of holly is crossed out. And Doritos instead.
Yeah. You wouldn't want to deck your halls with Doritos. No. It'd be a nip.
Unless you're very poor this Christmas. It'd be very cheesy. Oh, Mummy. Why does the whole smell of cheese?
Because we've used Doritos. Mummy. Why are you the prostitute from the old other episode? Because Paul can only do a few voices.
Is that? And Mummy. Why are there crisps not Paul and the ceiling? I've got an answer for that.
Why have you deck the halls with Doritos? What's the other one, Sam? The port. All I want for Christmas is you.
You is crossed out. Yeah. And it says Doritos. Doritos.
Oh. Why do you being that lonely? You have a Doritos Christmas? Oh, no.
What Christmas is the real? Oh, just sit in my room, eat a bag and another bag. And then another bag. And then another bag.
And then another bag. And then another bag. And then have a sleep. And then another bag.
And then another bag. We've reached 11 of mediocrity now on this. And then another bag. And another bag.
Oh, right. Vlog for Mummy. What are we going to rate it then? Out of that.
We need to come up with a number. Value for Mummy. I think it's high. I'm going to go for a 7.5 pushing that out there.
Yeah. No, 7.5. I'll go with it. It's a little bit costly still.
Especially if you compare it to, say, a space invader snack or whatever they call them. Because, you know, get a nice little bit of snack there for your money with a space vader. What are they called? Space invader.
How are they called about the snacks? Yeah. Space raiders. Space raiders.
Thank you. Yeah. Then we covered those. Yeah, we covered them.
We're bif-o. Oh, yes. Now moving on to the most controversial of the categories. Well, we stand by it.
We stand by this. Yeah. I stand by it. I stand by you.
Oh, please. Yes, they're here by you. Please don't sing that. We really, really hear you.
La Stauger, everybody. So now, La Stauger, what do you reckon? Watching La Stauger associated with Doritos. To me, Doritos reminds me of that mid-90s extreme.
Whoa, dude. Oh, radical. They've got a very 90s feel. The brand still, don't they?
Even though there are 60s snack, I can bowl off. For me, they are the 90s cool, rad, extreme snack. And the lettering that they use is totally like that as well, hasn't it? It hasn't changed.
It's got a very 90s feel to it. Yeah. It's a fonts and the design. It's got a big extreme heat.
Sort of. It's triangle. Shout. But it is way.
It means less to me as a snack that a monster monster would from the same. Oh, totally. Because this is an American snack primarily, enter the UK. It came into my life, at least 10 years later than once.
Yeah. At least. It was the cool trendy kid on the block who wanted to be cool and didn't like you. It was, though.
That's not gives it an astounding thing. Because Paul, when we were talking about, oh, there's corn. There's corn-based made snacks. That's just a space of made.
Oh, believe it. There's crisps. Yeah. There's golden wonder.
Salt and shake. Yeah. There's swear crisps. There's discos.