Ep. 11: My Attempt to Buy Belonging from the Cool Girls of Online Business

In the early days of my business, I started following anyone I could find who would tell me they had answers to the questions I was struggling with. How to grow an audience, how to create content that got more than crickets, how to get clients, how to make more money, how to take myself and my business seriously.  And quickly, thanks to Instagram's algorithm and retargeted ads, I found a myriad of people whose lives looked amazing, and who promised so many answers and results through their courses, programs and communities. But then something quite sticky happened... not only did this women seem to have the answers I wanted, but they also seemed very, very cool.  At the same time, I was feeling more isolated than ever before. I was working from home, didn't have the same connection to coworkers, and spending a lot less time around other humans. I was lonely, my friends and family didn't really understand or even believe in what I was trying to build, and the need for connection was getting bigger and bigger.  Slowly but surely, I started trying to meet my need for community through the online business world. It was no longer just my hope for financial security and freedom, now it was my hope for community, connection, belonging. And inside of that, my inner adolescent came out, and all her desperation to be cool came right to the forefront of my decision making.  I saw these women whose Instagram's showed that they had it all: luxury, freedom, beauty, popularity. Meaningful work, and people paying attention to them. Confidence in their message. Words and posts and programs that seemed to make a difference - at least according to the glowing testimonials on their sales pages. And they were cool, celebrated, popular. I wanted it, and for the price of an $1,111 course or $444 session, it felt like it was for sale.  So many of us start businesses with one intention, but subconsciously start wanting our businesses to fill other needs. The need for community, creative expression and the validation of being seen as ourselves. It's a lot of pressure to put on our businesses, and slips us sneakily into a web of capitalist problems, where the next solution to our need is only one BUY NOW button away.  This episode touches on my experience of trying to buy my way to belonging, and discovering the ways that my business was never really meant to meet some of my needs.