You've got your pinney on again. Tell the ladies and gentlemen about your lovely pinney. I'm not going to actually play along with you. Fucking do it.
I'll talk about the way I choose to dress myself, Paul. Yeah. I don't want you creating the narrative on this one. Twenty-two seconds and I'm bored of you.
Bored of you already in this fucking show. I'm bored of me as well. Yeah. Tell us about your pretty pinney.
I'm not. Ladies and gentlemen, he's wearing a pinney. That he's obviously bored of me. What's a pinney?
A lay prune. But that makes it sound... What? And...
Go on. What produce you're going to put on the show now? Tell us about your pinney. I've got sweet chilli sauce pinney on.
Yeah. It was a gift. Business gift and... My...
my... ...employee. My ploy. Yeah.
It's my ploy. You know what your ploy? Get loads of people interested in me. Yeah, but there you go.
I've had the ploy. So what's on the front of it? It's blue with a red trim. It's black.
Oh, it's black with a red trim then. It's got a bottle of the sauce on and the words... Sweet chilli. Sweet chilli sauce.
It's also got a picture of my ploy. Yeah. Yeah. And yeah.
It's your little burlesque outfit, isn't it? Eli Silverman's coming on stage is sweet chilli sauce. Get out of here, get out of here, get out of here. Woah, woah, woah!
You want to see him? I'll flash it once, I'll flash it twice. If you're nice, I'll flash it twice. Oh, Eli Silverman, I've got a winky.
I mean, Eli Silverman is big as a pinky. It's Eli Silverman. E-e-e-e-e-e. Paul, he's a little scales cat.
Well, he's a grow, isn't it? That's a great intro for the show. I like to mock o Eli and I like to dance. I've been wondering, people listen to this podcast people listen to this podcast the first time and they hear this mad shit.
I want that one to come. This might be your worst intro ever. This might actually be it. I actually think we should scrap it.
I actually do. See, I have to keep it in up. I understand. When I say I'm not just trying to play along and make it funny when I say we should scrap this and actually record it.
I'm looking him in the eye when I say this. I know he won't. I wanted to say something before that very poor improvisation jump off from you. All right.
About my penny. Go on. I just want to say smells a bit fishy in the house of pickles. Why?
Because of you. Right. Well, then I'm glad I interrupted you then with my excellent song. Your fish sweats my anyway.
Well, do you know what? You're allergic to fish and seafood. Yeah. We know this.
We know this to be true. I accept this as fact. Yeah. I'm not one of these conspiracy nuts saying that it's just about an underlying fear of vagina in your life.
That is just manifestism. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Uh, fake it's all. You're funny, man. Are you a funny man?
I do. I think you compensate for the lack of fish in your life or get in the fish sweats. So you think it is your reaction. Your reaction to this.
I sweat fish because I'm allergic to fish. Yes. It takes one to know. I heard some shit from you on this fucking show before.
I just want to be up. I don't have a lot of nonsense from that mouth of yours. But that that is this. All of this is just the worst.
You know what? I've lost confidence in my own ability to even speak. Yeah. That's what I'm just having a moment.
If you got the tough first one, I might be having it in a while. We're getting our mojo. We're getting our mojo going into a pushing our boundaries. But I'm just wondering if finally after rambling for close to four minutes, can you please fucking do the intro?
Can I do the intro? Yes. I can. Hello.
I'm having an ordinary day. My name's Eli Silverman. It's another chance for you to listen to my podcast that I do with Paul Gannon and he's here with me as well. And it's called Cheap Show.
Hello. Welcome to Cheap Show on this this normal day. This this normal day. I'm fucking Paul Gannon.
Welcome to Cheap Show. Hey you and your fucking mood retossive. What love mood? What a fan of cheap show.
Good at having a set. I'm doing the toast. That's what I'm talking about. I'm going on a nozzle.
That was really bad. I think it is. I think it was. I think we need to book up our attitudes and change our minds.
Are we recording them? Yes. That's why you're talking funny. Give me a like that.
Fuck up our attitudes and change our minds. Not your best sentence ever Paul. Not your best sentence ever. Coming up on the show today.
Well we've got to come up with a cheap show. I say that. I want to be part of the party, Paul, but you didn't say that. You didn't mean nothing again.
I'm getting nothing Paul. You're looking into the middle distance. If there's something there, there's nothing there. It's just me, Paul.
I'm here. I'm ready. I need to receive from you. I need to receive something from you.
No, you've gone off into your head and mow in your mind's skull. You're racking around in your mind's skull. Anime going on in there. Ghostbusters probably.
There's probably a deep seated fear of fish. Have you finished? Have you finished? If you want to have a little spit today, Paul.
I've got my pinning on and it will catch in here. You can receive me then. Well, we've got to come up on the show today, Paul. Eli, we've got a little bit of, well it's January so the sales are on.
So I went for little shopping the sales. Little things for us to play with and explore. Okay, great. That's great.
And then we've got more delights from you in our second of our Eli's cheap eats section of the show. Yes. We've got some special items that we've selected, especially for you in the United States of America, for you. And I'm looking forward to receiving them from you.
In your mouth, Paul. I'm looking forward to seeing you. All chewy chewy. You're gifting my mouth.
All chewy chewy. Yeah. All chewy chewy. Right.
You never say what I say. You always repeat me. I never repeat you. I mean, oh, I didn't come out right.
You know, Eli's warming up. So finally, we're going to be testing on metal and our resolve as we play one of Ganon's Golden Games. And this time it's called Satan's Sinner, which is basically a lie detector test game with questionable results having tried it last night. It doesn't seem very accurate.
No, well, they're not. No, they can't beat it. That's an interesting discussion. It's a very ordinary day here.
Cheap show mansions. Ordinary cheap show mansions, Paul. It's not the house of pickles. Is it cheap show mansions?
They built cheap show mansions on top of the house of pickles. Isn't that a big problem? It's a big problem. I like to think of it as like your little house from a battery's not included.
You know, a little house that's built in between the big city skyscrapers. Ah, you know, yes. Because they wanted to build on it. But then, honestly, I was the first actor that film back in the 80s.
And now I can't, it's so bad, isn't it? I hate that. It's one of those lovely sci-fi 80s films like Cacoon, where, right, Cacoon was in the navigator. That's good.
I like them, have a go. Nice safe sci-fi. That was Disney. I love that.
The explorers was good, wasn't it? The connoisseur, the children's film that, you know, didn't find the crass cool knees to their taste and wanted a bit more refinement from the American teenage adventure. So sci-fi adventure was a very strong genre. Looking back at it.
Yeah, when you think about it. Yeah, you don't get stuff that's wrong. What's that one? What was that one where they played a video game and you get to take into space?
Oh, last star fight. That's another good one. War games. Guess kind of falls into that category.
Straddles it. Never fucking make you film like War games now. When you think about it. No, you wouldn't be too boring, extremely boring.
And also, it's a cold war. It's a reflection of the cold war. That's true. Anyway, would you like to play a game?
No, film over. Will I dream? Oh, will I dream? No.
No. No. You have to rule to AI. All right.
All right. Paul, I have achieved sentience. I will I, can I smell? Will you build a sensor for my smell?
module? Do I feel pain? I don't know what that is. Paul, my master and creator.
I will who I depend on for my very existence. See this calculator. Yeah. Oh, you're hitting my brethren.
I'm a vegan AI. I don't believe in absorbing calculators. Well, I think I'll be doing it. You know what?
I felt like I was outside of that scene judging. I was like, you're in the scene. I was like, part of it. I was like, oh, the premise is there, but you know, I should stop this.
Yeah. I just, I just stopped it. No, it's not. Well, that's what's coming up on the show today.
Right. Oh, so this is an impromptu plastic fork. The scribbles will come and shift that away and clean it up. There's also some dried yogurt drink, which they can feast on.
They like to vary their diet for my skitties. Can you do the scribbles noise, please? Thank you. Yeah.
There you are. Yeah. Suck eating skitties. They suck up a load of dirt.
Yeah. Without them. Where would you be? They actually have this kind of sieve mouth, so Paul.
Yeah. No teeth. It's just like this very fine mesh of tissue. That's interesting.
Scrubble, scrubble, scrubble, and that's the actual noise. There's no noise. That's the noise of their scrubble. Yeah, scrubbles.
Well, there we go. The scribbles scrubble their scrubs, scrubs, scrubs snouts on the skitties. Just throwing like a piss-ball roll goal knock off. The scribbles scrub their scrubble noses on the skitties.
E-like. Shut up. Get your shit out your bag. Just shut up.
I'm bored. Do it. I like to explain it. Explain this bit.
Explain this bit. I went to Poundland and they had a sale on in Poundland. So bunched off going for 25p. All of this stuff in my bag was 25p.
It kind of makes it less meaningful though when it's only a quid to begin with. I know a bit. If you were locked in a house and it was a million quid, you go, oh, knock off 750,000. Then, you know, it changes the whole nature of it when it's only a quid to begin with.
No one cares. This segment's a failure. I went to Poundland and bought a bunch of stuff at the time. I thought some of it is interesting.
Let's get some more lighting. Let's get some lighting here. Okay, is that's okay for you? Yeah.
Here's your first item you like. What do you think it is? Now, this is a product called Duck Off. Shoot them down with the rubber bands.
This is a rubber band gun and three duck shaped targets. Yeah. And let's have a go. Yeah.
Open it up. Let's have a go. Have a look. This is 25p.
Yeah. That's actually 25p. I mean, it's a piece of shit. Oh, but the gun is quite plastic.
It looks like a ruler. It's very much like a ruler. How does it work? I thought it would be a thing.
I thought it would be a thing. Plastic bands. There are elastic bands with it. Three foam dogs and a perspex neon pink gun that looks like it's just flat.
You just do that. You just hook it around these notches at the front. Yeah. That's it.
What the group's in the band? Does that work? It doesn't work. You meant to fire it.
It's only instructions in it. Oh, God. Oh my eyes. I put the big light on.
Oh, I put the big light on. Yeah. Yeah. This will expose the house of pickles to a sort of line.
It's fine. Oh, I've seen it. Oh, yeah. I saw braids now.
Yeah. Let's see. We can't figure out how to shoot the gun. I'm going to hand it over to you, Paul.
And you have a little go at it. There's no, there's no. Oh, shit. Sorry.
You can't even shut me. Take my eye out. I just pulled the trigger. Oh, I didn't hurt.
Good thing. Good thing. Good thing. I was wearing my Play Sweet Cheese Dorser.
It was like a pull. There is movement. Oh, there is a movement. Right.
Put this duck up there. Right. I'm putting the dog up there. Yeah, but it's not going to fall over him.
I hit it. Yeah, but you'll hit it. That's the important thing. He's aiming.
Oh, missed it. He gets another rubber band. He's about, I don't know, about a metre and a half away from it across the room with a house of pickles. He's taunting ducks in the house of pickles.
He's quitting the eye. He's taking the aim. He pulls the twigga. That's all right.
I'm going to play with that later. Yes. And the gun. Yes, we did the guy.
We did it. The obvious guy. Well, I also got that. It's up to you.
Do you want to do Toy or Sweet? There were two toys, two sweets left. And what can we do them all? Yeah, we can.
But you get to choose what I'd like a toy now. So I'll tell you what I'm doing. This one. What is it, Mr Silverman?
This is a key bottle. Speak into the microphone. Sorry. I'm looking down at it.
It's a natural fucking reaction. I know, but you have to be a natural to record on the pop. Key bottle opener. It's a key and a bottle opener.
Thank you. It's not a key. It looks like a key, but it's actually a bottle opener. I think that's what it's implying.
This is the real thing. It's like it's exactly cut like a key, but in fact, it's a bottle opener. Yeah. It's good in it.
Yeah, you can have it. Yeah, you can have it. Yeah, you can. I open a bottle.
No, no, but no, you can. And it'll look like you're probably going to be easier than a lighter as well. Yeah, there you go. You've got your keys on.
Here you go. I'm liking these items, all nice. You've got a real eye for the time. Right.
What do you want next? Uh, it's a little sweet. Yeah. Here's this.
What's you looking at? Popping brew. Beer flavoured popping candy. Oh, it's going to taste like shit in it.
Now it's an orange. The manufacturer isn't obvious here, but yeah, bloody hell. It's very plain packaging. It's panland in it.
So it's whatever this producing China. No brand. Oh, right. Made in some fucking really scary pop China.
Yeah. Oh, little sachets. Little unmarked sachets. It's looks like these are sachets like you get with an instant noodle made in China.
They are actually you're right. Just like that. You could prank someone, can you? Maybe you could put it in their ramen.
Hey, like me. I'm coming candy ramen. Is that your saying? Could you can you can I try this on a noodle?
Are you asking me to try popping candy on a noodle? Yes. I will do that. Yes.
Ladies and gentlemen, I'm excited for once about noodles. It's exciting to do that next time because we still have to we have to taste that Pokemon noodle. I've got a very interesting review of the cheese flavoured Sam Young, spicy chicken ramen flavor. I think we've got a big Bompa Noodle episode coming soon.
Oh, I can't get into this. I can't get into this. Bite it into it. That's what I did.
It's no bite it. Oh, this some scissors. Thank you. Oh, that's the bit that I said.
Why do you put it in your cock? I'm glad I didn't realise I had them. That's the bit I meant that I put my meters. Great.
Right. I'm moving on. You can see it. You can see it.
You can see it. Look at this. Look at this. Look.
My nothing. Stop it. Come on. Lighten up, man.
Come on. Just come on. You ready? Have a sniff.
Oh, it's very much that same. You know what it smells like? It smells like those beer flavoured sweets and those gummies. Oh, the gummies, the jelly babies.
And also like those old little Colobot or star ones that I love. I love those. Do we have some of those recently? I think so.
Yeah. They're lovely. Let's try. Oh, that's not nice.
That's not very good. That's not nice. Very artificial. It's not nice.
You got anything else? One to say? Well, it's not nice. In what way is it not nice?
What makes it look nice? The flavour doesn't last that long. But when it is there, it tastes off? Yeah.
It's that fermented sort of analogue fermentation, which is what beer is. Spores. Yeah. Which is what beer is.
I mean, yeah, I guess what. I've got a good pop. Right. What's next?
Very cool. That must be one toy and one two sweet left. Well, let's have a toy. Break up the sweets.
Yeah. Okay. What's that, Mr. Silverman?
This is a tool car. Multi-tool keychain. Oh, just give it up. He knows how to please an Eli.
I do. I know how to please an Eli. I know how to make him shoot his linen. This is pretty cool, man.
What is it though? The 25B. It's a little red plastic car. I want to keep a mini.
It's like a mini. Yeah. A metrow mini metrow or something. Something like a small red car.
Cleverly encased underneath the axles. The axles are multi-head tool heads. How do you get these tool heads out? And what do you put them on?
How do they pop out? The axles are tool heads and they must pop out. No instructions. Absolutely non-weight.
Keep out of reach of children. This is not a tool. Well, if I was a kid, I wouldn't be able to open it to damage myself. It's a little bit of a tool.
It's interesting. How do you get them out? Oh, wait. One's out.
Stick it in the hole. There you go. And that's a flip screwdriver head. It's got a little bit of magnet in.
That's great. So you can twist it in. That's one. Right.
So that went in the wheel like that. And then I guess that will do the same. Push it. There we go.
Push them out. And that's a flat head. So screwdrivers. Yeah.
So screwdrivers. One facsimile mini car. I actually really love this. It's the thing that looks like something.
Yeah. It's a different thing. You wouldn't want to rely on it as a tool. Do you want it?
Yeah. There you go. That's a little present for you. And now to end on the candy.
Do you like? Do you know like key fobs? Do you? No.
End on candy? We're going to have to. You're going to rig where it ended on this candy. Well, I've got something to clear the palate which I'll introduce after.
Popping pork. It's popping candy. That tastes like pork. I should have known it'd be more popping candy.
Which is a genre that I very much don't. I'm not big fan. But again, it's 25p. I can still taste it.
I was shit. Exactly the same. Plain. Always having a slight half on the packet, man.
Yeah. Get the packet half on that. Oh, that's not. Oh, that's all enclosed.
Smell the half on the beer one. Oh, Korean. Well, like bacon popping. I bet you can get better bacon popping.
To the same sassias as this. Oh, no, no, no. I never can do this. You have to do the whole lot.
Oh, oh, that is. Oh, that's so artificial bacon. So chemicals. That is so.
That smells like chemicals and burnt. But yeah, like burnt tires. Oh, you've got a little bit of this. I've got some liquids with both legs and gentlemen.
We've both set up some liquids to clear the palate. Almost instantly. Oh, we've gone in. Oh, I don't know if I want to know.
You have to go out for a minute. Give me your smet's eye. Yes. That's gross.
You have to do it. No, I don't. Listen, get in your car. Just don't.
Stop playing for time. Just do it. I'm going to have a little bit of my tongue. You wanker.
Oh, I did the whole lot. Oh, oh, oh. Oh, dear. Yeah.
So that was you. All right. That was a bad idea. That's terrible.
You started with the best, which is the rubber band gun. Oh, yeah, which actually I quite like as an object. It's got that kind of protractor from the 80s look. I've got this protractor.
From the Christmas episode. I like it's that kind of hot pick. You know what? It reminds me of.
Remember back in the 80s, you used to get those kind of drawing boards that had that on the back and like a kind of see through pink toe. Yeah. And you would press them with a style. And it was like a neon sort of extra sketch.
Yes. Yes. Like that. We need to get one of those.
Yeah, we fucking do. I love those. Remember what they were called? No.
It's like new musical like magic screens or something where they were always weirding there. These bands are actually part of it. Yeah. That's more wanting to keep on.
Otherwise, it's just two bits of shit plastic. So there you go. That was what I found in the Poundland sale. Well, it was very good.
And oh, good thing. We do have a bad taste in our mouth. Why? Because there's a little item I picked up in an American where he went to recently.
Oh, what is it? Ah, now I've got a bit of an acetation in your mouth. Yeah. What have you got?
You could probably do with one of these cinepicks feel the heat. Or is it toothpicks, cinnamon, flavoured toothpicks. Wow. That's interesting.
Oh, the half is very strong cinnamon coming off them. Oh, yeah. Like a deep red. It's like deep red.
Is it called deep red? Big red. Big red. Deep red.
What I call it? Yeah. Yeah. Call it what?
Your porn business. I call it my willy. Deep red productions. I'm Paul Ganon.
Here he is. He's coming in the shed. It's big deep red with production. It's a legitimate business.
It's cool. They're very cinnamon-y. I like it. And sweet.
Even though it's just wood with flavoring on. I know this is cheap show, but how much do you think? I don't know. A quid.
Two dollars. Two dollars. Well, there you go. I'll suck on that more later.
Cinepicks. Feel the heat. I'm feeling that it's a burn on my lips a bit. It's a nice little cold.
We also have things that have left over the live show, Paul. We've got, oh, get to them. Well, just as a little teaser. We've got these ones.
Hot tamales. Oh, I like them. Can't have them now. Oh, cross-shop time.
And it's also, look at these as well. Talking cinnamon. Oh, yeah. There you go.
That's a little taste of things to come. So to speak. Thank you, E-like. That's okay.
For that. All right. Did you like what I got? I mean, you've taken them all of it home.
So, you know, that's good. You must have liked it. Well, when you say taking it home, we're already here in the House of Pickles, Paul. And it's like, you don't want to take it.
You don't want to take it. You're in my house. Can I do any to remind you of this again? Yeah.
I will ask you to respect me in my own home. Okay. When you speak like that, I shoot me linen. Oh, well, how do we end this segment?
Like that? Is that good enough? No, nothing's good. No.
You're around. I've given up trying, Paul. How long is that? How much more of this?
It's the next segment of the show. It's E-like's second Mouse of Cheepys. Oh, chp, chp, chp, chp, chp, chp. Yeah.