You put your cut down on the table with a very, very, very nice, but prone to twanging micsdams we now have. Listen, I didn't want to talk about the micsdams. I've said they're nice, said they're off there. I get boring Paul in, boring techie Paul.
We've got new micsdams. It's a very exciting time for Cheep Show. We now don't have to hover over a sack of books with a microphone on the top to record the show. No, I'm free floating.
Yes. It's hot in here. Yes, take our clothes off. Come on, let's take off all our clothes.
It's getting hot in here. Oh, it's getting so hot. I want to take my clothes off. Right, under the intro.
Yes. I want to take off all the cheap show, the economy, comedy podcast for your ears where me and Eli every week goes to the bargain bins, the charity shops and the table's bargain bins, do we? We go to bargain bins. Yeah, I'll meet you at the bargain bins.
Yeah, it's a nice club. There are no bargain bins and come to that bargain bin, the most exclusive club in the world. Yeah, that's good. Yeah.
What should we serve there? Hold that thought. Welcome to Cheep Show. Hey, you and your fucking mover at Pussy.
People love mover, right? It's a fact that Cheep Show couldn't have a bad present. Oh, yeah. I'm doing all the time.
Here's some social. Nice. Nice, nice. OK, listen to the captain saying hello.
Eli's still. Welcome to Cheep Show. Here, OK, we'll know. We'll know, we'll know.
We'll know. Ooh. So, yeah, bargain bin, the club. Yeah, right.
How is this work? You get cocktails, there's one called a bin juice. Yeah, so it's kind of brownie liquid. Brown smells a veg.
Yeah, but is it really alcoholic? Fairy. All right. Okay.
Well, what's one called bin juice? There's one called Scrapins. Oh, we had a drip tray. A drip tray is a really nice mix.
Come to know Martini Glass. literally the drip right here with Nolle. It's a bit pricey. All right, well then, a color bottle.
Oh yeah, a little Haribo color bottle on it. Yeah, right. Other color bottles are available. Okay, there are a lot of Haribo the best.
So it's the content of a drip tray with a color bottle in it. Excellent, I like it. Okay, we've got that, we've got that now. Decor, you come into the clip.
Black bin bags. No, old VHSes. No, old VHS tapes. I would say it has to look like a kind of really fake, unpleasant, like halogen lampy kind of supermarket feel.
It's got to feel like, shouldn't you have the walls as if it were an actual bargain bin? So it's sort of a mesh, a mesh of metal, you know, because that's what a bargain bin is. It's not the bargain bins are they? No, no, they're not spirits, they're usually baskets.
They're bargain baskets, aren't they? Usually it's some kind of basket on legs. You know what I'm getting at. Like a cage, cage style basket on legs.
Yeah. Yeah. Well, I'm just saying. Yeah, no.
I could have a cat you could have a cat you could have be in the bargain basket. Or a tumble. Or an oil, not in the table. What?
Ooh, tell. It's a club. Right, I forgot about a club park. So, all right, that's the fire.
Welcome to the bargain bin. Get fucked up and get fucked. That's sex and get fucked up. With the bargain bin.
Yeah. That's what I thought. And it's a club's before. Oh, yeah.
Oh, she had a discount on. Was it a bargain bucket? Was it a bargain bucket? Get my meaning.
Was it a bargain bucket or more of a thimble? Everything came down mate. I can't believe I said that. It's really bad.
Anyway, entertainment is at the bargain bin. What do we have? What shows? What acts do we have a comedy night?
We get all the worst comedians on? The cheapest comedians. Cheaper is not necessarily the worst. No, just whatever it does it for free.
Yeah. Yeah. Which are the worst. Yeah.
Everyone has to start out doing the open mic though. What else? What else? What kind of music?
Grungy grime. Grungy grime. And I dogs. They're a dog.
Do you remember? Oh, he is so filthy. He had his own program on early public access TV. He's a dog.
Oh, and he had to stop. Oh, he is so filthy. He's a dog. Oh, he is so filthy.
You don't remember that. I really don't remember anything called filthy. It's like in your head. Were you just staring at a couple of fox?
Oh, I remember that. I really don't remember anything called filthy. Your voice of me is now gone. Yeah, but this is baby you.
Oh, yeah. Oh, I'm eloshing. I'm imagining a show called Filthy Dog. I'm trying for baby.
I'm trying for baby. I'm trying for baby. Bye bye. Bye bye.
Bye bye. Right. Good. All right.
Adjusting is no toy. New recording equipment. Very exciting. It's like being at radio, Capitol radio or something.
It's radio pickles going live in three, two. Ah ha. Pickles. I do not like this radio station.
Hey, Paul. What do you want to say? Shut up. Pickles.
I'm doing it. Oh, what's on? Time for the news. Are you fucking all right?
I'm not actually all right. I'm not quite right. I'm not all right. You're not so poor.
Yeah. What we got coming up on the show today? Well, in the show today, why not draw for the inbox and have a look at some readers letters. We're going to go doing that.
Tell us on the shop floor. Yeah. Just letters. It's our cheap show mail bag for one of the better phrase.
What else? I'm going to play a board game with Ganon's Golden Games. We're going to go back to the late 1800s and we should be solving a murder in 221. It's very exciting.
We're looking forward to that. And that's coming up on the show today. Two to be or not to be. No, because it'd be 221.
Two to one be or not. Two to one be. So that is the question. My dear Sherlock Holmes.
What's in? Oh, that was better than the recent Holmes on what to movie. Oh, what's that? Take a look.
I put my hand. I'm copying my hand as if it was a paltis nappy on my nutset and it's making this noise everybody. Oh, it's exciting. I can't wait to get into it later in the show.
So are you ready? I'm ready. I think I am ready. Then let's crack on.
Are you ladies and gentlemen ready? Oh, yeah. I can't hear you. I mean, literally because you're listening to this later.
I literally can't hear them. Hello. I've ruined this bit. Yeah.
What was that? Stop. Right. This read is letter time.
It was a jingle. It's just letters time. The part of the show where we read out whatever mad thoughts you put down an email and send our way. Ooh.
Play this one and then pull. Let's get tucked in. Let's get tucked in. It's a lot of stuff.
It's stuck in. Sorry. I'm going to go to the end. I am deeply.
Why? Just everything. Do you know what you've done wrong? Yeah.
Tell Uncle Grumble. No, no. Uncle Grumble. Grumble.
Whatever. Yeah. He's a fucking scat man. He's the scat man.
Be back. Be back. Be back. Be back.
Be back. Be back. Be back. Be back.
Be back. Be back. I've got scat jam. I've got scat jam.
I've got scat jam. I've got scat jam. I've got scat jam. It's only of course I've got scat jam.
I've got scat jam. The bad guy's dead. Put it down your lobes! That's fine.
I can do his voice. He's not using it. Next question. Is it code.
Ask Silverman. It's an email. All right. Search Stuart.
There's an email. Today's episode. Focus. Right.
Tim close to death. As if I am dying. It's causing a bad thing. If someone ever wants to make things settle.
self, you know, and ending as you say, beginning to another time, an emotion dying, maybe a part of childhood being lost when some can't direct a reboot part of my childhood. Oh, don't like it. It's not good. Totally made up thing.
That was a totally made up thing. It's totally made up. There you go. That is he shirt.
I totally made up thing. I totally made up thing. As it re-baked with into a totally made up thing. Yeah, it's all been made up.
We're made up. We're made up. We're not real. We are the thought of one person in the universe.
God's thought. Not God. Who then? Someone.
Someone. Someone. This special magic child somewhere out there. This is the cheap show child.
The cheap show child. Does it float around? I shall say cheap show out until they only advance. What's around him?
What can you see? He sees everything. All of time. All of space.
All of you. Good. All of the police academy rules. I've seen all of them.
Oh, no. Oh, no. That's what is the third. Oh, no.
It's not the cheap child. It's fucking Paul's voice number three. Paul's voice and other fucking three. Which he stole off that animated sketch show.
Yes, you did. And you know which one I mean. No, it's probably stolen off the Stocks from the bomb. Oh, and it looks good.
Good. Good. Stop. You've ruined it.
I wasn't doing that voice. I was doing I am the star child. The star child now. Isn't that from fucking Ash and Smoovey?
No, that's the game child. You're the cheap show child. Don't tell me. Don't start doing this.
What? Right. Read the flipping thing out. Oh, yeah, we're doing this.
Right. Hello there. Paul and Eli. I'm a recent subscriber and I'm highly enjoying the content recently binged most of the past episodes over the past two weeks.
We don't really need to know that. Thank you. It's nice to know that. Getting a little bit too much detail really.
Listen, I'm the one who criticizes their writing style. That was fine. Anyway, I was not sure. Can you always say, all right, get to the point.
I didn't mind that. You know, that's concise. He's been just listening to them. Anyway, I was not sure where this would go, but I knew you'd be interested.
Many years ago, when I was in primary school, I was about seven or eight. I'm not sure. Drugs and alcohol has since racked my brain. Oh, dear.
Anyway, there was a competition that all my class entered. Every people, their names were into a hat, but no prize was announced. Then later in the day, a man came into my classroom and said, we have a winner. Sorry.
What? Sorry. Sounds like battle royale. Sounds like a man came in with all our names in a hat.
What was it? Who was this man? No, it was his relationship to them. It was a competition in the class.
You'll put their names in a hat. They drew one out. It was him, right? And then it was Stuart.
No, Steve. What's he called? Stuart. Thank you.
Got it right. Yeah, sorry. No prize was announced. And later the day, a man came into the classroom and said, we have a winner.
Me. I still wasn't sure what I had won, but then he announced, Stuart, you're going on to Knowles House Party. Wow. No, no, that is cultish.
The way is like, okay, it's time to enter a competition. No one knows what it is though. And here's the man from the competition people. Hello, children.
I'm the man. You, one of you, is very lucky. You little Stuart. You are going on the Knowles House Party.
No, no, no, don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry. Come with me.
Take your belongings. Uncle Knowles, out in the car park. Your mom and dad, no. God, God.
Right. Here we go. So, where are you going to Knowles House Party? So there used to be a section called Wait till I Get You Home, where Satan, I think he means Knowles, would ask kids questions about their parents, etc.
And listen to the kids. Hilarious responses. I remember that. He was like, Oh, my dad, my mom, he said he's putting his, his penis in his, in the good night hole.
Isn't it? It's all like that. My dad drinks the liquid. He calls body water.
He drinks the whole part of it. And then he smacks my head. Mommy, mommy sometimes has a magic wand she puts on her wrist. And she says it makes her all go nice.
Well done. Here's a super Nintendo. That's how it carried away. Did they, did, were their prizes off consoles?
Yeah. The one I remember some. Yeah, you would remember a detail like that. Super Mario stars as well.
Yeah. I, I'd dop him appearance. What was Mario all stars? Was that like a performance for the Super Nintendo that had one, two, three, and the last level?
It's like Compendium. Yeah. And a lot of levels. Which was American, which was the Japanese who were Mario too, but was deemed too hard to American audiences.
So they made another game called Doki Doki Panic. Okay. The games of the Marvel. Yeah.
And then it was the line of interest. We crossed the line. We crossed the way. Cross the line.
Thank you. So my mother and I were taken to a BBC building at gunpoint. I had a bad idea and horned into a room which was known as the Green Room, which had no windows or anything in it. Kind of like casino.
Well, no, because they are fruit machines and cards and a roulette wheel and sparkling lights. Right. The difference. I think you know he's getting very picky.
You are. I'm doing your work today. This is fine. This letter so far.
Put some fucking energy into it. Eli. Whoa. So myself and a bunch of kids sat around, right?
Oh, I completely zoned out. We're doing a podcast. So myself and a bunch of kids sat around and played with broken Tiger handheld games. Right.
And then my name was called and I was taken away onto the set and there he was sitting there staring. I sat on the seat across from him and he shifted to look directly at me rather unnervingly. So he started asking me questions as the cameras rolled about what my mommy does for a living and what age you think my mommy is hoping for hilarious answers. But me being stupid or clever for my age, I just answered the normal like my mommy's in her 30s.
There you go. It's your mom old. Yeah. It's your mom old.
And then he's like, can't it's not working. Get out. Flush this color. No, we'll be enough.
You just please know. No, where you go? You just please not satisfy me. You can come with me.
You will be the outcast in the world of no. Anyway, I this is not pleased the dark Lord and I remembered his face getting more frustrated but never breaking eye contact like a vampire trying to hypnotize me. After the harrowing interview, I never saw my audition air on TV. I never got my new high-fi and CDs because like, you know, that would be one of the prizes they got given if they were on the show.
So no, we'll just like, just film them all. I'll watch him. Yes, because you've got to have a lot of kids who are just like, you're a strange bearded man. My mom's 32.
I see my mom guys are bad. She closed the door. She doesn't expose me to her sex life. No, anything like that.
If you're a child now, I'm exploiting me as a child for what? Directly. To about family. And then, sort of with slightly sneerie and a bit sort of, Oh, that's how tone and don't think about it.
That was the height of his powers wasn't it? House party. But also, I'm going to want a bit more than a CD by a lot. Let's talk about money now.
I've got some red hot shit on my mom. And if you want it, if you want it, you know, if you want the failed souffle store, you know, that's the good one in it. Yeah. Then I'll be flapping.
I can do business with. Yeah. Right. No, I like this.
I've got a stick on that balls, a bikini top falling down. I've got two boxes. One of them's got Nintendo in. One's got fuck all in.
What does the universe say? It's fucking witch. Sorry. I'm just.
And that's what you're meant to deal with. Yeah. Like conning kids. Yeah.
I was a fucking idiot. You didn't wish there were at full of something. Because you didn't imagine them. They were a bit full of money.
You didn't fucking convince. So creating bullshit out of thin air with your mind. Anyway, looking back on the experience, I think my lucky stars because of the time period of the BBC, I surprised I wasn't molested. Well, there you go.
Oh, fuck you. Yes. Well done. But this was, when was House Party on, Paul?
Most of the mid 90s, I think. Yeah. That was way past the year three years. Yeah.
Well, as well before. Well, past when the actual crimes were being committed. Yeah. You know, for all the same, we throw it.
No, I don't think he was. I do not think he was too much of a robot. He was much more likely to sever the heads of women. He didn't like it.
It just feels like that to me. Yeah. I don't think, you know, I'm having a real life sex around the taxi. Why does he do that?
Why does he do that? Why does he do that? Yeah. Well, he's a bit demented.
I think he's a sociopath. I think we can go so far as to say he must be a bit sociopathic, mustn't he? I love that way that TV, because remember we did the Top of the Pop Magazine thing? I mean, read that interview with him.
Yeah. And he says in it, oh, I've got many businesses. I have a record shop. He's like a machine.
He's like, you know what? He's like, yeah. And you have to have a little bit of that sociopathy to... Yeah.
Sociography. Yeah. Yeah. So he affects the motion.
That's what I mean. Like, I think he's, you know, in all honesty, jokes, I don't hate him like that much. I hate his style. And just everything he represents in culture.
Earnest superiority? Yeah. I don't know. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, he's the PS on this. But I don't think he's actually behind closed doors.
Yeah. The murderer or, or on a sex abuse. Yeah. All right.
So PS, the only other thing I remember and still laugh about was across from the green room, the room across the door, call us the bad sentence. Oh, wait, across from the green room. Is it a bad sentence? Are you, are you like, yeah, not reading it very well?
Start again. Go back. Let's have a running. Let's have a running.
A sentence it's running, Paul. Yeah. PS, the only other thing I remember and still laugh about was across from the green room, the room across the door was open. That's terrible.
See, thank you. Across from across across across across across across across across across across across across from the green room. There was another room with the door. I get an in there, laid the costume of Blobby draped over a chair.
Some kids birthday to tears because they thought Blobby had died. Yeah. Yeah. It reminds me of when I went to see the Muppet Show being filmed.
Yeah. When I was five and I walked into a room and there was a huge wall of all comets. Okay. And then all, all my piggy.
So I was like, what? What on earth? It's like the face of the body smashes. Obviously I kind of realised it.
And then Frank, oh, this did Fossey bear for us. I thought you meant like fondly mums boob. Was that my wasn't there? Oh, I was not there.
All right. I don't know. I told you this story before I happened. You told me, but I don't know if you mentioned it properly on teacher like you know what I did.
It was one of my earliest memories to meet the Muppets because my friend's dad was friends with Jim Henson. So, a friend of your dad was a friend of Jim Henson. No, my dad friends dad was friends with Jim Henson. Oh, your friends dad was a friend of yours.
Okay. All right. Oh, cool. Yeah.
So you got to go down L Street. Yeah. And watch it being filmed. And then Frank, I was got the fucking Fossey bear puppet and was like talking to us as Fossey the fucking bear.
Did you lose your ship? Mate, it was a kid. Did you still think it was alive? Even though you saw the cusp of that because I was following.
That's what I mean. That's why it was such a shock when I saw like 17 miss piggy. It's like, what? All the backs they do.
Yeah. But the other thing I love about Henson is that it's not about pretending that they're really real creatures, they're really alive or do you know what I mean? It's not about it's all those like the sticks you could see. And it was just about proper animation where you actually bring something to life.
Yeah. The magic of that doesn't matter. They can tell that it's not real. Do you know what I mean?
It's like, um, Avenue Q. Have you seen that? Yeah. The musical with head and lips.
I've heard actually heard the you played this out. Yeah. It's not like it's, you know, it's a musical. So whether you like that means your property or not.
But what's the Henson wasn't involved? No, no, no. The point I'm trying to make is that when I went to see it live, even the actors are on stage with the puppets, you kind of at some point zone the actors out and you just see the puppets going at it. And that was fascinating because there is that sense of you've got to buy the reality this thing.
It means you have to mentally raise something from reality. Yeah. Henson was great at that. It kind of like making the artifice real.
It's like, like I say, it's like actually animating, giving so skilled that you actually just bring it to life. I found out recently. There's a thing called the Muppets Christmas, right? And it's a TV special.
I didn't know it existed, but it's the only major film. No, it was Christmas carol and all that stuff. But this is like a TV, you know, Christmas special. Right.
It has. The Muppets going to see Fosse's mother and you know, saving it in a cabin for all the Muppets going along. But the Muppets really want to be there this year or something like that. But anyway, she ends up saying, and then, and then all the Sesame Street gangtail and they start hanging out with Focky Sesame Street.
And then all the Freckle Rock kids turn out. There's a Freckle Rock section as well. It's interesting. I don't know if it's all on YouTube, but mate, I never know it.
Or it's got everything in it. Anything Henson was doing at that time. And also, I don't know if it's just before just after, but they used the same puppets from Muppets Take Manhattan to do a Muppets baby section of the show as well. To leave and have like a live action.
I still like that cartoon. I bit babies as well. Yeah, everyone loved it. It was great.
Who was that animal? Good. So let's let her to scooter is Gita. It was Gita was in at the backstage guy on Muppets in the Muppets babies.
He had a two-is-this the cool scooter. What happened to her? Well, I don't know. What happened to scooter?
Does anyone know? Is she selling her fur under streets? Selling her fur. Was she an animal?
Oh, the fells. She's, oh, you know, mate. The fabric in it. Paul.
Do you want to be the next letter? Yeah. Or do you just want to carry on smoking? I'll read it.
Oh, it's quite meaty. Thank you. Here's the email as well. Ha ha ha.
Don't we have a lot of fun on cheap show Ladies and Gentlemen? I think you'll agree. Hello, Paul and Eli. Hello.
You may remember me from such tales as Eat Shit, McCunt. I don't know. I don't know. That's the one where they didn't give her free coffee.
So she's shouting the same. I must have definitely blanked that one out in McDonald's. And she wrote in shit. Oh, eat shit.
Was that that one? It was either period blood or shit that she wrote. You know, I'm glad we haven't done these for a while when you think about it. It was a shit heavy episodes for a few days, you know?
A few episodes were pretty shit heavy. Well, let's see where this one goes. Let's see where this one goes. Anyway, about six months or so ago.
Also, six. Oh, I've been trouble with those in death and already straight out the gate. Anyway, about six or so months ago, I got a job on the railway. I won't say which operator because you could technically locate me with that information.
Oh, once again, imagine for me that we are on a late night train from London Paddington, depends on us. Oh, I will. That's very, very long. Excited.
Long way. Yeah. Now, I'm tired at this point because I've been working all day. But annoyingly, if I'm riding on a train home, I have to work that train and check all tickets and boring paperwork.
That means you've got to work it, baby. You've got to stop it down. Work the train. Hey, baby.
You're looking bad. I've got to do my announcement. You know, sandwiches available in the buffet car. Hot drinks.
Right. Come on. You're working a train. You have to do the work.
Working on the fucking train. Mate. What else do you do? Right.
Work that train. He checks the tickets. He's a conductor. Fine.
So as we pass through a tunnel, I enter first class in first class customers are usually either arrogant businessman old ladies or private school kids and almost all of them are irritating. Yeah. Easily, I might feel you, bro. I feel for you.
It's like you while we do that. No, that's not how it goes. God. I feel for you.
I think I love you. That's how it goes. Yeah. I'm allowed to have some artistic, like, let me just do it.
I feel for you. Was it Prince Prince? I don't think it was Prince. Was it?
I think I love you. You know what I think what we do. My DJ plays. I've got half an hour of Prince music in between two Prince bands.
That's all right. I don't have anything. That's how the band sound track on. Thanks for your tip, Paul.
Put the back man soundtrack on. Just do it. Party man. Oh, a party man.
I hear after party like, oh, nobody cares. I might get those regulations. No, please, this nation. Please, please show them party man.