What Eli doesn't know. I've stopped him because he doesn't know. So let's just see what I can get him to say. He's trying to be.
Oh, Eli, you ready to record the next episode of Cheap Show? I just have to clean my bottom. Yeah. Yeah.
As you know, I shit myself all the time. Oh, on purpose, I get kicked sexually from it. But don't let any of the audience know that. I couldn't.
I wouldn't. Oh, I would never. Oh, I've been recording the whole time. No, no, no, no.
Everyone's going to know you like Mookie sex. I just like to say, Paul, yeah, made me say it. You love it. You like who that's a good way to start this.
You like pooh, it is the best way ever. It's not my best intro yet. Is that it? Yes, my best intro entry.
That's my cold open. Would you like to see my cold open? I'd like to see an open cold. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to another edition of the Cheap Show podcast with me, Paul Ganon and that.
And that's life. That's life. You fucking pay attention. I'm Paul Ganon and that's.
That's a finger. No. I'm not doing anything. And that's what?
That's right. Hello, I'm the Chief Jodie comedy podcast for your ears. We go for the charity shop, the bargain bins and power lands and great Britain. Double shows and bring back great plenty for you to endure to say, Hey, what's there at?
He's tight. I'm a nice government, but let's get it right. I'm still two, three years in. Still have a catch for this show.
But I think we've retired cheap for on fleet for cheap. Never caught on. It's terrible. Welcome to the Cheap Show.
Hello. Hey, you and your fucking mood for a posse. What about mood? What did you say?
What about the same? I'm doing it. What about the same? What about the same?
What about the same? What about the same? So, yes, welcome to the Cheap Show. You've got the same podcast.
I'm Paul Gannon. You're like, still feeling that. That's fun. What have we got coming up on the show today, Paul?
Here's an idea from a listener on Reddit. Let's see if we can talk about, because last week we talked about the source trough section of the show. It's not happening. Source report.
It's not source report. Actually, these may be over. Yeah, that's what I've been saying all the time. Like the source report.
Source report. And just like that. This is an old source from a kebab I had sometime in the last week. It's yogurt and garlic sauce.
Yeah. And we throw that out. Spoth. It's not Spoth.
You did it. It's not Spoth. I think it's an episode where we don't mention Sponk, Paul. As of now.
No, we can't. He said, Spoth, Spoth, Spoth, Spoth, Spoth. Only just said, it's Spoth. He plays the bass.
What would you like to say. What would you like on your gravestone? It's Spoth. He and I, Sponk.
Can't he spark Milligan, is it? Eli Sponkeman. It's just gone four minutes. Still only in the show.
No more sponk in this episode. I might follow. Always happy enough for that. It's always been you pushing the spunk agenda.
Right, okay, so you wanted to say spank then in it? I'm gonna abide by your constrictions. You've already broken it by actually saying it out loud. I didn't say I'd do it.
You just said I'd welcome that and I agree. I'd welcome it but not this episode. No, I'm doing it. No, I'm doing it.
What's a munch, munch, munch, munch, oh, it keeps it delicious. It goes hard, percussive, evolutionary reasons. It does, it goes all jelly after a few minutes. It goes dry though, flaky.
No, that's after a long time. Yeah. Egg attack. That's what it thickens, come on, you're.
You're going to stay up there and have a better chance of impregnating the egg. He done, I'll put the romance in it, don't ya? My spunk congeals like it's meant to after a few minutes. Okay, anyway, here's another idea for the show because you know.
You can make a bouncy ball out of it. I won't tell you what the title of this is called. I will say it's by a small. This is the suggestion, isn't it?
From Billy Beansprout on Reddit. That's their, that's their name. Yes. Okay.
It's not the real fucking thing. Yeah, it could be. Billy Beansprout, did you just fall? Did you just fall again?
I don't fall. Well you fucking stop it. It's a small room, the house of pickles, with a very, very, I want to say close ecosystem. All right.
Here's the idea. I want to get to it. Fucking hell. Eli, after a hearty few days of London street food and lots of beer, he should be blindfolded and made to expel his waist.
Okay, here's how the idea starts. Okay. I'm listening. The show proceeds in the manner of the brand versus off brand challenges.
Paul handing Eli a variety of different toilet papers, which Eli can review for the listeners. Hopefully you'll put his finger through one of them. Eli's got some dire results. Yes, that's tough.
The hangover cure, diary medicine. Which is sufficiently binding to be an aid to timing the third birth for the show. This could be followed by a similar challenge for fantasized tissues and wanking. They can share their responsibility here.
Right, can I? And then someone says, this is fucking excellent. No, no, no, no. Just like to say Paul, that will not be happening.
No, it's not funny. It's not a grubby boy. I love dirty grubby boy who can tell the difference between toilet papers. I just wipe my ass, get over and done with.
Yeah. Can you wash my hands? Yeah, provided it's a fair sweat wipe. So I might have a go on those.
Although those are bad for the environment. Yeah, they are. So don't flush them. Don't flush them wipes.
No, they can be recycled. You can wipe your ass and put them when you're cycling a bit. No, you can't. Yeah.
No. No, you can't. Yeah. I'm persuading everyone listening to this podcast to use a wet wipe to wipe their ass and then just put it in recycling.
Paul, yeah, we actually have now reached a new low on the show. Yes, we have. I'm sorry, but we have. What the idea?
You shouldn't have read that out. We don't encourage people. Well, this is our time to address those ideas. Isn't it?
It's a podcast. Look, wipe your ass test. It's not happening. It's not happening.
You have a version of the streets underneath it. Wipe your ass mate. You are going to do this thing with durex or julex. Who makes the toilet paper durex?
No, they make Johnny's. Oh, I got a pregnant. There's the comedy with the condom and the toilet paper. Wipe your ass mate.
That's not a very good idea. It's a cool idea. I've lost you. You're lost in a world of pain.
Shall we instead have a tails from the show? The tails on the show floor. No, keep going. I was doing those sounds to kill time while I looked at the email.
I forgot to do the email search and I was just doing it. I did it. Oh, come on, let me chuck a card because I feel for you. I feel for you.
This one I love you. Not Arnie. Everyone does the impression of the impression. 500 is trouble.
Is that the yeti? It's not. Do you know he might be making a little appearance on this show a bit later for you've asked for it Yes mentioning what like Candyman or bloody Mary yes, but there was no Candyman. No, it was a Clibarka story.
Yeah, did you have the whole say's name five times thing? I'm sure I read it. It was a book of blood wasn't it the series of stories? I'm not a lot of bulk a short stories books Hi, Barker.
Yeah, he's into all pseudo masochistic stuff and yeah, and I tried to read his what? What you looking at you really? Because you're getting excited about all the Clibark stuff and I wasn't looking for you little big top to go you're a record You're just a wasteland an intellectual waste. Oh fuck off Right, here's a story for tells me shop floor Oh, honey, I'll the title gives no way so I'm gonna hold that close dear I just read the story as is to yield from the shop flower dear Paul any like I don't know if it would count But I used to work in a bar and then a pub when I was 18 I've seen a couple as a cow pull as a cow Yeah, yeah, you provide a service behind a counter.
It's a shop. It's a shop. It's a shop for booze Oh, it's a boozy shop in place where you put your money down and you get drinking get a drink in and it's a shop The John gone. It's a puppy shop.
Oh, I got this fucking drink on. Oh Come on work work without actually nothing's gonna work. No here we go One Saturday night a regular at the bar I was working in Cayman and was doing what many Brits do on a weekend Get a good binge on with his friends, right? Oh Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, dude.
Hey, baby. Oh, we should address that right now That clipper pool shade doing the sad pub singing songs. Are you lost that other feeling? Performer Fucking stop it Oh, man, I'm close I've been to put you Once push it push it and see we go on then Burk, bruh, bruh.
Don't. Let's just like get your own back together. I'm gonna turn your nose into a squashed Italian's motto. All right.
Are you a magician? No, I was gonna punch it and break all the bones in your nose. Why? No one likes you.
How can you force me? No. No. No.
No. No. No. No.
No yeah, I don't. Yeah, it's good. They don't understand though the pain I have just working with you. Just having to come to this hellscape.
You call the bedroom where a pope draped in misery. A room. Not draped in misery. A room.
It just looks like a hold of sorties, a bedroom looks like when a parent loses a child right and then decides to never change the bedroom at all ever, leave it in the state it was in and just let it get dusty and all as it was, well on the day that child died. The only difference is you still live in that room. Mo, mo, mo. The point being is, Canadian actor Paul Portner listened to the show, got in touch and said, ah, people use that clip and they make fun without a context because at the time, that he does that performance on Pebble Mill, doing that song and everyone going, look at him singing like a fucking loser.
He was in a play at that time and in that play, he played a washed up pub singer, cabaret act. And so that song appears in the play. I see. And so yes, it's cringy and awkward and weird.
But he's meant to be. He's playing the role of a cringy and awkward singer. And he was on this morning or whatever. Yeah, Pebble Mill at one.
Pebble Mill at one to promote the play. Yeah. And so they never showed up when they do the clips instead. You get fucking, ah, there's a version of online you can watch and it's spoken over by that comedian with the glasses on eight out of 10 cats.
What is fucking name? It was also in 15 stories high. He wrote with Martin Marr. Sean Lock.
Fucking Sean Lock. I don't know if he wrote the script or whatever, but every five seconds in between versus the song, he chips in with a little city line. Right. So, and he just says, shut up, play the clip.
Oh, I wouldn't sing like that. Yeah. Oh, baby, baby. Yeah.
Listen, you're not fucking funny talking over funny clips. The clips are funny. And if you're not secure enough to let the clip play out, don't write shit media. You could commentary over it.
Don't go beetle with your fucking, who's been framed? Shit. Yeah. Fucking shut it Sean Lock.
You're a horrible cunt. There we go. I don't play shit, I didn't think we would be going for all, but yes. And I like 15 stories.
I think it's fucking amazing stuff. What is it? It's the sick of me there with Martin Marr. He wrote, they voted together.
What era? But that was when they were young. Yeah, 2000s. OK.
So maybe even mid-norties, it came out. I made it. That was good. Very.
And Lock was good in it. Basically, he got even a tower block. And he meets the women goes and let the ventures and random people on the way. He liked it.
Yeah, very funny. It's one of those things that people forget exists. If you go back and watch it, genuinely great stuff. And the radio show that came with it as well, is already so first, which is very sketchy.
So the sketch format was going up a floor and going along a room. And you just have a different sketch for a different TV show. It was more sitcom. OK.
But apart from that, horrible man. Although some might be listening to that and correct us. But I don't care. I'm never going to meet him.
And frankly, if you listen to me next, I want to meet him then. Sorry. I'm never meeting him. I'm never meeting him.
What are we doing? Oh, yeah. This. OK.
Guy comes in. I'm going to drink with friends. I saw him go into the gents at about 11 PM. And we were due to close in about an hour or so.
Come 12, everyone had left. But I remember. Sorry. Sorry.
Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.
Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.
Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.
Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. It's beenching with it's very exciting.
How do they go? Well, we don't know. Let's get for the story before you fucking rinse it. OK.
There weren't any male staff around. And I was friendly with the regular. So he decided to investigate myself. What?
I was friendly with the regular. Yeah. Who's the regular? He's, I was with the regulars.
Regulars. Regulars. So maybe what she's saying. Is it?
It's she? It must be? You're wearing any male bow. She's going in and she's venturing into the male bow.
So Arnie's a lady then. Unless that's Amy. Oh, Amy. I read it wrong.
Look at that. What does that look like? You'll remember them. Let's say, oh, you can quickly look.
Oh, it's not this, yes, because it's only one M. Yeah. So it looks like could be on a yes board. Yes.
So there you go. Not just complete. Wank shaft idiot. Right.
So she goes in, she opens the door, and a waft of the piss greeted me. Always great flavour. Always waft. That always brings you when you're going to the bits.
He gets you right in the nose. Burns, that piss melt. I don't know what it sounds like. I don't know what it sounds like.
I'll be flakes. Dripping down from a glass table. Oh, you're just just 50 pounds. They said 50 pounds.
Easy as 50 pound you'd make, they said. What else did they say? Can we keep you for another hour? And then what did you do?
You got dirty. No. Oh. He pulled in me mouth.
Right. OK. Let's crack on. So, open the door, waft of piss greeted me.
As I came in, I saw the middle cubicle door wide open, and our poor regular bent forward sat on the toilet, trousers, round his ankles, and head between his legs. This is the guy from there. Out cold. I lifted him up, and all was revealed like a horrible prize behind the curtain.
Ah, yes. Of course. I forgot they would be a penis. I tried everything I could do to wake him up.
I even pinched him. I started getting wood and called the ambulance. They managed to bring him around very quickly and take him away. He up very embarrassed at the time, but not for long as he was back the next weekend.
However, a year later, I saw him in the news, and that he had been arrested multiple times for getting his willy out to women in public places. He's pretending. So the whole story for me has changed. And I wonder if he really blacked out at all.
He didn't. Dirty bastard. Thanks for all the work you do. All you thought was listening.
Lots of up, Arnie. So, Amy, you're such a dick. No, you are. No, he's such a dick.
Well, you had such a dick. I said, go for a shit fella sleep, though. Once he'd seen it, he would think he would come to you, isn't he? Yeah, he'd talk, oh, I woke up.
Be sure to accomplish. We should accomplish. I'm talking to the leader of this time in his position. Well, he wants to show his dick.
So, he goes to the ring moral of, this takes Colombo S kind of planning. Oh, I want to talk to my dick. Oh, she works. Everyone else is a man.
How can I do it? I've caused that. I could surprise her. I'm going to wait in a toilet over an hour in my pants and I'll be asleep when she comes in.
Guessing that, she'll have to come in. The odds will go to come in. want, oh, oh. Well, these low-book ghosts have notes.
And then, pinch, pinch. Oh, yeah, pinch, oh. Oh, oh. You really have for it yourself in this place, isn't it?
No, it's not. I wanna make that noise. Only you make that noise. Now, yes, but you'd think, Paul, I think someone could maybe go to those lengths to expose themselves, but where it falls down for me, that theory is, they actually call the ambulance.
You think, oh, I can't wake them up. You think now, it's time to wake up. He's just drunk. He's just drunk.
He's very drunk. He's just drunk. He'd be very drunk. Very drunk.
I reckon he was very drunk. But then, why did he expose himself on just because... You fall asleep with your cock out on the toilet the next minute, you know, you're dangling it. Maybe that's what started it.
That incident started off in his mind. We don't know. He thought when he did come round, unless he had a prior. I think he's like, is that you listening?
Will you that man get in touch? How did you do it? Unless it's Sean Lock. It is Sean Lock.
This podcast announced right now that the man in that story is Sean Lock. Legally, I approve. I have all the proof. I'll get Amy to see me.
I'll be saying it was Sean Lock and then it's proof. And then we'll do finding Sean Lock. And you can never watch this comedy again. No, no, no.
He's just blowing your nose into your t-shirt. It's a vest. Into your clothes. It's rib for your comfort.
God, you dirty fucking horrible, ugly, stomping nasty twatter. You're just a horrible cunt. Fucking apple. You're not being very good on this podcast.
Oh, says a man blowing his nose into his own clothes. You don't have to include that, do you? I am going to include that because your militia who wants needs to see what goes on in the house of pickles. And it's a horror.
The site I've seen, I could do a speech like Blade Runner about the sites I've seen. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Other pants off the coast of Mount Crock-Pants on fire.
I saw scribbles. What are they doing? I'm marching to an endless, lemming style death into the Skidmark Nebula. OK, Paul.
So that's a tells in the shop floor. That's the section door. Welcome to Cheap Show. Let's crack on.
We've got platters coming up. And we've also got one of Ganon Golden Games. Ganon's Golden Games. Let's just crack on.
It's time for Silverman's Platter. Hi there, Paul. Yeah. It's Platter Time.
What are we coming up on the platters? I don't know. It's talking about something. I was just going to say Silverman's I needed.
Right. Yes. Well, what have we got? We've got platters and they're coming at you like a platter splatter.
Ooh. This is the segment of the show where the things we find in charity shops of the vinyl nature are brought in, listen to, and evaluate it like a splatter platter on a man after. Right back at you on the splatter platter. It's funny how this DJ can do like grand off.
Here's one by Clyde McPatter. It's a real splatter platter. Ooh. You're not very good on this podcast.
Oh, yeah. You're not very good on this podcast. Yes. It's time for Silverman's Platter.
Paul and he are Richard Randolph and DJ because they sounded similar. Those characters. If that DJ just got rough, rough, rough. No, he wouldn't though because he'd be a totally separate thing.
I am team yet. No, I am team yet. What you doing? Just about team yet.
Oh, hello. It's not. It has not seen like, seen like, seen like, seen. Alright, I should stay.
Hold on. Come. No. underage.
That's a swatch. and I have a nice magic tricks. Oh no. No, he is a magic trick.
He is making a road jacket towards me. I am too yattie. I am too. You're just joking with my attitude.
I'm a lesson Sasquah. What Barbara. You stupid bitch. What.
I am rich. I am rich. I do. I do.
I do. I am rich. I am rich. I am rich.
I am rich. I am rich. I am rich. I am rich.
Bob right Paul something offensive. I just like to use this opportunity to announce to the listeners of church I'd like to announce something to I Can say that with all certain to oh we can have another one of your fucking Twitter polls if you run now I will find out is to get me played by a large element and they will say yes They were so yes, and you cannot be portrayed by anyone else. Oh and say guys for a Shabrendel. I see yes He's like James Bond or people can interpret it differently Right, okay, you're so you like I'll see you in court, but I think I'm losing my fucking mind.
I think you're all well I'm seeing you see Just take this off training quickly by my Paul to me Yeah, so I'm retiring from the pop music world. Oh, no following the allegations and the leaving melt got And I am now going to be tea yet a wrap poet and I'll just give you a little taste of What's to come oh? Oh? I like my I go up the mountain and I'm sure yes, yes, and you got a teen yet.
I'm Back in thanks to you look out for it in the shops you take you to you back Well exclusive track there from teen yet, but I didn't yet to tell you don't pull you insulted him if you're fucking bullshit I didn't get I didn't get it. Not character. I didn't know something to look but I didn't speak for him which is brand off thing Yeah, we should round off came in no, you did it you can't do my characters. Oh, it's character.
I'm looking at you But put it aside. Yeah, it's pulled back the curtain here for a second. Yeah, don't do my characters You see shit I can fucking do Jimmy you can't do Jimmy biscuits. Yeah, hi.
I'm Jimmy biscuits Hey Jimmy biscuits. Hey, I used to be a couple of years ago. I'm ashamed of a Jewish heritage. I Right anyway What can we show up with with well, okay?
Yeah, cuz I think we can tie those two together thematically So three choices like this is an unusual seven inch that I've It's not funny. It is I thought it was funny. This is an unusual seven inch ball in that it looks like a grain of rice Cricket ball well warm balls, but it's seven inches long So it's a big grain of ice. Yeah big fat like a noodle more like an deep-sea Woodlight thing Yeah, it's like that.
Yeah, I just put me off everything right my dick's like an insect from underwater Is is I've never seen anything else on this label the label is keph records and has a symbol of a little fizz And it is save our energy brackets. That's what Simon says. Okay, so let's listen to my group Yeah, actually usually say the group. Yeah, the energizers right so you can see energy energizers, right?
Let's play a little bit of it for you right now Save our energy You Is an instrument called energy rock on the beat by the energizers as well So Tell us what you think it is I think it was commissioned by some kind of maybe government body Energy department definitely not really 74 and it's an American release it sounds really cheesy in that British kind of holiday camp white careful Dutch and produced by Elliot Chirput chirput chirput chirput and it's and it was written by Elliot chirput as well, okay Okay, care for records, but it has a sort of middle East thing because of the the the Egyptian hat isn't it yeah, but that doesn't mean anything because they kill a logo on anything doesn't mean anything I just think maybe it's American, but it seems to be a novelty song. Yeah encouraging people to save energy Simon says make sure you unplug your dish. Yes, we said. Yeah, don't use too much gas Turn your lights off when you leave your house Cycle your rinse your milk bottles out and make sure that you turn off the heater Simon says basically Simon says so maybe go on a website to compare the best energy prices What it I'm with EDF National Defense League You racist EDF the French energy company English Defense League, so it's a strange novelty come public information.
I'm sure British It sounds British it sounds like I think it's American But you know that black like okay, so black ladies about we'll talk about soon and black ladies is a very kind of cheesy novelty But that do things like a cover of Simon says you know that they did a cover of Simon says this is originally that Simon says I don't know is the Archie's or something it was like a quick look on that internet It was it was like Jimmy James and the Chondels or it was um says here for own Monch. I can't be right fair amount He's a sort of he's a rapper. Oh, yeah, it's not. Oh, he's just got a song called Simon says.
Oh, I'm gone 1910 through gun company. Yeah, that's it. Yeah, it's a bullgun pop song written by Elliot Chipprot I'm only recorded 1967 by the 1910 through gun company becoming the most successful chart hit So it's his own song that he's reworked. Yeah, the song was based on the children's game Simon says Released by border records ends at the top 100 in January 1968 rose number four This is six years later hit in the UK with region number two initially the songs by a group Guilliano Not Tony so it's similarly like the popcorn song like there's different groups in different parts of the world cover it With it black legs are definitely gonna cover up it so and this is his own cover But he's he's used his own song in the service of saving energy also the band called the energizers He energizes with his head and a gyre is hers.
It's an attractive label night blue green Sorry green and pink see photos on the website this cocks if we're gone to for this information energizers. What's it say? Absolutely fucking nothing. Oh, though.
It was a call by professor Trenton the energizers in 96 weird. Yeah Save our energy. That's what Simon says energy rock. Chef records.
Yeah, that's it how much is it going for it is going for Look at the marketplace. I'm gonna look at the marketplace. I'm gonna fuck off £1.54 Interested it's a bit like that one we saw a few episodes ago If you have a so to go the gas company one the yes Could they were there's a record to promote their regeneration of the city and you feel that this is it must be in the service of some Government body the energy board or something Well, Simon says you gotta start to kids. Yeah, so you're just encouraging team that just to save energy It's a record his time has come it's a splatter.
Well, message is just as important as ever Don't it's like, you know that Bruce Forsyth song I'm backing Britain Bruce Forsyth in the 70s when Britain was going through that economic downturn like the three day weeks or it was all the That was when the first European referendum was said So he did a song a promotional song probably people by the government saying back Britain cut down on your expenditure And be it's like I'm back in Britain and no answer to say it cosh people to save money We're all in it together. Yeah, I heard that before massive promotional thing Meanwhile Bruce he's singing it's a massive fucking paycheck and using it to find somewhere to take his wife Oh, that that brings us to Paul. Yeah, the issue of yeah, Michael Jackson It all tells me the data dance floor. Let's get it out the way.
I was I DJ. Yes. Yeah, so I usually the promoter drunk Well, yes back on professionally Don't you talk about that look okay? Pissing the bins right outside the menu DJ well off the stage This in full view everyone else Used to work there.
He's just pissing a glass and leave behind the deck for people to take wow Clean up see okay, so I'm like that. Yeah, I don't ever piss my bins anymore Okay, that was several years ago Anyway, I'm just saying so the promoter will check that I'm still confirmed for that weekend You know just a little you stop Friday. Yeah, great great all good for Friday says but this week. Mm-hmm It was a little bit of extra.
Oh and a denture information. Oh By the way, you know, I wouldn't play any MJ this week. Oh Applied it was like the night after the it was shown on TV. Okay, because the child for the country finally never landed I think two boys who were molested allegedly And then I said well only page that's a five yeah, and he said now I wouldn't play that anymore either But and it just makes me think it's all very gray area all of this isn't it because people will what if it turned out that like a song like Happy birthday to you.
Yeah, like some piece of historical Information better than piece of pop culture. No some piece of historical information about the the writers of that song came out And they were child writers. Okay, right would we would we stop listening to well happy birthday to you? But it's stopping used as a song Would it pull but here's the thing that we've all argument of artists versus output like Like Lovecraft Crisis and didn't make that to on subtle is books sometimes, you know, so my theory is no you got a tain and keep it in context So we talked about this before the podcast like hook very thin and it's on soil where there's like there's the character and we're Edward Jim or whatever is the black character.
Yeah, and they said we need to get rid of the Edward from any future copies We're kind of kids reading it's like no you have to because you need to tell these kids why they were to use the context And why you shouldn't use it and why you choose by this character in the show in the book well It's like Steven Spielberg going back and trying to take all the guns and cigarettes Yeah, the T which you then or instantly regret it It's stupid because that whole revisionist thing doesn't necessarily solve the problem Yeah, it's a different point you're making you're talking about things that are actually referenced in the work itself Yeah, which is no longer acceptable or like the end. No true, right, but not talking about that My Jack's a never said he never does He never does anything to the danger of the matter I've been on a record there sing that good. I put you up I I reckon he did he did things with that rat right great. So I back you up Here's a thing It's me I honestly believe it is up to the presenters of the radio shows and the thing to decide they want to have it on their playlist I do believe there is a choice to be said in the matter All I'm saying is if they really want to stick it to the Michael Jackson estate You can still benefit from placing music being played Why not say because the allegations because of this other all the royalties many songs go for charity and that's about gaming and get out for people to enjoy the music Made by a molester.
It's such a way when you put it like that though. That's true. I mean again alleged I let you do it, but But Paul it's what I mean It's a real gray area when it comes to the authorship of art in the first place for example the Jackson 5 thing Yeah, you can argue did he write any of those? No, okay I don't I mean he is just the lead singer on that single like I want you back Yeah, he was the only singer on it.
No he doesn't play any of the instruments on it No, he did not write the song he did not produce the song He didn't you know the mean boys that now that's out of bounds as well Then this thing is like the Simpsons episode being dropped with Michael Jackson voiced, you know I forget you also wrote do the bar man and when I get to exactly the next casualty to I just think it's all very It's no you can't say a blanket thing about whether you should have listened to stuff It's like always a thing that was a thing about Mozart. He did some bad shit to me. Okay. What if it was a composer you not Level listen to the compositions, you know, and where does it what where does it start?
Where does it stop John Lennon beat his wife numerous to a pole apparently not to a literal? No, what he was a person I never can recognize the man along with the music seems like he said one thing in another That's my personal preference anyway I'm happy not to play Michael Jackson cuz I'm fucking sick and tired of the two I say I want you back. Yeah, I mean maybe I mean look as I say I don't think you can get rid of stuff like that But I think I think I have to put it to context it's like when Gary glitter so many sports stadiums in America played, you know Like come on come on. Yeah, whatever fucking call the leader all that stuff and then I ease a massive horrible horrible and confirmed Knots yeah terrible man again.
You can't place it on the radio, but it seems easier to say that for his music It's more throw away. Yes, but that's what I mean This is it's unprecedented in that my Jackson isn't just like a very popular musician. He was a huge cultural phenomenon Yeah, the likes of which we haven't even seen anyone that big Yeah, I know that's certainly the little thing about the documentary They said he was the last of the celebrities the proper celebrities don't touchable unknowable celebrity back in the day You like I never know Bogot, you know, you know, if you go go go never knew Clark Gable and hit Because we're so big and big characters, but now it's like I'll just tweet steam and fry and call my cunt Yeah, yeah, yeah, so that's black so he's the last of but he's a huge it's a huge cultural phenomenon Yeah, King of Pop. He's the biggest part of the biggest of all time So it's strange that we're just gonna walk like excise his whole body of work from it's not as easy Now he glitter was big in the 70s for a couple of years and had some couple of three four big numbers Yeah, I'm but no one gives a shit and it's like saffle and back all the people of social you tree It's like all those TV shows.
Yes, I saw all that radio bro. It's like there's no argument now I'm gonna say it's a great artist. No because he thought he was He did I would just like I just want to bring that out the point being is that you know this Mike smells I have no opinion one way the other but I'm happy not to play it fine I'm asked to you know, but you can always play in your own time. I'm not like, you know fight the power I'm gonna play my jackseas One less song to enjoy But we might it how about we just get all the bands that cover all the songs and then re-release them and then you can just Exactly my point.
It's like what is where is the moral where are you making a moral value of that song? Where are you making a moral where are you sinning? Complaining his version of thriller or someone who's just re-recorded the song and it there better benefiting it benefiting from it What's that also we didn't even we are the world. What do you do?
Put my car is gonna be angry. Why that song you did with Michael Jackson I can't do that anymore. Oh man. The other one Talking of replacing Michael Jackson thriller with a new Halloween horror classic horror classic.
It's all real song Like it's an awful now this is something that I remember quite clearly and it is dog shit It's saccharin to the point of well, here's the thing This is the period in British history where any any celebrity any like entertaining probably just a song like half these and hit with it Yeah, so it kind of this this isn't an anomaly This was set up by songs like granddad We love you by the same one of the girls Why I was quiet which had the actor in from dad's army. Yes playing the granddad role in the video Yeah, and then there was a Something else I can't remember right now But those saccharin child friendly vinyl almost that the novelty here their novelty hit leads to all those songs This is a novelty song so for me play because I think these context for those who don't know who Keith Harris and all this Keith Harris is Ventriloquist and he has a puppet that's a green disgustingly kind of P green duck baby with a boat I think yeah, that's it's a big thing. That baby is a duckling ball and he goes Oh, what do you call a shop where you get the pharmaceuticals? Dockling shop, so all of it is the name of the dork Keith Harris is the name of the puppeteer and the idea is the whole act is he goes Oh, he's very gentle.
He's a very big baby, duck, isn't it? Oh, oh, the dog you like me. Yeah, he's insecure horrible fucking idea for a character anyway Your baby duck in all that was a successful kids TV show in life act as well. You know you did the work in the team What was the format the TV show just come out and have a conversation with all villain and get a kid show?
Yeah, she's but he had another character. Well, let's just get this out of the way So with all that said the success of the TV show led to this single and this is that single. I'm sorry I wish I could fly way up to the sky, but I can't you can Oh We change how I feel today I know that we're never apart now here what I'm saying Who is your very best friend? I'm gonna help you man You're broken Makes me wanna pull out my fucking ears First Yeah, it looks like he's got some kind of disease where his cheeks are very John's yeah, not jaundry's that's when you turn yellow That's that they were box.
That's what he puts his meat junk in every night after a show his cheeks look like gonads. Yeah, or veals Yeah, it's very jolly. It's not a jowl. It's a big ball.
Yeah, that's great big round ball with cheeks Now that song is appalling because it trades on that aren't we family friendly, isn't it lovely? Oh? The character of all of them is fucking pathetic. Just won't fly.
I wish I could fly right up to the sky, but I can't Actually physically can I can't you know, I mean couple of years of living with that. I don't want to hear it Mate fucking don't want to hear it. You can you bitch the doctor. Oh, you can All right, good and fly it's just that count is so awful.
It's sickly sweet And then it's like he's playing it's like an attention sequence. Yeah, no one loves me Yeah, and then he has to sing the pocket or who is your very best friend? Yeah, I'm gonna help you man Oh The children are from what they are it's exactly the same little gimmick the granddad we love you some because look on the B side Keith Harris and Orville I didn't yeah, which will play the minute. Don't worry.
We'll get there It's key because the aside just keep ours and Orville. Yeah, but the B side is Keith Harris and Orville with the children from Alfa thing primary school ones were Same thing can you make the day when the headmaster came in all right school settle down? Oh, we got a big announcement today You're gonna be on a pop record. Oh, and you're gonna be successful.
We're gonna get all the quieters sing around Who is it? Is it Michael Jackson? No? No?
No? Is it Gary Gitter? King no, oh is it? How no is it?
Is it? Is it? Transmission van? Oh, it's Keith.
I really fancy it. I really fancy it. I really well man. No, you're not a man It's a girl school anyway, I don't know what I'm doing it.
What you do? What's going on? Oh, I just fancy. Oh, I'm transmission van Why you're 40 year old man?
Sorry? Get out. You've got a beard. All right.
Bye. Bye. So the point I'm trying to make is it's just such an insipid character such a horrible thing. Lyrics are horrible.
Terrible. The B side. I didn't. It sounds like this Very shy.
I wish I could fly. I once met some big birds who told me one day They said, just wrap your wings and your fly right away. But I didn't. No, I didn't.
Honestly, I didn't. How would I didn't? I'd get upset sometime. Now I think by a margin, it's better.
It's a better song. Why do you like this? The choir? No, it's just it's just little less fucking awful to listen to.
Yeah, it's a little less annoying. Hang on. I need to find the lyrics of this. 82 this record is from 1982.
It's about right. I didn't lyrics. Oh, oh. This article that came up by accident when I was just scrolling through.
Daily Mail. Keith Harris loved all the dorkamort that his wife. Oh god. Oh no, it's only got all those lyrics.
Oh, fuck it then. Fuck it. Anyway, it's I used to I used to amuse me when I was a younger, Paul. Yeah, think of this and think of him saying instead of I wish I could fly something like I've done a big poo.
I've been my pants and his trip. No, you didn't. It's empty. Yeah, watch it.
I've shot out my co-worker. Who is your very best friend? Not you. Fuck off.
Anyway, and he had another character. What was his other character called? Paul? Monkey.