Right before we get started then I'm giving this room a spray Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, we'll set my asthma off this room stinks of shit all the time and it's over I'm bringing I'm bringing cotton fresh air to this room Stop it spray it my face. Yeah good because you're dirty as well. I'm gonna go up this around the fucking thing I'm going that's better go up Did you do welcome to talk to the top it's a cold open we have to do the fucking intro No, I am this is the new intro Paul as with the will of the people the fucking will of the people do you do do Welcome to source report incorporating cheap show with me he and various guests Do-do-do-do great segment that was ladies and gentlemen welcome to cheap show the economy comedy podcast Oh Jugging Jugging Jugging Jugging Jugging Jugging Jugging Jugging Jugging Jugging Jugging Jugging Jugging Jugging Jugging Jugging Jugging Jugging Jugging Jug And the babababababababaza! What are you doing?
Let me just do the intro bazaars? Do we go to the brazoras? Let's do the intro and then you can be wacky and crazy. What about Bricker Brack?
Bricker Brack hasn't got a look in. Bricker Brack! Bricker Brack! Bricker Brack!
Chica Chica Jumble sale! Buh Buh Buh Bazar! Brr! What?
Welcome to Cheep Show! Thank you. Hey you and your fucking mood deposit. People love mood!
What? It's a fact that Cheep Show! Look at that! It's set!
On Google's website. Tell us what else it's on! E-like's website! Welcome to the show!
You know what's going on, Nuzall? Hello, yes, welcome to Cheep Show! Hello, yes! How are you?
How are you? I've been a little bit under the weather. Oh, that's a surprise, isn't it? Unusual, isn't it, mate?
You're never under the weather. You, you're usually quite healthy, aren't you? I came down with a bit of the lergie last week. But I also went on the Crystal Maze experience yesterday.
Da da da da da da. Tell us about how you did that and you did that and you did that. You did that and you did that and you did that. I did three games for them.
Well, the only physical one? Yeah, that's the one I got the crystalline. Was it? In the physical game, yeah.
The only one I got the crystalline was the physical game. So who's so fat now? Alright, go on! You were back!
You were back! Because I had fun when I did it and I did a few physical games and by Christ they nearly killed me. Yeah, you did it when it was out when it was an angel. It was an angel.
Not too far we can do it with you. They've just recently, just the other day in fact. We were the first day of the new opening in the truck of Diro. Part of what used to be the truck of Diro.
In fact, it is where I used to be a Group A. It's in the Golden Nugget Casino, which is no longer the Golden Nugget Casino. It is now the Crystal Maze. What's exciting, isn't it?
It hasn't been closed for a while. So it was quite bizarre going and doing a Crystal Maze experience where I used to be a Group A. I just want it where it used to be a Group A. I had my little bow time.
Did you have a beard then? No. So you were all... It was a clean shave hard.
I was very young. Like a little bloody angel, didn't you? Yes. You all came to your table thinking it was innocent and honest.
I was. You weren't. How many dodgy deals did you? I know.
They really, you get done for that. Yeah. That's why you're not allowed to play yourself. And you're not allowed to go to any other casinos.
Oh, and by that group. Oh, great. It's quite very strict after all the corruption that was like a Grey Era in the late 60s. This is me standing corrected.
You're not. You're back at a mess. Faux off. Not a person.
I remember that guy. People want to hear about the sources. Well, there's been no sources. Let me just do the source report.
Did you do this like a bad money call bit monologue? Did you do the source report? Shut up. Any degree to me.
Any degree to me. Any degree to me. Do you want to hear the source report? Do you shit?
You're going to enjoy the source report? You should. You should. You're ready.
You're going to enjoy the source report. You don't. You're fucking like, I don't care. You're fucking like your show.
Hey, guys, the source report. Nothing to report. Then what's the point you're having the theme? You're going to just say this week that we know source report.
No, there is a report. The report is nothing to report. No, that's not a report. That is a report.
The report would be before the report. If there was no report, you fucking can't. No, that was no report. I'm sorry for calling your content.
It was fucking too early for that. And you spat. There's no need for that. I apologize.
I did the crystal base. Wait, what happened to the source report? That was it. It was not a report.
I'm sorry, Paul. There's no source report this week because there's nothing to report. That wasn't enough. You don't need a report to say there's no report.
No, but people still want to know that the source report is a thing. Like the bracket exists of source report. It was just happened to be empty this week. Well, again, you could have done that before.
I had the whole crystal shit. Well, there you go. What a waste of time. What a waste of time.
All right, anything else? Crystal base. That's it. I hurt my finger.
You get a crystal. Yeah. The one game I was like was at teething problems. The one game where I actually got the crystal, which was like a soft play maze where you had to get these batteries.
Oh, yeah. Bring it back. And I can't kill myself. Hurt my finger.
Oh, little boy, don't do that. Oh, it's a bit bruised. Nail is a nail. Oh, and then he goes, you've done it.
Get the crystal. And you know, they got the little slot. Little slice. No, crystal.
Well, it's a crystal. They forgot to erase it after the last lot or so. Oh. So he's like, you got a crystal.
You know what I mean? You did get a crystal. Yeah. Yeah.
I didn't get to get the crystal. That's really frustrating. That's really frustrating. Yeah.
Everyone else. That's just OK. It's like, blue balls. I've got crystal.
Crystal maze. Blue balls. I certainly did. Well, I have to shame.
Well, I did it. I won three crystals when I did it out of my four games. OK. I did three games.
Well, Crystal. So you did better than me. Yeah. And the one I was most embarrassed by doing was the laser grid.
Where they find lasers across the room. And you can read through it. Yeah. Like entrapments with Caffe Wiens.
See, the job. She doesn't. She doesn't know he fills these days. She's married to Michael Douglas and sucks this with old cock.
You know? Like an old person tries to blow up a blue. That's what it must be like when she gives it a socket. Is that the noise?
We've reached a peak with a new episode. I thought I'd be clever. And I'm lying my back and slide across the floor under all the lasers. Because I thought there's enough space.
And everyone starts shouting, stop, stop, stop. And they were like, what? You're all shouting, you're fat belly. I looked down and the fat belly was that close away from touching the green.
So I was like, stop it all in. Scooch the cross, grab the crystal, scooch back. It was not good. I was near tears.
But then how did you? I thought you lost. I didn't. I got the crystal.
I nearly set it off with my big fat thumb. Very sobering. And what I've had on SIDS made it fatter. So that's an automatic lock in that one, isn't it?
It is. When Joe did it, he got automatic lock in within like three seconds. But it was like, spider web, you have to climb the ropes and get the crystal with that ring and the bell. It's hard.
Literally. You run the zid. Clang, clang, clang. You're in.
You blocked it. The thing is, with that, your version, they had the space. There was like a place you'd go if you were locked in. Yeah.
And then you actually had to get bought out. That this, if you get locked in, you have to automatically buy them out. There's nowhere for them to go. Oh, really?
So you could end it with no crystals. You can't even. Yeah. Because soon you get lost to the crystals.
Yeah. But then you get miners crystals. He was saying, the guy was saying, your my second group ever. And the first one was on miners two crystals.
So how does that even work? Then if you win two crystals, you're even. And then you've got to win two more. You can't.
You've got to know you've got miners crystals going into the dome. Well, then so that means you can't go into the dome. We're not the fans. Turn off the fans.
Get out. Yeah. Well, we'll bring this up very quickly. I'll quickly have a quick round about this, because people pointed it out to us on Reddit, on Twitter, about channel five, sometime last week, as we record this.
They did a top two list shows. And they did. They actually have a show that they're promoting. It was a show, not just a meme.
It was an actual show. And here's what they came up with, apparently. Crisps, their top tier tier tier bullshit. We don't like tears.
We don't do tears. We don't do tears. We treat the scientists. We fucking have a score.
And sensibly. They're science denials. Yeah, it is. They go about feeling not by actual science.
They're like, I've got feeling. They're like, we're going to be doing this actually in research at Tim. He's a bit too deep to do. He's a bit too deep.
Fucking put some crisps in some fucking tears. All right, I've got to put quite a bit there. And also whilst you're down there, here's a blower. Wow.
That's what it's like. It's not. That is what it's like. It's like a channel five.
That's it. You've heard it here first. Fucking. Get some researchers in, youngins, and I'll fuck in the mouth.
Fuck it, hell. That's what the head of channel five is like. Is it? Yes.
But before we go into how utterly, utterly, random and fucking incorrect the tears are, Paul, can I just say, why? It was Dave was the first sort of erroneous a tear. And they all five of them. Dave didn't do a show based around it.
Channel five stretched out this fucking show. Is it all about crisps or just? Yeah. Perhaps celebrity's talking about it.
Oh, the scripts. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. The scripts, yeah.
I used to put skips on my exposed bin. And he'd still go sucky sucky. Yeah. And he would smell like prawn sandwiches anyway.
Yeah. I used to take a quaver and mash it up. Whoopee on air, like a poultice. Yeah, we go poultice.
He said it later, gentlemen. Congratulations. Thank you. Congratulations.
If you're playing the cheap show, bingo, you can now scratch you off the poultice square. Amplitude, poultice. Well, that was at school. We used to play thing called What's It?
Pocket, where I used to try and put them in your pocket as much as possible. Well, I used to stick in what Kevin's are so. I used to take a shoebox, yeah. A shoebox.
I tried to take some downlops out. Take my downlops out. Take your shit in the box. Take it into school and fucking sit at the edge of the playground just fucking smooing it around.
I used to give out sticky pringles at birthday parties, where I come in a tube of Pringles. Sticky pringles? No, it's a no saucy doing it. It's just like, it's a no special sauce.
It's a no saucy doing it. No saucy doing it. No pringles saucy. I used to eat Pringles.
I used to eat Pringles. I used to carefully deface the actual Pringle writing on the side of the tube to say sticky prings. Sticky prings sticky, sticky, sticky, a blue baro by the Pringles. Weak coconut flavour.
Anyway, let's do this fucking thing. On the bottom tier, they say humorously next to it. Don't come anywhere near me with these. Mini chedders salt salt.
Okay, beer and chedders I don't like. I like mini chedders. We're going to have to do mini chedders on the League of Christmas next, Paul. Yeah, I know.
I like them. Just going in with that knowledge. We haven't done that, have we? We've never done mini chedders.
No. What about chedders? I don't even know if I count them as a crisp though. It's not.
Yeah, true. We've done peanuts. Salt and shake. They're a great crisp.
Yeah, they're a novelty crisp. I like them. I like them. We're going to talk about them on the show.
They, for me, if you're going for like a plain crisp, they're not going to be a little salty crisp. It's the way that the salt's, you know what I mean? It's the way that you get the granularized salt. Not just an even coating but a pretzel salt.
Yeah, so it's like a little burst of salt, you know. It makes the whole texture of this. Nick, that's nice and spicy. And smith, square crisp salt vinegar.
All wrong. All wrong. That's a good solid solid. No, those are worse crisps anyway.
Mid to you. Who loops regular, monster muncha pickle, quavers, what's its chips sticks. They're all fucking great crisps. They're all fucking great crisps.
Pickled onions are, you know. Most of my pickle onions are one of the best sats of all the money. I've personally loved. I've always made this fucking list.
It's some fucking hits. 12 year old with his head full of memes. Head full of memes. Like that.
The gift that keeps on giving. Top tier, maybe you can understand who put this list together from the top tier. McCoury's regular. If you like our report on the scientific lowdown on McCoury's, and there's a few episodes ago.
There's a few episodes ago now, but go back to that episode and give it a little listen. Give it a little listen. We give you the rundown of what it gives you. We explain what McCoury's really is now.
And I'm talking about McCoury's those crisps. Cattle chips, the Alzheimer's vinegar ones. I said, I do, but I would have put them top tier. No.
Sweet, Thai, chilli, walkers and satan's. They're a good crisp again. And Tyrrell's salt is very salted. Oven crisp.
It's just all like all the posh ones. Got tier. Yeah. Walkers salt vinegar, Pringles original, and spicy hot Doritos.
Arter, arter shit. Spicy, chilli, heat, white heat wave Doritos. That's it. They're terrible.
Listen, if you listen in. And you see any more? I'd rather eat than Pringles. I'd rather eat your special sticky Pringles.
Well, let me with it. I'd rather just you take all the Pringles out and just come in as Pringles can for about a year and a half. See what happens then. Let's see what happens then.
You drink it. No, you slurp it down. It wouldn't be liquid with a straw. It'll be like some of it be powdery, some of it be half congeal.
No, I'd keep it full. I'd keep it regular. I'd keep it liquefied. I'd keep it warm.
I'd keep it. I'd just keep it. I'm in a jar. Shake it about.
I know you can't have it in a jar. I'd say you're a lava lamp. Spunky lava lamp. No, it's a pringles.
It's full of my never-were babies. It's maybe a Pringles jar. A Pringles tube. Yeah, but I'm going off on now, aren't I?
You've inspired me. You've always inspired me to come into something receptacle. No, it's fun, isn't it? It's fun to do it.
It's not fun. I think it's a lot harder to feel something than you think. Well, challenge accepted. Right, end this segment.
Alright, let's crack it up. Right, Paul. Yeah, I was thinking I could do the Price of Strike thing this week in the style of the Filthy the Dog music. Well, ladies and gentlemen, I don't know about you but I'm excited.
So let's hand over to Eli Silverman for one of his very special Price of Strike introductions. Take it away. Oh, what is it? It's the fucking Price of Strike.
Oh, who is it? It's the fucking Price of Strike. Oh, what is it? It's the fucking Price of Strike.
Oh, and that's right. The Dog. Beautiful. Wonderful stuff there.
Oh, challenging. Who is it? Urgent. I like it.
I love it. I'm going to give that a nice solid eight out of ten. Are you marking me? I can judge you.
You can judge me. And I will. I don't want to mark. I don't want to mark.
It's a good mark. I'll take it. So we've got Price of Strike, Paul. Yes, and that's right.
That's right. We're going to play a little bit of a special version. Ah, different little version. Basically what we do, we do the live show.
We do the live show version. We never really do it within the podcast. The live show version is where I just need to put them in order. Yeah, it's the cheapest, to most expenses.
It's a little recap of just the Price of Strike journey that we've been on with this game over the years, Paul. Let's just have a little recap. All right. I'll put some nice guitar music on in the background.
Now, Price of Strike started as a simple price guessing game. Just a simple game. Three items. Yeah.
And the other person would have to guess. A nice bit of fun. A spin guessing. The Price is right.
The Price is right. That was where we started those many years ago. Oh, thank you for making us over all the fact. A million pods.
I was like, Paul. Oh my god. A million listens. We've had a million downloads.
But a lot of those could just be one episode. Yeah. The 69 episodes. Yeah.
It still counts. We haven't made one million episodes. That would be better if we had one million episodes. Yeah.
So it's not like that. And then what was the first variation? Oh, I think it might have been the live one where we tried to do it live. We could do MTM.
Yes. So the classic Price of Strike is three items, three of all items. One of us has to guess the price is, and you get points from anyone how close you are. Yeah.
Simple times. Yeah. Then we did it live because live, you had the idea that live would work better if you just have a bunch of items and they rank them. And you just put them in a big row that you think from cheapest to most expensive.
Yeah. Visually. See what you've done there because you don't do the visual representation. Yeah.
Representation. That's a little way of doing it. And then what's the other thing? Well, the cliffhanger one.
There's a cliffhanger one. Yeah, we have the one. The cliffhanger one. The price of strike, which is a bit of fun.
You came around. So again, that's a bit on the popular Price of Strike game. And also the big borrow given one. Yeah.
It's most avant-garde found given which you cheated utterly on with your redefining what the very basic concepts in the English language give. Hey Bill, I'll check out these birds. Where did you nick that off? Me, I just made it out.
You know you didn't. You're thinking about it now. I bet it's off some episode of Boston. It's not though.
So shut your fucking mouth. Oh, you're Bill, I'll be looking these birds. I'm giving him the bird laser gentlemen. Oh, David Attenborough.
Look at this prehistoric dinosaur. I'm giving him the bird. Right. And then what else do we do?
That's all right. Yeah. So this is another variation. A whole new variation today.
Well, this is just a studio version. How's the pickles version? Oh, good. I'm going to call it Price of Strike.
Rag me off first. Rag me off. Rag me off. Genius.
There you go. So I'm going to give you four objects. You know, you're going to order. Let's get them out.
Let's get them going. Get them out. Get one out. Here's your first item.
What? Say what you see. It's lime green. Do you remember in the 90s?
Remember. Remember. In the 90s. This is a slap shop.
It is a slap shop. I like this. Slap shop. It's a vegetable chopping kitchen device.
Yeah. It allows you to finely chop things like garlic or onion in a space where it can't escape. It has a lid here and a space where the blades come down and you put your garlic or whatever in there. Put it on the table.
Slap shop. Slap shop. Is this actually branded slap shop? I don't think so.
It's got some kind of logo on the top. I don't know what that's right. It's lime green. I find that color extremely depressing.
Yeah. I don't know why. It's not exactly the same shape. You remember there was a time about a year period in the 90s where just this color, the lime green sort of got extremely popular for that.
I think it almost kind of rebranded the 80s version of that kind of. Because I remember shell suits, all those kind of colors. I know, but there was just one period. It was just like that green.
Yeah. Why did you make that noise for? I actually don't know. Weird.
You're losing it. Yeah. You need mental health professionals as well as something to do with your back. Anyway, so it's a slap shop.
I don't know what else to say. It's a bit of a sticky one, but I could actually use that. Well, you're not clubbing for me. I have to do this.
So. Hey, Bill, have you seen these birds? Hey. All at the perch on these mics down.
Hey. Aaron's not kids. Get in the lead. He showed me balls.
Right. Okay. So that's your first item. Now, here's the thing.
There is three points on offer per item. Obviously, you can get the price. Okay. And then 25p out all that kind of stuff.
That's still in there. But also, once all four out and you get in the right order, you get point for if they place in the right order. But then I guess the price after I've done the order. Yeah, you can do it in any order.
That's the best way to do it. But then I guess that now. Exactly. You know, that's fine.
But tonight's a little piece in good condition. You're going to get a bit of a wash. That's about it. Give it a wash.
Of course, there's a lot of spots on the bedroom that but where did you buy it? It was at second Andy, yeah. And I got it from Oxfam. Okay.
That's a good clue, because I have all the more price. Are you ready for your next item? I am. Really?
Give it out. Don't get it out. Here we go. This is an annual.
Yep. An annual is a kind of book. Yes, like a hardback magazine. They do one so one so year.
Usually one so year. Christmas time. Christmas. They usually sold around there because they make good Christmas presents.
Don't they did them for like comics and they also did it for TV programmes. And stuff for like, and this one in case, and points to top the pops. This is the Pops as we mentioned before, music show on BBC One, fans performing Chops. It's probably the biggest ever pop TV show, biggest pop TV show brand of all time.
Yeah. And it was an arfaire aisle. So can you name any of the earth themes from top of the Pops? There was The Wizard by Paul Hardcastle.
Correct. There was a whole lot of love by Led Zeppelin. Yeah. And I can't think of any others.
Yellow Pearl by Phil Linet. Really? Do-do-do-do-do-do-do. Lictronic.
Lictronic. Lictronic. We're at what period was that? Like mid to late 80s or whatever.
Okay. Maybe early, early, early, actually. Is that a hard castle? Yeah.
No! Ohhh. That's quite sort of... You know.
Yeah. No, no, no, 19. 19. No, no, no, 19.
Yeah. Yeah, double, double, double, double. Anyway, so, an annual, off top of the pops from 1981. And on the cover, no P-nose, so that's good.
That's a good, that's a good one. That's a good one. Don't be Harry of Blondie, who's dominating the photo space there. Yeah, she was hot.
She was hot. Lady of the time. So hot, amazing, amazing looking. And good singing, all right.
Just for that. Of course, I can you face me. So you can talk into the mic. All right.
Thank you. You've got Gary Neumann looking very blue. Yeah. Boney in.
Here in my car. Yeah. Boney in. Boney in.
That's interesting. Tony up down there. With their numbers, Rarl Rasputin, lover of the Russian Queen. Yeah, that's their best one.
And a bad, he re-fizz off, bad. Don't like that one so much. No. I do like their version of Sonny.
Right, you've got to do it there. Yeah. He's very quaff. Two, you think I'm sexy.
I am very sexy. And on the back. Oh, don't know who that is. Is that Olivia Newton John?
Yeah, Olivia Newton John and... Who is that? Oh, it's the Boomtown Rat. They are so shit.
They are shit. I don't know what the fuck is going on with that. What one does it literally? Well, somebody records out though.
You've got to charity shops. You've got to charity shops. It's literally swimming with like these Boomtown Rat symbols. You never know even existed.
Bob, you did another live, eh? Is it to raise money or so you could perform? I hit dog like Mondays again live. Also, I was at Latitude Festival.
And I heard this racket going off and I thought, that's shit. Who's that? I thought, it's the fucking Boomtown Rat. Shit band.
I'm sorry. Boomtown Crap's more like. You know what I mean? Yeah.
Boomtown Squits. Tinkle-Linkle Town Rodd. Anyway, it's a BBC Top of the Pops Annual. Who are these other cants as well in the Boomtown Rat?
No one knows. They look like some kind of fucking dwarf. That looks like Fergal Sharky. How small is that guy compared to the rest of them though?
They might be just very tall. He might be very far away. He might be your size. He's really short, man.
Can I be a Boomtown Rat? No. Yeah. Bob's like, you know, looks small people.
Looks like he's got his Yorkshire. Shut up. Oh, look, this is good actually. Yeah, it's got some good stuff.
You've got wings there. What should we do? It's play game where it's how many people? I can see the price there, Paul.
That's not from... That's not how much I pay for that. Let's play. No, it has about 20p of the entire cover.