In places where surgery and care are out of reach, babies like Christopher, born with a cleft lip or palate, all too often face a heartbreaking future. And you have the power to change that. Thanks to generous donors and medical volunteers, Christopher received free, safe surgery. It cost as little as $240 to spare a child like Christopher from Heartbreak.
All they need is you. Please go to giveasmild.ca to donate. Thanks for tuning in to the Real Women Chronicles Podcast. I am your international certified life coach, T.
Audra Taylor. The sole purpose of this podcast is to get you from where you are now to where you want to be. Yes, it's time to break chains and to get unstuck. Thanks again for joining in.
Let's begin. Hello, and thank you guys for joining in yet again. Another week of the Real Women Chronicles Podcast. I am your host.
I go by the name of coach T. Listen, guys, if you missed last week's podcast, podcast number 127, be sure to backtrack. I had a special guest, a dear friend of mine. I called him Dr.
J.D. He was on the podcast and he really, really motivated the listeners on the topic of dealing with toxic relationships. If you guys know, like I know, sometimes dealing with toxic people, whether it's friends or a partner can be something that is a habitual type of thing that you constantly, you know, you get out of one toxic relationship and you jump right back into another one. So that podcast was really designed to break the chains of dealing with toxic relationships.
And I really believe that the Holy Spirit moved on last week's podcast. So if you haven't tuned into that podcast, be sure to check it out. But moving on. Okay.
I want to talk off the topic of don't lose yourself. Okay. That is what I entitled this week's podcast. Guys, forgive me if you hear me taking deep breaths here and there.
My lungs are still currently healing from COVID and just being in ICU last month. So I'm still in my healing process guys, but thankfully I can speak and I'm able to definitely still motivate you all, but I'm still healing. So keep your girl in and your prayers. Okay.
That being said, again, I'm talking off of the topic of don't lose yourself. Now, listen guys, if you are anything like I was, and I say was because it was definitely past tense, but if you are anything like me, you may tend to get in relationships and slowly lose yourself in the process, especially if you are a codependent or somebody that's just really eager for love, right? You become engulfed in that person. You know, you become fixated on how they feel, you know, when they're going to call or text you, you know, when you're going to see them, et cetera.
You know, here's the thing. We get, especially as women. I'm not going to say men don't go through this because of course you guys do, but I noticed that a lot of women will get in relationships and completely lose themselves. Their life that they had prior to that relationship becomes non-existent because they really, really spend the day, you know, thinking about this person is thinking about this relationship and what's going on in this relationship.
And see, here's the thing. We really want love so bad that we become a factuated with it or the potential of it. And we yearn for that consistency of that partner, right? That's the number one thing that many of us women always want, be included, consistency.
And whenever we don't get that in the process of losing ourselves in this relationship, it has the ability to throw our entire day off. And you guys know what I'm talking about. I'm talking about when you have that person that comes into your life and you begin to really, really slowly lose yourself in that relationship. And the one day they step out of routine, it throws you off.
And this is because you've lost yourself, right? You've become addicted to that validation that that person brings. So when they no longer send that morning text, it throws your day off because now you are really addicted to that contact. And I'm sure many of you out there are saying, no, I want to consist of me and absolutely we all do.
But we also understand that life can create circumstances that make you inconsistent, at least for a day or so, right? And when it does, the question is, are you strong enough to stand on your own validation? Are you strong enough to rely on you and not that other person? See, whenever we place that much power in a relationship, we really set ourselves up for failure.
We really do. And let me tell you why, because first, we begin to put too much weight on the partner to keep us happy, to continuously validate us and to keep us feeling whole. Secondly, we don't put enough weight on ourselves. And what I mean by that is enough weight to make ourselves happy, to be our own company at times, right?
To give yourself your own validation. That's probably the worst thing that we do when we get into relationships at times is that we forget about the weight that is ours to own and no one else's. It's not your partner's responsibility to keep you happy, honey. It's your responsibility to keep you happy.
And it's your happiness that you are assigned to protect. We truly get into relationships at times and we forget about ourselves. We forget about the hobbies that you enjoyed and we forget about. We even put our friends aside at times and we'll stop hanging out with them.
We push all of these things aside and wonder why it's hard to move on when the relationship dissolves itself. And being a life coach, I can assure you, it's harder for a person to move on when they have lost themselves in that relationship. When they have become, when that partner has become now your friend because you're not spending time with your girlfriends or your homeboys no more. So now that partner has become your everything, your life.
Okay. Your hobbies are no longer your hobbies. Your hobbies became your hobbies. And then if something happens to the relationship, you don't know where to go because your life and your value has been attached to this partner in that relationship.
Your life was the relationship. And when that relationship ends, I promise you, it's so much harder to move on when you've attached so much of who you are to that relationship. Listen, even in a marriage you should hold, you should have part of you that you hold sacred. You should have a part of you that's not attached to a partner, even in a marriage.
You should have a part of you that is about you, whether it's hanging with your friends, whether it's certain hobbies that you enjoy, maybe your partner doesn't enjoy it. That's fine. But you keep that. Listen guys, I remember times back in the day that I lost myself in relationships and didn't know where to go when that relationship ended because I tied every single thing.
I did. You know, I attached it with this person. And so you get out of the relationship and now you have to find yourself again. And depending on how long you spent in that relationship really depends on how long it will take you to get back to yourself and how foreign it will feel.
You understand? You have to understand this as well. A lot of times we get into these relationships and we forget that that partner actually admired that life that you were living prior to them. Remember that many times partners come in and they listen to what we do and how we have to find and the people we're associating with and they admire that independence about you.
That's why they like to be in the first place. And somehow you get in a relationship and you forget that part. That's a lot of pressure on some people. And I'm going to be honest with you for the people that want you, for the partners that come into your life that want you to forget about your goals and your hobbies and your friends.
I can assure you that that's probably not the partner that you're going to want to end up with. You want somebody secure enough to allow you to still have a life. Remember, that's what got them in the first place. We often forget that and then we get into the relationship and our whole life becomes theirs.
Listen, sometimes that's too much weight for people. Some people, I have spoken with partners that are like, listen, I want them to go out. Why are they always dependent on me? Like I want them to still do the things and have the hobbies.
But sometimes we become so eager for love. We become so eager for that validation that once we get a hint of it, we just, oh man, it's just like a magnum and we just stay fixated on it. And that is not what I want you all to do. I want you guys not to lose yourself.
Don't forget that you have your own individual purpose in life, your own individual purpose. And if you lose yourself in somebody else, your nine times out of ten, you'll be putting us out of your purpose that needs to be fulfilled because it's bigger than you, it's bigger than your partner. Each one of you guys have your own individual purpose. Don't forget that.
And you can't become so fascinated with the fact that you're in a relationship and you want marriage or you have this marriage that you forget that you also have a purpose. And you have this man who doesn't create us just to sit here and have fun and be in relationships and just float through life. No, he created each and every one of us with a purpose. Don't lose that.
And most of all, don't gain a partner and lose yourself in the process. What's the benefit of that? You have this man or woman in your life, but you've lost yourself. You will never feel fully fulfilled when operating like that, operating off balance.
Don't lose yourself. Okay? That being said, that concludes this week's podcast. Guys, if you are in need of life coaching or relationship coaching, be sure to log on to my website, the RWC podcast.com.
Go ahead and click on the coach with me tab. Shoot me an email or brief explanation of what you need. And I'll be sure to get back to you also. The breakup to break through journal is on that website as well.
Make sure you cop yourself a copy. Okay? That being said, let's close out and pray your father. God, I just thank you for allowing us to touch and agree today on the topic of not losing ourselves, father.
God, I pray that you be our comforter, father. You be our leader, father. God, and you help us to stay fixated on the purpose that you've bestowed upon our lives, father. God, and not allow anything or anybody to come into our lives and distract us from our assignment, father.
God, we pray that no weapon formed against our purpose, our lives, the lives of our family members, shall prosper, father. God, we pray for your protection, father. God, we pray for your guidance, father. God, we pray for your forgiveness, father.
God, and we pray for clarity, clarity. Sometimes God, we just need clarity on our goals, father. God, sometimes we need clarity on the people that we've attached ourselves to, father. Give us clarity, father.
In the name of Jesus Christ, we pray. Amen. Until next week, I love y'all. Bye.