Ep 137 Deconstructing Sobriety Birthdays and AA Sober Time

Welcome to our sobriety birthday party podcast. Today September 29th I'm 16 years sober and Carrie (here's her Substack) turned 26 years sober on September 17th, the day we recorded this. You're in for a fun treat as we unpack all the sobriety birthday and sober time things.In this candid convo, Carrie and I unpack the status game around sober time, the shame of “starting over,” why slips don’t erase growth, and what feels actually worth celebrating now. If you’ve ever felt weird about chips, countdowns, or announcing your sobriety date, this one’s for you.We explore:What sobriety dates measure—and what they don’tThe difference between early-days momentum vs. long-term identityHow purity culture sneaks into recovery languageAlternative markers of progress (health, boundaries, critical thinking, purpose)Harm-reduction openness and letting people choose what works for them00:00 Intro deconstructing sobriety birthdays and AA sober time1:04 Carrie's sobriety birthday feels06:26 Rethinking slips, relapses and changing sobriety date10:36 AA conference slipped alcohol16:02 Rigidity around sobriety birthday announcements21:39 What does a sobriety birthday actually measure?23:04 Does drinking actually "erase" sobriety time?31:04 Why anchor to an old bad habit?36:59 Sobriety date becomes new birthday40:18 Sobriety birthday parties47:37 How long does it take to deprogram?55:18 Sobriety time "status" game57:27 Coerced into marketing AA via sobriety chips1:07:52 What feels relevant to celebrate now?1:17:22 Do sobriety birthdays matter?1:24:20 Sober time hierarchy + countdowns Carrie's Substack: https://carrieengland.substack.com/🪩 Get fee tools, community, Zooms and book club to deprogram 12-step ideology 📚👉 Inside the Deprogram Lounge click here.💬 Let’s Connect @SobrietyBestieDM me or comment on any Sobriety Bestie socials. I’m here for the conversation.Let’s get f*cking free.