Right, can you hear me though? I can hear you, yes. Hello Paul! Hello Eli!
I need to maybe up front. Okay. Make a parental guidance warning. Yeah.
Right. We always say cant that stuff. I know, but there's stuff that is coming up in this world. Leading genitals?
Vomit in genital holes. No! I'm trying to think what? There's a hole involved in one of the things we're doing today.
I just went, I'm just like, I'm fucking going. No, you're not. Because you can't work the door to get out for a start. Well, perhaps you should tell them where we are today.
Why does sound so professional? It might not be. It sounds very, um, it's got a keeps treating it. That's why I'm treating it.
So hopefully not a lot of reverb. We're recording in so-hooray. But I wanted to put a warning out that there's some content in this episode that maybe it may be a little, we might be pushing our look. We might be pushing our look.
We have a tales from the shop floor that I'm not completely sure I'll keep in this episode. But this is might be talking to no one. We might be talking about that. This episode, if you're one of our younger listeners, you might want to be careful.
If you're if you're upset by certain younger listeners, we've had a little gungalist like 14, 15 year old get into the show. I think you need to just generally, Paul. I mean, there's a warning set outside the pocket. That's like, that's like, that's like, yeah, go on.
Hello, Paul. Don't you think that just generally, maybe we should put like an 18, hang on our pocket? Every episode that one of the many days that has a extreme content thing you have to put on. Okay, so why is this super extreme?
It's just, I'm just bracing the big boohaws. Is it? No, but now I want to see something going to actually be yours. Um, no, I'm just saying there's some content in this episode.
Of course. Please. Please. I've only had four, three hours of sleep.
I'm gonna go back into the podcast. Oh, right. So I'm just gonna say that there's some comment in this bit that might be a bit stronger and a bit more adult and extreme than usual. All right.
Strong meat. If I put it up at the front now, show me the strong meat, then people can check out. Excuse me. I heard I can get strong meat here.
Yeah, well, you can get strong meat. Do you want? I want to fucking hardly strongest meat. You can fucking throw up out.
I've got oxcock. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's a strong meat. How many yards of it do you want?
Two yards. Two yards. We can do 10. We switch them all together and form one big mega oxcock.
Right. Paul, so that was good. Thank you. Let's curtail that.
All right. Let's go. Let's go. Now.
We're back in the metaphorical butcher shop. My wife wants to use it as a traffic scooter. Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Oh, she was a user. Oh, I fucking hope so. Welcome to Cheep Show. Hey, you and your fucking mood that posse you.
I'm not going on. No, no, no. Yes, it's the economy. Comedy podcast.
We go through the charity shops. Bizarre. Poundlands, thrift stores, discount, soup, company, stuff. And Jumblecell.
Jumblecell. Jumblecell. Jumblecell. On the UK beyond and deliver it to you to say, hey, look, stuff.
Here's some chat. Here's some chat. Let's have some more. It's hot in here.
What might that out? Right. So hello, Eli. How are you?
I'm okay. Not so long. You didn't want to hear it. No, no, no, no.
I'm just one of those niceties. Yeah. Fine. No, go on.
How are you? I'm just a bit type or. Let me two. It's been a long DJing weekend.
It has. For us both. In many similar and yet very different ways. We've both been working in the DJing side of the industry.
You are mixing fattunes for dance club success. Yes. Whereas I'm mixing hot topics for chat show wonders. Okay.
There you go. And I had a guy call up the station last night. Yeah. And goes, why are there so many blacks on your station now?
And I had to explain that because it's BBC London, which has predominantly been a largely white station for years. It's now trying to reflect more on. How do you know they're blacks? It's an audio format.
Because to the guests we had on. How'd that happen in sounding night? Well, they did actually for a start. And also they worked in art and textiles, which had an African inspiration.
And so they want to talk about that one. I won't say. They've got one program about some black people. Well, not even that.
It was a chat show, as per usual. We are guests come in. They do news stories, right? Yeah.
So for most of the show, they do news stories. Right. At the very end, they go, what are you working on? They say this.
Right. The minute they start talking, this guy calls on. I'm sick of hearing all this black stuff on the radio. How many people have called in to talk about this stuff?
No one. Get him off. I was like, you don't realise that BBC London is trying to reach out now to the communities that make up London, which isn't white people by large. Yeah.
So for a few seconds and evening, they put it into a mall. You know, did you have to be polite to this fucking people? I started off polite. And then at the end, I said, Mate, I've just spent 10 minutes of my life explaining something I shouldn't have to.
To an adult. Yeah. Fuck off. And then he said to me, you're almost like, I don't even know what colour you are.
And I went, you're right. I'm going, fuck you. Mate, no, fuck him. Is this open fucking racism?
Like, quite questioning you. It's like, they know me. The BBC have an agenda to put more voices. You know, and I don't think it's all.
Well, they do need to know what they're saying. Everyone in the country don't know. That's kind of the BBC. Especially BBC London, which has to reflect it's demographic.
Yeah. So a few hours of every day, made most of the evenings, it's, it appeals to all the cultures, you know? You should have to be with fucking that. You shouldn't have to defend that.
No, exactly. That's why I got annoyed. I was spending 10 minutes of my time explaining to him. And I wasn't even listening.
He was too busy to fucking eat at the time as well. And that was the best off. Let's just crack on with the show. We're going to start by saying this.
We didn't have a guest. The various reasons the guests couldn't make it today. Just things that happened. So we had mentioned that.
Did I mention that? No, it was a poo poo incident. No, it was not a poo poo incident. There was a poo poo incident with the guest and a horse.
No, I'm not besmirching this guest. Maybe listening and go, I'm not con on the show now, man. I'm not going to fucking go on an in-leash or he. Or he.
You fucking idiot. The point is they couldn't make it. And that was fine. It was the last minute snafu.
That's a ditch. That's one way poo. That's a ditch. All that content.
So we're doing ad hoc. We're doing ad hoc. We're doing ad hoc. Good.
With that in mind. Tails from the shop floor. This. So when we did digitalised live, right?
Lots of people came up with lots of stuff for the show. So we're using today's movie, which we've used in the past. Which we will end up using in future episodes, right? We've got loads of swag for the poo.
Lots of swag. So we'll be touching on the next couple episodes. But one person came up to me. And I don't know if he wants anoniminit.
Anoniminini. Anoniminini. Anonimini. Anonimini.
Right. I got. You know what? A lot of people say to me, Paul, which I thought was quite interesting about digitised live.
Yeah. That fat sow. Whoever was doing that. Stop fucking pedaling that.
Jesus wet me. It's really good, apparently. I don't know, man. Who does it?
Because they're, you know, the classy. It's classy. Who wrote it out? Everybody like who wrote it out?
Shut up. Oh, one day. You've got to go behind those bins and see fat sound up there. And instead, there'll be a giant replica zippy puppet.
And you're going to have to make it work. I can do that. I fucking would love to see that. Why do you mean you talk over a rebooted rainbow?
Oh my god. My dream. You could be zippy. That would be my dream.
But we take over the rainbow. Yeah, but an adult version where bungle's an absolute maniac. Yeah. Do you know what, Paul?
Who what? We should cover rainbow on Cheap Show as a sort of little. Yeah, but you know the problem is I don't want this show to necessarily become on a style just podcast. OK.
The remit has always been. Whenever we give it up, whatever an idea for this show, I don't know. Just get shot down whilst we're doing it. Here's me digging a little hole for it.
Right. Here's a little idea. I'm digging a hole for it. I'm going to make the idea dig its own hole.
Right. What'd you do with it? How can an idea dig a hole? It's a word play.
OK. And then I'm going to pop a bullet in the back of the idea of the and then put it in the whole it's still stuck. Oh, that idea is dead. That idea is how it does it.
My dream is always big with the fishes. My dream is always big with this podcast. We can only tackle stuff if we get it in a cherry shop or get it as part of the show. Ah, ah, ah.
Yes, Paul. Yeah. What was that last thing you said before? You said the stuff I didn't want to hear?
A cherry shop. Yeah. If we find it in a cherry shop. I have.
Yeah. Cherry shop found rainbow record which we could do on the fingers. Fine. Then we can include it.
But I don't want it to become anything goes on a style of your podcast. Yeah, we can talk about stuff when we come across it alright in charity shops bizarre's jumble sales powerlands discount stores and Supermouse supermouse Major mouse mighty mouse they're good. Hey all the my CEO's never did super mouse. They might have been a super mouse super dot Tails on the shop floor.
So I'm ready again. You can't shop maple I haven't read this email, but I do not the story is because he told me at the live night, okay? After the divisizer, okay, so I'm gonna put out a very very very honest caution about the content of this story alright With our mind. Okay, are you ready?
I'm ready. I've got my big one. Hello Paul and Eli long time Listen the first time contributor my name is Oliver and I work as a police officer for a force in Wales fine He's put in the email. It's now public knowledge.
Hello Oliver. I if you get fired after this does he do so what does he do? Is that a bad lieutenant in this story? Yeah?
Shombi Rass But there's a bit we go show me your ass yeah The story I Was gonna apologize for you. Oh fuck anyway He says he's worked as a police officer for around three years. Okay, the story I have you today happened only three days into my not so storied career and it's quite frankly one of those harrowing experiences of my life so far Okay, this is your last chance to show up ten minutes in the shop pocket is this kind of but he's talking shop because he's on the job And I said you know, we'll see how he goes again This is your last chance to skip forward ten minutes or so the podcast if you want to here we go It was around eight in the evening August 2017 the song was still up and I was in a marked police fan in the company of my tutor constable who've been showing me the ropes I don't know why it's looking like I'm nearby to the station There was a street framers for its rampant drug dealing and prostitution. Let's patrol the area What city is in city?
It's just as somewhere near Wales So we'll keep it vague okay, so we don't recommend a certain part of the town for people to go in debates themselves All right nearby to the station is a famous degree here So let's patrol the area my tutor constable explains knowing full well that by patrol he means look for trouble and get me to deal with it That's great, isn't it not too long on the job and the person with you let's drop him in at the deep Well, you know trial by fire you do I do but you know what still They got no how to do the job eventually you know the old Bobby you know the old Bobby Oh Bobby, you know the old Bobby what the fuck did he used to live he used to live in company by one blue away What let's be having you nine nine nine let's be having you Broke the set oh shit, it's all right. It's all right. It's a fucking soundproof since coming down on me Yeah, I just I could do someone a mischief. Oh well.
What does he eat though when he's in at home? Let's be having you do that what do we need to be having you Irish to you? You Irish to you you you you you you you you you you you I missed you. Oh, I caught you stealing a picamics from the local corner shop I'm gonna cuff you around the ear and it's a truncheon your head the old British Bobby the pillars They speak all peelers as well.
Why because of Robert Peel you founded the Metropolitan police. I did not know that yes Why do they call Bobby's I'm not sure but it's related. He's got Robert Peel. I believe we come from so it could be Bobby peelers Yes, I think they'll call Bobby Peelers.
Oh, I'm Bobby Peelers. I mean I mean So great my development is the usual excuse to see the officers make by forcing a young probationer to take on the worst jobs They force and that's part of the you know, yeah I get it a bit of a hard-noting to reality, you know friend of mine I think when he was trained to become a police officer to help fish a woman out of the nursery Fish when you said it's a rave always after fish and work trying to think of something we'd verb to fish someone because the body was floating And when they lifted it out the body was with all the crabs and horrible stuff. It was cramps got me over a day Let's out of it. Okay, okay, and the story about to tell is worse than that I don't know if it works But I'm just put if I put that up front.
Well, here's my nice police related anecdote Yeah, when I was in primary school that would down in North West London Yeah, there was a thing called the police panda quiz and it was a competition between primary schools But you learn all about the metropolitan police. Mm-hmm So there was a quiz element on that right and also the highway code right there was a quiz element on that Yeah, and you played in teams before against another school very much like a bit for university challenge, but for kids Yeah, and I was on the team. I was good. I was the top player We've got what we've got by a my the posh schools in house.
Oh, there's always one There's a little and there's a policeman who ran the experience WPC WPC I can't remember a name that she was a Bobby peelers and there was a little girl with a dog face and gospel out primary who I love That's my that's a nice story. That's not cramps coming out fucking dead Are you saying we use enough a police officer who came to our school once a year to put on puppet show and Strangers and did he live in let's be having no, but the puppet I remember being one of those horrible, you know The film magic with Anthony Hopkins and his puppet one of those horrible ventriloquist toys This keeps coming up all because I was looking at something today. Yeah, and it was On some social media feed but it was like a photo Do you know there was a ventriloquist dummy as a toy craze in the end of the senses? No, I did not know that we should look into It was a craze for them.
So they'd be mass produced these horrible nasty sort of people bought them and they stick in the living room and they end up in the attic Yeah, I'm scaring generations of people's like when you got to get old ball game out that dog Hello and popkins And the guy himself was a bit of a scowls, you know, like I don't have everybody word here talk about stranger don't you? But where reason the voice you picked for the puppet had a stutter Why makes the message like that? Why he's a weirdo Kids Anyway, as we slowly drove down the street keeping an eye on the local undesirable something My eye a small park car next to the local convenience store I can see what looked like a female up against the wall and a male who seems to be mounting her right leg That's just Cheryl my tutor constable said go check on her make sure she's okay I looked at the exit of the car and make my way up to the dark corner by in the car park I got closer it became more evident that this male had his trousers down and was rampantly humping Cheryl's leg Now, there's one thing that really spoke out to me at this point Something Turn away pum would say hello anyway I remember forever the smell oh god the smell as I drew closer They were just smell of rotted flesh, but only got stronger as I drew near again I hope you're skipping as part of the podcast a rotted meat smell with a hint of what I could only try and describe as a teenage Come sock that's been talked away over the bed only to be discovered six months later. We've all been there before been there But for the record yeah, I did not have a bogey shelf I may have had a come-sock.
I never had a bogey shelf. That sounds like a great country western lyric Oh down on the river I had me come shine and me a bogey shelf That's it I'm glad oh my cum socks will crisp end the morning, but I tell you I ain't never had no bogey shelf It's a beautiful song I Won't me between me may not have a snot shelf, but I've got a cum rag Yeah, that's yes, I did it better. No, you didn't as I approach the male he noticed me and withdrew immediately pulling up his trousers He then dumped over a wall before making off Like I share what been going on to it she shouted fuck off wanker. Okay fair enough She lives on the streets maybe it looks like she's you know got a hard shell She's doing a job that she probably doesn't want to do it's got a hard shell You know emotional hard show protect herself from the way the world trauma That's when I look down and saw it on her right calf there was a big gaping necrotic hole Like the inside of her leg just rotted out leaving a perfectly sized recess for the average male genitalia What been going on and also the sort of that horrific smell that I'm trying desperately hard to the hospital she needs to go to the hospital Well Well, I've become increasingly unreasonable and we eventually end up having to arrest her and bring her in my due to a constable Inform me on the journey into this intercussity that she sells out her leg to men who will pay a 20 pound for the privilege What on earth is this what it's a half fucking like Yes, it's true.
Yes, and he's a police officer and providing this is true And he's not just making this shit up. Oh, but to be fair I've got friends within policemen and police women who have told me stories worse than this Shocking hop they see awful shit. We don't realize that all the media attention that please get about not being on the streets or not delivering Or whatever whatever whatever a lot of people out there who deal with an incredible about bullshit every fucking night Yes, and see some horrible shit and put it with stuff that mean you hopefully never have to deal I would not want to deal with that so you know, what it's you know, I can imagine this is a whole kind of a Like a gallows humor when you work in dark dark topics gala's humor. Yeah, yeah They make fun of it or they make light of it or they're religion about it Yeah, you get fucking through the day.
Yeah, so you know, it makes us obviously I mean look deeper What is human for at the end of the day? What is it for? What is it for? It's a distraction from the the inevitability of our Moltanist and it gives us little little humorous surprises that shocking they light us, you know I could joke should be a surprise.
Oh, I mean have a concern Maybe 20 and they all them to the shed and I rent them out for a penny But I tell you please don't make this the thing you do for all the episode tell you one thing and you never done and that's had a Moggy show He's at it. I mean it doesn't get worse. It's a bit more to go So they'll pay you 20 pounds the privilege it was something of a novelty and people have been known to come for the country to fuck Cheryl's leg I imagine having that reputation. No, you need to get it seen to you can't and then you know what you got to wash it out I'm gonna die the thing is if you have that you like the film crash.
Yes, there's probably a bit of that going on people I'm not Shop that it's a thing that people might want to do. Yeah, it's just you can say yeah detail of this Anyway, they're in the back of the van they're going all the back of the car They're going to the corsety for up the journey Cheryl could be hurt Cheryl could be heard laughing and farting loudly in the back of the van I'm all right We're located or discover that she had shit herself and who do you think had to escort her into the unit? Of course it was me the stench was so bad the staff inside the corset unit and the other prisoners waiting to be put to it I'm able to resist retching Through the floor which only edits my misery many thoughts cross my mind How do I stop her from flicking feces on me? How do I get this job?
Why are people paying to have sex with a rotted leg? After the whole ordeal and then Cheryl's place into a cell I decided to duck into an unoccupied cell and treat myself to a vomit This horrific incident and back doesn't apply into the world of placing I still do enjoy the job for the most part However, I do often dream of the comfy office. I want occupied Wow a place free of shit rotting legs and puke Thank you that that was some strong people I told you didn't I that is that what we did What we started doing these things it was just I thought I'd be using sounds about being in a charity shop That's where the bag of dirty oddies in but then like it's grown it's become a festering necrotic leg wound for fucking Yeah, but it doesn't make you realize that there are people who work in these professions who put with stuff that again Me and you never have to fucking deal with hope we so this is always shocking at the same time Like fuck the people like here. Yes to deal with it because I don't have to yes And that's your tail so the shop floor.
Let's crack on with the show And now it's time for Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do the sauce report You can't do the sauce report why not because this isn't a report. This is this is hot sauce experience the others Oh, you're all right. I'm taking all but I forgot there was a slice of pointless difference between the two Okay, so can I do that just introduce it Paul and then I'll pass it over to you Okay, because you've sourced this week's sauce. How funny.
Okay. Hello. Welcome again to Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do hot sauce experience go on then you fucking know I have got the I need something for the hot sauce experience Bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow. It's hot sauce experience.
Oh Wow, wow, wowslow how now Wow wow wow wow wow. Wow. Wow. Wow.
Damn. Wow. Wow wow wow wow wow wow Wow back up Yes, that's a bit rocky. Yeah.
Good pull, but I'm even sitting when I got my mouth She never says that she never says you know what I'm tired of this You tired me up Paul Booker. Right, so what's happening in the hot sauce experience this week? So this week, this is a digitized, alive, sourced section because after the show, I've got so many bags given to me of this, that and the other, and I lost track of who was giving me once and put notes in. But thank you very much.
We do enjoy. We do. Now we love our noodles, we love our hot sauces, and we have been given a very, very broad range of hot sauces to deal with today. So I'm going to basically be your section.
I've done all this stuff next to you. I want you to explore, and we're going to taste, I am not looking forward to this just for the record. Now Paul, I've got three quid. I think whoever gave you these must work for this firm.
You think? Because I didn't say so. Maybe they just went on holiday to Devon and bought a lot of stuff for the issue. So this is all of the sources we are going to be tasting today, Paul.
Yeah. Are from a company called Dartmoor Chilli Farm. And again, this is not cheap, probably. So this is us going off book somewhat.
But again, I had to throw the content off the show. I wouldn't be cheap. None of this would be the cheap. I mean, it's cheap for us because we didn't have the pain.
It's free. And we have a hot sauce to be in sex with the show. So we're wiggling it into the square hole. They grow over 100 varieties.
Jalapeno, KN, Scotchbonnet, Narga, Chili's in the UK. You certainly can. He knows. In Paul's tunnels.
Yeah, it's vagina granny, chilli. Is that like Sheryl's hole in a leg? I've got some lovely chilis growing in my fucking necrotic hole. A Sheryl scorcher.
Right. If you skip forward by the way, to the parcel of the show, that's not mentioning the necrotic fuck hole. I'm just saying I'm sorry. Handmade chili chutney, jam sauce is chili oil and award winning chili chocolate, which we've got some of that as well.
So we'll taste that. But they've given us a whole range of products and some sources, Paul. And I thought the way to do this would be to start with the, because they have a hotness as rating scale on the back of these sources. So we're gonna start with the mildest.
Okay, so they don't ruin the flavour that way, just you know what I mean? Before I forget, a weird thing happened. You know we did that losing our gold source, the thing from France, yes, the source reports, yes. So I got this weird, I don't know how to put this, I got this weird email.
And I thought it was sent to me by accident. And I think we might just look for it. Okay. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, it's Paul's checking his emails on.
Right, so I get this email. And it feels like I've been copied in because it's from an email called Store Dab When, Store Dab When, store Dab When. And they got into a company called Pooka But Pepper Corn. Okay.
Right? The Home of the World's Hotest Pepper, the Carolina Reaper. Yes. And they sent an email to this company, Coppodilson that says, so I just heard Louisiana Gold is a hot pepper, linked to that episode.
As a previous customer of the Carolina Reaper seeds some pure, I now feel cheated if it turns out that Cheatshow has gotten hold of something hotter. And I was like, it wasn't hot. It was a basket. I don't think we ever, any point go, that's the hottest sort of other try.
I'm pretty sure we didn't say that to Basko Peppers. Yeah. Which are what, to Basko's brands uses as well, which is not the hottest, but have a distinct flavor. Yeah, that's the most important.
I don't think we, any point we went, oh, that's the hottest thing ever. Because it's, it's, it's simply wasn't. But anyway, tell you what, it was hot, Paul. Two times spicy, Sam Young, hot chicken ramen noodles.
I've decided to pretend that not many more. Again, it's fun for me. So, so the company at Pooka Butte, oh, Pooka, Pooka, Pooka, Pooka, Pooka. Oh, that's what he fucking all to say.
He's doing nice. Stupid Americans. Look out, I'm gonna make a company go, Pooka, Pooka, Pooka, Pooka, Pooka. Hey, come here, Pooka, Pooka, Pooka, Pooka.
So they were, Pooka, Pooka, Pooka. They were, ah, Pooka, Pooka, Pooka, Pooka, Pooka. He sound like a fucking chicken. Shut up.
I meant it. Right, so, shut up. I'm menacing, I like a chicken. What?
Pooka, Pooka, Pooka, Pooka, Pooka. That's the fucking punch. Come over here. We're in public, right?
We're listening filmed. Look, Decca. Right, so then Pooka, Pooka, Pooka, Pooka, Pooka. Staff, email back to the sculling and says, hello, they probably do not have anything hotter.
We still hold the record for the world's hottest pepper. Which is the Carolina Reaper. Yeah. And this is just, I just feel like we've been drawn into it.
I'm arguing with that. We wouldn't do it. What we'd do is, we didn't say it was the hottest. It's a basically, it's a bass-owned clone.
It's Pooka, Pooka, Pooka, Pooka, Pooka, Pooka, Pooka, Pooka. Which they're not. Send us some. We'll be the judge of that.
We'll be the judge. With that in mind though. Paul, we're here to take the judge, some of the sources which are offered by the Dartmoor Chili Farm. Now, I've got an opinion about British-grown Chili.
Oh, okay. Delicious on the whole. Delicious. You put it on the whole.
The necrotic pipe. Stop it. Well, you got to put your hot chili right at your bum hole on a fishing line. I'm going to pull it out right before you jack it.
It'd be fine. That'd be fine. Fine thing to do. Now, I'm looking at the ingredients.
Yeah. What's this one first then? The first one where we're going from the least hot. Now, I'm not liking this already.
Why? I'm looking at the ingredients. You know what? The first ingredient in this vinegar.
This chili sauce is vinegar. No. Water. Apples.
Apples. Why is that a bad thing? I'm like, is it even in there? It's just like a sweet note, isn't it?
It takes the edge off. Yeah. But that's fine. It's a low heat.
It's a little bit too low with it. Sugar. It's a third one. Yeah.
So here's the thing that's about the peanut. It's an industry standard for heat. You see that thing on the side that says all it's very low heat. How is that measured against?
It's own gas. I know. I'm not going to do that. I'm going to do that.
Okay. This is one or two. Joe's the technical dream coat. Shut up, no-one likes this.
None of these go. The ghost of all the going live material. None of these goville jokes are here for me. Okay?
The sort up there. Nice point of reference. Give me a spoon. I got three there.
If they all have apple juice or whatever in, I'm gonna be disappointed. This is their mildest one, which is more of a sort of BBQ. What's his name? It's called Dartmoor Smoke Chili Sauce.
I think it's basically, he's going for sort of BBQ rather. It's both BBQ rather than an actual chili. Okay. That's a lot of off.
It's got a nice smell. Very vinegary. Very vinegary. I'm just going to put a little bit on your spoon.
I'm going to put some of this on my spoon. It does have a, almost a hate-to-be-saucy kind of smell. Fruity. Yeah, yeah.
Not a problem. Here we go. Oh, that's very tangy, like tangy sauce. That's a burger-y kind of relative.
It's got actual bits of apple. I didn't get any bits, but apple pulp. It's definitely not hot. It's nice, isn't it?
It's got a bit of a tingle. But it's not that's nice. It's on a barbecue. Like on a bit of barbecue meat.
It's not going to be delicious. Nice and sharp. Yeah, yeah. Exactly.
That's what I thought. Like on a chop. That's not very minimal heat. Very much.
It does say so, so fair enough. Okay, so we go for the next one. The next one up. We've got like 20 fucking things to put it on.
Each one increasing in heat. Well, that's good. This room's fucking hot. Yeah, it's all right.
I'm going to take this off. The Fruity Carbon Yarrow is the next one, Paul. Fruity Carbon. That's my, uh, Shipti's name.
Yeah. Mine was Necrotic Far Car. Right. Right.
Let's see the ingredients on this. Peaches is the first ingredient. Strange. It's a flavour thing I think they're going for here.
So fine. Strange. Although, you know, I have tasted some sort of trendy jumping on the bandwagon sort of sources, which have kind of apples in and stuff, or tomatoes as the first ingredient, which were really mad bad, but that actually tasted quite nice. Probably interesting to see what they do with this.
So what's this called? How hot is it? Fruity Carbon Yarrow. It's up to medium hot.
Okay. Okay. Fine. I love it.
It's one of the fruitiest of the peppers and it's quite a hot pepper. Oh, it's got the hard pepper. It's worked. It's very similar.
Oh, I'm scotch bonnet. Yeah. You know what? I listened back to an episode and I was like, why are there so many characters and why can only do three accents?
Don't worry. Don't worry about that. What's the hoof? It's a delicious Harbonniero half-on on that bitch.
I know. I snipped the microphone then and not the bottom. That was weird. Sorry, I called the source of bitch.
Oh, yeah. It's similar to smell to all those other Harbonniero ones. Yeah. I'm going to pour myself a little bit out in the pouch.
Oh, it's a bit runny. It's very runny. It's chunky. It's got a marmalade you kind of look to it.
Yeah, that's it. They're fruit. They're fruit obsessed because it's just peach. It's a pich chun.
What's the taste saying? Let's go. Oh, it's very sweet. It's got a kick to the end of it.
Oh, that's the kind of thing I think you'd have with noodles or something. You know what it's similar to? It's a Thai sweet chili sauce. It's got that level of sweetness, doesn't it?
Yes, that's it. Like a sweet and sour almost. That's, again, it's very nice. It's almost, it's almost more orangey lemony than anything else.
That is. However, if that's only the medium heat, we've got problems. Yeah, because I know it's almost fucking lethal. Yeah, that didn't trouble me too much.
But again, we're just having it off. It's sugar is the second ingredient. It was very sweet. It was orange in there.
I'm glad I said it's cold. It's got lemon juice. That's tasty stuff. I would eat that on something.
I'd eat both of those on something. Which one of those would you have from an acro? I would have neither and I wish you'd stop saying it. I'm going to call this episode.
I'm going to call this episode. I'm going to call this episode. Please, Sam. After being all so, sorry, you don't have this to be so.
I know, I know, but let's not get into it. I know, let's not get into it. This episode is like triple X heart. One way or the other.
Okay. Now, this is the third of our Dartmoor teddy farm. Right. This is called goblin.
Oh, we all like a bit of goblin. They're not describing anything now. Now, is this going to be drier, I wonder? What's the heat rating?
It's just below hot. So it's sort of above medium, but not on their scale, not quite hot. Okay. And that was medium.
Although it has a kick. It was sweet enough that it offset that heat. It does not have a burn. First ingredient here, tomatoes, then apples.
Christ. When I stick anything else in, mango. It's like fucking fancy. This is like phantom madness.
Phantom madness. I discovered because I saw an update on the soda jerk episode. Oh, yeah. Phantom just seemed to be putting the word madness on random flavoured drinks.
Like it's one of those. Maybe it's a commercial. Yeah. It's a whole line of things.
It's a great madness. I found a chocote one. Yeah. It said madness.
Didn't say chocote. Dartmoor teddy farm goblin. There's a little goblin. It's a little goblin.
It's a little goblin. It's a little goblin. It's a little goblin. It's a little goblin.
It's a really nice. If you can find the right mill to have them with, they're all very complimentary. Yeah. Because something just goes, oh, it's heat for heat sake and there's very little point outside of shock.
What's the... You can taste the individual flavours all poking out and fighting each other. Do you see what I mean? That's low amplitude.
Yeah. Those other ones take high amplitude. I've been on this fucking road trip a few times. I know all the roots have stopped along the way.
So now we move on to their hotter ones. Those were all sort of a bit over sweet. But for your common or golden barbecue meal, pretty nice. Pretty nice.
Pretty nice. That's a bit of a chocolate. There's a chop or two. Definitely a lot.
Not that hot either. But that might all be about to change. Because this is extreme. Now this is like a novelty pack of stuff.
You get this in a little box. These are smaller bottles so you can't hurt yourself. Right. It's not more chilli farm.
It's the hottest one. It's the hottest one. It's the hottest one. It's a grainy chilli sauce used with extreme caution.
And there's a little sign on the side. What does it say? I couldn't see it. It's just insanely hot.
Okay. So that's going to be the hottest. Ingredients. Chilis 50% Carolina Reaper.
And that is the world record holder I believe. Habaneero Fertali and Habaneero Pepper. Okay. Lanton.
Okay. Two different types of carbonyeros. And it says at the bottom 9 million chilli oli... Oli Oli Oli Oli Oli Oli Oli Oli Oli Oli Oli Oli Oli O 2 3.
O-L-E-O-O-E-S-E-N Oli Arthian. Is that a phrase for some? I don't recognise it. Now Paul, before we have that, we're going to have one which is slightly less hot.
On their thing this goes up to extreme. It hasn't filled up. Right. And this is Dartmoor Dragon.
Extreme chilli sauce. Now this isn't... Do you know what guess what the first ingredient of this is? Look at the colour.
Uh, mustard mango. You called it? You called it. I can't even love fruit and chilli.
I'm not saying I hate it. I need to have a look at this properly. Homeroom chilli is no pesticide, green agey farm. Blah blah blah blah blah.
And it does say extremely hot. is on the top, exploding the scale. Yeah, that's fun. But that's gonna be the last one we do, Paul.
Well, that's all the stuff we've got there. I'm gonna eat a fucking dried naga. Do it. I'm not doing it.