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My name's Renee, and I am bad at movies. That's why I ask my friends to make me watch their favorite movies that I've never seen before. So on today's live episode, we have my friend Mike Gospel joining us. Hey! Oh, hi, Mike. Oh, hi, Renee. So the movie that we're talking about today is The Room. Holy moly. So normally for this, I do a blind judgment of the movie just based on the title alone. I like to guess what the plot is. But since we have some people who have not seen it, and since just the plot summary listed on IMDb is pretty spectacular, I'm just going to read that to you guys, okay?
So, Johnny is a successful banker who lives happily in a San Francisco townhouse with his fiancée, Lisa. One day, inexplicably, she gets bored of him and decides to seduce Johnny's best friend, Mark. From there, nothing will be the same again. Yeah, that's it. Awesome. So, also, we have Pete joining us. Hey, Pete. Oh, hi. Oh, hi, Pete. Oh, hi, Peter. So, if you guys would like to join me in trying to describe the plot of the movie in under one minute. Let's say, usually, when we do a movie in a minute, we're kind of exaggerating.
How awful a movie is? Yeah. This is as realistic as we can be how bad this movie is. Yes. Okay. Cool. Great. I'll be Lisa. Hi, babe. Hi. I brought this for you. Oh, it's a sexy dress. Thank you. Oh, hi, Denny. Hey, guys. What are you doing? We're about to have sex. Can I come upstairs? Oh, it was great, but three-second crowd. You're so silly. I'm going to come upstairs and watch you have sex anyway. Where's my fucking money, Denny? I don't have it. What do you mean to have my fucking money?
Hey, what's going on up here? Hey, that man has a gun. Danny, what's happening? That jerk Harold. Who does he think he is? Mom, I don't care about your breast cancer. I don't love Johnny anymore. And he hit me. Bye-bye. Hey, Johnny's my best friend. I can't cheat on... No, just kiss me. Just kiss me. Okay. What is going on here? I record everything. Oh, hi, Johnny. It's my birthday. Get your hands off me, motherfucker.
Hey, don't forget, I'm getting married soon. Let's take pictures in our suits and play football toss. In Texas? No way. No, it'll be fun. Come on. I don't love you anymore. I love Mark. Oh, you're tearing me apart! Bam! You are my rose, you are my rose, you are my...
That was super fun for everyone who hasn't seen this movie. Oh, boy. This is fun. I've never really done a live podcast where nobody's seen the movie. This is interesting. Yeah, cool. Okay, we got a couple people in the audience that have seen it. So you guys probably have at least heard of it, right? It's like the cult classic movie that's been called one of the worst movies of all time. And boy, that is the case. That is true. Yeah. There's screenings of it like there are for Rocky Horror and stuff like that all over the place. Yeah, I wanted to ask you about that. I went to one in college.
And Tommy, we so... First of all, okay. This movie is sort of like a love triangle movie where the guy who wrote, produced, directed, and starred in it is sort of getting out all of his, like, angst on the world. He also speaks English as, like, more than likely his third or fourth language. But anyway, he was there at the screening. So was Mark, his best friend, which is played by Greg Sestero. A hottie. And, yeah, really good-looking, like, good all-American babyface. And they... So, like, there's all sorts of, like...
ritual call-and-response stuff like there are in, like, Rocky Horror, you know, like, with, like, the toaster and stuff, but, like, with the room, there are, like, all these framed photos, like, little 5x7 framed photos on, like, all the end tables that have spoons in them, because the story is, like, they needed, like, shit to inhabit the room with, like, the apartment with, so they went to, like, a convenience store, or, like, a thrift store, and they bought, like... frames with the stock photos already in them, you know, like the frames come, and then they're like, okay, well, we need to take some photos, and Tommy was like, no, we forget this, this nonsense. So, like, in the movie, there are these, like, stock photos of spoons, and, like, the thing is, like, everyone throws these spoons, like, all up at the screen. That's funny. And, like, they, the one I went to, actually, it was at a college, it was at IU, and they gave out, like, spoons, like, they just facilitated all of it, so we just, like, you throw them, and if you run out, like, more than likely some will come from behind you, and you'll pick more up, because they appear on the screen all the time. Yeah, because the whole movie basically takes place in that one shitty decorator room. There is not a single redeeming quality about this movie.
Down to, like a kung fu movie, the mouths don't match up with the English words that are happening. Characters inexplicably come in to a scene, say they're busy, and then say they have to go. That happens maybe eight times. All of the characters just directly explain who they are in relationship to other characters. They'll just come in and say, well, as your mother, I would like to say, you shouldn't get married to Johnny, who is your fiancé. Your future husband. They never say fiancé. They say future wife and future husband. There are two people that we've never seen before in a scene, and the mother comes in and says, what are these characters doing in this room? Which is just such a blatant question.
about what's happening on screen. It's garbage. Probably what the actress actually was saying. Like, who are these characters? Like, so his story is he was like a San Francisco guy. Well, okay, so his story is that he's somewhere from Europe and then moved to America because it was the great land of opportunity. And he claims, like, when people ask him, like, where he's from, he claims he's from Louisiana. Like, that's where he claims his accent. Oh, I don't know. I have a big problem with that. He says he's from Louisiana and then someone in Louisiana told him, like, you need to move to San Francisco. Okay, so he wanted to be an actor and he...
He makes two or three concerted efforts to becoming an actor, and this was the thing. He was like, well, I'll write it, because no one's ever going to cast it, because he looks like he's made out of wood, and he's got some troll hair. He looks like a Geico caveman. And he has vivid sex three minutes into the movie, and they don't know how to stage it, so it looks like he's just humping her hip bone. Or up high in her...
And they're making moaning sounds when their mouth is closed or not matching up with what's happening and they don't even have their clothes off and they're both just going like, oh. I'm so angry about this movie. Did you not like it? Did you not think it was funny? Okay. It's just a thing that became a thing because it's so bad, which I get, but it's not funny. But it's so bad in a transcendent way. Not like a crappy horror movie where it's like, oh, that's fake blood. Oh, this is bad acting. It's like 150%.
Every decision that could have been made was the wrong decision. Oh, my God. They also reused clips for multiple sex scenes. The first sex scene includes scenes from the first sex scene or love scenes. The first one was enough. I mean, you just see Tommy Wiseau's sinewy ass. It's the full thing. My theory is, I don't know if this is true, but my theory was that they paid for those R&B songs, so they wanted to use all of them for the whole song. But I think also he was just really full of himself and wanted people to see.
His butt. Just awesome body. They keep showing establishing shots of the Golden Gate Bridge even though we never leave San Francisco just to remind us that we're still there for a long time. That's like a 15 second pan of the bridge. That's one of the sort of call and response standards at the screenings, I guess, is when it pans across the bridge, everyone's like, go, go, go, go, so that once it gets to land on the other side, everyone's like, yeah! And then in the times that it just stops halfway through, people are like, ah, fuck! It's so ridiculous. Being in a big crowd, there are standards that clearly people who have gone to a bunch of them knew what they were, but then people...
still just kind of yell throughout. Yeah. They don't know the things. Like, one of the big ones is when, so Lisa, who is Johnny's future wife, invites Mark, Johnny's best friend. By the way, that's a drinking game rule. Anytime you hear Johnny's best friend, that's a drink. I could see that. You can get really drunk, yeah. But she, like, seduces him or however you want to call that. And she goes, like, what is this?
The music, the candles, the sexy dress. But, like, first of all, none of those things are happening in the scene. There are no candles. The music is, like, the music of the film being, like, the scoring thing. And the dress is, like, arguably sexy, but I would say no. Just like a black tube top dress. Ooh, this part of your body is really sexy. Just sexy shoulders. That's one of the parts where you're supposed to, like, it's like a call and answer. Like, after he says each of those things, you say what, and then the things are like, the music, what music? The candles, what candles? The sexy dress, what sexy dress? I have only been to the one, and, like, I want to go again, but, like, the people who have clearly, like, followed this
cult thing around yeah that's so funny it's so funny to think about how that got started like okay it's a shitty movie but then enough people like this shitty movie that they started showing it in theaters and people started like like doing that cult thing like they just started their own ritual and now anytime anybody goes to see that movie that's what happened yeah it's really funny and it was like in 2003 yeah like internet was a thing but not like It wouldn't explode immediately, you know? Like, it would now, but... Dan showed this movie. Whoa. Dan showed this movie to me before we moved to Chicago. And when I found out it was made in 2003, it fucking blew my mind. I thought it was some disaster basement movie from the 70s. Yeah. And I was like, oh, this was made like 10 years ago. Like, what the fuck? No! One of the really fun things, a friend of mine pointed this out one time, is try to come up with how many days you think happened over the course of the movie. That's so funny. It could be two, or it could be like 40. Like, they're in the tuxes, and we don't know if that's for the wedding, or like the photos. It's for photos? Yeah. Okay.
By the way, girls would know this. I don't know if guys would know this. Only women are really taking photos before the wedding of themselves in the gown to put in a newspaper notice or something. Or the guy will take a picture with her. Never just the groom standing there like, I'm getting married. And then they put it up. And not his groomsmen either. So the fact that they're all there in Texas is like, what is happening? That makes me think about Denny. So first of all, the character outline, if this were a play, which it actually was sort of written as a play slash movie, he couldn't make up his mind what it would be. So if you were to outline the characters, there's Johnny.
The man, the cool guy, the protagonist, the all-American guy, who of course is played by a vampire 80s rock star. And then there's the conniving, manipulative woman who is Lisa. And then there's Mark, the best friend, who's also kind of like Johnny America. And then the future wife's mom, Claudette. Okay, there's plenty to say about her. Then there's Denny, who is a guy who lives in their apartment building. Johnny is paying for him to go to school and paying for his apartment. He's either...
30 or 14. And it's not really clear as to what he is. I think at some point, like, Johnny, or Tommy Wiseau himself was on the record as saying he was supposed to play that character. Philip, whatever his name is, the guy named Denny, was, like, told to play the character with, like, a little twinge of, like, special needs. Oh, my God. Like, the direction given to him. It's like, what? And they put him in these, like, I called it, like, the Old Navy clearance section. But he, like, so he's in the tux, in the football wedding photo tux scene. And then there's Peter, who is their psychologist friend, who also maybe...
He lives in the building. He doesn't come in until, like, an hour into the movie. And then it goes away entirely before the, like, birthday party where you invited all my friends, good thinking. He, that actor, I guess, like, was like, fuck this and, like, stopped working on it. So then they hired that other guy who had all those...
brilliant lines toward the end. His name was Steven. He says stuff like, I feel like I'm sitting on an atomic bomb waiting to go off. And he's the one who Mark says to him, why don't you leave your stupid comments in your pocket? Like, that guy was just sort of a replacement heater. Oh, I didn't even realize that. I didn't know it was a different guy. No idea. They looked exactly the same. I think one of our favorite scenes in the whole movie is when Johnny goes to the flower shop to buy roses. Oh, yeah. There's so many... I can't... Okay. First of all, it's probably like a ten-second scene. It's ten seconds. So short. So short. He walks in... I don't remember what the initial line was.
Hi. Oh, hi. And the woman who's like the cashier goes, oh, hi, Johnny. I didn't realize it was you. From...
What? He said, hi, a dozen red roses, please. And she's like, oh, hi, Johnny, I didn't know it was you. Which, like, if you've seen a photograph of this fellow, you can recognize him, like, from the other side of the state. He's the creepiest looking dude. And that's her favorite customer. Yeah, I just want to explain. There's, like, six lines that happen right on top of each other that are so fucking bizarre. He buys roses, and there's a dog sitting on the counter. And I think these are the lines that happen just simultaneously. How much is it? $12. Here you go. Bye, doggie. You're my favorite customer. And they also don't seem cause and effect related.
Like, it seemed like maybe they got their scripts mixed up and were doing the lines out of order or something. Dude, I don't know. That scene is definitely on YouTube as its own clip. So, like, definitely watch that one. That's the one, like, I always will, like, to explain this movie to people, I'll show the trailer they released and I'll show that scene. And be like, if that has you intrigued. It's like if you were abducted by aliens and the aliens showed you this movie to make you think you were still on Earth, but you could tell that you weren't. Yeah, no. That's the best way I could describe this movie. That's just what they, like, glean from. Yeah, we brought you a human film. Enjoy. Yeah, he is a total alien. Like, this is a weird, dumb story, but a friend of mine...
college was talking about this other guy who we thought might have been an alien because he didn't know what fruit loops were oh my god that's a dumb other part of the story but then when I went to the screening there was like a Q&A with Tommy Wiseau which of course like he spun every one of his answers to like you have to think for yourself and be creative but like someone asked them what their favorite cereals were and Greg Sestero who plays Mark said you know some answer like Cheerios or whatever and then Tommy was like this personal question I not answer this and I told my friend this and he was like oh my god maybe the aliens didn't get the cereal page of like the human book Oh, also, first of all, they play football a number of times in this movie at very close range. When I went to this and got to meet them, he signed my football. I bought a football on my way out of town. He signed my football. But beforehand, I handed it to him just so nervous. And he was like, hey, you go. And he's kind of motioning me to go long. And we're in a hallway in the Indiana University Student Union. And I break out of the autograph line to go catch a pass from Tommy Wiseau. Did he lightly throw it underhand? Short-armed it. And we threw it.
More times than I was particularly comfortable with. Because there was a very long line of people waiting for autographs. And he was like, I throw it back. I was like, okay. And he throws it back to me. I'm like, Jesus. We're going to be here all evening. Like, oh, oh, and my name is Mike. He signed my poster. He asked my name. He signed my poster to Mick. Mick. Love, TW. Oh, my God. He is an alien. Yes. He's got to be. That's the only reasonable explanation for how this movie is big. I wrote down a number of quotes from the movie. Let's hear it.
Oh, yeah. Because I've seen it a number of times, and I was paying attention to weirder throwaway lines, and they are just astounding. So the scene that begins with Lisa ordering a pizza, which then later ends with her going, do you want me to order a pizza? And Tommy's like, I don't care. Or Johnny. And then she goes, I already ordered a pizza. And he goes, oh, you'll think about everything. So this is the pizza she ordered on the phone. Yes, okay. Into this. She's like, oh, hi. Yeah, I'd like to order a pizza. Okay, half Canadian bacon with pineapple, half artichoke and pesto, light on the cheese.
That's not a thing. I don't know why that struck me, but the specificity of that is just... That's the only line in the whole movie that's specific. Exactly. And why? Here's another one I wrote down that has always kind of bothered me, but... It's in that same conversation.
So Johnny is maybe going to get a promotion at the bank where he works. Okay, I did not know he worked at a bank throughout the entire movie. They say that like one time. But she said the computer business is so competitive. I think that's because Lisa is working in the computer business. The computer business. I'm pretty sure she doesn't work. No, no, no, totally doesn't. But she was like, so did you get your promotion? And he's all like pissed off. And then he goes like, I saved them bundles. And they already put my ideas into practice.
That's all. That's it. Again, the specificity of that pizza order, and then seconds later he says that he just had ideas for this bank that were deeming a promotion. Pete was saying during the movie, he said the thing about how he looks like a Geico caveman. And so when he said, I helped him save bundles, I said, I sent you to Geico. Oh, that's hilarious. The top three things people say in this movie are every single greeting in the entire movie is, oh, hi. Oh, hi.
Unsettling. Followed by many times, I'm very busy. That's number two. Number one is oh hi, whoever. Number two is I'm busy. And number three is it doesn't even matter. Anytime we come even close to learning anything about anyone or any situation, a character will say, never mind, it doesn't matter. Like they're talking to the audience. Like are you starting to care about this? Don't. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Like that whole drug scene with Chris R. Which is like, I've looked back into that. Like it's not like his name is Chris Reynolds and he goes by Chris R. Like that's his like.
like, gangsta name, like, Chris Hyphen R. And he just shows up. So, Denny, the boy slash 30-something. Is his name actually Denny? Denny. It's not just him being like, Denny. No, it's, yeah. He's not disabled. He just sounds like a lunatic. He just has an accent, yeah. From Louisiana. Yeah, Louisiana. He, like, Denny gets into some trouble with some money and or some drugs from this, like, big, tall, jacked dude named Chris R. And he, they have a rooftop confrontation on the coolest rooftop in San Francisco where people go to swear, smoke secret pot,
And then threaten to throw people over the edge to a green screen doom. And Chris R shows up to harass Denny and then gets taken away by Johnny and Mark because they break up the fight and then we never, ever see him again. He's not back for the rest of the movie. He is in one scene, period. Because he went to jail. Because Johnny comes out immediately like, he is in jail now. Like five seconds after the guy walked out, he is in jail now. Denny, what happened? And when they try to figure out what's causing Denny's drug problem, he keeps saying, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter! You're not my fucking mother! He is like, like...
He's all hysterical. And then he says, it doesn't matter. He's going to jail now. Yeah, that's it. I'm trying to get to see some of these other dumb things I wrote down. What you said, what are these characters doing? Oh, again in that same scene with the pizza order and with those motherfuckers don't know. They're drunk and he drops the glass he's drinking out of and it explodes. You don't see it, but the sound effect is way high in the mix. It's like a whole building fell down. It's just sort of like a thing you're not supposed to really know is there.
God, I have so many just like dumb random things on here. Yeah, same here. I'm looking through my notes too. He doesn't drink. Johnny doesn't. Johnny doesn't drink. No, I don't drink that. And then Lisa is like, if you love me, you'll drink this. And they drink an entire bottle of whiskey. Well, and first of all, she comes into the room with two glasses half full of some kind of brownish liquid. Right. And then use the bottle she brought in to fill this up more with like another liquid. With vodka. With vodka. Like, what did she come in with? Because that was like... I think it's... She made a whiskey vodka. But she brought the whiskey in the glasses and the bottle of vodka. It doesn't make sense. Like, what was... At least it's consistent.
Someone would have been like, oh, she's brought in two half-full glasses and then a bottle to top them off with another. Someone would have had to be like, no, that's what we want. Tommy Wiseau. That's what he wanted. This is why I'm saying aliens. Because people drink, but they finish the drink before moving from one room to the other. I don't know. Here's another one. He's clearly got something in for women or really just other people at large. The whole movie, he is victimized, but he's the best guy. He is Jesus Christ in this movie. He pays for this little guy to go to school. He's nothing but faithful to his wife. The people at his job victimize him. He's just such a victim.
And this is a Mark line, but obviously Tommy wrote this whole thing. And he says, they were talking about, he goes, do you think girls like to cheat as much as guys do? Which is already like, okay. But then he says, he talks about a girl who he used to know. He says, I used to know a girl who had a dozen guys. One of them found out, beat her up so bad she ended up in a hospital on Guerrero Street. And Tommy went, oh, that is quite a story.
What? And they talk about that line in this book. A couple things about it. By the way, what is the book? It is The Disaster Artist by Greg Sestero, who was Mark in the movie, and Tom Bissell. And he talks about that line as they first were all kind of like, this isn't funny. This is dark and mean and tragic. And then he kept getting through the line and Tommy didn't like it. He didn't like the way he was delivering it. So he added that on Guerrero Street at the end because I guess Tommy was so lived in a condo in San Francisco on Guerrero Street and he was always so uptight about his...
He didn't want anyone to know anything about him, like, furthering his alien possibilities. And when he said that, like, it was the take that worked the best. Like, the sound got picked up and everything, but Tommy, like, freaked out and had, like, a whole separate conversation, like, why do you talk about me? Like... Oh, my God. So weird. Now I have to read the book. And we have to go see the movie together. Where do they do it at? They do it here at Music Box. Music Box, cool. You don't have to do that. Speaking of now that we are talking about the book, I bookmarked only two things because it'll kind of just show... Hit me with it. The book is fantastic. I was saying earlier, I was trying to...
keep a record of, like, things that made me, like, laugh or be like, what? And now they're making a movie based on that book, right? Yeah, Drew Spanko and his brother bought the rights to the book. Oh, my God. That's gonna be amazing. Yeah. So first of all, they bought all their camera equipment. Like, big studios don't do that. Yeah. They, like, rent it because camera equipment, like, becomes obsolete in, like, months. Yeah. So he bought it all outright from this place and they let him use their, like, small studio space to shoot the movie. Oh. At this camera, or, yeah, camera film company.
And oh, by the way, this movie budget was $6 million. They spent $6 million on this movie. I couldn't tell you where like 6,000 of those dollars went. Like this movie is just downright garbage. How can that be? So he, first of all, the whole thing was shot with two cameras side by side, one in HD and one in like 35 millimeter because he didn't know which the future of film would be. They made a rig, like a special camera rig to hold these two types of film. What? Because he was like, this big Hollywood thing. Oh yeah, there's Dan's holding a picture. So what, you can like see it in broken 3D? What does that mean? Well, no, because he wanted to make sure he had both types of film shot in case like he realized that HD was the new way or whatever.
So there's an entire, like, phantom movie out there that we will never see. But okay, so he just spends money like a crazy person. Here's the, like, thing. Okay, so he spent $6,000. Here is where $6,000 of the sandwich went. To make a private bathroom just for himself on the soundstage. Where he takes alien dump. And it's in the studio. They constructed it out of walls, but the door was like a curtain. And so I'm trying to find a quote in here. Here's what Greg said. This was weird for so many reasons. For one, Burns and Sawyer had a clean, roomy bathroom facility 80 feet away from Tommy's little toilet ego shrine.
For another, was he really going to void his bowels in the middle of the studio separated from the people with whom he was working by only a flimsy curtain? Like, that's an example of where $6,000 could have been spent. And that was a nothing thing. So you could imagine. He's a crazy man. I'm frightened of him. Yeah, he seems like a very odd person. And then, well, I guess we're on it. This book, every chapter starts with either a quote from Sunset Boulevard or from The Talented Mr. Ripley, which was like the movie at the time when we were making this, which is about like, have you guys seen that? Yeah. Like a guy who's kind of creepy to another guy's life and like wants in on his life, which is very like parallel to like their relationship. And so they went and saw that together, Tommy and Greg Sestero.
And afterwards, Tommy was so broken up and affected by it that he wanted to write a movie, which ended up becoming The Room. And he said, he was like, and you're going to play the best friend. He said that to Mark. They were living together. Or to Greg. And he says, I know the name of your character now. You will be called Mark, like this guy, Mark Damon.
the star of talented Mr. Ripley, Mark Damon. Oh my God. Yeah. Holy shit. I've already read this and I was rereading it recently. And when I got to that page, I was like, Oh boy. I wish we could talk about this for hours. We can off, off mic for sure. Um, I just want to say thank you for everybody who came out today. And, um, thank you to second week collective for putting this all together. We're so happy to be here.
And we're going to go ahead and wrap up the podcast with Morty and Ava Rosenblum. If you guys aren't familiar, they are our elderly best friends. They are film critics, and they have strong opinions on every movie that we talk about on Bad at Movies. And I'm sure this will be the case for this one as well. Mike, are you okay talking to them? Oh, yeah. I am a big fan of them. Okay, great. We'll go ahead and bring them up on the stage right now.
Hello. Oh, my goodness. Hello. Hello, young man. Mr. Gospel. Pleasure to meet you. It's a big pleasure to meet you. I've heard you on this podcast. I'm a big fan. It's been a long time since we felt like celebrities, and that jolted my heart a little bit. Yes. Well, why don't we go ahead and talk about The Room, huh? I'm really anxious to hear what you guys thought. I have to be honest with you. We've watched a lot of films for this podcast. We've enjoyed some of them. We've disliked some of them. But, my God, this movie.
is the best movie. We loved it so much. We loved it. Oh my God. It is very hard for me to follow the plot of many films. Sure. Every scene I would turn in the morning and I'd say, who is this character and what is his point? And he'd say, I'm Mark and I'm Johnny's best friend. And I said, oh, okay, I see where it's going now. I was constantly reminded. I just felt like every line was straight as an arrow to my brain. No confusion. I don't watch a movie so that I can later...
figure out the puzzle of what actually happened. You know what I mean? And I was like, where did I live again? Oh, San Francisco. There's the bridge. There's the bridge. I get it. I see it. I'm not much of a sports fan, but the way that they play football seems very accessible. Nobody got too excited. Not much was happening. That's what I'd like to do, which is step outside for maybe two minutes until somebody falls down and go back inside. Yes.
What did you think of all the falling down? A couple different people fell down. I think that's very relatable. It is. I fall down all the time. It's very terrifying. And sometimes I need to go to the hospital. You don't want to talk about this right now. I'm so sorry. You know what? Let me just say this. As I wipe crumbs off the table. That poor woman Claudette. Oh my goodness. She had breast cancer and she was like a saint. She's the martyr of the movie. She just told her daughter, well, I have breast cancer. And her daughter was like, okay, mom. And I was like, oh.
This is so sad. I really respected the way that Claudette handled her daughter's abusive relationship. Yes. She told him to stay in it. She told her mother, mother, Johnny hit me. And Claudette responded, but he's perfect. He's rich. He's got a good job and he can provide you a good life. Who cares if he slapped you once? And she didn't even get slapped. He did not hit her. He did not hit her. It's bullshit. Oh, hi, Mike. How are you? So you picked up some of his quotes. Oh, yes. Well, we come from the same place, Louisiana.
I get his accent is very, very understandable to me. I was like, I feel right at home. Right at home. Right at home, back on that street with the condo. You know, sometimes it takes a long time. I hear a lot of people tell me, you should watch this show. It gets really good after the third episode. I don't have time for that. No. This movie, three minutes in, vigorous sexy. That's the way to rope somebody in. And that took us on that man. Oh, my God, he's made of marble. Ha-cha-cha. He looked like he was made of perhaps a bag of marbles.
The shape of his body was very interesting. There were folds and ridges that I was unfamiliar with. I'm an old man, so my legs are not as tight as they used to be. I'm not sure what happened to his legs. It's not from old age. It's not from being overweight. He's clearly very young. Maybe. I couldn't tell you. I feel like he's more like the goblet they're looking for in Indiana Jones. Very, very, very old, but representing youth.
Does that make sense? Completely, yeah. It does to me, yeah. As much sense as the movie did. It's really great that you grabbed that out of Indiana Jones. That seemed like something that was a little more symbolic, and you seemed to be a kind of literal guy. Speaking of Indiana Jones, why do you rate this movie, my gospel? The Room, not Indiana Jones. I don't care less about that piece of garbage. I rate this movie two pieces of cheesecake.
Fair enough. That's all. Marty, what do you rate this movie? I rate this movie 7 out of 10, half Hawaiian, half pesto artichoke pizzas. Oh my goodness, he really liked this movie. I never give a movie higher than 70%.
That's okay. Well, I give it eight out of ten framed spoon pictures on the wall. That's how much I liked it. So you caught those, too? Yes. Oh, I want those for my house. Where did he buy those? It was amazing. The decor was unbelievable. It was gorgeous. Breathtaking. The red curtains and the marble columns. What city were they in for this movie? I don't remember.
There's one thing that was not clear is where they were. I can't seem to remember now. I think France. France, that's it. It was France. Okay, well, I guess we should go now, probably. Yes, I have to use the restroom. Okay. Goodbye. Thank you, guys.