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What's up? Hello. Hello, Naren. No, Naren.
So, we shall proceed without the profundity that is Naren. But we are here to record a shorty today, and this shorty, actually, comes all the way from Colombia. So, the country is known for coffee, Shakira, and Pablo Escobar. And this actually begins with Pablo Escobar.
The shorty isn't about Escobar as such, but it begins with Escobar. It starts, so he was, I mean, for those who have been living under a rock, Pablo Escobar is the greatest drug lord the world has ever seen. It was killed, like, 25 years ago, but the Colombian government is still suffering from his legacy. And this shorty is all about Escobar's legacy and how it's, like, still affecting Colombia in the weirdest way possible.
So, let's start from the very beginning. And to give you a brief background about Escobar, which, I mean, if you don't live under a rock or don't have a Netflix connection, is all documented in this show called Narcos. But Escobar was basically running a drug cartel the size of the economy of a small country. At one point, it was estimated that 70 to 80 tons of cocaine was being shipped from Colombia to the United States every month.
And, yeah, it was, like, at the height of Escobar, the median cartel, which was Escobar's cartel, was shipping as much as 11 tons per flight in jetliners to the United States. And his brother also claimed that they were using, like, they had two small submarines to transport, like, cocaine to the United States as well. So, I mean, they brought in, like, more than 70 million per day. 70 million USD per day.
And that is, like, they had so much money that the cartel spent about $1,000 per week just, like, purchasing rubber bands to wrap the sack of the cash. Yeah, and 10% of their overall cash was written off per year because of spoilage, because rats eating them before they could reach them. So, like, 10% of, like, their overall, like, imagine, like, they're making 70 million per day and 7 million is just being written off because, like, rats are eating them. Rats are not eating the produce.
They're eating the money. Money. That's about it. Although rats eating the produce over here would be very interesting.
Oh, yeah. That would be a whole different experience. Some lab experiments that would lead to. Yeah.
But anyway, what does a man do when he has this amount of money? He does some crazy shit. Like, build himself a massive, luxurious 20-square-kilometer estate called Hacienda Napoles. Wait, 20-square-kilometers?
20-square-kilometer estate. All for himself and, like, his family. And he's, like, he's got, like, the biggest luxuries over there. And cops can't touch him, no?
No, no. It's a guarded estate that cops are afraid to approach. And among the other crazy shit that he does in there, he builds himself a nice little private zoo. And what he does is, among all the cocaine loads which he's transporting, he starts using his planes to get in some of the most exotic animals from around the world, which had no business being in Colombia.
Like, for example, he got in, like, a whole bunch of antelope, elephants, exotic birds, giraffes, ostriches, ponies, and hippo-buttomuses. So, and, so here, so fast forward to 1993, let's, like, this shorty is not at all about Escobar, it moves well beyond his life. 1993, Escobar's drug empire is in ruins, and he shot and killed by the Colombian National Police. And so you think his legacy is over.
But it was not. When the drug empire of Colombia changed, the government seized Hacienda Napoles, and all his assets included in the private zoo. So they captured all these animals that were, like, roaming free around there, antelopes, elephants, exotic birds, all of these things, they got them together, and sent them to zoos around the world. So they got all of these things.
But they ended up forgot one animal, which was the hippos. Specifically, one male, just one male, and three female hippos. All right. I have a feeling at the end of this, some Indian joint family scene is going to happen.
No, I mean, just imagine there's just one male and three female hippos, and it's not actually, to be fair, it was not even for the lack of time. So they were actually sending people to wander the swamp. And then they realized that they're just, these hippos are way too fast. They're too difficult to track, then tranquilize and drag back.
And so they were like, screw it, it's not worth it. They're hippos. And they just, like, moved on. Now, just give you a bit of, like, geography plus biology lesson here.
Hippos are not native to Colombia. They are found only in Africa. All right. So they're very, they're in Africa, they're not found anywhere else in the world right now, except for now, Colombia, where there are, like, these four hippos roaming around.
But in the time that followed, this particular area that, the Hacienda Napoli's area that was there, turns out to be, like, a very nice safe haven for all these hippos. Especially the one male who's surrounded by this great choice of three females. And as time passes, these hippos start multiplying. Oh, hippos have a little bit to a lot of.
So by 2007, these animals are multiplied to 16, and have taken to roaming the area around the Magdalena River, which is the nearby river to the Hacienda Napoli. And they've become 16. Wow. In 2007.
By 2014, there are 40 hippos that have, they've become 40 hippos at this point. And as of 2018, in the last count, they are now about close to 70. Holy shit. So these hippos are just, like, massively, the population is massively exploding, because there are no natural predators in the area for the hippos.
And it's like hippo heaven. Like, it's plentiful food, great weather, and, like, it's a whole area, it's a massive swampy area, so they can, like, just chill over there and, like, relax in the water. This is amazing. This is like, if hippos were a stock, you would buy them, right?
Like, they've gone from 3 to 70 in about, like, 30, whatever, 40 years. There are, like, all the conditions that you spread. It's like a PPD, you know? Like, conditions for growth, no natural predators.
So, yeah, I would bet in hippos in Colombian hippo futures, I would bet in. Hippo futures, yeah. And the locals also seem to like these hippos a lot. So what they've done is now, the government has converted, like, Escobar's old estate into, like, an amusement park.
Are you serious? It's now an amusement park, and now there are, like, people who come over there, and they have actually put, like, a, they say hippo memorabilia over there, and there's, like, people, tourists, allowed to go and see the hippos who are, like, chilling near the beaches and all that stuff. So you would think that the story has a really happy ending. The only problem here is that there's a common perception that hippos are basically, like, cute, little, like, cows.
Yeah. Not, not, I mean, not just by the common perception, but also reinforced by, like, Disney and Madagascar's representation of hippos as, like, these beautiful, Yeah, benign, gentile, gentile is the word you're looking for. The reality is, hippo is the world's deadliest large land mammal. Whoa.
It's the deadliest. It's estimated to kill 500 people per year in Africa. Whoa. All right.
They're extremely territorial, have a very foul temper, and attack well without provocation. So, in fact, there is this amazing video, which I recommend everyone goes and checks out, and we'll provide the link in the description as well, of this school of hippos who have attacked a croc in the water. The croc is just dying over there. So, they're just, like, in a herd, have attacked a croc and are killing a croc together.
So, these hippos are vicious. And, in fact, recently, I think there was this one in Kenya, there was a tourist who went close to a hippo to take a photo, and a hippo bit him, and the type of these two just, like, died. Whoa. So, like, they kill tourists for sport.
So, hippos are not to be approached comfortably or whatever. Now, these guys, so, in fact, conservationists are, like, really worried. Like, the conservationists in Colombia are really worried because these guys are multiplying so much, and they are, like, extending way beyond. So, they're, right, so they're going well beyond their, whatever, their area that was there originally, and they've, like, started going downstream and entering different new areas where the river takes them.
And so, in fact, the conservationists are afraid that if they are allowed to continue to reproduce, like, unchecked, they will displace endemic animals like otters and manatees which are there over, for whom this particular ecosystem is a natural habitat too. Now, the funny part is, the Colombian government has understood this problem right from the beginning. All right, they have understood that, you know, we have to get rid of the hippos, and we should, like, control that population and whatever. The problem here comes is that it's very difficult to get rid of the hippo population.
Now, what they did was, there are multiple ways of getting rid of the hippo population. First, they said, okay, let's sterilize the hippos. Turns out, shooting, tranquilizing, and sterilizing one hippo costs a bomb. Like, it costs around, like, something around 5,000 USD to just do that for one hippo.
And here, you have, like, about 70 years of last count. Yeah, 70 years of last count. And not just that, these guys are saying that by the time you can capture and sterilize one hippo, there are, like, three hippos that are lost. It's no point of sterilizing one hippo over here.
The second problem is, they were like, okay, let's just, like, move all of these hippos anywhere. Anywhere, anywhere. Yeah, they said, let's move these hippos to another country or whatever. Now, they are not even able to capture or identify and locate all of these hippos because the area that they are spread in is so large.
Third, they said, let's pen these hippos together in one small area concentration so we can control that population that way. Now, they put barbed wire and fencing and all that stuff. Turns out hippo hide is so tough that barbed wire is, like, it's not even a scratch for them. So, they just, like, bram themselves against barbed wire.
So, they are not able to keep them controlled. Finally, they said, let's just shoot the f***ers. Let's just shoot and kill them and we'll get enough. So, in fact, they sent one team to, like, shoot a bunch of hippos.
They killed one hippo and they posed, so, the guys posed against the hippos and, like, posted it online and all that. The local community was a massive outcry. They said, how can you kill the hippos? They are so cute.
They are so awesome. Why do you kill them? And, in fact, it got to an extent where a local judge passed a rule against killing hippos. So, you can't even now kill them anymore.
So, this particular thing has become, like, one major, like, problem for me. And, somewhere, Escobar is, like, looking down and, like, hey, f***ers, you're trying to kill me, you know? Love, see, take. That is the legacy, like, behind my Escobar now.
Like, he's got, like, he's just, he's like, yeah, yeah, my cocaine empire may have been dead, but now deal with the f***ing hippos, bro. Maybe that was a plan all along, actually. Maybe the cocaine was just a rule, a way for him to, you know that George Carlin said, no, like, the humans were put on the planet only to create plastic. Like, humans will die off and go, and plastic will still be there.
Maybe God created humans so that he would get plastic. Yeah, there's one YouTube comment. So, there's a great video on this. I think National Geographic did an entire documentary on these cocaine hippos.
And, the top comment, I think, on YouTube for them is that, plot twist, Escobar was actually working for the hippos. So, yeah, I mean, that could very well be the story. But, there's also a flip side. I mean, there's a new National Geographic article that's come out lately that says that, in a weird way, the hippos are actually doing good for the local ecosystem, the natural ecosystem.
Basically, the way hippos are is that they eat plants off the coast, and they shit in the water, right? So, because of that, they're actually increasing the microfauna or flora in the water, and they're actually keeping the plants around the entire lake and the riverbodies in check and stuff like that. So, there's an entire theory about saying that how they are improving the quality of the overall water and allowing entirely new species to take root inside the ecosystem, and it's positive in its own way. But, there is, of course, it's a huge conservationist debate.
Some people are saying they're an invasive species that are going to kill like otters and nanities and stuff like that. The others are saying they're actually useful. So, whatever may be the stance, the one thing is for sure that the hippos are here to stay in Colombia, and they are like growing. And, like, Pablo Escobar may have created a lasting legacy through his Netflix series, but there's a real biological legacy that he's left behind in Colombia, and it's a pretty significant hippo-shaped problem for them.
So, yeah, that's the shorty for today about cocaine pose. Cocaine pose, yeah. It was a tremendously fun topic to see us on and find out more about. So, yeah, that's it for this week.
We will see you next time with a longer episode for Simplified 150. Yeah, and if any of you have a drug empire, then think twice about which illegal animals you are importing in. Stick to hamsters, I would say. Which animal would you like to have an infestation of, Jack?
Oh, I would say, the blue marlin fish, actually, they're delicious. That's fair enough, nice. I haven't had roast hippopotamus, but from whatever you're telling me with respect to tranquilizing them and all that, I have a feeling that preparation might take a while. Like, if you go to a restaurant and say, I want, like, hippopotamus kebab or something, say, okay, sir, just wait for some three hours.
Yeah, why don't you join? Shinde, tranquilizer nikal. So, anyway. Thank you for joining us, guys.
See you next week. Bye-bye. Bye. Bye.
Bye. Bye. Bye.