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My name's Renee, and I am bad at movies. That's why I ask my friends to make me watch their favorite movies that I've never seen before. So on today's episode, we have a returning guest! Yay! I'm so excited to have Julie Schmierbeck back in our studio. How are you, Julie? I'm doing so great. Oh, I'm so glad to hear that. How are you? Oh, I'm good. I'm doing good. I'm sitting right here next to my sweetie-peety. Oh, right.
True. Today we are talking about the movie Hook. And I've never seen Hook before, you guys. So I just went ahead and wrote up a blind judgment of what I think the plot of Hook is. So get ready. Here it comes. After a devastating breakup, successful music producer Molly quits her job and moves out to the country. It's there that she finds her true passion for fly fishing. Join her on her journey of loss, carp, and maybe finding the biggest catch of all, a new man. Hook! Let's watch it!
And now, the plot of Hook in under 60 seconds. Yep, in the hospital. Yep, got it. Granny Wendy. What? Daddy, are you gonna come to my game? I'll try, but I probably won't. Let's go to London. Hello, Peter. Oh, Wendy. It's me, Wendy. Hi. We gotta go see a thing. Bye! The kids, they're gone! Oh my god. Hookie's back. Who are you? Gotta go to Neverland. I can't, I can't. You've got to. Oh, you're taking me anyway! Hello, pirates. I'm back. I hate all of you. Uh...
Those are my kids. I'm going to sue you if you don't give them back to me. This is not Peter Pan. I don't know. It's me. What's going on? Peter, I'm just a little kid. Peter, you got to get back to being Peter Pan and help defeat Hook. Hey, you're just a bunch of kids. Bangarang. Oh, my God. I'm feeling Peter Pan again. Oh, my God. I'm Peter Pan again.
Are you ready for a fight, Peter? Your son is my son now. Baseball. Daddy! Oh, I'm Peter Pan again. I saved everyone. So, hey, Julie. Hey, hey. We already said hey, but hey again. Hey. Yeah, so this movie was great. Yay. I really enjoyed it. I think that it was maybe a little longer than I expected, but there was like a lot that they wanted to cover. And I liked that. I misunderstood. I thought that it was going to be just like another Peter Pan movie, but it's...
It's a completely different story than the original Peter Pan, which I enjoyed. It was like a sequel almost. I don't remember much about the original Peter Pan. It was so long ago since I was a child. But I feel like you never really learn what happens after he's in Neverland. There's kind of a breaking point where it's like, what was the rest of the story? There's very little closure. So I feel like this kind of put a nice button on it in a very happy way.
what could have happened yeah it's like what what happens when peter finally decides to grow up and you see that and it's kind of sad that he just doesn't even remember what his life was and he just turns into like a bad adult you know like there's yeah he goes to the extreme of just like i'm an adult who has no fun and he's so unhappy but it's nice to see once he finally figures out like oh yeah i used to be this really cool kid and everything like that you just why exactly does he lose his memory why doesn't he remember anything i don't know i think it's when he because they say I watched the beginning like thoroughly this morning so I always feel like that's the part that's very forgettable about this movie not forgettable but just like you get so caught up in like the fun of it that it's not always what you remember and they talked about how like when he saw Moira in Wendy's house after Wendy was, like, old. That was when he decided to stay. And from there on, like, that's when he became an orphan, essentially, like, in London and grew up. And I think he just got so into being a person. Yeah. Like, a person that functions in the real world as we know it that it's just, like, he forgot. Like, he lost track of time and track of what he was. I mean, if you think about it, if he was in Never Neverland, who knows how old this guy is in real life. Right. Maybe he was a senile 13-year-old because he's been in Neverland for so long. I was just like, the only thing that bothered me about the ending was, like...
He's like, oh, I'll never forget you. And I was like, but you did. You did. You did before. How are we going to prevent that problem from happening again? Well, yeah, I don't know. I'm a pessimist. I also just thought about the fact that, like, Moira marries him and, you know, falls in love with him and everything. And she, it's weird to think that she fell in love with this, like, very serious dodgy man because she kind of talks to him like, you've lost your sense of fun. And it's like, but he was never fun. Or once he, you know, decided he was going to be an adult, that was kind of it, right? He like, or maybe are we to assume that as he got older and actually became an adult, he just.
got more serious the older he got I think as a 13 year old he was still fairly fun yeah does she know does Moira know that he's Peter Pan and that like Wendy is Wendy and she creeps out by it I don't know if she was ever told, like, the entire story. Yeah. I feel like she kind of knew that Wendy was Wendy, but didn't know about Peter. I don't know. I feel like there's some gray area there as to what can be implied and what can be assumed about it. Yeah. Well, I loved Wendy. I mean, Maggie Smith is... She does no wrong. She's my favorite, and she was great in the movie. I loved the part... One of my favorite parts, I actually got a little misty-eyed, was whenever they had, like, the charity function where they're honoring her, and then all the orphans slowly start standing up and, like, bowing to her and telling her thank you for, like, helping them, you know...
kind of succeed in life, and she just looks so touched by it. It was so nice. I usually get misty out there, too, but I cried everything, and I usually cried multiple times. Yeah, she's a wonderful, she just, I was gonna say, she plays old ladies so well, which is just not a great compliment. But, yeah, the thing is, like, this movie was not well-received when it came out, which is surprising to me because, like, I feel like it was very, not controversial, but people liked it or people didn't like it. And people forget that it was a Steven Spielberg movie also. And that it has, like, Maggie Smith and Robin Williams and Julia Roberts, who were all, like, huge stars in the 90s when this was made. So it's kind of surprising to me that it wasn't, like, I feel it was well-received by our generation, but anybody else was kind of like, it's all right. Yeah. I wonder why. I mean, I liked it. I think it was, like, goofy, like it would be for a little kid watching it. Maybe it just didn't, like, I don't know.
I liked it a lot, but I think I probably understand some of the criticisms of it. I think the pacing is pretty bad on it. It takes a long time to get there, and like Renee was saying, you have Robin Williams in the title role, and he doesn't become his goofy self until the last half hour. i'm conflicted because the thing i like about it is it's not just a remake of peter pan it's a new story but it's still kind of the same story it because you were talking about i don't know how to explain this but you're like oh we don't get to see what happens after peter pan in neverland we still didn't really we just came to the point where he's boring and then he goes through like a similar process it's kind of my what i thought about is like okay they made the prequels to star wars and we saw anakin become darth vader but i feel like everybody wanted to see darth vader's rise to power and it's similar for me with this movie it's like i would have liked to see Peter Pan leave Neverland and become the old man, too. I feel like there's a chunk missing from this story. Yeah. And it's just still kind of a repeat of Peter Pan, except there's extra characters this time. Yeah. Yeah, that's fair. But the extra characters are pretty cute. They're pretty great. Again, I loved the movie, but I can see why some people would be like, I don't know, it's just the same thing. Oh, sure. Yeah. Episode 7. Right. Dan said Star Wars Episode 7. Yeah. It's new, it's different, but it's the same thing.
Yeah, I agree with that. I think when I was little, I mean, this is, we talked about this when we were talking about Jaws. But this is, again, a movie I hold really, really close to me and my dad. And so, like, this is one of the movies I grew up in. It's something that, like, because I think the whole thing about him forgetting, like, about who he was and where he came from is kind of like a way of commenting on how, like, as we get older, we forget what it's like to be a kid. Yeah. And, like, what it's like to let loose a little bit and not care so much and not get caught up in money and, like, being an adult and what real life is. And my dad was always really, and still is, like, a big propagator of, like, have fun.
Yeah. Like, don't worry so much. Like, and, you know, enjoy your inner child. And I think it speaks a lot to that idea. And it's now that we're like, I think watching it now when I'm 28 and I'm like watching, I'm like, damn, I wish I could just go have a food fight and like not give a fuck. Yeah. Yeah. Hope it's okay to just throw out the F word in there. But yeah, didn't know how kid friendly this was supposed to be. Kids love this podcast. Oh, man. Well, yeah. On a similar note to that, I was very touched by.
it's, it's Moira talking to Peter and she says something and she's like, you know, they are begging for your attention right now. And we only have a few years like this left before they get older and they want nothing to do with you anymore. So you gotta like take it where you can because you're going to regret it later. And I mean, obviously I don't have any kids, but I think about that stuff all the time. Like you just can't get so caught up in what's going on with you when you have children, you have to, you know, you really can't get that time back if you lose it with them. And I don't think, I mean.
I'm very lucky to have the parents I do, but I think some parents probably end up regretting the priorities that they have at the time instead of making it about their kids or having fun or any of that stuff. Even though I'm not a parent, I could relate to that. Yeah, I mean, I think it just speaks so much. I don't know, I've seen this movie so many times, and as I get older, it always tends to mean more than just, like, you know, going, like, enjoying your childhood. Because as I get older and I'm thinking about, like, wanting a family and, like, being an adult and, like, always still, like, wanting to enjoy, like, all the things that are fun and good, it just makes me realize, like, it says so much about time and that transition between, like, when you become an adult. I still, I don't feel 28. I don't think I've ever felt my age in my life. Yeah. And I think, in a way, like, I get really hung up and I relate to it so well on the point of, like, making everything count.
making everything mean something. Not that we need to get into like a deep tangent here, but it's just like, I don't know. I just always think about how important it is to remember to like, like not take everything so seriously. Yeah. I think improv helps with that too. We're all in this community where we get to play pretend on stage and act like little kids and jump around and be very silly. And it's, I mean, me personally, I feel like that helps keep me feeling fun and carefree. If it was just my job and didn't have this as a hobby, I'd be miserable. You know, nice to have that. Obviously Kevin Hook is evil.
But I'm relating it to this conversation. He's evil, but I honestly felt like he was the most vulnerable character in this movie. And they illustrated him so much better than any other thing because he was just this old man that was afraid of time, time going after him. And all he wanted to do was hold on to a sense of adventure so he didn't feel his age. Yeah. I realize he kills kids, but he has the most like...
hard-hitting fears and emotions on anybody in that movie or at least they're like symbolic and cool it's like he doesn't he wanted a son and he wanted to have fun that's all he wanted but he's a murderer so it's like very conflicted yeah well i think that shows a lot too at the end when they take his wig off yeah and you see him as this like old fragile crippled man who's just trying like you said trying to hang on to like his sense of adventure and his sense of fun is like instead of just aging um and i was always wondering about him how he came to be old in a place like neverland I was curious about his story as well, and I think you're absolutely right in saying he's a super vulnerable character. And Dustin Hoffman, I always think he's a genius when he's on stage or on film, but I always thought that this was a really great character. He just did it really well. He crushed it. I loved it. The thing about that character is he was so extravagant, but if you actually take a moment to listen to all the things he's saying, it's like, yeah, man, I totally get where you're coming from. He'd be like, the only adventure I have left is death. Stop me. Please stop me. Stop me from killing myself. That whole scene, I love that scene. I was just saying, don't stop me. Don't stop me. No, but really, please stop me. You're going to let me kill myself. How dare you let me do that, yeah.
Oh, that was great. Dustin Hoffman's incredible. I have not really seen that many movies with Dustin Hoffman, but Stranger Than Fiction, I love him in Stranger Than Fiction. He's so good in that. That whole thing they talk about, like, am I a Gollum? Are you a Gollum? They do that whole interaction. I always remember that from that. Oh, in Stranger Than Fiction? It's such a small, weird conversation. Are you now or have you ever been a king? Things like that. I'm just trying to narrow it down. Believe it or not, you are not a character from thousands of classic books. I just determined you are not Mary Shelley's Frankenstein. You are not this. So good.
He's so great. Yeah, I love that part, too. I've had that thought before, and this is kind of similar, where if Hook didn't have Peter Pan, his life doesn't really mean much. I think about, okay, once a superhero conquers the evil supervillain, what left is there for him to do? You have to have that foil to yourself. Captain Hook needs Peter Pan in order to be Hook.
And Peter Pan kind of needs Hook in order to be Peter Pan. They have to be at battle with each other or else what's their life about? You die the hero or you become the villain. That's why we need to see a prequel, not a sequel, to see Captain Hook when he was a good guy and why he became an old sad man. Hello, Spielberg, you're still alive. I think that's what that movie Pan is about that came out recently. Well, fuck Pan.
Just saying. I haven't seen it. It looks interesting to watch, but I don't know what the quality of the movie is. I don't think it was very well received. Well, neither was Hook, so we should try it. Great. I did like Peter Pan's whole backstory, though. I had never heard any of that before. I don't know if that's part of his storyline in the original. Oh, yeah. That was weird. Yeah, like his mother was sitting on a bench and his crib rolled away. Yeah, exactly. His crib rolled away and then was taken in. Well, he said he ran away. Yeah. And then it just showed a carriage falling down a hill. I'm like, did you make that happen?
That was kind of confusing. He's like, I wanted to hold on to my youth desperately, so I ran away, and she was an infant in the carriage. I've never heard that before. Not even able to hold up his head, and he's running away. Get the hell out of here before I grow up, goddammit. But I'll tell you, okay, so I really have not seen the whole movie before, but I did see one piece of it. I remembered as I was watching it, I saw this one clip on TV when I was probably 12 or 13. I was right in that stage, and I saw young Peter Pan come through and kiss Moira, and I was like, who is that actor? He's so cute. I didn't see the whole movie, but that one point in my brain, I was like, oh my god, who is this? What is this?
and then the rest of the movie was Robin Williams, and I was like, oh, forget it, click. No, I don't know what actually happened, but I do remember seeing that clip of whenever he came in, and it was like Gwyneth Paltrow aging, and then he came in to see Moira, and I just didn't really understand it until I watched the whole movie, but that was an interesting piece of it. That's another part of the movie where I always get a little teary-eyed, and then he's thinking of his happy thoughts, and he thinks about when he became a father, and that always makes me misty-eyed. I just, that whole part is, there's so many emotional parts of this movie, even though there's such a sense of fun about it. And I just think that it's so, it just encapsulates so many different moments of a person's life that you can be like, oh, I totally relate to that. Yeah. Oh, I get it. And that never gets old to watch. Because I think it's always like, there's so much in there for kids and then there's so much in there for adults as well. Yeah. Yeah. One of my favorite scenes of this movie, like favorite scenes of movies ever, is the food fight scene. Uh-huh. I...
I've always wanted to, like, reenact that scene. That was great. Even when he's like, God, he ate more than this. Like, there's just so many dumb things that are said, and it's just like, I don't know. That scene, whenever I watch it, I always just, like, I can't help but smile throughout the entire thing. Yeah. Yeah. I love it. Yeah, I did not know where it was going, but I thought it was really cool that it's just like, once you allow yourself to imagine that happening, there's all the food in front of you, and we can all see it, too, at the same time. I don't know. It was great. I just want all that rainbow slop. Right?
Everything was rainbows there, and it looked so good. It was like, what would you do from Nickelodeon? These big whipped cream pies with rainbow colors and stuff. It was awesome. What a great show. That was great. Yeah, let's talk about what would you do. Do you remember that? I loved all of the Lost Boys. They were all precious. And, like, they all had their own little distinct personalities. Thudbutt was fucking adorable. He had his little pom-pom hat beret on, and he could roll himself into a ball. Oh, yeah. He got stuffed.
That stuffed dummy that they just rolled down a hill. It was crazy. It was like Sonic the Hedgehog. It was so funny. His mouth was wide open for most of that movie. Just with a huge smile on his face. So cute. I wonder what that guy's doing now. We should find out where Thudbud is. Yeah. If he's listening, come hang out with us. Go bowling and he could just not use a ball.
So cute. I bet there's a lot of things you could do if you yourself could turn into, like, a giant ball. Oh, my God, so much. Forget public transportation. Just roll down the street to work. I guess a man of, like, Indiana Jones running away from him. Yes. You know what? That's got to be a gif already. Indiana Jones running down the tunnel and somebody put Thudbutt behind him. We'll make it. We'll find it. We'll find it. If we don't find it, we'll make it. Julie, you mentioned before we started that there's a secret person in the movie. Well, there's a lot of weird cameos in this movie. Like, Phil Collins is in it. I don't know if you got that. What is that one? Gwyneth Paltrow. It was her first movie. And then the secret person.
Do you remember the guy who goes into the boo box? Yes. Do you have any idea who that actor is? He's actually a very famous actor. He's a guy that's like, oh yeah, I didn't believe in you. Yeah, yeah. I don't remember. This is like one of those trivia things that everybody should know. I couldn't figure out who it was, but I remember thinking that person's probably important. I don't know who it is. I can't remember his face. Who was it? That is actually Glenn Close. No! What? That is so strange. What? Okay, I'm going to have to look at the picture again. And like every time...
I remember who that is and I look at him like, oh, they did such a good job with makeup and stuff. And she clearly disguises her voice. But she doesn't really serve more importance than trying to establish the kind of villain that Hook is and how powerful and how fear-mongering he is. But yeah. I'm looking at a picture right now. That is so crazy. I would not have guessed that was Glenn Close. I could see it. It's like Cruella de Vil if she had a beard and was an old man. When I was little, the idea of getting put in a boo box was probably my greatest fear of all. Yeah, that was terrifying. They put scorpions in there. That's not cool. I remember thinking, like, what would be the worst thing to put in there? I don't know why my mind would think about that as, like, a seven-year-old. But it was like, you know, snakes, rats, scorpions were pretty big, you know. Yeah. I think it's just so funny how cruel and dark.
captain hook is and then he turns around and is like really silly and like puts together a baseball game for this kid for jackie i love that scene that was so fun my favorite part is when they're like he's stealing second and he just shoots the guy like no we must play by his rules yeah that was amazing that was great there was another thing like that where somebody shot their gun to shoot like a book or something yeah it's a checkbook yeah it's just like so nonchalantly like well that happened yeah let's move on people die all the time there what do you think about rufio Oh, I commented that if I had seen this movie when I was, the full movie when I was a teenager, I would have been obsessed with Rufio because he's so cute, good looking, which is weird to say as a 26-year-old. Yeah, but how old is he now?
It's probably in his 30s. You gotta see what these kids look like now. I did look up a picture of him. He's still very handsome. Yeah. Okay. I was hoping he was real ugly and then killed the guy. We don't know that, but he's handsome. I mean, I always thought the bright red tights underneath the ripped jeans were pretty like, oh, what a badass. Ooh. Yeah. And then when they do pants in and it's like, oh, it's over. The image is broken now. Yeah, yeah. Because no boy looks great in just bright red tights. I don't know. When she said everyone, she means everyone. Or no one. Thanks for your support, dear. You can try it.
I can skateboard and play basketball at the same time. And my hair's long enough to turn into a red skunk hairdo. I can be Rufio. Okay. I did love that. I loved the very, like, dated, like, cool guy Lost Boys thing where, yeah, they're all on skateboards and, like, breakdancing and playing basketball. It was a pretty timeless movie except for the Lost Boys are cool because they skateboard and play basketball with a chain link hoop. What would it be now? Like, what would be the cool thing now for them? Like a hoverboard? Riding hoverboards. Tweeting. Tweeting. I have 8 million followers. Doing, instead of breakdancing, doing that, like, weird finger dance shit? Do you know what I'm talking about? No.
People do. I just tried to do it and all my fingers just popped. They all cracked. Yeah, check out my cool youth. Yikes. Okay, well, maybe I'm too cool for you guys. Kids love this show. Oh, boy. Oh, well, we haven't even talked about Tinkerbell. Julia Roberts? The most heartbreaking storyline of this whole movie. She's so sweet. I mean, that whole character was just so sweet. Yeah, and I felt like she was a character that never got what she wanted ever. Yeah. No way. Which is so sad. It's just because she tries so hard. She just wants everybody to be happy and then she ends up being the character that never gets fruition from all the things she wants, which is...
She's like, check me out. I could be full size. Oh, no. Oh. Okay, well. She basically just switched to full size, like used her wish to switch to full size to give him a kiss. He's like, oh wait, I gotta go save my kids that I don't have with you. Yeah, and then she switches back to small again and she's like, well, guess that was it. And she seems satisfied, like, okay, so I did that. That's nice. Peter Pan was macking it with mad chicks in this movie. He made out with three mermaids. He made out with Tinkerbell. He's still got a crush for Grandma Wendy. It's just like, dude, you gotta reel it in a little bit. I get it. You're going after your youth, but you're also an adult. You gotta pick one lady, okay? It's 2016. Well, he does go back to his baby mama, so. Oh yeah. You know.
Hell yeah. Yeah. After he goes on a romp with underwater ladies. They were giving him breath. Oh, that was going on? Yeah. I'll write that down. They were blowing. It's going to be your excuse. No, baby, she was just blowing. No, I was traveling and I didn't have any air left. Take me back, please. I used to not, I used to not, whatever. Okay. I'm not going to cheat on you. No, you should go around wearing tights and see who wants to get you. I'm going to wear some red tights and go try and drown myself and see if I can get some action. Julie, what did you think?
Go on. I don't have a question right now. Excellent. I'm not the host. What do you think? Okay, so here is what I think. I know we had mentioned it earlier, how Robin Williams didn't really get to be silly until the end of the movie. And then when he was back to London, he was still just like this silly, silly man. And I was like, why does it have to be one extreme or the other? I know it's a movie, but I was like, there's a happy medium in between being a fucking lunatic and throwing your phone and digging it in the ground like a dog and just being an uptight guy who brings his assistant to videotape his son's game.
I don't know. Yeah, I mean, they don't, I can't say, you know, the best part of the movie is the amount, the arch. Take that whole sentence. You got it. You got it. Yeah. The character arch that he, that's a word now, it's just going to be a word. Yeah, yeah. That he goes through, I mean, it definitely goes from, yeah, like, clearly, like, far left to far right, so to speak. And, I don't know, I mean, I guess it always made sense to me that he came back a completely different person. Yeah. I mean, obviously, we don't see, like, a year later if he's the same.
But I think, you know, getting in touch with all the things that he used to be as a kid, which he probably was for a very long time. I don't know. That always made sense to me that he was like, fuck this phone. Yeah. And like hanging out with the dog in his house and for like a second, which I always thought was really fun. I like that. Yeah. And then, you know, I don't know. I just always, it's a very good point. I never really thought about it, but he's just like immediately like a completely different person at the end. But Robin Williams always, whenever he plays serious characters, I always find it so refreshing in a way. So like in the beginning, even though he's somebody that he never plays, at least up until that point, I didn't think he started doing like more serious roles. Yeah.
in his career. And he's always like the crazy guy, the weird guy, you know, the Mork guy. Yeah. And I just, it brought him down to be like a relatable human being, I guess. And the fact that he was like, he had a job, he had responsibilities. He had to be an adult.
and he didn't have the opportunity to be silly and fun in the beginning and and then going to me it made perfect sense yeah and i i get exactly what you're talking about but i guess for me it just didn't matter in the long run yeah i love him no matter what he does i always love him and i feel like um yeah i think the fact that we grew up with him a good bit it's you know that silliness will never go away one of the things in the hook that i was just thinking about was how they had him wax his whole chest and arm hair oh he's so hairy and i just keep thinking oh poor guy for like one scene where he has his shirt off They've waxed his whole chest. I never even thought about that. Yeah. Because he is such a hairy beast of a man. Yeah. Yeah. That just makes me think of that scene from like 40 year old virgin. Yeah. And I feel like that's probably what it was like for him. Probably exactly what happened. Unless they just shaved it first. I don't know. He was waxed. Yeah. Trust me. He was waxed.
Okay. I'm impressed he lost 40 pounds in three days. Yeah, right? He had a pot belly and then they like took it out of the way. That was pretty funny too. Well, in all fairness, he might not have been eating either. That's true. He was eating imaginary food. I didn't think about that. That's really funny. Oh man. So, okay. I want to go around. This is like, I'm afraid we're going to have to wrap up soon, but I definitely want us to each go around and say what our favorite scene was. So Pete maybe needs some time to think about it. Julie, do you need time to think about it? Or you got one? Yeah, you go first. Okay.
What's my favorite part of the movie? You're looking at me like I'm crazy. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. I was just wondering if you thought about it before you asked that question. No, I just want to know. I genuinely want to know what everybody thinks. Okay, I do have my favorite part of the movie, and we had already talked about it, but I love the part where it's just Wendy kind of maturing every time Peter goes in, and she's so happy to see him, and it's like years at a time she goes without seeing him, and then just surprise, he shows up, and she's so excited every time, and then it's, you know, the whole thing with him and Moira, too, where he finally meets her, and he's like, no, I'm ready to grow up now.
It's such a romantic idea that he just came and saw her. She doesn't even say a word to him. He just sees her sleeping and is like, no, I'm going to change my entire life for this person that I don't know. That's what I liked. It was sweet. My favorite scene is when Captain Hook tries to commit suicide as a cry for help.
It's bad that that was so funny, but it was. Yeah, but it was super funny. And then his bed comes down from the ceiling and he has a nightcap. Yes. It was the most enchanting Captain Hook scene in the movie. It was fun. I'd have to say, like, the food fight for me is probably my favorite scene, like I said earlier. I think it just, it so much conveys the entire spirit of, like, what Neverland is and what it's all about. Thinking about it, the scene that always, like, made me so mad and so sad as a child was when he was, like, picking who to take up his, like...
charge as Peter Pan when they were leaving, when he had his kids. He had to choose between the life he had and the life he's going to have. I remember as a child always being like, stay with the boys, forget your stupid kids. Because it always seemed way more fun. I feel a little differently about it now. But I remember, yeah. That always made me so sad to be like, you're giving it all off. Right.
He'll come back if he doesn't immediately forget about Neverland again. We'll see in Hook 2. There's not a Hook 2, guys. There might be. I wish. We should write our own screenplay about it. We can see where Thudbutt is. We can do Hook 2. Hell yeah. I think it should be called Thudbutt. Thudbutt, yeah. What a name. Oh, man. Can you imagine if, let's see, who would do it? Quentin Tarantino does Thudbutt? Oh, God. Or Wes Anderson. Oh, man. That would be crazy. Wes Anderson should do it. Everything would be so symmetrical. Aw, I love it.
Okay, on that note, on that image, why don't we go ahead and have our movie critics, Morty and Ava Rosenblum, come in. I believe you've spoken to them before, right, Julie? Okay, so it should be no surprise. You know what to expect. They're probably going to be a little cranky.
Here they are. Hello, sir. Miss Schmeerbeck, hello. Wonderful to see you. Hello, Morty, Ava. We have a confession to make. Yes. It's a long movie. I watched the first half, and Ava watched the second half. It was like a tag team on the naps. So we're going to have to figure out together whether or not we liked the movie. See, I loved it. You saw the second half? Yes, I saw Peter Pan flying around doing his thing. Okay.
Wow. Was I watching the right movie? Because I only saw Robin Williams watching a play, and then I stopped. Oh. That's the first half, right? Yes. Oh, dear. What? No, that's the right movie, I guess. Oh. Does that not line up with what you saw? Well, no. He was on his cell phone, and they were talking about a hospital, and I assumed it was just a movie about orphans or something. I saw no cell phone. I saw lots of big ships, and there was men with curly wigs on and little boys running around. What's the name of this movie, Julie? Hook. Hook. That's what I was watching. Oh, interesting.
We've got totally different things. I think there's a big disconnect that's happening right now. Oh, dear. Yeah. Marty, this was a terrible idea. We shouldn't have tag-teamed enough. We should have at least filled each other in before this. I don't know. I was interested in what was going to happen. I just wasn't sure what the movie was about.
Here's what happened. Robin Williams shaved his chest, right? Did he wax it or shave it? We don't know for sure. Now I do need to finish the movie to figure that out. And then he's all flying around because he's all smooth and aerodynamic with his hairless body. And he's flying and flying, and he goes and saves his kids, and they love him again. Oh, this is a movie about LSD. Yes, you got it. He seemed very frustrated at the beginning with his job. I assumed that it would get resolved, but I guess he just develops a drug problem. Yes, that's it. I think there was a theory, actually, about this movie that was saying that the character of Peter Banning might have just had a mental breakdown.
made this all up in his brain. Right, because he woke up, you missed this movie, he woke up and there was a bunch of little beer bottles around him and then this man is sweeping and is like, oh, a rough night, the missus is not going to be happy. That sounds like a conclusion to what I saw. Oh, dear. It seems like the middle two hours of this movie were unnecessary. We could have shown what I saw, put up a title card that says he gets addicted to drugs and then show the ending. Those little boys were so cute though. What little boys? Those little boys, there was one he had on a hat. There was another one he lived in an acorn. There was a third one who had a brother who looked just like him and they did the same thing at the same time. And there was one tall one who had a hair like a skunk, but a beautiful skunk.
He was very good looking, and I know I'm an old woman, so I shouldn't say that, but he rode a little skateboard with a wing on it. It was beautiful. Did this all happen in the airplane on the way to London? Maybe I was on drugs when I watched this movie. Maybe that's what happened. Does the name Thudbud mean anything to you? My God, watch your mouth. What? It's Holocaust.
It's all coming back. Bloodbuck. The one with the hat and he rolled around like a little bowling ball. That's it. The movie. I saw it. I'm not crazy. Ava was in a coma for 15 years. You don't know this about her. But she has flashbacks to things that never happened. Never happened. Never. Never, never then. Peter Pan. Whee!
What do you rate of the movie, Morty? I'll give it 1.5 old cell phones. Out of how many old cell phones? 84. Whoa, that's a low score. That's not fair. It was one of the worst halves of a movie I've ever seen. Oh, dear. I'm rolling my eyes. You can't tell. I can see you. Oh, well, in that case. Hey, I give this movie four out of eight imaginary plates of food. So, because I only saw half of the movie, I can only score it by half, but the half that I saw, I got the full score. You gave it a perfect score for whatever you saw. Yes, yes, yes.
I liked it. Julie, I think I already know what you scored it, but let us know. I'm going to score it all of Toodles Lost Marbles. Oh, Toodles! Oh, Toodles? Noodles! Pasta! I'm hungry! Get me out of here! Gladly.