Ep 15. Weaponising the Triangle: Part 1

This is the audio version of my written article on weaponised triangulation and what happens when you find yourself caught in these dynamics. Often, you just know something feels off. Someone else is being praised, included or treated with a warmth you do not receive, and instead of questioning the dynamic, you question yourself. I have experienced both sides of this with spiritual teachers. I have been pushed to the edges while somebody else received the attention and recognition withheld from me, but I have also been the person receiving it. Experiencing both taught me something important. When somebody makes you feel particularly seen, valued or chosen, their approval can become something you unconsciously depend upon. When it is withdrawn and given to somebody else, you can find yourself trying to win it back without ever consciously choosing to compete. The real question then becomes not, “Why are they choosing them instead of me?” but “Why has this person been given so much power over whether I feel valued?” In this audio version, I talk about: • How people can be quietly played off against each other • Why one person becomes the favourite while another becomes the problem • What it is like watching someone else receive a completely different version of the same person • Why the other person may genuinely have no idea what you are experiencing • How these dynamics can also play out between spiritual teachers and their students • Why scapegoats can end up trying even harder to earn the approval that keeps being withheld • Why you may start comparing yourself to someone you never wanted to compete with in the first place • How your eventual anger or withdrawal can then be used to say, “See, this is what they are like” • Why being repeatedly told you are imagining things can make it incredibly difficult to trust what you see • The difference between trusting your instincts and assuming you always know exactly what is going on • How we begin to step out of these triangles altogether Because one of the most painful parts of being the scapegoat is not simply being treated differently. It is being treated differently and then being made to feel there is something wrong with you for noticing it. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit divinitywithin7.substack.com/subscribe