Oh, it's that time of year again, sweet cheap show listener, where Eli and my good self, trying to deliver something horrific for your Halloween pleasures. However, this year I used to do an intro because, as you're about to hear, meaning you like your own ghost on this year, and when I started editing the podcast, weird things happened. So basically, I would put the audio in and find out all the audio we recorded inside Avenue House had big chokes of audio missing, like a 17 minute track and like minutes of it, completely silent and then it kicks back in again. Don't know why?
Hasn't missed much, but it doesn't mean I've had to cut around the gaps where me and Eli will talk about something and now that's not scum forever. Also, for time, vigils and things have cut down considerably because no one really wants to hear a seven hour podcast about people sitting in the dark asking ghosts to step forward. So, with all that said, I hope you enjoyed this year's Halloween. It's an interesting one, but if you ever watched Motorn didn't thought, oh, it must be exciting doing Motorn did, well then this is the episode to prove that wrong.
Enjoy. Welcome dear listener. What's the date? What's the date?
I don't know, 27, 6. Shit. 26. I told you.
I told you. It's 26. Good evening dear listener and welcome to the cheap show. Don't do that.
Don't pull the sound out and make the noise. Don't do another intro now. No professional that sounds. Not very.
Well, start again and don't include this bit then. I'm tiring with you already. Honestly. I'm excited ladies and gentlemen.
I'm very excited because tonight dear listener for Halloween special on this Saturday, the 26th of October, 2019, Eli and I will be doing a genuine paranormal investigation. Can I say just ready? I've packed stuff ready to do it. What have you packed?
Well, you know. No, I don't. That's why I asked the question. I packed pool.
Yeah, you packed pool. No. You're the fucking mic pool. I've packed my Kindle, my phone, a jumper.
Is there anything else I'm missing? Because you, I have to defer to you as the ex-daughter. You're the ex-daughter. The expert.
I'm just going along. Will I be scared? Will I be convinced of the supernatural tonight pool? We can only hope, ladies and gentlemen.
Are you hoping to convince me of the existence of the city? No. All I want to do is give you the experience I've had on many occasions at multiple occasions across the UK. And what's that?
Wanking by yourself whilst the thrill of other people walking around in every building. It's a very small part of what I enjoy about it. It's a very small part. Do you enjoy?
It's seriously, Paul, now. You're not a believer. And you've never been convinced of anything. I've heard unusual things and seen unusual stuff, but nothing that would go as far as to convince me of the supernatural.
I think that's a valid place to be. Alright. So what do you get out of them then? You might not mind seeing a ghost.
But you never have. And you've never been convinced by anything you've just seen what I mean. I'm trying to sort of uncover a kind of... You know what it is.
It's like you. My treat goes something like you. A fucking mystery. I need to get to the bottom of.
I don't believe in you. Stop talking. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to... We're in that.
We're in my house. Yeah? Welcome to, ladies and gentlemen, the cheap show. Halloween Special 2019.
Ooh, what? I'm just gonna go into the music then. I'll ask you something. What kind of shoes should I wear?
Don't have fun. Shug, shug, shug. Shug, shug, shug. Don't get picked up by the mic.
We're in a nice house. We're going to have a new house. Right. So I presume it's not gonna be wet or cold or anything.
It'll be chilly. You won't have to worry about walking in puzzles or dirt or like. Do you have night vision goggles? Maybe night vision goggles.
They may be. I can't say it's a different group. I'll go into more details about what we're doing on the journey. But for now, let's...
Shug, shug, shug. Tell them what buses we're getting. No. Ladies and gentlemen, we're gonna get two buses out there.
One is one of which is the 263, I believe. You're so excited by absolute inanity. Glad to say as well, yeah. I'm actually more excited about getting the bus than arriving at this place.
Great. What a great start to the evening. I'm excited. Ladies and gentlemen, join us for the cheap show Halloween Ghost Horns.
Right. I do have something for you though. I've got your torch. Because there's gonna be no lights on.
I've got extra batteries for it. It should need to be. I've got one. No.
It might be... I might have to replace the batteries. But that's okay because Paul Gannon bought batteries. They're gonna be powerful enough for the night.
Nice action on it. He got me two pounds. Alright then. So I will say...
I mean you could, but why would you have a need to wax on one? It's actually in the dark or something. Or if someone tried to murder us tonight, Paul. That's what I'm talking about.
Yeah. I think you're quite safe. I don't think you are. How do you know?
Do you have a list of who's gonna be attending? I don't. How do you know someone's not gonna try murder us in some bizarre crime? Because that sounds like we're about to drop a plot into this episode and we're not.
Yeah. Because we know what happens when you drop a plot. People take it too seriously and think, well I don't fuck puppets. I don't fuck puppets.
We're still friends. We're all still friends. It's just make-believe you fucking cubs. That's called the listen shit.
Annamill. Annamill. Annamill. I'm generally ill.
I think I've got exhaustion and I've got a cough and flam and I've got a shake. Yeah. So. Let's not take it easy tonight.
I'll deal with all the heavy lifting in terms of presenting it, introducing the theme, sort of the show tonight. Maybe we need some talk about other stuff that just go usually in the show like Noodles on the Way or buses. Oh god, this is going to be our work that I mean special, isn't it? Because there's a good chance we'll do a lot tonight.
We're not like most haunted, we're going to be banging and screams and stones being thrown all the time. It'll probably be quite sedate. A lot of people talking in the dark asking for voices on Ouija board. We might have to do loan vigils.
I'm going to do a loan vigil. I want to do a loan vigil and I want you to direct me to the most supernaturally active part of the building. You think you can do that for me, Paul? If I remember rightly, there are two places we can go and if you get the time you might get some loan time there.
One is a torrent bedroom where a boy's meant to haunt. I need some loan time in the haunt. If I catch you wanking at the venue, I'll watch you. I'll watch you.
You watch it on your night vision goggles. Yeah, I'll go be sick. Paul, you need to. You need to have a little rest.
No. I've got all the equipment we need. Hopefully we'll be giving a quick one with her. You've got some equipment.
Night vision goggles, hopefully. You've got people with pieces of skin on. What are you imagining? I'm imagining a filthy pair of night vision goggles with some old canned skin on it.
You're hanging off all the way on the side. Oh, hanging off. Well, that's enough for this introduction. Oh, no.
It never will be enough. Why is it flashing? Because you're shouting really loudly, close to the mic. We're setting off from my home.
What buses are you lysing? That's anything I can engage you today. I forgot which ones. Two buses.
Two. I know there's two. We go up there. Up, up, up.
Up, up, up. Up, up. Up, up. Yeah.
You're ready to go. We're on the way. We'll get the buses and we're on our way. I'm all packed and ready to go.
We've got torches. I've got the phone. We've got charge. We've got the battery.
I've got the power pack with me. I've got the coffee. Oh, oh, oh. You're having a cup of coffee.
I'm going to go to the Lazy We've done one bus, that was the 29. It's not my favourite bus, although it's very useful. What would you say about that? One of those lifeline buses, isn't it?
It's one of those ones that gets you to make the beef with a little London. I don't know about you, but I find when I get on the 29, especially around here, people have a real propensity to not want to go upstairs. And so the whole front of the bus gets jammed with moody people, who type when you... They're turning in the way, man.
They should just go upstairs and you get up there and the whole fucking... Bus is empty! It's empty, the type of deck is empty! And what bus will be getting now?
Well, welcome to this week's episode of Bus Watch with Eli Silverman. How exciting. There's been Hornsey buses? Yeah?
Well, name one. There's Hornsey bus with Penn Zance. That might be your weakest effort to date Mr Silverman. You can see it up there.
So, yeah, we are at the bus stop. Wait until the 23-2, which initially we just missed. If I were the traffic away, it's probably going to walk ahead and cause it at the next bus stop. It's right there.
At this rate, we could outpace it. When's the next one? Oh, this little beeping sounds in the ear. It must be some interference.
Ah, two minutes, actually. It's all right, that's very good, isn't it? That's good for a bus to take that long, two minutes. It's really a small bus as well, it's one of those big ones.
It's a small bus. Jam-pack with, uh... It's really towards those suburbs, we'll be full of people partying in the suburbs. So, I'm hoping we can have quite a smooth and empty ride up to the venue, Paul.
I wish I could have a smooth ride up to the venue. Oh, yeah? As in what? Peggin'.
Shut up. That's your week, it's fuckin'. It's always, you're always week. You're always week on this.
I'm excited tonight, though. You're in my world, Naomi. Oh, I've lived in your filthy mochole for years. Yes, but you need to, um...
You're very unwell. So, I'm going to fight through me. What do you think of your unwell? That could be a vulnerability to a side...
A ghost attaching itself to you. No, I'm not vulnerable because I've had a smell flow for me tonight, protecting me. Basically, I spoke to Witch Doctor, right? And I took...
You haven't. You can be all here, you're making this up. And he asked me to take a lock of your hair. What was he called?
Witch Doctor Alan Babs. Alan Babs. Really? Yeah.
Alan Babs. I've got to look this guy up. Well, no, cos he's a magic Witch Doctor. And he won't...
Oh, Christ. Alan Babs is correct. Two... Centurathels.
Oh, my favourite of the girls. So, we're on the bus. You just let us get on. You know what, Paul, I've realised.
I think this is one of the buses we got home from Brent Cross. You went to that wonderful Magic Land with Asian food, you were so happy about... I was happy about that. You're happy to have seen you on Cheep Show there.
Really? You were like, Homer Simpson in Candy Land. Great insight there from the King of Muck, Eli Silverwood. So, let's just settle down into the journey.
Relax. Tonight's going to be a wonderful magical night. Who knows, maybe... Oh, I wanted to ask you something about the Supernatural Paul, because I'm going to defer to you as the expert on these matters.
For now, tonight. So, if there's a haunted house yet, and it has some... Is it my lab and a pea? Quick.
A haunted house, Paul. So, it has a lot of energy, psychic energy. Yes, potentially. If you leave and search anything.
If one was to take another... An object that had some, that had some also, connection to the Supernatural, would it use... would it use... would it use...
would it use... would it actually use an amplifier for the energy? Perhaps making that the object you brought more powerful as a Supernatural Total with some sort. There are theories that suggest you could amplify the Supernatural with relics and things like that?
No, but I'm asking about this place. Did this have the energy to give something an object of boost of Supernatural or evil power? No, it's not Amityvall. where if you buy a lamp from the house, your house becomes haunted, or if you buy a doll house from the house, your house gets haunted, or if you buy a clock from the house, your house gets haunted.
That's bringing, potentially, an item for the outside. It sounds like drugs, it's like can I get stoned in it and get smoothed out, is that what you're saying? You're now, but. Now, let's just have an update on the bus situation here, Paul.
Oh my god. Now, although it is extremely brightly lit, at this point we are alone on the bus. Through the busy wood lane, but it could change at the next stop. Oh, wood lane.
Could you stop calling it wood lane? Wood treat. Fuck off. Wood green, you know it.
The other thing I was going to mention before the bus came was the witch dog, Adam Habs. He asked me to take a lock of your hair, and he says, if I take it. Well, no, he said, if I eat a lock of your hair, lock my hair up, that's really late. That's really late.
I'm just riffing here. Don't. Bad at it. It's going to be booze there.
No. The only spirit, hopefully, there will be the supernatural kind. No. So, I eat a lock of your hair, and I'm protected from ghosts.
You eat a lock of your hair, and we do that. I haven't done it. I've never decided to say to that. So, I'm protected, but as a result, it makes you susceptible to sleep and actual.
In fact, you, Eli Silverman, may bring something back with you from the haunted house tonight. Should it be an active entity, an active haunted location? Oh, I'm prepared to be convinced. I mean, my personal take on the Zooten Actuaries, I've never...
Have you never had any supernatural experiences in your life at all? No. That's fair enough. I had to go out of my way to find my way.
I've been cleared. I've been creeped out by places by being in the dark and stuff, but I think everyone is, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah, that is true.
Isn't they? Well, isn't they? Well, we're going through wood green shopping centre, and I'm realising that my slightly strained sore throat is making my voice sound extra sexy to those. It's an unwell-made.
It's a sexy, super-natural show. It's a Halloween episode, so we are talking about the macabre. Can I just point out, go... Look at those flats up there.
Yeah. There was a documentary a few years ago, you remember, about a woman who was found in a flat dead after three years? In there? Yeah.
She was like, not an old woman. She was like, not an old woman. Not an old woman, no. She was like a puddle of muck.
Puddle, I thought she was a puddle. But, kind of been that bad, actually, because no one smells it. That's what usually happens. But, it's a documentary film I could use that story as a way of exploring how people need really weird and lonely lives.
And, you know, you could be this woman. Not an old woman, just this person. And she had relationships and stuff, but just, you know, no one... Life forgot her.
It was really eerie and depressing. It's not like what they say. It's scary, isn't it? Dying alone.
Get used to that, mate. Fuck off. Just saying. It's more likely.
It's more likely, isn't it? That you'll die for God. It's a bit of a bit of a picture about who's going to die like that. Actually, it might be me first, don't you, by all this?
Yeah, by the first. Which I prefer. Obviously. Well, this is taking quite the term, ladies and gentlemen.
Well, just a minute, right? We are good friends. One fifth thing was just, lots of fun fun. And again, I need to stress, I don't for can puppets.
I shouldn't have to defend her. I just don't. I shouldn't. So, you know...
You're more of a full-size animatronic. And a sex-doll man. Four working orifices. Don't know what they are.
Bam-al. Fanny-al. Great. Extra bam-al.
Ee-it. Yeah, that's it. That's spot-on. No.
Bam-al. Did they have special bum attachment for the mouth? Well, you threw in that. Should we just relax on the journey?
If anything comes with anything... Stop eling me as well, please. No, honestly, do stop. Well, I'm in tinker mode tonight.
I'm in tinker mode. It's not for drinking any sort. No, well, we can probably find someone on the way. I'm parched.
I'm very parched. This is... but this bus goes the whole way. Turn it off.
No. Do what I want. And now deciding to turn it off. I don't know how this bus goes.
Why? I'm irritable. I'm really irritable. He's egg-alilter.
You look when I got on the bus. I agree. And now he's like darling, darling. And then it's like fucking announce you're on a diversion.
It's like a whole bus. Only three of us. We weren't on the bus, though. He just ignored us and just asked her.
He doesn't catch us. He's... but... It's all right.
Hey, have you seen this, though? The bus has got USB charges on it. Oh, he's got some of them, isn't it? Anyway, we're going to East End Road, eventually, on this route by diversion.
Now, he's diverting. He says it's round, bound-screen-way. Yeah, which is this area, then. No, it's still a few...
Speak the way. Not streets. It's like a full... It's just an empty...
...fucking correct, Neil. Christ. Ding-ding. We're off an hour away, apparently.
Yes. Good. Oh, he's going on. He's telling everyone.
It's probably for the best of it. It means it'll be empty the whole way, maybe. Well, it's exciting for us. Now, let's get back to just not recording.
Now, we're going to just keep on moving, because that's not normal behaviour from a man in the middle of nowhere, is it? Yeah, but we're not going that way. We're heading up towards Finchley Road House. We're just hanging around.
Looking at the tree. Stroking the tree, though. Yeah, weird. I thought he was maybe getting something out of the branch.
Well, no, he's just stroking the branch and the leaves and letting them... It's all a bit greppy around here, as we said. Well, it's kind of like, I was saying, the bus is nowhere in London where just the place exists between the more popular areas. With houses and gyms.
It's about... You want some information on Avenue House? Yeah. Avenue House at Stevens House in Gardens is a large Victorian mansion, great tool listed.
Situate on East End Road, in the London borough of Bonnet. We're walking down East End Road now. Here we are. Built in 1859 on land formula is Temple Croft Field.
It was acquired in 1874 by the Inc, Magnate and Philandropist, Henry Charles Stevens. No, Miss Inky, what's that? Oh, it's a branch. Oh, God.
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. The improved the grounds. Why are you holding it? We'll get into that.
Spike Noggin statue. Oh, can we see that? Spike Noggin lived locally for many years after his death in 2002. He was the first present at the Finch Society for a decade after his death.
The society led by Barbara Warren, Ray Zwanz. The Spike Noggin statue from the Commissioner of Spike. This was casting in bronze. It's on the ground.
And it's on the ground. It's in the Stables block. At Avenue House. I didn't know that.
Maybe the ghost of... Spike Noggin said... So we can see that. I don't forget so much.
I think we've reached the grounds because this is a man. It looks like an old manna. House wall here. Yeah, we're not too far away.
This is the grounds. I'm sure this is the grounds. Sit on the other side of that wall. But who?
Who'd haunt it? Well, let's find out. Stable girl. Right, hang on.
Flask high gate. Stable girl. Shut up, you dirty rotten scoundrel. No, come on.
What's wrong with her? I don't know what. You don't think I'm happy to? Stable girl!
Please don't behave like this. What? I can't help but I'm being me. I'm excited.
We're in Finchley. There's a location, apparently, judging by one of these websites that says you have to keep your wits about you. Not to mention a strong nerve. The seller has enough shocks and scores for anyone, Ray, for an off to carry a l on their own.
Not to mention the rooms that leave you wanting to run when things start to happen. Go something and have a new house for anyone who can enjoy the intense activity. The spirits have been seen here. They're in their best to test your belief system.
It's an active old mansion with much to offer anyone who dares to spend the night. So there you go. That's exciting, isn't it? They'll probably go through it tonight, most likely, because some of these groups have psychics and some don't.
So I'll be interested to see if they say psychics or not tonight. Because they often fill in the gaps and nothing happens. You know what I mean? Yeah, with bullshit.
Yeah. Did you just fart? I'm not having that with them. That was windy.
Yeah, all your bad habits out of the way before we turn up. I'm not having you wanting to go and stay more girl. I'd say I'd do that in public. Don't, that's just for you.
You just did that in public. In the middle of the street. You behave. Yeah.
I am behaving. Considering my health. I'm doing very well. Still unnerved by that guy who was touching the tree.
The tree striker was straight after the out of the horoscope right of the robot, wasn't it? Yeah, I am. I'm the tree striker. Oh.
I must nurture the plant so they would do my bidding. Yeah. He did it. Strange, massive grey hair as well, didn't he?
A grizzled face. That is, uh, no, what is it? Some arches on this old church, isn't it? That's creepy.
That's to take his photo to that, Paul. I've never seen that before. Lord, why no one is four because... Oh, my God, it looks like a folly of some sort.
It's creepy though. Look at that. You saw a man peeking from the only arches. That would be genuinely scary, wouldn't it?
I'm going to take a shot and we can put it up on the... That is scary, isn't it? Well, if it was the tree striker. If I saw the tree striker in there now, I'd be freaked out.
I would not be happy. Hey man, to view from around the arch. Try and get someone to tour it in. It's hard.
Yeah, I know about that book. Try and take a picture. I don't know about you, but I'm feeling spooky right about now. Spooky little folly over there, isn't it?
That must be homeward gardens. There's a lot of venues up around this part of London, not me. Old man of houses, old church guards and things like that. Grave yards.
It's hard to miss. I wonder where it is. Oh, no, this is it, yeah. On the right.
Yeah, Stephen. It's grounds then, it looks like, wasn't it? Oh, yeah. That'll be it.
Do you want to have a sticky break before we go in, because we're going to have a chance to have a smoke once we get in there. Yeah. I think we're early anyway. And I'm a bit spooked because the tree stroker and the folly.
It's nine, just gone nine, so we want to. I think we're doing all right. Let's have a quick swipe there before we go in. Lovely.
Right, without our cigarette break. And we're out to go in. How's it looking? We're outside, Paul.
And as we've been here, just after we arrived, a group of people have arrived in a car, and I can see them milling around in there now. One of them looks like they have a big Dracula collar on, and one of them has very red hair. I think the lady with the red hair runs it. She's been very kind to us, and nobody just allows us to do this recording.
Like, streaming, like, I'm going to go mad and try and like do not say that. I'm just saying that I'm just saying for the listeners at home, like, Ghost Monsters allowed us to record our podcast like this. So, they're played to it. But yeah, there's also the good chance that it might have been fancy dressed tonight, and I've forgotten till right now.
Is that why that guy looks like Dracula? I think so too. What we're going to say? What's our excuse?
What do we look like? Ghost bin men. We could say we're in cosplay of the popular comedy podcast, cheap show. That's going to melt the 40 people's hate.
Look, I've got my ghost to show. That's all right. We get serious for a second here. That thing that we pass, the folly, the creepy folly, looks to be in the grounds.
It's quite an extensive ground. It's a ground building, isn't it? What are you hoping, as in terms of supernatural results tonight? If we can get some voices recorded or knocking or taps and things we can't explain, we can actually record that, that'd be great.
You know what, I got that gun fire sound when I was in that fort once, withly. I didn't know about that, but I know about that. No, bam, bam, bam. Oh yeah, there's the singing voice.
Yeah, I think I put that on Halloween or two. La, la, la. Yeah, we put that on Halloween or so ago. I believe that.
La, la, la, la. La, la, la, la. Right, well, I get it all right. It's just a ball.
My breath. Can we not? No, listen, Paul, no, in all seriousness now, I want to take this to the sku- Careful me. Seriously, I want to take this to the serious level.
Now, I'm hoping they'll have some kind of haunted mongoose or, you know, ferret. I don't believe there are any haunted animals here tonight. Why not? Because I want the animal to lean for a star.
I think that there was one. I wouldn't care. I want a haunted ferret called Mr. Job or something.
You're just because you've had a Jeff once. You're like the one who's Jeff. Yeah, I love like mongoose. Yeah, I'm hoping Jeff, you know, has a franchise.
That was all fake. Maybe like three. Oh, I'm a fly-under. I've got my fly-under.
No, good. We're all right. We're going to go in, announce ourselves, and then we'll probably, I don't know how it's going to go recording-wise. I've got a free line.
I've got one. We'll be given toys and stuff hopefully to use as well throughout the night, which is good. But we'll record as and when we can, whether we're doing vigils or we're doing loan stuff and we're alone, or it's just me and Eli together composing our thoughts. Either way, we're heading into Avenue House.
Let's do this. Okay. So we're going to be kicking off not too far from now, at 10 o'clock. We're all just mingling and there are people coming in.
And as I feel, everyone's in fancy dress bar, or space, because that's the fee people do. We're not the only ones not in fancy dress bar. We're just good. I hate us to be the only outliers tonight.
Some things I've noticed. There's a lot of females. These events tend to be very female heavy. More women want to do this than men.
Tell me more about that. More women believe in ghosts than men, I think. Stop it. What do they do?
Tell me what they do. What would you like me to say? I'll just say it would be easier. No, mate.
Great. Well, there's quite a lot of costumes tonight. There are vampires and witches. And there's a Regan from Exorcist, which is quite impressive.
Particularly impressive. It's uncanny, you might say. This is scary, none. And that's the none.
It's the none franchise, isn't it? Oh, the conjuring is the spin. It's the not as part of the conjuring universe. That's what she looks like.
I'll tell you what. We talked about my hope for some haunted animal, Malarkey. When we come in here, there's a big photo. The first one you come into, Paul.
It's very grand, black and gold gills. Black wood with gold gills. And there's a big picture. That must be the ink magnet.
Oh, yeah. Well, hold on. Let me read it. I actually read it.
Henry Charles Stevens. With his favourite horse, Chortleton. It's that ink magnet. And it's his favourite horse, Chortleton.
And their horse looks like it could be a phantom. Well, it's his favourite horse. And there is stables, so you don't know. Oh!
Yeah, because someone said stand there for hours while we paint here. It's nostrils. Look like they've got hell-firing them. There's a red poking out of the nostril.
Well, maybe tonight we'll see Chortleton, the spooky horse. And there's a lot of horses in folklore that have been haunted and lead men to their deaths. You want to make that up? No.
The ghosts are haunted or the ghosts are horses. They're not even ghosts. They're just sort of supernatural creatures. And they lead men to their death.
The form of a horse. That's where the nightmare comes from. Does it? Yes.
It's a mare, isn't it? It's a horse. A nightmare. I mean, okay.
It's a dead, deadly horse. But isn't there a painting called the night there which had a horse in it and a devil with a thin on a woman's? Where do you think he got that from there? I mean, I don't know.
But anyway, we're looking forward to spooky horse. Spooky. Spooky. I'll be using the word spooky tonight instead of the word spooky.
Because I need to appeal to a younger audience for cheap shop. And they like the word spooky. Do you need to appeal to a younger audience? Yeah.
It keeps us fresh and vital. Okay. We'll have to carry our bag around when we go around. I believe so.
But I think this place is really secure so we can probably just leave it here as well. I'll have to hang around. Alright. You talk like a trap with a bindle.
I've got something in my bag. Oh, is this that thing you tell me about that? You said I'll be disappointed when you tell me. Do we need to go next door while you tell me?