Hello Paul. Hello, Mr. Silverman. Welcome to our end of the year, Relax Fit.
Oh, relax. The episode of T-T-Charmelax. Where we're just going to pontificate and extrapolate and reminisce on the years gone by. I thought we'd have a year.
But the year, comma S, the year's gone by. The year, comma S, like it belongs to this year's. It belongs to the year. This year's this year.
The year's events. Yes. The year's events. Yes.
Not years. Not of the years. Not of the years. Over the years events.
Yes. The years of events. No, that's what I'm saying. You put the oven and it makes it different.
I'll put my oven. No. Yeah. Yeah.
Do you call your penis the off? Look at my off. Oh. Hello, darling.
Have you seen the off? Oh, this is not working, man. Not working. You're Paulie again.
I'm not Paulie. I'm hungover. Again. It's the festive season, Paul.
No, this is every week, every week, every episode. I would love to and actual fact go back over every episode this year. And see how many times I've said this. That's the times that you start with you going, Ah, I can't do this.
I can't do this, Paul. I can't do it. Ah, we are. It's fucking pathetic working with you.
Yeah, well, that's where the magic comes from. It's not where the magic comes from. That is where the magic comes from. Ladies and gentlemen, it is New Year's Eve as we record this.
It is indeed. We are going to reflect on the years. So hold tight, strap in, get suited, get booted, put on your shades, lock down, close the door, set the alarm. It's time for the cheap show review of the year.
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, with Jimmy Saval. I hate you and your fucking noodle posse. People love noodles. It's a fact that cheap show you're going to have to learn the fucking accent.
Cheese show. Up, round, round, round, and rock the cheap show. And a girl and a nuzzle. Yeah, I just thought we'd have a nice chill episode.
No, I saw those, no segments. No segments. I feel all untethered. Yeah.
Well, here's my tethering of segments. I want to start then by giving you something. OK? Yeah.
A portion. So I saw these. Are you going to give me a portion of something? No, I'll say, well, that's not going to happen.
I like a portion, Paul. Would you like a portion? Would you like? I'd like you to a portion with a slice of portion.
Would you like a slice of portion? You want, you like a slice of portion? You've got something for me. I've got something for you.
So these are on sale in a card shop. I got myself one and I got you one as well. Ooh. Just a little thing.
A card shop has in like a hallmark. Yeah. I can't give a name to the store. It's like scribble or something.
Maybe I can't remember now. Paper chase. Paper chase is more stable. But you know how I like pin badges?
As it doesn't. What I got myself, first of all. Oh, that's a nice pin badge. Oh, look at that.
That's what I got me. This is a, yeah, this is very good. I like it. It's a little calculator pin badge.
Yeah. Like old school to a calculator finish and chrome. So you think, oh, that's a nice calculator. But then you can see that the number that has been written into the display screen is 531-8008.
So that means nothing to me. He turned it upside down. What happens? It says boobies.
Hey. I remember doing that on a calculator. Yeah. It felt like you broke the code to reality when you go, look, Shell.
This is about Shell. It goes on and on and on. No mate. 531-8008.
That's the truth and you go boobies. Everything changes. Everything changes. I used to take the calculator home.
You click it, you cock it. You got it. You got it on the calculator. No.
I just went off over the word boobies in a toilet. What did you do? You take the calculator home. 8053180.
That's very nice. Very nice. Very nice. Pin badge.
Right next to that. You know on the subject of pin badges. We have cheap show pin badges. I've only let those left.
No. There's one or two. Long story short, I'm going to make some new ones. I've got one I wear one of mine proudly on my denim jacket.
Someone they said, oh, that's a really nice pin badge. It is a lovely pin badge. It's a lovely pin badge. It's a double pin, isn't it?
Double pin. It's got some width and girth. It needs double pin into your chest. It certainly does.
Anyway, here's the badge I found for you. Oh, I can't wait. Oh, is that Christmas? Oh, mate.
This is fucking excellent. Isn't it? I'm so easily pleased. This is a bowl of ramen.
Yeah. And it has a little chain dangling apart from it. And on that chain are the chopsticks. You can't really see the noodles, but you know they're down there.
You know they're there. They're the base. What you can see is two halves of an egg. Probably a tea stain deck.
Yeah. Why is it called tea stain or seasoned? They do something to it. It's boiled.
Yeah. And when they get it really good, the yolk isn't hard. The yolk is semi-liquid still. Oh, yeah.
Yeah. And it's tea stains. It's seasoned with tea, essentially. So it's sort of bread, brown blotches and then teas on.
You drop it in it. It gives it sort of smokiness. Okay. Well, how do you drop it into a cup of tea or something?
You know what? I don't actually know how they stain the egg with tea. But I had a big shot the other day and say, my own. Really?
Yeah. Now you're admitting to sharting. We had a whole thing about it. I thought it was a little.
Okay. I can't believe you're doing this. Do you mean you've caught it all we ever do? So, yeah.
I've got you that little. So what? You took a shot and your eggs got blowback, did they? When you say eggs do you mean?
No, no, no. They carry on the con. That's something that occurred to me. The concept of it.
So what? When you say your eggs, do you mean your pods? Do you mean your dangle pods? You mean your dangle pods?
Yeah. So you know when you say there's old films of like the film Genevieve, for example? I've never seen it. You've even heard of that.
You've never seen it. No silent movie. It's a British film from the 50s. Okay.
Big B, yeah, and the big cart. Whatever the action happens, it's called Genevieve. Is it the winner of the heroes? I can't remember how it ends.
It's got a bit of rivalry going on with wins. Yeah. A little story in there as well. Anyway, do those cars in those copies?
No, no, they backfire. No, no big bag. Yeah. No, that was what my arse was like, swap out the exhaust view for liquid, liquid shit.
Liquid Fesus? And I literally felt the blow on the balls. They moved in the wind. And there was a death in the sand.
Welcome to the cheap show. Oh, my pods got blasted as shit in the wind. Oh my pod just get blasted with particles. Oh my pod's a curtain of meat and it gets the shit wave coming over it good.
Wobble. This is pathetic. That really is like... Well Paul you haven't...
You've untethered me. There's no segments. I don't know what I'm doing here. I just want Ben in my bed again doing this fucking podcast.
I know you're going to do it lying down for a moment. We had it all set up so you can like... You want to do that now? Do you want to lie down?
Let's try doing it with you like that. You get... You don't loom over me. I'm not...
I'm going to help you set the mic up so you get comfortable. Get comfortable. Right. Don't fucking try any funny business.
I just want to know if you're comfortable. This is really weird now. Stop. You can throw a thrust at it into my gopp.
How about that? That's good. Yeah. Give us a mic test.
I want to. You want to talk a little bit further down. I got... You're comfortable.
Hello Paul. Here I am. You're lying down. You're staring up.
I'm going to molester. Merry Christmas. Are you fucking out? No I've got...
Right. How was Christmas for you there Paul? I'm dying. You didn't work Christmas day.
You didn't work Christmas day. You haven't been previous years. I worked till Christmas morning. So I was...
It's the early hours of Christmas day. I'll have Christmas day. And then I'm going to keep. And then I won.
I'll get a taxi. Very quiet. Going for a long, very quiet. It's almost like the beginning of the 28 days later.
You can order. Why do you do the posh voice for that? No. Because it's my new character.
Oh, what's he called? But Gruntly can't famp. It's not just the same sounds. No, come on.
It's Nigel Barrington. His name is... Nigel Barrington. Nigel Barrington.
His name is McKinly Gruntfamp. Hello. My name is Nigel Barrington. I talk about the finer things in life.
Well. Well. It's just a nice sups-on of champagne. on the rooftop of the Chrysler Building.
Oh yeah, the old school sort of American part, is that what we go for? And I'm sipping to the new year 1941. Here we go! Pippippipp!
Well I've got no carry, here he comes. Alright, yep. Maybe we could use those as a character try-up session. I'm Roger Dinaura.
Hello. Right, what? This is so far nothing. Well, you've got to address me as a character.
For 10, I'm real, no? Alright, so what's your name again? Roger. Roger Dinaura.
Right, Mr Dinaura. Yes, what's your gimmick? No gimmick, I'm just a real person. Out.
What? You failed the audition for this show. I mean, can't I just presume if the name's good enough, it's a character? No, that's not a good enough name.
Can I just repeat the name? How about, Rumbidie Bocock? I'm Roger Dinaura, right? So...
Yeah, but what was that for? I just thought that would count for something here. There's nothing to go along. My mum sent me along, she said.
Your mum was wrong, she said you're wrong. Roger, take the ginora name and go and impress them with your hilarious sounding name. They'll love you. The problem is, Mr Dinaura, is that we need more than just her.
I'll think about it in 10 minutes. I can't make it 10 minutes. I might have something. Yeah, because we're going to need more than that.
Alright, I'll go. I'm going to be a rich, solid, you know, centre. I can't, I'll hook that we can, you know... Oh, I just thought ginora would be, you know, strong on that.
It's like, maybe there's some research. Listen to a few episodes. I'm going to call my mother. I'm going to go find my mother.
I'll see what she has to say. Right. And I'll tell you what, I don't know, Mr Gannon. Yes.
What are you doing? You're doing your own voice. No, no, no. I'm Roger ginora.
I have a very similar voice. It's another reason why they said I'd be good. I could stand in for Eli sometimes. So you'd be Eli's thought the voice.
Yeah. I could say things like, hello. I'm Roger ginora. No, but you have to say your name is Eli if you're standing in for it.
Can I try that? Yeah. Hello Eli. How are you?
Yeah. I'm okay. Yeah. Oh, it's working with a Mike's Eli.
Yeah, it's, yeah. But I'm Roger ginora. Eli, you're fired. We're going to get Roger in to be you.
Hang on. Hang on. What's going on? Right.
I'm Roger ginora. I'm going to head off and see if I'm going to come up with some gimmick. Hang on. No, you're Eli.
Roger, I know you're sitting next to you. You sound like him. Well, he sounds similar. You do.
I'm going to get a little bit more handsome. I'm going. Who? I'm Roger ginora.
Stop saying that Eli. Roger, Roger, Roger, Roger, Roger, Roger, Roger. That's it. That's it.
I'm going. I'm going to go think of my gimmick. Oh, that's not good enough. No, I thought he was good.
He was good. He was good. He was good. He was good.
He was good. No, I'm Eli. No, you're just doing that. Don't try to gaslight me again.
There's a distinct fucking, there's a wall between me and ginora. Yeah. Yeah. Not much of one.
I just thought I'd add your brain. Oh. Here's my new character. Ready?
Characters coming out of me. Characters. Is this a character? Can I just ask you that?
Yeah. Is this the character fountain? Is the character? Oh, no.
Here we go. It's wobbly voice. Wobbly mouth. I love that beer.
Oh, God, I'm going to. Hang on. The character. I'm going to fank this.
No, I love this. This is what I live for. What character would you like? And it's just breen for...
You know, I have a woman in her 20s. Bruenette. Hello. Hello.
My name's Sandra. I like you. I like you. You drink me?
I could do brilliant with a lovely body. I could do modelling, I could do adverts, I could do films, I could do modelling, I could do anything you want. Would you like to be my boyfriend, Mr Silverman? Well, I'd have to go on a few dates to see what they laid the land out.
Yes, lay out all the other land out. What kind of romantic date would you take me on? Maybe dinner at a casual dining place, call my burger kitchen. Yeah, you'd call my ass.
I was nice, isn't it? And then maybe walk along the Thames. Touch my tits. Yeah.
Yeah. On the first date, you fucking monster. I thought you were a gentleman. I thought you were a gentleman.
I thought you were a gentleman. Paul, are we actually going to do anything with this fucking thing? No, I just thought we'd do one episode and we'd just see what happens. No, but how are we going to look at what they do this year?
Alright, let's start with that then. Let's segment it. Since you're so into segments, I'm going to the cheap show website, the cheap show.co.uk episode. So what episode was last Christmas?
It's like one... Well, last Christmas was in this year. That was last year. The office Christmas party was episode one.
That was in 2018. The first appearance of Freddie Goon. He's a character who's fallen into the hearts and minds of many of our fanbase. He's got a very strong USP, doesn't he?
Can I just mention as well? Well, now that you've inspired me for a member and says, is that someone on Instagram? I can't remember the name right now, it's really bad of me. It's doing a video game type thing for cheap show.
Appointing click kind of adventure. I've already seen the graphics. Is that what you showed me? Yeah, look, I'm in a state.
You look tiny. I'm on Red Nose. I look what Jimmy Goon's there. Yeah, all the characters.
I'm in it. It's Jimmy going to get hard downstairs. Is that what the play? He's got to find a way to get him hard downstairs.
Maybe that's what... Maybe he needs to get him hard downstairs in order to open a door or something. Yeah, maybe. So that's on Instagram.
He's hard downstairs in this. Keep your show game, I think. That'd be excellent. Yeah.
I like that. I'd be able to point and click cheap show game. Definitely fits with the style. Yeah.
In the House of Pickles and all that stuff. See, in the House of Pickles? Yeah. It's exciting.
It'd be good to have a bit where to get outside the podcast and walk along with segments. Yeah. Or a bit where it just goes out of my face. Oh, yeah.
Yeah, it's Spoff awards. Spoff, spoff, spoff, spoff, spoff, spoff, spoff, spoff, gooey gooey. Spoff, spoff, spoff, spoff, spoff, spoff, spoff, spoff, spoff, spoff, gooey gooey gooey gooey goo. I'm sorry if anyone has anything thought there's going to be content.
They need to retrieve some, hang on. What? Roger's back. Oh, Roger, come on in.
Hello. Hello. Hello. I thought about what you said about needing a, you know, a sense angle.
Yeah. So what is this? No, no, no, no. I've got some soil out there.
It's got some gloves in it. Yeah. I'm Roger, my no. Roger, my no.
What are you doing? I just grabbed all my gloves. He's scrubbing all my gloves. Yeah.
What does that mean? Oh, I've got a handful of soil and I'm Roger, John Ora. What are you doing? You're doing soil against a chest.
I like it. It's all the grubs. All the grubs get in the ears. I don't know.
I'm Roger, John Ora. I'll be fair. You're getting close to what I expected. I'll go back and think about it.
Okay. Can you make it shit? Oh, yeah. Could you make it rabbit shit?
I'm Roger, John Ora. I've got a handful of crabbing rabbit poop. Again, I apologize if anyone was expecting it. I'm going, all grubs.
Yeah? Anything? Anything? What?
Mate, I've checked out of this character. I just let you do your thing right now. I'm not really engaged. I am not here.
I'll just go. I'll let you talk yourself out of the scene. I'll... I'm not...
No, he doesn't. He hasn't gone for it. No, I'll come out of here. Can I have the fish fingers?
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Thanks, man.
Right. Bye. Bye, Paul. Yeah, bye.
I thought he had some promise, actually, Roger, John Ora. No. Let's talk about the episode. Yeah, absolutely.
So we did an episode called Dick a lot beer. Yes, that was in this year, was that the first one of the year? I think so, yeah. Dick a lot beer is when we had a copy of the Care Bears LP, didn't we?
Was that it? Yes. Apparently. The problem is, I find it difficult because I write the blurb every week for the episodes.
It's kind of not making sound samey. So I try and spice up what it's about, but as a result it means it's not about... You're about... It's hard to tell what it actually was about.
Yeah. I remember it was in LP. Do you remember it's... Lega Snacks.
And we talk about Doritos. There's E-Eselman's Plateau, there was some charity shop for us, doesn't say what else. And then we've listened to Fresh Prince and the Frank Mike Tyson song. I'm going to hit Mike Tyson.
Ooh. And he's going to not be... Oh, yeah. I'm going to hit Mike Tyson.
Oh, yeah. I can beat Tyson. I can beat Tyson. The one that sounds almost exactly like the Fresh Prince's bill air song.
It's very similar. Pete on the Wolf, the Disney... That's a nice little thing, isn't it? Yeah, the read-along record thing.
Yeah. And yeah, Care Bears album. That's right because it had those really odd dodgy stereotypes. No, that's your thinking of the cabbage patch.
Oh, yeah. But I think the Care Bears did have the bad beer, was a bit... was coded foreign slightly. Yeah, something like that.
Oh, the Care Bear. The cabbage... what they called cabbage patch dolls. The album of that had a very Jewish bandy.
It's European juice. Oh, good. You think old. Yeah.
And then there was also like an African American character as well. Crocodile. Yeah. It was also a bandy.
It was also a bandy. It was all quite bad. I think there was some of that in the Care Bears, but you know what you're going to do. What are you going to do?
Hopefully you live, you learn. Don't live, you're going to live. Kids' programs, that's all you can hope for in this day. Next episode, 109.
The ancient order of froth blowers. Yeah, don't remember that. You don't remember that. They've done a t-shirt of that.
That's your thing, froth. What was it? Was it one of those kind of... We had soft union.
They weren't a union, but they were like an organization, weren't they? Froth blowers were like people who blow the froth off beers. Froth off. You could blow my froth off.
Oh, yeah? Yeah. This was the exact same bag of bag of bag of brothe. Can I get your brothel boiling off?
Yeah, you've got a little... And then the froth off, I've skinned the froth off. You've got to get the bubbling hot. I'll skin the froth off, the broth off, the broth off.
I'll skin the froth off, the top of the froth off. Choff. Choff. Cough.
Cough. Cough on your froth, you're froth off. Cough me. What's that mean?
I'm Choff me hiller. Is that a new character? Yes. Hello, I'm Choff me hiller.
What fun? Oh, no, it's funny. I like this house. It smells nice.
I'm Choff me hiller. Ah, it's funny. The way I say hello is exactly like my second name. Hello.
Apparently in this episode you brought some American candy with you. Who? You didn't. Me, Choff me hiller.
I don't... Cheesets. Oh, those hung around. Thank you, Choff me, by the way.
All of the froth blows, those cough flinks. What that means? You're now just looking at the photos. Well, that's the whole fucking point, isn't it?
I'm looking back. It's terrible that I can't remember this fucking podcast that we do at times. Episode 110, the Spider-Man look for all that. What's that?
We got some bean boozled, and we played a game and there was new bad flavors of bean boozled, including spider-doll. Oh, wait, you had the snapping turtle jerky in there. Oh, that was so bad. Ooh, Marmy seasoning.
That's good. Toolcar. Oh, that's me. The lie detector, Satan Cine.
That's Sour Patch, Spider-Man earphones. Popping candy. I still got that up there. See my Spider-Man earphones.
Yeah, it's just worth the packaging, really, isn't it? Yeah, but you wouldn't have the earphones, isn't it? It was on the airplane, wasn't it? No, it was when I went to go and see into the Spider-Verse.
What, they just gave you headphones? Yeah, in a little packet. I think you could plug them into the side of the seat. Oh.
It's a good idea, because there's always some fucking... And there was someone in that screening who was literally... She was by herself. Yeah.
But she was literally explaining the film to herself. Literally going, yeah, he wants to do that because he... You know, he's saying it out loud. He shouldn't go in there.
He shouldn't go in there. But usually, if someone's talking to their... She's by herself. No, you don't need that.
That's bad, man. Maybe there's a very tiny person. I didn't spot them. Exactly.
They'd be sub three foot. Well, maybe they were tiny. How small were we saying? Elf.
Like an elf. Is that an actual size of person? An elf. You talk about my character as being toxic.
You're banding terms around like elf. A very small person described as an elf talking about a literal elf. Maybe they're friends. A very elf.
Yes. From the... Why, they hollow? Could Mr.
Springles. Oh, no. I did what's like this. Why, Mr.
Springles. I'm Choffney alert. Oh, hello, Choffney. Well, what are you in alpha, something?
Yes. And you know what I do? I make weird issues come true. Oh, could you...
I would like not to exist anymore. There goes Choffney. There goes Choffney. There goes Choffney.
Poor old Choffney. There goes Choffney. Why, can't... My name's Choffney.
My name's Choffney. My name's Choffney. There goes Choffney. Can't pass me that book.
Which one? I'm going to do it. Oi! Watch it.
Throwing shit at me. Ow! Fuck you. So, my stepmother got me a book for Christmas.
Yeah, what's the book called? It's called The Unhappiness of Being a Single Man. Ah, yeah. Ah, have you read it?