My name's Renee, and I'm bad at movies! Thank you guys. That's why I asked my friends to make me watch their favorite movies that I've never seen before. So today we're doing a live episode. Thank you friends for coming to Dan and Pete's living room. It's very sweet of you guys. So the movie that we're talking about today is West Side Story.
And, you know, usually I do a blind judgment of the movies that I've never seen. And in this case, I actually have seen like the first 10 minutes of the movie. So I'm just going to do my blind judgment based off of the first 10 minutes. So from what I could tell, this movie is about an alternate universe in which weapons do not exist. So these rival gangs have learned to fight each other through dance. And I'm pretty sure that's like, that's it. Like, I don't know. I mean, we can just watch the movie and then we'll find out. So let's go ahead and watch it. And now the plot of West Side Story in under 60 seconds.
When you're a shark, you're also a shark. Hey, you two can kill yourselves if you want, but not in my beat. Get out of here, short hair. Let's go to the dance. I'm Puerto Rican. Oh, no, nobody's going to like that.
We're on the streets. Maria, I love you. Okay. The rumble can't happen. You want knives? You want guns? Yes. Let's do it. We both said we're not bringing knives or guns, but here they are. Oh, I could not kill you, but I'll do it. Hey, did you just kill my brother? Uh, yeah. Baby, let's go to the bus stop. Yeah, let's make out. Gunshot. Stop this war.
My name's Maria. What's that story? So joining me is my very good friend, Piper Robbins. Hello. How are you? I'm good. How are you? I'm good. So I have been wanting to have you on this podcast. And honestly, I did not think this is the kind of movie that you would have suggested. Because, like, I mean, it's a musical. I'm not saying I don't think you're not into musicals, but you're a photographer. You're very artsy. I thought for sure we'd be watching, like, a really obscure indie movie. And this is, like, classic musical stuff.
That's true. Yeah. But one of the things that I always get really excited about with this movie is how beautiful it is. And that doesn't happen with musicals a lot. Usually they're just like, wham, bam, and kind of done. Right. They don't really look at how beautiful the movie is and how much work went into it, but this one's very different. It is. It was very artsy. Just the title sequence, if you guys haven't seen it, which I think some of you in the audience have, the whole overture happens with just a color on a screen with all these little lines, these abstract lines. And then after they're done with the overture, it turns out that the lines are all the little skyscraper lines of the Manhattan.
Like, Skyline, which was really, really neat. Yeah, that opening is so cool too. It was really neat, yeah. It's just like whistling. Da-da-da.
It's like so honest at the beginning and it's like, what is happening right now? And they're just panning over New York and it's like completely quiet. It's completely quiet. They knew exactly what they were doing when they shot this. That's another reason why I love it so much. It was like the first movie that I watched as a kid where I realized, oh, you can make choices in film and it can really mean a lot to the storyline itself. Because like I said, I kind of grew up just watching musicals and it didn't really, musicals before just didn't really do a whole lot. Yeah, that one's, I...
I like musicals, like I like live stage shows, but I don't typically like movies of musicals because it just feels like something's wrong. I don't either, actually. Yeah, it just doesn't seem right. But this one actually was great, like the choreography, the costumes, the songs, everything. I really did enjoy it a lot. Yeah, it's a good one. Pete.
Yeah. Did you enjoy the movie? I did. You didn't introduce me, so I didn't know if you wanted me to say anything. You know, it's just funny. I kind of forget that I'm at a podcast and, you know, all our friends who are here can see clearly that you're here. Yeah. I have no idea. A lot of people know who I am. It's here. I thought it was good. I don't really like musicals, so things like, it's beautiful. I love, all the shots are super cool, but I just get bugged by things where it's just annoying Renee being like, all right, we spent 25 minutes dancing and we decided we fell in love in 60 seconds. I think we need to prioritize what we spend our time on here. So it's like, it's.
It's still, I think, it's a musical and film very apparent because the emotions they're going through feel so fake because they're through dance and stuff. It's confusing why they feel the way they do. There's reasons for that, too. Apparently, it was a nightmare to make. What do you mean? It took like, well, the whole idea started, well, first off, if you don't know this, it's adapted from Romeo and Juliet, which is actually adapted from... You didn't know that, which is actually like, Shakespeare stole that from another play, and I don't have that written down in my notes. And yeah, it's lots of thievery going on.
But, yeah, it was actually, West Side Story was originally called East Side Story. And it was supposed to be between a Jewish and Catholic couple. Oh, okay. So, yeah, it was supposed to be way different, but because of, you know, when it was made. Why did they swap it out? They had the right people for that story. Yeah, that's very true. A lot of white people. I think that they thought that the Puerto Rican-American would, I don't know.
I don't know, render with more people, I guess, maybe? I'm not sure. You know, the whole World War II thing was still pretty fresh. That whole thing, too. The first thing we noticed was that everybody was slathered in Tanner. Oh, yeah, we'll get there. Not only was just the Puerto Rican side slathered in Tanner, but I feel like everyone was. Everyone was, yeah. It was also shot in August in New York, so everyone had to have been tan as all hell.
All the white people were deep orange, and all the Puerto Ricans were white people painted brown. It was brutal. Not all of them, but the ones that were, you could tell. You were like, that's not your real skin color. What are you doing? I actually, I don't know if this is a good time to do this, but I actually have a game that I'd like to do. Yeah, I love games. It's called Guess the Actual Ethnicity of the Sharks. I love it. That's a fun one. Here, let me get my sound effect phone out. Yeah, all right. I will give you one hint. There is one cast member that is Puerto Rican. Okay, cool. So you can guess which one.
So we can start with Natalie Wood, Maria. Yeah, she's Caucasian for sure. She's straight up white. Can you guess her actual ethnicity? Because she's first generation something. Scottish. She is 100% Russian. Russian. This is fun. Okay, how about Bernardo? Bernardo. Played by George Chakiris. Chakiris? That sounds like Eastern European.
He's Ukrainian. He's Greek. He's Greek. Um, Anita. Cheater! Cheater, I'm not a cheater. Um, Anita, who also won an Oscar, by the way. Yeah. She's white, right?
She's like Irish? She's Puerto Rican. She's Puerto Rican? Fuck me. She's Puerto Rican. Where's your sound effect now? She's also the only one of, actually, I don't know if that's totally true, but she definitely won an Oscar. And there are other reasons that I can get into later. But Chino? What about Chino? Chino! He'd be the one that I would guess is, no, you already said. Yeah, well, he's not completely white, but he's definitely not Puerto Rican. Okay.
He is... This is so hard. Just racist in any way. I hope not. I'm going to guess he is Portuguese. He's Filipino and Colombian. Okay. Yeah. And I can... Let's see. Let's go to... Just a fun fact. Okay. One of them... Oh, there's Pepe. Which, by the way, Pepe is not a traditional Puerto Rican name at all. It's Spanish. Who is Pepe? He's just a good guy. Just one of the guys who dances. Oh, is he the one with the lazy eye? Actually, I think that was...
It might have been. Or Indio, maybe. Yeah. Maybe it could have been. He had a crazy lady. He was terrible. He looked like Frankenstein. Yeah. He scared the crap out of me as a kid. So Indio, who's just kind of a random, his name is Gustriconus. And he is extremely Greek. And his sister played Graziella. No. Who is Riff's girlfriend, who is white as hell. She's probably the whitest person in the entire movie itself. She has red hair and is pale as shit. And her brother played a Puerto Rican character. That's hilarious. Just making shit up his name. Yeah. Like you'll do.
I saw some article online about, like, I don't know who wrote it, just some blogger. It was like, yeah, all the Puerto Ricans are mostly not Puerto Rican, but to be honest, there weren't a lot of Puerto Rican actors when the movie was made. And I was just like, what the fuck you told me? There were Puerto Ricans when the movie was made? Yeah. I don't know. Well, um... No, it wasn't actually over the place yet. Oh, it wasn't? No, I'm just kidding. Well, apparently it was a nightmare to cast, and, um...
Sorry, do we need to go through what happens in the movie before we talk about stuff? I mean, we just kind of go all over the place and just see what we got. I'm more interested in you and your relationship with the movie than what actually happens. They don't have two and a half hours. Okay. Sounds good. Fair enough. Well, yeah, I mean...
Growing up, I watched this. I've probably seen this movie, honestly, over 150 times because I grew up watching it as a kid every day for, like, summers at a time. I know. It's a little bizarre. That's why I was like, what's that story? Because so many people were like, oh my god, when you're a jet and, you know, like the Gap commercials and make fun of it. Which I get, but at the same time, a lot of heart. Yeah, there's a Gap commercial. And then SNL did a parody called Fat Gap, where it's just them and, like, Gap.
Clothing and doing the snaps and, you know, the stay cool dance. Anyway, so I watched this movie a lot. And kind of how I mentioned, it was the first time I noticed in a film where, you know, they actually made choices. And especially with the costume design. That's what really struck with me. Yeah, I noticed that too. I really liked, the way that they did it was like, it seemed like all the sharks were wearing like purples and reds. And all of the jets were wearing like blues, oranges, and like yellow colors. So it would just, immediately you would know who was on what side. And there was like a contrast between them. But it just made me think of being in high school musicals and how, my favorite part was getting our costumes for the musicals. I was always in.
the chorus, and we'd just get these weird-ass costumes for our pieces, like Bye Bye Birdie and Pippin. Pippin sucked. Pippin sucked in my high school, too. Oh my god, I will punch Pippin in the face. It's the worst musical. If I see Pippin in Dark Alley, I'll punch that guy in the face. Don't be such a pussy, Pippin. Yeah. Anyway, sorry. Enough about that. Let's talk about a good musical. That was originally supposed to be East Side Pippin.
Oh, wow. I got a crowd excited. Yeah, that's what they're looking for. Oh, man. It was an absolute nightmare to cast because they had to be good dancers, good singers, and good actors, and that usually didn't happen together. And originally, it was, of course, Romeo and Juliet. Then it turned into a book, which I think was called East Side Story, and then that was turned into a Broadway musical called West Side Story, and then that was turned into the production, like the film itself, West Side Story, which I think was originally started like seven years before it actually turned into the movie itself. But they wanted to cast a lot of the...
Broadway actors into the film itself but Jerome Robbins I think that's what his name was it could be like yeah Jerome Robbins who was the choreographer slash director was a fucking asshole he was such a piece of shit like just doing research on him I just want to go back in time punch him in the face well there's this guy Larry Kurt. He played Tony in the Broadway production. He was 30 years old and they told him that he was too old to be Tony in the film itself. Apparently he was also gay and Jerome Robbins really loved to call him certain words that start with F all the time and just make him feel like a piece of shit all the time. So he just didn't make it a very happy working environment in the first place. But yeah, the whole thing kind of started and it took a really long time to make and it went over budget of course and they couldn't get the people that they wanted to play the people that they wanted to play. So originally the character Tony
was supposed to be played by James Dean, but he died. Oh, shit. So that was a problem. Yeah, I would say that would be a problem. If that didn't really work out. If they had enough makeup on, they could have put a cork. That's true. Dear God. I don't know how they would work. Actually, you know what? It might have been okay, because something I found out is almost every...
Everyone was dubbed with a professional singer. Oh. And does anyone know that? Did anyone know that? I know that. I kind of thought about that with Natalie Wood. Was she dubbed? We got two, yes. Okay, I thought so. And what's fucked up is they didn't get any credit for it. They weren't on the bill. They got no credit at all. Like, absolutely none. That's just how it used to be. Yeah, I know, which is so not okay. So not okay. But yeah, and Natalie Wood's character, Maria, was originally supposed to be played by Audrey Hepburn, but she was pregnant, and she had had two miscarriages. So she was like, fuck that shit. I got a baby. I'm taking care of this thing. Yeah. Which is a good idea, because again, if I haven't mentioned, Jerome Robbins was a fucker.
Fucking asshole. Choreographer. Which, I mean, anyone who's done musicals, choreographers are assholes. Yeah. It's just how it goes. They're just jerks. They kind of have to be. But, I mean, when you watch the dance sequences in this movie, it's like, you know that choreographer was an asshole. Right. Because all the dance sequences are so good. Yeah. You had to wear jeans the whole time.
Yeah, and they're doing like high kicks and jeans and corduroys. You can tell they were all dancers too because they had really nice butts. Yeah. I did notice that. I was like, cool butt. You can't not notice the butts in this. But then also, like a lot of the dudes, I wasn't planning on bringing this up, but like a lot of the dudes have moose knuckle problems. I was planning on bringing it up. It's in my nuts. Moose knuckles and sweet asses. Yeah. Little butt in the front, little butt in the back. Yeah, you know, whenever they're like doing this shit, it's going to ride up. Right off the bat, it's heavy in sack action. There's a lot of balls. I mean, that happens when you're a dancer. Yeah, what happens? You get sack eff. Sack effron. Saction. I mean, mainly I was the fit.
of those jeans. It was like crotch is above their belly button. I mean, it was the 60s. My pants are up to my belly button. You said the penis. Okay. That I know of. You know, labia, they go through some stuff too. I didn't mean that.
Moving on. Okay. See, why would we talk about the plot? You know when I'm around, I'm going to talk about Labia. Oh, of course. Oh, Piper's coming? Just get the vagina conversation. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Save it for Piper. Hey, what does Officer Krupke want? Yeah, what is his deal? I can't figure it out. Officer Krupke, and there's actually a fun fact in Officer Krupke, that song. His deal is he just wants a piece on the street, but he also doesn't want to do any work for it. So in the song Officer Krupke, you'll notice at the very, very end where...
They're like, hey, Officer Kruppi, grab you. And it's like, did they say fuck you? Yeah, it sounds like it. Well, they were supposed to say fuck you. Oh. And, oh God, which some director, there were like four, was really adamant about making sure that this was the first movie that dropped the F-bomb. Whoa. He was like really into it. He's like, no, they're going to say fuck you at the end. And Universal or whoever it was that produced it, United? I don't know. They were like, absolutely not. There's no way we could put this on the movie screen if it says fuck you. But it sounds like fuck you. So they changed it to corrupt you, which is.
dumb doesn't make any sense but there was another line in the movie too where it sounded like they were saying something fucking something like but they were saying bugging or something on the whole bugging street on the whole bugging street wait no that's how it goes bugging street That's when Piper's sunk. Paul Buggin' Everlovin' Street. Yeah. Okay, cool. You know what I'm talking about. Look at all the phrases that they used in that movie. My favorite was the one guy that's like, what are we doing pooping around with some bras? Yeah, pooping around with dumb bras. I forgot about that. That one poor character, she just keeps saying oogle-oo. I'm like, that's not a thing. Yeah. Shut your mouth right now. She was having a stroke on camera. She was like, oogle-oo. And everybody's like, okay, cool, you're doing your thing. All right, you dumb bra. Just keep dancing and looking pretty. They don't hate the girl with the short haircut because she wants to be one of the boys and they hate on her. Anybody's? Go put on a skoi. I got scabby knees. Yeah.
Love it. None of them can pronounce ours. Put on a skoit, lady. I don't know what the deal was with that poor girl. You just had to toss the lesbian in there. Of course. I guess. I don't know. I've thought about this in great detail. I don't know what anybody's deal is, but I will say the scene where they're essentially about to rape Anita. I just noticed this for the first time watching it yesterday. She was the only person in the gang that wasn't partaking in that. She was standing off the corner. I was like, well, you know, that's cool, but you could have said something. Stand up for your girl. Yeah.
Just different times. Different times. So it was okay to rape women back then. That's exactly what I meant. It was pretty much okay up until, like, you know, last week. Anyway, now we're talking about rape. Piper, this is great. I also, okay, I wanted to say, how did Baby John ever make it into the gang? He is so sweet, but also, like, they're always just like, Baby John, why are you crying? He's like, oh, this is just too much, guys. And he's just, like, always like, I'm not up for it and all this stuff. And they're just like, it's okay. I feel like he had to have been somebody's brother. Oh, yeah, that would have been something. He got, like,
push into everything, but he wanted to hang out with the big kids, but he's a puss. Yeah, he's a little puss puss. He's definitely a little. But he's a sweetie, too. He is. Most of his responses are just shrugs. Yeah, that's true. What's the matter? He literally just shrugs whenever Officer Krupke. Yeah, kind of asking the question. You, tell me who got murdered. I don't know. I'll get you one time. What? Yeah, I think Pete's favorite song was the Officer Krupke song, for sure. That was a fun one. There's a lot going on, too. Yeah.
That was a great song. I just like it when anybody sounds like Curly from The Three Stooges. I'm destroyed! I'm destroyed! Yeah, that was the part, um, socially disturbed, and I was like, well, that wouldn't, that's not very good. Like, they're acting like, uh, they're not being very nice to mentally challenged people. Yeah, whenever they said social disease, Riff used a fairly offensive hand gesture. Yeah. Yeah.
For those of you who can't see, I'm doing something with my hands. Like a T-Rex hand. T-Rex toward my face. Yeah, it's funny when you watch movies that are this old because you, like me personally, I love this movie so much, but I'm like, uh-oh. Oh, that ain't good. I'm like, oh, that's not good. And you're also white. Why are you playing a Puerto Rican when you're Russian? Yeah.
Yeah, Maria is super cool. I don't think I've ever seen... I mean, of course, because I'm terrible at movies. But I haven't seen Natalie Wood in any other starring roles. Yeah, she actually also died in 1981 in a really...
messed up way. Yeah. The official cause of death was drowning and other undetermined factors. Yeah, I looked that up last night. Christopher Walken was also on the boat with her. Yes, he was. Which is crazy. So she actually was married to a man in Robert Wagner and then they divorced and she married someone else and then they remarried again. So she was married to Robert Wagner twice with another marriage in the middle. And they were out on a boat and she drowned and they never really found out exactly what happened. But there are rumors that she caught Christopher Walken and Robert Wagner getting frisky. And she like drank herself and not to death.
drank a lot, and drowned off of a boat. And it was reopened in 2011, actually. And the official cause of death was change to drowning and other undetermined factors. Because I think they found a bunch of stuff in her system, too. Oh, shit. But yeah, she died on November 29th, 1981. And Christopher Walken and Robert Wagner are the only two people that probably know what happened. Oh, God, that's so scary. It's weird when you think about that. Christopher Walken's, like, not a bad dude, as far as I know. Except he might know how Natalie Wood died. Maybe on his deathbed he'll just, like, grab somebody and be like...
She saw us. I did fuck her husband. I was boning her husband and she saw us. She got jealous. I don't know. But yeah, it's really sad. Yeah, she was only, she was like 40-something. Yeah, she's pretty young. Yeah, her part in the movie too, and I, again, just found this out, but there was just tons of drama with this movie in general. People got fired and then rehired and they weren't given directing credit and they were given almost like joke directing credit. One person, I want to send my notes somewhere, but they were basically given this weird directing credit, something like...
arrangement credit or something like that because the person just bossed everyone around all the time. It was like a shitty way of like giving them credit for it. I don't know. But Natalie Wood, she recorded all of her vocals beforehand and whenever they actually filmed it, they played the vocals and she was singing along with it and apparently everyone was like, oh Natalie, you're doing such a great job. You're so fantastic. And then she went and watched the movie on opening night and it was not her voice singing the songs. It was a woman named Marnie Nixon. Yeah.
That's pretty fucked up. She was real mad about it. That'd be funny if she just straight up didn't notice. She's like, I sound great. I sound so good. Thank God. I was worried. I was really worried about my voice. I mean, apparently that happens a lot. I know that happened to George Clooney in A Brother Where Are Thou? Oh, really? Yeah, but I think George was like, yeah, I know I suck. But George is Rosemary Clooney's nephew, I think. So you think that would be passed down, but nope, didn't work out that way. No, he just got good looks. Yeah, he just got the face and probably other things. Boing. Boing.
I don't know. Oh, you meant his chin. Yeah, his chin. Yeah, same thing happened to the guy that played Tony, Richard Boehmer. I think he knew the whole time he was going to be dubbed, but just as a side note, I don't know about you all, but Tony is a little bitch. I was talking to Dee about this the whole time we were watching it, and he does a great job, and Maria, that song's very beautiful, and the person that sang his parts did a great job, but he's not an incredible dancer. The scene where they meet for the first time, that really beautiful, delicate scene where they're dancing.
He, like, his arms are bent and he just, oh, I drive me nuts. Yeah. Come on, dude. Jerome must have, like, had a crush on him or something. Maybe so. Just didn't yell at him. Yeah, he just always had this expression on his face that was kind of like, like, he just, like, he always had his mouth open, like, all of his teeth. He looked like he just had too many teeth or something. Yeah, he's just always kind of, like. I mean, I think the character Tony is kind of a puss anyway. Yeah. But he, I don't know if it's, like, how, like, tall and lanky his body is or something. Yeah. Not that I don't mind tall and lanky men.
But I don't know how goofy he was, but I just couldn't... I can't stand him in this movie. I wish that there were other people. Yeah, I don't connect with his character at all in this movie. He decides he's in love with this girl after like three seconds and then he stabs her sister or her brother and just goes, I didn't know it was going to happen. It was an accident. He just looked him in the eye and ran towards him and stabbed him in the dark. You can't bend and tell the girl, I don't know what happened. It was crazy. I was dancing and then my blade was in his chest. Fuck you, dude. You're a murderer. And she just hopped in the bed with him after two. Yeah, he came over and was like, it was an accident. Yeah, I'm like, I'm sorry. I would have not done that. I would have been like, dog, you need to.
explain more about what happened here. Everyone made decisions real quickly and everyone was willing to forgive everybody fucking immediately. The cops just let everyone walk away after a guy's stabbed in the middle of a basketball court. There's no questions for anybody but the guy that did it. Even Anita, who Anita's absolutely hands down my favorite character in this movie. She's such a badass. And she was Puerto Rican. She did that motorcycle chase? She's such an incredible dancer and singer. I think she's saying her own.
I could be like oh I need to fact check that fact check that joint but yeah even like after she came home and obviously her you know boyfriend or whatever he is to her whatever Bernardo was had just been like killed by Maria's lover and she's like I know you just boned him but sure I'll go to the place where all of the buddies are of the people that just murdered the love of my life no problem I'll go over there and tell them give me like five minutes give her like five minutes she's busy yeah I wouldn't have done that. I would have been like, bitch, fuck you. Yeah. I'm sorry, my boyfriend just died. Can you give me a second? I need some space. Yeah.
God. Nobody knows how to have adult conversations in that movie. I mean, you also have to remember that it is based off Romeo and Juliet. So when you think of it that way, sure, they meet each other at a dance and they immediately fall in love. And nothing in the world matters except for that. True. I do love that scene, though. That's my favorite scene in the whole movie. I was going to ask what yours was. But yeah, the dance was awesome. And they blur everything in between so it's just them looking at each other. It's such a cool thing. I feel like of all the movies I've seen that portray a love like that, especially the moment you realize you're in love or the moment that you meet someone and you're like, oh, damn, this person is absolutely fantastic, that it's a...
a good job because um with the camera work there was basically nothing else in the world that was going on in that moment except them meeting yeah and they did such a good job with blurring everything out and like the nice soft lighting and um a couple of other dancers in the background doing like a very loving like dance at the same time and uh the lead up to like the world shitting all over them happened really nicely too um and then everyone killed themselves and that's basically anyway um yeah i i love that scene it just like it gives me tingles yeah it was really sweet i liked it I think my favorite song and dance number was Anita's song in America, or like all the Puerto Ricans on the Roof singing about America. That was awesome. And there's some, I think Pete, you had said during the movie, like some of the stuff they're saying is still prevalent to what we're dealing with. I mean, not us, but like what our society's dealing with being part of our country, you know? It's like expensive city living and stuff. Right, yeah. Life can be bright in America if you're all white in America.
Mic drop. Mic drop. Please don't drop your mic drop. Everything's free in America, just more expensive. Yeah. Maybe that's not the exact one. But you know, you get the idea. Life can be bright in America, if you're white in America. Life can be something in America. You forget I'm in America. You know my favorite part of this movie? What? They always do a huge dance sequence, and then they stop, and they're all like, oh my god, that was crazy. When we were all dancing together? All right, see you later, I guess.
Actually, the dancing is pretty fantastic, and I'm glad you mentioned it so that I didn't forget to talk about it. Because Jerome Robbins, I don't know if I mentioned this, he's a huge asshole. But he... Normally with a show like this, they would request that there be a four-week practice, but he requested eight weeks for them all to practice. He also wouldn't allow the Jets and the Sharks to talk to each other. So during breaks, they weren't allowed to take lunches together, and they basically weren't allowed to talk at all. And they were even encouraged to talk shit about everyone else on the Jets and the Sharks. They were not allowed to be buddies at all. Which I think you can feel it in the film. There's definitely that sense of gang-ish kind of feeling. But yeah.
I mean, the dancing was, it was so good. I mean, when you have basically a Nazi running your choreography, that's pretty much what happens. But yeah, even I watched this like teeny tiny little documentary and the guy that played Riff was saying how that really rough scene at the beginning, well, it's not rough, but they're dancing at the beginning and they're chasing each other like throughout the city. They had been doing that for like seven hours and finally the director said, you know, I think this is good. We're fine. And it was like 110 degrees outside and Jerome Robbins was like, yeah, I'm okay with it, but let's do it on the other foot.
like completely just shattered their world so I mean that would have been an extra like four hours or so and the guy that played Riff said that they all had shin splints and they were all in like a ton of pain yeah that guy was a dick yeah Sounds like he's just being awful for awful's sake. But yeah, the choreography was good, so maybe. Oh, it was so good. And it won Best Choreography. It won 10 Academy Awards. I don't know if I've mentioned that yet. So Anita got one for Supporting Actress, right? Yeah. It won Best Picture, Best Director, Best Supporting Actor, Best Supporting Actress, Best Art Direction, Best Cinematography, Best Costume Design, Film Editing, Best Scoring, Music, Musical Picture, blah, blah, and the Best Sound. Very good. First time two directors won. First time two directors won for Best Director. Best Director? That's awesome. Yeah, Robert Weiss. Did they win for Best Arranger?
I don't know. Yeah, I need to find out exactly. Wrangler. Best bossy pants? Yeah. Something like that. Best huge asshole. Best big old big head. Yeah. So, okay, I just want to ask, what made you, you said you've seen the movie like 150 times and you watched it all the time as a kid. What was it? Like, what was it about the movie that just drew you to it over anything else that you could have watched? I'd say I do like the music a lot. Yeah.
the actual cinematography itself so um that's like i mentioned this a couple times it's the first time where i mentioned or where i uh really saw really creative art direction in the film so of course the costumes and um You especially notice it in Maria, actually, when he's running down the street, and there's this really beautiful scene where he runs in front of these green windows. Oh, yeah, I know what you're talking about. Yeah, and he keeps walking up to that part at the end of the song, the most beautiful sound I've ever heard. And as he's walking up that, there's this really beautiful, it actually kind of reminds me a little bit of a Kubrick kind of sense, where it's perfectly symmetrical on both sides. So you see that scene where it's leading up, and there's all these guiding lines leading in.
And every time I watch it, I notice something new that I hadn't seen before. Even in the beginning, the opening credits, where the Jets are walking through the playground, and there's that little girl, and she's drawing on the sidewalk, and she's making a little bird's nest, and they walk around it. I just notice something new every single time I watch it. They're like mean guys, but they're not going to mess up a little girl's chalk drawing on the ground. They're respectful, and that's the thing. And this doesn't really have a lot to do with cinematography, but it gives them, especially at the end when they're like, okay, we have completely ruined so many people's lives, but now we've ruined true love.
I was like, damn, you guys, you guys done fucked up. You guys done goofed. Yeah. Hard. Yeah. Yeah, stop pooping around. Stop pooping around. I think it was great to see how much they were able to say without saying anything. I mean, the first, what, like 10 minutes of the movie, they don't say a word. They're just like moving around and it's through the dance and through the cinematography and all of that and the music. It's just like, you know exactly what's going on before any of them have even uttered a word. And most of the words they say during the movie are nonsense anyway. That's true. So you just have to kind of like glean off what they're saying. But yeah, you totally get what's going on.
I loved it. Yeah, I have to say, you know, at the end, a woman is the one that stopped the war. Yeah, she sure was. And she was wearing her red dress, she was wearing white, basically, throughout the whole movie, and she came out in her red dress and was like, listen to me. And she was asking in the beginning to dye that dress red. Yeah.
Good one. Oh, points for Pete. Pete got it. I watched it all. Apparently there was also a deleted death scene, too. Maria was supposed to die at the end. Oh, yeah. But they went the other way because they thought one of the biggest things, like a hurdle that they had to jump over with this movie was how depressing it is. Yeah. And that's why they decided not to kill Maria in the end, even though that's definitely not what happens in Romeo and Juliet. Right. I won't spoil that for anyone that hasn't read it or seen it a million times. But anyway. Never heard of it. I thought she was going to shoot herself. Yeah. What if she did shoot herself and she walked in the street and she got hit by a bus?
That would be interesting. That would be interesting if there were actual other people in the movie at all because there were basically never any extras. Yeah. They were in an empty New York City. They were. It was the most empty New York City movie. There's like one scene where they're walking down the street at night and another car walks by and goes, who is that? That's the only other people we've seen the whole goddamn tour. Stop it. Yeah. I mean really just in the beginning with like the people in the playground but even so they were just kids. They weren't other adults or anything. Yeah. I also like that it started exactly in the same place that it ended too. Yeah. It's nice. I love them. It's like the full, it comes full circle. Yeah. For sure. And I always cry at that scene.
I'm glad my fiance was in the other room because I was like, oh, God. Maria. Maria. I'm sorry, you're upset. He's east of it by now. I know Tony was a post, but you loved him. God. Why are you crying, baby John? Wipe your snout on your sleeve. Well, I think we need to actually wrap up here. Piper, I know a lot has been going on in your life, some very exciting changes.
I know you and our previous guest, Stephanie, have a business together now, right? Oh, yeah, we do. Yeah, I don't know if you want to, like, plug it. I'll drop that shit. Do it, do it, go for it. So, yeah, Stephanie and I, we have a little business called PS PhotoWorks. Yes, the P does stand for Piper, and the S does stand for Stephanie. Oh, man. That's really interesting how that worked out. Yeah. She came up with it. But we do film processing and lab services. We're actually one of the only places in Chicago where we are a full-service lab, so you can process everything from E6, 120, to black and white 35. So we can do that for you. We also sell film, and we're also really cool. Yeah, I can vouch for that.
You guys are cool. Yeah, we're cool. You're rock stars. And I'm glad I finally had you on my podcast. We also do, we also shoot weddings and events. Oh, yeah. And we do headshots. Oh, yeah. You guys, please. Damn. Please hit up Piper and Stephanie. I've seen their headshots. They're beautiful. We do headshots. Yeah. And for I.O. performers and students, we actually offer a 20% discount. So for all you poor I.O. kids. That's a good deal. Yeah, well, thank you so much for coming on. Thanks for having me. I could talk about West Side Story for a long time, and usually people are like, I don't want to talk about a musical. And I'm like, I understand, but this one's so good. So now is the part of our show.
where we have Morty and Ava Rosenblum have come out to visit and talk about West Side Story. So why don't we go ahead and bring them out? Would you like to speak with them as well? Yeah, absolutely. Okay, great. I'll just go ahead and leave because I don't get along with Ava very well. She's a turd burglar. What did you say? I'm a burglar of turds. I only pass on what I hear. I've never met you. That's fine. Hello. You're very sweet. Yeah, me too.
Thank you. I already forgot about the line with the burgled turds. Mori! Yes? You're a little burglar, aren't you? Thank you. You burgled my heart so many years ago. And you've not burgled her turds. Not yet. Not yet. Not that yet.
That's how you die? Yeah. Apparently, he's thought about this. I'm hoping I just don't wake up one day. Oh. As opposed to something violent, like I die in my sleep. I mean, that is kind of sweet. It'd be nice for you to pass on while snuggling me rather than walking outside. That's what I'm saying. I'm just saying I don't want to be shot in the middle of a basketball court by 20 children. Okay. I don't think you're at risk of that because I haven't seen you in a basketball court since 1995. I don't know. They seem to hate Officer Krupke and he's the guy that's most like me in this movie. Okay. Well, I guess that is true.
I like to think I most like the candy store owner. Just kind of there saying, what are you doing? Hey, cut it out. I thought you were going to say you most like the candy store. Why is that? I don't get it. Because you're sweet and people love to come see you. And the basement is full of mystery. Maudie, you know just what to say to make me feel like a special lady. Hi, Bert.
Piper, did you only have one VHS tape growing up? Yeah, that's the deal. I think I had maybe four. If you can count Titanic as two of those. Yes, that is a long one too. Did you own any movies with a happy ending? Well, I was going to say, I think I also had Pocahontas, but I think that ended well. Not in the long scheme of things. Also, that storyline, if we want to keep on the...
weird racist movies, then we can talk about that for a while, too. But that's another episode. All three of those, the boy, the male, dies or is injured at the end of the movie. And every one of those. What's the deal? Your fiance's here, right? Your fiance's here. Watch your back, son. I think something might happen to you. It's true. You never know. You got a tall, lanky one over there. He looks like a pickle.
He's wearing a green shirt. He looks like a little pickle. I like pickles. Cutest little pickle I've ever seen. Cutest little big eight pickle. This is nice. This is great. I was happy. You know, the movie was sad, yes, but they all controlled their anger pretty well because when they were upset, they mostly just slapped the wall with two hands. Yes. And then they were done. I have a short temper, so I said to Ava, you know, the next time I get mad, I'm just going to put on my tight pants.
and slap the wall in despair. And then they'll know how I'm feeling. Apparently, the best way to get away from the police is to just slap the fence a couple times and they can't track you with their light. That makes sense. Especially when there's only two police in the whole city. I think there are only 47 people in the entire city, so it makes sense to have two cops. Seems like a lot for the population of that city. It honestly made me feel like, New York ain't so bad. It's not that a lot of people, and sure, it's hot, but they like to dance. They're very vivacious. They have dances on the weekends. Morty, when's the last time you've danced with each other? Let's go to New York. I have sciatica.
Okay, well, next time you bring up your sciatica, I'll go put on my tight pants and slap a wall. I tried to make you happy. It's a physical problem. Can't you pick anything else that we can do together that does not involve gyrating? Sure. Watching a movie. We do that a lot. Yes, that's what I mean.
What did you think about it? I was about to scream Ava like he does scream Maria, but I didn't think it would work. You can do it. It's passed. His sciatica is preventing him from yelling. She doesn't know what sciatica is. I don't either. It's something with your back. Like a slipped disc maybe. I can see why that would cause issues with gyrating. I can dance with just my top half. That's great. I can just dance with my bottom half. It's like noodle legs. They're very light on my feet. Together you're one great dancer.
That's great. We each had horizontal strokes. I lost feeling in my top half and she lost feeling in the bottom half. Well, you know, at least you're in it together. What are we talking about? The movie, Wally. Oh, that's right. Wally was great. Wally? Sorry. That's another movie where the planet is devoid of human life. Are you going to rate this movie or not? What did you think of it? Yeah, I'll give it...
Three out of five social diseases. Oh, nice. I'll give it four out of five moose knuckle jeans. And the only reason I didn't give it five out of five is because I don't think I've given any movie a perfect story yet, and I don't want to break that. I think a perfect movie has yet to be made. Yes, we're still waiting on that.
We do love Happy Gilmore. That is going to be hard to beat, I'll tell you that. It's a 4.8, though. Yes. Piper, do you have a rating for this movie? I'm going to have to give it 5 out of 5 Marias. Oh, that's very nice. Well, of course you would, because it's a favorite movie. It makes sense. A lot of people come out on the show and say it's a favorite movie and give it, like, a 6. And we're like, what the fuck is wrong with you? Why did you pick a movie? Is it your favorite and you only gave it 6 out of 10? Get out. Yeah. It's definitely one of my favorites, for sure. But it's a movie that needs to be defended a little bit, you know? Yes. I think he did a good job. It is a little behind in the times, but, you know. It's 1960.
Question mark. One. Nine. But, you know, you just have to keep that in mind immediately when you start the movie. Okay, we know what we're getting into. Everybody's got weird, different colored faces than they normally do. Yeah. And you just kind of roll with it and snap along. Oh, my sciatica.