Yo, what up, dude? It's IGP Quick Takes. Fire guys, people. I was just callin' ya'll up so real quick.
Like, you know, I feel like a freestyle. I got a full eye. Podcast, yeah, turn me up. It's gon' be good.
I ain't really got time to listen. What's up, people? I ain't your host, J-Will. And I would like to welcome you to inspire guys, people to podcast.
But we balance faith and business to guide you to your purpose. This is a quick take, people, come on! Woo! Yo, my people, my people.
Here we are. How y'all feelin' today? You good? I see you.
What up, that plan? This gon' be an excellent time today. Excellent, that's the word I love. And my boy, Alex Vaught.
They use that word. Phenomenal. If you know the veil and Alex, why am I randomly talking about them taking a shot? I don't know, man.
These two guys love movies. Like, they love movies more than anybody I've ever met. If you just go to LaVille, Neil, or Alex Vaught on Facebook, like you gon' see them talk about a movie and they're gonna use the word. It was phenomenal.
The directing here. They just love movies. I have an appreciation for people. I can talk for people who appreciate things.
It's good to see somebody in their craft when it's like, yo, I just be watching a movie. I don't see what you see, but it's dope that when people can see more. You know what I'm saying? Anyway, don't know why I said that, but I hope y'all feeling good today.
Look, of course, man. The other night I wake up and, you know, when I looked at my phone, it was everywhere. And I do mean everywhere. You know, Will Smith slaps Chris Rock.
So we're gonna talk about this today. You know, a lot of times I'm really picky. I pick and choose when I wanna engage some current event or cultural moment, if you wanna call it that, if that's a cultural moment, I guess. It'll be etched in history, etched.
I can talk. But I do wanna talk about it from a couple of different angles. And I really just wanna share, you know, some things that I took away from it, some concerns I have, some, you know, the good or bad ugly. I just wanna kick it with y'all and give my perspective.
I'm sure you either gonna strongly agree or strongly disagree. And that's cool. With a topic like this, it's funny. Like I saw so many opinions on social media ranging all over the place, which is probably the first thing that stands out to me with a lot of these types of issues is how polarizing they are and how passionate people are about them.
I mean, people are like personally passionate about things. Again, I'm not judging that good or bad. It's just an observation that I make that becomes very interesting to me because I find it challenging when it's almost impossible for you to know the dynamics of something like, like I'll use this example. I would never personally, like if two people were fighting or whatever.
And I don't know, let me not say that. I don't know. We all have opinions, but the passion is different. I'm not gonna go down that road.
That's not the point of why I wanted to talk today. So I'm gonna lead that along. So let's engage a few things. All right, let me not belabor the order of service.
Yes, yes, yes. Go into my church voice. Yes, I, yes, I doubt, yeah. Y'all gotta stop talking like that.
Pastor, stop doing the church voice, bro. Oh, no, it's not real. All right, so why am I, hey, let's get yourself together. Hold on, can I have a meeting with myself real quick?
I need to have a meeting with myself before we start this show. Listen, bro, this is a very controversial topic. You understand it, right? Yeah, I understand it's controversial.
Like, but it's good. People don't agree they go, no, listen to what I'm saying, but you don't need to do all the extra stuff though. Keep this one like on point, you know what I'm saying? Stay on topic.
Cause people get all emotional in it. They don't want to listen. They ain't gonna want to hear it if you, okay, I got you, I'm on good behavior. I got you, bro.
I'm you, I got you. You know what I've been knowing you the whole time. I've been knowing you are whole life. All right, anyway, all right, meeting the turn.
We're good now. All right, so I had to have a meeting with myself. Y'all were welcome to the meeting. I think that's the first time I allowed y'all to come into a meeting with me.
We went on episode 160 of this podcast. If you're a new listener then that means you got at least 160 and more like 170 or so episodes to go and catch up on. I advise you to go back to episode one because that's what's gonna bless you. We lay a foundation and there's a lot of great interviews and these are timeless topics.
Have I done enough disclaimers? Email me, germane, wilsomusicach.com. Let me know your thoughts about the show topics you want to hear and more. All right, commercial break over.
So here's the first thing I want to engage and talk about. This is the irony of this. I'm listening to this book about emotional intelligence, right? So, and I don't prescribe to everything y'all know, for those who've been listening to this show.
Sometimes I don't even say the names of the books I listen to because some of the books get weird. I know like, I'm not saying you don't know how, but I'm comfortable with the things I listen to and read and knowing how to like kind of take the good back from it and throw stuff aside. But I try to be careful about things that I refer to people because, you know, a referral to some people can feel like a snap of approval. And I don't put my step of approval on everything that I engage and listen to and try to learn from.
So, there's a book about emotional intelligence that I'm listening to right now. And so I found it so funny because I was listening to this chapter, I'm still in the early chapters of the book, it's a pretty long book. And it was talking about impulse. I wish I could remember, I should have took notes, but sometimes I'm listening to books while I'm doing a hundred things.
But it talked about like impulse in this way of like, like the dangers of being impulsive. You know what I'm saying? And how, you know, when you're impulsive, you're basically not thinking like yourself. So, the first thing I really wanted to talk about is, you know, this situation really showed me the importance of emotional intelligence, partially because I'm listening to a book on emotional intelligence.
But I wanted to just try to share, I found something online, it's achievers.com. I wanted to find something, not the book itself, but that was covering the same topic of the book. And so the first thing I want to engage about is emotional intelligence, right? And I saw all the opinions, some people were saying they were defending wheel, some people were mad at wheel.
I'll just be honest with y'all, I don't know if this situation is real or fake. Like you look real close, I see some smirks, the smacks don't really all the way look real, it's Hollywood, just speaking for myself, I don't really trust everything on TV. You can Photoshop stuff, you can do a lot of stuff to make things look real. They got it like a seven second live TV delay.
It's a lot that could have happened. So we're just engaging this topic, assuming that it was real, but I gotta be honest with y'all. Cause Spiritity's a side I can talk. I'm just, it just don't seem all the way real to me personally.
But I'm not pushing that on you. I'm just telling you how I think about it. All right, so let's assume that this is real. From an emotional intelligence perspective, let's first explore that.
Now, hopefully regardless of what side of this you want, you can get something from this. That's the way I'm intending to deliver this is like, whether you agree or disagree with it, it's gonna be something that you can take away from this. Now you don't have to agree with me. That's not what we do here.
Like we just okay with disagreeing. We don't just gotta cancel people and turn them off and not listen cause you don't agree with everything. I say, come on, you might disagree with that. You're out of here, you don't want to listen to me.
All right, anyway. So let's check this out. Achievers.com, you can go check this out. I wanna first engage, what is the definition of impulsive control?
Okay, so I'm just gonna read a little bit of, scroll through and skim through a little bit of this article. It says, impulse control is one of the core competencies of emotional intelligence or EI and is defined as the degree to which a person can control the need for immediate gratification. All right, I'm gonna let that marinate, marinate the degree to which a person can control the need or desire for immediate gratification. Now this is why I love reading and listening to things about this because I believe they support biblical principles because what did Jesus say?
He said, pick up your cross, deny yourself and follow me. The Bible and what Jesus preached and what he died for, forgiveness of our sins. When you think about sin and of itself, I know like when I think about it from a personal perspective, sin is a large portion of sin is impulsive. Like when you really, if you wanna be really real with yourself, you ever did something you were like, man, I wasn't thinking.
Like I've literally done things and I'm like, I wasn't thinking, but how is that possible? How did I do something that I wasn't thinking, right? Impulsive behavior, not having the ability, having low emotional intelligence, not being able to control the need for immediate gratification. That means in and of our flesh, we have a need and a desire to be immediately gratified.
Now, I'm telling you all this is crazy when you really think about it. The reason this is so important is because you have an emotional brain and a thinking brain, okay? And what I'm learning is that they both going at the same time, but they don't have the same desire outcome. And this is crazy to me, but it makes a lot of sense.
It's like your emotions and your thoughts are going at the same time and you have to constantly decide which one am I gonna follow? And they don't always have the same desire. Okay, so as a Christian, this might mean, like in my emotions, I can emotionally want something, be tempted, have the desire to do something. And my emotion, like my impulsive behavior wants to gratify that emotional need, right?
But then there's the thinking part of my brain that is like considering all of the consequences and the circumstances and the ins and outs. So you got your thinking brain that is trying to determine and calculate all of these things. But the problem is sometimes when you give into impulsive behavior, you are moving emotionally, moving based on an emotional need before your thinking brain has the chance to catch up. Do you feel what I'm saying?
I'm listening to this book, they break down a couple of like criminal cases where people commit it like violent crimes. And they talk about this like, you can end up in jail for 30 years for a 30 second decision. Think about that. There are people that if you interview interviews people who have gone and murdered people and like you'll talk to them and they've been talking to an interview and it's like, yo, I just something took over me for 30 seconds like or for one minute.
And they sound, you could judge them, right? Of course, like they did something horrible. But when you really think about it, it's like, man, just think about your own scene. How close can I come to doing something outside of my character if I have the, like if I take, let the impulsive behavior take over, like that's dangerous.
I don't agree with one sentence. I ain't gonna be able to get through the show. I'm gonna tell you all right now. I ain't gonna be able to get through all the things I wanted to.
So I'm gonna just cover a couple of things and let it be that. All right, so let's keep going. This is talking about emotional intelligence and impulsive control in particular. It may be the most significant indicator of a person's future success in the workplace or adaptation in society in terms of building and maintaining relationships with others.
This is saying that your emotional intelligence or your ability to control yourself, your impulse could be the number one key factor to like your success, to how you adapt in society and how you build and maintain relationships with others. That's heavy, y'all. And the reason I'm pointing this out is because I want us to look in the mirror and ask ourselves, do I have emotional intelligence? Like I know you got book smarts, I know you can read, you can write, but are you emotionally intelligent?
Are you able to think and control your impulsive behavior and not do everything you wanna do when you wanna do it? That's how the devil gets us to sin. That's what Tim says and sometimes we tempt it in and of ourselves to sin because we just wanna do what we wanna do when we wanna do it. No emotional intelligence and a lack of impulsive control.
All right, let's see what else I wanna see about this. All right, so what they're talking about. More recently, Amy Chua and Jay Rubenfeld have re-examined impulse control in America's culture of entitlement and instant gratification. In their book, The Triple Package, how three unlikely traits explain the rise and fall of cultural groups in America.
Both research studies reveal impulse control is a key driver of better life outcomes as measured by academic performance, higher SAT scores, upward mobility, and professional success. This is literally saying your ability to control your impulsive behavior and not always need to be instantly gratified is linked to your success. Is linked to a lot of things. Now, let me just pause real quick because we talking about this slap.
Now some people might be like, ah, well, you're wrong because yeah, Will Smith showed a lack of emotional intelligence and slapped Chris Rock, but look, he's successful. See, this is the problem when we talk about success sometimes. People are limited to thinking of success just about how much money you make. He makes a lot of money.
Oh, he's famous. Well, I don't wanna see one thing I don't like to do just from a personal standpoint. I don't wanna do with the show just me personally. I don't really like to talk about people, relationships and marriages and they, I don't get into stuff, but we'll, we'll know they put a lot of stuff out there.
You know what I'm saying? Like they put a lot of stuff in the public. And I don't know if I would say, cause we remember impulsive behavior, your impulse control, your emotional intelligence is lack. I mean, it's tied into, let's go back to the top of this paragraph.
What did it say? It may be the most significant indicator of a person's future success in a workplace or adaptation in society in terms of building and maintaining relationships with others. I don't know if I could say real, Will Smith, like in this scenario, because you're talking about, think about the people in the situation. You have his wife in the situation.
Now again, I'm not gonna get into this stuff. We know that they air they own dirty laundry. I don't know if that's not the relationship I would be looking to personally as a successful relationship. There seems to be a lack of emotional intelligence based on what they share publicly.
And maybe a lack of impulse control in how they do things. So that's kind of the root of this seems to be in my opinion, his relationship with his wife is driving, it's really driving a lot of this, right? Then now you got the fact that him and Chris Rock, I believe they call, I thought they were friends. Chris Rock and his apology call them his friend.
That's a relationship. So now Will Smith is caught between what seems to be an interesting relationship with his wife and a friend on stage, right? And so now your emotional intelligence needs to come in, your thinking brain needs to allow you to control the desire for instant gratification emotionally. It seems like Will might not be that successful in his emotional intelligence as it relates to building and maintaining relationships with others.
Healthy relationships. I don't know. He laughed at the joke at first. We're only talking about facts.
He did laugh and then it looked like she didn't, and then he reacted. Weird stuff, I don't really wanna get into that. Let me say a couple more things about this and then I'll move on. There was something I really wanted to share that I read in this.
Oh, this was interesting to me. On average, we have 60,000 thoughts a day according to research by Dr. Fred Luskin of Stanford University. And only about eight to nine percent are present moment thinking, right?
This is referred to as monkey mind, which can lead to impulsive behavior or emotional reactions when our emotional brain hijacks our thinking brain, especially when we feel stressed or triggered. This is called an amygdala amygdala. I can talk amygdala hijack. The amygdala is the emotional part of your brain, okay?
So, all right, Lus, you got the amygdala being hijacked because you're stressed or triggered, right? And now your cognitive brain, your thinking brain, like it has been overridden. And that's why people react emotionally without thinking. All right, that's a paraphrase from somebody who's not a doctor who just reads stuff and listens and learns.
The fact that you got 60,000 thoughts a day on average, imagine if you reacted to every last one of them. We would be out of our minds. Like God didn't give us the spirit of fear, but a power of love and a sound mind. Listen, I just, this is for me, what one of the primary things that I took from this, and it was because I was reading this book, and I just wanted to take a second to share with you all something that's a concern for me because I think we are underestimating the value of a sound mind.
And I believe it's because we are following our emotions everywhere they go. We're being led by emotions. And because we're being led by emotions, our thinking brain isn't kicking in. So I'll give you an example of what I'm talking about, right?
I understand that emotionally for people, especially if you were offended by the joke, but here's the thing, when your emotions move faster than you're thinking, you're feeling something before you actually hear it or understand it. So as an example, people feel like the joke was inappropriate, right? I'm not here to defend whether it was or wasn't. I'm just not sure when I think about it.
I wasn't sure in that moment does Chris Rock actually notice that she has a disease? I didn't know. I can't assume that Chris Rock is just on her Instagram page every day. Like I can't assume that.
You get what I'm saying? He's a human being. He might not, we're, remember, we're just going off of the thought if this was real. Everything I'm saying is like, what if this was real?
I can't assume that. Now emotionally, if I'm offended, I might want to apply though that, like see this is the problem when we get emotional about things. We apply things that aren't there. Like cause he never used the word alopecia.
He made a ball headed joke, which was a joke about her hairstyle. Now again, I'm going to tell y'all something. I don't go around assuming just because a woman has shaved her head, that something is wrong with her. You feel me?
But that doesn't mean that a person can't joke about something in that setting. I don't think joking about alopecia is funny. We've done an alopecia awareness show on this show. We have had someone on this show.
You know what I'm saying? So that doesn't change for me. But the thing for me is that just because I emotionally feel the way about something, all right, let me make it personal. Okay?
Cause I like to make things personal so it doesn't seem like I'm choosing something. Well, you can't say that. Look, I'm ball headed. Is it alopecia when the man go ball?
That's what it is right on ball head. You know what I'm saying? Listen, like people got ball jokes all the time. So, but I'm not comparing that to don't don't don't take that wrong.
I'm not comparing that. That's why I want to use some personal. Okay. People who listen to the show know that, you know, me and my wife been trying to have a baby for 14 years, right?
Now, there are times emotionally where I can be triggered off of something that somebody says about a kid. I can be triggered off the weight of somebody acts a question about a kid or, you know, people might, oh, y'all don't have kids or whatever. But listen, emotion, but I got to have impulse control and my thinking brain is like, gimme, they don't know. You can't you can't apply that to them.
They don't know. You get what I'm saying? But it doesn't mean I don't feel those emotions because there's something, you know what I'm saying? Like, look man, I could be all right.
Let me just say this. Okay. I want to make this all the way real so y'all understand where I'm coming from. I can be so emotionally triggered off of kids.
I can be sitting around a group of people that are talking about their kids. Nothing wrong with that, right? They're not doing anything. And I can be emotionally triggered, right?
Because that's something that for me is personal. But what would not make sense is for me to think that everyone in the world should revolve around me. And this is the problem I think with society today. We have an issue and we have been trained through the victim mentality and through like this false civil right leader.
It's almost like we want to be Hollywood civil right leaders. We're taking the things that were done by true civil right leaders and we're living through, living them through marketing campaigns, right? So these people actually risk their lives and do things. We want to go out and make a commercial about it.
We communicate through marketing campaigns in such a way that is making us believe we're heroes because we put a phone on and did a video and we're being taught to think that the world revolves around us and our feelings. That does not mean that I think we should go out offending people, especially if we know what's wrong with them. But it also means that I've been offended before and it doesn't make it right for me to lack emotional intelligence. And if I'm being real, my lack of emotional intelligence is more of a reflection on me than it is the person who offended me.
That's the hard lesson. We live in a society, this is why I'm not a fan of the victim mentality. I don't let anyone tell me what I cannot do because I'm black, because I'm this. Don't tell me I can't have a Jerry curl because I'm bald headed.
Don't make me grow a fro. But I told my wife today, I was like, you know what? The more and more I think about it as an adult, I understand why Martin Lawrence on the episode became Brother Shaquille's Sunflower. And when he grew to have fro for those of us who used to watch Martin, like Martin had to have fro, he went away to some coat.
I'm like, you know what, as an adult, I might don't make me grow half of a fro on y'all. I mean, it might be a little patchy, which y'all don't know is I can still grow 90% of my hair. See, I'm a person that went bald because it ain't perfect and I don't wanna fake a haircut. I ain't really bald, bald for real.
Oh, I can fake a haircut on y'all. Don't make me fake a fake, don't make me do it. I ain't gonna do it. All right, so what was I saying?
What I'm saying is that, man, it isn't emotionally intelligent for me, even though I have problems, even though a comedian may get on a stage and tell a joke. It's not emotional and intelligent for me to live life and think and put myself in the place of a victim at all times and wanna make a commercial or do a protest or a movement every time somebody steps on my feet or every time that things don't go right at every moment in life. That's not real life. It's not really what God laid out in the Bible.
When you look at Joseph, for instance, who was sold into slavery by his brothers, he had to bless them later. Look at his character, it doesn't mean that emotionally he wasn't hurt. I'm not here to dismiss anybody's ability to be emotionally offended or to be triggered. You get what I'm saying?
It happens to all of us. But I think we're making a mistake when we give people the justification to react impulsively. And when we celebrate the idea of reacting impulsively, that is a world that embraces sin. Because the root principle of this situation is impulsive behavior through the lack of emotional intelligence.
So for me, it's less about, look, like I said, I'm only talking about it as if it's real. I'm not sure it was or wasn't. But I know that if it was, that it was a public display on a global stage all around the world of a lack of emotional intelligence. And there were people convincing themselves, no offense if you were like this, or if you still feel this way, we can disagree and still be brothers and sisters.
That's what we do and inspire guys, people. But I am here to challenge you. Think about it. Should you walk around and think that just because you are offended, it allows you to lash out with a lack of intelligence emotionally.
Which scientifically, through psychology, is being proven to have a connection to the lack of success through building and maintaining relationships. There are people walking around here in horrible relationships. Can't grow, can't go nowhere with people. And they're wondering why and it's because they live in a world of impulsive behavior where they justify lashing out on any and everyone that disagrees with or offends them.
I've been offended at work before. People have offended me, said stuff to me all the time. All types of times. Look, this false sense of pride, like you're proving something because you take it to the next violent level.
I'm gonna just be real, that's something in the inner city that's sold to us at a young age and it's alive. That's the person that ends up in jail. You're not the tougher person. You're not the smarter, the better person, because you can react with more violence.
You lack emotional intelligence, y'all. And until we look in the mirror and realize that that's what's driving us, the lack or the inability to control our impulses is literally running our lives a muck. And it's attached to so many other things outside of just the situation. Relationships, SAT scores, education, finances, your ability to be a leader.
It's attached to everything. But we think it's a game. Why? Because I can get up and post a post on Facebook or social media and say, I woulda did this.
You know, you had people saying, hey, I celebrate him for defending his wife. But really, was that, was that defense? Like, was that proper defense? Emotionally intelligent defense?
I'm gonna tell you something. I got one of the smartest mobs you ever go in here in your life. I'm gonna just be real with you and say it. I tend to be a fairly witty person in the heat of the moment.
I can come up with something very fast. Will Smith is one of the most charming, talented actors of our time. If Will Smith wanted to defend his wife in a setting like that and you wanted to go across the line and do something that probably still would qualify as lacking emotional intelligence, but woulda been a lot more intelligent in my opinion and a lot more understandable if it was a true defense. You get up and say something back to him.
Hecklem, right? They're hecklers in the crowd all the time. Get up and do what buddy loved in the Clumps movie when he went off on Dave Chappelle who was the comedian in that movie. What's my point is like, yo, slapping somebody is now the response for words?
And then you're assuming that he knows. Come on, man. Turn on any comedy show, especially a secular comedy show and tell me somebody that in the world that can't be offended. Everything offends someone.
So if we live in a world where we're creating people who are weak, who don't have strength emotionally, spiritually, look at what Joe went through in the Bible and God restored him, but it ordered for God to restore him in that way he had to stay with God. But if he lacked emotional intelligence, his first wife was trying to convince him to curse the name of the Lord. Listen, y'all, all I'm saying is when I look through the Bible, I see people like Ruth who lost her husband and her family and stuck with Naomi, her mother-in-law and Naomi guided her. And that's where Boaz found her.
I just see story after story in a Bible where people where we're faced with challenges and emotional triggers and things that would offend them like Daniel being thrown in a lion's den, like the three Hebrew boy, like I mean, there are so many situations biblically that we can pull from. And I don't see where any of them tell us to lack emotional intelligence or to celebrate those that do. I'ma sum it up with this. The biggest danger of all this to me is that this is the world that we are creating for our children to live in.
We're creating a world and telling them their victims. Listen, I would never, man. Sometimes I just be, I can't wait to have kids today. I could just give them the podcast.
I'm just giving them the lessons of the podcast. Like, don't let anybody stop you. Don't let anybody tell you you're listening. I don't care.
Listen, I've seen people with one leg, we're in a race. You are not gonna be able to move forward if you keep convincing yourself that you are a victim and keep softening your core to be weaker, to not be able to withstand. Listen, no, everybody will never like you. That's just real, y'all.
I don't know, it seems like we don't like real life. So we wanna create a fake life that still ain't as good as real life and we're all self-righteous and canceling each other. And everybody feels some type of way until somebody goes in your past and finds some post or tweet that you said or thing that you said. Like, listen, we've all seen it.
Let heal was without seeing cats the first song. There's so many stories in the Bible to pull from. Like, I mean, just open it up. Just, I dare you right now, just randomly open the Bible to any chapter, any book and read the whole chapter.
And unless you like in Leviticus or Numbers where they just say it, such and such be God, such and such and such and such and such and such. Like a whole chapter that if you find a story in the Bible, you're gonna be able to pull emotional intelligence away from it. Listen, I'm gonna sum it up like this. That situation in my opinion, wasn't a good look for anyone.
I don't have to slap somebody because they made a joke. But I got jokes too. There are other ways to defend yourself and there are other ways to come back at people. And emotionally intelligent people don't try to do something irrational as a response.
I'ma be real child, that's why so many people end up in prison. So many people are in prison. So many people are in trouble. So many people are dead, murdered, because someone else could not control their impulsive behavior because they lacked emotional intelligence because they acted off of a feeling before their cognitive brain could think.
Because they lacked the ability to deny immediate gratification. I hope and pray that as a believer, this content has challenged you today. I hope that it has blessed you. I want you to share it with somebody, man.
Listen, what we about over here is not bashing people. I understand like I said that, you know, listen man, it's so much, we can all be offended. I would rather you be strong and be weak than be brave than be a victim. I'd rather you grow in Christ because we all have flaws.
We all have shortcomings. But you gotta be careful not to just assume that everybody is out to get you and not allow yourself to believe that. And pray for God to send people around you that will support you, lift you up and guide you to where you need to go. I hope this podcast plays a part in your life in that way.
Listen, I appreciate y'all so much for listening. Y'all having an amazing day. And just make sure you share this show, like you were sharing a means of that slap, through your text, through your emails, through your social media. Share this show, man.
And keep coming back. We got some great content coming. Much love. I give up now that I would never see what you had for me.
Sometimes I just wanna give up now but I would never know because how far I could go. My life. Tell me, I should stop now. If I keep going, will I ever find out?
Well, then I'll just waste my time now. You can tell me, you can tell me now.