Guys people on today show the toys back in studio with me as we discuss something that people try to have all the time And don't want you to see cuz they don't want you to see how they can really be it's the other side of success or the ugly side of success How could you mess up the intro J? That makes no sense? This is your intro you can actually edit this out and you're still not gonna do it because you're that real Yes, I'm that real give me some real points look It's gonna be an excellent time in other side of success. We don't sit back relax and enjoy the inspiration Inspiration now in session My wife thinks I'm crazy.
How do we get here? I can't believe you all let me have a show Let me admire you he gave you vision and purpose much you struggle to dream because the seed of a song wasn't this New jeans, but was in them was denim. I guess within them. There's a different perspective that I'm trying to present them It ain't always peace when you see the piece.
I don't make you a Levi cuz you right Levi's what's up people? I am your host J Will And I would like to welcome you to inspire guys people where we balance faith and business to guide you to your purpose Yo, man, hopefully y'all feeling good I'm feeling a lot more refreshed and better the last couple days I've been sleeping hard like I've been knocked out because I've been busy Y'all know I started a new job recently and um, man It's just this first month has been a lot to like try to learn because I'm doing something totally new But there is light at the end of the tunnel. I started seeing it last week was real rough man I was up to like one o'clock in the morning on my laptop a couple days Just trying to like strategize and get some things together and like man I was telling to like whoa, this is crazy, but I had no regrets about doing what I'm doing But something clicked I stayed up real late I think Thursday or Friday and going into the weekend something started clicking and I started feeling better I had to travel Monday through Wednesday night Monday morning to Wednesday night So it felt like forever but I had a big meeting in Chicago that went real dope So I'm just thankful I feel good. I'm starting to understand what's happening in the presentation I mean that was in front of my boss my boss's boss My customer, you know, like I told y'all before like I'm managing a hundred million dollar account So this is like, you know a very important business and me and my counterparts the whole team did really well So I met my new team in person that I'm working with not my team They don't work for me, but the people I work with and yeah, it was just dope.
I feel good. So Inspire guys people this conversation you gonna hear today happen last week toya came in studio But I just been so busy. I didn't get to being able to upload it with my schedule being out of town But look we hear now we got a lot of new stuff coming. I want to do a new intro song We're gonna start releasing some video content It's a lot that I want to do I have a lot of transition taking place right now, but this is all good This is part of the process.
I love that y'all are able to experience this with me like as fire guys people I tell people all the time my life is pup. Uh, I can talk my life is private My strategy is public and I try to allow people in to see exactly how I'm doing what I'm doing Not that I'm anything special or doing something so special But I do kind of start from you know ground zero in the hood and seven mile in Detroit and here we are today You know saying just making progress and living life thinking those who helped me along the way Then you have your main Wilson music a gmail.com. Let me know what you think We in studio today with a toy listen I said I cannot do this one more time through a phone I gotta get to the studio. We gotta make this happen right.
Okay. That's why I rock with you That's why I rock with so you like it's like no halfway doing nothing No, no, no, I gotta be in studio. So here we go. This is the first in studio inspired guys people show probably of the last two years I can't even say it's 22.
So What we talking about today, man? We gonna be talking about the ugly side of success before we jump into that what's going on with you toy like what What was your week like you know since we last talk anything new and exciting man this morning trying to get to the studio I'm like what is happening to kids. Let me tell y'all happened another day So we getting up every morning. I'm trying to work on my exercise and in my study time and my prayer time right So I'm up at least two hours before the kids up, right?
So the kids bring their clothes down like mom. We need to wash cool. They know the routine They know the routine these kids come to me like my we helped you wash. I said, yeah What y'all do they took me in the laundry room and the laundry room they showed me the washing machine It was like we put the soap right here and then we put the bleach right here Wow, but it's a full load of colored clothes.
I'm like listen Listen, so they poured it in there though they poured it in the compartment of where the bleach goes Now you remember back in the day when we used to watch it wasn't no compartments. You just pour bleep in clothes, right? So I'm like I'm so grateful for technology. So me and me trying to hurry up pull all the way clothes out to watch the machine Switch the load out put some white clothes in there So we can still use so we always the soap in the bleach and finish the cycle listen this week has been absolutely bananas I get up today.
They won't pancakes. I'm like I'm out here. I'm gone. I don't care what y'all got to do today I'm out of here.
I'm going to record You know, it's crazy like that made me think about like so they was just doing what they saw. Yeah, yeah Yeah, all right. We saw you do something over here with some bleach and some detergent It's like they did what they saw but they didn't do it, right? Correct.
All right was funny though It's I walked them through so I have a 7a in 10 year old right I've walked them through watching their clothes I'm raising men. So, you know, no shame to my husband but being married to one You know, it's like let me let me teach these kids some stuff some skills I'm learning that is the mama's fault. No shame to his mama But it's the mama's fault that our men be lacking in some areas I'm like let me teach my kids how to watch so I was just so just thrown back like when have y'all ever seen me pull bleach with color Close, but it's okay. I pull myself together and I said, you know what they try some I'm gonna go ahead and give them an effort Where there any clothes harmed in that situation actually there were not no clothes no clothes were harmed We caught the cycle right before it went through the bleach cycle That's funny you say that though about the mama So I guess what my mom used to do of course Saturday morning church music for whatever reason man When I wake up in the Saturday morning and mommy if you listen and you know what time it is when I heard that church Church music you already know get up and you're real I even we probably was at three at the time like We're over.
That's it. But here's how mama did it was dope mama. I'm not lying to you I think I was talking to Tiff about this recently She would be telling us while she while we were doing it. She was like she would be going off You know like I don't you know is look y'all took some of my white Indian Asian listeners all that stuff I don't know how y'all mama's doing in your culture So I'm not saying y'all mama's don't do the same thing But it's a black mama thing for show to have a way of like going off on you why you doing something I'm like I'm doing what you said, but what my mama would be doing is like oh, yeah, cuz when y'all white when y'all get married And your wife gets sick.
Oh, you gonna know how to mama Listen, so she taking out all her aggression on you Going off on us, but hopefully it paid off hopefully Tiffany would agree You know, I think I know how to I know how to get in there and do some things that's hilarious. No, I get it I don't I can't do I can't clean bathrooms. Why why when nine times out of ten? It's y'all they need to be clean.
I know I can't I just I can't do it. I cannot but I'm like, all right look Whatever is you can't do you know saying you know, I got you No, no, no, no, no, listen my dad was such a stickler when it came to cleaning like I promise you He used to stand at the door especially when it came to a bathroom Oh my gosh, so it's just so funny when I watch me clean the bathroom. It just makes me cringe Listen, I'm not even gonna please be out there But the way he clean I just be looking like who taught you how to do this but I go ahead and I acknowledge what I have You know, I try to throw in some tips every night again Maybe buy a few extra more Clorox wipes, you know trying to encourage some different ways of doing things, but You know, he's a hard-working other look as my As long as you take care your business and other areas I guess I guess No, that's funny, but like also real stuff. I'm just thinking like, you know, like today We were gonna talk about the ugly side of success.
Yeah, obviously we knew I didn't know you were gonna share that But with that story even make me think about what your kids is like, all right There's this all here's my issue with success today. My issue with success is I go on social media, right? And you got some let's say some multi millionaire and their whole thing is there showing you the house They're showing you the cars and then they're selling you that is easy So it's like they're uploading the results of whatever hard work they put in and I'm not saying that their hard work might be legitimately real So that's not my great with them is what they have my great with them is how they show it and how they sell the message Yeah, so all right think about your sons. I'm on Instagram.
I'm like, okay, well, he I see all right I see him this he uploaded this he did this all right I'm gonna do what I saw yeah I'm gonna take the bleach what was this bleach and detergent if I pour here and we expect the results and we About to mess around and die our clothes Hold on the tree and that's cool. Exactly you you you did what you saw, but you didn't do it right like No, that's that's good. Look at how they just tie together. No, that's that's absolutely good And I think that that is the danger of watching the result without the process, right?
That's the danger So they may come in at the tail in or or maybe they've been watching the process But they weren't taking the proper notes to make sure they know when to plug what and to where you know what I'm saying Because they knew I know that these two items will clean the clothes, but they didn't know when to use them You know what I'm saying? So sometimes we do that with success We'll look at someone else's success and we'll say I've seen them plug these two things together Yeah, but you don't know when to plug it at what time that you're in the process That's and that's what the process so that's dope the process is Established to teach you not just a what and that's why the whole how to be inspired the purpose guy It goes through all of those elements of like not just the what but the how the wind yeah Where yeah, and so many of us we just look at the what and we think the what is enough So it's like I take all my ingredients of the what and let me throw it over here Hope it come out right but ultimately it's like you're doing stuff out of order and it's throwing everything off You know what just happens that I'm gonna give real estate. I feel like real estate is so You know, I've taken real estate classes, you know I've been a part of groups and courses and some good information too, but what happens with real estate is like it's the time of the Market it's the location of the property It's all these elements that you really you can learn in the class But you got to go through that process to see like last year in 2021 You know, we went to the closing table twice with investment properties that didn't work out for whatever reason and my point was like There were other elements I learned through that process that you can't just look at what somebody else did And just jump in that part that part but what about like so what would you say though to the fact of like? Why do people you think want to skip the process like what is it about the process?
What is about the results that we just like yeah, give me that but I don't want the process I don't I don't think that they want to skip the process I think that they're ignorant to the fact that there is that let me say this let me say this way I don't think that they want to skip the process I think they think that their process is different. So my process because we have different processes I'm it's not gonna look like it did for you. So I'm gonna so it may be easier for me I may be able to take some shortcuts. I may be able to you know, cut some stuff off My process is gonna be different and so while your process is going to be different I don't want you to negate the length of time it takes for you to steal go through the process Yeah, and so anytime you try to cut, you know take corners cook corners take shortcuts now You're just making the process even longer, but there's still a process.
So I that's you know, no, that's really different ain't easy Yeah, yeah, that's what it come down to like different ain't easy Yeah, so like we always try to create this little excuse for ourself like alright If I see you go through like, you know last time we talked about the 10-year marathon We're like yeah, you might have took you 10 years I could do it in two and it's like well, you might but that might look it's some it's some people who got to stuff quicker And it didn't last yeah, so it's like the process is really there for our own protection But we want to skip it and give and make excuses for ourselves and it might not take some people 10 years But I'm gonna tell you this I don't watch like I said before I don't watch people waste 10 years We waste 10 years and don't think none of it, but as it relates to like success I think too. I don't know if it's like do we want success for the wrong reasons You know I'm saying like is it like we just want the things and we don't understand what's beyond the things Like I'm not saying the things are bad. I'm just saying that like if the only thing I want is the thing Then is that enough like is it really enough? So here's the thing this is this is gonna sound absolutely Bananas now that this is processing through my thoughts, okay While I'm still in the process, it's the best part of the of the journey and I say that because I am not it's so funny Facebook reminded me of something I posted April 1st 2010 right wow it wasn't even a complete sentence y'all I'm just looking at it like what who is this person like what are you talking about right?
So 12 years later, I'm looking at this thing and I'm saying man if it wasn't for the process Who would I be right now? You know what I'm saying while I'm still in it right? I'm still growing I'm still changing I'm still evolving and it's funny Record talking about that that evolution when you're growing I don't believe that there's a place of arrival I don't think that we arrive anywhere and that's only because we should be Consistently growing and evolving right and so with being smacked up in the process I'm looking at it and I'm starting to wonder if the promise is the is the evolution in the process Yeah, where it's not a destination It's more so the growth that's happening as you're doing it because you're becoming a greater version of you and the reward and all the Things we get is just the incentives and the you know the pat on the back for staying committed to the process Yeah, that's what you just said I'm like that's actually life-changing for real if a person I'm like anybody out there listening if you can't actually just catch what she just said is The process is the promise. Yeah, like the process is the promise We think that the thing is the promise like so we literally think like the car the Range Rover Like that's what we think that's the promise is like no that is literally just a rip like a result of you doing What is like and the reason that's crazy to is because like you said we still in it I'm still in it, but the whole thing is Everybody in it.
Yeah, like if you think you're not in it anybody who arrives look look I know this this might sound I almost don't want to say it But like it's like anybody who arrives is dead. Yeah, yeah, that's it or Jesus it came back and we know Like if I arrived in I mean I'm done with I'm done with growth Yes, like I'm just done like I'm just I'm still living I'm learning and I also think that that humility keeps us hungry And keeps us grounded because it's like I don't want to give you side myself. Yeah, I don't want to get air again I want to start feeling myself. Yeah, like the Lord give it in the Lord take it away So it's like the moment you think you arrived in God.
Okay, you do you don't with the process? I had you right right right right right no, yeah That's kind of that's kind of nuts that now looking at this and I told you I think I shared this I don't know if I shared this in my last show, but I talked about home in this 52 day reveal right? I've been studying the book of Nehemiah and I've been in this place where I'm like, okay, Lord show me you know what I'm saying show me how to Grow closer to you. I was studying the book of Isaiah I was in Isaiah 58 and he was just talking about how the empty rituals and you know people Yeah, you've been going to charge But have you been there to worship me or under the pastor or like and I know we look at the pandemic and we look at all of the you know Unfortunate things that were the result of the pandemic But I want to take a moment and just look at all of the things God called us to do during that season, right?
Okay, yeah, the church building was closed But this was the opportunity for you to show God like oh, you know what? I'm really about this life So did you carve out prayer time when you know we talked about how you know we was doing nothing for all day You know just being able to watch TV and eat and do nothing But did you carve out time to study did you carve out time to pray and I'm saying this because it's a part of that process And so studying the book of Isaiah and just really understanding like man You really want us to worship and seek you with a pure heart without any intent, right? So think about it if we're studying him We're in prayer and we're going and we're doing this in the out of the intent of his heart then that is the promise There is no physical destination or no physical thing that we want to obtain because he said seek me first So if we're doing that in our process, we're becoming better at who he's called us to be That's the reward things will be added like and I think that like the whole idea of things will be added Yeah, I think we we really don't get that and I'm gonna just say this for real and like Being in a process for a number of years now you hit different little levels of success You do levels of goals along the way Yeah, and that's why what you're talking about is important And I think people should understand like when you in the process like the reason that the process is the promise It doesn't mean that when we say a 10 year marathon like last show like that you got to wait 10 years for result Correct. No, it's just saying you actually winning every every step absolutely because think about it When we talk about the marathon if you've never ran a marathon you tired like so did you put your foot on the on the pavement?
You like bruh, I need a pit stop where some water where is right? But then you start watching your clock. I don't know about y'all but I like to run it be difficult for me to run But I'm always looking like man. How long have I been doing this?
I hate it. How long I been running right? But see when you start watching the clock you like man I've been doing this for hours man. I've been running for two hours This is the promise because he said what I'm building your endurance I'm building your body And so we're thinking I'm just trying to get to the finish line instead of recognizing the progress that's happening in the process That's crazy And that's crazy because that idea of like the beauty of being in the process and following Christ is like you grow while you're in it Yes, you don't actually have to wait till the end for results No, it's like you get results while you're in it But then you also grow so you get this balance of like there will be things that like the whole point of like seeing you don't arrive like You know, I've been I've been you know, I've talked about on the show like, you know I just started a new job recently and when I say it's new You know what I mean?
I've been at this organization for 15 years and have kind of grown in different roles and leadership and you know Still have some growing to do but I made a decision to pivot To get some new to get a new skill set I made that decision to go somewhere new that is way more uncomfortable right now Then if I could have took another job in the same area But it would limit my long-term capabilities because I need to go get this new skill set But my point is this I've been openly telling people how challenging it is for me right now through this process But I was telling somebody like oh like somebody it might have been to actually do I regret it? I was like, oh no, I'll regret it. See because it's a win like please believe me It's a win, but it's we don't have to life comes with balance Something can be a win and challenging and uncomfortable at the same time I'm like and I still would have did it again, but it's kicking my butt. I got to go to Chicago Monday already feel late for my flight It's two days away, but it's like I'm already busy Like you know I'm saying that's part of it What what I like what you said about about the balance piece and I think that this may be where a lot of people struggle because Balance for you balance for Jay and Tiff is not balanced.
It's for your meat You know what I'm saying? And I think that that's like a realization that we have to really take a moment and acknowledge like man I'm trying to strive. I'm seeing the success on social media I'm seeing the success, you know wherever people are posting or wherever you're seeing it and you're looking at their life And you're trying to say okay I need to find that that level of balance But what's balancing to Jay is not balancing for LaToya You know I'm saying the things that I have to balance in LaToya's life is not the things that Jay got a balance in his and so Be okay with learning how to balance According to you and your process and not what you see another and that's why you can't just go and put detergent and bleach That's it if you saw them do it and it's like you don't know they had white clothes in there you got colored clothes Yeah, so to your point you have to know your situation look I love that you said that part of the process is you actually understanding your situation So it might take me going through that process and being like something simple is like okay Let's say if it's some dude on Instagram giving marriage advice and I watch it And he like you know um, you know for my wife I bring her flowers every week fellas if you ain't taking your white flowers Yeah, yeah, I just go I did what he do But I do it right because his wife told him she like flowers now I'm bringing flowers to Tiff and she looking like what's this? Yep, Tiff might have preferred something totally different than the flowers She might have wanted to my wife like the travel if I want to In a reserve hotel you give what I'm saying It's your point my life and your life are different We can't just copy and paste what people are doing and that's also the ugly side of success is you gonna have to figure it out Yes, yes, I think that a lot of times people don't they don't take the time to look at the responsibility that success brings You know what I'm saying when we talk about the ugly side of success listen don't get me wrong I have had some things written down in my prayer journal and I'm like thank you Lord Right and don't get me wrong.
He has allowed us to be successful in a lot of different areas, especially when it comes to Chase Gray University But baby the responsibility behind it you talking about building a team now I'm not just responsible for the income that let's oil you can bring it in her pocket I'm responsible for the hours that my team put in that I now have to compensate them for I'm responsible for the coaches that enroll Because I'm responsible for you know making sure that they're entering into the program You know just the different the different things they have to go through and so we'll look at the success of someone But we don't realize the ugly side of what that success could bring We just talk about how the finishing line keeps moving forward it goes further and further So I've gotten to this place. Okay, Lord. You have nurtured me and pruned me through this process I've been able to remove some things and grow in some areas boom. I hit a milestone I hit an area where I hit a goal right now.
We're excited, but if we're expecting to go further guess what? There's going to be more that's gonna be required Are you ready to show up to fulfill that responsibility and the reason it's so important for us to say this is because when you know What you about to live you could be prepared for yeah? Could you imagine if I gave you a 200 pound in pen like so it looked like an ink pen and you thinking I'm about to just pick this up It's going easy, but you pick it up and it's like whoa if you mess around and break your wrist because you picked it up And in your mind you pick up something light differently than you pick up something heavy So if we tell you that something is heavy, we're not trying to discourage you from it. We're trying to prepare you for it So like here's it this what I thought of right so you you're full-time entrepreneur I'm still an employee right corporate America both have his pros and cons right like we just said we're not here to push one way You're doing something at all, but however, I got an example you talk about the paycheck portion right?
Mm-hmm. Here's what's different for me employee versus entrepreneur taxes I get a paycheck my job does all the work and they calculate all taxes for me I get the little stuff the W2 they do all of that for me cool No responsibility on my part other than to take the forms they give me and go follow Entrepreneur now, this is for the people again the ugly side of success. You might be successful entrepreneur when you start making that money Now you gotta go and do these taxes. You got payroll responsibilities There's a lot more required of you to do that listen when Jay start talking about taxes my hair drop Listen if you're gonna saw this like my head just drop what is today?
I think I think about 13 more days Well, I was doing tech stuff this morning trying to be prepared. I'm like and it's so funny There was a time in my life me and me to laugh at this all the time where listen we was pulling W2 from December Okay, we was like where is the last check stuff trying to file taxes now? I'd be like no way wait wait is it April 15? I still got time and it's funny that you say that because again, it sounds good And this is something that I like to share all the time especially as a business owner So for any of you out there who are you're like where do I start?
What do I do especially when it comes to the money? I've been I've gone through a couple trainings and you know done some things where I'm learning how to separate income right so having seven different bank accounts right even even when you don't have you may not Have been bringing enough money for all seven bank accounts But having them so that you can disperse money right learning how to disperse your money So that when it's time to pay taxes when it's time to pay a team When it's time, you know for the different things that you need to be responsible for they're there that was not something that was taught to me Upon starting the business it was like oh you just paid me a thousand dollars that thousand dollars went into my pocket Right now, that's not how they go right now. Listen. So now that thousand dollar goes into the bank account I gotta pay the team.
I gotta pay my software. I gotta pay taxes I gotta do my tithing like there's so many different elements and again It's the level of responsibility behind the success that I don't think people take a moment to really acknowledge It's ugly and like I was like as you was talking to like just expounding on like the bank accounts And and like the reason that some people don't want to go through the real process of real success is because of that Yeah, it's because yo well, I was just used to like one bank account. I'm check the chick So I barely got money in there anyway, I was really just I'm talking me now I was used to spend in I was used to live in life Spending a hundred percent of my money. Yeah, so hey if I got five hundred dollars this week cool I'm about to go do four hundred and ninety six dollars work this stuff Yeah, six days Yeah, any and look forward to the next check and that's the mentality we have to the point that when you have to start thinking beyond this week You it almost at first is uncomfortable, but to your point like you know Like that's like for me as an investor when I started investing That also is frustrating because then now you got to pull a tax forms from all this other stuff You got to understand capital gains you think oh, I just made this money off of this stock and it's like oh man I'm like let me be careful.
I might enter a whole nother tax bracket and those are things like you mess around and make too much money Yeah, and all of us. This is what's funny about us. We all think rich people are evil That you know hey we blame people for being rich or because a lot of us I speak for myself coming from nothing But I've learned to change that because it's like well You got the opportunity to grow too and when you get there you will start seeing like man I worked hard for this money too. It was just because you have if I got five dollars I worked for it So it's like don't see me with twenty five dollars when you used to see me was zero and think I changed It's like no I worked for this so I ain't just like I know I'm going on But like my thing to you is like when you just looking at other people's success.
It's easily not to appreciate their work Yeah, it is and it's easier for you to Count yourself out the game. It's easier for you to look at what someone else is doing and say that I'm not there Versus looking at where you are in your process and saying but I'm much further than where I was and I think that in order for you To really enjoy what's happening around you is to take a moment and acknowledge your progress is acknowledged And so here's the thing let me say this too because I kind of went on a rant last week And I'm still on that rant I don't know where about the whole pacifying thing It's like, you know, well, I didn't eat cookies today That is not enough like you have to you have to decide what the goal is what am I working towards and how much are you willing to sacrifice? So that you can reach that goal hasn't been easy being a full-time entrepreneur business owner No, and I know that a lot of times, you know, it's it's made to be seen that it's easy and it's fun I was talking about this other day How you know one of the things we hear about why you want to be an entrepreneur is the freedom of your time and what I want To go ahead and dismantle that myth because it's not a freedom of your time if you don't have the proper systems in place You're actually spending more time you have more time than I do because at five o'clock six o'clock When it's time for your time to be up at your employer You can clock out and go home as a business owner if the systems aren't in place. You're not clocking out And let me add on that.
Here's what's crazy, right? And this is why I love the dynamics of like our experiences Even in business the higher you go you become an entrepreneur. I'm an entrepreneur. Yeah, yeah For me, I don't start it in work like two nights ago.
I worked until one thirty a.m. Like in bed with my laptop I'm not bragging about this. This is the ugly side. This is what people see we are so used to putting things in people face Oh, let me show you my car.
I got let me show you my thing the reason I'm not you never will see me with things on social I've never done it. I never know what kind of car I drive sometimes is good sometimes the bag I don't even know what kind of car J driving I'm a house But the thing that's crazy about that to your point is like we throw things in people face But we don't throw the process like the reason I throw the process in your face is because I want you to know like yeah I don't get off work. Yeah, now again. I'm not bragging, but what I'm saying is But there's two sides.
So some people are you some people would say oh that J. You don't need it That's not healthy. You don't need that to you what you working with you won't get up But then here's the here's the thing they don't understand is like this is where the balance comes in well So who much is given much is required? Yeah, so the reason I don't start with the things or show the things is because they don't matter It's just when you see the requirements Most of us want the things and not the requirements when I'm trying to tell you all this let's put the things aside Do you really want to be successful because you're gonna have some long nights?
I'm not saying it's gonna always be like that. You're gonna have to make a decision in life about like all right What is maximizing my capability? But here's what I will say Especially Christians I feel like so many of us because we can make a lot of excuses about how success is ungodly and some aspects of success And I would agree with a lot of like the the extent people will go to be successful can be ungodly right that we go far the other way So we sell ourselves so short because we scared of any level of uncomfort or discomfort No, you gonna have to figure that out you gonna have to stay up some you like you can't live your life in complete comfort and think that you're Please and God there's no way to and I encourage you to just sit down and define what success means to you What does that look like right because again? We talk about things for a very long time Except especially you know growing up on the east side of Detroit when you see success you see things You don't see it, you know the growth of the person you don't see how they've evolved and how they change how they think and how they You don't see those things you see the material side And so even when it came to starting the business I had to sit down and say okay What was success for LaToya?
What does success look like for me because if I spend my time comparing and competing to what I see that I'm gonna spend so much time running in circles I may never really work or operate and the foot is of what God has for me Lord show me what success Right and so as he began now Let's I'm gonna be honest when he started to show me I'm like what does that have to do with me? Like you're showing me success and all I keep seeing is people and how I'm supposed to serve and how I'm supposed to help this person I'm like hey come back show me what that has to do with LaToya But again, it's that process because if it wasn't for the process pruning me if it wasn't for the process Eliminating some of the things that I used to think or say and do then how could I really be who he need me to be? Yeah, he that's a dope way to look at it like God show you the process and it don't look like what you want No, yes, you want God to show you the stuff. Yeah, and what we really trying to do is train your success I we're trying to give you a different way because because the reason people want things to it is because the things become a trophy We think the things represent success And so that's why you will have people who really can't afford things like cuz I asked myself these type of questions all the time Psychologically, why do we go out and get things that we literally cannot afford to create the illusion that we can and is because We've been tricked into thinking that the things were the success What you want to find successful people start looking at character Yeah, start looking at how people move there, you know I did a show on emotional intelligence like start looking at like you know what this person is moving like this I don't care if they have things or not because guess what some wealthy people don't just go out and buy a big chains So they can prove their success to you.
Absolutely when God validates you you no longer have to prove it to every other people By showing them things here. Look, I want to read something real quick You said some early that made when you were talking about basically the endurance and the race and it reminded me of James chapter one And this in the in the in the LT but just a couple couple of this is let's start a verse two It says dear brothers and sisters when troubles of any kind come your way consider it an opportunity for great joy. Yeah All right, that's nuts. That's nuts.
That's not verse verse three says for you know that when your faith is tested Your endurance has a chance to grow So I'm just I'm just like just on that thought when you were talking earlier about the process is the promise the thing is God wants You to have endurance You don't want you to get in a race and be tired but in order not to be tired You got to keep running. Yeah, and so many of us we come to that crossroad of like, you know what if running means being tired I just won't run. Yep versus saying I'm gonna keep running until running doesn't make me tired anymore And I have endurance and verse four says this So let it grow for when your endurance is fully developed. You will be perfect and complete meeting nothing Yeah in order to get to that perfect and complete place You have to grow your endurance in order to grow your endurance You have to go through the process.
That's the connection of all this when we start separating God's word and separating parts of that process What we're doing is operating outside of God's created system for purpose success. Yeah, that's funny that Description I'm laughing over here because this morning. I'm working out. You know, I'm working.
I'm doing some new stuff So I'm sitting up here doing jumping jacks, right? Never in my life have I thought that I needed to do a jumping jack for a minute And this is so funny how a minute is not that long but it really is So I'm sitting here doing these jumping jacks, right? And I started talking to myself like with Toya, you don't want to be tired going upstairs. I'm more Letoya this summer when you out here playing catch with the boys you want to run with them You want to have fun?
I am literally having this conversation with myself And as I'm talking out loud the time began to seem like it had moved a little quicker, right? It seemed like it seemed like that minute wasn't as long as it was when I'm like when is this minute going to be over? Yeah, and so I'm saying that to say is when when the word talks about that endurance when you're in it I want you to start looking at what is this doing for me? Not what am I going to get once I'm done in it, right?
What is this doing for me? How is this helping me grow? I look at success. It has been a goal of mine.
Y'all for a very long time to wake up every day by 4.35 So that I can get my morning started so that I can get my you know do everything I need to do in the house I've been waking up at 5 o'clock in the morning for maybe a little over a couple months now now my goal is 4.30, right? That may sound simple to some of you because you're like what I start my day at that time Well, I don't I work work home So I'm like I get it when I get up, right? But this has been a form of success for me and I had to take a moment and say man See what I'm saying? This is why we can't look at what we may how we may look at success in someone else's life and say What's successful for you?
Because while for someone waking up at 4.30 in the morning, there's nothing That's when you start your day but for me it was a challenge Yeah, and so because I'm looking at this and I'm acknowledging the progress and I'm acknowledging it it's successful That's real and that's how you grow in your process And it's also like look you might be in your team of your marathon and just now Achieving that one little goal. Yeah, and I think it's important for people to know man when you have success This whole idea of like you haven't arrived is because you still have growth like I still have so many areas to grow in Yeah, and I'm just being real, you know, I I'm still so focused on growth I'd be uncomfortable talking about what I've already done sometimes because like I'm still look I don't people could easily just get the wrong ideas. Like look man. I'm still just trying to grow I'm still trying to do what a guy called me to do But one thing I know is this toy you're like I've learned how not to see things that success.
So somebody pulled up on the Range Rover, right? That's a dope truck I've seen people get Range Rovers in different situations So I've seen people still drugs to get Range Rovers I've seen people become an executive at corporate America to get a Range Rover I've seen someone being an entrepreneur to get a Range Rover I've seen somebody want to spend all of their money to get a Range Rover and somebody who can afford it So what I'm saying is that a Range Rover alone isn't enough to tell me anything about you Yeah, other than the fact that you bought a Range Rover or rent I don't know what your process looked like in order to get it Exactly. Yeah, so we got to learn how to value the process Yeah, I have respect for people who are successful and I see they work You know how like I say this sometimes like show your work like I remember you know You being a math class growing, you know high school, whatever And they start telling you like you starting with calculus and something like no no Don't just give me the answer you had to show the work listen And when you have to show that work, that's a different level because here's what they know You could just copy your answer. Yeah, I could just go buy a Gucci bag because some celebrity bought a Gucci bag I could copy the result.
Yeah, but I can't copy the process in your work So I value people who later work out. Yeah, and I'm like, all right this somebody who I have respect for, you know Let me let me bring it down to the to the kids again I like using them because they're my great teacher Listen, right that part so today I'm making pancakes before I got here Um, my son was like my let me help you make pancakes He's like I'm getting ready to be nine years old. You need to start. Let me help you cook right?
So I'm like bet I'm like so how many months away is your birthday? I'm like, what you mean? You about to be nine Give me tell me how many months away is your birthday. He's sitting here looking all goofy Now mind you this is one of my most brilliant children I'm talking about the way that his brain articulates information is mind blowing So I'm standing there and he's like guessing give me all type of stuff I'm like, whoa, wait a minute.
You can't help me start anything until you tell me how many months away and days your birthday is away He got so mad. He got the crying. He got the fussing So this is what I'm talking about their process, right? And so I made him stand there I made him tell me the months of the year several times until he was able to tell me how many months away his birthday was What I noticed is that in his process he got frustrated So he went from frustrated to crying But then when he started to recognize what I was doing he would laugh and cry at the same time Like this is so dumb because I know the answer But you're making me do all of this work I'm saying it to say that the way that his the way his process took for him to finally say oh two months and 18 days away It may not have looked like that for my other baby because he came straight in and was like What are you saying my birthday is in three months in such and such days, right?
And so we look at this thing and we say, man But why does their process have to be more difficult? Why why was their process more easy? And I want us to just take a moment and say, you know, you got to look at where you are And what are you gaining out of this process? He didn't just gain the opportunity to help me make pancakes He actually gained the opportunity to allow himself to not be so frustrated and overwhelmed to fall back and think That was the lesson.
It wasn't about how many months away it was It was stop rushing yourself, stop being frustrated, stop being overwhelmed, sit down for a second, Process it, allow your mind to think through it so that you can give me the right answer He was irritated, but you know, that's what my mom was supposed to do He grewed up in that moment, something as simple as that He grew and that's the thing I think we don't understand Is like this is why we talk about it's about that continue growth in the process It's like when I go through one thing is like, oh, okay, I see how I get it Like I get that okay, and then you have a victory And I think this is important man You you really find out who you are In failure and success Like when you go through these moments like you start finding out like, all right, who am I really? How do I want to be successful? Do I have character? You know, or was I just waiting to get to a certain point that I can act sideways on people And kind of broshade and you know, think I'm the man or whatever Like so I think what I love about just the process period Is it continues to show you who you really are?
Not who you're trying Because let's be real man, it's like in life There's this dynamic of who we're trying to be for people or convince them that we are And who we really believe we are And what I'm most thankful for And I've said this to people You know, for me growing up in the inner city Growing up through some level of poverty There were times that I didn't feel like I was in the game So like you you feel like you just trying to survive You're not really in the game So you might hear somebody talking about I remember back in 2008 And I talk about this a lot people were talking about Oh, the housing market is down by a house I'm like, I don't even know how to buy a house Like I didn't know nothing I'm like, I don't know what my credit score is So what I'm so thankful for now, you know, I'm saying, you know what 12, 14 years later Is that I'm in the game Regardless of how well or how whether I'm succeeding or failing It's a blessing just to be in your process And I think we got to embrace where we are with that So before we get out of here, you know what I'm saying? What's your like, you know, what you want to leave people with As we talk about the ugly side of success, you know Knock them upside to hear with something like If they ain't gonna listen to nothing else, we talk about today You want to leave with this? If y'all not gonna leave, if y'all not gonna listen to nothing else Know that I'm about to go find out what kind of car Jay Dry Because I'm trying to figure out, no Uh, no, no, no, no, listen, I just want to encourage you, man Wherever you are in the journey, right? Wherever you are, just acknowledge it One of the things, you know, that I just really try to help people do is shift their perspective You know, changing how you look at things, changing how you view things And know that your progress is way greater than the promise I know that we've all, you know, been waiting for the promise But know that we're already in the promise That's the reason why your process is looking the way that it looks So instead of trying to strive for a finish line Go ahead and start acknowledging your progress Go ahead and start waking up every day and saying, you know what, thank you, Lord That you've given me another opportunity to be who you've called me to be And what can you do in that day that's going to change Not the promise but the momentum and the process, right?
No, we're not trying to encourage you to run faster, find your pace, find your balance Run your own race, but acknowledge the progress as you are operating and learning in the process And I'll just add to that, man Let's let each other be great I feel like on both sides, you know, you got successful people that always want to throw everything Thoroughly stuff in your face And then you got some people who just live in life comfortably and accepting a lack of greatness Who are offended at the idea of becoming better Let's let's help each other Like if you further along pull someone up, if you further behind grab onto that hand And I think there's a level of pride that has to be put aside on both ends And some people sometimes think because they're less than and it makes them humble We got to stop lying to ourselves. There's nothing wrong with being less than But you can still go to hell and be broke Yeah, like I think we live under the mindset that like all rich and successful people are evil All poor people are going to heaven. No, that's not that's not how it works So there's pride that needs to be put aside on both sides But like Toya said man, the process is the promise and that's the ugly side of success Man y'all have a beautiful one until next time, you know, I'm saying we out here Oh No