I'm feeling relaxed. I'm feeling relaxed too. Oh, his voice has come on. Do you mean he voices?
He's gone. Ah, ah, ah, I'm going to pull. Ah, I'm feeling comfy, Paul. Right, start again.
No. Okay, I'm all right. Am I right? Oh, you're though.
I'm starting to crack me up. It's just, ah, something has cracked me up. What was I thinking said before? Crack, crack, poo-poo.
What's the thing he said? Oh yeah, I keep getting this thing. I know we're going to record the pod, right? And show you something about you, please.
And the phrase comes into my head. I'm today. It's bum bum gravy. Bum bum gravy.
Gravies. Bum bum gravy. Bum bum gravy. Bum bum gravy.
Watery ones. We don't need any more. Thank you. You'll not be entering your vision.
I thought you were starting something off. I thought you were passing the ball to me. Oh. Bum bum gravy.
Bum bum gravy. I'll come here. Bum bum gravy. Watery ones.
Right, that's it. It's granular ones. Granular ones. Bum bum gravy.
What do you mean granular ones? You're just going to run down a list of different types of arsegravies. You've got a whole mighty... It's a list song.
Hello. It's a new chiptoe. The Apparently Economy Company podcast. We ruined it.
Me lion egg? Fuck, e-line, I go for the charity shop that's market bin, the thrift shops, the jumble sales, and Powell and Great Britain, and bring you the treasure amongst the trash. The wonders, amongst the weirdness. Wanda is...
Yeah, but what about weird wonders? What was both weird end and wonder? Then it's fine. So they're not enough of a separation of opposites.
Are you judging? You hooked on when? I'm trying to... I'm at the concept.
I'm trying to articulate there, which is, they're not of a... They're not opposites. It sounds like an amazing sci-fi novel. The separation of opposites.
Yeah, it sounds like hard sci-fi. hard side fight. Yeah, it would be like mid 70s. Adrocks five.
Yes. And he lives in a Ford bubble created by his owner, whose mental state keeps him alive. So he's connected to the owner. Yeah, he knows he's in the bubble.
Yeah, he knows he's a conjuring existence. Yeah, a phantom, a technological phantom, but the man electronic dream. But the man doesn't know that this guy exists. So what's he doing there?
It's a good question. It's all complicated. The separation of opposite out next year. So what I mean is weird wonders are things, aren't they?
Yeah. Welcome to cheap show. I hate you. And a fucking noodle.
Pussy. Oh, you need full love noodles. It's just a factory show. You're going to have to learn the fucking sex.
Cheese show. Cheese show. It's a place of choice. You like silver.
It's a cheap show. And a girl and a nuzzle. Yes. Hello.
Yes. Hello. Fine. We're good.
So the murder on the old cheap heat express, though, that certainly was the last episode. What happened? The last episode. Just sitting in here again as usual.
Right. Good. So what's going on? We didn't have noodle of the dragon.
You can deny the law of cheap show again. I don't know what you mean. Shut up. It's my little novel where you've grained up the boundaries.
Novel means new. Yes, not new. It is new. You always try going out.
No, novel could be unique. Novel doesn't mean unique. Unique means you like novel. Yeah, as in new.
No, it's a synonym. I've knew it. You'll be wrong. I'll don't try anything.
Okay, Google. Define novel. This is the definition of novel. Interesting new or unusual.
Okay, you're not objective. He hit on a novel idea to solve his financial problems. I thought it was a synonym. I've been in this scintillating mini segment.
Paul looks up the meaning of a word. It's our brand new segment, ladies and gentlemen. Paul, lots of meaning. Oh, half a word.
I'm going to speak between the end. So what is next week then, Paul? I don't know. It'll come up with a conversation.
And I'll spring into action. But you were totally right. Yeah, I was wrong. Thank you.
It's nice to hear every now and then. Which is novel. Oh. Anyway, what a cheap joke.
You said that it's a Loki episode today. It's a Loki episode today. It's nice and chill. You know, it's just like a relaxed fit.
I'm literally my gym gems. I'm thinking isn't good. Can I also say Eli? What?
Laid a trap for me today before we started. I went to get the lighter to smoke a cigarette and I noticed he placed his lighter, I reckon, on purpose. Right on the gusset of his used pants on his bed. He's next to wear his headrests when he sleeps.
Describe the patterning on those. It's like brown streets. No, there are no brand. This is where I draw the line, Paul.
Bomb, bomb, gravy. The bomb, gravy's go all the way down the lulus. I get all the shit. We are week by week destroying the English language.
Well, at least we've got this new segment. We've got the actual definitions of words. There's going to be an episode that will completely be in sounds and claps. I want to do that.
I want to do that. I'm going to do that. I'm going to do a six-minute episode. I'll just go rock rock rock rock.
That's what they're banded. Oh, Karamba. That is true. That is true.
But it's also musical. And therefore, you can get away with it. If someone just, oh, you know what, I've never heard Cheep Gem before. Let's put the Cheep Gem.
It'd be a bit like, you know, what was that Lou Reed album, Metal Machine Music? Why? What's that about? Well, he, I honestly don't know.
So, he made an album called Metal Machine Music, which usually he's like a rocker. He's singing songs and some of them are good. It was like completely avant-garde experimental and it's considered maybe three tracks. What was this?
What year? I think late 70s. I get an idea of the lay land outscape. Late 70s, I believe.
And I believe there was some kind of animosity with him and his label that he did it because he had purpose. I think it's one of those. But I think he was serious about it as well. But the studio party has had these sort of hidden electronic avant-garde albums.
There's a George Harrison one that I've got in there. Oh, the fireman. And is it completely, it's like electronic music as far as I remember? Yeah, but does it have like rhythms and melodies?
Or is it all bleeped and all of these? I mean, I don't know if it's completely orky. Yeah, I don't know if it's that. It's probably just squawk, you know, that kind of...
Mm-hmm. Squeeki. And now we lose it like... No, don't say it.
It'll be a bit bothered word, Horridge. Squawk. Come on, here we go. I do want to get Sperf to the word Sperf.
No, Sperf. Sperf. It's that man, a drunk man said that to me once on the tube. It's dang.
I want to cover you in my sperf. I've just got up. Before you got off, he sends me. Sperf.
He fucking did. Well, I remember that. Why would he say Sperf? Exactly what I've been wondering ever since.
He distinctly articulated the word Sperf. Yes. All right, good. Sperf.
Yeah. What are we talking about? I don't know. I thought we were going to do a price of shite, which we received from the PO box.
Oh, a little bit spooky. I haven't seen the prices. I haven't seen the prices. That's fucking looking at the prices because you've ruined it.
It's a competition. It's a between off. It's a between off. It's a between off.
So we'll be playing a price of shite as a curated curated curated by one of our dear listeners. And if you'd like to send anything to the PO box, you can go to our website and the details at the end of the show to the address. Can I say that where they send the emails? At the end of the episode.
Yeah, I'll do it at the end of the episode. I like playing the game where it's like, I give you a slap on the arm if you get it wrong. You like it. I do.
I get a full on. What do you call it in your mind? Spanky times. I call it pre-spank McBank.
What's up? You can't have it anyway. It's my pre-spank before my main spank. It gets a little nick now.
Pre-spank McBank. Do you see him as a little Scottish stereotype? He's a little tiny Scotsman in a kiln. Like tiny like an inch tall.
Does he have a little straw like red beard? Yeah. And a hat. The hat they were.
What's he called? He forgot what he's called now. Spank McBank McBank. It's not that.
Shut up. I think that's his name now, though. You've forgotten what he said. What we said.
Let's get. Have you finished describing what's happening on the show? This is only out of this. We're doing a tiny little platter.
Platter. Oh, okay. Bit of shop talk. Bit of shop talk.
Right. So one quick thing. We aren't going to do a major thing for our fifth birthday, which is around June, July. But we are going to do a big show for our 200th episode around October, like last time.
Couldn't it be a combined fifth year? Yeah, probably. Yeah. And probably.
Yeah. And like a big thing. Now once you're in charge of all that. It'll be one big show.
So we'll try and find a big venue and it will be in London. So if you want to come, bear in mind, nothing's planned yet. It'll happen sometime in October and a reasonably decent size venue. That's that.
Okay. Next thing is we are going to do, again, with the help of Riannon, the cheap show, Listen to Choice Awards 2020. And as you know, last time it was a massive success. I think it went brilliantly.
I think we put on a massive. What are you doing over there? I'm just I know you're intergesting on some bobs. Yeah.
But it's like you're to bring light to it because I'm trying to talk and it looks like you're having a stroke in the corner. It's really distressing. I was genuinely thinking of stopping the recording then to help get help. Really?
Yeah, because you're holding your arm and you're twisting and then you're high with twisting away from the lights. They don't hear any grelch, man. Yeah, but it looks like you're looking at me. You'll put the grelch on with a fucking effect on it.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Anyway, next thing is the awards are happening again. So if you want to get involved, uh, Rihanna is sorting stuff out now, but you can follow it on Twitter. If you go to at project cheap, S K eight, like project cheap state, but it's at project cheap S K eight numeric eight and there'll be details about how you can vote and things and everything.
And it's been streamlined. Yeah. So hopefully it'll be another two and half hours show that I have to edit and go mad doing. Do you know, we're going to go back to the spot from pickle for it?
Oh, no, I've seen about getting a really big venue. You know, really big fancy one. I was thinking of like maybe the Spunk Odeum. Oh, mate.
Come on. That's the worst thing you've done in a while. The grandspunk. Wow.
Wow. You stayed with it and committed the old posh spunk house. Right. You want to carry on to saying things?
Well, what's your take on this affictional venue, which is partially than the Spof and Pickle? The Opu. Yeah, you've won that. You've won everything today so far.
Great day for me. Great day for me. I wonder how, what the swings are going to be. No, the swings are the real measure before we go for that.
I do just want to say again, I resent the fact you made me reach down for the lighting. I'll handle your grumbles. Yeah. What?
You haven't described it like leopard prints or something. I'll have a print. The very idea of you just. I do not want you to put that out there.
Not all my underwear is leopard print. No, just the ones you've been salted. No, there's nothing left with your wank pants. No, I do not have special wank pants, you should.
Why? As if what? I have to fucking dress for myself to masturbate. No, I'm just saying if you aren't special occasions when you want to go posh, you put your special pants off.
I don't have to subscribe to any of those myths about the Muff, so that is the soft property rubs. Yeah, the smooth property rubs. No, what posh wank you do in the silky? The silky.
That's why is that? Why is that sexy? No, I do in the John Hoe. That's what posh wank is known as?
Well, I have been doing it like that. When I do it. I do it into a trifle. I put it balls deep in the trifle and I empty myself into it.
How can you get your whole thing into a trifle? What's the trifle on a table or something? How do you get that? How do you get that?
It's all. I've had thoughts about the problem with access to the trifle. It's not about working the problems out. It's about building up a solid structure around me that allows me to easily.
It's not to be good. End my erection now. I'm trying to put it in a bowl. Yeah, right.
Cut a little hole in one side of the bowl and enter from the side. No, but the problem is you miss out the best bit, which is penetrating the top. I'm glad you enjoyed that. I mean, you're winning today.
The trifle is quite delicious. You know what? I mean, after this, I end up looking like a angry clanger. Well, hello.
Welcome to Cheapshow. This is the calm, relaxed, we've done that already. We're just back from the break. We're back from the sound effect.
Welcome back to Cheapshow, from the sound effect. And you're joining Eli and I today's we go through the mailbag and we have done it while we know Scrumming. We've got a few Scrumming. So the next few episodes, I think we'll be a little Scrumming.
Straight in the mailbag. Pulling out some, you know, sizeable emails. Have a little Scruffle wearing the mailbag. Have a little Scruffle in the mailbag.
Just take that as a cue to fucking start singing. Please. Rachel, your eyes just there. It was a real emotion that.
Grandals. Grandals. I handled your grandals. I had to wipe that light down in case.
Come on. Come on. It's gonna have some residue of it on. Listen, this whole room's about least sort of 10 molecules deep in it.
God, I don't like the idea that this room is nothing but a thin layer of your greasy, dirty DNA. I bet you're doing those. Oh, that's the thing, Paul. Pause cards.
These are the wardingsons. I've had my eyes on these for a while. We've talked about my disappointment because that platinum deck I bought, the shiny silvery ones, a defective pack of cards, just clubs and spades. Very strange.
No diamonds or hearts. I've never, you know, you get very cheap cards, like £1.50. We have double doors for you. The wardingsons is a trusted brand.
But that means that somewhere out there you like. Yeah, you'll see all that one of these. Somewhere out there, there's a person, right, with just the hearts and diamonds. It must be.
Imagine if you two met and it was like, I got married. Yeah, you don't know. Maybe that's the beautiful story here. They buy a pack, you buy a pack.
They put up a post- She is, she. Could be a he. Doesn't matter. Put it up on Instagram.
Oh, can't believe me. Look, someone copies you in. You say, oh, can't believe my look. You live around there.
All right. Well, let's go for a drink. You get your cards out at the pub and you have a little drink and you buy the first round and he buys a second and you go, I've got time for another one. So you buy a third because you want to be filled left out, he buys a fourth.
No, you're drunk and you're playing with your cards and your hands touch and you go, Oh, and you're looking to each other's eyes and for a minute you go to Google and you to embarrassing and then you say, I'd live around the corner and she says, no, just no. This is not what it's about. No. If you wanted to share my cards.
Well, that would be on the camera. She walks out. She walks out. No, she walks out and get to move her home and she's safe.
Right? And she depends. No. You can pass right there.
Something out. And the pub table. Pull and you can hear it bubbling under the fucking fabric of your pants. Now the warm bubbly scrubs are hard to turn it.
Come in and out of your body. I don't ship myself. Don't do that. When you're sad, you do.
I don't ship myself when I'm sad. Adult. I don't have. I just want them to know that I don't actually, I'm not a poo poo person.
I'm not, you know what I mean? It's not something I have any kind of issue with. Just every time he's gone poo. That's not true.
It is true. That story would be so lame and I'm funny. I was doing nothing before. I'll paint a good picture.
A moment. I was talking about my card split. You've got pink cards. Is that it?
Yeah. Is it just the back of the thing? No. Ah, now you've got the testing bit.
All right. You've got me cards. Wardington's classically coming to main varieties. Perhaps you don't care to name one of the time.
Red and blue. Okay. Standard. It's extremely standard.
Yeah. With that pattern. You'd recognise it. You saw it.
It's a very standard pattern. These have a different pattern on the back, which is just a pink checkerboard. But every single card is pink. So it doesn't matter the suit or the tool pink.
Yeah. Doesn't that make it hard? It would make it hard. But also, I mean, if you think about it, clubs and spades are already both black and same as the hearts and diamonds.
But if like, if like snap, for example, a very simple game like snaps will probably be a bit of a shamed scheme. But I like the way that the Joker is also pink. Yeah. Things pink make.
Why do they do these variations then? No, no. Who wants, who goes? We've got a card game.
We need the pink cards. Because people collect special edition cards and there's a whole, almost like stamps or something like that. There's a whole market for this. Just seems to be a weird thing.
It's a good special edition and limited edition. Packs of cards. Don't open it. But I also got that one.
That's a more typical example of the type of thing I'm talking about. It's just bicycle cards, bicycle, bourbon. So a special bourbon design. They went through bottle in Kentucky.
Yeah. So that's got, I bought that as a gift for someone. But there is an old, they've got a, I mean, it's on the back. There is an old Kentucky proverb that says, keep your friends close and your bawbin closer.
Now you can do both with the bawbin there from bicycle playing cards. It's not a real, what? Brand of bawbin. No, it's a brand of playing cards.
They make special editions like this and they also have tie-in ones like Harry Potter, obviously. Or they have all sorts of things. They can realize it's anything because they just get the artwork from it. So what, the cards are on the inside there?
Just what? Just normal cards? Linning Finnish, rather than plastic. Linning Finnish.
I love his albums. And I imagine these will have a poker layout where it's bigger. Have you seen the way they... Mate, I know we agree about no characters this week as well as we can.
No, no one's coming, Paul. Don't... Linning Finnish is a great name. I just want to bank it.
Just hang there. Just hang there. Just hang there. Don't do him now.
Or the Linning Finnish. Maybe a 70s rock star. Yeah. Oh, Linning Finnish.
Just write it down. You can write your own... I'm writing Linning Finnish now. Just put it in your fucking Ghostbusters book.
And then I thought of the character Linning Finnish. I love the work. I love it. It's got a ring to it.
All right, we'll workshop this next week. Okay. I also like the name for a character, middling holding. Middling holding, I'm making it into that.
So to you, does that sound middling holding? You see what they're actually the meaning? Yes, they're... It sounds like a kind of...
I can't... Do you know what those two words that phrase means? Middling holding. What would you say that means?
I don't know. Like a small amount of money. Yeah, exactly. So I was just wondering if that...
Because it's quite specifically sort of pogotoneology. Oh, is it? I was wondering if you see the double meaning in that. Oh, yes, I do.
Well, we've got a couple of names there, Paul. This is all very sober. Mm. Anyway, those are cards.
This and you segment. No, E-like cards. I'm bored myself. Yeah.
You even fucking... Should I read the letter out there then? It's not what we're doing now. Yeah, that is what we're doing.
We're going to do a segment called... We haven't done it a while. Tales from the shop floor. This is where you, the listener.
The listener. Right down. Things that's happened to you. In shops.
Someone's bleeding. Someone comes in and shouts something from it. It's alcoholic. It's dead.
Someone dies. Dead. They're dead, people. Uh, it's mostly shouldn't sparkle.
I like them when they're dead and they're lying in shit. Okay, well, that's a sentence that I hope gets turned into a fucking t-shirt. E-like. With your big face saying that.
I like them when they're dead and flying in shit. Great. What a lovely... You fucking egg me onto this.
I didn't... Yes, you did. I did not. You fucking did.
How dare... You're not giving me anything. I'm going to start saying... Stuff.
Warning. I'm warning you. Just warning you. I'm warning you.
No. E-like. You're not on top form today, are you? No.
Let's just be honest. Let's be clear right now. No, I'm floundering. Yeah, you are.
So, do you want to just... Shut up. Do you want to take a moment? Don't take a moment.
Here we go. Here we go. He's broken again. Giggling like a twat.
What's going on? Is this a podcast anymore? Is it just... It's like the madness of King George.
You. You're doing it to me. Am I? It's not doing it to me.
Just give me the net. Let's do some kind of structure. Do you? I do.
I do. Yes. Yeah? I need to try not just you.
The madness of King Silverman. Oh, that fucking bench. Sit in there. That bench.
I know I'm back to the weird goblin. The way I sit on his chair every fucking week. We've got it out of the house of Pickles, man. I don't know.
Have we really, too? I mean, my gym jams. It's a whole thing with it. I never thought we started podcasting.
I'd have to do it surrounded by your dirty leopard-skid pants. It's got flavour. It's got flavour to it. It's got a tang.
I'll give it that. Very sharp tang. Paul. Yeah.
Tell us on the shop tour. Yeah. So, this is a story that's been sent in by. And then I'll throw it out.
All right. Well, I can do that. His name is Johnny Toofeed. Isn't it now?
Yes. Can we just refer to him as Johnny? Yes. Well, see how much I like him.
Or Toofeed. Or Toofeed. Half right through the letter. Right.
Toofeed. When I ascertain his level of prose style. What? I'm going to judge it.
I'm going to judge a story for narrative and style. Oh, my call him Toofeed. I like that. Oh, fuck that.
That sounds like... Hey, do it. Do you know what it sounds like? What?
A fucking Shane Richie movie. All right, Toofeed. We called him Toofeed. No characters!
Write it down. No, but this is a real person who's written us a letter. Yeah, but I just say it's Johnny Toofeed. Oh, no, he's called Johnny Toofeed.
Yeah. All right. You ready to say hello? Yes.
Okay, you ready? Hello. Wait till he says hello. Who?
Johnny Toofeed. Is he here? Oh, Johnny Toofeed. No, he's not.
He's not a character. He's not a character. He's the author of this letter. Eli.
Oh, are we characters? Oh, we are ourselves characters. Disgusting bait. Fucking hell, mate.
You really are tiring me out. What if Eli? What if Eli? Right.
You had an accident like five years ago. And you've been a comer. And this podcast is your Jacob's ladder. Sometimes I wonder.
You know what? Eli Jacob Silverman's ladder. Oh, you know what? That makes me think of Paul.
Well, I saw someone use your own Frankenstein joke. Really? Totally used it. Well, we're on some TV thing or something.
Radio four thing. Just saying. Are you ready to say hello to Johnny Toofeed? No, he's not called that.
He is. He used to say his name was Johnny Toofeed. Well, let's see. It may be in the body of this letter.
He'll mention what he needs us to refer to him as. Probably not. Please don't call me Johnny Toofeed. Yeah, exactly.
That's what I'm saying. He might be a problem. All right. Might be a two feet problem.
Mm. You know who you can do with that? Well, a character I really want to do right now. Just tell me the right and I'm down.
But this is one from the last episode. Captain inch. All right. What was his name?
Captain. Captain inch. I'm making notes. So next week at the top of the show, we go, go crazy.
Go crazy. Oh, I was bent. Hi, Paul and Eli. Hello.
Hello. Hello. Hello. I used to edit low budget UK porn for online distribution.