Testing one, two, three, testing. Oh, hello, it's me again. And what? Oh, hello.
It's a bit reverby, don't it? It does get a bit reverby in the... When you're recording at the Soho Radio studios today, ladies and gentlemen, are abode, when we have a guest. It's our home away from home.
It's our home away from home. It's our caravan site. And it is a bit like being in a Tudor pub. It's a little bit like being in a weather spoons.
Yeah, it's really like it. It's actually closing in on me. The fak Tudor walls are closing in on me. What we need is a bike on the wall or an old fashioned lawnmower.
You know what I mean? It's just a window. It's a bit good, but we're underground. There's a subterranean window there.
We're in the crypt of Soho Radio. That's what we should call this. We should call it the crypt now. The Tudor crypt.
Yeah, no, that's good, actually. I've got a confession to make you like. You haven't been recording? No, I haven't.
That's good. We've been doing this stupid voice for three minutes. I do have a confession. And that confession is...
Can I guess? You fuck dogs? I've got two confessions to do today. No, we usually get the crypt to the Tudor crypt when we have a guest, because there's no way you can help.
No, yes, yes, because... Is this one kind of intervention? No, it's not. No, I fucking...
Oh, fuck you. No, because we didn't bring any human life into the House of Pickles, it was worth considering using the Tudor crypt as a place to have guests, because Soho Radio will be placed at the Portals, help us record here. Thank you very much. And today we did have a guest plan.
I won't mention who that guest was because we like to have them back in the future. It's no fault they're on their own, they can't come. But the Storm Celia, whatever it's called. What's the Storm called?
Storm Catherine. Kiara. Storm Kiara. Storm Kiara.
No, I'll be your Storm. You're saying there's no guest? I'm saying there is a guest, but it's not who I've bought. Oh, no.
It's going to be an interesting show. Not in a negative way, it's just that I asked this person, this person said, oh boy howdy I'd love to be there, and they're going to be here soon. Are they? Yeah, are they really?
Yeah, to play a collection of our usual fun games on. Cheap show, roll the fucking credits, or what a clip I go. I hate you, and you're fucking noodle hossey. I'm actually a show you're going to have to learn the fucking expect.
Cheap show. Up, round, round, round, round. Cheap show. Feel like still for them.
And a girl and a nuzzle. You'll be weird, I don't like it, this is really weird. What's really weird? I parked this podcast, yeah, Paul.
Yeah. And I think I should be privy to your fucking real mind-guysers. Don't you like games and surprises? I'd like to know.
As a fucking professional maverick podcast broadcast. You talk to a professional and maverick. It's like saying I'm a rule abiding anarchist. It's like saying that.
I'm a professional maverick. Get over it. You're not a professional. In a new group, less tosspot isn't it?
No, tosspot. You can be a professional. You're a pilot. Yeah, you're a wazook.
You're a wazook. Now they were talking. Look, the reason why I'm keeping it secret is because I think it'll be delightful, and I don't want to blow it. They're at Waterloo at this point.
They're racing their way. It's anachorise. She's found the clue. She's on her way.
We're doing the show then, are we? It's just feels very strange, and I'm probably not going to be very good. Although every week you're not very good. You get by people.
You find your box and crows on a matter of pay and nonsense. Quite alluring. Yes. No one knows they were both sobering.
We're being quite verbated. I know it's terrible. It's terrible. I'm a good mood.
I'm a good mood. I'm a good mood. For what reason are you in a good mood? I see with a monkey on a moon going fishing for a peach.
Thank you. Now Eli, are we talking about this in the poogas before? You're drinking piss out of bottles that look like green tea or tea. Well, this proves the opposite to be true, doesn't it?
I see. I think we can both agree. This is I see. That would be right up your alley.
It's such a cunt. Why? It's very sweet. This whole show's meant to be about.
Now we're not turning this into a show. It used to be no. It used to be about. We'd get something.
We'd share something with each other. We'd both taste it. We'd both taste it. That's creepy as fuck.
We'd both taste whatever the other guy brought. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. And that's what it was about. We needed both the opinions. The listenership needed both the opinions.
No. It's just me producing something delicious usually. No. No.
No. No. I'll drink it. I don't care.
I don't care. It was fine. Give it a then. I'll taste your piss.
It's a drink peach irolong tea drink. What's oolong? Oolong is a type of black tea, as opposed to green. Oh.
It's black tea. Oh, yeah. Yes. Like a regular tea.
No. No. No. No.
No. No. No. My long dick.
Go look. It's got to be thinking about that. Oolong dick. That's what she says.
I'm giving it. It's urolong. You could go with the character you like. I'm too long now.
That's no. That's why you crossed it. You've crossed it. You won't do a character called Oolong dick.
No, no, no, no, no. Anyway, let me sniff you too long. Right, oh, like it tastes the pink. You can smell the pink.
It's very sugary. You're like it. You know what's funny about peach? No peach has that full round it.
Right. It's funny because all of this stuff keeps going back to parasite, which I saw yesterday. And you highly recommend. There's a whole peach thing in it.
It's weird. Right. Anyway, so you know peach has that full and you taste the full and you bite into the flesh. It's weird.
That's a central plot point. Oh, it's a parasite. Yeah. Well, I'm thinking you can smell the fulls on this peach.
It's good flavour. It's just a bit sweet for me. Oh, ladies and gentlemen, what a lovely drink. We have our secret special guest.
And I'm excited. I don't like it. We have a cheap, each section Eli has brought in cheap eats and there is a new segment of the show called Paul's Pass Times, where I go to a board game and shop and I buy a board game. It's not like any garlic cat.
What we play in the game. How is that different? What did I play in the plus times? Paul, I'm happy to accept if it is truly another segment.
You're the segment colour. The segment that will not speak its name, which apparently you invented. Which apparently you invented? Anyway, this is called Paul's Pastions.
It's a very different game. No, I protest. You haven't. Now, what I just want is a quick rundown of where it differs from Ganon's Golden Games.
Well, firstly, it doesn't. Secondly, it won't. Fuck you! I've got no segment!
It's called Eli's Rare Ers! Rare Ers! Rare Ers! Rare Ers!
What you like? Right, it's about you looking for very obscure lineages within large royal families. Yeah? Eli's Rare Ers.
I guess. That just reminds me of a segment. No, it doesn't. It's exactly like Silverman's Platters, but it's just called Eli's Rare Ers.
All right, then, we'll have a segment called Eli's Rare Ers, and I'll do Paul's Pleasant Pastimes. Oh, he's Pleasant Pastimes. No, I'll be the judge of whether it's Pleasant or not. No, he isn't.
You've ruined it. You've sullied it. I haven't stolen it. I've just got tired of you going, go, go, go!
Oh, I can still say that. You've got Paul's pastimes. Paul's pastimes. I don't know what else you need.
Paul's. You know what? Honestly, you don't think I'm going to find a way of saying that in a annoying way. He's got a point-lazing gentleman, I mean.
Yeah, look forward to that, everybody. In that case, this is the segment with no name with Paul Ganon. No, we don't want the segment with no name. The damn speaking style name is the source report.
The source report is the whole name. Hey. Oh. I tried to say this five minutes ago.
You don't listen to me. What? I do? Go on.
Take the rain. You invented the source report. Apparently, due to someone on Twitter who said in episode 11 or 10, I mentioned a source and we reviewed it and I said this would be a good segment. And you were like, I need to go.
It won't work. It won't work. It won't work. It won't work.
Who's wearing it? Who's wearing it? I'm ruffing ruffing. I did that.
I know I remember it going. So Paul, Paul, who can it sit down and invent an election of the show that Eli's got credit for? Has Eli ever done anything on this show with credit? I think he doesn't do nothing.
I think Tinaetta, you mean come on. Mate, have you heard the rumor? What? Tinaetta's going on the mask, the trigger.
The trick is he'll just go on as himself, but people will think that's a mask. It's actually his real Yeti face. Beautiful Yeti face. You can't pretend to go on stage as a Yeti because that's doing Yeti face.
Can't do Yeti face. That's what it's said. He was accused of Yeti face. He was accused of Yeti face.
Well, he is now dead. His memory will live on in the annals of Chit Chit Chit Chit. Look, now we're talking shop. I had this thought, you know, that's the next little playlet we should do.
It should start off like a dog. We need to look at creative thinking on the whole camera. Yes, it's like cribs. But it's Mount Grop pants.
It's a tour of Mount Grop pants. But it starts off like that. Then there's an incident. Halfway through the filming.
It's like a disaster film on some way. Yes. Mount Grop pants. Yes.
Or beside the adventure. But it starts off the framing device. Mate, he's like cribs. It's like, oh, come to my house.
Don't you can't do the voice. I'm not doing a question of Yeti face. I'm not doing Yeti face. I'm just doing the voice.
I can try it. So what? There's an earthquake or something? We'll discuss that.
I can see that's the episode. I think I know you can get rid of it. Yeah, totally. We can kill them all.
We can kill them all. That's what all so would work on. That was the Mount Grop pants itself. Could be destroyed.
They can talk about a real restructuring of the House of Pickles geography. Rowland Emmerich style cheap show episode. And epic on a cheap budget. Where's this guess?
I'm really... I feel weird, man. Come on. I'm just waiting.
Are they coming? Less to square. Less to square. And I'm not wearing on the work.
I don't know what that means. Who do you think it is? They're at Less to square. That may be moments away.
I don't know. I'm excited. Anyway, go to... That's gonna be embarrassing.
I'm feeling embarrassed already. Right, well I just want to do some admin while you're having embarrassment. One, the awards are still now open if you want to follow the awards and get involved and nominate for things like Best, episode, Best, moment, Best, Eli, Rans, etcetera, etcetera. The awards are gonna be live, isn't it?
That's gonna be live on YouTube, in June, working that out. That should be a lot of fun. With some big name guests. I don't mean stars, I mean like Apollopogus, Apollopogus, it'll be there on the show.
No, he's a big name guest. And yeah, what's his name again? Angolopolis, Chappalopogus. Yes, that's very close.
It was just the point. It wasn't a real name. I know, we all know that. So, if you'd like to nominate, get involved on Twitter first of all.
It's gonna be linked on our website and this episode goes out to the cheap.co.uk, but if you want to nominate go to At Project Cheap SK8. What are you fucking laughing at? Is it because I remember saying, I remember that. You don't remember anything.
You drug Adelpisset. Fuck you! I bet recollection that you are. No, you're better.
You're better at wrecking your erection more like. How do I wreck it? You're better at wrecking your erection more like... Yeah, jacket.
You're fucking smashing it like a baked potato in an actually mad fan. I'll serve you some Jackfruit. No, you're saying things. Oh no.
That's like wanking. You have to eat my Jackfruit. Fuck off. The fruit of my Jack.
Oh, lady. The fruit is my Jackfruit. Oh, this lady came round the other day. She gobbled down my Jackfruit.
Yeah, I'm not doing it. I'm not calling it Jackfruit. This is what he's laid around. The problem is I do like that Jackfruit.
You like Jackfruit. No, I mean, the idea of splashing someone you love with your Jackfruit. I know, we all love that idea. I mean, yeah.
No, where else, where else, where else, where else. No, you're the awards. That's it. I'll try to work out.
I'm still trying to figure out of venue. I'm just going to be easier to set the donbook. You're going to be fan. It's going to be system.
Fan, fan, fan. But for now, all that's such a good mood. All that's such a good mood. It's not working for me.
It's you in a good mood thing. All the attention must go towards Rihanna's account for the Cheep Show Awards at Cheep Skate. Oh, is it Cheep Skate? Project Cheep that.
Project Cheep. At Project Cheep Skate. I'll edit it. Okay.
You'll say you might sound like a moron. Yeah. Let's just check what's going on. We've got to get the segments in.
We don't have enough time. We're going to compute this out at six. We're going to do it. This is all the pream.
We'll be adding it. Oh, shut up. You're whinging here, baby. You do.
Where's my fucking charge cable? Where are your charge cable, please? No. Please.
No. No. Eat my jackfruit. Yeah, you can.
All right. Well, let's e-light charge his phone. See you after the Santa Fe. It's Santa Fe.
Ladies and gentlemen, e-light, you're ready. What are you doing? E-light's playing with drugs boys and girls. Oh, he is.
Look, he's popped it all the way quickly. Oh, you stumped the place out. Naughty boy. It's when I was like, man, did you want to know?
Oh, shut up. We'd like to see our guest now. Yes. All right.
Ladies and gentlemen, you're not going to know who it is, but we do. Here, I'm going to get a guest now. Oh, we need to piss. Go for a piss.
Right, he's going for a piss. So, uh, it's a man boy. Yeah. It's a man child.
You know that as much. Right. So, actually the anti-climactic. It was you, tell me there.
Call yourself a Maverick vlogaster. Well, edit it out there. Snip, snip, snip, snip, snip, snip. Snip, snip, snip, snip.
No, yeah. I've got mad. I've snipped snip, snip, snip. I'm killing time the best I can.
I know, but it's terrible. It's terrible. It's terrible. It's terrible.
Exactly. You've got nothing inside you. There's nothing of interest in your energy. Do you have anything?
Yeah. Go on. Go on. I'm going to do it.
Stop doing that. It's hollow. It's hollow. Stop.
My mouth does not look like that when I speak. Well, I don't know what your mouth looks like. You're rotted, fetid, dirty beard. You're just looking at how?
You look like the worst muppet ever made. You look like a fucking truck driver. Great work. Mr.
Silverman. You've got to let it cook with me. Yeah. Oh, shut up.
It's the guest. Do you know this man? Take a seat behind the mic. Hey, man.
Now, everyone listening at home is going, who's this? They're going to have a look. Oh, Eli Silverman, meet our guest, Graeme Casey. One time.
One time. I do that. Sorry. Sorry.
I'm going to do that. I'm going to do that. Sorry. It took so long to get in my goodness.
We're underground, aren't we? We're underground. We're underground. We're underground.
It's just right now. Well, hopefully we can use the art students and fashion students outside of sandbagging. It's a whole flood thing in parasite as well. In parasite.
Yeah. The fact that Phil must have been filmed by Ulong. Really? Boom, boom.
I'm sorry. Anyway, ladies and gentlemen, just so you know, Graeme Casey is from our roots. He is from our concert doing Brace's acts. It's a bit southern.
He's a bit southern. He's a little bit southern. Graeme Casey and Eli were in Robes handbook at the sketch show. We did improv for years at the Brewhouse.
All of it gold standard. Some of it was actually very good. There's bits of it on YouTube still. Really?
What on YouTube? Robes handbook or? I think I have a list. Which generation?
The years when you weren't there to be me, Eli and John Lane. Yeah. So it's not our best. I think there's one where you had to do a song and in the end you just went po-po-po-po-po.
That was it. That was it. Really? That's the one.
You're starting with it. Sound comedy, we have Intermingle. There was wrote, that's on YouTube. You did the horror show we did.
Do the horror show we did. I know what I've got a recording of that one. Yeah, that's on YouTube. If an angle I put a camera up and stuff like that.
It's the other one where we spent ages working out that sort of call back gag. The time all of a sudden we got stuffed up on the one time we recorded it by Eli. I fucked it up. It's one of my favorite moments.
That is never great. Every other night it worked absolutely perfectly. One time I bloody recorded it. You're like, I'm not going to cry out of here.
What's going on? He was saying it awkwardly. And there was awkward laughter in the audience. No one was trying to think, oh, let's go then.
Oh, I'll just go then. Dude, dude, dude, dude, yeah. It's all on the episode on YouTube. I have your bottom art.
Well, whatever. At least I failed. You know what you do? It's fail.
You've made a career out of failing. Oh, oh, yeah. So we're all fizz-a-fiddle. I know.
I'm not smoking. Yes, I have now spent more of my life as a non-smoker than a smoker. And it's easy. Yeah, yeah, because I smoke from 16 to 38.
So that's 22 years. It's been over six years now since I quit. I had to be quick for six years to have more of my life as a non-smoker than a smoker. Oh, no, no, no, no.
Christ, there's a little wacky Brexit talk. There's a little Brexit logic. Is it? I don't know.
I'm trying to be current. I'm trying to be current. I'm trying to be current. I'm trying to be current.
I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm like, you know, I'll have to wait until I'm, I think it was 40-45, it was 45. It was 45 years before. It was 44. Yeah.
Actually, it was like that makes no sense. It was like, in my head, it's a big thing. So I went quite in. Greymont.
It's amazing. I think it's nice that you're waiting nearly five years, which is sweet, really, because obviously that means more. No, come on, mate. You know, you're doing it.
Eli had told me. It's exactly what I don't want that content. I'm stealing my limelight. That's the one you want to go.
Greymont. I wasn't. And then I felt like Greymont. I felt a little bit like that because we're talking about the old days, it was you and I who started off together.
Yes. And then you brought in Eli. And that, that's what we got. That's what we got.
Because I brought in Eli because up until then, I'd been the funny one. And then he was with all that. Exactly. And then high-five grey.
And then everybody got worse. Because then you brought in Adam, which was annoying because up until then, I'd also been the good-looking one. He's like a god-man. I didn't realize.
Demented you both. How do you see yourself? It's so wrong. He can't both be the ugly one.
He'll shut up. Right. So, place some games. We are, but I wanted you to read out.
And it's all right. Take off present. Oh, yeah. Yeah.
It's just, can I get it? Yeah. Right. Because I let you get that while you're doing that.
I'm sorry. Because what I have here is something, obviously, you're the nooking. I certainly am the nooking fan. In props where they're chills.
I've got to give it to you. I remember it's been in my drawer ever since. They're apparently quite spicy. I don't know if it's a make-you-know.
Why, why, noodles? Yeah. No. Are they going to be any good, though, after all this time?
That's why there's one of the things about instant noodles. They keep forever. Yeah. I think it's like it's a best before, but you can eat them whenever.
Yeah. Oh. That type of food stuff. It's a dry thing.
It's a totally dry experience. It's a why, why express noodles and salad and light. How express? My dad said it's quite hot.
My dad likes curry. So, I think it's a two-packer. So, I'm just swimming in there. There's a sprinkly thing in there.
That's good, isn't it? There's times. There's times when I was going to that and eating it. And I didn't.
I thought, no, it's really like... So, I got you a little present as well. We got you one. Ooh.
What is it? It's one of those knock-off game blowers. Oh, sweet! You're like 500 crappy NES games off.
Oh, cool, man. So, you've got Mario 1 and 2 and 3 and 18 and Mario 76. Oh, sweet. You know what?
I've got a mini version of one of these that the boys use. Oh, yeah. And I've also got an old Nintendo Game Boy. It's like the micro.
Yeah. Yeah. No, it's slightly thicker one. Oh, yeah, that's great.
Yeah, and I've got one of those. And that's also got like a multi-cargeting. It's got full of games in it. Yeah.
The boys play that. Now they got a Switch. Yeah, sweet. Yeah.
Sweet. Oh, yeah. That's fantastic. That's got a few interesting games that, like, goon-eases on there.
And they're talking about the future, and Chippen Dales on there. Oh, Champen. But also it's got a bunch of like Russian puppy. You know, that kind of thing where it's like, it's called Roffee Roffee.
And it's like a little dog-pushing. Roffee Roffee really? You know what? Look at you.
It's quite long, but I do think you'll love this. This is what we'll call one of our This tells me shop floor one of our atypical tales on the shop floor. Where you have a table on the shop Oh, me. Let's say.
Oh, right. Excellent. All right. Excellent.
Let's do this one first. Oh, I go on now last time Okay, yeah, it's nice for them people when they write in to say hello to us He gets so upset when they say I bought and don't mention it Hello last time and there was no hello. They like that. That's set him off on the wrong foot with me Yeah, the ultra critical of his proud style.
This one's already off to a better start right great I'm back Eric Eric Schneider. Yeah. Hi guys, so you are including that sweet. That's it.
Hello Eric. I have an odd tells from the shop floor for you You're gonna be that's because we could be here a while. Can you shut up and read it the way I fucking read it? You know what and I'll vary the fucking speed.
I'll vary the speed Paul. Yeah, yeah, I don't give a fuck mate I will vary the speed just come say just get on one day I used to work for a very large bookstore chain here in the US the one that has in store Starbucks cafes Do we know which one that could be about all greens or all greens? I think yeah, I think all greens I don't know they're not good all greens well books books It's definitely a chain that has Starbucks in yeah now I live in a town in Florida that is a big spot for rich retirees to sell so a lot of our traffic was old people who would land Around the store reading books they were never going to buy while swimming down cup after cup of bad coffee I don't know if you've ever done the math but in continent old people plus caffeine equals frequent uncontained body boom booms I like Boom booms get the coffee as the calf was all the way at the front of the store while the restrooms were all the way at the back Oh, people's legs don't move nearly as fast as they codons do So code browns were a pretty regular occurrence. So if you're sick there that bookstore I know the title here.
We've got a co-brown coming down. That means an old person shut their case. Yes We got a really cold it coldid floor I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I actually have a coffee. Do you have a coffee? Yeah, it's better.
I swam here. Yeah. Oh god. It's like fucking So well, that's it's good that the stories about old people there is a Cough Move nearly as fast as recap.
Yeah as they codons do on 16 ounces of cafe Americano. So code browns were pretty regular Oh Jesus Then cough and then recap so regular in fact where these code browns that we had an actual rotation for cleanup GC I lived in dread of having my name come up in regard to cleaning up one of these rectal holocausts nice Fortunately, I through some miracle only ever have to deal with one of these situations, but it was a weird one Oh, here we go You set it up when the inevitable tonight has got a bit of she's got shops, don't it? Yeah, boom boom. What was it boom boom?
I'm pretty boom boom. That's got a real ring to it. You know what's difficult. It's getting passed to pop up.
Yeah I know it's a bit too. That's fine. I'm a professional man. You are your professional maverick broadcast.
I like so is a professional man So we all know what's gonna happen now in this story. Yeah, we've set us up with a little we're looking forward to scat times This is his one time that he had to deal with it Right when the inevitable call from my manager came that there was a situation in the men's room most stomach immediately twisted into knots Didn't specify what the situation was before she hung up on me. So my imagination is left to run wild I Okay, I may my way to all the restrooms like a man on his way to the gas chamber god Shiders good pro style, but I mean that's that's too many allusions to a horrible moment in history in history. Okay gas chamber With this moment as these anal mishaps usually ended up on the floor I kept my eyes downward and squinted halfway shut as if that would keep me from seeing the full horror I've all awaited me the carpet on the way to the restrooms was clear likewise the tile in the hallway leading to the restrooms I stopped at the men's room door took a deep breath and push my way in I scanned the floor by the sinks for a mess or nothing No, I moved further into water your Ronald's maybe I would just have to mop some piss Oh, maybe things crossed no still no sign of the situation my manager had mentioned I saw an open the door to the first door like a horror film the second store the same It's left the palatially spacious handicap store that took up the entire back end of the restaurant But all the biggest crimes happen To move it's always the people who shouldn't be using a disabled toilet who leave the most disaster afterwards I don't know what you're theorizing here.
You're talking about personal experience. Yeah You go to some people some people know they're gonna have a bad time and they can see a disabled toilet They'll have a guy in there because it's big and no one else will come in and there's privacy and they can wreck the joints It really constipated the handrails Terrible this is just terrible you you're just your patter Door With the literary illusions No, it is the hand cap yeah the palatially spacious handicap store This was it the only place left where the mess could be lurking push the stool door inward my stomach rolling I forced myself to look at the tile before me, but still there was nothing was I being pranked by my manager? Where was the brown star burst of diarrhea? Steaming kind of shame there was no sign of feces anywhere on the floor or walls or even the ceiling that's when the smell hit me Oh, there was definitely shit in the nearby I finally turned my attention to the toilet which I've been ignoring so I was certain the mess would be anywhere But where she actually belongs true what I saw disorientated me for a moment as it took my brain a few seconds to process what I was seeing What's coming on?
Sticking out the bowl was a suction cup on a stick Like a Dalek was trying to climb out of the soup through the handicap toilet as my brain cleared the fog of terror of an impending Vaguely encounter fecal encounter. I realized I was looking at the inverted toilet plunger sticking straight up out of the toilet bowl I stepped closer to saw something like to this day cannot explain there Cressing the water in the toilet bowl was what had to be at least a 15 pound pile of shit With the handle of the plunger sticking out of it like a scallopant Unflushable rhino size pile of food in the toilet and then desperately tried to ram it down the hole using the only thing to hand The plunger handle numbed by the bizarre image an animal stink before me I pulled the plunger out of the mound and shut it into the nearby garbage can and began painstaking process of flushing the toilet again and again I'm making sure that it didn't overflow stepping away occasionally to get along full of untainted air It's your bit by bit the island of miss begotten fecal material disappeared down the drain my mind still cannot fathom A Mount of turdish could have ended up there surely an unpast movement of that size would have hospitalized Surely they had a more appropriate place to be in a bookstore when it eventually dislodged itself Maybe it was an elaborate joke But who could carry around a 15 pound bag of shit in a crowded bookstore and go unnoticed and why dump it in a toilet? Said on the floor somewhere else where it would make more of a statement be more difficult to get rid of I'll never know maybe you guys are out between Paul Gagging and Eli's saying I made the whole story up Thank you Well told I think it was a very very very very portly gentleman who used to say that's what I would have said and he dropped two weeks worth of Domino's pizza those super super obese people you know presumably floated out. Yeah, he came out of thin Wow just look for the person with extremely baggy clothes All the guy walking like a scon slinger Yes I'm actually hold on to the story for years because this is a tough shop floor, but it's from when I was working on the ducks Those who don't know the ducks in London they were basically World War II amphibious landing craft they used to drive around London and they go down in the tent to do a club down the tent back on dryland and back into Westminster again, Waterloo rather and I did that for donkey's years.
They did for about 13 years But what was that I used to do something called the lily pad don't know why because originally it was called the frog tours Right and so the start off point was the lily pad A few years and then they changed every duck tours, but they never ever got it never called it where we had a place called me next Actually, but they never changed it's always the lily pad so I used to work on the lily pads That's where the doc started That's where the endage to sign people on sign them off all that jazz makes all the right passengers on and we got down there one more This is a basically down by the London I right behind us was the shell building So this was the old ones and there's all building work around there now It's all gone that area and I was stood there one morning and all the passengers there set up my little trolley Everything like that turned around a little low wall behind me like little planted potty area and what was unmistakably a human turn Just sitting there how'd you know No, it was way too big. Honestly unless you had like the world's largest Doberman. Yeah, great. They just This this is no this was human Yeah, I know my turn It was huge it was ridiculous.
I was just lying there and the problem we had was that this is the only place where we could go from these vehicles Big you can't park them anywhere else you like you get in the way of everything and we're looking at it Of course everyone then looks at the guy's a human We thought who the hell to be phoned about this we thought let's find a land with council So if I'm a council I'm a council come out and go no, no, no, no, no, you'll find that's on that's on the shell ground That land belongs to shell that's Shells to tell property they'll have to get rid of that and then we find up shell and said you got to turn on your property Oh, you'll need phone This one on for ages we didn't know what to do so we did the only thing we could do we covered it with the bucket No, we thought it's great because people Magic It's a warm day It was awful We phoned up further council again, they said no we phoned up and eventually I think shell relented and they sent one of the local Cleaner guys like this and this poor son he came around this little trot he had one of these grabbers So we took the bucket off like that anyway, okay, I did this and he got the grabber in basically cutty The worst part was he looked in the way for Again It was at that point after going to the second time to end oh, oh no He said no, he had no idea what it was the first two times it wasn't really cut it's a hot noise It was I have fucking no idea massive mouse bar. He was a little bit of wood. So we're just gone like that Well, I know but the thing was he where is he from? But what was he from the council?
I think it's from further a few of them the guy knows from the shell building But he was from shell, but I have no idea where it was from originally some kind of janitor fellow from shell Yeah, I just I zoned out when I got that bit the story so it's just a but yeah anyway So it was like cutting in half bit which was the second time it was exciting it was funny But then he was like oh, no, why do I do? He said it was just the grabber thing Yeah, we're getting a lot of laughing and the end of it in the end. Did he do to it? I think we just kind of battered it with water.
He's a pallet squeegee pallet thing. Yeah, what are you doing? Sweegee McPhee I think we just back it with water in the end just got rid of it that way Just all right, don't don't it would have been a bit of space make it make it a spoon from the kitchen along the grave Great flower. Yeah, try it out.
No, I'll try it off dry out. It off squeegee squeegee Anyway, yes, I know it was it was very funny at the time, but yes quite disgusting Is it it's terrible? It seems to crop up a lot with your tails from the shop Try not to but we haven't won in a while. I thought this was worth There's double shit you got double and I'm also add to the shit story because I don't know before we got started around the corner Around the back, you know, we're a human shit.