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EPISODE · Jan 25, 2017 · 1H 15M

Ep. 167: Bill Burr

from The Bill Simmons Podcast · host The Ringer

HBO and The Ringer's Bill Simmons is joined by comedian and fellow Bostonian Bill Burr to discuss the joys of parenthood (6:00), Wayne Gretzky's interview style (11:00), the "Big Bad Bruins" (15:00), NBA rivalries (20:00), the Mount Rushmore of TV actors (25:00), Lakers fans claiming Minneapolis titles (33:00), the Belichick-Brady era (37:00), Michael Jackson's impact on the Pats' ownership (45:00), PED usage in sports (49:00), Super Bowl LI (54:00), and Derek Jeter's majesty (1:02:00). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Ep. 167: Bill Burr

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Today's episode of the Bill Simmons podcast is brought to you by our presenting sponsors, Seakeake. It's almost Super Bowl time buying tickets can be extra complicated, a huge investment sometimes. That's why our friends at Seakeake are here to help. Seakeake is coming to help you find the best seats of the best prices fully guaranteed with their revolutionary grading system, a team of ticket concierge experts that are a phone call away with free advice.

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Step it up for God's sakes. We're also brought to you by Rose Battle 2. The people have spoken. It is back.

The Fortnite event features top comedians getting verbally violent until just one is left standing. Features a star studded lineup of judges, including Snoop Dogg, Sarah Silverman, Jason Sudeikis, and the Rosemaster Jeffrey Ross. It's about you don't want to miss. The Fortnite event begins January 26 at 10, 9 Central on Common Central.

Don't miss the live finale on Sunday, January 29 at 10, 9 Central. See who gets crowned the king or queen of cruelty. We're also brought to you by the ringer.com. That's why I wrote not one, but two columns last week.

Hopefully we'll have another one on Friday this week. Check out our Channel 33 podcast for the emotional reunion of old Grant Landers, Dave Jacoby, and Juliette Lippin on Juliette's Bachelor Party show. Resubscribe to the Shackhouse podcast with Johaus and Jeff Shackworth because it's back and so is Tiger Woods. A quick story on Jacoby, he came by the office, surprised.

Me I forgot he was doing it in the office and we end up playing Golden Tea. One round. He's been playing way more than I have. I haven't been playing a lot lately.

We tied after 18 holes on the Desert Island course. We decided to do a two hole playoff or as many holes until somebody won in hole 20. I choked. I flat out choked.

I was there and he birdied and I parred. And Dave Jacoby is now your Golden Tea Champion until I can take the title back. Listen, I'm very sorry for all my fans out there. I'm very, very sorry.

I let everyone down. I just lost my focus. And now that title is in LA live and it's not going away. I'm going to do better.

I promise you, I'm going to get that title back. Bill Barr coming up. Let's go. Well, in the office, Slash Studio, you dad.

That's right. Welcome to the Dad Club. It's such a great club. It is.

It's a club of no sleep. It's been awesome. It's been awesome. It's been awesome.

Everything and then eventually you become important. Have you ever felt so useless? I just say on a loop, can I get you anything? What do you need?

I have like a cooler downstairs where the bedroom is and I got to filled up with all drinks, snacks, all of that stuff. I've been cooking up a storm, fortunately. A lot of my friends. My buddy Andrew helps with my podcast.

He made up big pot of meatballs and stuff, which have been so killer. Everybody wants to buy your clothes and toys. It's just food is the one. So it's just like I just throw those in a pot, heat them up, throw a little Parmesan on them and it's just it's yeah, when you're trying to go in between napping and freaking out baby crying type of stuff.

That's great stuff to have. It's gonna be like a third string quarterback. You're holding the clipboard. They're in the game.

Really not coming from the side of the list. But it's not game time. It's more like practice where it's just like you're getting a couple of reps when you hold a kid. Like you're actually getting in the game on Sunday.

You know you're not. And you know, maybe getting, say you want another towel, you want a water bottle. That's a lot of that. Can I do Tommy anything?

Yeah. Yeah. So I have a, how new found like respect and love for my wife. It's amazing.

Just five days of it. Chas birth alone is respect for life. And then everything after. I'm saying, no people could talk trash to a woman as far as like pain is like maybe those UFC guys, but only the ones who don't tap out when they're like getting their elbow dissing like the gracies.

They'll be like, oh, you went through birth. OK. Even they'd have to be like, OK, well, that's something. It was yeah, it was something else.

It was something else, man. Yeah. I was joking that I now understand why I lose so many arguments to my wife. I didn't realize she was that level of tough.

So it's great. They are the toughest. And it's funny. I'm an only child.

So from an ego standpoint, the first 10 weeks of just being useless, you know, it's like, wow, I really thought it'd be more important. And then as soon as the baby can see, that's the other thing. They're blind for like two months, basically. They can always see like colors and stuff.

And then when they see you and they're like, hey, it's that guy. Hey, I like that guy. And then you're just your heart melts. And then from that woman on, they have you more.

Yeah. That technique by telling you that first time they look at you and they're like, hey, that guy's all right with me. That guy's the guy who gets me stuff. I like his smell.

It's great. I'm excited to see how it trickles into your comedy. It's definitely. It's definitely what I'm not going to be the dad comic going.

So I'm burping on a baby. Right. And of course, when I mean, put the burping thing, you know what's going down your shirt? I mean, everybody's done all of those.

And unfortunately, I waited long enough to have a kid to realize how annoying, how truly annoying parents are. Yeah. And just they're all knowing. And everything is so damn important.

And then like, what's so funny about it? It's the most amazing experience you can have. But pretty much everybody has it. So what you're talking about is unbelievable.

It's the most amazing thing, yet the most one of the most common things that people get to experience, if you're lucky enough. And they sit there talking like that Neil deGrasse Tyson guy. It's just like dude, everybody's got all these theories and stuff. And I really learned that just people are crazy.

Who I really like to tell that me and my wife are having a kid where people who didn't have kids. Because they would just say, oh, really? Oh, man, I'm so happy for you. That's great.

And they leave it at that. Parents will say, OK, you're having a kid. I'll tell you right now. This is what you need.

And blah, blah, blah. It's just super imposing their experience onto you. And I find myself. Did you have people in your life pushing you to have kids?

Because I was always suspect of those people. Because being a parent isn't easy. Right. So I always felt like they had ulterior motives.

Because they wanted more people to be a little bit more like they are. There's a certain percentage of parents that as much as they love their kids resent them. And I would get this vibe from people where it was just like, oh, yeah, hey, no more this, no more that, no more blah blah. And I was just kind of like, that's what you got out of being a parent was the fact you couldn't do blow anymore in a random Thursday.

I mean, it's kind of good to take that away now. How long have you been with your wife? Geez, oh, wow. We've been well over 10 years.

Yeah, because that part is a little weird to get used to where you have this anchor now. Yeah. So it's me personally love it, though. Oh, I actually like it too.

Because I like being home. So it was like an excuse for me to be home. I think most people think I actually really enjoy changing diapers, especially because it makes me feel like I'm doing something. And then it's the best once you get it.

How about swaddling? You got in the swaddling? Swaddling? I got in 90%.

I'm almost ready for the regular season. We brought her home. It was like a 60. I just mean it was I was afraid of the baby.

So I didn't want to go too tight or anything. And then they just squirming all around. And then the whole thing comes apart. Then it's coming up, up around their face.

And you're worried they're not going to be able to breathe. That first night when you got them in the bassinet there, I mean, it's like every three seconds just waking up, making sure they're still breathing. It's really like, like I actually had her on my stomach, my chest on my waist, my waist on. That's actually not safe.

But I was only half asleep in like every 10 breaths. I would stop breathing to see if I could feel her chest moving in and out. When can we expect the stage photo of you pretending to be asleep with the baby on your chest that I see on Facebook all the time from some of my friends? You know who you are, who do those?

Yeah, yeah. I was knowing somebody's fake asleep with their baby on their chest. Yeah, no, no. I'm not.

I don't get people who post pictures of their babies. I mean, on Facebook or their children. I don't get people who like on the back, I did a joke about this on the back of their car. They have the stick figures, dad, mom, three, kids, and a pet.

And it's like literally serial killer behind you knows like everything that's on the menu. You know what I mean? It's just like why would you put that level of information out there? Like I don't do any of that type of stuff.

And I think especially now I think it's really hard for like the level of innocence that I had until like 11 or 12 was insane compared to nowadays. Like as far as like the level of cursing, well I mean her like cursing in my house. But I'm just saying like as far as like just inundated with the stuff that they can see, they're like these kids nowadays by the time they're like nine, it's like they worked on the vice one for like 20 years. They're like grizzled vets.

So I'm hoping as much as I can to try to, you know, to try to like just I don't know. I'm trying to bring back some old stuff. Like I want to play catch with my kid. I want to do stuff like that and be outside.

Yeah. Yeah. Catch is the greatest. Catch is the novel concept.

Catch is the greatest. Anyone play catcher? They're kidding. No, catch.

You know what's great about catches? It's a subtle way to talk to your kid. I think you can find out what's going on in their life. You can just say, you know, because you're doing another activity.

It's like hitting on a chicken at the gym versus doing it at like a meat market. Like they're in like a dance club. They got their guard up. They're going to get you a drink like they got that.

But you know, you're doing a common activity. You know what I mean? That's what Club Soccer has turned into for me with my daughter who's now 11 and 1 half. When we drive to a tournament, I have her trapped.

And I take her phone. And she's in the car next to me for over an hour. And I just fire questions. And I try to find out what's going on in the sixth grade.

Who likes to do these girls still getting along. And they eventually break. They start doing it because they get that. It's like your first 48 with your kid, like trying to get him to confess.

So I got a lot of work to do on myself. I really got to make sure that I don't want to be the flipping out like the level that I had, lack of control of my emotions. I don't want to do that. I will definitely save that for my stand up act and that type of thing.

But like I said, I'm old enough now to know what an idiot I am. And I'm also live long enough that I've seen comedians that do what I do. And then when somebody has a kid, they decide that, oh, now I'm going to work totally clean. And I'm going to start wearing sweaters.

And I'm going to literally completely get away from. You never did that. No, I quit. No, you can't.

I quit. You can't. I am wearing a sweater now. You are who you are.

Maybe it's happening. Yeah, I am. Here's the only advice I'll give you. What's up?

Not that you asked about the menu. It's not you or Jerk with advice. Before you even turn on the mic, you would have been like, this is rated day care stuff. Now, there's a stage with macaroni and cheese and chicken fingers.

And I forget how old it is. It's after they get some teeth. And they never finish it. And this is when the dads put on eight to 10 pounds.

Because as a male, you see mac and cheese. And you know that. Really? And you start.

And it just adds up. So just be careful. Because you're on television and stuff. I don't like it.

I also be like, I gained eight pounds. I don't know what happened. It's like, all that mac and cheese. They're just pulling left and right.

You don't even realize you're me. Nah, I had a buddy mind to that. He would make himself a couple of legs and had two, three kids and make them eggs. And then finish the eggs that they didn't have.

But also our age group, you were raised not to like, wait. My mother was always like, it was like classic Carlin bit. Do you want this before I throw it out? Like I mean, when first I heard Carlin did some sort of bit like that, I called my mother into the room.

So you kind of see, I think we had a VCR at that point. So I was able to rewind it. I came so long ago. And she laughed.

But that was so funny. You want to eat this before I throw it out. It's literally going bad. And it's got like another six hours worth.

So if you end up old and your mother would just be handed into you. We used to hide food and stuff. Hide it behind the stereo and pretend like you ate it. Because my mother was just such a stickler for finishing it all.

The last time I saw you, we were with the great one, Raine Gretzky. And we did an interview. And I think he does a lot of that stuff. And he was kind of on legendary hockey parado pilot a little bit in the beginning.

And then you went in and you were funny. And you could just see him like, oh, OK. This is going to be. And then he just like the hockey player wearing Gretzky personality came out.

They were both for dying for it. It was great. I had so much fun. I love when he said I like the fights too.

I just didn't want to be in it. That was cool. And he kind of went into that because he has to be like the like he has a real responsibility to sell the game. So we said, well, you know, there's some southern teams of blah, blah, blah.

I just interrupted. I went like, there's nothing wrong with the game. And he looked at me and he goes, there's nothing wrong with it. No, there isn't.

The game's the game. It's like the wire. It's like the interchange. They're messing with it like this year.

I was talking on this podcast, Puckoff. Joe Barnack has his podcast. Yeah, it's great. No, no, no.

It's Puck has the. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's all about like hockey and stuff. And like he knows the game like like he can actually watch the games like you can fast forward at number two.

And you can still call out the second assist on highlights. I mean, he's unbelievable. So we were we were talking about it yesterday on as far as like this year. Like referees have just been jumping into fights like you have to fight behind the play now or they're really trying to get in there.

Yeah. And it's it's it's a bad move, man, because they've done all of this stuff to try to, you know, there's nothing wrong with just like being one of the top four. And it's just that's not how corporations view it. And they just so they're going to try to it's like you have a band that you love and their first two albums are killer.

Yeah. And then they just gradually start going more and more mainstream, more mainstream because they're trying to get more and more fans. And then they come out the other side like what is this? This isn't what it was.

This is one host me. Yes, speaking of which I was downloading. Remember the romantics? Yeah.

From the 80s that first album that I only have when they dressed all in the red suit? Like your album killer killer. Killer riffs just a great band. And by the time they got to like talking in your sleep and they had like, you know, the echo on the singing and the hair was all teased up and that was right around the time they drummed left was one of my favorite drums very like underrated guy, Jimmy Marinos.

And he was just had the vibe. He was total rock star. And I remember being upset when you know high school like I can't believe that guy left that guy was like, you know, because he sang what I like about you and everything. Yeah.

And but now looking back, I was like, yeah, no, he kind of picked a good time. He saw the writing on the wall. Yeah. But I mean, that takes a lot of balls though, you know, because you're starting really making money, you know, more and more screaming girls in the crowd to get younger and younger and you're like, Oh, God, we're really selling ourselves.

I think that's a point with a band like that where you just can't hold a record anymore. And you just have to totally steer into it knowing that it's all going to be over within three years and just buy a house and paid off during that time and just hope you can live off residuals. I think Pearl Jam, who I love who have, you know, who have the song that starts the podcast after their second album, I think Eddie Vedder went the other way. He's like, I don't, I see where this is going.

I don't want this. I'm going to, we're going to do some albums and maybe try to drive away some of these funny because I didn't like Pearl Jam at first and then by their third album, I was like, these guys are good. Yeah. These guys keep getting better.

So I liked the direction. I kept refining the sound and doing this. What was that? I was it?

Was it? Vitalology? Vitalogy. Yeah.

That's the one I got when I first got it. Yeah. That wasn't into 10. Yeah.

Yeah. 10 was the first number, then any verses then. Vitalogy. Yeah.

But, um, no, we were talking about hockey. The fighting thing, the thing that's frustrating about it for me is, and I get why they're trying to police it and crack down, but the playoffs, nobody fights. The dirty secret about fighting is like, it's really like a first half of the month season and guys trying to throw their weight around. But by the time we play, nobody wants to like get the instigator penalty or any of that stuff.

No, that's the quickest way down to the minors. And it's just so competitive and so fast. I can't believe like I watched, um, I was watching some, I'm like the king of going on and watching like games I saw already, like 20 years ago and I was watching this thing on, uh, I forget what game I was watching. Oh, first I was, I was watching Billy Smith, you know, hacking guys with the Islanders in the early days.

And I was just like, I can't believe how small and how slow everybody looks. And then even in the 90s, they look small. It's unbelievable. And like, I thought by the time we got to the 90s, like that we, human beings had reached like, you can't get bigger.

You can't get faster and all that. And I just think taking the red line out, no more two line passes. Like guys, it's like anybody who was sort of crafty kind of got like, like, you know, those guys are, uh, like the butch glory types, you know, had like the helmet that they painted 50 different colors for every team that they went to. And you just always, how does that guy get open?

How does he, like he's just this little guy out there. And like, and then there was always the guys that could really fly around. But now it's just everybody seems to have like the old flurry speed out there, even like the big guys, like how fast these guys go up and down the ice and how big they are. I'm also amazed by the size of some of the guys.

And that's why, like I saw of King season tickets going, you go to the game and there's some defense when he's like six, nine. Yeah, they can turn and it was six times. They would come at you like a truck. And if you could just sidestep, they keep going and like plowing to the first three rows.

And now, yeah, they like, they were like old school robots. Robots couldn't move and all these new ones have like lateral movement. That's what they've what they've become. And yeah, it's a really it's a really I did like something about and maybe apart because that's what the age we grew up with.

But I like the fact that Wayne Cashman was still skating around in an advanced age with like a little bit of a beer belly ready to scrap. But he had to watch the ball. He didn't have the helmet. He just the long dreadlocks of the back basically.

He looked like he was in a dad's league. But then he had like that left hand. But he would by the end, he was even losing the fights, but he stayed on two more years. And I don't know.

I miss like he was got that guy was tough. Those guys. That was sort of like I came on start watching the Bruins right at the end of the the generation past the big bad ruins right right after Esposito and all of those guys. It's like the tail and the Bobby were yeah.

When said catch left and was Stan Jonathan, Terri O'Reilly and in Ray Bork had just come in. So you were a tiny bit later than me. Yeah, I was like 81. I remember Ours.

I remember Ours last solid year barely. That was my first room. Oh, yeah. No, no, you started watching way.

Yeah, I was like four. Yeah. Yeah, I was a child if it was on television. I was watching.

But my parents were baseball and football. So I didn't get exposed to hockey. You know, in the days of just watching an entire baseball game and you have a nice heavy score. I had a notebook and he watched every single game over the summer.

Yeah, and he would keep score and then he would save him. He'd go back and look at him and stuff and like that was like you're going to like the baseball encyclopedia was like your notebook and your baseball cards and it's impossible to explain to anyone now that people did that because now it's online. You would there would be no reason to I'm blown away by people to wait. I think you got to play like fantasy to keep up with it because hockey, what I hate is I watched so much of it.

I can barely name anybody's name anymore because everybody's from like Europe or Russia. They got these crazy names. Yeah. And plus as you all you get your short term memory goes and like I've watched just about every Bruins game this year.

You still do. I'm so like Bruins and Celtics. I've been watching a lot of Celtics. Salty Barren.

Entertainment. How fun is that? Celtics Wizards rivalry. Oh my God.

It's unbelievable. Yeah. It's nothing black. That was silly.

But I liked was I just like that neither one of us as much as we're doing this. We're not going to beat the camps unless somebody gets hurt. But yeah, but there's a major trade. But it's really fun.

Like I'm actually already like the next big game that I'm looking for because we keep losing to the Toronto's we keep losing to the camp. We lose to the guys who basically going to be there at the end. But so the fact that we got this thing going on with the Wizards is great. It's almost like the undercard of the Mayweather Pacquiao fight or something.

Yeah. The undercard. Yeah. That's really what Toronto actually is the team that I think they'd even have more trouble matching up with than Cleveland.

Why don't I even have no bench? So our bench can kind of rally back a little bit. It's a Toronto's just a nightmare. I didn't like how John Wall flecks after dunking on Kelly Olenic.

That looks like me dunking on my little brother on a Nerf hoop. I mean, really? You got to like Kelly Olenic. You know, I love NBA rivalries.

And the NBA is just so scared between like the Rudy Tom Johnovich punch 40 years ago to some of the bad boy Pistons rallies next time. I went into the stands with the Queen. And then the R. Test Melee is the Quincher.

Yeah. And they just there and actually the worst and the one that never gets mentioned was when Carmelo and the Nuggets had the big fight in a machine, it spilled into the front row with all the rich number that one, like 10 years ago. And then Carmelo kind of sucker punched somebody in the back pedal 50 feet, which should be mentioned in his Hall of Fame resume when we got there. Like he did punch somebody in back pedal 55 feet.

Hasn't everybody done that in a bar fight? I mean, that is the move. It's really a little bit. You throw it and then you back up and then you wait until people are holding you back to start leaning forward like, let me add him.

It was a great hold me back. But I think after that when the people in the front row paying like 4,000 to ticket were in danger. I think that's that was it. So they just got that.

Well, they're not a corporation. So I would have thought just even the fear that that would happen without even a letter, I think that they would do that. But I also think that the NBA will be forever scared for what they were right before Bird and Magic came in and saved it. Take the lead finals and guys doing cocaine before games.

And all the people being like, you know, we're all the white guys go like that. That part at least is over. But I just think that they're really nervous about like because they were at a, I mean, I would think I mean, I don't know enough about the game, but especially during that time. But I would think that there was a legit concern about the ABA.

I would think just having a first standard of merging with them in like 76 part. Yeah, because of that concern. But then the next like seven years, there's an amazing sports illustrator article about this in like 1979. It's a big feature about basically what's wrong with the NBA.

And the thesis is, is the NBA too black and you just have GM's and people talking about it and challenges of selling a black league. And it's like these guys are too, like an anonymous GM is like, these guys are, it's just too black right now. You can't sell the league and you're like, wow, this feels like it came out in 1882. Yeah, but if you look at it though, if you look at those, the black and white footage of the Celtics and their opponents when they play it, I mean, it looks like a pick up game at the wide and it does.

It's changed so quickly. I don't think that socially people progress nearly at the rate that the game did. Right. So we're there now, though.

Actually saying that even let's just take out that they were saying it in a racist way, like racially like what they were saying is far as just trying to sell the product. I mean, you have to know what your customer is. If your customer is like, I mean, you're talking like a 30 something year old at that point, like when he was born and like what they saw, I mean, they were around to see like when there was like, you know, whites only like, oh, yes, parts of the bus and like bathrooms and stuff. So for them to be legitimately concerned, forget about an owner who's probably like in their 60s, like that's not that people do a lot like when they look back on history is they forget like when people were born, you know, like when I watched.

Yeah, over 70 should at least be taken with the grain of salt. Anyone over 70 at all times. Well, I watch I saw that movie, Hidden Figures. Yeah.

Kevin Carson, who I love, I got to do a move with them. Amazing guy. His character, the fact that his character was progressive, you know, yet was his age, like a 60 year old guy, a 60 year old guy in the early 60s was born almost in 1900. How is he more progressive than some of the younger guys on it?

I mean, that can happen. But like that's the stuff that I always like think about like whenever, you know, like, especially with the internet now, that's like a big thing is going back in time now that everybody knows the air quote, right way to think and going like, what's up with that? Like, like they'll go back like 80 Murphy delirious going, oh, all this stuff. He said about gay people and say, yeah, everybody laughed.

Right. Because that's where everybody was at because people didn't know any better. And now you look back and the same people who laughed, but they're not on tape laughing, then get to be like, oh, that's absolutely blah, blah, blah, blah. You know, it's like, no, that's it's sort of a normative where people were at.

There's some, I've watched a lot of Seinfeld over the last couple of months because my daughter really likes it. It's on Hulu. And she goes, I put on a Seinfeld, but on a Seinfeld. And there's Seinfeld episodes where when you watch them through the 2017 prism, yeah.

Oh, that like there's a whole that whole that was a famous episode. It was the reporter thought George and Jerry were gay and it could go, not that there's anything wrong with that. But I feel like if you even did that episode now, there would be like a piece of right. Yeah, but he's even like, I'm not that we're wrong with that.

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Make your next move and make your next website. Back to Bilber. I hear Mary Tyler Moore dot today. There's another timeless one.

I think Ted Knight, you top television character actors of all time. Ted Knight doing Ted Baxter, John Travolta, Vinnie Barberino. I'm trying to think of my Mount Rushmore, Henry Winkler doing the fonts because that was not on paper at all. Just as far as when I was growing up, I don't know who my fourth one is, but like- Just like unique belong to the air actors.

Like the writers wrote it and then this person came in and just took it off the page and just like took it all the way to this whole level of like you always see the story about Henry Winkler when he came in to play the fonts. They wanted like this big like burly like Italian kind of guy that looked like he could throw somebody through the wall and Henry Winkler came in like who's like smaller than I am and just like five seven. Hey, I had the character and just completely blew him away. I've done a little bit of acting work.

Like you gain appreciation so much more. Like I drive my wife not sometimes. Like I'll be watching like me TV and I'll be like, look at it. None of that is on the page.

That guy just came up with that. She just came up with that. Like I'm one of those people, I'm blown away by actors like the stuff that they can come up with and I think it's a really disrespected art where everybody thinks they can do it. Oh, okay.

You know modeling is a little like that too where they can just have the smiling charisma thing for like seven hours. I was just thinking of modeling. Oh, yeah. You know, like just things where you have to do something over and over again for eight hours at the same level.

It's exhausting. I don't even know. I can imagine it is. Oh my God.

I can't smile for an hour. Yeah, I've had to do a few just wardrobe fittings for a show. You're going to do this. Let's try like five different jackets.

I swear to God. You become like a little kid at the department store. Yeah, it's the worst. The acting though, it's like you read the stories about these directors that make somebody do 35 takes of the same scene because they're trying to break them down in some way and then take 34 when the person's just laughing.

Oh, he was the most famous one for that. Oh, yeah. He was trying to drive a breakdown by the end of the movie. Just kept making her do stuff over and over again and yelling at her and by the end of it, she was like she was being haunted by Jack Nicholson, which is what he wanted.

I'm German Irish. I would totally. I would do it. You're not going to do it.

You're not going to do it. You're not going to do it. I joked to my wife one time when she was I feel what she said she was going to I feel what scenario she presented me and I was just going she was I think you handle that and I said oh I'm German Irish. There's nothing you can throw at me emotionally that I can't bury and it's true.

I will bury all of it and it'll just be sitting there hovering right next to me and it'll come out but it'll come out like when someone you know waits to the light turns green to put on the left turn signal I'm right on that bumper. That's when it comes out but in the moment like I'll just sit there and suffer in silence. It's really a disease. I'm trying hopefully not to pass that on.

Tom Hagen was German Irish and Godfather the conciliary right? Which Godfather one members? He goes to see the guy who's who and the horse ends up in his bed and he's like let me tell you something. He's like let me tell you something you whopper or whatever and he's like I'm German Irish.

You're up so. So do you know you ever seen that house? The house? It's in LA right?

It's like a $100 house. That's like the most expensive house in the way. Yeah it's incredible. I'll show you a picture of it.

I want to blow up the first spot where it is but I mean you can find it online but it's you can find anything online. It's scary. It's it's it's incredible. It's really so did you know that the All-Star game is here this weekend in Los Angeles, California for hockey.

For hockey yes yes I did. Did you know that the 100 greatest living players are going to be in LA doing stuff? You know what I knew that but I didn't don't know me that they're actually in the city. I knew that.

I knew that because I did Bartniks Puckoff and he brought that up. This is how I knew you just had a baby because normally the no baby Bill Barr I feel like you would you would be at this event. Just seeing how you would be in a Gretzky if you now you're throwing in 50 other living legends I know those guys like Espo Bobby Hall with like the bad rug that's gonna be great. In basketball in the 80s I don't think it will ever be like that was you know because I you know when I got to see the golden age of football 70s into the 80s like I think the 80s the greatest sports decade of my life as far as the kinds the people that played and who you got to see you know.

We know it's great. All of those guys it was the golden age of hockey or everything. Everything. And some of the greatest fighters and forces all of that stuff in hockey and you still had the old school stadiums Buffalo had the odd we had the garden there was the forum I mean Maple Leaf Gardens all these but Joe Lewis means what's gonna be going and then you had in basketball you know you had bird magic into the bad boys of Detroit and football you had the great boy back into Jordan and then what I loved about what I miss about the NBA is everybody had that seven footer that they were trying to work the ball down so you knew you knew who everybody's you know you knew T.

Rollins you knew Jack Sickman you knew who the big guys were Kareem with this guy hook it's just what it's like that poster you have up on the wall like those guys were just. And also it's because I was a kid and you have all those great memories of coming home making stakems right. I can't get ready to watch. Oh yeah.

All of that stuff was just the greatest much better college hoops back then. Yeah. Yeah. All of those guys man.

Yeah I think part of it because in a lot of ways like the NBA is probably better now than it was in the 80s from a talent standpoint but I think the level of just analysis and picking guys apart and talking about them and talking about them it was much more innocent back than the 80s like magic melting down in the 84 finals and you know he cost them game two and he sucked at the end of game four and in game seven he choked a couple times on the stretch like if that happened in the internet air that's all people talk about for six months. Yeah I watched that. I don't remember seeing that. Yeah you made like five bad plays in three games.

All of them I was just game six we were up by like 18 and we were going to win it and I was all excited and then we just they came back one of those games and then we blew it and I was like oh my god are we going to blow this and then that was my favorite championship that I saw them when was beating them in 84 and that's my respect for the Lakers who are the most successful franchise in my lifetime. They've won the most championships believe it or not for some reason people don't talk about that since like 68 when I was born they've won the most. That's true. I did see the Laker fans count the Minnesota titles which I really bothers me.

Yeah and they count I learned from your book that WBL or DAA. Yeah there's a lot of chicanery with the Minnesota titles. But I like about that what I like about the well the four of them were in the NBA so I'll give them that but what I love about it fits LA how everybody's out here you know pat in their resume saying they're a director when they're waiting tables and stuff so you know if you somehow somehow the Minneapolis Lakers won an NBA championship before the NBA existed. I don't know how you do that somehow they did it and for whatever reason that flag well makes sense because it's the same franchise hangs in the Staples Center and do you think the OKC fans should claim the 1979 Seattle Sonics title?

Well this is the only one we won in 79. Look there's no way they would do that. Let's say the Lakers moved. Yeah you got all the titles.

And they go to Vegas let's say whatever reason they go and they leave and then they win a championship there and what do you think would happen if there was a bunch of Vegas Laker fans which would be even better that they keep Lakers in Vegas. We're like yeah that's 17 bitches and they walked around with a jacket that had all the banners on the back. What do you think Laker fans would say they would go insane but that's how that's how it works politics works the same way. You know anybody was for Trump could see how not Hillary was anyway so Hillary could see how not Stromp was and you know it's very rare that you can kind of look at both of them and be like yeah this is this person to this this person to Dallas try to weigh this out.

I'm certainly not good at it. The LA Rams and now the LA Chargers we now have two football teams you're transplanting like I am. Yes nobody cared that the Rams were here really and now we have the Chargers now there's two football teams that nobody's going to care about are you fascinated by the story. I think we are we are in the entertainment bubble part of LA out here.

So that we we see the not caring but I was I went to a game and do there was some great throwback jerseys that people had I saw Wendell Tyler. Oh Jack Youngblood I saw some a bunch of Dickerson's but he's like they're making fair gamas I saw Vince Faragamas there was some I don't think I saw Pat Hagen but like I saw a Merlin Olson Rosie Greer and they had like the blue with the white and everything I mean personally I think that they should go back to the blue and yell. I think a lot of LA gets a bad rep for being sports fans because of the Hollywood phoneys like us who move out here. Well there's a lot of kids for like two seconds and yeah it's very transparent but if you get out to like Inland Empire you go a little North here and all that those are like hardcore fans like my favorite person to meet out here is a lifelong person Los Angelino that lived out here because they love it out here and I get sick of listening to people bitch about it because it is an amazing place to live it's definitely difficult.

Totally agree. Yeah so I like the lifelong Dodger fans I think I've met some good ones and you forget like they moved out here in the late 50s or 60 whatever it was. And every Red Sox fan was a Dodger fan of 77 and 70 and 81 God knows we couldn't get the engine. We couldn't be like hey we can't do it we keep choking can you guys I love when they won in 81 when they finally got him because like I said God knows we couldn't beat him.

What a sad time for the Red Sox that was when we were rooting for other teams that played the Yankees and we were rooting for Ray Borton to win the Cup on another team and all that stuff. That's why I'm trying to enjoy Brady and Belichick because that's gonna happen again because they gonna leave and I mean Belichick's almost 70. I mean how much longer can you. I noticed that when they when the Tuck Row University stuff was going on and they put the entire Tuck we did a we call it the snow game snow game oral history 15 years later but then the end of the entire game on size like I gotta watch the Terrace kick the first game it's just like such a great moment.

But then afterwards or for the four or whatever after the fumble after the fumble yeah the stupidest rule ever maybe the start of it they interview Belichick and he looks 38 years younger. Yeah. This is 15 years ago he looks like he's a 40 year old man. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. He's brutal if you look at him if you look at him I don't know when he's with Cleveland always with the Giants when he's really young he was a really good looking guy. Yeah.

Yeah. Really good looking like strong. He's fucking handsome now like a strong he was physiquist strong. Yeah.

I don't know. You know in Barstool sports did you see that video that that kid made of you know Bronx tail now you can't leave you know when they're in the Yeah yeah I think he did that but it was we did really we did one right after the flakie with with Bell Check do and say hello to the bad guys from Scarface, you keep like me because I do think that's how he feels to some degree well just though honestly the level of nit picking you know even like with the Steelers they're like that was a fire alarm pulled and then like you put it on the NFL Network and you got like Lawrence Taylor going yeah we used to find out with the opposing running back what kind of woman he liked and we'd order three calls girls to go Oh, they're trying to keep them up all night. And he's just, ah! Oh!

The giants, everything's hilarious. Everything's hilarious unless we do it. So you just have to take that as a compliment, as a sports fan, meaning like these people are upset. That's why I love Giants fans, because they never complain about the Patriots, because they kicked our ass twice.

They don't have to nitpick. They beat us, where everybody else has to be like, oh, you're just a Brady fan boy. They take it out. The Giants fans look at us objectively.

You're right. Yeah. And they do this. And I got to be honest with you, I love the Giants.

I love the Giants. I always, and I love the Steelers. I just love defensive minded teams. I love watching them.

They're better than watching just a defensive's going to shut down. The way they beat our undefeated team, I thought we legitimately lost that game. I thought they were just more face-to-face. They just dominated our O-line.

And Brady still drove us down. Yeah, we had to leave with three minutes left. He's done every game this time. Every game was a game this time.

Every game was every game every suppose ever been. You know, he's driven down for either the go ahead, get us in position for a field goal or a touchdown. And what's crazy to me is that he'll take, you know, the, the, the, the, like, it's part of being in the quarterback. But like, ah, if I defense go to hell with him, he could already had five, maybe six.

I wouldn't, I wouldn't say though in a way. Or he could go the other way and say we could have lost the Rams game in overtime. Oh sure we could have. I think the Panthers and Eagles were winning those games nine out of ten times.

I thought the Panthers were like, what's this? What's this face? Who was there quarterback? He hit the game of his life?

The lot, man, he was not even remotely nervous. I remember when he scored that, he threw that touchdown and he turned around. Yeah, he got her. Yeah.

He was talking around. He was talking all kinds of trash and he was shaking his head and I was just going like, oh, he was like, like, he was in like that Vince Young zone before Vince Young except he went and he was in the Rose Bowl except he didn't win it. Like I was, um, I was legitimately, that's part of being an football player. You got open a steakhouse.

I was legitimately concerned with that. Like the Rams, I was thinking, you know, we had a shot because Bella check was the. Well, the Rams, all the Boston DNA came in because we had the interception touchdown that they called back on the penalty that would end the game with like 10 minutes left and then the Rams scored and all of my Boston. I was never.

I love bringing that one. I was sitting in the opposite end. They called it a little. They chipped him.

So I was sitting in the end zone where they kicked the, we're going to take the game and he feel good. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And that TD he's running toward us and it's going to end the game and then like, that flag down and it was just like, oh, we're gonna lose again. It was like too many men on the ice and and by the end and all those moments were coming together again in this game.

And I just remember like just not being able to breathe. When they went in the Super Bowl the first time, to me, I was like, I would have thought I would have seen the Red Sox win a World Series before because they were playing that little crappy stadium. They were the black sheep. We were in the upper deck of the opposite ends of my brother and my dad and I just remember they lined up to kick the field goal and it was in the air.

Everybody just sort of put their arms out like, like just touching, you know, like in front, you know, your mother would put your hand in front of you when you were going to, when she slammed on the brakes when you didn't put the seat belts on kids. Everybody was doing that on both sides. And I was like, oh my God, I went through and I just remember the whole section was like tackled each other. That was my section.

Word about my dad, like making sure, you know, he's old a guy, they didn't want to break his leg or anything. And then getting up in the three Rams fans that were there, two of them had already left and one guy stuck around and I said, hey, good game. I said, thanks. And he left and I couldn't believe it.

I could not believe it. And I thought for sure that that was, that we're one and done. Like to me, we won a Super Bowl means the Red Sox are not gonna go another 50 years. Celtics will have another draft pick that's gonna somehow die tragically.

And I just, you know, we would just in that era, we're never gonna beat the Yankees. And I was really, really savor this one. I had no idea that we were gonna go on a run. Yeah, the Celtics were like Aaron Rodgers.

The Red Sox were like Jordan Rodgers, the one that won the Bachelor, but that kind of, you know, definitely pseudo-black sheep. And the Patriots were the other Rodgers brother. He was like, just excited to be on the Bachelor with his breath. Like, just like a full-fledged black sheep.

Like, try to be a little bald one, brothers. He was Danny, he was Danny. He was Danny. He was Danny.

Who, by the way, is great in trees lounge if you've never seen it. He's hilarious. Alec was, Alec was the Celtics. Boy, the Red Sox, depending on who you think it's a baseball guy.

Billy's the Red Sox. Billy's the Red Sox. I think Danny was, I mean, Billy was the Bruins. I think it was the Bruins.

It depends on what year. It depends on what year you're talking because Alec was the Bruins. The Patriots were whoever the worst one was. That was the black sheep.

I mean, they almost moved. They're gonna go to Hartford. There was a whole piece about it this week about it. They were like all the way down with Hartford.

I was done with them, too. They were gonna move. I was done. I mean, I say that.

I was saying that in anger that I was gonna be like, if you guys leave. And the funny thing is, it's probably just as close as Foxboro is, if you're leaving from Boston. Well, it's not gonna be a trap. It's not gonna be a hard word.

I know. I had season tickets back when they would let you do this. There was a town just before Foxboro. We used to park.

It was a dead end street. Yeah. And it was the greatest thing because you jump on that street that ran parallel to root one and all these suckers were sitting in traffic and we would go through Walpole and all of that. We'd get all the way over there and we'd go down this dead end street.

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This episode was published on January 25, 2017.

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