EP 17: What Matters More: What You Meant or How You Landed?

"I didn't mean it that way."This phrase kills relationships. Here's why—and what to say instead.Intent vs. impact: Intent is what you meant. Impact is what they experienced. These are often completely different.When someone says you hurt them and you defend your intent, you're dismissing their reality. You're saying: "What I meant matters more than what you felt."This episode covers:Why we default to defending ourselves (ego, shame, identity protection)Why good intentions don't prevent harmThe communication gap between sender and receiverHow power dynamics amplify impactWhat to say instead: "I see that hurt you" vs. "I didn't mean it"The "pause before defense" practiceThe right sequence: acknowledge impact, apologize, listen, THEN explain intentGrowth begins when we stop asking "What did I mean?" and start asking "What did they experience?"New series: Intent vs. Impact — Moving Beyond "I Didn't Mean It"