How many times have you touched your genitals then since I lock it out? How many times have you given a good, vigorous, old, friendly handshake? I'm not even gonna... You should not.
I don't have an intro for this episode. Well, so... I'm poor. Tell me how many times you wank.
Is that simple? No, Paul. I'll tell you what. What?
You really do not have an intro. You do not have an intro. And I tell you what... You tell me what isn't the intro?
You do an intro. I tell you what isn't the intro. Is it this? Yes, this is not the intro.
I'm gonna stop the recording. I can stop the recording mate. I'm recording myself. I'll tell you what I'm to do.
Fucking think of something apart from me touching my nads. Jesus Christ. Fine. OK.
What do you want me to fucking tell you? What? I've got it. I've sorted it out.
Here's a new... First of all, you can only tell me how to touch your dick. To the point of ejaculation. That's all old about it.
Only a hand. Only a hand. I've got it. It's cheap show.
You know? Only a few times. How many times? A handful of times.
So to speak. It's cheap show. Oh fucking hell. I hate you.
And your fucking moodle posse. How can cheap show you're gonna have to learn the fucking accent? Chee show. Chee show.
It's a price of shame. Be like self-hundered. Chee show. And a girl with a nuzzle.
Hello ladies and gentlemen. And boys and girls for another episode of Cheap Show. The economy podcast with me Paul Ganon and my faithful friend. You guys self-hundered.
Hi. Hi. Hi. You know what Paul?
The number of ball touching incidents. It's increasing. Is it building up the main searching as we speak? Other numbers rising.
The numbers are rising going up all the bloody time mate. Are we reached peak genital manipulation yet? You've given me an idea basically and I'm carrying it through. Go on.
I'm not touching my nads. I can't believe we're talking about this. What? You know, I said people don't know that I'm wank.
You know, everyone wanks. In normal society these days, it's a normal healthy thing that you do. Prevent fucking bullet cancer. I don't know if they're gonna put that on a poster though.
Wank more. You won't get bullet cancer. It's not gonna turn up in a surgery world wall. Is it?
I've seen it. Have you? You've seen the poster that says explicitly. Wank more or you'll get bullet cancer.
I was at the GP and I'm waiting and I've got all the posters there. You know how to wash your hands and you know, you know, you should get diabetes, sex, if you're at age and all of this. And there's a poster there going, spot for your broth off twice daily to stop getting bullet cancer. You can't.
That's what the poster actually said. Great. Well, you know, there's a funny for the NHS for you, isn't it? Workin' in action.
It's madness. It's madness, mate. Speaking of madness, I'm getting close to it. I've been in the house now for about two and a half weeks.
I've left the house twice briefly, wanted to go to Morrison's, which was very much like the scene in Dawn of the Dead where they sneak out their idhol and race into the mall to grab a few essentials and get back. Ah, yeah. So, and then we'll go to the day at the day. Yeah.
The whole thing's got a bit of a dawn of the day to kind of vibe to it, doesn't it? Really? It's just bizarre, very weird times. So I think it's odd duty, you and I, to provide a service of locks and yocks and ha-ha-has for the people listening who want to take their mind off the subject for an hour or so.
Yes, you're absolutely right, Paul. And let me just have a little go at that now if you let me. If you let me. You know what it will mean, sir.
Wanking bullet, fill my bullet, buff, stuff it up your bum, bullet hole, touch my nads, hairy, bum, bum. Good start. Let me just, let me just, let me just, let me just, let me just have a few more. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
Gee, is he splish blash? Fucking party. Corisole Nizzle. Corisole.
Corisole Nizzle. Whoopee whoopee. We're bleeding the lead. Pooh.
I was told to move on twice by the police yesterday. Because they thought what? They thought that because someone in the government said people shouldn't be going to the park, that they thought that was law and they've taken it into their own hands to harass myself when I was completely apart from every other person, but just happened to be out. I think, like, for me, the two police were out.
They saw you, we thought, you boys mate, you all went, yeah. Let's take the piss out of this toss pot. Someone just looked at it and magged through it. No, but funny thing that he said, he said, look.
Sort of like dick. No. He said, you know, we are people to move on and we need to be seen to be not just saying this to certain types of people. Oh, interesting.
So what's he trying to say? OK, we're only coming up to you because you're not black, so we have to balance the bush at books or something, you know what I mean? Possibly. It doesn't work.
I don't know. Maybe just randomly, randomly grabbing people and saying, go home. They are. But the other incident that happened the other day was walking.
Yeah, it's from the walking. So that's what we should do. We're going to do a new bit for this period of the thing. Here we go.
So we have our rare instances where we walk for some reason. Then you can tell us the parkway. Call it the pathway. Tales from the Pathway.
Tales from the Pathway. You know what? Round of applause at Eli Silverman. A brand new segment that's fully ratified by Paul Gannon, TM.
Thank you very much. So. Tales from the. What a cool pathway.
Tales from the pathway. Hello. Welcome to Tales from the Pathway. Myself, Eli Silverman.
This is the section of the cheap show where I will regale the listenership with a little anecdote about my totally safe social distancing, allowed walks. Right? Fair enough. So I'm out.
I'm going on one of these totally allowed, totally not forbidden walks because I'm a free person, you know, and I'm prepared to stay home. That's but I'm allowed out once a day, right? It's not big enough to tell the story. So I'm walking along and some police are coming towards me.
OK, so I think I need to remain a safe two metres away from these people, just like anyone else, not just because they're police. And then I move aside. But they see me moving aside and they follow me. They come.
They cross as well. You know, like two people trying to avoid each other when they walk towards each other. They're doing on purpose. So I move across to the other side of the road again, back.
I zigzag back and they move back. And then I think, what the fuck is going on? I zigzag back the other way. And I'm like, what the fuck is going on here?
And he goes, oh, it's a bit suspicious. They're both about two for one. So I come across as Jasper Carrot. They're both about fucking seven years old, these fucking police men.
So they've gone for two year olds to seven year olds to prove your point. They just do it too. Two is just a bit too young. You know, they're not these two year olds have access to, you know, they don't have motor skills.
Right. So anyway, he goes, he goes, what are you doing? Trying to avoid us, bitches, which is what are you up to? And I'm like, it's two metres.
We're men who keep two metres away from everyone, you know? And he went, and then they walked off like, what kind of fucking moron are you? As if I was trying to get away from them. I'd keep walking towards them, but just try and keep out their path.
That's what I do if I was guilty of something and I was trying to, you know, the main as if, and as if you had to see the news anyway, that's my tales from the fucking pathway. It's not very good. Right. OK.
We've got we do have content with this episode and some of it's been supplied. We've got coming up. Well, we've got a little more. We've got a story to interfere with.
What's the word I'm looking for? Interject, interject. We've got something to interfere with. We've got something to interfere with.
We've got a story I like to interfere with. Yeah, come on. Yeah, it's the story of my dick getting out. Tails as old as time.
I like to interfere by aiding in it in its hardness-growing style. Right. I believe I'm talking about it now. I dropped it a long time ago.
Anyway, we do that. And we do have a price of shite. Price of shite. Fantastic.
Now, this is the first time we're going to try the remote price of shite. So I'll be playing the game with price of shite today, but I won't be able to actually physically hold the objects on my hand. I'll be watching them. In many ways, it could be a tougher challenge, but we'll see.
That's all to come on this week's lockdown edition of Cheap Show and for the record. I've had three wanks and it's just not good enough. I need to do better. What do you mean?
I need to do? I can't be doing just three. It's a good old time for a couple of minutes. It's a lark.
You know, I laugh myself to death sometimes, I'm masturbating. It's such a laugh. I'll just, I'm on my back with my legs in the air, jostling and bouncing up and down as I reach the end of a long, slow wank. Welcome to Cheap Show, let's crack on with the show, shall we?
So, Mr Silverman, now that we're on lockdown, do you have any life hacks for us to get this through this difficult time? Well, Paul, you said, well, do some life hacks again. And the problem with that is that would involve actually being able to think of a single thing. So you've not thought of anything?
I did have one. I did have one. Yeah, do you want to hear it? All right, here we go.
Ladies, I'm in long-awaited life hack. Here we go. When you're ready, Mr Silverman, begin. In the morning, the breakfast, have a fries Turkish delight, and then sort of try to go back to sleep for a couple of hours, but not really managing.
This is very specific sounding life hacks. Yeah, that's what I've been doing. On at least two mornings recently, I've had a whole fries Turkish delight just there by the bed in the house of pickles ready. Yeah.
Have it ready. This is part of the... It tastes the paradise, just so you can escape for a while. I don't know about you.
I don't know if we discussed this on Cheap Show before, Paul, but I fucking love a fries Turkish delight, me. Love it. I don't think I've had one in decades. I can safely say decades.
Why didn't you like them? I tell you why. You know the Milky Way's Milky Bar story. What about when you ate from my history?
When you ate so much white chocolate that you vomited. Yeah. You did the same thing with flail Turkish delight. Pretty much.
So, back in school days, I wanted to be an actor, and so there was a school production of The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe, and I, more than anything in the world, wanted to be Edmund. Okay. The kind of bad kid. Right.
Because he gets all the juicy rolls, right? Well, I don't know. You know what would be a good roll, which I've got. Guess which roll I try and get if we're really doing that.
The Lion. I hear he likes and stuff. Like a sheep. You would literally look like down in the Yeah.
It sounds like you gave me the role of Peter. It was a good boy. It was a good, he good boy. He gets a sword fight with ball ring.
Yeah, but I bet Peter was more like you know, just sort of a milk toast, wallflower, I'm more like Edmund. You know, I'm a naughty boy. You know, you weren't a bad boy at school. I proved it.
How were you a bad boy at school? Tell me what did you do? I was. I used to roll my blazer sleeves up in a Miami-Fy style.
No. No. I made I made leg warmers out of a jumper I had by cutting off the sleeves. Right.
Yeah. Okay. I shot in a history teacher's mouth. No, you fuck off.
Immediately. We're in flights of fantasy because you can't even think of your bad boy credential. That's how I got my B. Have you been expelled from a school?
Have you? No. Well, I have. Who's the bad boy?
Actually, kind of. I was being kind of. Well, when I first went to secondary school, I couldn't adjust to the change from primary to secondary and I hated it. And so I'd bonk off school all the time.
Yeah. And not do stuff and be silly. And so I got taught from home for a while and then they integrated me. Oh, wow.
That is quite bad boy. And then I shot in the P.E.T. I just got an A. You fucking didn't.
I used to throw chairs at the teachers. Tanya little ones. Yeah, they were little ones. Funny.
How did you know that? Were you there? How old were you? You're like three.
No, this is when I was sort of eight nine. That's when you were at that school. So basically all the chairs you would have probably made a fucking marshmallow. No, it was the Steiner school, which is.
Yeah. They make pianos. Yeah. That's Steine Way or Stein.
Stein Way school. No, I went to a Steiner school. Oh, yeah. That's that joke.
No, it was. It was. So we've lost our way here, haven't we? What are we talking about?
Yeah, we meant to do a life act. I got a life act for you. What did you think about my Turkish delight life act? Life act.
It was all right. It was all right. It was a specific. I've got another one.
Bring you joy. You've got another quick one to guard against times of trouble and scarcity. Simply develop a trivia and noodle obsessed podcast and people will send you supplies that will be in your room forever. I've been eating all sorts of weird chocolate that we never did on the show.
You are. It's like many respects cheap shows sent you into like a conspiracy truth. Who's got a bonkour with all sorts of things in it. There's so many noodles in here that I never even thought about.
Prepper or something they call it. I've prepped with noodles, mate. I've got noodles as far as the eye can see. It's like the warehouse at the end of Indiana Jones, mate.
But just noodles. Yeah. Indiana Silverman and the Raiders of the lost. So what?
What fucking I thought you cut out on your end and not that you just. I was trying to think of like a clever pop noodle, you know, cut noodle name to you know, to replace arc and then I realized I know next to nothing about noodles because I never listened to you. Yeah, that's fucking true. And you should listen more.
Well, there we go. I've got a life back. OK, hit me with it. I get right.
If you're running low on tobacco or you've got dry tobacco and you're a smoker. Right. Oh, this is great. Take the dry tobacco.
You've got left, separate it into two halves and one off, you put on a bit of paper and you spray it lightly with water if you can get a fine mist and you get it down. And once that side's down, you put it in with the dry and you mix it up and you put it in a little bag to sweat off and about a couple of hours, it's much more moist and you can have old tobacco. That's not a lie fact. That's how to give yourself lung cancer.
All right. Oh, this is not. All right. OK, all right.
If you're here's a life back for you. OK, if you're running low on toilet paper, yeah, here's what you do. You have to put up with just smelling like shit forever. Yeah, that's a good one.
Yeah. No, all right. If you're running low on toilet paper, buy elaborate towels from your supermarket and just burn through them. Yeah.
If you're running low on toilet paper, grow up and be a man about it or women or whatever. You'd be recognised if indeed you do it all. Thank you. Yeah, get on.
And just what you have with your ass. I mean, you're ass. You're ass with your hands. And we came very close to that.
In fact, we were close to running off on toilet paper. And I thought, you know what, end of the day, if we run out of toilet roll, I'm just going to use the shower head and give it a good old water blast. Well, that's what I'd be days are actually a good thing, aren't they? Remember be days?
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. My first experience of the be day was when we were on holiday as a family in Spain in the mid-90s, almost like 14, 15.
And I was seeing one and it was a small toilet next to a big toilet. I thought, what's all that about? So I sat on it and I saw the two taps, ones of hot and colds. I just thought I just put hot on.
Didn't realise it would be the hottest water known to human existence. And not only that, but my ringpiece was so perfectly placed on the jet streamer for that hot blast of water that I shot off in like Yosemite Sanner. I'm running around in circles. And then eventually had to stick an ice cold sponge of water up my bubble to keep us cos stop the pain.
Wow. I didn't think we were going to get a B-Day story of equality today, Paul. Thank you. You burnt your ass very much.
All I'm saying is test the temperature of the water before you put the most delicate part of your body right up against it. OK, we will. But you don't see them anymore. They went out of fashion, didn't they?
But they'd be good if you had a rally low on toilet paper, wouldn't they? Well, like it's just apparently like in some countries, B-Day's or whatever, just perfectly natural, normal things. They don't have toilet paper, you know, but like Britain's just a toilet paper country. So why people go fucking mental and they think they can't wipe their ass.
Yes, it's bizarre. So here's what we're doing this segment. OK, that was a great way of either way. Well done.
Thank you. Well, we're bringing back. Oh, definitely. So we've had a few people send us this on Twitter.
So if you sent this article on Twitter, there was about 20. Thank you all. Thanks for sending stuff in. It comes from Vice.
The article is called The Walkers Crisp Conspiracy that has convinced people within an alternate reality. I bet this is about the triumvirate of snacks, isn't it? Well, let's see where it goes. Fucking hell.
We have covered this topic before. If only looks like that Berenstein Birds Bullshit that we had to talk about a few years ago. Mandela, it was always staying. It's because steam or Stein is it's much more commonplace that we supplanted that in replace of stage.
Yes. I do think that since 2016 we have bumped over into another reality because all of this is fucking cockabongers. Anyway, so here's what the story goes. I get on vice who's the article or Gustin Serf.
It's very strange name. Two thirds of people I spoke to, including Gary Linica, believe the company's salt and vinegar packets were once blue and their cheese and onion packets were green. Apparently they're all rot. What?
And that's the pre-sea. That's the pre-sea with which the story begins. Oh, my what? Paul, what?
I can't. I can't. I'll cover this. No, rationally.
No, I don't. Calm down. Right. Take a breath.
Take a breath. I know we're living in strange times. Cheese moments. Come on.
Cheese moments. Oh, good talk about. On a sidebar, on a little sidebar, I'll report. Guess who ate literally two packets of bacon fries and two packets of scampi fries in one sitting in bed the other night?
It was such a lonely, tragic, desperate, pathetic thing to do. I'm going to take a guess and say it was you. Yeah, it was. Yeah.
Yeah, there we go. Good. Go on. Do I win a prize or is it just not going to be realisation that we're both doomed?
I'll send you. Nap is palties. Right. Good.
Nap is palties. Right. OK, well, since you're gone, I'll just carry on for this. Please carry on for that.
The article begins with a quote. The wrong flavoured crisps can cause a ripple effect throughout the whole of world history. That's Mark Garrett, senior political lecturer at the University of Lancaster on a mystery that's been circling for some time. And mystery, I stumbled upon one night in the pub.
I was talking into a bag of walkers, salt and vinegar crisps, written at the seam and spread invitingly over the table. When I lamented that walkers, we've all hit the side, I think, but I'm just going to call them. All right. When I lamented that walkers had switched the colour of salt and vinegar and cheese and onion packets from blue to green and green to blue, respectively.
Common knowledge, I thought. My friend was adamant that they'd always been this way around. I whipped out my phone only to be gas-sided by the FAQ section of the walkers' website. Like us or die?
Yeah. Well, this is what the walkers' website says. Question. Why did you change your packaging for salt and vinegar and cheese and onion?
So they're the wrong colours. Answer. Contrary to popular belief, walkers, cheese and onion have always been in blue packets. And salt and vinegar have always been in green packets.
And we don't have a plan to change this as it's signature to our brand. No, no, no, no, no. Right, you've got to point your one to bring up. That's not true.
And you know what? I say walkers lie. And I'll be honest. I don't know.
I'll give you an example, Paul, of a company doing exactly this, right? But with a bit more extreme. Coca-Cola. It's historical fact that Coca-Cola had cocaine in it when it started.
They deny that. So that's exactly like this. That is a lie. And also, release the cheese moment cut as well, walkers, yeah?
Hashtag release the cheese moment cut. Yes. Between us, we need to solve every Christmas mystery in the world. This is...
This is... This is... This is... Chris...
Chris... Chris... Chris... Chris...
Chris... Chris... Chris... Chris...
Chris... Chris... Chris... Chris...
Chris... Chris... Chris... Chris...
Chris... Chris... Chris... Chris...
Chris... Chris... Chris... Chris...
Chris... Chris... Chris... Chris...
Chris... Chris... Chris... Chris...
Chris... Chris... Chris... Chris...
Chris... Chris... Chris... I'm not even joking.
I'm not even putting this on just for the podcast. I actually love the poultice talk. Right, OK, well, let's continue. Here we go.
The article continues. I had no idea, says the journalist, sitting in that sweaty, full as licking additive lace vinegar off my fingertips. That I had just done more than what could be the biggest corporate stitch up since the Enron scandal. Oh, and look at me.
I know it. Get on with it. I know it's a tiny, cheap article, but fuck you know. Fucking hell.
Get to the meat and bones of this fucking... Anyway, continue, please. That's the problem with advice, article. It's not about the story, they're about the con telling the story.
I know. And sometimes that's OK, because it is actually quite amusing. But sometimes it's like this, and it's just an annoying toe. You know what I mean?
That he has. It felt baffling to have my personal account of history denied. So I decided to investigate via the media of making a podcast about it. Of course you did.
And to kick things off, track down Gary Linneker, longtime walker's representative. He couldn't have been clearer. He remembers a switch. Yeah, so he's been bought off.
They're all in walkers pocket. Right, he does remember a switch. He's been bought off by Golden Wonder. He's taking Golden Wonder money on the side.
He's on the side. Oh, you've got to think about this logically, right? Who benefits by denying that they used to be the other way round? Only walkers did.
And there's a little clue in what he found that journalist found on the website, because it said traditional. It's always been the same, you know, as if they as if they're trying to they're trying to build a brand thing where we've always been here, but they weren't always here. Like you say, Golden Wonder's with you. They were the new kid on the block.
And walkers had green packets for cheese and onion, just like Golden Wonder did. I don't know. First, I'm sure. I don't know.
Anyway, Gary Linneker goes on to say this. By the way, for people in other countries who listen to this podcast, Gary Linneker is a football or soccer player who became a TV sports pundit and national treasure. Everyone loves Gary Linneker, doesn't they? He was famous for being a footballer and then he was famous for crisp adverts.
And now he's famous for calling wankers out on Twitter, isn't it? Right. He says this. Oh, long, long, long ago, he recalled.
I don't know. I thought it started over 25 years ago. I asked him why they made the switch. I think it might have been when Pepsi bought them.
So about 89ish. Gary said maybe. Ah, I don't know. It's all chimes with me.
This chimes with me. This chimes with me. It's true. Gary speaks the truth to power.
When I told him walkers didn't I ever happened. He was unequivocal. No, they don't. Everyone knows it happened.
Paul, can I ask you personally? Yeah. What do you remember? Walkers, Chris being the other way around the car.
Here's the thing. I don't remember at all. And there's one reason why. Our family was a big golden wonders, Chris was kind of family.
So I only ever knew the right way. Yeah, but there must have been a point where you made the switch because yeah, that switch is probably too late for me to question whether the club had been changed. So that's how I became aware of properly of walkers and play with the way they are now. It was too late.
They played their hand too late for this conspiracy. I am outraged. I'm with Linneker on this. I suppose I at this point I should say thank you to vice.com for letting us just read this and make content out of it.
But fuck me. This bell end is going to make a podcast based on crisps. You need to know that way. The original crisp podcast.
Absolutely. And we're the only one who have a scientific system whereby we rank crisps rationally and objectively with the League of Snacks. We care about it. We care about it.
We don't just care because you had a pub conversation one day and you thought, Oh, is walkers blue and not green or not blue? Did he sound like that? You know what I mean? I don't know.
It doesn't matter. Paul, whilst we're on this subject, could I just say a little something about the League of Snacking crisps? Go on. I've noticed that Mr Biffo has been doing some crisp tasting on his channel and he has come up with something which I think is a very, very clever and innovative way to rate crisps that we didn't think of.
And that is accuracy. I.e. How much does the crisp taste like the ingredient it's supposed to be representing in its flavor? Can we can we nick that please?
Yeah. We're going to nick it right now. Right. We're going to nick it right now.
And also, I'm going to when the next bit before is going to go on his laptop and delete that video. Then I'm going to take us talking about accuracy and add it to episode 14 or something. Oh, wreck on the past, drop it in, reevaluate people's memory of our podcast. And then it'll be us.
And then everyone will say Biffo ripped us off. Not whilst ripping him off. Yeah. So Biffo, if you're listening to that, what I'm going to do, I'm going to come to your house and then I'm going to delete your videos.
And then I'm going to edit my podcast to put references that we'll record now into much earlier episodes. And you know what? Do you know what? I'll do it because I'm in lockdown and got fucking nothing else to do but that.
But Paul, in all seriousness, we should try and co-opt. Accuracy is a good call. Yeah. I was a bit angry actually when I noticed that I was like, that's fucking good.
You know, our innovation has been nostalgia value, but accuracy is also very good. So it would just add, I think we should go through the Chris we've racked already and add an accuracy score. Yeah, we'll have to. Yeah.
Yeah, we're going to have to. So I have to revise that at some point. So there's content. Excellent work.
Right. Here we go. The article continues aside from the weakness of the face of Walker's contravene in the corporate line. Gary's suggestion to Google it doesn't help much either.
The search engine doesn't offer any pitch evidence of the original color of Chris packets. Not one old photograph of some 80s kid in prescription aviators clutching a bag of Walker's green cheese and onion. No ancient blue salt and vinegar packets knocking about an eBay. Not a single retro walkers ad on YouTube that betrays a color inverted past.
But could this be hypothetically at least be due to the third time able to be deliberately wiped? How certain can you be that Google isn't in on the pocket in the pocket of Big Crisp? Read it. I want to hear the whole thing, please.
So he talks about how Google could be in the pocket of that. And that's just a waste. I honestly think that's a waste of me reading it out because it's him filling a word count, I think. Okay, fine.
Bloody hell. Spokes with Google as quick to pull water on our invocation. Our search results are a reflection of what's on the internet. We're moving results on the very limited circumstances, such as when requested by law.
So they can't just go in there and change history for shits and giggles. There's a Scottish football cycle, pai and bawl.com. I swear, I'll do a scratch accent. I swear that they were the other way alone when I was a ween says use a big fat tabby Dave.
Wow, blue, too 87 this person. I can even trust that member. He's name or yeah, there are assessments that have been popping around the world. A shopkeeper who's been selling Walkers over 20 years from his off license in Brixton.
I definitely know that the colors have changed. The green packers always been cheesing on you. It's like these recollections. All the popular belief is crushed on the foot on the walkers.
F-A-Q. And then it mentions the Berenstein, Beren Steinberg, the Mandela effect, which is Otter Wank. It's just wank. Do you know what I'm talking about that for a bit?
Can I just say I've also recognised the Mandela effect as being wank and the Berenstein bears thing is being wank. But this is the first thing where I'm on the other side of a looking glass on this one now. You know what I mean? I remember they made the switch in 89.
I remember they did. I remember it. Alright, well, let's see where the article goes. Okay.
Conspiracy theory aside, there's a specific walkers advert that multiple people I speak to remember in startling detail in which football teams swap blue and green shirts to mark the packet switching colors. Ah. There was one which was switched from a call to Malcolm Green, the ad man who made the first Gary Linnock at Walkers Commercial and the other Walkers Commercial campaigns in the 90s. I can't remember.
Yeah, I think the flavors were switched. Everyone knew that green was cheesy and blue was something I guess. I think we kind of switched the colors and it's all about that. But I just can't remember.
It's all so long ago. Hmm. He's suspicious. Why is he called it Mr.
Green? Yeah. Oh, mate. Why is he called Mr.
Green? Do you think some of these people that talking to are like just like this information people like they want to keep the mystery there because it keeps people talking about walkers. Yeah. So it's like we will play your favorite under the American dollar to talk about the switch and the confiscate defects.
Why are they Russian though? Because it's a Russian conspiracy, mate, wake up. And why are they only offering $500? I'd laugh.
I wouldn't believe that they were really Russians. Well, we're gonna now talk about negotiation, my friend. Okay, I want 500,000. Yeah, it's only Christmas made fuck off.
Right. Okay. So the advert rings a bell for Larry Vina who heads up the advertising archives. Alarm bells, he says, because I regularly get emails and people asking me very specifically about this thing.
And I've never been able to track down an advert that confirms the urban myth that it's still circulating. Which doesn't mean it didn't happen. Or that it doesn't exist, but I've not been able to track it down. Wow.
And then when the aspepsy coat spokesperson who overlays who walkers, they said, no, we've always done blue packets for the season on and something avoiding green in 2014. A UG of service found that 48% of the UK respondents thought salted vinegar packets should be blue and 32% green. The cheese and onion, the results were 44% the green, 30% the blue and 10% the yellow who fucking voting yellow. What cheese and onion?