Yo, yo, yo, what's up guys people may I'm OJ will this is inspire guys people where we balance faith and business to guide you to your purpose And I got a co-host on today. She's been here several times. So you early what up. Let's all your early what up?
What's going on? How you feeling man? I'm tired. Listen, I'm not even gonna hold you up.
Yeah girl is tired. I've been running But I'm ready. Let's go. I'm ready for the conversation All right Yeah, so like first of all this conversation just for anybody out there You know, this is kind of a piggyback of a few weeks ago I was speaking and I did a show and I spoke at church It was a message and LaToya hit me with a with a question like you hit me with the question via text, right?
I did so she takes me a question and me, you know, and typical inspire guys people Let's make a podcast out of the fashion. I'm like, oh, we gotta say that for the podcast So I've never actually given you the answer. Let's question. I asked the question y'all I had a couple weeks ago I'm like, when am I getting the answer?
He like oh, we gonna talk about this over so really? It was a good it was a good month ago. I'm not even going front. It was a good month ago And I was like yo, let's let's talk about it on the show month Not only on the real only because I feel like, you know, that's really what we do on here anyway It's had conversations and I'm like, you know what?
Maybe you gonna challenge me about something I said Maybe we gonna have some back and forth Maybe we gonna gree whatever it is I think it's gonna be good for people to hear and I think this is stuff that people are thinking through all the time as a Part of the question is what did I say? You remember what I said or paraphrase? Let me say you were talking about not giving up and you almost there something like that And I'm like, well, how do you know if you're almost there and then I had to wait five weeks to answer? Well, look, yes, that was you know, if you almost there what I said was you know being almost there is really the hardest place you could be you know, I'm saying and It's a weird place to be because whenever you're almost somewhere You have given like the most energy you already tired and I believe that's where most people quit when they're almost there and your question was like, okay Cool, that sounds great.
You know, you saying that if yeah, don't give up if you almost there or whatever whatever How do you know if you almost there? So that's what we gonna start this conversation off at today. How do I actually know if I'm almost there? The way I view it is like this.
It's like almost is where work has taken place. You feel what I'm saying? So to me, that's the very first thing is like has work taken place like are you tired? Have you put in some effort and some energy or your knees?
You know I'm saying your arms scraped up the very first thing to me is like let's take the literal out of there, right? Because almost in and of itself is a little vague mm-hmm But some people are quitting and they'll got no bumps. They ain't got no bruises. They're not tired.
You just lazy Okay, it's a difference between being tired and being tired of all right when you are tired That means that you are actually physically you have exerted energy you've given something when you are tired of it Just means that you ran out of wheel like you don't have no more wheel power to actually keep going So when I say that like when you are almost somewhere it is very Hard and tough and that's where I believe the devil really likes to meet people is when they're almost somewhere What I'm saying is the devil likes to meet you when you're tired of you get what I'm saying So how do I know that I'm almost somewhere or almost there? Whatever it is you tired of it yet? That's my first thing so I'm not gonna yet, but I'm a pause there and gee let you you know I'm saying get some feedback What you think? So real quick?
No, I'm listening real quick out as I was as you were talking I went and looked up the definition of almost what does that mean? You know like you said almost mean did you put in some sort of work that there's some work shown you got some sort of Attraction some sort of skin in the game. So almost being not quite or very near right your question now is are you tired yet? So Now we need to kind of figure out some identifiers, right?
So for anybody out there you're like listen I heard J's message a couple weeks back talking about don't don't give up when you're almost there now the question is How do you know you're almost there? One of the questions that we're trying to figure out are identified whether or not you're almost there is if you're tired the question with whether or not you're tired I want to know J before I answer that what how do you define being tired? You're saying tired of meaning? I just have no real power.
This I'm just exhausted versus tired like you know what this taking too long Yeah, so I actually think that both of those can be signs of almost being there But it's up to us to be able to identify which one am I in this moment? Now? I use an example for you you married I'm married I look you know us we know y'all We're all might not know all our business and neither should they but most married people have been at a place at some point if you've been married Over 10 15 years. Let's just say 10 years.
You've been married over 10 years You have experienced either tired or tired of yeah, and you have had to ask yourself all right Let me take a step back What does this mean and what I mean in particular is that there are times in my own marriage where let's just say my wife was tired Of me like tired of something about me like all right, you know what? I don't like that you talk like this or I don't like your response to this So there are times that she's been tired of it and we've had to kind of like come back to the table talk some things out Okay, I won't do this anymore. I'll work on this. I'll change this my point is this It is a difference for her to be able to recognize before you just in your marriage Am I tired or am I just tired of?
Independent what the answer to the question is then that helps you to start thinking through how to solve it Because if you tired of me talking a certain type of way then now we need to kick it and be like alright I don't like your responses to this. I'm tired of that. I'm physically tired. I'm just tired of that now Let's just real quick on the other end.
Let's say you in a marriage and this ain't marriage advice You know I'm saying this is just me talking anybody who married know that these type of things happen on the real Let's say you in a marriage and you like okay, this isn't tired of I'm actually tired Mm-hmm, and when you are physically like tired and let's say you tired and then in an enemy That's when he gonna bring something else. He's gonna try to tempt you or do something You got to be able to step back and recognize all right. I'm tired It's like an athlete I've been in this game for 48 minutes. It's over time.
I'm sweating. I'm thirsty I'm tired. This doesn't mean quit the game, but I might need to call the time out and drink some water So I think what I'm saying is that Tired of or just tired can both be reflective of you almost there or you put in some work But the reason you need to be able to identify the difference between the two is because that's what's gonna help you Understand what what do I need to do about? Do I need to quit or do I need to improve something?
Yeah, I think that also now that we're talking through the differences between the tired of I also think that Knowing what almost there looks like right and I'm gonna use your example of marriage, right? I'm almost to what what's the goal? What's my my destination? What's my because my goal is to die with this person?
My goal is to live for the rest of my life with this person, right? I'm not almost there like that's that's far far far far here, right? But I'm saying that to say because now that we are like I said We're talking this out We have to now identify what is almost there because once you've identified what almost there looks like or what you desire almost there to be It'll help me determine whether that I'm tired or whether I'm tired of right if I'm if I don't know what almost there I don't know if the goal is or what I'm working towards or what the overall result that I'm searching or seeking after if that's not clear to me Then I'm just I'm tired because I don't know there's no indicators showing me, you know that that almost there is is visual It's there little way. Okay.
I see the the the crumbs I see stuff falling in place, but if I don't know what I'm looking for how do I know? Yeah, and that into that point that's why I'm a fan of having goals, you know I would say we quoted all the time right the vision make it plain and the whole thing is the make it playing part has always stuck out to me It's some of us got visions in our head in our mind Some of us have spoken to vision and we didn't told other people but it ain't playing yet Meaning it's not clear where you're even trying to go. So to your point. It's also different levels to goals So one of my goals might be where is for me and my situation, but maybe for you or you know If you were out there, maybe one of your goals is I want to grow old with someone right meaning when we say grow old We don't really mean go from 20 to 25.
We don't mean oh dirt. We typically mean I want to grow old with this person Meaning I want to go through decades after decade and we gonna go through all of these life experiences with each other But to your point to it, that's not a goal that I can accomplish today. That goal happens over time So what's my point in order to make the vision plain you need another goal and like the problem might simply be for some of us We don't know what almost there looks like because the only goal we got is some far out dream or fantasy of being living into 95 and being married for 60 years That's not a good enough goal not to live on day to day. So you're saying that in order to accurately I Guess pinpoint what almost there looks like milestones have to be set in place I love it right so like you said and I love that you just made I love that you just said that we look at the big picture Like the house on the hill white pick a fence dog all that good stuff That's that's the the the end all to be all right, but what about you?
I don't want to talk You don't want to start that conversation with me, okay, because that is definitely one of the worst decisions that I've made But anyway anyway, so no that makes so much sense though. So it's not necessarily a Bad thing you just need to sit down and identify those milestones So what have you done in your life? We have you done your marriage? We haven't done your career that shows if you're moving progressively towards the overall goal if you're not marking or making those marks Then you'll feel like almost is never or almost a second too long or what's the saying almost doesn't count because it's taking me too long To get to where I'm trying to get to that's exactly it and you know You now you're taking me to career, right?
When I was coming out of college and trying to choose an organization to work for the biggest thing for me I was asking every organization I interview with what is like the career ladder potential like where can I go from here? Now somebody might ask why are you asking on day one where you can end up and the reason for that is first you I You identify where you want to end up so you can actually create a path to get there And so actually both like the more we talking through it both the milestones in the broader goal are important You need the goal of I want to grow old and be married to someone and grow old That might just be your goal and you to get married in another so and then the milestones are what you script out Once you're married to someone and say how are we gonna get there? And that's what I went through in my career if I say hey, I want to be a senior director I want to be an executive one day Well, as a part of career growth and development You should also be having you know conversations quarterly and annually with your boss So make sure you take the like advantage of the right next job to position you for the next job To position you for the next job to give you the skillset that you need to get to your ultimate goal And along the way you celebrate each milestone to your point. So that's good.
That's real good So I'm thinking okay, let's let's use what you just said about your career, right? So One of the things and this is I'm the type of if you guys don't know by now I need practical steps, right? And so of course being a coach, this is this is how my brain works For those of you who are trying to figure out what this almost there looks like, right? Number one, of course, I didn't find the major goal number two something that's something that's said was Who do I need to connect with that is in the area of or in the direction of where I'm trying to go How many of those people do you need to contact this month, right?
This is good. I'm hoping your boy is watching this because I've been on the Thing about this. So this is what I'm doing. Here goes step number one, right?
How many people do I need to contact? And then that's a milestone. So if you say okay this month, I'm gonna talk to Five executives just to hear their perspective their point of view gets them into on whatever case may be you talked to those five Now you hit a milestone. Now you check a smaller goal off to get to the bigger though I think that again talking this out and when I asked the question y'all when jay was teaching I was in a place where I legit wanted to answer like What does almost look like because your girl been on this hamster wheel for a very long time What does this look like and I'll be honest?
I have a big goal, right? And I've shared a goal with with the listeners. I've shared it a hundred times before and it's kind of like okay Let's wait you have that big though But what about the the steps that you've taken towards that bigger goal? Are you even recognizing those things are you acknowledging those things are you celebrating those things and I think that that's one Problem that most of us have is that we're so busy looking at the bigger goal We don't take time to celebrate right and I'm not too much separate You know go out and buy you something big, you know, not that type of celebratory moment But taking a moment of just saying dang t you be at this dang you have this in place You've been able to accomplish this or jay or whoever's listening So I think that for those of you who are listening if you were in the same spot that I was in a couple weeks ago Where you're like what does almost look like?
I think we've given you maybe three steps so far number one identifying that that large goal What are we working towards number two? Identifying some milestones and then sitting down and writing out what those milestones look like and not Don't just um, you know, don't don't think something is too small. That's something too. Like they said, you know He was getting on the phone meeting with different people, you know, we may think that's not big enough That's not good enough.
That's not gonna change nothing But those are the smaller steps to get us at a bigger goal. This is it everything matters like just like just like just like Like hear me on this every single thing matters And so you called out a couple important things one of the biggest issues with people is that we are so caught up in the big Goal that we're going after and a lot of times that's impacted by seeing other people and how they're posting on social media And what they have that we are overlooking the small steps in the small milestones that actually give us what we need to be prepared for the bigger thing So it's like we're overlooking stuff that we should actually be celebrating And the reason that we overlook those milestones is because we keep downplaying We're not really downplaying ourselves. We really downplaying God and what we saying is like, all right, God I know you got me from level one to level two and level two to level three But I'm still not at level 10 So like I can't even praise you and thank you and give you the glory for level three right now But we need to be comfortable with and this is why milestones are important You need to get comfortable with appreciating the level that you're at But don't get comfortable with the level you at So like don't get comfortable at the level but get comfortable appreciating everything that the level is providing you And then what ends up happening is that almost gets easier When you can count up some milestones and stack up some milestone wins Because at the end of the day those milestones are preparing you for the bigger picture And if you continue to downplay the milestone Then that's when you're not only going to get tired, but you're going to get tired of So you talk about being on a hamster wheel The hamster wheel might make you tired. That's cool because you have endurance So the thing about being tired is you can't overcome it just with all right endurance mindset all of those things But being tired of I'm gonna be real.
I actually think I'm man. I'm just thinking this out I think being tired of is worse than being tired Okay, I think I think I can see why you say that but let's talk through it all right So when I think about being tired and let's just think about something like exercising, right You know, I can start working out today and I can do, you know, let's say I did two miles on my spin bike Right and if today is my day one on the spin bike I can get tired two and a half minutes into it because it's like I never been on this before right? But here's the crazy thing about being tired the more you continue to do an activity consistently Then you start being like, oh, I used to get tired at two minutes Now I'm at seven minutes and I ain't even tired yet and I'm doing I'm going faster for a 10 minute ride Then you do that long enough you can continue to overcome being tired That's why when people work out they get stronger. They get a better say you look better.
You feel better Being tired of is totally different when you are tired of something you about to quit Like you're about to be done with it. If if I was tired of riding a bike That means I'm not even tired physically But there is something a stronger force in me that's making me say I'm tired of means I no longer want to engage in it You feel what I'm saying? That's all tired of means that bill just me. I just spoke truth like Indeed it is.
No, thanks. Um, I'm writing notes over here because when you when you just share about being tired When you're tired, you're able to build endurance, right? So like you said, I'm working out Running whatever case may be I'm tired, but if I keep running I'm building endurance so I can run a little longer, right? But when I'm tired of when I'm tired of doing this that means I can't see my way out I can't see a silver line.
I can't see you know the bigger goal So and you're right when you get to the I'm tired of then that's when you're on the verge of quitting And it's really difficult for someone to um be able to pull you out of that because you're close-minded at this time by this point So as a matter of fact, that's dangerous, right? That's dangerous It's dangerous allowing yourself to get to a place where you're so tired of something that you can't even see how to fix it How to resolve it how to push through how to push fast so for my business owner entrepreneurs those who are Um pursuing, you know next level in your career, you can't get tired of it, right? Because like they just talked about everything matters and so when you start feeling tired, you got to stop Rest because rest is something that we just think that we only supposed to do at night Stop rest allow yourself to you know, pull yourself back together so that you can get back on it and keep moving and keep going Even if you stop think about it. I talk about this all the time.
I used to I love running now your girl came running for a long time But I love running right and do you I love it. I don't know I hate it whole another story but um I can't think about the times where I would get out there and I would start jogging And then the moment I started getting tired, I would stop right I stopped I'll come home But tomorrow I was able to run a little longer And then the next day I was able to run a little longer because I gave my body the opportunity to rest Rejuvenate and get back out there. So I think that's a big deal too You know, not only sitting down and identifying the goals the milestones sitting down and writing out what that looks like But being okay to stop and rest so that you can regain the energy that you need to get back up and keep going That's facts. Um And I want to say something else real quick too You know being tired of can work the other way it could work for you Because when I think about when my credit was messed up, I got tired having that credit So if we're gonna be tired of we just got to make sure we tired of the right thing And I think so many times we don't know how to really identify and you know make the difference between You know, what should I be tired of when should I quit when should I keep going?
And because we haven't sat down and actually written a vision and made it plain We don't know the difference between what success looks like and what failure looks like And so me that's ultimately what we're talking about here is what success looks like Now you talked about something else that's important which is rest Again being tired can be overcome Part of how you overcome being tired is by resting sometimes So you just got to know your body you got to know your endurance your temperament When do I rest whatever? But here's what I want to say even about rest all the things that we're talking about have ballast because even with rest This is why there are times when whenever i'm sleeping a lot and i'm not getting more energy I know that that's not rest that's laziness So when i'm tired and I sleep I get out rejuvenated because that was rest that was earned like that was rest that was needed But whenever I actually become lethargic it doesn't produce more energy Rest actually produces energy laziness drains energy and there's a lot of us that thinks we're tired of something and we really just lazy It's really just bro that you need to get up and get through those first few workouts So that you can build up the energy and the endurance to overcome it But you tired of something because you lazy that's a whole different story. Yeah Um, you said something you started talking about tired of I wrote down tired of provokes change Right when you get to the place where you are i'm sick and tired of being sick and tired Yeah, it provokes change. It's like like you said crayden.
That's a perfect Uh example when you get to that point you like what do I need to do when you're tired of your tool place now where you like? Well, whatever it takes i'm willing to take go that measure so that I can see change So it's not really like you said the tired of can go for you or against you In your career and as a business owner as a mom as a wife as a husband when you get to that point and you're like, you know what? I'm tired of coming into this job every day pouring into this job or whatever you do further job yet I'm not getting the recognition or i'm not growing or i'm not okay So when you get to that point, what are you doing? What are you willing to do to pull back to reset?
What are you willing to do to say okay, you know what and i'm not saying just go out and quit because it's not the solution Just because you're a bork, you know, uh Instantly that doesn't mean that that solves a problem it really creates a whole another problem But what are you willing to do? Um when you're tired of something that's gonna provoke change and create a different result you said something else about rest right? I challenge everybody include myself because I struggle with this a lot being a mom Um, it's so funny. It's this thing going around on social media and i've talked to me about this before so it's not a terrible thing But i've talked about it's this thing going on on social media talking about being a single being a wife That's a single mom, right?
How I know that sounds crazy, right? Yeah crazy i've heard of it's your wife, but you still hold all the responsibilities of the children because the husband is working He's you know doing things so he isn't as hands-on with the kids as you know You will want this the husband to be right and so me and i talked about this before because when me was working at his job before Shoot even now he was working so many hours that i was getting kids at school getting the kids home Make sure to get dinner make sure they do homework, you know still doing all of those Um fulfilling all of those responsibilities and it got to a place where I was I was exhausted Right, especially as women we wear so many different hats with the wife with the mama with the nurture with the chef Where the maids where the girls are shopping some of us balance the checkbooks like there's so many things that we do where we Adapted this behavior as being a superwoman Right and then we get to a place where we become tired of because we ignore the time when we were tired And this is for me until I know what it is I can't speak from the perspective of a male so i'm sure jake and jump in but From my from my women you got to recognize those moments in your day where you're saying you're tired So rest doesn't necessarily mean go take a nap. Maybe you need to just sit down Maybe you need to just say you know what i'm not talking on the phone i'm not scrolling on social media I'm not you know nothing. I'm just gonna sit for a second for about 30 minutes and just stare out into the abyss Right those identifying what rest looks like for you is going to be super important and i'm saying this for me too So i'm not talking at y'all i'm really ministering to myself Um identifying what rest looks like and being okay with taking breaks So for my mom's my my parents who are working multiple jobs and taking care of kids We have to take time To step back and say you know what i'm gonna take my sunday my monday my thursday whatever they work for you and i'm going to rest Which means do nothing not necessarily sleep but to find some time to just allow yourself to just fall back Yeah, and look i'm not gonna speak on the one in perspective for two reasons.
Um, i'm a man number one And number two like That's not my we don't have children so our family makeup doesn't look like that And so i can't speak on that from experience So i don't i don't want to jump jump into something i can't i can't speak from a man's perspective And i guess the first thing i will say is kind of what i just said is like what you just outlined was very reflective of your household My household looks really different. I'm the type of person that in all scenarios I try to properly assess stereotypes And sometimes stereotypes are so true that we actually adopt them as reality for everyone The best example i have is like things like you know racism or white and black or Experienced with police officers or whatever it is right where let's just say if we took somebody that was like I've had this happen to me before like i'm walking somewhere in a white woman like grab her purse Like it's like, you know very obvious that you know that i mean that happens a lot That's not something that even it's like that's just i'm where so just laugh or i've been walking in parking lots and just hear the doors like You know now there's two ways for me to look at that number one hey That's a woman i'm a man walking through the cars you don't know where my car is at I ain't gonna get too mad because i feel like you know what you probably just should have had your doors locked from the start What makes it awkward or you probably should have just been grabbing your purse from the start not because i'm specifically going to steal it But because somebody might steal it right My my point at the end of the day is that I know that sometimes when people see me They might see a stereotype for good or for bad and so I assess stereotypes. I try to assess them objectively So these ideas sometimes i float around social media or things about like what you just described as a mother For a family father whatever it is Like that's probably reality for a lot of people Like you say y'all have had to talk about it Then I could look at it from a whole different lens and say well, you know as a man if i'm being real Okay, my family structure we don't have kids But when it came down to like when we were gonna get our credit together that was me I sat down with my wife. I scripted out the strategy the finances.
I decided well banks We gonna go to I decided how we gonna invest so like hey I'm good at that so a lot of times I hear women say you know They better with the money than the man but they create that as a reality or you know You go make a Instagram real about how women are better with money than me But it's like that might just be your anecdotal experience because at the end of the day There may be another couple out there. That's the opposite right and so I guess my point is as a man if i'm being real now, let me get to the point the superman Now you describe the superwoman and I think that society I actually think we do a pretty good job of appreciating Maybe the single mom and maybe that's the problem is that the mary mom doesn't feel like she's getting The recognition that the single mom does I think that's more reflective of the moral compass of society Overlooking you just because mary and they saying oh well you got you got a husband at home So you clearly can't have the problems that we have it's almost like the privilege conversation It's like marriage is almost like a privilege because you got a man home He's bringing income income he comes to see his kids So I think we got to be careful on all fronts, but what I will say from a superman perspective I could speak to and say man I work a corporate job. I've led the strategy for finances and investments in my household I cut the grass like um I watched the cars or go get them washed or whatever my point is that I think What I really would like to see us start thinking about as it relates to that is In each of our roles if we are super Then both of us will have moments of being tired It'll be important to get the rest and get the and get the other person to substitute You take the kids today, uh, maybe not you cut the grass today Uh, but maybe I'm not gonna do you know, I'm not gonna do the laundry today Right because my wife does a lot of you know, she manages our home So my point at the end of the day is like I think it's more about Being comfortable with your how you are living out God's Wheel for husband and wife because that's the beginning of it You are in God's wheel and that traditional merit structure Everything you need is there. It's just about how you divvy it up And I'm sorry.
I know I went a little alone with that, but it's like it's such a loaded point I guess that it just makes me, you know, kind of like going to so many nuances some other I mean No, no, no, I appreciate it because here's the thing I love that you just said We've we've come so that whole stereotype, you know, the man is supposed to do this the woman is supposed to do this and in my house We all live here. We're all going to contribute the kids too. Okay, it's funny because my mother come over and she'd be so mad Because I make her to watch dishes, right? She's like he should not be watching this.
I'm like, well, who's supposed to watch them? This is you should be doing like I know I'm exactly right. Okay. Well, can he go work?
Can he go bring home some money like we gotta share these responsibilities? But I'm saying that because like you just said, you know, we've gotten to this place where you know the man should do this The woman should do this and we have to be okay with our role. We have to be okay with what we're good at I'm okay with catering to my boys and to my husband like that's that's something that I enjoy doing But once again as we talked about in the beginning that almost, you know, what's the goal? What is my goal with being that that wife and that mother to my family so that I could start number one identify my stones And I'm glad that we're talking about this because it is really helping me see it even in the kids and in my husband as well But now saying okay once those milestones once you start seeing those things start celebrating them pull back and allow yourself to rest Allow yourself to say you know what that's not gonna get done today Allow yourself to say you know what we just not gonna do anything and be okay with that and not be so wrapped up in trying to fit The standard okay, well, they say that you're supposed to do it this way They say that you're supposed to do it that way My point to you know the whole wives being single moms.
It was such a it was it's one of those things where You don't know other women think or feel that way, right? So to have something like that share openly It was like oh wow, there are other women that feel that way But to your point they're men who are like well, I do a BCDEMG and no but but because you're the man it's like oh That's what he's overlooked. It's overlooked and my thing with society today is you know, be careful what you celebrate So and what I mean by that is we overly celebrate whatever you celebrate is what people are going to want to be come When Michael Jordan was in NBA, he had commercials. He had shoes, you know, um, you know, these rappers they got cars They got trophies.
They got things they got people and fans screaming after him. That's why every kid What do every kid want to be now? I'm gonna see throw you on the spot because you got three kids I know at least one of them want to be to you tell me what now what is the modern day thing that kids want to be? Oh a youtuber there you go and thank you a youtuber So that's exactly the answer I was looking for the question we got to ask ourselves is why do kids want to be youtuber?
Is because it look at how we celebrate youtubers Sif was just telling me the other day like oh, yes some of these youtubers because we saw an old video of LeBron James and Amal and fans following him around she was like, oh like yeah youtubers nowadays Influencers they get that tree if an influencer coming your city people do that. So what's my point? Be careful what you celebrate because whatever you celebrate people will want to become now I'm saying is this gonna sound you got to hear what I'm saying where it's gonna sound crazy We celebrate single mind so much It's especially in impoverished communities because part of the part of the process of how that community stays that way Is that the father is out of the household. So it's a cycle part of the cycle is no father, you know, no stability No structure no discipline for the kids Um, and so this creates this cycle of poverty and then what has happened is because the father hasn't been there the women rightfully So much love to them have stepped up into the role of both parents now.
Here's the trouble We have overly celebrated it in in a way that that's what people want to be So we have celebrated it in a way that people just be keep becoming it like we've made it the thing to be and It doesn't mean that we shouldn't celebrate the women that have done that But it means that we also need to balance out and celebrate these husbands who are out hunting because what I would ask people is What's more important to fish for the fry? Or like if I'm out if I'm out hunting and I'm getting the food And I'm fishing and I bring you home 25 fish to fry But then we only celebrate you for frying a fish and overlook the hunter Then it's gonna keep this cycle continually going where people are overlooking the um The part of the man the contribution of a man any importance of having that man and saying to a woman You know what gremma. Thank you so much for taking up that role of single woman. You desire you deserve your flowers But also thank you for teaching us that we shouldn't copy and paste that Even glorifying though the woman who goes out and catches the 25 fish and bring home and fry them up It's that listen this whole conversation can definitely be unpacking so many different ways Um, and I definitely didn't mean to take it left But as we were talking about, you know Striving for that goal and what that looks like mentally physically being tired being tired of something Um, whether or not you're pursuing your corporate career with and not your building your business whatever it is that you're doing Identifying what does your journey look like and not?
Not necessarily comparing it to somebody else. I love that jay was like listen my house I don't look like that it'd be funny man me and me always cracking on tip and jay like y'all over there living a life I know Man, I know it's funny But you know and I'm saying that because just like my life is different jay life is different The listeners lives are different and it's okay If if you're striving for something get up keep striving for it, but don't be afraid to acknowledge where you are Real quick super transparent moment, but this just check me something so good when you were talking about I'm looking at the bigger goal. Um, it's so funny the house that we you know, we bought or whatever I'm like, okay, cool. We bought our first house was next that like says can you daughter?
Can you enjoy what you have now? Okay, you know, we did this now was next and so that was a moment A check for me because it's like be grateful sit in the seat that you're in standing the spot that you're in right now and be grateful Where you are? Acknowledges see what you can learn see where you are see what you can get from this and then when the proper time comes Then you can move forward to the next and to that point what we really should be doing Because when when we are not appreciating this point of the process where we at we are also not getting what we were supposed to get So my point with that is There's something that god wants to you to grow in or accomplish right where you at right now And if you don't get the lesson you're not going to be ready for the blessing You know, I'm saying I just did that on purpose to be charging. I'm just be real Um, but if you don't get the lesson you're not going to be ready for what god wants for you So my point is I you know, I was saying this during the pandemic anybody who was listening to the show Don't leave the pandemic empty handed.
Don't leave the pandemic empty headed if you look at the pandemic The pandemic has actually been different phases and we're still not completely out of the overall impact and result of the pandemic Because now we're in a recession and this is like a global recession, which is a little different than what we experienced back in 2008 With the housing market crash. So now you got the whole world having macroeconomic issues at the exact same time That is affecting us in ways that a lot of us don't understand and what's my point? My point is if you understand where you are in the process You can accomplish everything you need to and when we come out of it, you will be better for it So making it specific in a situation in the situation we're in right now with the world and the economy and uncertainty I'm always looking at investing and I'm always looking at all right both investing in myself my career But like what can I do in this time? So if I look at this podcast before the pandemic I wasn't doing interviews yet Or I'd only done a couple in person pandemic came I've done maybe 25 interviews over the phone Right at then as we entered out of that stage of the awkwardness of covid part of the pandemic Then I said, you know what we need to be ready for video And so I'm not where I want to be yet But I'm taking everything I can in in this video youtube portion and I'm planning for the next phase My only point with all of this is whether it be your family and your mayor is like we talked about Whether it be your career or whether it be your job Job career same thing.
I'm an entrepreneurship your business not your job You need to have a plan and you need to understand that there is going to come a point That you either get tired or you get tired of but if you quit almost won't come almost being there Only counts if you keep going if you quit all of your almost all of your blood sweat and tears go out the window That's good. I wrote I just I'm writing down purpose Identify what the purpose is Plan it. How are you going to? How are you going to walk through or how are you going to access or live out this purpose process?
This is where they talking about the tired and tired of we don't know how long the process gonna take That's the part that everything if you think about it, you know when you think about a childbirth or um, I don't know Getting your credit together buying a house all of these things the process has some sort of date at the end Right. I know that if I do these things continuously for at least six months I can raise my credit score 30 40 50 points, right? I know that at the end of nine and a half months a baby will come out I know that if I drive from here to you know and so when it comes to um things that you can't tangibly put a Date on right where you can't see especially for my business owners. It's like, okay.
Well, we don't have a arrival date We don't we can't see like okay. I know that if I do this for 10 years It's not even about enduring the process for 10 years No, you have to endure the process of the business of the marriage of the climbing the corporate ladder And what that process includes you have to be ready for you got to be ready for those moments that you just may be tired and be okay With the resting so that you don't get tired of it and abort it because like jay said you give up before it You can be right there, but because we don't have that time stamp You didn't gave up and you could have been where you've been imagining yourself this whole entire time So purpose plan process promise I couldn't help it listen and when you can't put a date on it I'm getting church of y'all put your faith on it What was that post that you made the other day? I'm like I can't even Oh, yeah, I said something like the the acronym for God opens doors is g o d if that don't bless you you unblestable I can get this where people don't understand I'll be telling it if I got churchy Like I'm telling you all like if I actually got like if I wanted to be churchy I blow up because that's what people want people like churchy, you know I'm saying But when you can't put the date on it put your faith on and I let me let me get this churchy messes up so we can wrap this up The problem with us is what you just said to a we need a date We want to see all right yeah now unless this that that I all right Yeah, if I do this for this long down and up problem with all of that is that God wants to test your faith at times He wants to take you outside of the box of you know exactly what's gonna happen And I'm telling you this though about faith the crazy thing about it I tell people all the time direction is far more important than speed. I'm at a point in my life toy And I hit a wall this year.
I talked about it on the show. I have my ups and downs I needed some rest right all of the things we talking about today are things we've experienced ourselves and that's why we are so Passionate about it But I'm telling you this like the thing that's crazy about it Is when you get rest and get that second win and you can keep going you become more dangerous than you was the first time So it's like by not quitting when I hit my wall this year now. I'm like, oh, I feel see I be feeling faith That's the crazy thing about it faith becomes tangible when you endure towards a beyond a certain point and it's like right now I'm like, oh, I feel it. Oh, I don't know what I don't know when but oh, I feel it why because I know I'm going in this direction I know that I've been faithful to the plan to the strategy So what God has called me to do and when you can't answer yes to those type of questions You just like, whoa, it's just a matter of time my almost and this is what I say and I utilize work My almost is going to come and so the reason that I don't quit the thing that keeps me going even if I get tired Okay, cool.
I'm tired. I need to adapt evolve getting during whatever I got to do rest But I'm not going quit. I'm telling you because of the quality of work that I've put in for 10 to 12 years now I'm talking I'm now starting to talk in decades when I can say all right I just gave this 10 years or something and so you can't just look at one little result that somebody has one piece of fruit And understand all the roots and every seed that was planted I planted so many seeds I've laid so many roots that it's like if I quit right now Like I have too much to lose even in my faith even I've planted too many good seeds not to keep going and watch them grow And so for me, it's like oh no this almost is going to come because I'm going to keep going But if I quit and give up then now I'm saying the last 10 to 12 years of my life all the effort I need to answer to that Jermaine. I need to answer to him.
Yo, why didn't you keep going when I started? I'm rolling my eyes at you. So for those of you who are listening to this, I am rolling my eyes at him And I'm saying that because those seeds man, it takes me back to it's not about you I mean once you and that's a hard concept to live by that what you do the the goal that you're striving for It's not even about you. You're putting that place to go after the goal But it's really for the people who are watching you believe in that they can't reach their goal And so when you sit back and you think man If I give up on this pursuit if I give up on this journey and girl they're rocking I would taste great university for 10 years, okay If I give up now all of the seeds that I planted could wither and die Really and i'm i'm gonna take it further.
Oh, I gotta say this before we go Here's the deeper part Sometimes the seeds that you've planted are so important that they're not going to die just because you quit God is just gonna give them to somebody else where somebody don't come in Let me tell you something Y'all know one of my favorite movies is the founder about the McDonald story and it's a lot of pros and cons to Dicych in that movie with ray crockin um how people might feel about him or he did some shady things But here's the one thing I will say Those McDonald brothers started that business so first thank you mcdonald's brothers even though you know Whatever, I don't talk good or bad about businesses too much So I just say thank you to the mcdonald brothers. I've had mcdonald's in my life Imagine the impact of their seed and their idea if these two brothers don't start a restaurant however many years ago that was You ain't eating a double cheeseburger You're not taking your key to getting nuggets today because they didn't just create the restaurant They created the process for fast food the whole idea of getting a burger and do it the whole system for fast food So just think about how important that cv is but let me take it a step further When they got tired of and they lost vision and weren't willing to keep it going Somebody else came in and took it and made it bigger than they ever could have So the thing with me is like this My almost is gonna count i'm gonna keep going because I refuse to let some let God use somebody else In my lifetime to take inspired guys people somewhere that I was tired of taking it Man because I all got I'm tired of this all you know I got what we have to 206 you two subscribers We we was in a hundred just you know a month or two ago whatever My point is I understand that I can't get tired of because it's bigger than me It's about who's going to experience their purpose years from now Just like you experiencing a four-piece nugget in a McChicken because somebody else had an idea years ago There are things that God is giving you right now sees that are being planted that is going to bless other people And if you look at the entire bible, that's how it was written. It was written with generations in mind So I do the last word and we get out here Listen last thought about this seed it takes almost 10 years for an apple tree to reach its maturity Right almost 10 years for an apple tree to reach its maturity Enough to produce apples so that other people can eat So for us to want to abort the mission, right? We're producing something that's going to feed the nation We're producing something and I'm not as my business.
I'm talking about my corporate I'm talking about wherever you are the seeds that you're planting will reap a harvest once that harvest reaches its mature It will then feed the nation. I'm done. I'm in with a scripture that I actually put a short clip out today from episode I think 171 where the scripture in Proverbs that that says a good man leaves and inheritance to his children's children Then the next scripture says the wealth of the wicked is laid up for the just What we always jump to is the wealth of the wicked is laid up for the just but we skip over what a good man does And what I like about that take the inheritance aside a good man leaves something that like that's all to take money aside Whether when we are called to when we are walking in our purpose The great commission is about making other disciples making disciples of more mean That is really what Jesus Christ came back after he was resurrected with one last word for the disciples in his resurrected form and said Go and make other disciples of other nations And so the point that I'm making is if a message is so important that Jesus when he came back Will actually come and preach it to his people in his circle And that was the last thing that he gave them the parting message was go and make more go and reproduce Then we have to understand the value of getting to where God has called us to go and is bigger than us man I may let y'all almost doesn't count. Maybe so keep going.
It does count if you keep going almost doesn't count if you That's only the time to count. Yeah, that's it. All right now. Let y'all