EP 18 - Identity Crisis: When your DNA test results surprise you (with Jennifer Hahn Wiseman)

We’ve all heard stories about ancestry tests revealing surprise relatives: adults who find out they have long lost siblings, mothers finding our their children were switched at birth, children learning that the fathers who raised them aren’t their biological fathers after all.  I never expected to have a story of my own - but that’s just what happened when I received a message from a woman claiming to be my first cousin in the fall of 2023. Our DNA test results showed a match on Ancestry.com. Her story surprised me just as much as her first message to me; we’ve been getting to know each other ever since.  In this episode, Jennifer and I talk about her difficult childhood, how she always suspected that the man who raised her might not be her biological father, her difficult relationship with her mother, and the rollercoaster of emotions a person goes through when they have to redefine their  biological identity. We also talk about our relationship journey, having found out about our biological connection as adults, mothers, and women with fully-established identities of our own.  To preserve the anonymity and comfort levels of others involved, we’ll be refraining from using names of our extended family members.  According to NPE Friends Fellowship, an NPE is “an event-designation on the family tree to flag a non-parental event (previously known as a Non-Paternal Event)” — when a presumed-to-be parent has been proven, through DNA testing, not to be an individual’s true biological parent. This episode is dropping in June, since it’s NPE awareness month.  Non-parental events can happen due to adoptions, non-consensual sex, donor conceptions, parents having multiple partners in close succession or affairs, medical errors, abductions, and more. In many cases, individuals who have been impacted by an NPE grew up with family secrets and lies, and are completely shocked when the evidence from an NPE is revealed to them. NPR Friends Fellowship estimates that 5-10% of our global population has been subjected to an NPE. The DNA Diagnostics Center shares that “Of all the possible fathers who take a paternity test, about 32% are not the biological father.” If  we take a second to realize that that number represents 1/3 of men who have a reason to take a paternity test — and not 1/3 of all men — this could mean that the true number of total NPEs in the world might be higher. If you have found out that you’ve been impacted by an NPE there are resources to help: NPE Friends Fellowship raises awareness by providing community and education for those affected by an NPE discovery.  You can find them at npefellowship.org DNA Diagnostics Center is considered a leader in DNA testing and other personalized diagnostics. You can find them at  dnacenter.com  or call them at 1-800-929-0847. More About Lisa Marie: To learn more about Lisa Marie, get more content, or schedule a one-on-one coaching session, visit her website at: www.lisamarieconnections.com or her contact page, at: www.lisamarieconnections.com/connect Follow her on Instagram: @lisamarieconnections AFTER THE EPISODE: Love the podcast? Please rate the show and leave a review! Know someone who would benefit from hearing this episode? Please consider sharing it with them! PLEASE NOTE: The "From Lemons to Limoncello" podcast and content posted by Lisa Marie DeSanto is presented solely for general informational, educational, and entertainment purposes. The use of information on this website, the podcast, linked to content, or from coaching sessions is at the user’s own risk. It is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional, diagnosis, or treatment. Users should not disregard or delay in obtaining medical advice for any medical or mental health condition they may have and should seek the assistance of their healthcare professionals for any such conditions.