Ep 18: The Fear of Being Seen | Tenille Janicki

In this episode, I sit down with Tenille Janicki for a conversation on people-pleasing, boundaries, emotional patterns, and the quiet ways women abandon themselves without even realising it.In this episode we talk about:Why people-pleasing often begins as a strategy for love and connectionHow childhood emotional patterns quietly shape adult relationshipsWhy boundaries can feel unnatural before they feel cleanThe fear of being seen and what sits underneath itWhat self-abandonment looks like in ordinary lifeWhy “holding space” is more than a trendy phraseThe difference between healing language and real embodimentHow emotional growth can disrupt family roles and old dynamicsThe emotional crossover between self-worth, discipline, and fitnessWhat bodybuilding taught Tenille about grief, standards, and identityThe deeper work she’s still doing around shame, authenticity, and self-respectTimestamps0:00 – Welcome to The Glow Up Economy0:23 – Emotional intelligence, boundaries, and real-life self-abandonment1:16 – The childhood blueprint: where love, connection, and people-pleasing begin2:26 – Family patterns, inherited behaviour, and abandoning yourself in small moments3:24 – The turning point: the last six months of deeper work4:04 – “You’re pleasing everyone else but yourself”4:31 – Abandonment wounds, fear, and saying yes to stay connected4:58 – Why saying no can feel wrong in the body5:50 – Rewiring patterns through reps, discomfort, and repetition6:17 – The emotional patterns Tenille sees most in her clients7:26 – Why the real issue is usually deeper than the presenting problem8:04 – The emotional home: the feelings people return to most8:54 – Why people know what to do but still avoid the work9:17 – Fear of looking inward and the fear of being known10:10 – Masks, shame, and the performance of being okay11:01 – Reparenting, self-love, and learning to give yourself what was missing11:41 – Why some people resist inner child work completely12:22 – Becoming “Tenille 2.0” and speaking to the younger version of yourself13:28 – The photo on the fridge: a daily reminder to come back to herself13:35 – “Holding space” and why the internet gets it wrong14:13 – What real emotional presence sounds like in conversation15:17 – Word salad, embodiment, and the gap between captions and reality16:17 – How to hold space without rushing to fix someone17:24 – One simple question that changes how people feel around you18:08 – A family dinner, emotional discomfort, and making someone else’s pain about you19:20 – Seeing both sides once you’ve done the work20:04 – What happens when you change and the people around you feel it21:18 – The five emotions that sit underneath so much of human behaviour22:21 – How Tenille shows up now compared to five years ago23:43 – Looking confident on the outside while feeling disconnected inside23:54 – Job-hopping, masks, victimhood, and relationship patterns24:42 – How self-worth started changing her fitness and daily standards25:25 – Why the inner work helps you stay, choose, and follow through26:08 – Her first bodybuilding prep and stepping onto the ICN stage27:12 – Losing 18 kilos and what prep demanded of her27:27 – The Woolies breakdown: eight weeks out and feeling the reality of prep27:56 – How she pushed through before fully understanding emotional work28:23 – Grief, loss, and using bodybuilding as a way through pain29:19 – The small moments that slowly changed the direction of her life29:56 – Why she’s stepping back into prep again this year30:54 – What she’s still working on now: people-pleasing, shame, and cleaner boundaries32:38 – Where to find Tenille32:54 – Closing thoughts and outro—————————————————————————To watch the show click HEREFollow Tenille Janicki → HERETo connect with Tuan Luu click HEREProduced by GlowOps MediaIf you want to be featured, collaborate, or step into this world →DM @itstuanluu or @glowopsmedia or @theglowupeconomy