EP 19 | Growing Up with an Alcoholic Parent: Healing Trauma, Anger, and The Caregiver Role

Send us Fan MailThis is a conversation I’ve wanted to have for a while.Not for shock value. Not to make it dramatic. Just because it’s real.I’m sitting down with Pete, and we’re talking about what it’s actually like to grow up with an alcoholic parent.What that does to your nervous system. To your relationships. To the way you interpret conflict and safety and control.Pete describes his home growing up as “chaos.” And you can feel what he means by that. It didn’t start extreme. It started subtle. “One or two drinks a night.” Until it wasn’t subtle anymore.We talk about what it’s like watching a progressive disease unfold in someone who raised you. The confusion. The anger. The gaslighting. The moment where you realize you might have to start parenting your parent.Pete shares how he channeled his aggression and rage into running and sports — how performance became an outlet when the house didn’t feel stable.We also get into something we don’t talk about enough: men and vulnerability. How boys aren’t really encouraged to talk about fear or sadness, just strength. And what that costs long-term.This isn’t a political episode. It’s not preachy. It’s two people unpacking something that shaped them.We talk about grief — grieving someone who is still alive. Boundaries that feel cruel but are necessary. The responsibility of being the “closest” sibling. The weight of always being on call.And why choosing your own peace sometimes feels like betrayal.My hope with this conversation is simple: that someone listening feels less alone. And maybe future generations don’t have to carry this level of chaos into their adulthood.