Ep. 190 Lion Taming: Finding Your Power in Negotiations

Episode Highlights ✅ Introduction to Lion Taming (00:00:00) Dr. Amy Vertrees introduces the “Lion Taming” master class on power and negotiation. Highlights her coaching program for women surgeons, helping them handle difficult colleagues, power dynamics, and negotiations. Defines BOSS as a suite of coaching and courses teaching crucial career skills often missing from surgical training. ✅ Who (or What) is the Lion? (00:02:08) “Lions” = Anyone who can harm your career, reputation, or confidence—senior colleagues, competitors, even patients. The most dangerous lions are sometimes the most powerless or wounded. Lion taming means: Finding your own power Managing those with power over you Acting despite fear Leading without formal authority ✅ Stress Responses in Conflict (00:05:52) Workplace conflicts trigger strong emotions like anger, fear, shame, or sadness. These emotions often stem from being dismissed, interrupted, or undermined. Four stress responses: Fight, Flight, Freeze, Fawn. Lion taming often involves recognizing and managing the “fight” response. Lesson from Androcles & the Lion: understanding and soothing the “lion’s pain” can transform conflict into cooperation. ✅ New Approaches to Negotiation (00:12:15) Avoid using: The “Hammer” (intimidation) The “Armor” (withholding vulnerability) Instead, aim for: Honesty Genuine curiosity Emotional intelligence Insights from Kasia Urbaniak’s “Woman’s Guide to Power Unbound”: Dominance: Knowing and using your power Submission: Knowing what you want and influencing others to give it to you ✅ Self-Discovery & Managing Lions (00:16:35) Crucial steps for effective negotiation: Know your strengths and weaknesses Understand what you truly want Believe in your capacity to achieve it Reduce the lion’s perceived threat by envisioning the best version of them. Negotiation isn’t purely logical—it’s driven by emotion and the sense of safety. ✅ Three Steps to Tame a Lion (00:25:20) Anchor: Create safety and stability within yourself. Align: Shift attention outward to engage strategically. Ask: Make a clear, powerful request. Recognize where your attention is: Inward focus = Submission Outward focus = Dominance ✅ Power is Not a Threat—It’s a Tool (00:35:55) Power exists to influence, not intimidate. Dr. Vertrees encourages listeners to use their power for positive change. Power Negotiations course topics include: Identifying your needs Reading others’ needs Practical negotiation techniques Surviving high-stakes conversations The “CEO Self-Concept”: Think of yourself as your own business, making choices aligned with your mission and values. ✅ Coaching Program Details (00:41:33) Weekly live sessions Private podcast + Facebook group Email support Discounted 1:1 coaching calls Dr. Vertrees encourages potential clients to discuss fit before joining. Action Items 📝 Visit bosssurgery.com to: Learn more about coaching Join the group program Access resources for negotiating and managing challenging dynamics Quote of the Episode “True confidence is the willingness to feel any negative emotion—and act anyway.” — Dr. Amy Vertrees