Hello everybody welcome to cheap show. I mean, I still haven't hello everybody. Welcome to cheap show. I'm Paul Gannon and today on cheap And today on cheap show Fuck off Welcome to echo cheap show the equity is cheap show cheap show cheap show in the end though the world world world Well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, I'm gonna say go on I think we should start this again I think that's gonna be a team shift.
Oh, I think we should start this again I'm might be gonna be in a relationship and that's like you go up to your partner and do a couple months of strife you think I think we should start this again. That'll be good from the beginning. How do you do that? You know, what you all know You know out and you come and you knock on the door.
Hello. I'm I mean, I you don't know me. If I was that lady I'm like, I'm cool the police. Hello.
I mean, I don't know me like we're dumped your don't you're dumped if you're dumped Fancy some boning ding-dong. Hello man brand new I'm the bow man brand new bone man. Let's try this out House and you're the bow man no just the ragging bow man, right? Hello, have you opened the door?
Yeah Hello, oh hello there beautiful lady who are you I'm not Eli explain yourself of cool. I call the police Oh, we're starting again. This is very good. I'm the bone man.
I don't know what the bone man do heavy burning I'm going to please. No, you're not. I don't know me. I don't know you the children.
No, that's not my name Isn't it? Oh, oh, sorry Welcome to cheap show ladies out. We're like the two fucking Ronny's with both dead inside I hate you and your fucking noodle posy fucking except cheese And a go and I know the back of the theme tune Paul we've been ejected back into the pond or we were Vietly ejected at the back of the theme tune into the podcast for realties and what is going on on cheap show this week Paul? Well, we have a We're gonna do a cheap each today.
I think I've got some food we can try out so that we're gonna do oh, yeah And also we're gonna do a Paul's page turners because I've got a book that popped up recently weirdly It was all those things were I went to a charity shop saw this book went I have to get that and they did look online for a review of it And then when I saw it linked to a blog from a friend of mine I was like, I don't need to buy the book. I'm reading this blog post. Yeah, so we can be doing that It's good. We can be reading out a blog post.
Yes I've got permission of our common who is my friend who wrote that blog and so he has there we can read it on the on the show in full Later on who's it about find out later in the show later on oh hello? I'm Paul Ganon welcome to teach you the economy comedy podcast or we go through the charity shops parking bins and Of Great Britain The treasure amongst the trash. Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do source reports studio line Studio lines, so sauce report pot pot pot we have been sent sauce Paul. Yeah, this sauce is called House of Pickles Yes, did have a letter with it.
You didn't give me a letter I give you the envelope everything in to have a letter in it. This didn't come in envelope Did it yeah, what do you think that these sorts angels came I just draw a delivered source unto me to give to the King of Sources I rode across land and see on my horse Source was my source. Yeah, so it's called pegas horse pegas Fantastic and he's like Come out your bum pegas or sauce. Yes, get up There's lots of straw in this round source Right, sorry Paul.
No, I don't have any information about this source, but it please get back in touch with us Yeah, this ends it is a real mystery. I've looked up the manufacturer. Yeah weight hanging weight hanging weight hanging hot sauce Now the worst something like a Facebook. Yeah, it hasn't been updated since 2013 or something No, what is the date on that of interest is there a better for yeah?
No, I'm on Amazon. He basically in 12 months Well, that's what I find this at the end of time The universe is only lasting another two days. Oh, what a shame don't get to try this and this is how to pickles It's called how to pickle. It's got gherkin and Dylan it.
So as it is a show is it bespoke source for us We don't know Paul that is a mystery of the source report. It's a source little mister re and Listen before we go any further go along with this come on I'm trying to see I'm not kicking back against the source report. Yeah, I'm back and let the source go through Just dribble on my hot chest. Oh, I'm sorry.
I'm a hairy cheddar. So spicy deal on the odd chest I could put together an impromptu I put on your impromptu impromptu awful Paul in front to Pultus. Oh impromptu You're not helping the source report you know that You're doing an Eli I will continue with the report right and the ingredients of this it's got Trinidad scorpion Please What are you just a new character? You can't really like yes, I was gonna mention it and then I'll finish the report Okay, so the only thing is you can't see the character here.
You've got to go to the toilet. So go to the toilet Eli Who's saying that I'm the toilet I'm Flushing the toilet sound effect Even started People I think that's gonna have a high high ranking next year's chief game was favorite character Three two one and pomper do Since 2012 this source has been manufactured perhaps Paul. I'm having a great time this week good Perhaps Paul. Yeah, it is like you say just a coincidence and they've used house of pickles Yeah, and I wasn't original when I know what is that when like thought travels independently across the world and people have it the same time There's several theories, but one is widely discredited which was a young's theory of the morphic field Yeah, we're like the example They gave was like sheep crossing a fence with all realize that but in different world They proposed a morphic field where these archetypes and thoughts and things exist outside of individual minds Yeah, and it there was some evidence There was some evidence put forward where they they seem to and it seems to be a fact for that It's proven that people who do the crossword about to say the times crossword Yeah later in the day mmm who do the crossword later in the day do it quicker So the theory is that it gets into the morphic field all of the answers of the people who Who are they?
It's interesting bollocks, but it's the collective unconscious is another term That's the thing I was talking about the sheep in one part of the world You two roll over those cow grapes to get across and then another country she could do the exact same thing over there And it's like well that's interesting. Yes, but that's the best example I've been like a child rake who's a sort of he's an outsider scientist Right and he posits what was outside of scientists mean though? Does that mean I had like edge Lord opinions about gravity or whatever? Yes, but he has he has a background in science, but he has some he has ideas for example Like the one about the morphogenic field of work Which are not accepted by the mainstream.
Oh, he thinks consciousness He thinks consciousness plays a causal role in the world as well. Okay, Rupert Sheldrake. I'm not saying I believe it Ladies and gentlemen when we started the source report We didn't think we'd be galloping into the realm of what do you want to call that kind of thing philosophical thought well sort of yeah? Yeah, oh dear cheap show may say you'll laugh and come and shit and poo and all that stuff But deep down with clean, delicate clouds now Paul what's what you're suggesting is perhaps it was in the ether so to speak You're putting it in a colloquial way.
Yeah, that house of pickles is a sort of thing. Yeah, or so I said it I unconsciously nicked it. I saw that to you or yeah on the other side of this whole thing. Yeah, it's On the other side of that theory is that whoever did what's sent this in can you can get your own labels or get your own source made in Small batches.
Yeah, and it's actually no no, no, we try that try it. It's very exciting on cheap show What are your thoughts about a hot sauce with gherkins in it? It's not great. I don't know I can't I mean I can't think it'll probably be like that very You know it's sealed here.
So that should reassure you about it. It's quality. Yeah, no, I noticed the seal myself and thought that safe I'm just gonna open it up now. It's not a good shake.
I want to go in pieces to give it a girl vigorous Dylan go get fragments to infuse the whole of the sources body. Yes in fuels it I actually like that character. Give me a half deep round snake come out getting gherkin. Oh, yeah So sniff get the half on that night.
Oh, it's not quite sweet. You know it smells like to me. This is very strange. It's not like fruit gums That is strange.
I think we have your brain injury. Yeah, it's applying some healthy dollop of the sauce to the spoon And it's gonna go in his mouth right now. Oh, I don't know how he feels about this that was a good look It's got a sort of staleness staleness to it smell up close. Okay, open it up to nasal and it's strange Because it's very runny and it doesn't have any bits, but it's just it's got it's brown It's got Trinidad scorpion Magora chilies gherkins.
They were the world record holder. Oh, what can I go? They'll seeds they'll tips mustard seeds salt sugar spices zanathan gum and the leputin chavine numbers or That's a face for your mother. What the fuck was wrong with you?
Oh, yeah, it looks like poppi. I'm in a big old wank Did it it what's wrong? Come on what's that? It's very hot is it in what way hot though?
I mean we talk deep or fiery fiery punch. We have a little taste a little deal of on your finger It's quite tasty. I have to say it works that you can taste the gherkin. It is it's a gherkin hot sauce Nice a lot nicer than I was thinking.
You know, I mean, it's very sharp very vinegary Oh, that was a little bit of me and that feels like a like a falling a match tip. Yeah, you know, it's got a real It's actually really tasty. I mean with the back you get the gherkin and the deal at the back very fruity to me It's quite nice, isn't it? I know what's a successful source report?
If you said that is house of vehicle source everyone Yeah, if you sent that in please get into this on Twitter or email history and just tell us who you are and stuff because that's nice Yeah, and did you know it's all support part two all sorts reported end up that the well-known sriracha brand flying goose Yeah, now do different types of different flavors of sriracha Paul and that song I couldn't think of last week That was kind of a kind of yakisics kind of thing was called honking goose. It was no the one who's rocking in a hurricane. Yeah, yeah We have a show like it's great very fun. Yeah, number upbeat number I got double LP of Johnny in the hurricanes.
They did they specialize in rock and roll instrumentals because I know you keep doing this You keep cutting me off before the source report is finished. Oh, I'm just pro I'm edging the source report I'm edging it just peeking it out I'm like Right on your gov or source report in my tongue Right, so and they have a smoke flavor sriracha, which I want to try add a yellow chili flavor sriracha I want to try that's what I'm saying. You mean a smoke to sriracha not a smoke flavor sriracha Because what the smoke tastes like fire. Yes, pump a door.
No It's just so deeply unfunded is that your new character? Yeah, the toilet people he says like I do Why does he say pom-padoo cuz at the time he's doffing his hat at the same time? You're sitting there on the toilet and as you're gooning out your brown mask He pops a little head out with a little monocodid and he goes bomb a door Does it have my poo on his hat? No, but why does what he doesn't ask you to push?
I just done a shit. Where's the shit? I Got the squits we're all like peppered with it like shot look shotgun done like no He what does he look like? What's his body?
It kind of looks like a kind of like a cherub does he look a bit like Jiminy cricket? No, he looks like a kind of cherub like an oily cherub. Yeah, except for angel wings He's got kind of like a bat wings member in us members kind of flesh member in us back when any wears a top hat and there's a monocod Monocle and he shouts pom-padoo as you're gonna pull the toilet. I hate this character It was funny to me at the beginning extra garlic ball.
Yeah yellow chili mushroom double-hot smoky one is his absolute favorite Look, I've got a photo of it here. I'm not interested in this Nobody says there flying goose brand no, but they're flavor bit underneath. She're at your hot chili smoke flavor. Chili smoke flavor.
Yeah They're going to smoke chilli what you said it would be ridiculous. You can't just have smoke flavor must be smoked Shriwacha. What does that say? What does that say on the sauce with picture of which I'm showing you?
Oh, pump it up. Oh, oh back in the loo That's you drinking a coffee that's not you do your stop blowing bubble stop playing with your food It's all supports over Hey, now we can carry on with the rest of this podcast Welcome back from the sound effect Paul what have we got now? Well, we are gonna do a cheap eat this week and I've been out in the shops and pick up a few things that I think Paul Yes, just before we do that. Oh Pompa do you seen it down there?
What behind those boxes? Yeah? Yeah, you've seen them. What's that?
Well, I don't know because we've had those boxes there for five years. I know what's your say hatching here? I don't know what we found that last week. I mean those boxes finally and I just presumed it was just part of the old The old podcast underneath that goes underneath the but I didn't think there was something underneath the podcast I thought it was just solid ground.
Maybe it's just a fake door. Maybe it's not meant to go anywhere Because I've also what I did have a little look right and there's this map. There's a key on a string Yeah, on the underside of the hatch, right? There was a this map.
So you look at the right? I have a little look it's a map. It's very basic and it just has an arrow pointing down Yeah, and one pointing along right and then there's just some picture of a house right with the letters S and And and percent see okay, what's that all about? What is beneath our podcast?
There's nothing beneath the podcast. We exist. They're fucking you. I've had a look come are you ready?
Oh pardon? You want me to come down your hatch? Come on then open your big hairy hatch and I will come in your hat. I'm just warning you I'm about to go off on a fucking nonsense word rampage.
Oh, you know, yeah, I'll beat you to it. No, you haven't. People bubble No, people bubble is not a nonsense word. I want better fuck our costs Are we gonna go down to have a white or white?
You can go Go down the hatch instead of GPs. Oh, right? No, okay. You go down a little.
I don't want to go down there You're keen to do this not me. I'm gonna follow this man. It's got the key. Let me finish the drinky boot.
Fuck sake Right lead on Ducky. We're gonna go down. I'll open the door here. We go See is a ladder going down.
Well, there should be nothing there. There should be the void underneath the store And instead there is a ladder going down like a stone a stone well. It's like looks like a stone well All right, okay, you go first well at the bottom. We just go that way so Which way to go?
Oh, you go down a few meters to this s and C. He like Think I know where this is going. Do they you go over nowhere? I don't know where it's going.
They don't and that's fair enough But it's just to go over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over And then back over we physically S and C or what does that mean? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no Let's just do it three or four times in a row to prove the point. I'm giving you coverage to work within the edit pool For you in my ribs in my cookie cookie No, I'm gonna whip out. What about my googoo mister and it's gonna it's gonna slap your glue boo boogie Googie googie Then and gurgen He's looking at look sad at laser gentlemen.
Let's go down this imaginary well. Fuck daddy. Happy splash. No.
Yeah You can't be down you go first The earth's what we call where is this? Okay? I can't see you've got a mouse put your light on your torch. All right, excellent now We can see right good this way what that way on the map the only way because there's a tunnel is it a tunnel?
I don't know we haven't mapped it out. We're going for it a little tunnel ahead of us, isn't it? Say the size of a I don't know corridor made of stone walk down. I'm walking down Oh, look at this door.
I can't see shine. I like to play. What's that say? It says the Snips let's let's let's look at the lerg of lergie of snaps the lerg you the merge of abs snacks and cock large your pop and cocks The least of us and tops the lurbin dermal Snacks of this ball what does that let me rub it?
Let me rub it The animal I want the side rub this blast last play it's in brash out. Oh m. I got it does it It says you're really I didn't know there was it why's the lig down here? Perhaps for sooth the key you hold it off open so door.
Let's try. Oh It's this man use this man coming along. There's a little man now this Oh, I'm the scribe of the league of snacks and crisps right what brings you to the inner sanctum of the league We make a podcast in the Pod Void and we found the hats that lead to this fucking bullshit concept and we hold it down here. What's interesting is that we have on our podcast, tasting snacks and crisps for our own amusement and rating it for the wide public to learn from.
For the league? For the league. Now you've entered the Inter-Sangdom and down here in the Inter-Sangdom of the league we have the full records, the library of the leagues findings. Right, anyway, you've laboured that.
Let's move on. Oh, the letter, I'm the scribe. I have not been interested in this character going forwards. The scribe of the league must read the letter.
No, you're not reading the fucking letter. Give me a ear. Dear Pore of the League. No, I can't have you read that letter in that voice for the next 15, perhaps 20 minutes.
I'm not having it, give it a ear. I'll go back to my watch and write about Christian snacks. This character is unnecessary for the concept we dreamt of. Oh, it's unnecessary.
My character is it. Yes. It's unnecessary, is it, Paul? Yes, it is an unnecessary addition to the concept of a temple of leagues of snacks and crisps that we find and then we've discovered some kind of namas on it.
The scribe, thank you, Mr. Scribe. I'll just leave you boys to it. You will make yourself at home.
There is absolutely no comedic nutritional value to this character. I'll go and write about Christ in a big book. Oh, oh, you know what I mean? It's the part in it.
You know what it is? You know what this book is? Yes. The tomb, oh, the crisp.
The tomb, oh, the crisp. When are you going to get it? This character does not work. It actually makes it more protracted.
The inner sanctum of the sanctum. Bye. Eli, come back. Right.
Oh, what's the tea? There he goes, Paul. What an amazing, amazing place. Who knew that the inner sanctum of the legal snacks and crisp was here?
So what I'm going to do, Eli, is I'm going to force you down to the crown. Pull up your penis. Oh, grip it in my hand. Squeeze it to the meatless open slightly.
And then I'm going to pour half the bottle that halter pickles down your meaters old. And then I'm going to put me thumb on the top and shake it like a champagne bottle. And then let you go off in a hot gyser of painful piss steam until you thrash around it. Agony.
Ladies and gentlemen, we've received a letter and it's concerning the legal snack and crisp. Yes, so all this eight, nine minute protracted beginning was to say that we got a box in the P.O. box and it was from a song called Ben and Ben has gone to P.O. Yeah, we got a box in the P.O.
box. Yes, we did. So it was from the letter and we got a box and it was full of crisp and I was like, holy shit, here's a letter. Dear born Eli.
Hello. Hello. I hope you both well have a big fan of cheap show wants to send you something in as a way of saying thank you for entertaining us every week. Your recent decision update the legal snacks and crisps with a new accuracy rating was an excellent one.
However, it has meant that the previous entrants in the league are now lacking this crucial information. I thought I'd help remedy that by furnishing you with the box containing all the previous entrants so that you might be able to provide us with this valuable data. Unfortunately, while putting this package together, I realized I was unable to find Briannegan crisps anywhere. I'm going to ask you where I might find them and they replied cut to it a little post cut out image of the Twitter response from KP Chris saying, hi Ben, I'm afraid this range has been discontinued.
Apologies for any disappointment. That is a huge piece of news. That's the biggest, biggest cult crisps out there. And now.
Our reports I'm just last year. Yeah, come on. We tasted it. We tasted it some bacon one for mustard.
Oh, no. So they say the range is discontinued. Not just that flavor. The range has been discontinued.
Unbelievable. They snuck that out, didn't they? KP. That's the best crisps they ever did.
Putting out back hands. That hammer pickle was nice wasn't it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're going to do that with a skin on texture.
All rough and tasty. Very crunchy, crunchy and hot crisps. It's nice. That's fine.
I bet if you go on eBay now, the prices going through the roof of Unopen package. I've got a legitimate unopened, sealed in box. New old stock. Terrible shame on you.
KP. We're calling you out. Almost as bad as walkers dropping the cheese moments and lying about it. KP.
Basically, cunt persons. That's what it stands for, cunt persons. KP snacks, cunt person snacks. Edgy.
I've also taken the liberty to include snacks and crisps and I think make qualified for the though obviously such important decisions remain up to you as Guardians of the League. Well thank you for the difference to our standing. Thank you very much. So the five he's put in here that we haven't tried our week crunchy skips, salted shades, squares and frazzles.
They're the ones we're going to start with. Okay and then give them full marks and then he does go I realise that a box of 22 different snacks and crisps is a lot to get through. You might not want to dedicate a show just to this. Well we are.
Whether you decide to pick them on the show or not I would be offended to talk to you. Enjoy them. So here's the thing we've got the League standings there. He has gone through every episode and put in bar the accuracy measurements right.
He's on a recap of everything. Now that is good because this is this is some important data that you hold in your hand there. Now I'm going to go very very briefly through this list. So hold tight.
Here we go. Here are the snacks we've covered so far. So take the crisps cheese on your Monster Monster, Monster Monster, Piglet Onions, Space Raiders, Piglet Onions, Space Raiders Beef, Quavers, Cheese. Let me take some money.
Just let me take this. No. Space Raiders, Piglet Onions, Space Raiders, Piglet Onions, Space Raiders Beef, Quavers, Cheese, Chips, Sticks, Salt and Vinegar, Smiths, Scampie Fries, Watson, Really Cheesy, Dry Rose to Peanut by KP snacks, Doritos, Tank and Cheese, McCoy, Salt and Vinegar, Chris, Doritos, Chelee, Heatwave, Doritos, Cool, Original, Brannigans, Rope, Beast and Mustard, McQuarley's, Flame Grilled, Stake, Smiths, Bacon Fries, Brannigans, Smoke, Ham and Pickle. That's what we've done on the show today.
We need now, in the Sanctum, Paul, in a clear headed and scientifically minded approach. With our rational hats on, we need to give accuracy scores for all of those crisps. We do. But what we should do is start with, let's get going.
Look, we got these bag out of the bag before. You thought it was a joke, continuing to pull out bag, after bag, after bag, after a lot of crisps. And don't worry, none of these crisps will go to waste. After this episode, Eli and I, between the two of the year, we'll share them and eat them all tonight when we get stoned.
Because that's how things work. So, we're going to start with the five that we're going to introduce Brannu to the league, all right? Okay, we want to start with those five. We have to do full, we're going to race through those like, Mad Bastards, all right?
It's going to be a top challenge now. Do you have a pen? I do, but I'd have to, perhaps the scriber's got one. I'll go and ask the scribe for.
Go ask the scribe. He's probably next door, isn't he? Okay, thank you very much. You have a good one, we'll walk back.
Yes, thank you. Yeah, lovely chat, let's go. He's entertaining as well. It's just a shame that he's got such a horrible, I don't know, spine scraping voice that puts me off his appearances.
Isn't there with that little toilet? Toilet paper. Toilet paper. He's a cherubaby.
They're just sitting there, the elf is on the table. The scribe is writing about crisps. And what was he doing? There's a clock and the clock was like, whoa.
Oh, look, it's Lewis Carleson for them. Right, it's a magical place, this sanctum. I have a pen. So, we're going to start with entry into the hollowed temple of the league.
These are the new ones we're doing first. We're entering these into the league of snacks and crisps. I need to be entered in this fully. I'm sorry to criticise your technique.
Wouldn't it make more sense to take a little bit more time with these new ones? And then we only have to do accuracies for those other 20 or so crisps there. Yeah, I know that is what we are doing. We just need some time to get an accurate score for these.
Let's just do these five right now and the segments. Job done. Get out this fucking temple, carry on with the show. Okay.
All right. Yeah. Think of it as something more better than it is, which is us eating crisps nonstop. All right.
Okay. So what are we going to start with? Salt and shake. Salt and shake.
We haven't done salt and shake. So back in the day, I did a little bit of research. crisps used to be just completely plain in the bag and then added that little blue packet into crisps at some point years ago. And you could flave them yourselves, which is why when you buy crisps already salted, it's because when they began to salt the crisps themselves, already salted, which is why they're already salted.
No one had the idea of just putting the salt on in the fridge. Yeah, yourself in a little sashay or something or maybe you bought them open and you shook up the flavour into it. You know what I mean? So these are a sort of retro crisp that stuck around.
It's weirdly. It's a way of how crisps used to be. It's like the rolling tobacco of crisps in that. You know, there's a lot of effort into rolling cigarettes and you don't need to.
You can just buy cigarettes, right? Yeah. You like rolling cigarettes. So people keep buying it.
Yes. So it's like that with crisps. It's definitely years and it's strange that it's sort of a retro thing. What I've got question, do you think they ever did special editions of salt and shake which had different flavours in the blue bag?
The back of my head wants to suggest yes. I know but I don't think it's true. Look, that would be amazing they had. It does say.
Yeah, there's this only ever been. There's a blue blue salt. Yeah. Now they're missing a trick there, aren't they?
They make this world of, Paul in this world of flavour possibilities, what these people can do with different flavours of different things. Yeah. Imagine that limited edition salt and shake like you can shake roast chicken on or something or you can shake cheese onion on. Weird.
Wouldn't that be good? Wouldn't that be good? Wouldn't that be good? Yeah.
Or you could mix it up. You could get mixed cocktails. We've got a bit of chicken and a bit of onion or a bit beef and a bit of tomato. Exactly.
And you shake your own crisp flavour. Yeah. Josh and shake. Yeah.
Splash and Josh. Yeah. We don't come into this stuff. You don't have to.
I fuck Chris. I fuck I only Chris. I put hair into a Chris packet and fuck it. No.
I put half a pound of suet into Chris packet and then I've run up. I've run up a wrap. I've run all the way up a wrap. All that with my dick out.
It's not when I was going to suggest that I don't go where that escalated to. Paul, I was merely going to suggest each packet of Chris gone to the little sashley full of my semen that's each flavour because I ate a lot of pineapple one day and I gush out a lot of pineapple spof and then the next day I eat a lot of I don't know. That's a piece of manti and I make it go as if it comes out all foamies like hand sanitizer from a squirtie bottle. The other thing, the other I made be a apocryphal but there's a story I heard about Salt and Shake is that someone wrote to complain that he didn't get in a little blue packet and then he got sent a big box of blue packets.
It's apocryphal indeed but I like that story. So just again to anyone who I think they're only in the UK these Chris, don't they? Possibly. But I do.
If you get a bag of absolutely plain Chris and you get a little blue sashley off salt and you shake it in the in the Chris and then you open the salt pouring in and shake it about flavoured Chris. Now what are your memories about these? I remember these only ever being bought in our family in like six packs from Iceland or quits, quits, whatever it was. You don't see these on the shelf very often these days.
Not on their own. No. They've got an ulti bag thing. Can I tell if this is a multi-pack one?
Well it might say do not not to be sold separately. No it doesn't. I think it's a go. Maybe.
I love these I have to say. Now I'm going to do are we ready for the the tasting? Yeah well you have to do a half. It's really nice.
It's a really familiar potato. It's a really pretty potato-y. It's just like a really basic crisp half. Do you know what I mean?
Yeah it's right. It's kind of a really comforting smell. Yes it's strange. It's that comforting smell of it.
It's the vegetable oil oil and the potato. The vegetable oil and potatoes. So have you found the little blue packet? Yeah.
It was in there somewhere. So what I tend to do when I eat these is I have one without any stuff. Yeah yeah. That's easy.
It adds a sort of level of play. It's like I'm gonna have one just for the genuinely. Just play. I'm gonna have one.
I want to play. No there's not much there. I'll do it. But then still quite tasty though don't they?
They're not unpleasant but there's they're very plain. Nothing going on outside of this is baked potato. Now I'm going to put the salt into the salt and shake packet. Now shake it up.
And I'm gonna shake it off. Shake it off. Shake it off. Shake it off.
Shake it off. Shake it off. Shake it off. Shake it off.
Shake it off. Shake it off. Shake it off. Shake it off.
Shake it off. Shake it off. Shake it off. Shake it off.
Shake it off. Shake it off. Shake it off. Shake it off.
Shake it off. Shake it off. Shake it off. Shake it off.
Shake it off. Shake it off. Shake it off. Shake it off.
Shake it off. Shake it off. Shake it off. Shake it off.
Shake it off. Shake it off. Shake it off. Shake it off.
Shake it off. Shake it off. Shake it off. Shake it off.
Shake it off. Shake it off. Shake it off. Shake it off.
Shake it off. Shake it off. Shake it off. Shake it off.
Shake it off. Shake it off. Shake it off. Shake it off.
Shake it off. Shake it off. Shake it off. Shake it off I'm going to try and eat this.
Sewers! Sewers! Right, if you're too sugar up, I'm about to have a shot crisp. Have a little...
Don't fill yourself up, I know. The temptation is to eat the whole of that. And I did a big gobble. They're lovely.
They really are. They're very simple, very basic snack. But there's something about the probe set of eating it which is rewarding. But that's just what a potato chip, whatever you want to call it.
Yeah. That's what it is essentially. It's salty. It's a salty...
It's tax time. I'll go at eight. Seven point five. Seven point five.
I think it's better than that. Seven point five. Is that work? Right, yeah.
Texture. Nine. Yeah, it's crazy. Very lovely texture.
It's a bit simple, but it's plain. But that's what I mean. It's basically a simple... That's good.
I don't know how much that costs. I'll just give it a bit of that. Well, just toss it on. It's not...
If you think about it's own ecology, or the environment, it's not as good, is it? No. That's true. Extra packaging.
So maybe... The seven. And then nostalgia. This is going to have to rank high because it's nine points on it.
It's nine points on it. It's nine point four. Should we go that high? I'm going to do point fours on seven.
We've got a point five or a round number. I think nine point five for nostalgia. It's for me personally, Paul. It's a hugely nostalgic...
Well, I'm not going to agree with you, because it's a whole brand that's built on. Remember the old days? Yeah, it literally is an nostalgic... It's working with nostalgia.
So it has to get a hundred point five. So nine point five. Add seven equals what? Mr.
Silverman? It is fifteen point five. Add nine. Sorry.
Sixteen point five. Add nine. Twenty five point five. Add seven point five.
Thirty. Thirty. Thirty. Now, accuracy of flavour.
How do you even rank that? What do they claim to taste of? Nothing. We can't give them a...
We can't give them an accuracy, because we'll run up against the problem with the lead. The whole basis of this segment was putting it in, and it's like, crisp flavour. They taste exactly like crisps with salt. So they do?
No, it's either ten or zero. That's the problem. No, we can't compromise for the light one. All right.
So you get an average score, so it doesn't push it, you know. That's new. Eight. Okay.
Let's do seven, actually. I think seven is. So seven out of thirty three is forty. Yes.
Congratulations, Walkers. You've reached a decent forty. It's good. I think they're lovely.
I have to say. I would buy those and eat them. I'd assume them. Right.
What's next? Walkers, they're used to the Smith's Square Crisps, and they are a flavoured potato snack. How are they made? Snacks with angles is where it's at.
They're all mush up a load of potatoes. Yeah. And then they're squeezed into the square shapes. And then I like the texture of these.
I'm going to have a sniff. Oh, it's not vinegar. It's a proper good tangy sort of. It's not a proper tang on sniff that.
Mmm. Yeah. You know they're famous for having a very sharp vinegar. Very sharp vinegar.
Because they did other flavours. They did cheese and onion dumpling. Yeah. And spring onion ones.
I'm very salted. And that's my flavour, because that's kind of like cracked. I think my favourite is something. We are only going to cover the something that's going to go so in this particular.
They'll have to stand in for all of Square flavour crisps. They are Square Crisps, by the way, if you don't know by now. And it's processed potatoes. Is it fried or baked?
It does not say. No. I think they're baked, like with what's it's these days. They're baked because they try to push that.
I don't think they probably still fried. Right. They have a unique texture, don't they? Yeah.
I like it. They're very crunchy and sharp and jagged. Can we just say as well? Smith was the original brand which Walkers took over, didn't they?
Because they were sold with the Shakeworth Smiths. Yeah. And even until recently it's not on this because they've totally done away with this Smiths. Yeah.
But in recent years they'd have Smiths as well as the Walkers thing. They'd have a packet originally Smiths. That's a weird thing to put on. And I mean, onto the triumvirate of snacks that still has Smiths written on it.
Yeah. Even though they're living a lie. It's made by KP these. I don't know.
It doesn't make by Smiths. Although they're owned by KP. I don't know. It's a strange and myriad world of Chris ownership.
It's like the Chinatown of snacks. It is now. So go on. Test test test.
The half is seriously impressed with Beast on these squares. I like Smith Square Chris a lot. They've got an extremely crunchy. Aren't they?
That's all you can ask for really. Even though something is kind of sweet. Sweet. No mean task.
It's got a vinegary tan. But it's also like there is a sweetness. But it's not. The vinegar has a sweetness right at the end.
Yeah. It's not too sharp. It's smooth almost. There's a little stab at the beginning.
And then it kind of mellows up. That's great. Right. Excellent.
Flavor. That's a high one. Easy 8.5. Textured.
8.5 has to be 8.5. Again. I'll go without them. Value.
Now these are actually quite cheap. You get them in snack deals and meal deals and grab bags. Give that an 8. They work around always but they never seem to have a much of an identity of their own.
Do you know what I mean? They kind of are a lingering snack. They sort of hang around with the other stuff. Do you know what I mean?
You sometimes want to be relegated to the Christmas of the year like this goes or bits of pizza. Or whatever you'll call it. They're in that league. They're in that second tier league.
Not to get into tears because we don't do that. We don't fucking do that. This is the league. But they are.
The human league. They're a second years for fears. They're not any one sort of big fake. They must be some people's but they're not like Jesus wept.
They're not. That's the er temple dork. That you heard just them. They're not like.
They're around. They're on 80 snack in my head. I think we should go for a seven for nostalgia. Fine.
Accuracy. Zalt and vinegar. This is always interesting when we do this because they're generic kind of something between different types of Chris aren't going to wave with that much but they are dependent on the form of the snack. The texture determines how that flavor is delivered.
But I would say accuracy is quite high then. I would say it's 8.5. We're in agreement. So let's go through this.
8.5 and 8.5 is 17 plus 8 is 23.25 plus 7. God, I can't believe you're making me do this. 32 plus 8.5. 40.5.
40. It just sneaks ahead of the swalker salt and shake. Well, you know they are very tasty. Yeah.
Now moving on Paul. Moving on. Mr. Sonata Chris with a long longer than you would have thought history.