EP 2.03 - The Practice of Caring Out Loud with Samara Bay

I was a shy and intense kid. The kind who always wants to sit at the grownups table instead of running around with the other kids.But I noticed early on that my intensity could confuse or overwhelm others, so I learned how to be me more quietly. I poured my caring into outlets that wanted me there, like theater, writing, and my horse, who always understood me.As an adult–at podiums, in boardrooms, and even alone on my yoga mat–I would feel words pressing at my ribs. There were things I wanted to say, wanted to ask about, to try articulating, but my earnestness got buttoned up under a well-honed, cool girl armor. What if I showed my full self and it wasn't received? What if my passion made people uncomfortable? I learned to modulate, because people love passion, just not when it's too much. And that voice–the good girl, the good boss, the earnest striver–worked. Until it felt like a compression vest.Eventually, I realized that power that doesn't include caring for everyone in the room is not power I want. The bravest thing I could do wasn't to hold it all together. It was to let myself be seen caring. Today, my guest, Samara Bay, and I imagine what a future could look like if more of us cared out loud. And because she is a coach and behavior geek like me, Samara offers us a delicious exercise that we can apply to our daily lives.Samara Bay is a speech coach, author, and revolutionary voice in every sense of the word. If you haven't read her New York Times bestselling book, Permission to Speak, you're going to want to by the time our conversation is done. Samara is helping us reimagine what authority can sound like, what power can feel like, and how we can bring that into our daily practices.Samara reminds us that giving ourselves permission to speak is not a surface level change, it's cultural transformation. We are quite literally changing the sound of power.Listen to the full episode to hear:How internalized risk management patterns keep us from connecting and making a real impactHow permission to speak creates paradigm-shifting opportunities for what power sounds likeHow rewriting the internal narrative about your audience changes how you show upWhy we need to consistently practice speaking from connection instead of protectionWhy making our care and effort obvious matters for ourselves and our communitiesThree questions to ask yourself whenever you have an opportunity to speakLearn more about Samara Bay:Permission Inc.Instagram: @samarabayConnect on LinkedInLearn more about Valerie Black:The Change AgencyBecoming Power NewsletterCoachingResources:BoyMom: Reimagining Boyhood in the Age of Impossible Masculinity, Ruth WhippmanTalk to Your Boys: 16 Conversations to Help Tweens and Teens Grow Into Confident, Caring Young Men, Joanna Schroeder, Christopher Pepper Building Joyful Reflective Practices with Sara Lawson