Ep 22: What we ALL want for Christmas with Rachel Childs and Kate Mangino

Don't worry it's not all about Christmas! Christmas is a great framework to discuss some really important issues. If you want to help with the amazing "Equalish" podcast, check out their crowd funding campaign, here: https://www.ifundwomen.com/projects/equal-ish-podcast Please follow me on Instagram and TikTok @beahappierparent Full vidoes of episodes available on YouTube @alexindadland Keywords gender roles, fatherhood, emotional labor, parenting, equality, family dynamics, holiday traditions, shame, guilt, identity Summary This conversation delves into the evolving roles of parents, particularly focusing on gender dynamics in parenting. The speakers discuss how traditional gender roles impact both men and women, the importance of open conversations before becoming parents, and the need for shared emotional labor in family dynamics. They explore the significance of creating joy during holidays and the challenges of breaking down societal norms and gatekeeping. The discussion also touches on the concepts of shame and guilt in parenting, emphasizing the need to redefine identities and scripts around parenthood. Takeaways Gender roles are often gendered and can hurt both men and women. The role of fathers has evolved significantly over the years. Conversations about parenting should start before the baby arrives. Emotional labor and cognitive tasks often fall disproportionately on one partner. Teaching boys to notice and participate in household tasks is crucial. Creating joy during holidays can enhance family connections. Mothers should feel empowered to take time away from home. Shame is tied to identity, while guilt is tied to actions. It's important to challenge and redefine parenting scripts. Parents should reflect on their values and identities regularly. Titles Redefining Parenthood: Gender Roles and Emotional Labor The Changing Face of Fatherhood Sound bites "Gender roles hurt men too." "Shame is tied to our identity." "Who do I want to be as a parent?" Chapters 00:00 Introduction to the Conversation 02:53 Exploring Gender Roles in Parenting 06:11 The Evolution of Fatherhood 06:21 The Importance of Shared Responsibilities 08:20 Cognitive and Emotional Labor in Households 11:28 The Role of Antenatal Programs 13:52 The Impact of Societal Expectations 16:43 The Concept of 'Noticing' in Parenting 18:58 Creating Joy During the Holidays 22:16 Navigating Family Dynamics at Christmas 24:52 Breaking Down Barriers to Equality 27:37 Conclusion and Reflections 29:19 The Dynamics of Gatekeeping and Power 31:40 Traditions and the Role of Women 33:16 Changing Family Dynamics and Emotional Labor 34:54 The Importance of Caregiving Roles 36:08 Building Relationships Through Shared Joy 39:24 The Challenge of Emotional Vulnerability in Parenting 43:53 Learning from Dads: The Value of Different Parenting Styles 45:25 Shame, Guilt, and Identity in Parenting