Are you ready there? Yeah. The five fingers. Don't, don't fuck.
Oh, we were calling them. Yeah. Okay. Five fingers.
Well, that's four fingers and a form. I need the countdown of the five fingers. The countdown of the five fingers. Please give me the five finger countdown.
That's what they call it. Oh, listen, went to the Andrew the other day. She gave me a five finger countdown. Can I just give a little word to the wise?
Yeah, I've worked in trophies. Yeah, a long time. Yeah. And don't try out any material on me.
Okay, when I'm trying to go on. Okay. When I say five fingers, it means give me the countdown of the five fingers. Like everyone who's worked professionally for long time.
Okay. Or something. Yeah, pour. Gannon, fuck you.
Give me the five fingers. I'll give you five fingers. I'll give you the countdown. Right up your cracky back.
Oh, yeah. Cracky back. Sorry. That's me doing words.
Give me the five finger countdown of my cracky back. Hello. Hello. What did you do?
I've shown. Five, four. Hello, everybody. That wasn't five.
I don't give it's a rough guide for me. It's not for me though. It's everything for me. I'm not doing this.
I'm not playing this game before. I don't play this three. Hello, everybody. It was Eli Silverman.
Welcome to Cheap Show. Here's what Gannon. Hello. And it's just like stuff that's cheap, you know, and like charity shops and stuff.
Great. You are such a fucking flag waiver for this podcast, aren't you? And we eat stuff. There's stuff we eat sometimes.
We talk about stuff that's happened. I've got to talk. I've got to talk. I've got to talk about a plot.
I've got to talk about a thought. I think I know how to capture Tim. I saw him today coming in. I saw him again in Richmond coming in today.
Digit. Yeah. He's going to double eight Smiths. He must live in Richmond.
He must live nearby. I think he's going to the bridge where he was standing next to his neighbor. That road down there. So I think we should kidnap him.
Let's triangulate on Tim. All this stuff on yourself. We're like nailing the track. We're like a little trail out and he'll be like, oh, I want to do the thing.
I think we're picking up more like jellybeans and he walks into a big box and pull the stick out. And the box comes down and traps him. That's plenty. Plan beats a little bit more effort.
We rent a horse space out. And we call it the cheap stuff, right? And we're looking for toy fair. This one's a good ball out which is a lovely.
And he comes round. It's not working anymore. Then he comes into this Volkswagen convention. We set off right and it's just awesome with the table and you want to see the good shit, Tim.
Oh, yes. Yes. We push out that into the van. Right?
Not fun, not fun. I'm going to get into the way to get up. And you caution with the big sock. Yeah, with the sock full of snooker balls.
Cosh him out. Right, we put him into the car. We drive. And who do we ring?
I haven't thought that far ahead. All I've thought so far is we just kidnapped him. No, no, why? I was thinking.
I was thinking, well, I have to be honest, but I know I've held my tongue. But I didn't think that whole vein of an idea worked in last week's springy snow paging episode. And I really don't think it's working out. Why is it exciting me?
Why won't you? Wouldn't give me the five finger countdown. You had to put it in my cradle or something. Back crackers.
Listen, why won't you let me kidnap an old man? If it's not to, can I kidnap any old man please? No, absolutely not. Come on, I just don't think.
One, well, keep a mirror for a bit. I don't think that's the direction. In terms of chat, like chat, which we could basically try and do on this show, I don't think that's the way it should go. I'm feeling sober, focused.
I have a little notes before me. Stop banging on the table. Of things. All you've written is jaffa-cakes.
That's not ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to Cheep Show. I hate you and your fucking mood will pop you. People love noodles.
Magic Cheep Show, you're going to have to learn the fucking except. Cheep Show. Cheep Show. It's a place of shy tea like silver.
In a girl, no no no. Writing down jaffa-cakes does not count as being prepared and sober for this recording. Is that not the item that we will come with now? Answer!
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the comedy podcast. We'll be going through the bargain into the charity show. And Pizzars of Great Britain. And we pull out the trash that we find amongst the tran- Jumble sales.
Jumble Jumble sales backcrad. It's a backcrad. I need to, I'm not in the zone yet. I'm not in the zone.
I'll do something. I'll put you in the zone. Hello, I'm Marjorie Craddock. And this is my back passage.
Jumble sales. Really what you've got to offer this show. I'm from Marjorie Craddock. She's a one.
Laugh, I died. Marjorie Craddock. So far, this character is just you doing your voice. I'm the hype man for Marjorie Craddock.
She's not actually gonna appear. I'm doing a lot of characters start off by being backstage entities. You know what I mean? It's like the outside waiting to come in.
And that's just so you can formulate in your end what they sound like and what they do. What thing comes out of their front or back? That's what it comes down to. Nothing about, she runs a show.
Fanny Craddock didn't spring to mind when you thought about Fanny Craddock. It's got nothing to do with that. That's just a no Marjorie Craddock. Is she related to Fanny Craddock?
Absolutely not. What does Marjorie Craddock do? She's got a back passage parlour. Yeah, she's got a passage parlour.
Has she? Parlour, she has a parlour. She runs a decent parlour. Is it a clean parlour?
Yes, it's spotless. And there's machines in there. Marjorie Craddock's back passage parlour. It's a new parlour.
It's a new parlour. It's a machine parlour. And it has machines and curiosities. Fine, here comes Steve Breeze from my new prog band, Zugz Flombe.
Ah, she's gonna have to come out now. Hello? So my character's gonna come out there now. Yeah.
Zugz Flombe, I'm so grateful you could come and visit my machine parlour. I'm Marjorie Craddock on the proprietress of this establishment. Now, you will be treated like a lord. I love that number.
What's it called again? You put it out on a record because you're the lead singer of Zugz Flombe. Brian, nice. What's it called?
Steve Breeze. Hello, Mr Breeze. It's not being loud. I don't like Marjorie.
Oh, OK. I'll go. Bye. I'll go.
Machines. Ah. Steve Breeze. I'll sleep with you.
I'll sleep with you. I'll sleep with you. This week, we are going to do a little bit of a cheap tea peat taste test. If I can fucking say, taste test, pour me a mini.
I've got a Jaffa, Jeff, a taste test. Come on, man. We've also got a great, cheap Jaffa cake. A nice Eli Silverman, which we've been talking about.
We've got a nice Eli Silverman. We've got a little bit about this. No one passed this by me. We have a nice Silverman.
There's a good university, Eli Silverman coming in. He doesn't exist. Ooh. And if he does, I don't want to know him.
Eli, I like dirty. I like dirty. I like dirty, dirty, dirty, boy. Ladies and gentlemen, we are in the House of Pickles again.
Yes. I'm going to talk about last week, but we're in the House of Pickles again. I'm just trying to see the only... Don't worry, you're opening remarks about the state of the House of Pickles.
Is there pickle waters? Is there pickle waters? Are there extra sources? Yes, there are extra sources.
Is there a whole jar of pickle that went unmentioned last week? Line pickle? Yes, there is. And I sniff it on the Patreon pod.
I'm going to sniff it now, Paul. This is what happens. This is what you're going to do. You're going to rip up the Patreon pod stuff then, because you want to...
Someone on Twitter said we should do soy sauces. And do you know what Paul? It struck me when I saw that tweet. Yes, we fucking should.
The source report needs to cover the most basic of all sources. Soy sauces. Now, how do you want to fit that in in some kind of soon-come episode? Maybe we can fit it into Marjorie Cradix backdoor parlor.
Does she have a soy sauce machine in there? Yes, she's got a sauce machine. She's got a magical sauce machine. She's got a magical sauce machine.
Marjorie Cradix magical sauce machine. I've seen it back there. Yeah. She's got Belton with sauce.
Laugh, I die. What does that mean? What does that mean? In this context, what does that mean?
A laugh to her machine? I love to her machine. It's weird. It's very delicate.
Oh, is it? It's a little too fucking machine. Is this the level of it? I'm going to do something magical to transport our listeners away for a few short moments, you know, with Marjorie and her Victorian-esque machine shop.
Do you know when we were trying to record the Patreon part, and I forgot to record the toast then. No, I was always going up and down. I was wishing. I've done that again right now.
That's the difference. I'm wishing I'd forgotten to record this opening salvo of yours with your kaleidoscope, and wisdom, and whimsy, floating into the podcast like an unwanted fart. Well, let's just... The house of pickles has got a sweat on.
You're at this room. Masty old house. This is like... Masty old house.
It's got a smell and it's got a louse. It's the house of... It's got a louse, a louse. Is this so burrili?
The soap really is exactly the same as piss-e-like, which is- No, it's not. ...which is exactly the same as bereft of inspiration you like. I am not bereft of inspiration. You're bereft of belief in me and you lost it a long time ago at Paul's.
Exactly fine, but... Yeah! I've believed that's what I'm saying. Believed?
Believed, in-e-life silverboard. What else was I going to talk about? Sorry so much as well. Just say yes or no, sorry so much.
Going forward. Yes, thank you. I didn't disagree with that. I just didn't....
Everyone around the world, who listens to the cheap truck, has come. Can I use it? It's also a report. I shouldn't do so much coffee before we start with fucking no shit.
I'd rather you be pissed. Oh, I'd rather you were dead. Can I just suggest something for the source of smitten? Moving on.
Can I just say if we do the same with the source of soy sauce? Sausage, I have an idea of how to present it. And it's called soy to the world. Oh, the boys and girls.
How about you've ruined it? You've ruined it. You know what? We both turned very salty in the past five minutes.
We were kissing and cuddling outside. We were looking forward to doing the part. That's the Jaffa Cakes over. That's what we're doing in this intro bit.
Past the Jaffa Cakes over on the left hand side. Past the Jaffa on the left hand side. It scans better for a fucking start. The Jaffa Cakes.
You're so musically the fengt. For a man who likes music so much. I never claimed to be a musician. No.
I never claimed to be. You did. You've heard so many songs in your time. Heard so many familiar hooks and leaf motiques and...
Leenie deege. Oh, fuck off. Fucking Jaffa Cakes then. Ooh.
Actual violence. Actual violence on the podcast. Slap that cake. I'm singing still from the impact of that packet of Jaffa Cakes on my elbow and lower abdomen.
Why do you report it? I'm a fucking Will. I'm a child. Hello.
Hello. What's your name? I'm Paul Gannon. I've got an HR complaint.
You. You threw shit at me. Can I look at the other prusal? Do you ever see anything?
Look at that mark there. I don't see anything. I see. We're going to put this up to Paul.
He's going to put this up to Paul. He's very stressed at the moment. He's just going to say actual violence occurred. As long as I've made a report, it's fine.
I've put it on the report. I'll put it on the report. I'll go any further than this conversation. I still want to work here.
I just wanted to say. These are potential promotion comments. I'm having a half of these. They're special edition.
All the rage at the moment. They bring out like a seemingly limited play. The Jaffa Cakes don't have to be orange. It's because of our backward limited 70s world of British food stuff.
You know, there's those Edelweis Polish ones. Edelweis Polish ones. Not Edelweis. Edelweis.
Edelweis. Edelweis. There's a Polish brand of Jaffa Cakes. They've got all these lovely jam flavours.
I like them. Also on Jaffa Cakes. The other day I had a little I believe Jaffa Cakes. They're much nicer than the Micklyte's ones.
We'll have to try them out then. They're much fruitier. The ratio of this cake to fruit. I just want this to be the last Jaffa Cakes thing we do in a while.
It feels like Jaffa is a common occurrence on this show. You say we've outgrown Jaffa Cakes. We've outgrown Jaffa Cakes. We've outgrown Jaffa Cakes.
We don't need to. We don't need to take this. They bore me. Jaffa Cakes.
There's Jaffa Cakes. It's got that similar tang that Jaffa Cakes have. There's a sort of ice creamy strawberry underneath. To the naked eye, it looks just like a regular common or golden Jaffa Cakes.
Jaffa Cakes. But I'm saying that. We don't need to take this Jaffa Cakes. They bore me.
I'm not getting anything. There's no strawberry flavour. There's no nothing. There's a whole where the orange flavour would be.
I couldn't even tell if that would just be given to me. It would just be like eat it. I would just say that tastes like a knock-off Jaffa Cakes. It really doesn't taste like strawberry.
It's all weird. Could either one be the past that I haven't had. It's weird. Well, there you go.
Disappointing. Very bad. They're supporting stuff. The picnic everything's not a nappy.
No. I think that's weird. You just have a nose. It's a nappy.
It's a nappy. It's a nappy. It's a nappy. It's a nappy.
It's a nappy. It's a nappy. I think it's a nappy. It's a nappy.
It's a nappy. It's a nappy. No. It's a nappy.
It's a nappy. It's a nappy. How dare you sir? Call me a nappy, sir?
HURT! You sir, you're a crap�crumbler. The prunckle in your tea. The peeps.
It's a good. The peeps and the peeps and the err… I want to mention your vision before we crack us. You're an envision. We have had 50 entries for your envision.
We're an envision. I've got to whittle them down to twtell. Whittle or your envision down to twell. I need you to shut your fuck down to twell.
I agree with all the points you're making about it. Hey, everyone. This is not all that important to say about your invasion coming up later this year. So to everyone sending stuff in, thank you so much.
We are only going to be able to pick out 12, because simply for time reasons when we do this, it would be a long show. I'm going to be doing this live on Twitch. So many entrants who have had over 50 now. It's getting turned into something we can't control.
It's bigger than all of us. So we will, meaningly we'll pick 12. That we hope is a nice broad range of music. We're not going to go for best or worst.
Or while I'll say you were trying to find tracks that we'd like to put towards the judges that are different and interesting. Right? And also best and worst. All I'm saying is there's no avoiding bias.
No, there's no avoiding bias. But my point is we do want to find a wiggle. We've got a wiggle. We've got a wiggle and a wiggle when we're resting.
We're clicking. So anyone's done anything to think. Thank you. But we are only going to pick 12.
We've got 12 judges, which we've just announced now on Twitter. So that's exciting. We've got comedians like Nick Helm and Paul Putner, who was in things like Little Britain and Lee and Harry and stuff. We've been to the show before.
Yeah, Brian Wecht is going to be voting for Ninja Sex Party. We've got Bloody Suscanpala, Suscanpala, Ashley Storey. God loads loads. Bitvos voting.
Ash is voting. We've got loads. No, not Ash with Ash with. Ash is voting again.
So that's the plan. So it's going to be a big, big show. But for our own sanity, we're not going to be putting all 50 or something. I have a question.
Have you whittled enough? Is it rest time from Whittling? It's time for Wanking. We've whittled.
So now it's time to wank. Rest and then wank. We're going to have a little West. A little West of Wank.
So join us up for a Whittle West of Wank for our next segment of the show, which is the actual intro. This is the intro. Whittle, whittle, wank. Whittle, whittle, that's out.
Whittle West of Wank. You've deflated my ending again. So you don't have to do anything. That's it.
We're moving on. Next segment, as of now. Yeah? Yeah, good.
Good. Paul going into this segment, I just wanted to say, I had one of those weird trains of thought when I thought of something when I was extremely embarrassed. I'm unhappy. It's made me embarrassed and unhappy.
In real life. Yeah. Because you remember something like embarrassing and it could feel the feeling that I was wrong. I have one.
Big memory. Don't think about it now. I was in there and I feel bad. It's when I was best man for Graham.
I fucked it up. It really did. I was actually there for that. I think I felt your cringe as much as my own.
This is a little personal private cringe. That's fine. Tell me now. I'll cut out the podcast.
I don't know. I'm winking at you. I'm going to be at me. I'm going to be winking at you.
I'm going to be winking at you. I can't hear you. I'm not going to cut it out. I'm very loud.
Hang on. I'll just be my eye on the mic. I'm on the mic. No, it hurts.
Now, are you ready? I think we're ready now. Take away the silver one. Hello everybody.
Here I am in the house of pickles and I'm over the moon to introduce a great segment on the show. Everyone loves it. Here it is. It's time for silver moon splatters.
Who's the patron saint of the segment? Clyde McFatter, he's standing on top of Mount Grapards and he's going to give us the signal to start the show any second now. I can hear him. You may begin.
There it is, and let's get straight into it. Hello Mr Silverman. Now, here's what we're doing. Well, beating around the bush, here's what we're doing straight away on Silverman's Platters today.
I'll give you a little clue where it is. I'm going to stop the streets and houses, bungalow and high. That's the lyrics. Up above the street.
Rainbow's not all the top. When have you gone all the top of something? Would you say that cloud is all the top of the house? All the top of the street and houses, bungalow and high.
Let's do it again. We're doing the dirty version of the rainbow. We haven't even set the context of this. We've just gone straight into the big people's faces.
Just do bungalow. I just want one more pass at the clean take of it, please. All the top of the streets and houses, bungal, flying high. Open up his area and shits into his eyes.
No, Jeffrey's eye. Go to his idea. Don't go. Memories of rainbow.
Let's just tell people what rainbow is. Those of you who don't know what rainbow is. Oh, Wickey, you're so fine. You're so fine.
You're so fine. You feel our podcast with content? Oh, Wickey. Rainbow was a British children in the television series that ran from 12th to November 1972 until the 31st of December, 1992.
Wow, that's a long-running show. It's a very long-running show. It's a British equivalent to the long-running American educational You get muppets coming on it, don't you? The whole German show holds, there's a cross-note.
Was it only really Kermit who appeared on Sesame Street though? Kermit, I think Picky turned up or? I think what happened is in those scenes where he was the reporter, the Kermit, the reporter. The very terrible reporter.
In those stories. Oh yeah, they're all the muppets, I think they were parents from the Muppet Show. Yeah, characters from the Muppet Show. Other muppets.
I'll take your words for it. It was intended to develop language and social schools for pre-children's school. Pre-children's school children. Pre-children's school children.
I'm feeling refreshed. And when on to win the Society of Film and Television Arts Award, the best children's program in 1975. And a year from the record that we are covering today. You did.
So this is the other height of the rainbow, probably. And then five times a week weekly, twice weekly on Mondays and Wednesdays and Tuesdays and Fridays. And then finally once weekly at 1210 on Fridays on the ITV network. In 92, it must be just sad, sad.
So unfortunately the long time presenter, Jeffery, has passed. He passed a few years ago. Well, you have this weird thing, you know? Well, it's like there's a narrative.
There's a beat by beat way to tell the story. And you're like, bro, let's just go. Anyway, six-saturated around this. So each episode of Rainbow revolved around a particular activity or situation that arose in the Rainbow House.
There was Jeffery, the human, and he lived with three puppet characters, didn't he? There was Bungle, a bear. Yes, a large bear. There was George, a pink hippo, I believe.
And then Zippy, which I don't know what the puppet is. He's a creature whose face is zipped up, the mouth is just a zip and it's too hard. Imagine if it was too. It's similar to a maid of suede, like the hamburger or something, isn't it?
No, it's more like a kind of... Not the hamburger. The Maccheese, I'm thinking of. Oh, the Macburger thing.
The Maccheese. Yeah. That's not what I was thinking of. I never compared to Zippy to an anthropomorphic...
It's like a two-half thing. Flappy, clamshapes. He's got clamshapes, doesn't he? It's more just like a...
It's clamshapes. It's clamshapes. Take those eyes off, he looks like a clam. Yeah, he's cool.
I like Zippy. He's everyone loves Zippy. The role of Zippy, George and Bungle with a take on the role of Inquisitor of children. Asking the questions to me.
And Jeffery would be like, no, this is how it goes. Very successful, but the other major part of Rainbow was the music. And also the next door, Neighbours, who were Rod, Jane and Freddie. So that was in the world as the next door.
They'd pop in and they'd sing a song about whatever they were talking about this week. So that's not Freddie on top of the cover of Rainbow, the record that we're doing. This is where we get into the actual album we're going to talk about. So Eli, tell me about this album and where you found it and what it is.
It's some charity shop find. I don't remember which, Paul, but this is Rainbow. The album. Songs from Ten of Visions, award-winning children's programs.
But this is from 75 this album. So early days, it'd been running for two years at this point. It's 72 actually, so three years. Yeah.
And when did they win the award? This year. So this is basically the one they won the award and decided to do an album. Or they would just trade on the success of the show.
Here's the thing, this was uncommon. We've seen in the past there's a playschool album, there was a Rongle Ragtime, remember? We're Bob Jeffries or something, Rongle Ragtime, which is again like playschool puppets and songs and folk songs. I do remember seeing Ragtime.
It's for me, Rainbow was one of my earliest. Am I right in thinking they had the Thames logo? Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo. And then a Rainbow came over it.
I don't know if it did. It did. It was, it was, did it? Yeah, cool.
So they had that thing with the Iden being, because I used to get confused with the beginning of Pigeon Street, because I'm pretty sure that was a rooftop thing with Rainbows. But they did that clever thing where the Rainbow came over the Thames logo. I don't remember that. I'm not going to take you word for that as well.
It's going to be nice going. So this is yes, Rainbow, Simply Catitled Rainbow. And it has Rod, Matt and Jane. Those are the singers in this album.
Because when the show, who is Matt, tell them about Matt. So you think, who the fuck is Rod, Rod, Matt and Jane, right? Who is the famous 3-0-R? Rod, Jane and Freddie.
But Jane and Freddie, what's in a thing until much, much later? It started, the original trio was Rod Burton, Jane and Freddie. So they're the two mainstages. And then, the third was Matthew Corbett.
Where Rod and Jane going out? No. Oh, I prefer they had him. I think two of them got married later on.
Yeah, but not those two. I don't know. Matthew Corbett had to quit in 1976 because he's followed the retiree from doing SOTY. Yes.
And he took over in the 80s. He must have promised he would do the SOTY. No, it's like the family business, I guess. Like that retiring SOTY still popular, we can reboot it.
That's what I mean. It's funny that he did this, but in fact he was part of like a dynasty. It's sort of like an old school, almost like a circus. The Barry Hall's of Children did the same.
Like he had to bring the act on. I mean, it's old school. It would have been like a variety act, wouldn't it? Because they didn't have some acts.
Didn't his son take over when he retired or whatever? Yeah. But there he is. I can be very young on cover of this.
And they're bigger, aren't they? They're single enough. You mean bigger? One's in the size.
On the cover, they're more prominent. That's because they can either puppet or Jeffrey. It's all about Jeffrey, really. It's not.
It's not. The reason why those three are on the front cover is because they do 95% of the stuff on the album. Look at that rainbow badge there. That's what I want.
That Jeffrey's wearing. I want that rainbow badge. I want that rainbow. I want it shirt.
Well, here's the thing. Don't you think it's a curse to be the Corbett? It's like to be a daddy. When I grow up, I want to be a scientist.
No, you must take the mantle of SOTY. I know. I don't think I've been there with a lot of artists around the UK performing to disinterested children and old ladies and sort of... That's why I find fascinating.
He felt he had to do it. It wasn't just, Oh, this is going to be a great career if I do SOTY. I mean, was SOTY bigger than Rainbow? I don't.
It had been going for longer cause wasn't SOTY like a 50s thing. I went and saw it. SOTY showed. Life.
In the 80s. In London's West End. Then he had a little camper band saying, I didn't drive around. Yeah fucking wicked.
I love that camper band. I think about the sooty time. It's like the favourite thing with the props. I love the SOTY show in the 80s.
You know, we should be doing all of that. We should be in sweep and I love that set. What's the other one? Sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet.
And so, yeah. So I put it with a lot of. So you had to put it with a lot of shit. I mean, like a lot of these franchises, the central characters just twang.
Well, yeah, we had a slightly naughty teddy bear. But it was, we were all about sweet. No, it's all about sweet. It's all about sweet.
You come to the CTO for sweet. But you're stave for sweet. Because sweet. Fucking love, sweet.
He's a right little funny shit. I love him. Right. So that is, on this record, we don't have it, classic lineup.
But it means, but it could sing, couldn't it? Obviously, one of those plays can sing. They all play in, right, the songs. A lot of the songs are covers or reinterpretations of both classics.
Now, the first song we're going to listen to. No, no, wait. This doesn't end here. Because he made Matthew Corbett's on this version of the album on this trio.
When he left, he was replaced by an actor called Roger Walker. So it was Roger, Rod, and Jane for me. That doesn't work for me. Rod, Jane and Roger.