Ep. 233: How to Ask Questions That Draw Out Your Child's Heart

Ever walk away from a conversation and realize you did almost all the talking…again? As dads, we often think our "advice" is what will change our kids, when in reality, it might just be the questions we ask...or don't ask. In this episode, Kent and Lawson unpack why some men dominate every conversation, why others never ask anything deeper than small talk, and why a humble, curious dad is a great listener instead of a constant lecturer.   Kent tells the story of a simple question that completely disarmed him: "What kind of tension does that cause for you?" That one line forced him to search his own heart, not just react with an opinion. From there, the guys walk through why Jesus asked so many questions, how Proverbs 20:5 paints your child's heart like deep water, and what it looks like to draw it out instead of just "fixing" everything with quick advice.   You'll hear super practical examples of questions you can use this week with your kids, your wife, and even that talkative uncle at Christmas. Things like, "What was that like for you?", "Could you explain that to me a bit more?", and "What about that excites you or concerns you?" Plus, Kent shares his "clay on the wheel" analogy for shaping a conversation with your child using their words and their goals, not just yours.   If you've ever wondered why your kids don't open up, or you want to be a dad who talks less and understands more, this episode will help you step into holiday gatherings—and everyday moments at home—with a heart that is both curious and humble.   We've launched video now! Check out the video version of today's episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/nktheEfq93o   -----------------------------------------------------------------------   Range Leather: Support the show and upgrade your fatherhood swag. Shop Range Leather and get 15% OFF with code MJ15 Grab some fresh beans! https://rangecoffee.com/   Fatherhood Guard – Connect with dads from over 20 states and at least 2 countries by joining the Fatherhood Guard. Grab your welcome hat at https://manhoodjourney.org/donate/fatherhood-guard/     Buy Kent's latest book: Don't Bench Yourself on Amazon   Read the new State Of Biblical Fatherhood report here: http://manhoodjourney.org/sobf Find tools to share the report here: https://manhoodjourney.org/sobf-tools   Have a topic you want us to touch on? Well, get in touch! Send us an email at: [email protected]   -------------------------------------------------------------------------   About our hosts: Kent Evans is the Executive Director and co-founder of Manhood Journey, a ministry that helps dads become disciple-makers. After a twenty-year career as a business leader, he embarked on biblical Fatherhood ministry projects. He's appeared on television, radio, web outlets and podcasts. He's spoken at parenting and men's events, and authored four books. The first, Wise Guys: Unlocking Hidden Wisdom from the Men Around You, was written to help men learn how to find mentors and wise counsel. The latest, Don't Bench Yourself: How to Stay in the Game Even When You Want to Quit, aims to help dads stay present in their roles as fathers and husbands even when they feel like giving up. Kent's life has been radically affected by godly mentors and his lovely wife, April. They have been married thirty years and have five sons and one daughter-in-law. He lives in Louisville, Kentucky. Lawson Brown is husband to his high school sweetheart, a father of two young adult daughters, has been a business leader since 1995, and is a former Marine. He served as a small group leader for teenage boys for many years, helped start the Christian media ministry City on a Hill Productions, then later Sanctuary – a new church in Kennesaw, GA – where he served as its leader for Men's Ministry. Lawson's journey of faith has always been centered in a grounding from his wife, Audrey, and supported throughout by many men whom he's found as brothers along the way. His family is nearing an empty nest phase and has recently relocated to the Florida Gulf Coast beaches area.