Right. Hello. I know that you were chock full of chodneys when we did last week and you know it was a reasonably measured episode so I thought at the beginning of this let's get all your chodneys out. I don't perform for you like a seal like a fucking clapping wet seal splat splat splat do I go for you like a seal like a resentful maltreated seal with abscesses round its eyes clapping just like an automatic response.
It's just a thing it does for fish. This counter's your designated clapped trap. No it does not. It causes nothing.
I'm gonna say I count for nothing round here. My madness is gonna be described as a chomp me boroth moment from this point on. I'm not having a chod. I will not be pigeonholed by you or frankly the listenership and be and just jump for a hoop of boroth and spadney and chadney.
McRough to chat. I'm going to go. Hello. Hello.
My name is G-Show. I'm Eli Silverman and here is Paul Ganon. Welcome to the show. I'm sorry.
I hate you and your fucking noodle posse. I'm liking it. I'm liking it. I'm liking the way it's going in the vibe.
Yes. Right. So it's about time for me to say what we got coming up on the show today Paul. Today on the show we'll be deep diving into a tells from the dance shop stroke floor.
That's a different kind of shop. The stroke shop. The stroke shop. The stroke shop.
The stage is in it. Go around and get a go in the stroke shop. Get some relief now I mean. Yeah.
They want to see it to crown now. I'm not doing this week. Fuck this. I'm not doing this week.
You can't walk out. I can please don't. I won't. I love you.
We're doing that. And then we've got a very special edition of Eli's sort report. Even it's simple. It's just a basic cheap show episode.
No frills. No frills cheap show. It really is no frills. You've got to test go and got their basics.
I don't think they do them anymore. Do they? They're out of shame probably. Why?
We tasted their mayonnaise once. It was a heresy against food. It was bad. It was really weak.
I once bought when I was at university like a sack of their sausages frozen microwave sausages. You bought a sack of sausages. About 80 sausages. And they were in the freezer.
I've never heard of an 80 sausage pack for my whole first year. They were in there. And I ate some once and just thought that's disgusting. They were like tough little sprouts.
Do you know what I mean? They're meat and dehydrated, scroped eggs. Lovely. I don't know what I have to reply.
It was a dirty uni sausage sandwich. We do have to make an amendment because remember we mentioned last time. Yeah, dog Tannion and Willie Vogg. Spanish shows, not French.
Animated by the Japanese but produced by a Spanish company. And then totally re-scripted for the English version. I presume. I wonder if it was redubbed by some company.
But you know the way that they changed the whole story. Like magic roundabout is a famous example, isn't it? No, but I think in this case they went from a script because there was a script. The case of script.
The thing about magic roundabout allegedly was that. What's the name of the guy? It was ever Thompson's dad. What's the name of the guy who did Mr.
Thompson? No. Yes. It's a shame.
I'm right now. He was called Mr. Thompson a bit. Who related the magic roundabout?
Eric Thompson. Oh, I was off right. No. Well, yeah, Thompson.
Which I'd already told you. Yeah, I know. He's going to say like Chardonnay. That's an old biography.
Chardonnay. I didn't say Chardonnay. It's like that Leonard Nimoy book. You're going to be like, I am not Chardonnay.
That's what I was getting at. Yeah. So yeah. So the story goes by that.
He never actually listened to the original French version. I just improvised the story based on the footage. But isn't it basically the same process that goes on with the power ranges and all of these things where they completely re-power ranges different again because they just took the actual action footage of the fights and then they put American stories in where the other stuff would be completely retextualized. I guess I'm just trying to say generally a lot of jiggery pokery goes on when they especially cartoons and kid shows when they transport them across.
But in these instances. Culture culture. Yeah. But in these instances, I think they're just direct translations of the scripts.
Don't tell me. So that means what the city of gold that was what was the city of golden because that isn't listed in the same company. So I wouldn't want to put my foot down and say city of gold is one thing or another because we'll get just corrected again. Did you throw a bit?
I never did. Your city of gold. Oh, I never did. Oh, look at me.
Look at me. Top of the says coming out. Oh, shut up. That's your favorite word for my napping.
I need some creativity. That's right. Come on for Mr. Chodney.
I said not Chodney not once. When Mr. Chodney's parrot says, we're off. Right.
Well, that is enough of that nonsense. Okay. And we've got special tells from the dance floor. Don't we?
Yes. Well, we're going to get into that in a bit. I want to just state that going forward we've got some exciting episodes coming up. Oh, what we've got coming up in the pipeline for the dirty pipeline.
Well, that's the last one. What's coming out the arse? What diarrhea is squirting for my reddened and sore ring piece? Why?
Why is it red? No, I'm all the fucking great episodes that spurting out. You're alluding to the idea that every episode we generate comes with your heart out. Not my heart.
You just said your heart out the pipeline. Your pipeline begins and ends. Well, I think you're throwing your arse all. But it's interesting to say that because they think of your elementary canal as the outside of your body.
Did you know that? No. Because if you think about it, there's no end to the surface and act, call into your mouth all through your guts and then come out your bum. It would have entered your body.
Is this one of those designs that you see when someone makes a shape and it's like an ongoing surface where the income becomes the outcome? Yes, a climb bottle. Two Mobius strips. Climb wine bottles.
I've seen those. Have you really? Can't hold wine. I don't know what to have.
True climb bottle then. I think climb bottle. The show tunes and over-acting British comedy films. Did she do show tunes?
Did she do show tunes? Yeah. Yeah. It's a big bro.
He's on Broadway in his time. That's right. Yeah. Still married to Phoebe Kate's.
Who I know from? Well, she was in Gremlins and Gremlins too. And the famous scene in Fast Times at Ridgeman High where she's walking along the floor. I've never seen that film.
And she opens their bra. Is it Jud Nels? No, Jud Nels isn't it? Jud Reinhold.
He gets a stalker in the film. I don't know if you actually see his bulbous fucking hot rod. But it's implied that he's having a dirty dream. He's fantasizing.
I've never seen it. It's been on my list. I need to watch Fright Night, that Prince of Darkness. We got to say, in the lead up to 250, which is going to be a lovely episode.
We've got Nick Helman of Hangar Metcalf coming up in the next few weeks. If you like the guest episodes such as in Rant, which was last week, we'll be doing no semi-rigally. And the pearl of come, that's the guest. I imagine their heads coming out.
A little pearl. That's a little bit of a describe on guest episode. I'm just trying to build something. Mother of pearl guests.
We've got plenty guests coming up every two weeks. We've got that with Helman but also and Metcalf. We have a mystery coming up soon. I alluded to this on Twitter a few weeks ago because we've got a mystery package in the post.
And all it was was an attaché case with a logo burnt into it. What's an attaché case? It's an attaché case. It's a brief case.
It's a brief case. Yeah, you have a little class job. I don't know what attaché means. You don't.
That's why I'm here. Attaché. Attaché. I'm looking at what attaché.
Here we go. That's what the whole fucking show has become. Paul doesn't know something. Looks it up.
Fucking great content. There's a website here that actually says one of the different things. I'm actually into this now. I want to know.
Well, short let me fucking speak. I'm here too, Paul. I know. That's the problem with this fucking podcast.
Well, you wouldn't even be thinking about this if it wasn't for me. Yeah. What is the difference between an attaché case and a briefcase? Right.
For the most part, an attaché case and a briefcase are practically interchangeable. Okay fine. That's all I need to know. That's right.
An article. Fade basically there is no difference. Now here's the rest of the fucking article. Attaché was coined by the French, referring to an initiative member of the ambassador's staff and bachelors and their staff or attaché's carried their papers and documents in slim cases which became known as the attaché case.
Is it in a nutshell? But practically they are identical to briefcases. Yes. Let's keep calling it an attaché.
I like it. It's the espionage. Yeah. French.
Well anyway, we've got that. We've got a special attaché case with a whole episode in it. A mystery within it. I don't know where it came from.
What if it's like human body parts? Then we're not going to put that episode out. We'll call the police and then I'll have therapy. We'll have a whole bunch of human flesh.
Now tell me about what happened on the episode. Well, Doctor, I was just sitting there recording my innocent, jumly fun podcast called The Cheap Show. Ah, very interesting. With my good friend Eli Silverman.
Good, good, good, good, good. I was eating something. No, no, no, no. Chumly, this strange verbiage.
Where is this from? The other member of the trope as well, Tony? Yes, well, I've got a co-host on the podcast. Oh, yes, tell me about this.
It's like a actress called Eli Silverman. Ah, ah, we have a break for today. So anyway, we opened the suitcase up after a long, hard day of recording. And inside was all sorts of body parts.
I see this as organs, eyes, teeth and a bag. I see it. I don't know why and where it came from. Very interesting.
Now, for this, we need a detail. I need to read the metaphor in your everyday language for this piece. OK? Yes.
I was enjoying this. The briefcase. Where exactly is the briefcase? The briefcase now is in police custody.
You have to be in the... Are you getting this? Go, go, go! I'm going to show you the briefcase.
I've got a whole team. I have a team. Are you having your own pod cast together over there? Some kind of FB and old people.
Yeah, I was liking it. I thought there was a different... He wasn't a real doctor. He was just trying to get you to say.
How long did that take? Three minutes? All right, go that round up to the end of the segment. Oh, go to the sound effect now.
Go to the sound effect right about me. Galloping towards it. What a lovely sound effect. Do you want me to cheap show myself?
Paul Ganon. Can I introduce it again? I'm just a little one. They might have forgotten.
The sound effect made people forget what we were doing. Sometimes you get this whole effect where it starts to stretch it out. Someone's driving into the podcast. And then they hear that...
Where am I? Where am I? I'm just reassuring. You're driving.
You're a cheap show listener. You're listening to me. I'm Paul Ganon on cheap show. Get ready for the hilarity to come down.
to come down. See now all that means that this segment's going to be dirty dog shit. Dirty dog shit. Dirty dog shit.
I've told you if I ever heard one. You've cursed it with dirty dog shit. You eat clean dog shit. You eat clean dog shit.
It's safe to eat. Yes. You stuff it in your nose. Safe to eat land goos dog eggs.
Now, so we're going to start this segment of the show with a segment that we haven't really had much of with there being a lockdown but Eli has assured me that he's got a tales from the dance floor. It's a classic. It's a classic. Is it?
Oh DJing right? By classic do you mean it's the same store you've told at least a hundred times on the podcast now as a new version of it because you've got nothing else to show for your time DJing. Yeah. I'm DJing.
It's early in the night. Right. Two young lady cow early in the night. We talked like before the first band comes on.
Yes. Right. It's sort of maybe 940. 940.
Not warm up time. People are still maybe eating. Yes. The beginning.
You're going to throw up. What do you want to go with on? Just keep coming in Africa. You'll let some kind of weird muppet when you do it.
Why is the victory all come out? It's just like zipping you look like a little while we sit there. I was being professional and trying to mask my slight burp from the audience's ears. I know you just go that out.
Grinch. I'm not eating. Right. Oh, Eli's gone all fucking snotty.
I'm going to let you do the podcast by yourself. No. No. I don't need to be here any more.
I've got to edit and put it out. No, you do. What are we talking about? Exactly.
Fuck it out. Can I put a sound effect on the fact that you weren't fucking looking? I know they distract me a lot from who I am. Come on.
You fucking cunt. No, it's Tails from the dance floor. Yes. DJing.
Yes. It's nice. Early in the night. Yeah.
People are finishing up eating. Some people are coming in and getting ready for the mites events. They're going to be slightly lower than the background still at this point. And two young ladies come up.
Got it. And they come over and I'm sort of queue up the next record. So I'm like one minute. One minute.
He's in the middle of the place. Queue up the next record. I'm doing the grin. Yes.
I'm talking about how you queue it up because maybe people don't know the secrets of mixing as a DJ. You just have to slap the record on and play. You have to get the record into a place where you can start it basically instantly when the last tune has ended. Because on those records, there's not a lot of build up of speed because you have to play it kicks off.
No, they are. They're very quick. Yeah. Because there is a certain limit of angle.
If it's too close, it will do that. You'll hear that. You've got to get the needle right. It's about three quarters of a turn.
Yeah. It's about three quarters of a turn. So you need to line that record up with the needle. So it has to do that three quarters turn before it plays.
Yes. It's less than a second ladies and gentlemen. It's not actually that difficult technique to learn. I'm trying to like care.
It's fine. It's fine. It's not the point of the story. I was queuing up the next record.
I just think it needs more color to make this story. Oh, give this a fucking color. Wait. I'm building up the color hill.
I'm going up to you. We're in the monotone. We're in the mellow part of the story. And then I'll start playing the bangers.
It's just on board. You can shut up. That's what you can do. Yeah.
Chug a leaf off, off. There you go. I've committed something. I've just never interjected with a noise just out of nowhere.
Like, splandridge or... Oh, that's one. E-bow-mon-scomory. Anyway, so they come over.
I found out that my drag act name would be Valerie Softman. I don't know how you can type in an answer. No, I have no answer. In the last name and the last candy or sweet you ate.
I've got two names. Whatever you want. And the last soft candy I ate. That's like a bunk.
Right. That's not a... I'm Valerie Softman. Yeah.
I've both had very similar last soft. I like Softman, though. Very Moorish. But they give me the runs.
They like to pack in one go. Mints are a lactative, aren't they? They can be. On tic-tac, they say...
Don't fackin' shoot yourself. Don't eat all these tic-tacs or you'll kiss. Don't eat seven packs of these and then drive to Edinburgh. Or you'll shit for the eye of the middle.
You'll be fuckin' shitting in your seat, driving. And then you'll get stopped by the police and they'll come and go, Get out of the car! And you can't. You can't get out and sloshes down your legs.
Oh, shit! That's so badly! You're right. Right.
Right. No. So they come out. Hey, tell you what, if you did shoot yourself, no cops are going to frisky then, are they?
No. So you're saying... Pat down. Becomes a splat down.
Yes. You're giving a pat down and you feel a turd hanging out of his jockeys and as you squeeze his thigh or something, it just snips it and drops it down. What am I talking about? You've got a session, one of your sessions.
I've seen it. It's about snipping, poosing off. Mate, I think we talked about this with Biffle. No, no, we did.
I mean, it's like a turd and ass. Yeah, you would like to. Yeah, I wouldn't like to. It's like dirty man play-doh.
I'd like to take a shit and push it through one of those play-doh head-dohs. Oh, no, you wouldn't. Oh, ho! I make a little shit.
You'd see stuff you didn't need to see. A little components of the structure of the poo. Like little edges of leaves. Yeah, but you'd like it to be very uniform, which means just eat one thing.
I think as an art installation, I'd like to use my fecal matter as like on play-doh toys across the board. You're like, like, make a better burger or something like that. Where you make a little patty. I'm out.
I make a little patty. Oh, he's dead. Poodle. Unkey Grumble is dead.
No. Uncle Grumble, who makes all of his food by hand. Literally. So these young ladies come over and say hang on a second, killing up the next record, so how do you do that?
So you take the record and you put it on the end. Just don't back with me. You just put it on and play it. When you hear it start, you pull back from that by stopping it.
And then you fucking... Here we go. Go for it. You fucking calm everywhere in the booth all the time.
Is that probably the best you had. Like, come in your booth. You pull back to you and I say, yeah, I pull back my foreskin and I go, oh, what's that myth? Oh, it's sweaty back in the face.
So small, you pull your foreskin back in with all your balls. Ooh, doesn't make sense. Does your balls pop out your foreskin? I think don't.
You're pulled already there. What do you mean? They're tucked in so low. I'm thinking this is so small when you actually pull back your balls.
You're doing this popping your balls out the front. Right. Oh, anyone missing this quality content from last week? Oh, they're getting their money's worth today.
So forget about my mind, you bollocks. It's a mess. Nestled in my foreskin. Yeah.
Right. I'm going to have your head. I won't. You know, there's a new baker's round here.
Okay. No, it's cool. No, it's cool. Now, ballskins.
Now, this is a relatively issue. Yeah. Do you think this is not a good thing to call your bakers, right? Yeah, go on.
So they bought cakes and breads. Yeah, it's like the coffee and cakes. It's a bit hipstery. Right.
It's called the dusty knuckle. I know what they're thinking. You know what I mean? They need the bread.
But to me, I just like, I cannot get out of my mind. You know what? It comes into my mind. It's like a camel.
I'm making a mark with the moisture of the joining. On some sand. That is a leap. I did not see coming.
I was a thousand. You're going to be damaging the cow. Kneeling down. Yeah.
Kneeling down. So it's funny. It's like on the sand. Leaves are sort of damp.
A little pear-shaped. Yeah. That's a dusty knuckle. No.
It's dusty. I was thinking. It's a camel toe. No.
But camel toe has a knuckle, doesn't it? Yeah. See? See?
My knuckles don't have knuckles. Look at that. That could be your family. I'm showing in my two fingers.
I was just thinking a dusty knuckle if you wank off a mummy or something. Yeah. Good. Good.
Good. I'm sorry. Mr. Camelfanny.
Do you think it's inappropriate though? They shouldn't call it the dusty knuckle. Baker's. I gave my girlfriend the dusty knuckle.
No. No. No. No.
No. No. No. No.
No. No. No. No.
No. No. No. No.
No. No. Alright. So I go, no, and they're all going in a 80's and I go.
And I did lose one ten per bit, but not like two envelity like raising my voice. Yeah. And I just say, it's visibly annoying. I just say look.
It's the Blues kitchen, it's gonna be fun console, so a blown out colored sound. Maybe just that. Maybe a rock. Oh, and I didn't think I'd raise my voice first.
It's not the place for 80's. Walk to hell with the fuck? That means, that could be. Any number of genres principles.
What they've given me is so bad information. 80's means music produced within the decade of the 1980s. You've got a mix of electronic. You've got a uhh, you know, like nu diving music, could be beans.
to say this is my guess but I would guess there was more music recorded music put out in the 80s yeah then probably all the previous decades of the 20th century put together probably true to me I know burgeoning the music that's like because they want to get access to it easy and it's a huge decade for like a amount of music put out yeah isn't it yeah annoying isn't it so I said look no it's gonna be blues and fun console all night it's the blues kitchen yeah it's not gonna get the 80s kitchen is it that's one of them then as she was walking off I calm down calm down calm down I'm sorry calm down sorry what's your harry unfilled scouled character no she's I calm down on in your head you went no I'm sorry she's a pretty good you where but in what she said was no it's a rude game I can't say fuck off I didn't touch my nose I didn't you do anything like that you did all those things and I'm accurate anyway it was yeah that's a story but nothing came of it it was a great night on everyone's dancing so they had a bit less of a case you know the minute yeah well to be made that's a test from the dance floor guess what they're back Paul guess what I've been through this together now they're back tells them the dance floor back yeah I'd rather jack then fleet would back no heavy metal rolling stolen music from the master I'd rather jack jack jack then fleet would make I hate that fucking song terrible song no Reynolds sisters and the whole idea is that they want to dance to we don't want to hear your music daddy oh we don't want to hear the classic yes we want to hear our music does anyone dance to fucking Reynolds girls anymore no they don't but they still get up a boogie to a reefer Franklin or fleet with Mac they do and yes it was a sort of manufactured sort of generation gap thing yeah wasn't any sort of you know the main world don nights when the party's hard and the fever drive you wild were they so wrong no okay then what they were repulseses yeah that's the thing the message was repulses that's the one that goes we didn't feel all right that's melon Kim that's good yeah fresh happy weekend showing up do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do see that's the best positive message like getting ready to go out going out and having a fun excellent time oh oh you daddy oh yeah anything like this it's not like you uncool it's like inclusive this is a song it's just it's just it's our senior we're dancing it we're loving it like that's big flm fun love money that's another one of those and not as good though no fresh is a week after it was particularly strong considering the stable it came from melon Kim it gets the cheap show we recommend this year's only does bring right so this is a letter from Dylan Brinkling guess what it details from the dance floor what oh you're wrong it's surely the shop floor which is our segment where people write in the bathroom and thrift stores and charity shops and working in retail more generally usually with shit but now this is a tale from the dance floor from Dylan Brinkling and he says hello hello is it DJ yeah oh yeah how is he fucking play then I reason I don't I'm not gonna stay around for this I'd like to watch other people working as DJ you may find a not be there on the night you may find a sense of self pride when I read the letter out so can I get on with it absolutely right so hello there I recently got a job being the in-house DJ for my local pub now calling myself a GJ is a bit of a stretch essentially I'm a glorified MP3 player and I play whatever people ask for but luckily enough most of the locals have good taste so I can play a few of my own tracks without any protest oh god since working there however I've had three tales from the dance floor I would like to share them with you both of these happen on the same night word of warning one gets kind of ugly three he says three and then said both because I think mafrader is going off very basic mafrader does he not say he says three I got to tell you no maybe he's saying he's got three stories but two happened on the same night he's saying two not both of them because it's referring to the whole story one during my set as part of a deal with the owner I have to go around and after there's any songs people would like to be played pressing oh god I think if you were asked to go around the blues kitchen with a note pal I'd say what do I listen to 80s oh at least you could say all right then move on they could say dirty dancing I should know this is what I think I should when they said 80s I shouldn't have argued and yeah yeah yeah they'll be saying this to you just say yeah and then they never come back and then they wouldn't be like calm down yeah or take a bit of paper and say just write it down there yeah and then they write down the good yeah now as you can imagine that leaves me with quite a a hodgepodge of genres to deal with and can be rather jarring shifting from something that I like like I want to hold your hand to maybe cream by the Wu-Tang Clan which he doesn't like it's he's something I like to make it jump so after I take the request I build a playlist and kind of group songs together and fill in the rest he curates it so he builds a playlist so he builds a play so he doesn't actually have to DJ it all he doesn't have to select the tunes in well I mean I don't know how he's set at works but you know I can imagine he's set some playlists and just yeah I mean I'm not saying it's not work but that's not really do you know what I mean he's nothing we've just pressed play and then you can just drink one point after another so not bad not bad little gig so yes so he takes the request and fills in the rest during one part of my set I'm playing a lot of roots reggae yeah and first or second wave scar nice as I'm playing this very clearly first and second wave scar does he says it nice he means the two tone is the second wave stuff as I'm playing this I think he means please put a comma in there Dylan see it's terrible as I'm playing this I've clearly very drunk woman approaches my booth and asks you get a play any scar and I tell it yeah I'm playing it now is there anything you'd like in particular and she slows out the specials and it's like the specials he's actually playing now well now I have a look at the songs I've queued up and I see one of the songs coming up is the specials so I tell her yeah no worries goes down it's coming up she stumbles away it doesn't mention it yet she stumbles away and the song I'm currently playing isn't even finished before I see her again she then asks even more annoying you're gonna play the specials and I tell it yeah they're coming up don't worry then she shoots both the bare hands in the ear and yells at the top of their voice monkey man monkey man and then disappears that's two to the mate's rules monkey man is it as well yeah that's what she starts yeah so he's not thinking this is some kind of weird and I think the specials may have done a cover of it actually really yeah so what she said wasn't completely random it's fantastic tune and it was on the heart of the car you know the movie with Jimmy Cliff oh yeah the soundtrack to that that's when I first heard it and it's a big sort of skinhead favorite okay so yeah early skinheads in the case people didn't know when the movement started yeah they were into Jamaican music a lot more music confused the skinhead movement for like the far right movement well it became part of them yeah whatever it's a big cat of fish I'm not sure what this is England I can't have thought it's a big it's a big it's a big but that was a big it's a big skinhead to gene it's a fantastic tune to tibbit it's giving like one of giving it all its vocal performances in the genre I'd say so that's the only one this is the only two which is the other one okay also yeah it's we've discussed it on a tells from the dance floor before a number of times one of the classic things that will happen is you put James Brown on then people come over and they think they're clever because they've self-consciously been keen to go oh can you play some James Brown and you're thinking yeah it is on it is actually on them they bring it I can't actually relate this to you without being a bit condescending because you're not playing like the big hit like I feel good yeah you know what i mean definitely comes down to you're not playing that one chain that I heard on the radio 18 times you know right so you're starting to slightly ugly earlier the same night I'm playing some 90s early 2000s hip hop the kind of conscious jazz stuff think tribe called quest or public enemy nothing that was scare anyone off as I'm playing this this man who had never seen before approaches the booth I've drove up around this pub since my father often drank verse so as a result I know most of the locals and they know me so it's not that I've never seen this guy before he was a proper English bulldog looking man squat no neck pail ski oh no round balding head he comes up to my booth and asks when are you going to stop playing this censored word music and bomb yeah music now in the world that's terrible I never had anything like that no I can't imagine I'm feeling particularly happy or safe about what he's doing that's terrible especially when you've got a fucking gormous bruising cunt like that coming out yeah now in the normal context I would end the conversation right there and don't fuck off but this is my second night and I was hired to make the punters happy and I thought I don't want to upset the apple cart too much so I still know what music would you like me to play and then he pauses to think and without any self-awareness he goes have you got any reggae yeah but is that because maybe he's one of those old-school skillets that sounds like he's probably that was used to that and then became rated up what doesn't in his head know to the difference I mean it just is another example of just the absurdity of those beliefs do you know what I mean just the complete inconsistency and absurdity yeah and just you know stupidity of it but conno I'm glad I've never had a tell from the dance floor that has been like that I'd literally fucking beat him to death with the microphone I think you're the microphone is on I think that audience here every hit of the mic I don't want to come across like Metrobollocks in the lead but that is a sort of more of a small town sort of vibe to it yeah that wouldn't happen in London it's huge it would have been fucking blues kitchen please not what you know awful uglier uh no he said he didn't play the reggae because he was asked I had a lot of requests that night for reggae in spite of the dude and I kept playing more hip hop to piss him off nice yeah emissites he said he didn't play me the skull reggae he didn't do all the last hour of my set by that time he'd fuck off of course they always fucking anyone like that always fuck so just the fuck it is he's sitting there he goes fuck this I'm gonna make a scene or do something and assert well didn't he did well to deescalate it because what you can't really tell him to fuck off without escalating the scene so yes yes I'll sort that out by everyone yeah again yes he should take a leaf out of not what I don't do go fucking sit over there and eat a glass ashtray you cons yeah it's what you'd like to say that would probably be the wrong thing yeah so no because what happened in real life I said please don't hit me please no please don't have that guy who's saying I had a fucking play can't buy me love can't hurry don't hurry love can't hurry love can't don't worry shouldn't worry love what he's actually called no the Diana Ross one the rigid brains one you can't you can't hurry love no you just have to wait don't worry don't worry love yeah love though yeah actually it's sick but I was like going to play it and he was insistent and came over and was like really aggressive fucking play it like I mean please what specifically the Phil Collins version no well at least the Diana Ross one it's fine which is the I'm just saying the phone yeah the the sense of ownership and anger and sort of violence like because you can't have a song you could literally go on your phone in three seconds off by if you wanted to it's a weird sort of power balance isn't there and that's why I think incidents like what happened with the racist it's like yeah by he knows that the DJ's is kind of focused where you know the mean it's like conduit for your taste yeah yeah first in the final story so I'm going to the end of my set and this guy comes up an asfidamian by DMX never of it now he's another hip hop thing okay now if he did actually that guy died recently oh okay he was in movies in like the in the early 2000s oh yeah yeah okay I'm going to give it to you right now if he asked earlier I'm pretty sure I could have got away with it but since I was legit on my last songs I told him I'd love to but I can't boss his orders now he wasn't accepting no for an answer I just kept on asking and every time I would tell him the same thing sorry mate I can't play anything else near the end of a track listing blah blah blah and this kept on until I stopped and started packing up and now this guy now having to deal with the fact that he isn't getting the song he wants played then begins to wrap the whole song to me oh yeah this is this is typical the only thing is trying to get into leave but nothing will stop this man who's quest to hear this song eventually another patreon joins him and begins to beat box it was like watching a scene out of chains like what Bob oh I couldn't imagine that you'll be right out yeah I had something similar when it was like my mate was freestyle my mates were freestyle can we play something mate freestyle mates were my mates were freestyle and then the guy they were pissed as well I'm probably on the packet on the yeah and the Charlie horse power he literally knocked this whole pint onto this techniques 1210 the deck and on purpose my friend Johnny drop he's a great musician and DJ when I checked someone out he was DJing at the time yeah and he immediately went find it out get out fucking get out and he's taking the deck apart yeah knows how to take the whole plate off and he's yeah he's mopping the beer it from inside the sort of thing top of the mechanism yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah and all the time I fuck off and all the guy being like oh my mate was a freestyle which you know it's not gonna happen and I would tell have I said about the wasn't the first one of the post pandemic my first new tale from the dance floor was a couple of weeks ago wasn't it was about she wanted to sing Amy Winehouse yeah you know it's always because you're like again like you're this conduit like people think you've got the mic and you know I want to get all the time it's like it's end of 24 can you say that I don't have a mic the thing is though part of me is fine but I don't have a mic no one's gonna give me a mic to do birthday shout outs no one's this isn't fucking capital breakfast it's the cheesiness you know yeah it's a horrible turn of events but on the bright side that's funny that you knew the whole song but it's also funny then because you think what was your motivation in wanting to hear it you didn't really want to hear it you wanted to perform it you wanted to show people that you knew all the lyrics do you want too many John Hughes films with the star the film gets on stage and that's around yeah and actually real life what happened is we cut to a largely empty pub and two fucking dick and go yeah the beatbox I want to know is the interest more interesting character the beatbox mate is ready to jump up it's like got his cue yeah and then the camera slowly quietly pans away from the camera there's just Dylan packing up his fucking CD is it called Dylan yeah Dylan and so it's all slowly panning away comes out of the pub door in the street is this lonely shot these two guys and then the cat comes into shock anyway they've been off extra bum but tell us the fan floor thank you thank you I enjoyed this it's the noise coming through into the studio the noise of the information related to errator source coming in every day all day you're cleaning the radio masked and those pulses or individual pieces of data about sorts here we are with the foot of the tower pool what does it always say that you ruin it Baht with the noise it was a piercing horrible prill That's very high level data coming through about sources were from where to the kind of out in the Cosmosphere, the source information roams, and then it collects in hydrostatic electric clouds, bouncing internally, oh, the builds up the pressure of the source info, and here it comes, arching, arching across the sky. You asked me where it came from, to be fair to me. Arching across the sky into the antenna. What are you making on there?
I'm ejecting this. I'm ejecting this. I'm ejecting this. Yes, it's the source report.
Hello, I'm Eli Silverman. And I'm Paul Ganon, co-host on the source report, and I'm the part of the show where we deliver the hottest news about the hottest sources. And what have you got coming in right now about Sourcepool? Well, I've had a few letters come in to the post-bag recently, and they're asking, what's happened to Action Jam news?
Well, don't worry, ladies, the other one's asking about it. Action Jam news is on the way. Action Jam news is coming. I've got some hot jams on the way.
Maybe some jellies. I thought I made it clear in the meeting that Action Jam news is perfectly acceptable. As a sub-sabstimate, I keep hearing the emails. Where's the Jam news?
Where's the Jam? What happened to Action Jam news? How are they communicating in a higher pitched voice? They type it in a tab.
What else was in the dream that you had with the big twin? I had this dream of a source. No, I had this weird dream of a source. It's this hot white milky kind of source.
And it was coming at me through some kind of ovipositor. Just firing hot squelches in my face. And like, Anne Rapus, but I'm loving it. I went over to you for a little bit of summary of today's hot source news.
What's today's? You're the re-somer. That's what the summary is. I don't know.
I don't know. I don't know. I was just saying I was just a source-based chit-chat before we get into the meeting. I was telling people about the source.
I was telling people not to get too disheartened about the fact that there's been no action jam news for a while. I'm working on it. I've got some lovely jams coming your way soon, I promise. Loud and clear on action jam.
To the hundreds of people who emailed begging me to bring back action jam news. Oh good, all good, all good. And they also said, less source report please. No, no, no, no.
A source report audience. Well, I can get their own fighting shots. I can feel the weight of the change coming. I can see the slick slidey of the sticky slides.
The sticky slides. Slidey with the scales. The scales. Are there wasps?
We can go all day with this. No, I know we go all day with this. Right? Now.
It's fucking verbal slop. Oh, let me respond. OK? Yeah.
No. The action jam news will not take over the source report. It feels like the way to the world's turning on it. It never will.
What? Jam's bigger than source. Yeah. Let's put it to the people.
Right. Hashtag action jam news. Jam is a subcategory of source. Is anyone's lexical?
No. It's not. No one will ever put jam and source in the same category, other than things you keep in class. They're in a condiment category.
Are they? They're both sub condiment categories. Yes. Are they?
You're saying jam isn't a condiment. What is it? A preserve. It's a sweet preserve.
Sweet preserve. Yes. Subcategory of a condiment. To me is much more kind of saucy or spicy or peppery.
Yeah. The jams are lovely. What about? Because I've seen these.
You can get garlic jam. Yeah. See, I've got all these jams in the back pocket. That's more of a savory side.
So that's broken your rule. No, because it's not a proper jam, is it? OK. There will be no take over.
I will be including jam sessions where I'll be including bands. Come on, the show and just jam with me. And we talk about jams. Yeah.
Maybe Robinson Robinson. Robinson Jam. I'll show into a kind of hipster layback jam. How about this?
I don't clean for a week. And I make sure I've got that. Ball jam. Yeah.
Fag jam. I call it fag jam. Fag jam. Yeah.
Do you know how I smell fag jam? A phad. Yeah. Fag.
Yeah. Well, I was growing up. See, boys, called ladies vaginas. No, that's a vag.
No, but we called them fag jam. No, you fucking didn't. No, you're a stupid shit. I'm going to do a stupid young boys.
I'll give them my fag smearing. And I'll put it on your nose when you mention jam. And I'll go smell my bollock sweat. My solid.
And if it passes a pH, I'm happy with it. With it with the second. And a cracker. Now.
Fag cracker. That's not like an insult. Let's not say it again. You fag cracker.
On a source related note, get your fag cracker out. I recently bought some cupi mayonnaise. Do you like that? I love giving you nothing.
Mayonnaise is a sauce. Yeah. Right. Today on the source report, we'll be tasting some sauces.