Ep 244: The Pleasing Trigger - Social Grasping and Neediness

Even if you’ve done a lot of work on yourself, feel confident and seated in yourself, there can be new situations when you recon with an unexpected and uncomfortable need to please or be liked by others that even if you disagree with it logically– can betray your intellect. This is a response that is often triggered by new social situations or conditions that remove you from your definition of self. It might happen when you’re entering a tightknit group that is not based in “who you are” or grow slowly in a situation where you are not aligned with the core group. Regardless it feels disconcerting and can catch you off-guard asking “What is happening??” I’ll call it 'the pleasing trigger.’ The feeling that we have to fit in and be liked can be intense and desperate, one that is triggered at any age– often when we are in a new forced social situation like a new professional sphere. Know that if this is happening to you it’s not because you are weak or unevolved, it’s because you are wired the way all humans are wired. These milestones when we feel the need to fit in might be when we are entering a life stage that is new with a new social group.   Support this week’s sponsors!   Gabb Gabb is offering twenty-five dollars off any device—with no contract required. Just go to Gabb.com/HELPMEBEME to get started. Terms and conditions apply.   Prolon Just in time for the new year, Prolon is offering Help Me Be Me listeners FIFTEEN PERCENT off their 5-day nutrition program for your post-holiday glow-up when you go to ProlonLife.com/HELPMEBEME   Vionic Use code HELPMEBEME at checkout for 15% off your entire order at www.vionicshoes.com when you log into your account. 1 time use only.   Lume As a special offer for listeners, new customers GET 15% ALL Lume products with our exclusive code - Use code HELPMEBEME for 15% off your first purchase at LumeDeodorant.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices