I'll just not recall you now. All right, Gold. Hello, everybody. Hi, it's time for the...
Nah, fuck this. I'm not... Eli, Jacob, so... You both need to know when to come in.
And this is when things get serious. I'm getting serious now. Eli, don't stop. You wanna go?
I'm not on a sour note. All right, hold on, my heart. Yeah, you're hot. Thanks.
How hot am I? You can fuck off. All of you. Just because I mentioned the terminology that I use in my...
I like it. You're listening to Fang Club and we're here. I'm joined by Paul Ganon and Eli Jacob. Actually, yeah, we're afraid of this.
We put your theme music in right now. I'm sorry, guys. Come on, stop the show. Shut the fucking show.
Hello, welcome to Cheep Show. Right, that's it. Now I'll play the credit. Stop recording.
That's it. All right, does that look right? I hate you and your fucking moodle-hoppy. And people love noodles.
It's just a factory show you're gonna have to learn to fucking expect. Cheep Show. Up, round, round, round, round, round, round. Cheep Show.
It's the price of choice. Eli, still holding. Welcome to Cheep Show. And a girl in an unzle.
Hello, welcome to Cheep Show. The Economy Company podcast. Eli and I go for the bargain in the charity shops. Our power lands are great Britain.
And sometimes beyond. To find the treasure we find amongst the trash. And this week we've got two other guests. Hooray.
I'm not doing the clap thing. That's like Steve Wright in the morning. Yeah, right. Steve Wright in the afternoon.
Oh, yeah, he's in the afternoon, isn't he? Yeah, well done. Nightly, latey reference. We have two guests on the show today.
Please join us in welcoming them. This is what I do when I forgot their names. Oh, no. No, call them for the fucking names.
I try to call something bold and beautiful to welcome these two. Fantastic. Bold and beautiful guests onto this bold and beautiful podcast. So please, boldly and beautifully.
Please, applaud the arrival of the bang and back coffin. Nick Helm. You got your clapping, though. So I did work.
Oh, my God. Hello. Welcome to the show. Yeah, it's like Steve Wright in the evening.
It's like time of day. It's like in the two AM bed shift. I'd like to see Steve Wright electric blue. I wouldn't.
You're the only person who's ever said I would like to see erotic interpretation of Steve Wright. I've got like Steve, right? I don't mind saying it. Oh, Steve, thank you.
Come across well. Do you know what? I miss his Saturday night. I'm a Chetter.
I'm a BBC one. I'm into Mark Owen. Mark Owen said that he's only got small hands. So he doesn't like women with big breasts.
You got into all of the nuggets better than that. That's a terrible take. There would take. Well, it's not mine.
Mark Owen. Yeah, it's terrible. Yeah, actually said that it's grandma. Thank you.
Any more than a handful. Any more than a handfuls of waste. It's the one thing that's stuck with me since Steve Wright's show. But it's probably best not to get.
No, it's in a room together and up a podcast. So when did you first start? Sorry, sure. Are you going into people already?
Yes, still. I think it's really funny that as I'm professional as this has been so far. It's literally like we'd be in school on how to do it. Has your podcast as much?
No one learns anything from this podcast. You need to calm down, mate. Why? I'm excited.
I'm excited. Can I just say going back to the tip thing very briefly? Yes, of course. That was a phrase that did go around a lot, didn't it?
Any more than a handful. I think that's weird. It sees the breasts or a waist. I think it came from apples originally.
You know if you carry too many apples any more than a handfuls of waste? Anyway, coming up on the show today, what have you brought up with you today? Yes. Great.
I have sauce. Okay, that's true. That's the sauce for the sauce for the sauce. We're doing this first-ever guest special sauce report.
Have we never done a sauce report with a guest before? Never given sauce to a guest. No. Are you looking forward to the sauce?
You're a big hot sauce, isn't it? I like hot sauce. I've sort of settled on my burn now. What is your brand?
A holyfock sauce. Holyfock. I've heard of that. I've heard of holyfock.
Why do you like it? Is it because it blends at high level of heat but also has the flavour to bag it up and no carrot? It's very, hang on. I need to ask some backup questions.
It's very hot. It's very hot. It's very sweet. It's delicious.
It's flavour and heat. What's consistency like that? It's quite, you know what, it depends on the batch but the batch I've got at the moment is quite thick. Where it's like ketchup.
Yeah, we had one of those the other day. The biwang pew pew. Yes. Biwang pew pew.
You know what, I tried it on my eggs this morning. Really? I can't believe I gave it a good review the other day. What if you're like, what if you're sort of fishy or something?
And also you don't have this morning. We have this morning. We have this morning. It's full of chicken shit.
You opened the egg and it was off. I was like, what are you talking about? Oh, I had such a morning. Come on, tell me your story.
Hang on, hang on, hang on. Just to say that Nathaniel loves eggs and I hate them. No, he's disgusted. It's never happened to me before and I honestly, wow.
Excuse me, darling, it's never happened before. Can we talk about carrots in a pot? Oh, yes. We do that on this podcast.
There's a whole segment of the podcast called The Source Report. It's not my favourite section of the show just for the record. I don't listen to my own podcast. No, that's fine.
We don't either. The source report, and there's been an explosion, especially in the sort of... You've called the hipster market of hot sauces in recent years. Loads of people thinking, similar to craft beer, oh, we can do this.
I've got a bath and I've got some vinegar. Yeah, exactly. I've got loads of chillies. I've got some pubes.
They've never made your own hot sauce. What these people often do not understand is the difficulty with hot sauce in particular in getting a consistency that isn't just watery because a lot of hot sauce is simply vinegar and then mashed chillies, the flesh of the mashed chillies, and then it just sort of... It's the whole Tabasco debacle all over again. Exactly Tabasco's watery.
But they want a thicker one and you know what they do? They end up putting mashed carrot in their hot sauce. So if you see all of the colourful six-queed bottle of like in the whole of earth. It's only bastard sauce.
Anything, oh, that looks good. Ooh, and then you look at the fucking second ingredients carrot. Shum that sauce. Put the sauce back on the shelf.
That's a shit sauce. Carrot stuff, bullshit, hipster sauce. Right, do you want to know what's happening? Can we just ask another question?
Is the carrot for consistency or colour? It's for both. It's actually for both, yes. Because that's a good point actually, because an orange nast of hot sauce does seem to add.
You think, oh, it's like yellow peppers. Do you know what I mean? And which those scotch bonnet, those yellow ones are some of the hottest and they're nice. They've got lovely flavour, a scotch bonnet or yellow.
I think it's because you've also got your red sauce and your brown sauce already. So an orange sauce, you associate with like a sort of third sauce. You don't confuse it. Where do you stand on white sauces then?
White sauces. Yeah, like a... Is it sour cream? Yeah.
Sour cream. I love sour cream personally. I think sour cream is delicious. Especially with carrot.
You don't like mayonnaise, do you? I don't really mind. I'm fancy that we get two lovely guests on the show and we're asking them about their mayonnaise opinions. I don't like the way that supermarkets and like Marx's Spencer's use mayonnaise as a butter substitute in all their sandwiches.
Right. Yeah, yeah. Good point. No, mayonnaise has its place.
I love it. But in certain sandwiches, butter is infinitely better because you know one of the best things about butter in a sandwich is to make this podcast. It insulates the bread against sogginess in a way that the mayo won't. It forms a layer.
It forms a seal. You're listening to our radio and we're trying to... Tell me your sad story. Right.
So I was going to bring in my portable record player and I was working like last night in the morning. I had a fucking issue with my own accounts. Anyway, he stood on two of them and he had my headphones on. He's going to be like protecting the front of the stage where they're playing the gig.
Where's the American issue? Take that out. That's a great place. Right.
We should all go. Now, also there was a cheap show found lurking around outside. Where does he like work? Where does he go there?
I was like, I was like, I've got in. He would literally. What did he look like? Because that's what I wanted to talk about.
That's what I was talking about. The bounce of ruined my records. He had my headphones on. So anyway, I'm asking about something.
If he stood on your records that were on the ground, it'd be annoying. But if he sits on them. He's sitting on them as well. He's sitting on them in a way that's like, he was a perch.
Like, I'm just perching. Then you perch on something. And then someone says, oh, that's actually my records. Yeah, sure.
Yeah. And then a minute later you forget. And you're not doing it again. What do you make an icon like with the whole time?
No, he's supposed to be doing his job, which is protecting the front of the stage. He's gone back. He's gone into my space where I work where all my equipment is, essentially my records are my equipment. And he's disregarded them.
And he's in these COVID times, Paul. He's put my fucking headphones on. So he doesn't have to hear them. What, he put your headphones on that you need to mix the records so he can block out the noise of his job.
Right. Just want me to talk about the attitude, the stupidity of the man. What I'd say is if you step on the record and the record's on the floor and your foot is flat on flat on flat. Right?
So the record might get dirty, but it'd probably break. But if your record is set on a cushion or any of his ass goes on it, then it's soft on soft with the flat. And that could break it. Absolutely right.
But also it ruins it because you get a bit of grit and anyway. That's not the thing. I was going to bring the portable record player in today. It's on a shelf in my room.
And I think Paul, I've hit peak sourcing room situation. And this is really... How much do you keep in your room? There's a lot of sauce in there.
Right. I get this record player out. It's on the top shelf above sort of my desk thing. Yeah.
And then it drops. Yeah. And it's fucking chili oil jar from like two years ago or something. Why is that in your room still?
The lead falls off. Or chili oil. You have an answer to my question. Against the curtain.
And it's the stinky chili oil. And the reason I mean it's because I didn't like this particular brand. But you like that. It's a huge massive, massive cleaning job.
This is a 10 to 3. Did it go on your record player? Yeah. The record player's snapped and shit.
This is a good opportunity to talk about, you know, perhaps you overreacted to the bouncy yesterday. She'll pick his enemy as yourself. Well, that's been a cheap show, man. It's been hung over in a bit of a rush.
I shouldn't have dropped the record player. Sorry. Also, you take us from the dance floor. So you're building two reasonably underwhelming stories into one.
I feel a bit deflated. You should be feeling energized because you've solved a problem. Which is that you're the problem. I'm sorry.
I've got rid of that chili that's been around for two years as well. Yes. And it's a welcome me to the source situation. And that is to not keep two-year-old sources in your room willy-nilly.
I need a clear chance they splash about. And also, no one truly listens to the final. Move on. Oh.
Nothing. You're not going to fight back? Come on. Fight.
I'm saying that, yeah. Good point. And it's certainly more convenient to not do J with vinyl, but there's a certain sound. A certain quality.
It makes people's heads turn. They hear the vinyl. It's going to be a great need for me anymore. No.
I love it. I've got loads of vinyl. I can't believe that you've said that you don't like it. That's crazy.
I don't like the word vinyl in the current era. I find it like people didn't call it. I know they're just records. Yes.
You're absolutely right. But is that just because of the way music has changed? People refer to it as vinyls. It's like a...
I don't like that. Vinyls isn't records. Vinyls is a selection of flooring in a shop. Those are vinyls.
I think record is like you can release a record digitally now. Yes. And so record is the recording. It's not the format.
It's not the planet. It's not the L.P. Yes. A long player.
I've got nothing to add to this conversation. But yes, it is annoying. That's good. It is annoying.
I personally collect vinyl. And so you've got like five or six thousand maybe. I'm just going to say five or six. They're good ones.
I take five LPs. I bought three and then I got another two. One of them is all night long. So I collect them and also DJ.
It sort of means that I can... Oh, no, long's got a bit of L.P. What are you just going to repeat it? All night.
Come on guys. I think what's happened is, I think you've underestimated us. You're going to have to work leagues ahead of what you're doing right now. In that case, can I tell my story?
I'm actually not working. I actually finished though. Come on. Thank you.
No, it's good having him around. We can we carry on with vinyls. Noodle source. I like to DJ with them because it means one thing feeds the other.
Sure. Absolutely. It's better than teaching with hot sauce. Exactly.
That would work. But people who, like Matt said, about the present use of the word vinyls and all of this. Annoying. And people have vinyl forever or the only format on S.C.P.E.T.S.H.
I hate those people. Do you know what I mean? Okay. Oh, I designed that.
Yeah. I'm not keen on it. As a culture thing now, I find it weird that people will pay twenty pound for a new vinyl release of a record which is one of the biggest selling records all the time. You could definitely get for about three or four pounds.
Yeah, that's just ridiculous. No, there's so much scamming in the industry especially with a new vinyl. The biggest example being that Tijuana Brass LP. Oh, yeah.
Her Palbert and the Tijuana Brass. They did a hundred and eighty gram audio file special release for like record store a couple of years ago. That is not only a huge seller but you could get, yeah, there must be dead stock of that somewhere in America thousands of them. Well, not necessarily sometimes I get rid of it.
You know, was that Robbie Williams album, Rude Box? Was it an album? Yeah. That came out on CD.
That sold so badly that they ended up using it to sort of, they used it as road filler in something like Singapore when they were like, when they were doing the roads. They ground up loads of roadblocks and then they lay through that and they covered it with tarmac. It was because it undersold to such a dramatic. That was only worth paving the roads in other countries.
There's an extraordinary record of roadblocks and that is one of what is. What's on, what's on, what's on, what's on, what's on, what's on, what's on. He's trying to do, he's trying to do sort of rapping on it. And I know he's cokew and I'm like, you know, he said something goes, fuck the matrix and he goes, the matrix.
He tried to buy a place called Skin Walker Ranch. Have you heard of this? Skin Walker Ranch is a place in America where it's been known for like, as long as America is in there. It's about the same thing.
Come on guys. It's a place to play. That's been known for. It's just three that in.
It's a place known for record numbers of UFO sightings and cryptids and things like that. All around this one ranch. So I was watching this documentary about all these random talking about the history of Skin Walker Ranch. In one shot you just see Robby Willem just and walk past the camera and go like that and walk off by.
It turned out at the same time you were making a documentary he was trying to buy the ranch. He could tie it with copies of Roadbox, you know, get a nice reflective. Yeah, he could. So the U.
So the U.S. can see and winking up at them. I'm going to take you to my store and get out and then we'll get out. Maybe if he did that.
Maybe if he did that. The UFO would come down and drop off all the copies of the ET Atari game. That's an ET. Come on.
It's full circle. I can see how this is going. I know. I know.
I know. I know. I know. I was waiting for my train station and I was waiting for my train and there was a bounty castle outside for kids, right?
Not many of the kids were going on it. It was just one or two. And then for whatever reason the guy who said it all up was playing reggae for the longest time. Then.
If you trim. Then you hit. And. And.
And. And. And. I think we were going to say roadbox.
And. And. Twenty kids. Plailed on from no word.
Just jumping around and turning into a mosh pit. Wow. And I was sitting there watching all these kids thrashing around to motorhead on a bounty castle. It was like that's the kind of image you want to see today.
Etymology wise. Where. The history of words and language. Apparently the first reference ever to a bounty castle was in 1986.
Even though they existed much far longer ago than that. ago than that but apparently the word bounty castle to refer to what that thing is hadn't hadn't been around until like that's weird because you then before 1986 people just go he's on the jumpy bar for the jumpy castle. Do you know what old Ferris was? Like Lord of the Rings was published something like no I might be wrong here but it was something like 2005 no it was like 1957 or something like that.
You get to America till 67. So the Hobbit was 1937 and then Lord of the Rings was like something like 20 years later right but it's pretty much 1960 you'd feel something one of those things that's been around like forever. No because when you put a date on it it's yeah and do you know in America there was only 1500 copies of the Fellowship of the Ring? Yeah and so what's the same video?
I think they want to say you can be wrong. What was it folding ideas? Yeah yeah yeah. It's an hour.
It's a 1500 copies right so it's 1500 copies and they sold out right straight away but because it sold out everyone thinks oh Lord of the Rings was a big sad no because they only sold out at 1500 so what they did was they shipped over from England and they were selling sort of like second-hand copies or like leftover copies from England and then they were like hang on it was selling all these copies and then they bought in you had to actually produce the book from the country of origin. Yeah the law has changed around it. Oh around the copyright. So 67 Fellowship of the Ring of Rise in America so yes for those that hippies and everything it felt like a new book almost it felt like you know it wasn't like some old-time that they'd rediscovered it was like obviously this thing no one knows about let's get on it with the Hobbits and the tools.
It's just so long to build up because they only printed 1500. 1500. That's a good sign. I guess what I would have thought of as like people rediscovered it but actually they discovered it for the first time in that.
I do regret bringing up Lord of the Rings. That's been like four white guys sat in a room. I don't have any love for Lord of the Rings. I just found out a fact.
I hate the movies. I like the second Hobbit film. That's the best. That's not the best.
What's up, Mel? What's it called? The Two Hobbits. The National National Smaug.
Well it seems like you do kind of secretly like it. I tried to do a lot of the same title. Willingly by myself. I went to a similar store and all.
On my phone some shit was on like yeah I'm trying to think of a film but I can't. It's so weird. We're all a bit bored of it now. Should we do sauce?
Yes let's do sauce. Look at this. Frilly mates. What special about it?
This is corn sauce. This is Colombian corn sauce. You have it with corn. Is it made of corn?
It's sauce for corn. I think we're also talking with it. It's bright yellow for the messons at home. It looks like a mustard.
It's got a picture of corn on the ground and it says maize and we're all wondering is it for corn. That's my question. It's for corn but is it made corn? Is it made?
It's very hard to see. I got an idea of something that's made for corn. Something already has been made for corn. But you don't get a lot of sources that have one specific food source that they go on.
That's what we're saying. I can't think of another of corn sauce. That specific food item specific source. Most burger burgers.
Are we ready? Yes. So I gave it a huff and it smells like masticated nacho chips. It's made of corn.
It's strongly smells of smashed Doritos. That's what they're made of isn't it? Yeah. But you're saying this is a sauce.
This is a little bit like adding something onto something. Adding the same thing onto something. Oh, I like the sauce delivery system that's going on here. It's just the serving you're giving us.
It feels like it's too much. I'm going to agree with that. You can just have a little, these are clean spoons. Yeah they are.
I'll just go off with the spoon. I don't know what I'll do. They smell of the smells of nachos as well. Yeah.
You can have a huff. Does it as a real nacho smell? Nacho spicy. Spicy.
Yeah. I like the smell. Can I have a look at the bottle? My English teacher told us a story once and he said that he was out in India and he sat under a tray and he was eating some, he was eating some like a, it wouldn't have been a burger, but he was eating a sandwich or something like that.
And he sort of like this yellow sort of like banana sauce that was sort of like on his plate and to get tipping it in the banana, it's delicious. It's like this yellow sort of banana sauce. And he said, what is this sauce? And they said, it's not sauce.
It's monkey shit. And there was a tree above him full of monkeys and they'd all shut this bright yellow shit. That exactly hangs my friend in Florida. Disney, he's eating chips.
I went, you don't like me. He's eating chips. No. And I was like, well there's many names on your chips and we looked up on this little row with birds.
Waking up with chips. It's like the clock to get it all out. I'll tell you from all of that egg now. What egg?
The bad egg. Oh, the bad egg. Oh, the bad egg. Oh, what if that's how banana man got his powers?
I'm not sure. I'm not sure. That's very awkward. He was eating a little bit of an Asian.
He's done with the explore experiment. So yeah, I found it that way. The hard way. Can we eat this, please?
I'm going to taste this sauce. All right, me too. I just wanted to just make sure that it wasn't a juice by eating a lot of good shows and shitting it into a bottle. But if I had the last person to try it.
Oh, God. You know what? It's not very nice. It's not so nice.
Oh, that is a complicated bunch of emotions. Yeah, it's got a sweetness. Oh, it's got a yogurtiness. It's got sweet creaminess.
Yes, it's a sweet creaminess. I find it's quite sweet. It's a really, yeah. It doesn't taste anything like sweet corn.
Trickless mint to taste like sweet corn with loads of butter. Yeah, I guess so. What is that meant to be? It's bizarre, isn't it?
It's so sad. It's a sad, sad, poor, and me. Oh, you okay. I can't make that.
I can't make this one. Oh, God. Oh, bizarre. That is a bizarre sauce.
Oh, oh, okay. That's a sad, fizzy water that you pour in for us, please. Please, please. There you go.
Oh, make that is, oh. I don't mind that. I mean, I didn't find it as disgusting as Paul did. No, it's not.
You know what my gag reflex is like with this shit? And if I don't like the texture, I'll reject it outright. It has a very smooth and cloying texture. It's a slightly buttery flammie kind of thing going on.
It's just it. Okay, right. It was disgusting, right? This sauce, right?
So what was the worst thing about the sauce? Well, I mean, it was nothing about the, it didn't even have the same consistency as a regular sauce. It was sort of like too creamy for a sauce. It's almost like a maze, mayonnaise.
Yes, it has a sort of very rich sort of texture. Almost, but it's too much. Mayonnaise. And I felt like the flavour didn't back up the texture, because the flavour has a sort of almost cardboardy, like papery sort of flavour.
You know, you're in a cinema and you get nachos and all of the jalapenos and the cheese or the salsa is gone. Yeah. And you're left with just box of like unfinished corners. Yes.
And then you just think, oh, I'm just going to eat them. Yeah, I love that. It's like, when you breathe in and you catch that sort of like dusty, sort of dry flavour. It's like, it tastes like, but it's in this wet, creamy sort of sauce.
Yeah, I'm sorry. I thought, I thought initially, but you're going to be okay. This happens week in we are. Initially, I would say the first sort of split second is tasting it.
I was going, this is all right. And it kind of gets a bit worse. Yes. Would you have that with corn?
It's the back end. I wouldn't. I would eat that with eggs. Do you know what it is though?
You're constantly trying to guess what flavour is? What the flavour is? Right up until the last swallow. And then even afterwards, the aftertaste is just like, I can taste something in my mouth, but I don't remember tasting it at any point while I was tasting it.
Yeah, I don't know how much of us were being repelled by that is to do with us just not being familiar with that. I'm also just playing around. You know what the best way to do to work that out is? Keep eating it.
Which is just another round. No. Right, I'm going to distribute some hot sauce, top trump cards. Oh, yes.
So this wasn't a hot sauce, was it? No. I know what it was going to be. It was a little bit spicy though.
It was a bit of pepoe. Dorito heatway. Yeah. So these were sent in.
It's like performing anal ingas on someone who's saltier with Dorito heatwave. I don't know what we've got here is. Something that was sent in by a listener to the show. And it was sent in a few weeks ago.
And amazingly, all they did was take all the top hot sauces they could find and repurpose them into a makeshift. He's called it the cheap show Hot Trumps Game. Yeah. Do you recognize any of these hot trucks?
I'll probably try a few of these on the show, right? I don't know what I think. I'm sorry. I've seen that.
That's a quite expensive one. Yeah. So Red Hot. France Red Hot Sauce is overrated, isn't it?
It's overrated. And it's one of these hipsters. They got on it for some reason. They got on it because it's really sort of popular like in the southern states of America.
Well, it's American. Yeah. And if you can kind of repurpose stuff over it, I'll hang out. Yeah, that's one.
That's one of them. No, one should have got the glory. You can talk about American hot sauces instead of Frank's Red Hot, which is just vinegary. You know, it is overrated.
It's a large bottle of Tabasco. Yeah. And it has about the flavor than the complexity of the Tabasco flavor. And it doesn't have the complexity of the flavor of crystal.
Louisiana Crystal Hot Sauce. Right. It's got a slightly fermented, it's watery like Tabasco. Slightly fermented.
Very vinegary delicious sauce. Well, I'd say Tabasco is Tabasco takes over the flavor of most things that you add it to, which is great with oysters. But that's about the only reason. That's about the only time it's acceptable.
And then another hot sauce I think would be better for anything else. I like it on pizza. Tabasco. Oh, yeah.
Yeah. But I mean, why wouldn't you have holy fucks on a pizza? That's delicious. Yeah, I'd go for that as well.
See? Holy fucks also on our ice serving now. What are you doing? Now we have hot back on the show.
Can we get some? Holy fuck. Yeah. No, we will.
Definitely. We've got to recommend it. So see that round. Yeah, I've got the Tabasco card here.
And so you can't be worried in USA. Right. Yes. Oh, I do not know that.
Although the green Tabasco is delicious. Oh, the jalapeno. Oh. No.
Yeah, no. No. And do you know what else? Have you ever tried the flame label, Habanero Tabasco?
The super hot one. No, no. The super hot one with it. The label is like a flame.
It's a beautiful label. No. No. That is a fantastic one.
I think the smoky is a smokey. It's a brown one. Yeah. That's good.
That's nice. I'm sort of obsessed with it. So if I see one hot sauce, I've got by the set. Yeah.
Yeah. I've got like, you know, the sriracha. I've got the green one. I've got the yellow one.