Ep 246: The Suitcase

Hey, yeah, say the heavy like Behavior eerie already. I'm weary. I'm weary. I'm just having good in the box Paul Here we go.

Hello ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to cheap show this week. It's a little bit different So the setups difference we're kind of standing up We're loose and we're standing around a table and that table contains a mystery and that mystery is a suitcase allow me any words in this I think then well you never give me a fucking chance do you because you these days listen I listen it's a special suitcase of dish on the cheap show. Yeah, whoa is a suitcase a dish of a tashade It's an attach a case.

We discussed that poor hello. I mean I saw my little cannon. Yes, whoo whoo, so we're doing my I was not in the don't take your visor off there because it's not on camera. Yeah, but they know anyway Let's explain your view of the visor.

Can you feel my visor, baby? Can you feel my visor? And when then that would be over though, it'll be over before it started and we'll never get to see what's in invent and others What's coming up in the show today, Paul today? We are investigating a mysterious suitcase I've posted on Twitter in the past.

It's a black attached suitcase. I see a cheap show logo. It's impossible to it anti-unbost anti-unbost Is that like unkalen boss? No, oh, oh, oh, no fire.

It's a fire is the reverse of embost as in it's removed It's been cut out. Yeah, the logo has been cut out of this attach a case All I know is that a few weeks ago event who is the editor creator and master mind genius behind the unofficial official cheap show magazine Which can buy physical copies off cheap mag shot if you're interested she got into a china. Oh, this is Did she say oh, did you write oh at the beginning of the email? Oh?

Event right so that was what just an article you might actually said it was an artifact of your mind Oh, do people usually fucking say that it's just Paul Ganon world this isn't it I'm sticking your language right so I'm with the story Fuck me so then said you want to do something different? We're gonna put a whole episode of cheap show in a suitcase full of mysteries and secrets and puzzle That's my own noise. Um, yes, we want to do it We want to pound this I want to pound this suitcase. I'm gonna pound this mystery So With this as well and it'll be available to patrons to watch this this suitcase is that patrons every tear poor yes all tears So wow, it's a really it's a full weep.

There's that many tears Oh, I don't like this guy so there's that we got to do this in real time rough and ready as it goes I'm ready as much as possible rough riders. Yes, and it begins after the credits. So are we ready? I'm ready Paul.

I'm looking forward to this. I'm a bit over excited and I'm ready to do it. Let's do this roll the credits I hate you and your fucking noodle posse People love noodles. It's just a fact of cheap show you're gonna have to learn to fucking accept Cheese show Cheese show I Hello, how do we start approaching this box?

What are the instructions we have at the beginning? I want to take this journey right from the start and I don't want to cheat all right now. Can I just assure the listeners? I haven't seen what's inside this box.

I am I don't know I don't know we don't know we don't know we don't know we don't know we Don't know shit could be or come with those those are talking out funny and loads of cool I'm gonna be torn out from the contact police in that is a real one well It was the bad The words torn out funny you haven't really specify if it's real or not because it's on that real time episode We're not spending a lot of the real time talking real shit right all I'm saying is you know But in the box it came in where these two down shakers the two halves of a dice no two separate dice acres Yeah, I'm so About them. They just are they for back around? Oh, no Also came this little top secret. You don't play back around dice.

Oh, no backgammon. Yeah, yeah No, it's not it's a top secret the go-go. Okay, right? So be some code breaking.

How do you feel about your code breaking skills ball? We'll see. I don't know what it's in this envelope. It's code breaking good because that's probably what's gonna happen finally What came with it were three tins of a cherry drink would I'm sure we get to it's in the fridge So I think I'm sure we'll be told when to so Here's the letter and one of those cherry drinks is called or should I not give it well?

I don't know save it till later because then we could just describe it. No, that's it. It looks like spoth mister or something It's not spoth mister. Keep dry keep guessing along the spunk and sort of a title come advisor come lord come lord come lord spawn good Here's the letter that came with the suitcase and this is what will kick us all off semen king That's a good thing with it.

It's even king Just a lord. Yes, you see them. Well, I am the jizz of law. Oh, just just just fuck mister.

It's not mister. No, it's not mister Okay, mister spunk. How come everything around you is so much a good and gooey mister soft. Yeah, so be mister spunk, isn't it?

Real time episode Right, so everything in this is a mystery here. We go hi there the letter says this box contains an entire episode of cheap show To get started chill the included drinks for later. I've shown them I only had that fucking good tuition about then needing to be chilled also one of the can says keep chilled on the can so that's What really gave me the idea? Hello?

I mean myself my children including drinks for later use of the code the following message using the code wheel with the setup that see equals s When decoded it will tell you the combination of the set box. So that name withheld mystery So I said it to that now can you just repeat that for the one set up is equal s I mean this explain what you're doing with a little circle are there are two alphabets Yes, are two circles and there's an outer alphabet and an in alphabet so Do we want the C on the outer to be matched with s on the inner that must be what that I guess we'll find out because it makes no sense with that way round we can just reverse it Yes, but you see what I mean, right? It doesn't specify the the oh, how do we start this episode? You are the worst the pen?

We've got check it works. Yes, it works. We've got working pain everybody So if C equals s then the first word is CSH. So what is C?

So it's s So I'm gonna say it's six off top my head if this is an all right is no s no s is next So CS and an H so what is this? Come on. I yeah, so I'm gonna say H is X. It is Paul right So six is the fourth first number.

We'll put it in at the end that's do the other two so the next we're doing all right Yeah, we're doing all right. So this is a five letter number word. So what it's gonna be seven or eight You think it's gonna be another number. Well, yeah, it has to be forgetting to the suitcase.

Let's just do it quick ahead What's a five level number? No, look, it's the first couple of eight if D equals E then it's eight Well, so it could be three. No, it's not gonna be three is it no Z equals T. Oh, so it's DSW OC so DS See I W is M and then what after that?

Oh, oh is that E? Yeah, so okay, what we got so far on this one? See I am a time I can see it's time so six times because it's C and D S W O C times We're gonna just assume that's time to not do the last look see yeah, yeah Well, we don't know see you know O and C is oh is E yeah and C is S that's how we started yes, right? So then the last one is jobby J O B Y J O B Y Kush your walk jobby Kishter what jobby J is Z Is it yeah, so is what E?

six times z B is what? B R Sure, so why is O? Why is is is why O? Why your why your so six times zero is six no no Yes Six times nothing is six Think about it six times sixes.

I give you no sixes Six no So six times zero is anything times zero zero does that mean the code is zero zero zero zero to get to the suitcase We got written down six times zero so what's the code six times zero? Yeah? Yeah, so it's zero zero zero zero Do you want to empty and the suitcase we could be wrong we could we're gonna fight out all the way to be a really long Focker I mean I mean Set zero to all of the there's locks what would you call this combination? A double combination lock attach a case Zero zero zero zero zero so we're off Mike we've got a little table in front of us where the suitcase is laid and that's we'll be doing Motorists laid down there down there so that's why True one no no we were wrong the answer is not shit.

So what is it then? Oh The simple direction of the button there, oh, I was worried I was genuinely worried there for a second Oh I should I you know yeah, I thought anything like shit a load of fucking stuff in here Well done opening the box. Thank you. There's quite a few things to find here first of all locate the three price of Shite items they're labeled Paul if you want to get on with this price of shite item number one number two and number three You need to locate that don't try and disturb everything But number one Looking at this piece of paper this message is on Paul and it seems like there's something hidden inside it like a sticker I hope I'm not giving the game away there, but Paul because I'm holding this up to the light Do you see what I'm saying here?

There's a sticker inside this No, there's nothing I thought from it. They're like we're gonna have to like run this over open flaming get another code to come out I'm sorry. You've got the author. Yeah, you can also find the answers in an envelope.

So they much should be a price of shine envelope You got that there is no that's an item Right so shite this is this is a fantastic thing. I'm loving all of this. I'm excited now Paul I'm also quite hungry weekend. So I'm sweating now You can't say that I'm gonna kill I'll edit it then you make me edit this if you want to be honest All right, I'll edit edit points right, okay, so we have all That I say that I did else listen.

There was already fucking cheap show people hanging around trying to see me there It's all getting too real come on read the letter 10 minutes in come on. That's okay 10 minutes is okay Give me a moment. I'm gonna have a super green tea. Oh, he's the fucking letter No, you've wet your whistle.

I'm gonna wet my whistle Slashy facey poorly poor poorly splishy splashy. All right. All right. Come on read the letter No, right, oh it won't be no goals go you'll find the answer number now got it price of shite item number one Hold a bit of a mystery Paul right.

It is a locked case. Okay, indeed. This is a blind item blind underlined right What could it contain question mark? Based your price on what you think it holds Brackets note this is the items original case so the code to get in is a bonus between a bonus between Paul is up for grabs later If you managed to guess correctly apart from that regular role to play That's what I just said no the code to get in is the price of the item So if we get it to one pound we put one zero zero zero is a lot case indeed This is a blind item.

What could it contain base your price and what you think it holds and this is what it came in? That looks familiar to me. I think I had one growing up as a kid. It's either like a I know that isn't it yeah, some sort of back down in game Yes, it's a back down and things yes, so maybe it's back and so it's a box of games pull up chess in and no I think that's just a back and board opens up and you get back and it clearly is all right Yeah, but that doesn't help us open the actual lock because it's a lot on it based your price on what you think it holds I don't know because what's the limit here you might have also seen a black bag Let's just continue see if there's another black Where we have to go with this now?

Black bag in there and a black bag of a padlock and a different cards ignore the cards for now The black bag is titled the grab bag of crap. Oh and contains items of mixed desirability, right? That's getting ahead of ourselves. Oh, we're gonna do about this first unlock it, but don't look inside with the code Yeah, the bag lucky me.

I lost the pot noodle, but thankfully the kids are all right We're getting ahead of ourselves now. I think we just need to focus on this price of shot item I don't know how we would move forward with this port because it's Right, right. You base your price of what you think it holds the right you know, let me look It is a blind item what could it contain base your price and what you think it holds a bonus between us Maybe we're not meant to get into it yet then why does why doesn't make me sweat? But what are we meant to do?

I don't know? There's quite a few things to find in here first of all locate the price of their label price of shot You can also find the answers in an envelope now Johnny's envelope I'm also finding out the envelope now price of shot item number one holds a mystery. It's a locked case indeed This is a blind item. I'm not going through it yet.

I'm not going through it yet. What you think it holds Okay, so we're not meant to get into it then we'll just go to guess what we think it is based on what the clues are so that's fine So we're just going to we're just going to guess the prices of these items open So we can't check that one though because it's locked you see so we can open two and three But we can't open one that's a blind item So I'm gonna guess then because that's what a little box of get a backgammon game my price We both having a guess are we I mean we're playing for between it seems here as well So there's gonna be an overall winner between me and you of all the most between yes across the holes It's good to know it's good to know that in the poll we're only for the twin between so how much do you think those e-like them the backgammon? Yeah, charity shop. I shop.

I'm a title. It's in the charity shop. I think it's probably a charity shop I'm trying to say something I don't know can we move on we've placed in four minutes just figuring out one sentence of this I can't understand it. No Paul.

We're going by the best way. I assume this is a charity shop bought. Yes They are I imagine they all are five or five or five or it's a nice item. I Will actually I was gonna say five or two.

So I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say Basically, I think it is. I think it's about two pound two fifty something like that. Okay. Yeah Yeah, we don't have a cap on it how much the whole thing costs all together, you know, we can't we're very much in the dark And they're very in the dark.

Are we doing though? How is it forward? I too is this envelope. So I'm gonna open the envelope.

Okay. It's in there the item is in there Say what you see oh it is crazy lips temporary lips tattoos It's a leopard leopard skin design leopard print so they're sick as that you put on your lips should I do that now? How much you think they are worth Because they can't be that much they look god awful. I'll say your turn to get like 50p and I'll go for 75 people That'd be my guess crazy factory you go in there and everyone's like, you know killing each other Yes crazy zoning out today Yes, shall I?

Read ahead while you're putting the lips on to make sure You can what yourself on your list you can award one of your listeners a goody back curtsy of me have them solve this Ridden let them get the triple digit code by a date you decide all right we'll get to that in a bit then So I guess we'll do this one bit of time on people all these three we'll review and then move on to the next segment Yeah, right here. We go. I hope that's how we're going to do it anyway That's how we're doing it just put the lips on why are you taking so long? No, I think you have to get them wet You have to get the lips wet before you can you thought you can really stick them on your mouth?

I'm wasting them. Do you know all right? Is I think they're transfer tattoos you have to measure right open your mouth in a relaxed manner say oh the outer line of the crazy lips already Correctly you should only put on the inside of the mouth shape apply the lips applying First apply to the upper lip and then the lower lip. Yeah fucking yeah, of course you do Moisten the paper back with a lot of water and weight approximately Time for this fuck those lips.

Are we starting with this blind item? We've got this one we've guess that already moving on to prize of shine item number three for me May you can open it now this feels like a photo frame of some kind does very much like a photo frame Oh, even the price of shine has our little love yeah, it's beautiful. I mean, I'll see this on the video. We're opening and shit Yeah, he's opening it get your fingers in Don't really die like the wet lips fingers right in real time.

It's like treasure Oh, no, what is it? Like the ones used to see it fairgrounds as a child. Oh, no, what I could walk well No, they used to be Elvis once and people's ones. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah What's this one smart men wanted for the Colestream guards?

Oh Beefy to help no what is it beefy to have it's a bear's run what's it? That's a bear's basically a touch nose it sausage dog a fairy sausage very very nod pole. Yes, that's what it is What those hats calls it's one of those hats that the guards were outside when they do the changing the guards They called come on. This is trivia one-on-one.

Oh, we should know don't care either But that's not what trivia is about that's called trivia. So it's an advert fuck you during the cold stream guards I'll give him a hot-stream guard. Yeah, what was that? I spoke on them.

Yeah, we'll go to a job interview for the military in this country and just wank on the hats You like that? I'm agro I'm going in the kitchen. I find him to Prince Andrew Rates of pay I said that you ignored me. I wasn't you cut me off Oh, you have to be at least five foot eight and upwards fuck off Yeah, and have nine years in the reserve on me.

That wouldn't be the case now. They can't discriminate with height now, which is a good thing This is them This mirror my go to guess first as well Got to get you into my guess I just think someone in a charity shop would look at that go look at no one's no One's gonna buy that no one's gonna buy that so we get rid of it Well, it is made of glass. Yeah, it's in good condition. Yeah, you know it was an object that was mass majority It's like a souvenir almost weird souvenir.

We'll do even initially buy that you couldn't get in fucking Lewis's Well, I know that the sort of more pop culturally ones were given away as prizes a lot of the time in the fairgrounds You know what I mean? I also saw someone bring an Elvis one into a record shop in Camden Yeah, and the guy had to explain to him that firstly he didn't want to buy it and secondly it was a piece of shit Because I told you people you don't mean it's just like well, how about mother Teresa with her arms wide open or Jesus Christ Oh, look it's a star I think about one pound 75 for those reasons I just gave Mirror you say 175 Constrain mirror call it that right and I'm gonna say it's no, I'm gonna say it's more than I'm gonna say I'm gonna say three pounds. Okay, quite the difference right quite the difference. It's always to be had here I guess we can be open all up now wait apart from the case of content You find a musical instrument of sorts I forget about that now first of all the person with the most betweens and water bonus for correctly guessing the non edible content of Of the case a blind grab bag inside the grab bag of crap.

Yeah, so I guessed it No, so I get the between forgetting it is the back so So do we carry on or just to reveal these items first so they won't open the envelope and then find out I'll just have won't be won't be the envelope The envelope with the answer that Where you put it here is no below with the answer soon There is no each one has our own individual envelope no no no there is one envelope that has all done anything with it Make it we don't find this envelope. They all go to shit. I don't know you're wrong I did not just are blaming me for shit that you clearly did should I open this and back what take it back take what Right didn't use me of fucking I didn't do nothing over there So therefore if this end up the same place you through the torn paper I'm gonna suggest that you put it on the floor in the first place with that same Eratic style of yours that you like to not and you know it now what is confusing me now ball Before you open that those does it say price of shot answers as price of shot items? I answered yes, so I just refer to these three I don't open this and then find out There's only one price of shot per episode, you know It's maybe an episode in the box.

I bear that in mind Paul. Yeah, there's a guy Who's a guy who plays for right these are prices there are three I had a quick look and there are three just on the Each of these items the blind item is a back-going board has another envelope ribboned onto it Well, that's just a label to tell you that this is the price of shot It says keep zero enter code on our three digits there. What does that mean keep zero and then enter Maybe that's the price minutes revealed so it's zero I'm just confused around that area Paul, but we make a good progress Now I've lost the answers that I wrote down you are the worst with that with your personal space, right? Perhaps you stop smoking so much cannabis all the time self-medicade stop taking I don't smoke joy.

Oh, I wish I could sometimes right he's the pain. Okay, good. Right. So I'll give you the scores in the pen Why can we doubt the answers?

All right, so you don't think I'm gonna fiddle anything all right Yeah, I wish you were sometimes for the price of shot maybe some flowers Here we go Yes, Paul here we go, right first item is the mysterious case thing you said two pounds 50 e-life said five pounds the answer is Three pounds and fifty pence both off there. No, what do you want to do give us points? Who ever closes? Oh, no, no, there's no between says no between small be a between less episode Well here we go the mysterious tattoo the terrible tattoo lips the lips you said 50p Yeah, Eli says that's me and my gentleman 75 p.

I said I've got the between I'm feeling it between give me a between Well, the answer is 20p so no betwings receive a bit half right Finally finally finally oh, I've gone crazy It's the hot string guards for I'll give you a hot stream yard We both Crushing crushing crushing real-time episode 25 minutes in and here we go Country guard Miller with the pay rates on it. You said what? Oh, I said what you said three pounds He I said one pound 75 did you yes, then you are not only correct. Well, actually spot on a wow 175 That is the I could feel between coming.

I told you I could feel I could feel I'm coming good one to come I felt that one 75 is a great weight Yeah, you did say I did say I was gonna kick up. What I thought I trust me. He's all about bull right is all right I'm in the wrong right. Okay.

The end of that round just it's two between three Oh That is all she wrote They're not interested in the video nor the interest in your spunk stain jeans and your disgusting fucking Neil Breen black top that That was a good day. What's in the case how much is it worth right? So what do we have to do with this now the price for this case the mysterious case content is 350 Maybe the code is 0350 because then it says zero and then the whatever keep zero enter code on last three digits Yeah, so put zero three five zero and see what happens on that you reckon. Yeah, I'm not getting that Why not because it's for digital together if you keep the zero so it's zero three five zero usually along the side Yeah, he's getting into the case now.

He's pulling in the code As the thrilling mystery box of fun Oh That's right, how have you not done it yet? It's a simple thing. It's a bit ridiculous. I'm gonna get this right.

Yeah, not being meticulous. You've been making tickle ass After that finger I'm glad to report Oh, no, you are wrong zero three fifty what does it say on that letter then mysterious case and contents 350? Yeah, but that's this doesn't refer to the price the code is a zero enter code on last three digits No, no, no, we have to look what's in here This must be the code in here. There must be there's nothing in here This is empty there's nothing in there that's disappointing buttons address keep zero Yeah, what does that mean so enter code on last we did it's the code for the code of the original at the top of the show It's not Look at the piece look at the letter again Keep zero enter code on last what code is it referring to?

I think it's a price here. We go 350 three feet. I've already tried that mate God, it's not right. You're wrong about that.

You were wrong about that. Well, let me have another look at the letter Have a look at the letter Base your price when you think it holds okay, we did that bonus return is up for granted later if you manage to get Correctly apart from that regular rules apply. Thank you You might have also seen a black bag with a padlock and a deck of cards ignore the cards for now the black bag is titled the grab bag of crap And thanks items of mixed desirability first unlock it but don't look inside of the code No, no, let's not cut that I don't want to be part of that. I will not be I will not be Put it down.

I could open it down. Oh, please put it down. All right. You're a shitcase.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha I'll put it down. What are you doing? I think we should code break that because it's got something to do what's gonna be coming up in this mysterious journey That'll be ultimately open by something else we do in the back in the suitcase. Yes later.

It says doesn't it? It says later you'll find out. Oh, he was so willing to destroy all of this hard work It's nice ribbon tie in this maverick and mavericks don't go by your pet just get a fucking cat like fucking hammer Just smash the whole thing up. You like that would be great.

Wouldn't it destructive cunt? Right, but it's over here for now. I'm gonna move into the grab bag bag of crap Looking inside is this a lock. I know right?

So I'm getting fucked off in locks. How do you undo the lock right? You may have all seen a black bag with a padlock and a deck of cards The deck of cards they'll be the code It's a nice Back to it down down down down down You may see a black bag with a padlock and a deck of cards nor the card for now the black bag is titled the grab bag of crap Now you can take items yet first unlock it, but don't look inside with the code and the code is lucky me I lost the pot noodle, but thankfully the kids are all right managed to unlock it good You should have found yeah, okay, so six the numbers of the letter the numbers of letters numbers of letters in the words Maybe to read out some even I lost the pot noodle, but thankfully the kids are all right So what one two three four five one two three four five six so is it two five six? No, put two five six it that won't look at me I lost the pot noodle, but thankfully the kids are all right So one two and then five and then six is that open it up?

No, because you're ignoring the whole rest of the code. No, but I don't know what the code is do I just says lucky me I lost the pot noodle, but thankfully the kids are all right. I mean report back on two five six ball. No, right?

Okay, well, it's a guess it it must be the code from the origin of the story. So let's do that What does that mean you do it because it's C equals s yes? All right? Well, then you'll have to write down everything okay, I will give me the pen right So you're out the way right so So C equals s yeah C equals s l equals some confused C equals s right and that L equals B No, wait L.

That's a top like the yeah, right you equals this is I'm gonna speed this up e C equals M K equals you Y equals I What does that spell nothing yenney yenney mooey then so that's not working is it what what no cuz me would be what me would be W. Oh The movie well the movie well, but that means nothing I think you can get I think we can both guess that that's not a number Okay, so this code is cryptic in some way and also me there aren't any two letter numbers either one two three four five six seven Seconds and I can't be good. We've known that look me I lost the pot noodle But thankfully the kids are all right. What does that mean lucky me as a noodle right?

I lost a pop noodle lucky means a brand of noodle yeah lucky means a brand of noodle I lost the pot noodle, but thankfully the kids are all lost the plot lost the pot Look II me kids alright kids alright, who yeah, but the kids are all right who so I lost I don't know how this becomes a number it becomes a three-digit number The code look II me I lost pot noodle but thankfully the kids are all right Looky me. It's an instant noodle. Noodle, nudele? I lost the noodle.

Noodle, nudele. Is there a- Noodle, nudele, nudele. Noodle, nudele. Get in touch with me, then, you can't get it.

I've already measured it, and it's been over for an hour. So we're on our own. Oh my god, I can't do it. I don't know what- I don't know what I do.

Looky me. Oh my God. Looky me, I lost the pot noodle. Oh my god, I can't stop.

I've got to stop saying that fucking sentence, because now it's making no sense. I'm not- No. No. Looky me.

What number could be looky me? Two. Noodle, Noodle 2. Two.

Do they refer to episode titles, poor, possibly? Did you say lucky me? Will we leave the lucky me? No, I don't believe I ever have.

Hang on. If it's episode show, Lucky Me. Yeah? If that's a specific episode, that's all I can think.

Pot Noodle we did in this specific episode, didn't we? Cheap show, Lucky Me. No. I don't have any fucking clue with this, mate.

No, it's not going to look with any views. Should I start drinking booze? I could start drinking booze. I don't have any fucking booze.

Should we have some booze? I'm getting stressed out about this. Let's have some booze. What's a spoons?

I don't understand. I don't understand. Let's just have some booze. Now, let's have some booze.

Right, we're going to take an interstitial. Lucky me. I've lost the pot Noodle. I've lost the fucking plot.

I've lost the plot. We're so bad at this. Yeah, but I don't know what this means. Lucky me, I lost the pot Noodle.

But, thankfully, the kids are all right. Lucky me, I lost the pot Noodle. Thankfully, the kids are all right. Lucky me, I lost the pot Noodle.

But, thankfully, the kids are all right. The kids are all right. Round around the garden, I could tell you the best. Wait.

Wait, you. Wait. Round around the garden. Thanks a lot.

Good. You should have a wall in the winner and a blank the crowd finally time to open up the Steemys price of Shikakes you'll be able to pop the lock with the code Bob Newhart America's largest and finest by far oh my god do you know what the problem with this is event is way too smart and we are dumb fucking midlife crisis idiots and I'm having a real existential crisis I know Paul I'm feeling it they all put this together oh they'll solve this because it's obvious I am fucking completely and I'm having a dough bagel tonight I'm over no fucking clue mate Bob Newhart lucky me America's not we probably did him on an episode didn't we yeah we did because we talked about that bloody record that's just yeah yeah so what episodes that are these episode numbers we just need to get we just need the points of for you in real life event now please right so it's not in bed it's the middle of the day you know what we're taking a break I'm getting drunk and we're coming back to this oh yeah I'm already upset and when I get upset I drink my problems this is terrible we have no clue we haven't made any progress on this Paul we'll go have a little break just a thing really yeah ready we're off an hour in why not hey you can stop the video as well stop the video as well alright we'll edit it together because you know I will oh poor don't have to edit this fucking week well apparently we do because I don't want to do it and I would be shit on treasure hunt this is terrible three two one this is like three two one is there any clue to how should we look at the text and soberly again we have a break break down a fucking break we're gonna have a fucking break you're gonna have a fucking break you're gonna have a fucking suitcase gonna edit this podcast now it won't are we just we're getting on but you and me oh yeah don't say it'll look worried you had a little boy who's like we're getting on what are they say right yeah okay stop the fucking recording got the fucking recording are you ready for a countdown then here we go walks away all systems go and here we go well comedy car to cereal competition prizes the big big super saturday show is fun fun all the way so are you ready here we go blast off i know i know i'm like there's two mike's look at the camera i don't give a shit about camera don't you fucking get out this is getting right if then it's failed to get back to us i hope there's nothing wrong yes no she she's replied but we don't need it now we don't need it now we just should read the reply it's on we figured it out i have been to drink so lucky me i lost the pot noodle but thankfully the kids are all right it refers of course to the items that were covered in an episode of a cheese show which has three digits yes and that's what we figured out i figured out it was the episode we played that kids were all right board game i think i did the noodles everything like that so it was me who solved it uh so the episode right is now let me get the thing which we open but we don't look inside we're back on track now we're back on track keep it on camera read me the episode title that contained the lucky me noodles great brand it is the pot noodle ramen piss steak and the knoll edmunds based game it's not no lebens oh it's like his one are you it's bit like that oh you're grooming a five-year-old yeah something like that it was a john berry moor's this is a joke everybody barraman episode anyway just a joke anyway let's look at the litch episode 206 we fucking cracked that we cracked that we cracked that we saw it at least 45 yes but we've we've managed to capture that moment truth though Paul it might not open the fuck well then what's the fucking dude then i'm just gonna get events he's never gonna tell an eye to say we are right is an episode number that's what events said okay 206 i'm lining up now Paul right he's doing the lining up again and once is tumbling sausage fingers pushing a delicate right i'm not gonna fucking do this if you fucking if you refer to my pork smash but you are not Hulk smash i'm not very strong either i've got fucking shitty deformed hands and i'm weakling thanks what is talking about my naughty what is i saying about my yeah it looks like all the litty in the belly button with boncon no best moment no you're probably on the spot yeah we're gonna fuck around the brains in puzzle mode not Eli's dirty nubbin mode nice is that all is that all fat yes right we're in we're in the bag how was it say well i'm laugh it good you should also have found a mechanical game of sorts plate barcean style at water winner a blind grab inside the bag also ugh yes inside the suitcase let's turn the light up focus no I'm focused mate I'm 100% focused I'm going to go ahead and do this. That's what it is. It's a 12-piece, it's a fishing game.

A little rod you get with it and swear a little arena, we played this on bastion. They put a much larger rod in their mouths, didn't they? They had to get the snapping fish out. Yes, but Paul, you get a bit of cute, isn't it?

It's a little mad, but it looks quite cheap, but it's nice. It's clockwork as well, you see, it's like this. You don't need a full game, you know what I mean? It's just a toy anyway, I like the miniaturization on this.

You know what I mean? That's a nice little thing. It's just that. It's a nice little thing isn't it?

It's a nice little thing isn't it? You always open it. It's a nice little thing. Then we can't play it, can we?

Oh, oh, oh. Oh, you've spilt it all. No, we haven't spilt it all. We've got the fish in the fucking hole.

The fish in the fucking hole. Oh, they've got to grab a fish mouth. The f pirates. Yes, they grow up, grab a fish.

You know what I thought the other day? Imagine in the James Bond film, Goldfinger, instead of being Goldfinger, I think this would be improvement. He'd been called fish water. Why?

Because actually, that's what you would be like. Fish water. Here's the man with the pond at home. on that home.

Doing short ribbash. You get three rods. You get three little daggle rods. You get down the head and chickens at night after you've been for me.

Just focus. Three rods, don't add them. Right. So the idea is these rods have little magnets dangling from them.

And you put them in the mouth of the fish and you wind up the base. And the base rotates and moves the fish round. And then you try and get the fish out. Ah, fucking come on these fishes.

Right. Shall we have a little go with this now? You ever win? Get to the rock inside the bag, all right?

Is that what it is? Yeah. I guess. I guess.

What are the rules? Yeah, but I have to. Once you try, look at that. Wind it more.

That's not going to last long enough. Let me read it out. Catch a fish. The noise is helping everything, isn't it?

Catch a fish is the board rotates. That's it. Eight fishes and three rods included. You didn't pop a fucking winding.

I gave it a winding. No, you didn't give it a proper one. What do I do then? First to get one out or first to get two out.

We do it until they're done. And then we count the scores like fucking proper. Then what if we get four each? Then we get eight.

Then we have a tie round. No, I'm not doing this forever. First one to pull two out. Three.

Best of three. First to pull three out. I've got me one. Two rods at the same time.

Can I use two rods at the end? Can I use two rods at once? No. Like you can't.

Why don't you get a little bit out and bash it on a plastic chip. Let's go. Oh, I'm in. Gossing the swords.

I got three. No, I'm in. It doesn't matter. It's not going to go longer than that.

I think you'll see the fucking video in the shows. I was in. Completely more dead with my sausage fingers. Oh.

I've got two out. I'll give you a shot. You want me to get you again? I want to do a surprise.

I'll get you good. Two times a shame. I'll give you two times a punishment. I don't know.

Double loving. You get double loving from Silverman. You get double fish water helping. You get help into fish water.

You get mad help into fish water outside you. Oh, fuck your mum. Come on. I'm out.

I'm out. Wait. I'm ready. Get that money closer to you.

Three. No. You can't know. Get your fucking rod.

Get your rod behind the fucking edge. Okay. Yes. Three.

Two. One. Go. You wanker.

You wanker. Stop trying to fowl me up. That's what. I got three out.

Oh, that's Max. Yeah. That would go to a show. I pulled three out before the mechanic.

The mechanic in and then it sort of did. So that was still a good win to me. That's one between. I put my hand in the back.

Pick your fucking fish up off the floor please. Don't be fucking throwing this around. It's a nice fish. You lost fish.

You lost fish. You should get disqualified. You should get disqualified. You should get disqualified.

There's a fish missing. Yeah, it's your fish. You've got to get my hootie in. You're fish.

I'm going to put the hand in the back. I had moral victory. I can't all be on my joint these segments of the show because the fucking thrust of the action sometimes means we're doing it on a desk in front of this. You've got to be loud at least.

You've started on the corner. I'll finish. I'll finish. I'll put my eyes back on.

Yeah, but your eyes are getting deadly serious. Right. So what was it saying? Put your hand in and pull something out.

It's a grab bag, isn't it? Next time to find the open that mysterious price of shot. Oh, yeah, go do that. Right.

I've got to do that. Right. I've got to do that. Right.

Oh, get off it. I'm looking at it. Don't get violent. Stop.

Don't put that. Don't put that down. Pull. Yeah.

Put it down the telly's there. Yeah. Do we hit the telly? I'm just going to put that telly by the way.

It's only telly. Yeah. But if you break it, I've got no telly. I can be the room next door.

You're like, I'm going to tell you next door. It's like, yeah. Watch this and throw it back. Don't please don't do that.

Jesus Christ. They don't snatch. They don't look fine. You forgot you look through the back.

Oh, they look like little game boys. Throw the camera. I've shown it. There's two of them.

I'd like to give you one as a friend. I'm going to open it. It's more worth more. I'm going to open it for the little lense.

These are mint on card. It's a little game boy. It's a little game boy. It's a poking on image inside.

They must have, you think, it's a tiny view master. Yeah. It's a pep. It's a poke mark.

Do you think to me must have, yes, they must have gotten an agreement with licensing agreement with Nintendo to do it. There's a little card at the bottom that you press in. It rotates it. It's a lovely, lovely thing.

Oh. I don't know. Event sources, the best homey stuff. I don't know what you get.

Yes. I love from this day. Go on. I have a look through.

It's very basic. It's a little key to this one. No. I would take your visor on.

I advise you to do that. Thank you Paul. Look at that. Oh, that is a lovely one.

Would you like one? I'm going to have the grey one. You can have the black. Is that closer to the original game boy?

Yeah. I understand. I picked the good one there. I'm just trying to use the action.

I haven't seen the action working. Right. What do you do? You do a little card at the bottom.

So you just click it. Yeah. It's a key ring as well. I'll put the bag down.

Put the next bottle of letter. It's eaten up. Right, so, time to finally crack open that mysterious price of shitecakes. You'll be able to pop the lock with this coat.

Ah, there we go. So it's bopping your heart. Can we all remember how you wanted to cheat on this bit? You wanted to give up and cheat on this bit, and there's a between in it, and your two put wings down, Paul.

You made one of the fucking fish thing, meaning nothing. That's a two-between bonus minimum. No, it's not! It doesn't say that!

Where does it fucking say that? It says, manage your lock at good, then you should have found a mechanical game of sorts, play it, boss and start, award the winner at a between, and a grab bag inside the grab bag of crap. So I've got one for two. And I have two, yeah.

Next time, now it's time to open the case that we have before. Thank you very much. You'll be able to pop the lock with this coat, Bob Newhart's Americans' largest and finest by far. Now, that episode was when we had that vinyl with Bob Newhart on it.

It was like the driving instructor. A novelty flexi disc containing two Bob Newhart's new heart, the driving instructor, which is a famous Bob Newhart sketch. He'd used to do one of these sort of monologues, sound up sketches. But the problem is, what does America's largest and finest by far mean?

It probably refers to another item on the episode, Paul. So let's just find the Bob Newhart episode. Do you have any idea what that might be? Another three-digit code.

Or digit code? Yeah. You put zero zero. So we've got to find that episode with Bob Newhart on.

So I'm just going to cheap show Bob Newhart and see if that comes up. It won't. Who don't know? I fucking...

The Bob Newhart show. No, cheap show. I'm not talking about that. So there's no listing at all.

Oh, no. You got it. Wait. Excuse me about that.

Excuse me about that. I don't know when you said that. Oh, yeah. And have a quick discussion on American comedy.

Drink some that reminds of a public toilet and cover some cool vinyl from Paul's chips at LA. Yeah, because that's why I thought it was an LA. What was the other record for a bonus point, Paul? I don't know.

Well, then, it's a sesame street guy. Yeah, you got it. Yeah. So even episode...

Excuse me about that. Tells me the shot floor. Froff shot. Just sending it to zero.

Okay. So episode number, Paul, please? One, three, five. That was two years ago.

Over two years ago. It's a existential. Can we just get on with it? One, one.

One, three, five. So it's zero, one, three, five. Did it? Did it?

It's like the Crystal Maze. Zero. We're in. We're in.

Right. Apart from the cases of regular content, you should now find a musical instrument of sorts. I get a between, I'd just like to say, if it's a backgammon thing. Because we both said that though.

No, I said, you said it was a gang center. I said it was a backgammon board. No, it just says, basically, it's your place and what you think it is. We were both wrong.

And then we say after that, a bonus between if you can guess it correctly. Yeah, it's fine. It's just a price. No, if you can guess the content.

Yeah, but I said backgammon. You fucking did it. Yeah, I did, because I told you about the cups. So thank you.

You even brought that up to me. You're taking credit for the things I said to you. I'm still one between us. You're a fucking psychopath.

I'm not a psychopath. Pro-led, that. Filled, difilled, difilled. I said that.

Shut up. I said that. I can't do that. I can sell noodles.

I like that. I call it. I never say that. I never rub my nose up.

I like how it does. It's got melty pops in it. Classic candy froshoe. You've got a lovely candy.

Lovely froshoe stuff. We've got ball, yeti, pepsils, red curry. So they have a red curry flavoring to it. We're going to do a whistle-stop bite of these.

Oh, got a Richie, Richie, Richie, Richie, Richie, Richie, Richie, Richie, Richie, Richie, Richie, it's like me, Nicky Nitas or everything. It is, can I just say, as we suspected a backgammon case. It's quite a nice one with inlaid, imitation leather, spiky bits and what they call it. It's very nice.

Funnily enough, it's what, Roger Moore plays in the film, Octopussy against the bad guy. Backgammon is one of those games that you can be really good at. Did you know that? No.

You can hustle people at it. A lot of the world-stop poker players started off as backgammon hustlers. Well, that was the big thing, all the tournaments were around backgammon, and then something happened and poker became the thing. But wasn't it all the celebrities at the time would play it?

Yeah, it was popular. But if you give this strategy and there's deep thinking you can be done on backgammon. Yeah, I've never really taken to it, but there you go. I'll never played it.

We've got an indicator of regular content or you can find some the instruments of sorts. I'll forget about that for now. First, I've bought the person with the most betwings, a blind grab inside the grab bag. So now you can get inside the bag, because you need the most betwings!

Yeah, I certainly do. Oh, and never you forget it. Now, pass me that grab bag of crap. You can't look!

You've gotta feel a way around and use your hands to decide what you want out of the bag. I think I might have really tapped in. Make sure you're on camera as well, so there's no more. How squishy?

Shit okay. How long should I go? Girl, go until it gets on your hands, and you've gotta pull it out. Come on, mate, we're doing it real- Real time!

Shut up! Everything takes you hot- No it doesn't! Don't bother trying to kill him. How about you shut your fucking face for once?

Right, I pulled it out. Where's my drinking booms? There's roll seaweed in there. It's grilled seaweed.

Ooh. Grilled squid taste. I don't think Paul will be trying that. I'm glad I didn't pull that out.

Ooh, it fails all smooshy. That's going to be nice. I'm feeling quite peckish actually. What are you trying to do now?

Is that what we're doing now? Well I've got to say, I don't mean need to ram all the rest of the inside of the case as you please. Now there's grabs to be won. Think of a song and try and play as best you can with the instrument of the melody pop inside the case.

If the other person gets it correctly, you're awarded a grab inside the bag. One grab each, don't overdo it now. Sorry, we got to do that. No you're not doing that.

You're doing the green thing and I'll eat the red. Why are you? Because I can't eat that. That's why I'm not eating that.

I know why you're... Wretched, hobody, fox stick. A hobody, fox stick. Yes.

Now Paul. Is that what we're doing? We're having... It's just sample the contents.

I'm like, Nate, listen when I read the letter that's going to Eli land in your head. And if I'm not best, then you're shit and it's not my fault at all. As I suspected, because this has been opened, it does not contain the seaweed snack list. What is it?

It contains something else. What is it then? It's a sock. I thought it was food, but is it one purple sock?

Yeah. Do I taste that? Is that a prank? Have they put that in for a laugh?

I know. It was squidgy. I thought it was like a foamy thing. It's quite a niff of seaweed.

It's a bit of a bad. It's a bit of a teddy that now Paul. The niff is a... It's a hot sock.