I've had feedback from a trashster. He made a complaint about you. And as a result, I've been downvoted on the app now. I've got a bag of reputation.
I've been complaining about me. Bin bag, bin. Bin bag, bin, make a complaint about me. Well, you know what?
I just say, have you got it open there? I've got it open now. I mean, I've got it open now. Give me a second.
I'll open up my trashster app. Feedback, reviews. Thumbs down, right, two bin bags down. Well, it's thumbs up in bags.
You get five bin bags. Five is the best. And I've gone down to two. Thanks to his review that bustles down.
Yeah, but why does he get to review us? What does trashster do? Why would you want that? How was that?
I made an episode, didn't it last week? And that was the conceit, stop peeling back the foreskin of the content of the show. Well, I'm going to wank off the shaft of the content of this show. It's my own mouth in a second.
No, no, stroke the content. I'm going to fucking juggle the balls of this show. Don't juggle the balls. Listen, trashster doesn't make sense in any way.
Not even as a made up app. That's what I'm trying to tell you. If you can go to trash the ball, is that? Listen, pull back this.
Pull right this thing. I can't write anything. Well, I'll tell you what about your fucking friend? You'll be there for being a dangerous man.
He's a dangerous man. He's a threat to me. And he's lucky. He's lucky.
I did not involve the constabulary in this. Involve the Metropolitan Police. Oh, yeah, the Metropolitan Police. Is that what you're going to get?
He says here. Hang on. After being asked to deliver a bin bag to and I've sent it the address, I was met with nothing but disdain, hatred and inquisitive inquiries from the hairy ugly fat squat one. This is the result I left feeling abused and ashamed by my work and it put me off using this service in the future.
It's not a service for him. He's providing us a service. The inherent contradiction of trashster is a thing. It's what an ugly cunt.
That's what he's put. And now I've got, and now I've got the two bin bags on the app. What do you mean two bin bags? What does that mean?
I was a five bin bag trashed at the IP. Well, get me a bin bag now. Oh, tell you all the one. Yeah, get him round in now.
I'll fucking... No, he's not. They might not be him. Listen, listen.
There's no way there's anyone else who works for trashster. Get him in the bag. I'm going to get another bag. Random order.
Send. Alright, so it's two minutes. Random order of what? I couldn't...
I couldn't... I couldn't... I couldn't... I couldn't...
It's been... It's been... I'm caking. Mate, this concept is over my head facing neck and chest.
Aww! I've developed this. Oh, hang on. Oh, is he...
Hello? Hello. I'm Trash back Timothy. Trash back Timothy.
Hi. I've got a bag for you that you've ordered. You've got to make it. I'm sorry, that was ordered in BimasNake.
We don't want to. Do I... Do I not get paid for this? You've got to get anything.
Did you waste my time? Did you waste my time?! I'm Trash back Timothy. Did you waste my time?
You're wasting my time. You're ugly cunt. You're getting ugly, ugly cunt. Oh my!
I was gonna... I'm going to... Yes, I've got a jock of your content. No, you just have to tell me one of two things about your back I don't know you I'm a private citizen.
Oh, how dare you? Oh, I'm off leave the house leave Paul hang on just got off put just give him. Oh, I've got one bag now on me. Yeah, you fucked this Please let's never do this again.
Okay, I guess welcome to teach you Shit, mate You fucking noodle potty And a girl and a nozzle right so right right right so I Fucking lights giving me turn it off there. You put those on oh fuck start sweating already I've got pure fucking poison coming out the pores in my head. I've got liquid forehead fucking venal liquid forehead drippy You're out right I'm probably for later the mike Just gonna fucking I'm gonna crash. Hey for those keeping a check at home making a list of this he likes feeling shit again So add this to your list of episodes and which he likes but claimed at the beginning of the episode that he feels like shit Oh, he is shit.
Oh, he's ill or he's dying I'll be like He's mapping his brow with a sponge you fucking grotty horror shit show right so hello Welcome to TV economy podcast we go to the bargain bin pound job and Charity shops are great Britain and bring you the treasure we find amongst the trash amongst the trest amongst the trash amongst the trash Here's the thing that's pissed me off recently. I don't know why it's got no bit hits But let's just get out the way when you fall over or you do something by mistake and you say I'll do that by accident You say by accident, but in America they say on accident which is absolutely fucking stupid I understand why that is no I don't because you do something on purpose or by accident So they're sort of saying why don't we sort of regulate you know make it regular so you use the same but doesn't work though on Accident by accident on purpose. That's fine. We can do that also when they say oh, I could I could give a shit about that It's like it's I couldn't give a shit.
I know you less about shit than this idea. Oh, you have to understand one thing language changes Yeah, it's not no collect changes changes everything love breaks the rules the rules you Know me that by accident thing as well, it's just one of those things it just sounds clunky yes It does your ear but these things change don't know the time anyway I think it's about all language. Yeah, it's these sort of dead metaphors that they sort of they sort of well together Right It's a new song from the dead metaphors Yeah, you're right that's much better No, come on I've got better song no, no, I don't please don't stroke this idea anymore Can we just go on the show French for example? Yes the word or should we in French you know what that means?
Oh, Chad we what's that? We got a big odd shot on We Right, so let's just crack up. Oh no, what did you say the last thing on by accident? Yeah, on accident.
Sorry. Yeah, it does sound bad But that is the way that I was developed and it's fine I just find it clunky to the ear when I hear it okay less could care less is a different Yes, let's just all agree right now Americans are bad with words. Yes. This is coming from us.
So let's move swiftly on P. Oh, but came hot this morning It came hot hot the steaming the man was literally like oh Please take this Monkey delivery is a little monkey delivery It's called monster is it no Big John she monster That's a different That's a mid-nap blue anyway this came this morning as we leave in the house and the chunky monkey came from the letterbox I imagine a very sort of ginger monkey peer coming in the calm stream Right ready break This morning from America and there was a bounty in there There's no sorry set me off the two syllables chunk and muckas. Yes What came in the PO box today, so Mike in America sent us a box full of stuff from gas stations in America Yeah, but I didn't want to bring all that in because it's quite a lot of snacks It's almost a little something in that package which is really unique and I think it's kind of really cool So I want you to we're gonna give you what came into clue is can we have some like you can wear it? We don't often do a lot of clothing on this one.
I'll give you a little bit of what you want So you've got it here. Oh, I can put it on. Yeah, so dress up I'm gonna give to you now is some merchandise and clothing from a chain of gas stations I guess we know they have any martin side yes, they did and they have their own branding now not only in food We're close so I laugh and this is gonna be derogatory because the t-shirt had the name of the company on yeah I think you'll appreciate it the company today. It's the name sounded me a black t-shirt It's a gildan nice quality nice quality soft t-shirt and there's a red.
Oh, I see what's the name the company Carmen to go Kum and go this is bizarre this is some kind of what does it say where and means more oh where and means more where and means How bad is that wait? I don't get that where ampersand means more I can't figure that out Where and does mean more because it's like I've got this box of a okay Yeah, why don't you spell the word and then oh look there's a must be there, but wait he's also said a great t-shirt Is that bigger? It's cut the logo looks like vans. Doesn't it no vans for shirts van clothing quite like the logo Yeah, come and go this is too small this one for me.
This is a medium. This is a large Right, he's put it on all I can see is fat Thomas No, we might be a nice bedtime show. I like where the t-shirt I'll show a bedtime t-shirt. You know you have t-shirts just for bedtime.
Yeah, I have a little this might be my bedtime job Come and go where and means more I hate that You look good in that it's a nice great. We'll take a picture of it later. But it's a lot of it This is the one that you might this is a baseball cap and go Yeah, no, I don't know what you think I don't like the idea of having a hat with the words come and go on the back As if it's a kind of side to say take it up the arse Just sign your name on the fucking form of the back left tattooed on my spine now I don't look at very good in baseball cats. I know I don't as well people they suit and others they don't do they Oh, I've done it too small.
There you go now. You are branded with common go. Yes. I've never heard of come and go I want to what part the states it's from.
Um, you've seen a letter. I know I'm a listen Please find and close on merchandise of a local chain of gas station in my area called common go They've been around since the 70s, but I'm not sure it was less suggestive back then Well, they definitely lean into it nowadays selling branded potato chips as well as clothing Oh, I'm sampling of which I've enclosed you might get a kick out of them. We did we did I like it I'll be aware this tonight. We're to my open face Chinese open face.
What face Chinese poker is that's not you from it all No, well good. I play open face Chinese poker pineapple high low pimp apple pineapple I don't know this is all just words. I'll wear that tonight. Yeah, you should have got new cards I don't aviation cards don't mention it all to anyone's you go in white's right.
I'm not going to card This is my friend's house. He mentioned it. No, I know what I'm saying is don't go insane Look what I'm wearing a chain just go in where everyone's on the poker table put your pants down and then go come and go Yeah, rough trade I feel terrible. Oh, welcome to come and go gas stations.
Why don't you pull in come go and pull out? I bet they didn't use that drive through brothe Dry fruit brothels drive through brothels Ruffle couldn't you put those prunes up my bubble? I think I've we've exhausted that we have got nothing this week You just decide me you're the podcast sponge sponge of what the things I bring you can No, I never will you please do I never will why I got aren't why can't you stop talking about come back to problem? Oh, and he's coming again everybody No, listen can we move on?
No, I wanted to mention pickled sausages right we're moving off I remember those red pickled eggs that we had yeah, and the red pickled sausage right that was truck stop food good Hmm great did he send any of those no did he send some food he sent some food and snacks and biscuits and bobs and all sorts of Also, no red sausage no red No, I think he's plasticy sausage with mystery meat inside angry red pickled sausage angry mystery sausage angry red nubbing shaped sausage Yes, and we've made the point abundantly clear now that you Swang my sausage swag it swing the nub in sausage hill the robbery goes Twang twang with my foreskin pop pop went my bum swing twing twing went my Berlin and I began to come We Can we move on we've exhausted on quote for the episode now train train train on the no bin Trying to hang to hang with my banjo string Paul can we move on we could but also could start the episode again? No, we're not playing again. We got plenty of time. I'm often you're fucking bingo card Eli says let's not the episode again I'm going to the episode.
I honestly think we were going to I feel that was very even by our very very low standards This was just a little bit better than usual No, let's move on you can fill this hat with cat right I've got some milky things pull Well, we can we taste something this week no we're not tasting anything. Oh my god. No, I don't know we always taste Foodless episode this week, please just one milky sweet from Bristol No, save it for next time one little milky sweet some Bristol one little milky No, one little pellet no, we're not doing it Oh chewy little pellet But what we are doing is a tails from the shop floor except this is called tales from two shop floors Tell the two cities a tailor to titties Taylor to clitties This comes from Melanie. Thank you Melanie for sending this in.
It's gonna be a tale of two shitties No, why don't you just fucking listen instead of interjecting with a name nonsense? I have two cents ten of two very good-looking people for us ten of two fitties. Oh, here's a story about two receipts It's called a tale of two chitties I presume it's a UK based story hello Eli quote-unquote master of tepid wanks at silver man tepid wanks What's a mean to me? Coffee coffee cocks gallon I get the bad one there The anatomically incorrect one I imagine your tepid becomes that fucking steam in hot every time It's been inside my body.
It's been warmed by my life. I think it's actually so cum laden So can we just move on all I'm saying is I've come and a normal temperature. It's hot hot sponge comes out my knob I need you next time when you come to take a temperature of your sperm It's gonna be it's gonna be standard across all humanity surely it's gonna be body temperature Yeah, which is not tepid this is the point I'm trying to make yeah, but what would you say tepid is I think I think I would argue tepid means you're not really fully hard when you come What you're talking about to flank That's what you're talking about I for that what happened in the army when you get flagged right hello Eli Hello, I recently this is this Melanie Hello, man, if you went wrapped up in your own fucking head just you'd take in the facts that I tell you simply want you to remind me It's co-hosting fucking percents. That's why it's already.
Oh well say again. No, please no Oh is it mate? This is a really long story and I'm not injecting with fucking asinine shite all right hello, Melanie Right. Thank you.
I recently discovered chief. You're on Spotify and it's truly become one of my favorite podcasts Oh, thank you Oh particular interest to me or your tells from the shop for and silverman platter segments and coincidentally I have a story for you that combines elements of both I think Eli in particular will get a kick out of that one, but don't worry Paul I've included a certain detail that should catch your interest. I hope you enjoy it's goes busses. No, it's not a read email Isn't it what is it then come no, it's a certain type of poor dog's Is it fucking hand puppets?
It's a hand puppet thing in this I think they call it hand puppets because you Josh off into them Yeah, and pretend to do zoom calls with them. That's the way to do it In the late 2000s. I worked at a newly open store in the Canadian branch of HIV. She's Canadian Ah as a massively pretentious high school student being constantly surrounded by walls of CDs movies and entertainment technology It was a great job first of all.
Let me say that while I know very little about HIV in the UK is dead here Isn't it pretty much yet? Are you still coming? There are a few stores But ultimately I think things like FOP and stuff have taken up because FOP is basically HIV in the UK Yeah, it's almost the same branding and new pricing and so I think it's this some kind of weird relation between the So they actually went under a few years back. Yeah, I mean we're having going digital HIV struggle to be relevant Yeah, which is why would you go in there if you go?
It's mostly fucking Funko boss. Yeah I think they've actually now gone There's one in the Westville century. Yeah, but they used to be like a massive like the biggest But they used to be a record company as well, didn't they? Yes I guess it was one of those things where they made the records and sold in the stores at the end I mean everything like this that this these days.
Anyway, she says my store was terrific the shop floor was extremely neat and clean The staff are very kind and extremely fun to be around and throughout my employment We never had a single issue with the customer most of whom were quite affluent greyhead boomers looking to pick up copies of thriller or the top Come soundtrack fortunately the trouble came in from another business not 50 paces across the street bad boy business rival business For some reason that I will never understand this shiny new HNV was located directly opposite a locally owned indie record shop The owners of which absolutely hated us. Yeah, well, they were fair enough. Yeah, because it's like McDonald's opening up next to a greasy spoon Caffle's well, it's a gen V. Yeah, but that's they've done it on purpose Of course it needs to compete under cut looking back we do understand some of their frustration We were a faceless corporation taking on the mom and pop music stores and almost instantaneously stole their entire customer base Yeah, that's the story of what happened with firm records in America during the 40s and 50s in what respect basically you'd have these Mon pop stores where they sell records.
Yeah, so you wouldn't be able to work the record was came by and things like that They weren't record shops. It would just be a shop. Maybe there's a grocery and they have records in there Do you see them like a Woolworths? I guess yeah, yeah, okay local Independent ones and that's how records were sold especially in the R&B the funny thing is it's hard to feel so page I'm being when you see what Amazon did and all those stores and Spotify and iTunes came in went Oh, people don't need you anymore then no, which weirdly made HV the mom and pop kind of they sort of get their sympathy But yeah, they weren't they were always obviously they just couldn't adapt quickly enough to the name block was the video They completely shot the bed they could have easily been the next Netflix, but they didn't see they couldn't yeah that model coming They didn't see the model coming so unlike the plot of countless 90s movies though It was a little guys who were the villains in this story They were the worst kind of turn of the decade hipsters that you could imagine be a d stuck up Or to the condescending jerks that would laugh in a customer's fate before trying to upsell them tear garden by collidescope I don't know what that sounds pretentious collidescope or collidescope.
It says collide with a Y before the scope So collidescope sounds pretentious a bit like a man from the 60s collidescope. Oh, amazing. Well, I don't know either way I can imagine they were the people like a west coast back. I just go.
Have I ever played you any of them brilliant? What music is it? It's sort of psych rocks sort of like birds or mums and puppers So actually with but there was a guy who was that whole to peg a canyon sound yes, but he was yes very much But he was like a Middle Eastern guy who could play some of those slightly more exotic I suppose you call them like a star or something. Yeah, that kind of thing But he could play several of them so really added a lot of sort of that texture to the records Oh, I look for all this information out of the episode Thank you for fucking email works cheap fucking interactions and you so they were hipsters.
They were nasty hipsters They're like sneering hipsters if you went in and tried to buy other known letters for example brass They laugh in your face like that film. It's like Jack Black character in high fidelity. Yeah, or Empire records if you remember that I didn't see that I mean I love Empire records It's a pretty awful film imagine breakfast club set in a trendy rock record shop in the 90s that kind of thing So yeah, the store was filthy clotted and carried only the worst of the owners housing bands in the CD and vinyl Which is still a hard sell in those days. So what does that mean they're saying like they would purposely buy in rare stuff That was hard to sell.
I don't know give me that sentence again The store was filthy clotted and carried only the worst of the owners housing bands of Only the worst of the owners housing bands. Yeah, you see the vinyl in our contrast I saw carried everything from music to PlayStation 3 games to new blue rays and a very welcoming atmosphere and was managed by a head supervisor With a massive pair of tits that basically sold on merchandise by itself in comparison getting told that you were a moron for asking Where the spinal tap soundtrack was by someone who looked like a trampy version of James Corden See much less appealing to the buying bublic. Oh, it's a funny thing though, isn't it? Because you've got the corporate America where it's like have a nice day come in great shopping experience But then you've got the kind of independent shops which can lead support But they're owned by people who are off-putting to the general They can be even in this country.
There's little record shops where I can be quite Alan's and he's very welcoming I thought he was what I thought there was one of that in London who was like Alan is he famous there? He's very nice. Yeah, he's very nice guy fair enough And he has a he just has someone helping him a lot at the time and they just talk about Arsenal You know I mean they like very sort of salt the earth down to earth I bought a lot of comedy albums from there like sorry I'm very shocked at whatever yeah, so I don't think that's a good example But there are some where it's very much sort of you feel you feel stupid for asking a question I've been in record shops so many times and people just come in and they go Have you got the Michael Jackson and that must get like or you know have you got Abbey Road by the Beatles? Have you got fleet with Max rumors?
Yeah, exactly and that must get to you if you were then that's why you'll go to a Genv because you don't get judged. Yeah, what I mean? Yeah, so there's a place without absolutely then that's why I choose and stuff be any huge success because guilty pleasures You could buy without being judged. You don't have to you know have to do yeah I will buy that pineapple pencil because it's a fucking no there's no shame I mean a lot of things online have become like that as well Yeah, pretty much you know have the shame that you'd feel in every life situation Just what gets to me is when I'm fucking in a record shop.
Yeah, I'm looking I'm looking at records Yeah, I'm looking at the records I might well buy one yeah, and some fucker comes in and they just get right up next to you And they're not even properly looking some random. Yeah, they're just in there Yeah Just flip through you know just flick through the records and they're just not even looking you can tell they're not even looking at What you can't yeah, cuz like fuck you like fuck off. You're not fucking interested in buying a record don't come in Just a guy no, it's just you fuck off and then they get on the fucking record player They stand behind you wait for you to get off the record player Then I don't know how to operate a record player tails from the dance floor shop floor dance right all rivalry began When the owner of the shop began a passively aggressively pinning up self-made posters directly in front of our store telling customers to Adeck big business and support local retailers fair enough until they were caught slipping set posters into spaces between our glass sliding doors Removing these sheets of paper meant disassembling the doors entirely. Oh, that's processed that blocked off our stores entrance for at least an hour at a time Wow, they're getting hardcore terrorism next came the fire so some prongs into their curtains or something like that.
Oh, that's a good one It's also euphemism. It's not something cool next came the firestorm of verbal abuse hailed at our customers as they walked to from our business This is just completely out of all this So reason being insulted by these wankers on the way to their cars didn't change our customers shopping habits course not fuck off This is terrible, isn't it? Imagine your job you like outside the front just cool people coming out of nature You got fucking Abba you absolute moron fuck off queen's great as it Oh Tastes you fucking plebiscite moron Swat look at that nonsense with the people's blue and red best You think you're so hit with the fucking beetles you twat. They were the biggest This what your perfect job back you that was a phobia you're buying Moby.
I'll tell though to be fair Yeah, once they get Moby you'd swear you ruined the impossible Moby I'm gonna fuck after that was the vandalism on mostly plastic cereal to get absolutely covered in jet black spray plates spray That's why I thought I Both haphazardly and in the shape of various colorful curse words well known to listen to the cheap show podcast Yeah, shit, I bet he didn't right shop the other side of fucking a John is not swear word I'm not a piece of shodney's not a swear word. Oh, yeah Which necessitated frequent deep cleans that further prevented customers from entering the store I mean this is I mean you got get the floor in well We did alert the local authorities were rivals doors conduct on numerous occasions But our complaints were off of this mist as no real harm to person all property had been caused. They're so yet They're so lazy the police in Canada, aren't they? Sorry, I'm listening to the last podcast on the left and about the serial killers in the Academy the police always the kind of police are fucking terrible I don't want to do down the whole of the Canadian people the Canadian justice Yeah, but the police sound fucking terrible now for the stories climax one night following a particularly successful holiday season for our enterprise One of the indie shops owners broke into our store with a hammer I'm kind of his head what and apparently started shouting obesity at the top of his long start shouting obesity's So he starts shouting obscenity.
Yes at the top of his lungs Thankfully we were closed for the holiday break at the time of the intrusion immediately upon shattering the glass door the rival Own it tripped our stores alarms this the good and the police came I heard that by the time the police arrived on the scene the intruder was passed out over the store checkout counter and I'd Vomited across one of the cash register. Wow. He was booked and spent the next year in prison. Yeah, wow fucking Oh, he fucking broke in in the end the indie record store did get the last laugh over the next few years They somehow managed to trundle on on the few remaining customers they had mostly thanks to the well-timed vinyl resurgence Well, yes, that happened right around that time.
Didn't it started happening? I'll also come to the death of the HMB Canada brand digital music services called on They died alone for the world didn't it round that time as well in our defense? We were consistently popular and profitable until we close in 2014 and I think you'll both agree that we we're much more than Offersia and he compared to the practice. Thank you for the show Hope you enjoyed the story a lot for tomorrow comedy podcast locks keep well you to pass along mason series greetings to the great Clyde McFlatter.
Yeah, thank you Melanie. I'm trying to get a hold of McFlatter. It's been very difficult. No spending to the baby man and he's dead so that helps Two things pop out of me.
Oh, so I put it back in How's it two things you're willing Anyway That's funny, isn't it that a big lady made people buy merchandise because they wanted to go to the counter and be served by her I mean come on sex sells mate. I guess we should make a sexy calendar and sell it cheeky numbers No towel no sports were me and you just as footballers in the shower. Oh, what are you talking about? Rub it off stroke in the contents what she needs January right we're in the park naked.
Yeah, are you very? I'm just bit balling. I do tastefully not been off a dog February there's a punch and you show Oh, yeah, I don't know you could buy a new man. No, I'm coming in no Watch Eli.
I won't take part in that naked covered noodles. I'll do that April me Roughly with you were the coming go t-shirt. I've come and got a thing that popped out at me Paul. Sorry.
I can't get Was when I said selling a prone into a curtain Two things from the story that didn't that pop out you weren't necessarily from the story It's your self-obsessed fucking obsession with yourself. I said prones so two things that stick out you stitching prones and big tips That's what you took from that story. Basically, right. What a fucking waste of time You are in general wretched.
Yeah, and well, yeah Apologize for all of us. I'm not just a whole podcast. We might get to that No, it's not your bad today because you drink too much don't look after yourself eat poorly and then you're You're working for work. I had some spaghetti today.
Did you? Yeah? Yeah, anything with the spaghetti sauce olive and tomato sauce olive and tomato sauce. That's nice.
It's a nice. Yes, Basil I don't mind if I do I don't know how to end this segment right now I'll tell you what you do Paul press stop. No, I might just press it. No, you should say it's prones into the curtain I'm not selling prones into the I'll sow some fucking hard prones into your curtain King prawn Again, I don't know why you laughed at that imagine selling a massive King prawn as I was curtain.
I will I thought it liquefied Rippy Queen prawn. Yeah, Queen prawns you get those Queen prawns. I don't know I like a princess prawn Prince prawn You know what? All good Look out Jimmy Jimmy Billy Jimmy Willie.
Oh, really boy. Really boy Jim. Yeah, man. I've got it I'll do instrument.
No, I'll bring instrument back if you let me do this. I'll let you do this. All right, let me do this now I'm interrupted right the nights get cold fireplaces warmer. Let's go to page turn off The nights get cold days.
What now you think I'm playing as well. Okay, I'm trying to put page turn up turn up what round to turn up Erna Get make a nice little learner. It's time for Paul's page. No, no you go out and say you're asked it's a nice little learner What's that got to do with prawns page?
I'll show this is a sorry what No, I let you do that. No, I did let you do that now you can do someone here. Yeah, it's been a long long time I want you to be nice. It's been a long time Oh My jingle wasn't worth this hello Paul hello, it's Larry instrument I know so I noticed by the lack of you attempting a voice you like to do this character So go on well, I've heard that you know my services are needed again I need you to measure this book in inches, please.
All right, and then I give you I give you the interest Give me the interest. Yeah, please. He's just measuring it now with his thumb and that was penis is otherwise inch inch inch inch inch inch Oh, so it's what five and a half inches six and a half inches. That's about national average.
I know yes, please Thank you. Do you want to say hello to the listeners? Hello? Everybody Larry instrument here.
I'm in recovery. Oh, what from I was addicted to painkillers after Incident with build on up he got me addicted to painkillers and Right past the book, please inch past the book please. Oh, don't do that. Okay.
Yeah, please go now Yes, please go give you a couple more inches just to keep me touch type me over it's Larry instrument hello everyone I'm back I'm back here. I'm shaky. It's good to know you're looking good Thanks for that Paul. No, he needs it.
He needs it because you know, he's like he was it bad It's from a cell I know you got the bit pale getting up to go let me in the doors completely exhausted me I Was a book left over from the black bin by last week I left a little note and so who wrote it in the notes fell out So I will add it to a metadata who donated this book and this book is called boiling water in a paper cup Oh, can you even do that? I think you can it says on the back you can boil water in a paper cup discovered the secret of E ox or we are just look I know it's put a paper I ox or I oxie I Oxy oxie I oxie oxie cotton. Let me see that look what's that word say the end of the book? I oxie oxie it's a hoxie.
It's some kind of it's probably something else. It's in the book That sounds like an ink and or may and god or something doesn't it and make dry quotes on quotes water. Oh, no That's coming fucking that is stepping on Jimmy sprinkles Sprinkles here's a collection of fascinating puddles puzzles I love puzzles and amazing believe it or not facts that seem utterly impossible until you read the explanations in the back of the book Oh, it's literally that it's a collection of curiosities incredible statements as well as amazing facts that seem impossible There was also these wasn't it I used to have this brilliant 1940s version of one of these books from America and it's like how to do all of these things it had all those puzzles with like Matches won't move one match to do this hello to those and like you know coins You know how to fool your friends it was but it also had like how to make beef burgundy on like how to do it cheaply and all these weird other stuff in there Like I really wish I still had that book you'd love it. It was like those kind of It's like a proper original version of it like like a Marvin games era sort of that kind of thing Yeah, so it is just a book full of these kind of things This one though, so here's the thing I think it's a British I think it's an American published this Scholastic book service to New York Toronto London Auckland Sydney and Tokyo And this is it a little bit of it Oh look at that fucking stick around It belongs to Eric so it was Eric who sent this That's how I know why don't give me that sticker.
No, it's on the book. Let me see. I want it Steam it off. It's a little book work.
I'll get a wet it off It's a little book. I'll drop it and I have a look honestly can I have a look? Oh, I fucking know. Wow that sticker is so old school, man It's a little bookworm and this book belongs to it's one of those stickers Yeah, it's a book where he's with specs on Paul He's got little specks on him inside of book.
He's even reading. Where's he been eating the pages of the book? Is that real thing? Where there were little ruffs that live in books on there?
Yeah, they eat it Like a microphone real close to them More like Yeah, yeah Nothing noises here's the thing The only time I've ever seen a bookworm is in like cartoons from the 1930s where bookworms come out and they go I've eaten that book. Oh, it must have come from an insect at some stage. I mean I presume so it's written by Jerome S Mayor Is their inchworm that's what they're fucking is I've got his own right now. Is it the pocket?
That's not inchworm. I'm getting Larry back. He's sitting in the car park. He's Jack.
He needs his own. Larry's jacking up in the car park mate We can't have Jerry Larry Jackie. No, I'm sorry. He does what he does with his painkillers now.
He's got his advanced mate Can't we just get a car do inchworm. Maybe no inchworm can be his little pet keep on company. Well, should I? You want to talk about this?
Put them back in the bottle get into them later. Okay, let's get out there. He'll be on the note after he's jacked up. Yes Oh, I'm sorry to be skipping through because how do you know how you will boil water in a paper cup?
It doesn't actually have doesn't say that doesn't list them in like on the front page of like no contents No, so I'm just going through it page by page at the moment. Oh here It's a family boiling water in a paper cup. Can I just say before you start what I think it is go on how you could go on? I don't know go on paper cup.
Yeah, put it in a cap boy microwave. No, well, that would work as well No, because it was working easy. Oh shit. This is pre-microway pre-microwarway.
What year is this? I'm on 70s. It looks those look 70s. It's a tatty book very tatty.
1970. Yeah, I would just put fill a pot Yeah, yeah, so I've merged a paper cup into it sit the hobo you're a gower. It's boiling. It's in the You know, it's valid.
I think with the 1970 science and get dry water you Outcome on a windscreen and then squeeze it off. You can drive water smoke it. You smoke people's dry coming up It might be actually dry water might be something like a mist or something, you know I don't know something mist a bliss Right boiling water in a paper cup Did you know that you can place a paper drinking cup on the stove and like to the burner under it without burning the cup at all Oh, no, no, don't try this 70s isn't it just like yeah, burn down your house. Yeah, hello kids.
Have you got access to a good and a knife? Yeah, because you could do a great trip. You know you can actually prize your eyeball out and still see out of it Did you know you could shoot a dagger out the sky? Well?
It's like it reminds me of like those adventure playgrounds. I used to have in that era, you know, like absolutely Yeah, okay, so of course all you have to do is fill the cup with water if you do that and keep the flame fairly low the cup will not catch fire The cup will even boil in the cup how come now? I've got to go to the back of the book now for the answer to tell you what the answer is go up the water changes the nature of the paper Cup it says the water in the cup keeps the cup cool Yeah, thus preventing the flame from reaching the kimbling temperature necessary to set the cup on fire I still wouldn't fucking want to try that though. That's terribly irresponsible of the people who made this book to put that in basically You know what people fucking around with paper?
You know when you're out what if it's like a heavy wax paper cup and it's extremely flammable Exactly. Well, I think what if it's like a fireball? Yeah, it is the paper. What's in that water on a stove?
Well, no, because it's still thin you wouldn't how could you get water into a razor paper anyway? Well, exactly. I'm just proving how to make a cup out of rizzler papers. I guess you could I tell you what you do Well, you get a normal cup and you sort of paper the inside with with rizzlers.
Yeah, and then you pull it out Yeah, like a mashover. And then you fill that with water. Maybe that would work And then you put it on there. Well, don't try that at home kids Here's another one.
Can I come in it? How do you stick him up without stick him stick my come up something? I do stick him up. What it's a fact You can actually place playing cards on a wall and have them stay there without using any kind of adhesive rather On your what you want to know how you get them all rubbed up static.
I'm surprised you didn't just say I come on it Well, it's really splashing counts as glue in this scenario thing All it says is how you stick to all that adhesive and glue cool isn't necessarily an adhesive does work isn't it Hissing to my magazine collection. Yes, yeah, right, which is rock solid a plain dog. Oh, Brock of Fiesta's Ice cream it wasn't Fiesta a porno maybe razzle that's all Fiesta was it Fiesta? No, it's a car Housler growler growler Really live you know what Paul this made me think yeah, I'm reading a book about slang at the moment Yeah, and you know when you go waste you describe a wank as a grumble.
Yeah, but you know where that comes from No, it was rhyming slang and you've changed the meaning because it's grumble and strife grumbling grunts So what I stop getting it all grumblins not last mamble. Yeah, well, I've made it a sad act You make it wanking so yeah grumble mag doesn't refer to what you do the grumble I'm sure I'm in the mag I've got a mak because it's the grumble. They are pictures of grumble in it. Yeah big old plops Isn't that I thought that was quite interesting.
I thought it's quite it's a rhyming slang Yeah, I'm a little ancient sort of like from the 1700s and that's means a sad wank But that's because of the magazine and it's gone to yeah Yeah, so I'm playing card will stick to all if you hold it in your hand and rub your feet along the carpet slow Yes, that's what I said static, but you're not rubbing the card you're holding the card and rubbing your feet This is all very much read of the 70s where they had carpets that were 100% nylon and each Yeah, it's so weird how all of these things like no one would ever put that as like kids should try and ball water and No, I will not wear it around or you know, I just wouldn't do it full stop I wouldn't say come on come put that cup on from the stove. I'll try it We could try it with that coster cole. Oh here is the dry water thing when is water not wet Gary curry back because of Lee Pearly goodness. Well, thank you.
So we're at when it is dry says the book It's bullshit. You want to just let me talk before you just tell me everything's bullshit This is gonna be underwhelming like your fucking penis Just add two teaspoons of zinc Steerate to a glass of water and let it floats on the surface now dip the tip of your finger not more than an inch inch Into the water when you take it out you'll find that your finger is perfectly dry try it for yourself That's a load of shit and I bet zinc steerates deeply toxic as well I don't know what that is. It's like papa. Do you have a zinc steerate please for my dry water experiment?
Papa no, I use it to jack up with mommy's lonely now Paul that wasn't going where I thought it was going you know, I thought it was going go on The zinc steerate would be something that stuff that they put in those Tokyo piss emergency things that turn your weirder jelly like that What what when is this this is come up on the show several times? No, but what you must pick you on the tube you're on the tube You're getting caught short you're you piss into the salary man in Japan you pissing Tokyo yeah, I understand that Crystal's like yeah, I'm jelly when you wet it yeah. Yeah, yeah, that's what I thought it was going I thought the six-year-eight would do that so make it dry so make it to a jelly Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, flinging out about no wet piss jelly imagine adding natural tri-phone feeding an ambassador with it Why could I like thinking about those things? Oh, Vollivon Ambassador?
It's piss jelly, right, it's a puzzle for Eli, a puzzle for Eli, and now something to challenge my mind Okay, here we go. It's called double dilemma. Oh double dilemma your bum bum A certain king, where's this last? Who had two sons?
Right, if you're gonna find a figure this up you have to let me speak So I'm enjoying this, I'm enjoying this book. A king has two sons and left on usual will upon his death My sons shall ride straight away to the neighboring city of Blenheim to the one who gets their last I will bequeath my entire kingdom Blenheim, I'm not gonna repeat this, so if you don't get it Okay, so the point who gets their last I'll give my whole kingdom to you want to get their last last Okay, so it's a reverse race So accordingly when the father died his sons mounted their horses and headed to Blenheim A distance of 200 kilometers, but since each was determined to get their last they soon reached the point where neither would move a step ahead of the other Finally they stood next to each other on the highway hopelessly deadlocked at a loss of what to do next They met a man who offered a solution, but what was that solution? How'd you secure getting their last? Just make a deal the solution is you make a deal one of your rivals and gets it and then you agree to share it He's dead there, anyway, so they just agree to share it Okay, maybe in the end of that Who has to make sure it goes through well one of you arranges with the other Oh, yeah, surely tap tap Surely and then I'll be back We've got no back down to these brothers They sound like pretty bad rivals, don't they?
Well, maybe not because they both decided to stop and figure this out They didn't because a man came along Oh, yeah, go on I'm not swearing at each other with the man who knows what the man's advice is and now that I've read it I'm hugely disappointed really is it terrible give me a clue of what sort of solution is it? So there is a clue in the part of the story and I'll read the part of the story out, which is the clue, all right? So when the father died they mounted their horses and headed to blemom That's the clue be mounted their horses That's the clue. Yeah, it sounds like a dirty movie They're coming go Horsy come and go They mounted their horses Yeah, and wrote their horses to blemom That's that's the roots of the solution to this Don't go to bed.
I don't just tell me Yeah, right it's stupid The man told the king sons to change horses and then raise the town Oh Do you see what I'm getting at? That's not fair That's underhanded that does not a solution It's not because the man was a cunt Well, he met some fucking idiot on the road He just fucking go to town and it doesn't make any sense for what I'm saying Is he saying that if you swap horses therefore they're not used to the ride They're for swap horses and then ride to town what town? Blenom back Because what they're saying is because they're only got the sources they won't have to ride them to the best of their ability So therefore the one who gets their last to be the one who doesn't know how to ride a horse But then that's the one that is the one of the worst things I've ever witnessed in my whole life That is letting down generation of children Who ever? And he must have looked at that and thought what is the point people to treat me like this You know set up something like that and fucking just completely fail to answer it completely fail in every way Who wrote this?
Who wrote this? Well, I don't know who wrote it particularly but this is compiled by Jerome S. Meyer It's him, it's S. Meyer Come on, give me another one, I like that I like it when it was all over the place It was like when we did that thing on the Borschons, the other brain teasers And it was all like how many bottles of...
Oh, those were all 4p It was like what are you talking about? They were wrong but also you know what fascinates me about these books Is they are a little window, so what is acceptable for children at the time? Yeah, and both of those in different ways suggest how it was different then Like the whole boring water in a paper cup is just purely health and safety Just wouldn't, you couldn't do that on place And the whole way that it would be so easy with the amount of static electricity you could generate By rubbing your feet on the ground Just say something about what carpets were made of back then Look, Timmy's in hospital, why? Well, he had a pulling cup of paper I was quoted in his face like trying to make card static And the resulting explosion took out the building And then he had a fucking embolism because he was so angry with the fucking non-solution to the fucking king's son Alright, here's another one for you called guessing odds or evens Right, odds or evens Sue Smart had an argument with Gilbert Goof You fucker Billy Blowhard Fuck the Billy Blowhard It's me right, this sucker hard, really While I'm berating this for lack of imagination, you fucking say that Spofard Great That the Bruce Miller's film that got banned That's not again, listen Sue Smart had an argument And then I'd go see Blowhard Johnny Goof, what's he called?
Sorry, I will listen Do you know what's hard? When you go WASH THAT CART CART CART CART As you're talking over me telling you his fucking name Now I just tell me and I know what's hard I know what's always hard Sue Smart had an argument with Gilbert Goof and Billy Blowhard They boasted boys had better heads for figures than girls But Sue disagreed to prove their point She asked that one picking odd number and the other picking even number And not tell her what the numbers were or who would pick which Sue directed Gilbert to double his number and Billy to triple his And then add the results When they gave their answer She promptly announced which boy had chosen an odd number And which an even number Sue's trick dates back to Shakespeare's day Can you figure it out? Yes You pick an odd number, I pick an even You double that number and I triple it And then... Okay, let's go get very basic Let's go two and three As a result, but they're obviously saying to put We turn around the same and say it was 266 And then from that she knows which one picked Aarton Evans Yes But it doesn't say any point in this puzzle They told her the number That's apparently written in this book Well, when they gave their answer She promptly announced which boy had chosen an odd number and even Oh So they went his number and had an odd number together Five on the date Oh, so I times it by two Yeah So you pick an odd number right now Three and I'll pick an even four And you double yours That Sue knows which one of us No, he doesn't That's what it says here Well, does she know who's trickling and who's doubling?
Yeah, because she says we've got the doubles We've had the odd number Had to double it And we've had the even had to triple it No F*** Gilbert had to double his odd number And the triple number was... She asked one to pick a... Wow, no, she doesn't know which one picked which So two of them You went, I'll do odd and I'll do even And then one of them doubled it And one of them tripled it Ah, now I'm beginning to make sense No, I don't understand at all I'm much further away from understanding No, because what the puzzle saying is Is that they're only so many of them It's mathematical Can I read it? Can I please read it myself?
That one's 78 The front page just came off So we go Yeah, it's really... This is the last service that's spoken of So me and you Me and you pick a number each But we don't tell her that you've picked odds And I pick evens Then you've doubled yours And I triple mine And then we add them together and tell her the answer And then she goes From that Which one of us picked odds and which is even How? I don't know At the answer in the back of the book isn't it? How?
But I'm guessing that the number the overall number Will have to be Yeah, but how can you... A number is just a number So it's 18 How did I just keep telling you 18? And then I go I pick two and I pick three So that means you have four and I have nine And then we say together the answer is... 13 And then she'll go Right, Eli pick No, I don't know So I just fucking read this Because I'm the guy This is going to be disappointed What was it?
Number 78 She says don't tell us who picked what? Here we go No, but someone with the odd answer Doesn't say which one said to her that I'm... Oh mate, oh mate I'm in the world of hurt here So I just get this out of my world of pain This is going to be so bad Sue asked Gilbert Sue asked that Gilbert double his number A Billy Triple his And then add the results She knew that it was the sort of... That's not in the fucking question That's not what he says He's not in the question He's reading this out Sue asked Gilbert to double his number And Billy Triple his And then add the results She knew that if the sum were even Gilbert had chosen the odd number Therefore Billy had chosen the even number Yeah She knew...
Oh, no Okay, so she said No, she doubled it And who? Yeah, so she just wrote the number as But she told you to double yours No, that's not what she says Isn't that book? Is it not? No, read that...
Billy Balabar, they voted blah blah blah blah blah So to prove the point She asked that one pick an odd number And the other pick an even number Yeah, but she... Wait, and then Sue told Gilbert to double her number Oh that says it there And Billy Triple his Okay, so it is in there So what we learnt there is We're ship bastards Do you want to have to untie a knot in human hair? You might like the solution So the offer the bet, right? So you have to moisten it in some way Yeah Okay, all nice and moist So you go into a pub, right?
And you offer to bet someone That you can undo a knot in their strand of hair This is exactly like that book I had With all these little bets and things It's like it's a proper genre There's loads of these Like when you buy a magic set There's 150 tricks Yeah, yeah Four tricks And then over 100 shitty little things like this Right, so you pluck a hair Out of your head Or anyone's head it says Well, you should do, yeah And then tie a simple knot as shown So you know, just cross it entire, right? That'd be quite tryable And you try it to hair Yeah, I know, right? After what I'm thinking How'd you do it? Draw a knot as tight as possible Without snapping the hair And then it'll be almost invisible And cannot be untied with the fingers Even when the aid of tweezers pins or other tools I don't know how you're going to do this How are we going to do this?
Place the hair in the topmost crease of your palm, right? Doing it now Right I'm doing this I've got to get a hair You're going to do it, all right, you're like, all right Do it then He's pulling the hair out of his fucking horrible wreck head Fuck off There's all this all comergy fucking visage Listen, sailor Jim You know, you look like Chip and Dale Who's lived a really tough life since 1988 At least I sometimes used to get my dick out for the ladies Yeah, but now you're just getting out for the fucking dinner ladies Dinner ladies need to be broke as well He was on wheels Every fucking fortnight Are they dinner ladies? I call them dinner ladies They're not dinner ladies, they're meals and wheels ladies You get all your jobs at flat You know where you're wanking off in front of people who deliver your hot boys That ain't been banned, been banned, betting He's not a fucking proper job, is it? It is He's a been man, John, the day, because it's on the side Deliver's what?
Trash That doesn't work for me Oh, I'm sorry I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine, you're hard to Just tie in hot Simple, just tie in hot You're here, I'm not touching your fucking beer I'm fine, I'm not touching your main with Bill I don't care, I don't want to touch your hair It's an oriole shampoo I don't want to touch your end bar of you in general So just tie in hot in it, it's not that hard I can't do it Why can't you do it? I can't all the lights shining the wrong way It's because you've got trotter hands, isn't it? That's why you can't do the dexterity To tie a simple knot in a strand of hair Because you have great big You drive away I don't have long enough hair I don't have a long enough piece of hair So you can't, yeah So you, I tried to use only Pabs Yeah, I just said I pluck a Pab out Pluck my oriole hairs Right, so let's get on with this Cheers Okay, so you put the knot in the top most greasy upon The knot near the palm edge In the little picture, it's basically Right there, right there I haven't got a good crease up there And the tail of the knot protruding So that means if you've got a long piece of hair It has to come out of either side of your hand And the knot right in the middle And the uppermost part of your palm Right, literally moisten the knot with saliva Ah, this, now you get a lick of your hand What is going on with this book? Has it got a lick of hair in your hand?
I would someone want to do that Well, hang on, here we go Next, close your fist And start pounding the tail against your other palm It's shown I see what it's working out You've got this palm and you're bashing it On your hand Mate, you're into a puppet Say look what I can do No, no, no, no, no, no Get your feet shut through the window Out the bum Yeah, it will take a few minutes But if you keep pounding, the knot will begin to open up So continue to pound No, soon the knot will be sufficiently loosened For you to untie it with your fingers That is terrible and weird And I'm just doing that I'm twinging my genic This whole book is grubby and dangerous And unhygienic Like the era it was born in Yeah, let's have another one, I love that Let's do one more then, shall we? Just on a technical point, though, Paul You could use it for that, couldn't you? You could, I mean, you could make all the things today Of all the mentions of Spunk today That's the most technically appropriate And with this one Cooking with gas Cooking with spelt K-O-O-K-I-N-G Cooking with gas Lidl of blood with K Yeah, beginning So cooking with gas Or cooking with coo As in a coo Yeah, cooking with gas Oh, this is not going to be I'm reading this out because they're fucking OK So there's a lot of K-S in this room How can they use this to roam? He mustn't have a fucking Lucky hates kids, he wants them to hurt themselves, you know what I mean?
You ready? Coco, the king of coops, consorted this chief coog About the cooging in the castle coo In the castle coo Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah So after what I'm putting up with Coco, the queen of coops, consorted the chief coog About the cooging in the castle coo Coo coo, coo coo Only two conditions can occur And they are mutually exclusive Coo coo coo, your coo coo Thank you, you see, either a coo coo coo Or he is not coo coo But therefore he is not coo coo He is coo coo, scratch his crown You mean he is not coo coo Then he is coo coo Exactly, so quick complaining What was wrong with the chief cooox logic? What the fuck did I go through? I'm going to have to read that myself Now, take notes here, Paul I don't even know who to do it No, just hold in your mind What the coogs are doing and what they are using What they are utensils, coo coo King of the coogs He is the king of the coogs Doesn't matter Yeah, that's just calling him coo coo He consulted his chief, chef That's calling him a chef and not a coo coo Let's just try and decook the fire It'll be easier, coo coo What the fuck are coo coo?
I don't know The castle kitchen is what it is Yeah, it's what it's like, isn't it? Coo coo said the king, because his name is coo coo His chef? Oh yeah, so the king is not coo coo, is he? No, the king is called coo coo What's the king called?
King coo Oh no, yes, no, the cook's talking to the king Cook's talking to the king, who's called coo coo Yes, so coo coo said the chef The coogs talk to coo coo Yeah, right Only two conditions can occur and they are mutually exclusive So only two things can happen Only two things can happen and only one of them can happen Like a certain weird, it's saying there's two possibilities that things can happen The one who's exclusive means one can only happen if the other one doesn't Yeah, right Right, first of all, right? That's what he's saying I don't know what he's referring to No, my brain, no So, the king replies Yes, your coo coo, you're mad Yeah, because it does sound weird there, doesn't it? No, you don't understand it, you don't understand it No, I don't understand it No, I don't understand it No, I don't understand it No, I don't understand it, but I was But no, in the thought experiment, the cat is both dead and alive at the same time, it's not a superposition But until it's observed, it can be either No, yes, that's the whole point No, when you observe it, it becomes either dead or alive Yeah, before you've observed it, it's in both That's just said that That's not what you said It is what I just fucking said Fuck, you come with a cake You're quite sorry as I queaved out in my Dutch oven Coooke, now, let's see if we can fucking solve this Because a children's fucking book from 50 years ago is not gonna fuck me up It has already Okay, so the king's like, you're fucking mad, mate Yeah, you know? What the fuck do you mean?
Bit like us, Paul? Yeah, so this is the chef, haven't explained himself Yeah, you see, either a cook is cooking, either a chef is making preparing food Yeah, he's cook or cooking Or he's not cooking, or he's not preparing food Yeah, obviously, therefore, if he's not cooking He is cooking, if he's not cooking, he's cooking Yeah, because he's not cooking, then he's cooking Shut up, shut up! I'm just repeating the book! The book, if he's not cooking, then he is cooking How can we both not doing it and doing it, Paul?
Is that like this drawbridge is so open and closed? Exactly, so. What's wrong with the chiffes? Give me the book, I want to get this sorted, I'm fucking tired of it Is there something in the back that answers this?
If you go to the 78 at the back, whatever the number is, it gives you the answer You can't cook and not cook at the same time, I know, so let's just take this out Before I fucking stop smashing this rule, what number is it? What's the number on the casual puzzle? You've closed the book, I have not closed the book, I love the number 88, so look at 88, which is what I do, we don't have to make a touch Come on, wrap this up on board now, what's it 88, shut up, you 88 This is really putting a bad mood, it's cooking one All of them have put you in a bad fucking mood I can't fucking find shit back in here, you useless fucking spur of godly 88, this is not going to be a satisfying solution to the cooking No, I'm close to fucking trash in this joint Well, the book is cooking with gas, solution A vital negative was omitted, the chief cooke should have said, therefore, if he is not cooking, he is cooking Fuck off! The answer to the puzzle is, the thing we didn't tell you in the first part is important Do you know what I mean?
I just, I can't, he's evil, and he wants children to be unhappy and feel stupid and hurt themselves with fire, do you know what I mean? That's terrible What was that other one we did, alligator, that was a bit more fun, still had some very professional like people like me It's mostly puzzles Beforeations, or inflating your nutsack with a straw, like I'm all in your fucking head Right that's been seventh page turn as well, should we do the little theme? Yeah, do it again. Yeah, do it again.
Duh, do it, do it, do it I'll go out, and I've banned people and it's so nice, erner, but that's nothing car to come out. I don't think it's a move all the time All right, I'll judge people off. All right, then, erm... I'll go out, I'll walk the streets and I'll let people do me Yeah, that's not going to rhyme with page turn now, is it?
You can sell some cards to a nice little earner, thanks for listening to poor place turners, thank you fucking people Good. That works as well. No. Yeah.
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Here's Patreon.com forward slash CheapShow. And now you've got years and years of videos and magazines and podcasts to go back through. Behind the scenes of exclusive videos. Ooh, I just contributed to the next CheapShow magazine.
The next CheapShow magazine is going to be fucking fantastic. It's a little thing. Events on some sterling work. Yeah, I've done a little thing.
It's a new feature. Yeah, yeah. It's replacing one of the old features. So that's right.
I don't know when that's out exactly, but it's soon-ish. We're planning episode 300 for a live show. It will be in London. Probably at the same location that we digitised alive, the Harro-Art Centre.
Oh, yeah. The plan is July. I can't give you any more information than that. But if you want to come see CheapShow live for the first time in properly two years.
And there'll be plenty more tickets than the last time we did at last. We'll be at Big Menu. Double the size of it. If you're a patron, you're going to get discounted nearly access to seats as well.
Oh. That's also a good reason to be a patron person, should you want to. So yeah, July, put in your diaries, CheapShow live in London. We're going to try and make it a great big fucking huge show as fantastic guests.
But as of right now, that's all we've planned. So don't know. That'll be good. My Twitter?
Yes, go through the Twitter. At the CheapShowPod, I'm at Paul Ganon Show, and Eli is. Eli's an audio liar, so no idea. Paul's looking for something.
I just want to get the PO box details. If you don't mind, I'm going to pull those up right now. Pull up those details. I'm going to pull up those details right now.
Because we look at when you send stuff in the PO box, maybe to bespoke Price of Shites and Vinal, a toy, a board game, maybe just want to throw something weird using in a charity shop. In fact, two or four are in a future BIMBAG episodes. In fact, it was just about to say Paul. I don't know, people.
It was quite convincing your whole trash thing. But in fact, all of the stuff in the Black BIMBAG wasn't delivered by an angry man. It was actually all sent in by you guys. So thank you so much.
So if you have anything that you think will be really good for a Black BIMBAG episode, which will freak us out and makes us astound us or just make us question our existence, send it to us. You can go and send to our PO box at CheapShowPO box 1309, Harrow, H819, QJ. But all the information for contacting us will be in a podcast episode in our metadata. If you click on your podcast app and you look for the episode, it's all there.
It's all there, isn't it? Just wanted to say as well, some people feel disappointed because they're stuff isn't used immediately. But what the Black BIMBAG episode demonstrates is we do get to stuff in the end. Anything interesting we get to in the end.
I've got some Noki pellets as well. That's a separate issue. So that's it for CheapShow. Next week we've got a little bit different.
But we've got a theme for next week, except we've got a whole bunch of that. We've been compiling this for a couple of years. So we're looking forward to that. So I tell them that, I'll surprise.
Yeah. Fuck you as well. Well, that's it. Fuck you.
What else? And email us if you want to thecheap you at gmail.com. That's it. That's another week of CheapShow.
Okay. Thank you for supporting us. We'll see you next time. Are they pills with spunk though, Paul?
Well, I'm actually sick of saying spunk. Well, then stop saying it. You're in charge of that. I'm not in charge of my own mouth.
Good. Oh. No, don't do the wank. Just press the button.
I'll press it. Night, night, night. Night, night, night. Good morning.
Good morning.