It's a rainy day, Silverman. It's a lazy day, a lazy day. It's a rainy, razy day. Silverman.
Shut up. Mate, you told me that we'd had to do the housework about the live show at the start and had to be my best behaviour. And then you start some, frankly, being generous, six out of ten. Sort of, I don't know, what was that meant to be?
The Lazy Day Rain Man? Was it a new character? Six from ten, Silverman? Six from ten?
You saw me? How? Thou artist? Thou artist kind?
And Thou artist critical? Oh, Silverman, what Thou art? Alright, I'll do the thing. Ladies and gentlemen, we're doing a live show.
Fuck my willy off. I can't believe it. We're gonna be live in the Harrow Art Centre, just outside of London. On August 13th, we want you.
Yes, you to join us. Why not, Julius? It's gonna be a great big show. With lots of guests.
We've got Stuart Ashen confirmed. We've got Mr Piffle. He's gonna be up for it, because he always is, isn't he? And we're gonna have some other guests.
We're gonna invite him through the next few months. We're gonna try and coax them into the show to therefore coax you to come and watch us. So, do you want to see Cheep Show Live the first time in four years in a great big brassy show? Then come along.
You can find details on the metadata for this podcast, or go to thecheepshow.co.uk Or go to Harrowarts.com. All the links are in the metadata for this podcast. All the links are on our webpage, thecheepshow.co.uk. It's simple, buddy.
And if you're a Patreon, you will get a discount. So you'll get a special code. And that's nice, isn't it? So come on and join us for a live show featuring me and Silverman.
I am the Rainbow Boy, the window, the rain. Oh, what come of the rain the day? August 13th. Join us for our 300 episode.
How's work's gone? Therefore, Silverman. The pitter patter boy, you come up to the window. Come here.
Tippy tippy tippy top. The rainbow boy, the rainbow boy, the stippel little rainbow boy. You know what? You've actually now ruined this for me.
Oh, the rain is... I'm just giving you back what you gave me. The rain is the pitteriest day of the day of the wing of... Okay, we go.
The wing of the wing of the wing of the singer. No, seriously, come to the live show. We've already sold a million tickets. Yes, so therefore, there are a few more available.
It's the largest menu in London. Yeah, it's going to be bigger than Wembley. There's free. You get free food sandwiches.
Like, fuck off. I'll be giving out free alcoholic drinks from a never-ending well of beer. And I'll be giving hand jobs out during the interval. And I'll be taking all comers in the car park, dogs, cats, horses, all comers.
We're waste rules. Fucking abuse us and come to our live show. August 30th, please start again Paul. Welcome to Cheat Show.
Welcome to Cheat Show. I hate you and your fucking noodle posse. Have noodles. It's the fact that Cheat Show you're going to have to learn the fucking accent.
Cheat Show. Cheat Show. It's the face of chite. All gannin and feel like silver.
Welcome to Cheat Show. And a girl and a nuzzle. So Paul, what have we got coming up on the show today? Today, in a very simple, no gimmicks attached episode of Cheat Show that I want to make sure to quick edit this week because I have stuff to do, we have.
Take that off on your bingo card. We want it to be the show at the end. I've got to be sure that you guys shout out. Eli, let me just get out all the information before you say anything.
Eli, why don't you just, you know, rein it in. I'm ticking that off on my fucking Paul, says it every week. Bingo card. One day we should just get the bingo card out and just do everything on it.
Out and get out of the way in the first few minutes. Listen mate. Yeah. Alright, make it quick edit.
Tell me what the fuck's coming up on the show. You've made it a longer fucking edit already. By saying, because I want to make it a quick edit this week. You're going against yourself.
I'm sorry. I have to mention the shirt. I'm sorry, Captain Ramble, man. Captain Ramble, man.
Captain Ramble, man. We're like, hey, you're a bingo card. You're a bingo card. You're a bingo card.
You know what I mean? It's like... Look at your shirt. It's so much like...
You just said two minutes ago. Alright, Paul, let's not attack ourselves and what we wear and how we dress. No, what's a good mirror? No, it's a good mirror.
It's a good mirror. No, you just said... It's delicious. It's a little stiff.
It's a little bowling alley. It's funny. It's very bowling alley-like. But I like it.
I like the brown and the coloured stripes. It's nice. Very big Lebowski tribute act. Fine.
You just said you wouldn't attack me. Okay, without saying anything about me then. I haven't said anything about you. You tumbleweed of a human being.
Tumbleweed of a human being. Yes. That's my putdown for you. And from this rest of this point onwards, I'm going to do nothing but give you plaudits and positive reinforcements.
You're a stinging nettle of a human being. Grubby little stinging nettle. Stinging the kids. Taking the joy out of their Sundays out.
I just wanted to go in the park, mister. But no. I got stunned by the Paul Ganonil. Ooh, and now it's mainly...
Ooh. Dizzy. Well, I just want to say, Eli, that I deeply appreciate your contributions to this podcast. Thank you.
Without them, this podcast will be a much lesser item than it is. Currently, it would be nothing Paul. It would be a barren wasteland. It would be you speaking into the void.
I particularly like your personal hygiene. And I particularly love the way you've arranged your room. Listen, the house of the pickles is the spiritual centre of everything we do here on this show, Paul. It's essences.
It smells. The spooting centre of this podcast is your asshole directly your bonghole. Well, I'm glad you said that. That is right.
The hole is the hole. The spiritual hole is my hole. That's right. Bob Hollness.
The big one said to be like, Bob Hollness. Come on, we shouldn't speak ill of the dead. He wasn't some kind of... Oh, please, Bob.
Transcosmic asshole deity. Yeah, now. Right. You can hear him playing saxophone.
This is good. This is good stuff now. We found it. Bob Hollness.
Bob Hollness. What do we have coming up on this show today, Paul? Cheap Pete, Soda Pop and a price of choice. It's back to basics, very much simple people.
Very much the core segments that you will come across. If you were, just to come across our podcast, after coming across your screen, looking at aunties or something, an aunties website, let's say. You're the step-in, stop this. What the fuck?
You've come across that and then you come across us in the other sense of the word, Paul. In the sense of the word where you just like the other life show, we just like the foot of the state of our audience. Jack off onto us. How about that?
We don't like that. I don't want to do that. If we get the ball to line up, my reason I chose this life. You don't think episode 300 should be celebrated with coping with the heart of the tree?
No. No. No. Funny, know.
I don't want any spanking. So come to our show, the Bacocki Party on August 13th, we will invite you on stage to unleash your arcs of gizap. No. In all seriousness, Paul, will there be any audience participation?
Probably. We won't. A song kind. Come on.
We don't want to actually encourage any kind of spunking, or, or, or, frotage. No. Good. Nor do we want any of your dreams.
I don't want anyone in the audience to emit any kind of liquid. And sell it from the advisory office. Gazius. Gazius.
Gazius, what does that mean? Oh gaseous. Gaseous mate. You think I'm like Gabe?
Like it's the word, Gapius. I am Gapius Maximus. Stop it. Hey, soldier, come here.
I'm Gapius Maximus. Hello, sir. How can I help you? Why would a soldier say that hello, sir?
Like fucking idiot. You fucking woman. Hello, sir. You're going to be a Roman soldier.
Yes, Emperor. Thank you. You're treating Gapius with the honor that he deserves. Gapius Maximus is the finest fighter in the whole of us.
It's Empire, sir. I'd say honor to die in battle with you. Emperor. Emperor, sir.
Even all. I see, I see, I see. Well, I'm Gapius Maximus. Shut up.
Right. Do you know why I'm still the leader of the Empire's greatest soldier, Legion? Private, whatever they call it. Because you cast more blood upon the earth, sir, than anyone else in this battle, then?
Almost. No, it is when they seek the strike, move their sword, or mallet, my gaping hole. Here we go. Well, swallow those more.
It does. It's mainly, it's, it's, it gapes so wide. It's mainly air. I'm mainly consistent.
The gap. You're full. I'm a gap in an arse. So you're full of sauce.
Is that what you're saying? They come, they tumble down. Come on, come on. They miss me.
Gapius Maximus. Six minutes and 30 seconds. Let's take some fucking shit. You know what?
I'm trying to delay this on purpose today, Paul, because the cheap eats are not, are not tingling my wing ball. You know what I'm saying? Well, you're going to find out what the next segment is so good. I'm already in America.
Right. I haven't had any of these. This is going to be a mess as well. This is new for me.
And someone sent them to us. So act with a little bit more respect to people who use our P.O. box, details of which, with a matter of date for this podcast, and our website, the TUJU.co UK. Nice.
Thank you. So, to send stuff to us, maybe show a little bit more difference. Defference. Defference.
Different deference to them. So we do the theme chain for GPs. No, because this is the cold. This is not the cold open.
This is the hello open for the show segments. It's shorter. I love it when you micro edit. Yeah.
On the fly like this, Paul. I love your profile. On the fly. You've zipped.
And zip the fly. And then what comes out? Bob Olders. Imagine that.
Yeah. That would be a nightmare. Bob Olders, give me a P. He'd be saying.
And he'd say with this. I love it. I love it. I love it.
Sorry. I love it. It happens every time I get my cock out. Oh, wow.
Imagine the blockbuster theme chain played every time you got your cock out. I call it Bob Metis. Now, Metis Holders. I am Metis Holders.
And I will take you to battle KP's Maximus. Oh, it's great. Well, let's start this show. Let's start this show.
It's all. It's all. It's all. It's all.
It's all. It's all. It's all. It's all.
It's all. It's all. It's all. It's all.
I'm arelease. Well, Chirp is speaking of cheap chirping? Chirp uhs. talking of chirps.
Chirps. talking of chirps. I've got baby pigeons on my balcony in the house of people. You're getting a bump out of that.
They were baby pigeons and they make chirpy chirp or Curt Injury iscop. Chirp. Chirp think's something. Yeah, so they make the sound of a set of I lollibobs.
they". Look at that the whole nest is just one thick piece of pigeon shit, man. What fits in with your room? So?
You can't protect them by just saying you protect them by not killing them. You see what I'm saying? It gives you a weird powers kind of thing over it. It's weird.
Well, I'm enjoying being near the life of creation of pigeon's life. Welcome to G-Beads. This comes to the letter. Well, we're eating.
This comes from two people. James and Pearl. Where are they from? Is it sorry?
I think they're from America. Oh! James and... What was that song called?
It was given a name. Was it called, like, Asteroid or something? That piece of music? A piece of library music.
No, it was made for the Pearl indeed. But it's got a name like Asteroid or Comet or something like that. No, fuck it. Proxitants come with the letter.
So, I'll tell you what, why you look that up. I'll read this out. So, this says, messes, Ganon and Silverman. I like that.
I like that. Yeah, but where does that come from? Messes. I know that it's a word that exists.
I think it just means man and wife, doesn't it? Does it? I think it means... Yeah, instead of saying, Mr.
I do not know. But I've never thought about it until this very moment. Yes, I think it means sort of you as the couple. Mr and Mrs.
I think it's a sort of conflation of the two. Yeah, it's... I don't... I could be wrong, but I'm looking up.
What am I looking up? I forgot, mate. Messes is more... What was I going to look up?
What? Pernantine music scores. Yeah, Pernantine music. You look that up by with the letter.
So, it says messes, Ganon and Silverman. I hope this letter and package finds you both well. I was inspired by the recent escalation of Russia's illegal law of aggression to send Ukraine's most popular snack. Oh!
Time dates to the episode to a certain period. Before the apocalypse. They are sunflower seeds or, and it's spelt in Polish, but there is a phonetic spelling he's put in. So, thank you very much.
Nacinja, Sonia Snyakur, which are also popular in the United States, especially among baseball players who chew on the seeds instead of tobacco. And he's got annotations in tobacco, his claims. That's a nice... What do you mean annotation?
Like he says, you know, Ukraine is only... No, Ukraine's most popular snack. One, then you've got... And it's got a saucer.
It is the... Yes, so... I like his commitments to back it up his state... journalistic integrity that his letter has.
It's a new thing for us, for sure. So, you will find in close also one bottle of Mountain Dew. And we'll look at this, and it is Jinja Bread's Snapped Edition. The colour of this beverage is reminiscent of Spoth, however, and I think you'll find the flavour of viscosity, amplitude and mouthfeel, somewhat palatable.
Palatable. Yeah, it's a... It's a... God, James and Pearl.
Thank you, James and Pearl. And you've got to say, you're born in a convenience store in Midland, Texas. Each pack of sunflowers were about $3 expensive. And the Mountain Dew was two.
Asteroid. Oh, so I was right. Yeah, did you say Asteroid? Asteroid or Comet did something like that.
And in the 90s, it was mixed with a whole lot of love, wasn't it? By Led Zeppelin released in the charts. Remember that? You mean there was a mashup of sorts?
Of Asteroid and a whole lot of love. Yeah, that worked, wouldn't it? Yeah, it was a reasonably big hit in the 90s, that song. As a mashup, it was a band.
They did a version together. A mashup of two together. It was a cut up. Right.
Two-way cover, two-way cover, two-way mashup. He did all the rock and roll versions of... No, we haven't called him on the show. We've just talked about it privately.
Daddy. Yeah, I don't think we've talked about Big Daddy on the show. We talked about it in our private moments. Anyway, let's re-tay some of these seeds.
So we have three packet of bigs with your sesame seeds, and they have three distinct flavours. What are they? Are they sesame seeds? No.
Are they? No, this sesame seeds. They're not... Oh, they're poor.
Oh, they were. Sunflower. Oh. Totally different plant.
Very different. Sesame seeds are what you get on a burger bar. Yeah. They're tiny little things.
My brain. Like could be stuck there for three days. Have you ever tried them on burgers? I'll be honest with you.
I don't like them. You don't like them? You don't like them? I don't like sesame seeds in general.
They don't like the taste. Do you like the taste of sesame oil? No, I quite like them. It's nice when you use it for like a stir-fry.
That's about it. Now, these are both all three packs of bigs, which are... Soundflower seeds, edible sunflower seeds. So to speak so they've got a five for us and you can't yeah, you have to break them open But that's why the baseball players like pernandane of sorry Martin and Dean one like James and Pearl James Proving you never listen I did James and Pearl have said that the baseball players use them They chew the shell spit the shell out and then absorb the seed I've been on buses around here because I think people from Turkey in that part of the world are well into them as well Oh, you're buses round here and it's been like whole man.
I'm a medium man with a waiting for a boss It's just like the shells on the ground. Yeah, yeah, so question. It's not the seed itself then that's flavor It's the shell that you suck and chew they must yeah, they must bathe the whole thing in the flavor bath I don't like the idea of the texture of having something you can't eat in the way of the small thing you can eat So people what they've done in America, which they do a lot with stuff is they've managed to just have roasted some flour seeds But this big people have entered into flavor country They're branded as well. They're based on brands on they want to say they've entered into obviously Partnership with all these massive plants brands.
So no plans are probably correct. I'm trying to I was going with you. They are probably quite bland flavors. No, so you've got flassic kosher dill spears one dill pickle We don't want to flass it they'll pickle do you those are like a very big pickle America?
Yeah, they're not the best quality. They're just sort of the standard ones. Yeah, you've got the Taco Bell Taco Supreme Flavored San Sometimes everything about that Poop of it reeks of a terrible time on your toilet the next day. Yes, but it's just the flavor So probably won't give you the shit to the way sometimes a real table always give a week to shit That's why you don't go anymore.
I see all the U.K. Taco Bells. You go in there And it's like I want some tacos and they're like a meal you know I don't eat a taco with fries and you know, they're me. I just want tacos You can't even do it because they so clueless and I had to sell you just a bunch of tacos.
Taco Bells are not working in the UK You don't know it really works in America frankly. No, I mean I I like some some proper shit sometimes and I've been in America And you can get ten taco box. Yeah, but that's not good Now the third by the way the third packet of big sunflower seeds that we're tasting are chili lemon It's got a branded chili hot sauce company to pateo which I think we did years ago. It's a big Mexican sounds familiar All right, I tell you what then you know what I've got some tapatio socks.
That's another fact It is a fact and I can't do anything with it. So we get a half on which what order you do want to do this you pick I Jilly lemon start to start then really a little bit cool and then we'll end with Taco Bell So these you're not gonna do one go because they've got that clever built-in sealer Yeah, so you tear it and to begin with yeah, so I get in and then they've got a little zip lock thing Yeah, there's a very little smell of chili all in on coming off those so I think you have to activate it I'm gonna do a little bit of jostle. Give it a jostle. It's not it's not much half at all.
Oh, no is a tiny bit of lime Yeah, it's not some lime. So I just take a few and suck them I guess yeah Handful just suck them more I mean I kind of did not do this it work do with it you split them I've crunched them so that little fragment with bits of my mouth now You're just bit you I'll get a bit of fun. I guess I just munched on them Okay, we've had those those within a chilli lemon tapatio flag it's a really I don't know it's a really unsatisfying snack Yes, personally speak it's more of a mouth toy. Do you see what I mean?
It's like you get the flavor and you can sort of that's why the baseball players show them it's more like a toothpick or something You know it's in between a toothpick and a piece of food. I think I've got my top of a load I think you just want a time. Do you like pistachian? Yeah, see those for the me had the total balance between work and receiving and it's like eating muscles because Not is worth it's a success enough, but the ratio of shell to seed with these just you don't get enough once you get in there It's such a tiny reward.
You know what I mean? Yeah, Fox. I'm all used to like eating them in the air It's more of a sort of work mouth work. What did you think of the chili lemon flavor?
It was a little bit hotter than I expected. It wasn't too artificial then the limey flavor wasn't too artificial It's a little more which is lime in in a It's fine. I think in terms of flavor profile. I would give it like a two because it's there and then it's not it wasn't a great deal going on There's some heat and there was some lemon.
I mean what else can you ask for? Not a lot of flavor to the hot sauce. So we try these pickle ones. Yes, let's put the pickle I'm just gonna put one in this time proper.
Look at an attempt to okay, so there's less to this less to try to oh Oh, he's got a nice off on that then I take it. That's a lovely deal half on that Oh, nothing more to say. Let me have a little snuffled. Just try to do half coming off.
Gacy is half Yeah, you know a nice it's a definite pulled from the burger sensation of the Burger burger pickle smell coming off. I'm just gonna take two and I'm gonna sort of get this time and then eat it break it So here we go. I mean the flavors would better on this. I know but it's just that problem There's not enough reward.
No, no, it's not too artificial again. Is it no the flake? Oh, you spilt your pickle seeds Jesus Christ hang on. I'm just gonna stand up and get the rest of this It's like how he would in your mouth in the end of the day.
I've had wood in my mouth. It's not like that note This fucking taste of pickle put it in my head didn't I Want you to take more like the fucking taco bell one That's Paul's prediction the Taco Bell's gonna taste like unwashed penis ends Yeah, certainly on love to be honest, okay, he's cleaned up his seeds and we're back Paul If you gave a two for the flavor of the first for the I'll I probably say 3.5. Yes. Well nice pickle flavor I mean, I'm not a huge pickle flavor fan sit not afraid that pickle artificial pickle flavor fan and that wasn't overwhelmingly artificial It's just nice very dilly dilly dilly dilly dilly dilly.
That's one taco bell taco supreme flavored Nothing to supreme about taco bell. Let's have a half on this see what kind of half do you expect a beefy half? I expect some kind of chill spicy meat meat meaty off. Oh god.
That's the most artificial one There's a sort of beef, but it ends in a sort of cardboardy sort cleaning product I'm not right. Let's have a go. You'll see what I mean. So you can articulate that better There's a sort of beefy as at the beginning and but then it sort of it smells like I've just put my head down a toilet Yeah, you know after someone's left a great big hot egg in it You know it's like no smell and then a bit of a smell.
Yeah, yeah, not great now No, it doesn't have the profile of the pickle now. You've been you've been dreading this moment. Well, here we go On these tacos supreme flavored seeds very salty easily the salt is not it just tastes like an el paso taco kit seasoning mix Yes, you know, yeah a cheap taco season little fajita seasoning mix that's what it is I mean they go and you'll see this for it There is flavor there you suck it and the flavors there for a considerable amount of time considering the size of the item But you're right end of the day. It's a it's a paltry meal.
Yeah, it's a tiny meal Mm before that work of sucking the seed and having a woody seed in your mouth Yeah, and then you open it you finally broken into the clam You know me and you open the fucking magic clam at the bottom of the ocean and there's a fucking tiny little pellet like gray Please shut up. It's time to drink by the way. Yeah, you didn't tell juicy domain about this I'm not telling juicy Jerry anything at the moment because he's on the fucking rails Oh, I think he is out there in the lobby. Don't bring it up because he shouldn't be here I think he's already he's going through a whole thing at the moment with a willy wanker There's a kind of there's a friction going on and it's it's getting to them both.
I don't want it to infect the show, you know So just that's just out there. Yeah, but he's here already Paul We should take any of these drinks and the next day have these weird stomach cramps he asked me to tell him when we're doing the segment We don't have to tell him why I'm gonna go get him. Don't get it. I'm gonna get juicy joke.
All right be quick Okay, I think Paul and then you know what just tell you it's not his soda this week Yeah We're bringing you in for a reason to like oh you got me in to give me some showy and talk about a soda pop Oh Fucking and mostly training prick. Oh, you know he lies. It's your flittle friend Paul little boy Paul Is he okay? I don't know he's he's quite tired.
He's been working working this weekend. Oh, well. Hope he enjoys a sordie pop I'm here to taste the sordie pop with you boys. I got my child up.
Oh, oh Walked outside. I'll write outside the podcast how things are there will you wanker going? Well, he's in the back of the car with a chicken. Let me go get him.
Oh, I wish you wouldn't cuz his I gotta go get him Oh Make up with it come on commit to the bit Paul come on Say to my face. Oh, we think you and do you share me the Now In my candy factory now we all know why you've been eating fucking sacks now So cold factory I know I want you out of my factory My family is on that property that land since 1876 there's been wankers in charge of that land for us as we can remember Oh, you're a wanker every generation who's all that fucking bill. So you fucking tell me that you don't know You've been taking that money from the hand of a wanker now. Let me remind you you came here today my jalopy now I'm gonna take those chickens to a rescue a rescue point.
They don't even rescue it. They do live they'll be putting down I'm with them. They'll sourcing bitches fucking little destroyed some fucking chicken rectum. That's true.
I'm going Oh, you're going on it. You just give it up like that. I'm here after all the fuck you said I'm not If he's gonna be around here, I'm not gonna bring my sordie pops in here but Paul You know what I'm gonna say right now, right? I'm sorry about this But I once made a fucking dog coming your sordie pop fountain I thought there was an extra thickness one day to the sordie puffs.
Okay, I'm gonna think is that's right I'm not that dog dry with my own mouth. That must be my my new snow. I'm gonna go. I think we should both go.
Yeah They're all right, they'll make it up in the end right drink Fuckin tell them anyway, we've got this Mountain Dew ginger snap drink. It's the joy of Mountain Dew mixed with the joy of cinnamon And ginger I don't think I think a cinnamon drink can be alright. We've tasted that you know that Korean that small Korean can which is The problem is Mountain Dew has got such a kind of flavour profile that I find instantly repulsive It's like artificial fruit flavour. I don't know.
You know what? I honestly don't know what the fucking hell mountain Jews like thinking other than the color green that juicy fruit is jackfruit flavour Don't know I think that's a magic behind that we're just spouting facts and we can't back him up So anyway, I'm gonna open this up now on the label. There's a couple of edgy looking gingerbread man Not just normal gingerbread man, but proper edgy for clothes Special edition for Christmas or something like that. Well, why else would you release it?
It sounds like gingerbread man Christmas See they are they're they are you always get gingerbread houses at Christmas to build and shit like that So I quite like the artwork who manufactures Mount Joe is it Pepsi co or coke or I think it's bad. Oh, I don't know I'm gone. Let's have a look Pepsi co. Pepsi co, right?
Yeah. Well, I do not caffeine content as well Yeah, that's it. No, that's how it has modeled itself in recent years as an energy drink Mmm. There's a meeting with a red ball and a great raid.
Yes, so it's because it's got very high caffeine content Let's open it up again straight in and who does right and who does seven up sprite? I think is coke seven up is Pepsi co I mean, yeah, because they both are caffeine free and I'm right thinking that also it takes like shit now that even the whole Shug attack thing in the UK. Yeah, it's all zero this and well We I like a sort of a slightly more expensive and I was not for the show, but I know a more sort of bespoke I don't buy a lot of coke these days, but if I have to I'll probably spend a little bit more and get that gusto Yeah, whatever it is. It's a label.
It's not very well everywhere. Well, you get Fentiman's, wouldn't you? Oh, yeah, you get that Fentiman's cherry color. That's all right.
Yeah, anyway, but it is better than the color Well, probably slightly better for you. Yeah, so it's due with a blast of artificial gingerbread flavor. I'm gonna crack it open What's a half coming off there? Oh, it smells like some kind of mouthwash.
Really? Yeah, you know what you go to the dentist and you have a particular type of mouthwash Here is a glass for you. Hoofit, baby. Mm-hmm.
Very mouthwashy. Very sort of urithamol toothpaste. Yeah, I think that's what you get in the red You know you think of red toothpaste? I don't know if anyone knows about it's called urithamol.
Yeah, it's got that kind of feel going on, definitely Medicinal mouthwashy toothpaste almost like not almost like what's that bitter? You know the roso, martini roso type of thing more like a bitter a bitter liqueur kind of like that in it Yes, it's almost a herby sort of winter green. Yeah, oh my god. Yeah, that kind of yes That can hit all the profiles sort of yagamised almost herby like that.
Yeah, yes I know what you're talking about. Do you know what I don't actually find it that unpleasant that smell? No, no I don't know you want to hate this because you hate Mountain Dew I don't want to hate anything on this show But sometimes you know the reputation proceeds them but normal mountain Jew is gonna be totally different from this You know they lose their experimenting. Yeah, and what we need to do I know juicy Jeremy didn't mention it but we needed to try that new coke outer space stuff into galactic coke I'm not funny yet.
Anyway, if you do see any you want to send I'm getting cookie smell more on the half now from this if you want to send any of the cheap show the P.o box on our website address Go for that. I'm getting much more of a cookie half now. I'm getting a bready cookie half coming through I was the British black exploitation carry that never pick up shut up. That's terrible.
It's not fuck off Here we go down the hatch mmm very unpleasant really just sort of no bite The cinnamon doesn't have a lot of any heat to it. You know what I mean? So it just sort of stops dead stops dead in your mouth that flavor and it's got like almost a watery end Yeah, I said watery death the cinnamon it tries to be there and I say this I don't find it unpleasant But it you're right the flavor is there then it's not but it leaves the ginger bready burn afterwards a little bit You know what it's it's a strange Frankenstein flavor between a sort of limey citrusy tag I love the name basically and then the bready sort of herby cinnamon It almost seems to be not go well together. You know it is it takes more like someone's put gingerbread into Pepsi Yeah, in fact that to me is what it tastes like It's not too bad.
It's not too bad. I don't think I could finish a whole bottle of that No, it's it's not too bad. I would be generous and maybe that's a three out of five I'll go two point seven five, but it does yeah It does taste like mountain jay with gingerbread in it weird. No cuz mountain jay's got that weird super artificial kind of I'd even know I think that's front of this there's a mountain Joey flavor that's what I'm talking about that limey that's artificial citrusy For me it's more cola if it was more cola like when I'm cola with the gingerbread that I see Yeah, what's specifically Pepsi Cola that very syrupy.
Yeah, yeah, it's definitely got that Pepsi Hammerman texture. Yes, it's still awful And I'd rather try and finish the bottle off and finish those seeds off now Paul Yeah, there's a very important aspect of the show. Yeah, that has been a thread going throughout the years And some people would say it is the pinnacle of what we do is go get it because we already are half an hour And I want to speed this up now you will not denigrate the sauce or just cut it I'm gonna take the sauce report. I'm gonna do the source report now I don't have to go get it the sauce is here.
All right And the spoons are here because again, I'm hard. It is the most professionally successful aspect of the show ever to have existed The source report is timeless the source reports fans above all speech He's doing a hand plant everyone right. I have the sauce wounds in my hand one for you and one for me now I saw this in the shop. I'm losing my temper we've done lots of sources on the show before Paul on the source report Someone says recently went the little episode cheap show and they think I've grown more grumpy And I've become less tolerant of your shit and you know what they're not fucking wrong right source report everyone This is the magical sacred protected segment of the show where I ely silverman source expert of the universe discuss taste and produce the source Perry Perry went done.
Perry Perry before. Perry is his whole class of hot sauce And I was only first aware of Perry Perry as a source type Paul when Nando's first arrived on our shores What about you? Did you know about Perry Perry before that? Please contribute to the source report He's contributing editor Paul Gannon everyone with his views on Perry Perry He's not he's refusing to talk right.
I'll just have to look it up on the old googles This will be a fun bit for you to edit. Yeah, see it just cost you work. It cost you work Perry Perry with a source but it's a some kind of source mix. Oh God, I was a restaurant called Perry Perry.
Oh, we go. What is Perry Perry? It simply means pepper sauce so Paul It's all it means it's just hot sauce. It's called hot sauce in other parts.
Don't give me this phone back He wants me to produce sauce for him Alright, Paul. I'll give you a spoon of this sauce. Yeah, and then what I'm you're gonna need to talk and say what it is how it feels for you on Your mouth and stuff. Oh, it's got a very saucy half on it.
It's not coming out That is not it's not talking. It's taking the sauce. It's just taking the sauce Well, I'll tell you it's got a nice very nice peppery almost to my story. Oh, do this very sort of a deep a smokey deep pepperiness Nice, mmm.
Oh, it's really salty. Oh, that's lovely really salty salty than I imagined and that deep dry dry Pepperiness and that is the start I think when the peri peri it's lovely dry heat coming through and a lovely salty more than Vinegary although there is a vinegar thing there pointing out his clock Do do do do do do do do do peri peri gets a strong 4.5 for me and lovely lovely lovely that big lovely sauce Thanks for listening to the source of all you can't you should have fucking said something about a sauce mate Why are you talking about a sauce? You're like a child right? Well, thank you for listening to cheap show and we're gonna move on to One next segment of the show now everyone likes to play it's the price of shot so join us after the sound effect fucking asshole Very peri sauce came from Portugal and it uses bird's eye.
Hello. Welcome back to cheap show It's time for the price of shite with its theme tune. I was gonna do for us now Eli Please take it away with the price of shite theme shoe. Oh, peri peri came for Portugal peri peri from Portugal and that's right if you value your job Strongly suggest that you do is your told or I report you to HR.
Okay, and you know that pulls a fucking condon HR I don't want to see him again He's got terrible odor, you know, and you don't want to be mean to people about it But it's just it's a smell of fucking garbage coming out of every like just his mouth everything He's got an illness that means he can't control his body scent and sometimes because of his fat content It comes out in a kind of burnt tire garbage smell sweat right so that's another thing I'm gonna mark you down now for taking the Mickey out some of the nail mints So keep on going you're gonna send to fuck you Do you want to go over us again? I'll do the fucking song all right. Well, do you want to go see Paul and HR? I don't want to go see it.
I will send you to Paul and HR. I really don't want to go see me, right? Hey, it's fucking miles up anyway. Yeah, it's like a bloody tower out there I shouldn't call it the HR office.
I call it the fucking the HR lighthouse the infinite lighthouse on the 13th floor We're all the admin is for teaching on the 13th. It is I prefer hanging outside the underneath the podcast some fine wines down there It's all the dirty dirty characters hang out there isn't it in the car park under the building. Yeah, please playing jacks Yeah, yeah, I know it's called jacks off. Yeah, good point X does it hello point decks that now we've agreed with seeing other people so Relationship yes point X to will put on you is purely consensual.
So would you mind if I you Will never touch point it's a point. That's not you just said I go see point X I control all of point X just coming and going well That's not really an open relationship Then is anyone else apart from your own mind? So it's just me I want you because you think I'll show them a good time and it went off of me because you realize I'll love him and treat him right I'm not just fucking where is fair out on my coin rivets I'm gonna put him in my pants right now if you're gonna be really calm because he needs to do the theme Oh God don't put point X doing your cock pads you are through it No, I felt well all your talk of going out with point X does maybe feel insecure But after maybe ignite for the restructure our relationship He's gonna live down there for the next two weeks like gagging him with your cock mount in your trouser departments He's faced down in the cock mount face down in the cock mount and he's you know He's down in the mouth look he can know stick his head right under the coach and shout along to Bob Holness at the back there It's illuminated because the holiness of holness is all it's a fucking practice of Oh, I want to do that. Oh, no, you've got on for that.
You're now in point X the land. So whatever you don't want me Dexter land he's very much in Eli Silverman land Gooch land now mound yeah, now dland swam plant is Eli's swam plant It's the fucking price of shine it's the fucking price of shine. It's the fucking price of shine. It's the fucking price of shine It was the fucking price of shine and that's right.
It's right. This comes from Ash. Thank you Ash Eli and Paul I've been listening to your podcast for a while now having discovered it joint lockdown and deciding to binge every episode Oh, I show ash. We've not done that now.
We refuse to on principle. What's the principle? We refuse to never look back never look back Never look back always look forward. I would repeat what we do in a weekly basis now I am up to date.
I thought I would send this to you as a thank you for all the hours I'm saying that you have given me. Thank you I'm a nice guy for you details below and I also enclosed a gift for each of you that may appeal to your tastes once again Thank you all that you do I look forward to listening to for many years to come lovely. Thank you Ash Yes, we got two gifts from him. You've got a album a vinyl album which is a recording of all of the moon landing stuff Yeah, which is a bit if you're really fucking wrecked stone and say the lights out and just listen to that I bet that'd be quite a nice experience.
Yeah, I quite like the sound of that yeah, it's nice record I like that stuff. Yeah, they're talking about going to the moon. We're down in a room. I like that.
I like I like found footage audio I hope that was hard of all, you know, there's a whole couple other more pull There's people who collect and and swap planets those messages on trains, but you know the person when you're on a train journey There's a guy that's land there's sandwiches. Oh, yeah, we'll be doing this those those messages What do you mean? Where do they get people like you get them because there's all trains used to have tapes and like they'd be taped by people It's like a thing. It's like a thing.
They're quite hard to come by obviously because they're not recorded They're quite desirable in a certain circles Jimmy biscuits go to the moon it's an unknown fact that him in fucking Tony Harris or something went to the fucking moon exactly now Point X is warmed up now. He didn't like what you were saying. Okay, he's only anything is to feel his role today It's nice to have a role. Let's not forget the protector of the betweens and what are between sport No, I have to put between to the thing between to the points in his game tonight I have to put a piss-stained teddy bear on our answers because as he goes has sense and envelope with the pranza Wait before we go any further you got an album.
I got what did you get? I haven't seen your gift to cassette. Oh by rainbow stories who real ghost posters cold cash and hot water and adventures in slime and space Both real Ghostbusters tapes and we're without been sold sold with a sort of picture book usually they come with a picture book But these are without oh cold cash and hot water is from a season two episode episode 39 So Peter father Charles is working in Alaska on earth and in which statue which holds a powerful demon called hob and our Garak hold hobos called the first demon that's what cold cash and hot water Problematic and it looks a bit slightly it looks a bit like a kind of a HP Lovecraftian Yeah, yeah, actually slime is basically that what that fucks me off Slime goes through a machine and then becomes millions of little slimmers Then the other one that one become one big very slimer centric episode isn't it? The number of episodes of the real ghost was I start with slime are doing something he shouldn't and releasing something Well, it's a big yeah, he's a big character and he was much bigger character than in any of the films Wasn't he wasn't even really a character in the film anyway?
Here the price of tight answers and here's my next point extra is nice and warm yes re-ignited a deep and truly Beautiful thing between me and him and there he sits yeah guarding the patewings and those are the points that we We strive for we strive for a between on this game So all items were purchased from a Nottingham charity shop the total price of all Five items ceiling item is four pound 70 for 70 is the total price. That's not a ceiling that is the actual full price Oh, yeah, I guess it will be which we shouldn't think about because then we don't try and add up I know you think about it. I just kind of goes my god. It goes over on there It's this see now you'll know that you're wrong somewhere that you wouldn't have got full between unless it all adds up to 470 Let's find out how we try and add up all my answers to 470 poor so the first one is a big one We'll get out the way big luck.
We're not gonna play and it's big, but bloody hell. They got me a board game It's the mummy animated TV series board games search for the annual work. Fuck Where is look it's it's an interesting board game because it's like basically animated series which you've never heard about yet Box there's a box there. Yes, there's a box there You know what fuck this I forgot to bring it I forgot to bring it.
I'm sorry Bring it so what to bring it no I forgot to bring it fuck you Don't pour salt on this one. I was going for it. You should just play along when I said it there's a box Yeah, no, that's good make me go. All right, let him up You couldn't act at all good you say it was an interesting box.
It looks like this what these characters I actually showed me one quick flash on your phone and then I show you the picture the box Right, it's a terrible game as well as looking shit And it's definitely interesting. I think it's honestly just someone's idea for a board game that they slap the mummy license on top of It's basically they could be they could be other games of different skins because I mean other versions of the same game with different skins Yeah, because the game is basically like a kind of hide-and-seek game Right, so the idea is you got six characters They all have different cards and you've got to answer the clues to move up the board to get to the center And the center wins this and you loads of internal life I do not recall the animated show that this is based on so it's made it's based at the second film And the idea is like their kid that's grown up a little bit gets an amulet stuck to his wrist by accident And that gives him powers, but then it means the mummies after him and so it's like That was the last time Universal was successful with any of their monsters, wasn't it? Long story short, yeah, yeah, because when that film came out the mummy Evan was like what have you done to this classic horror film? I was like, oh, you've made it fun like an Elodom film, and it stands up and turns around And I think it still kind of works as a kind of nice PG horror with nice load of the Elodom Joesy stuff Yeah, adventure horror, but it's not pure horror by any means, you know, compared to the Tom Cruise one Yeah, did you see the top cruise?
Yeah, yeah, it took a while for me to get through it Could I say that you're a fan of the original Universal monsters? I, yeah, some of them are better than others, you know I don't particularly care for Dracula, but I like Frankenstein and Ride Frankenstein I like the Wolfman Wolfman's alright and if this one man came a few for years later after all that But he's still been sitting in the sea and so is the creature from the Black Nogone Yeah, even though the like the creep from the Black Nogone was like one of the last proper And I think there are other sort of second tier ones. Yeah, there's like things like the Black Cat with Boris Karl on Yeah, speaking of that license, but don't really count. I see But anyway, the more they turn into an animated series and this is for merchandise and again The car clues that you get a unique to each character and as you turn them over it's like Here is a room that you won't forget you'll go in there to get wet Watch the room and you go in the bathroom and then you win the card I think they why did they choose the mummy to start with the relaunch?
Because the mummy surely sort of culturally speaking is a bit You mean problematic now because of the whole Egyptology in the way basically that is linked with colonialism and our Steve and how we stole all of that and it's all sort of linked with that So why would it be the first one you think of to relaunch the whole thing When you just say let's not do the In the 90s, no, no, do you mean in the 90s or do you mean recently with Tom Cruise? Because they wanted to do the whole thing. Missed me. Missed me.
It makes more sense to the mummy because right they want to do a dark universe like Marvel but with all their monsters Right, so why not begin with a type of all of you been successful? I see so they'll take the bread and phrase you want to go back work We'll just make it modern edge. Yeah, and we'll start tying in this whole cool thing where it's what they're collecting monsters I guess yeah, I can see that and you can see it sort of like would be the oldest of the monsters Foundation speaking speaking they had done Dracula before the mummy because originally there's a film called Dracula Unborn Oh, yeah, it came out like you before the mummy. Yeah, I Budget Anyway, it's the boy this is the boy game.
I have to think of a price for this like imaginary No, it's you've seen the picture. It's nice big. I don't know that you've really seen this you could be just you could just be making this shit up How do I know where the prices can I open it? Yes point X day?
Yeah, he's my feet head. Yeah, so you're we we smelling snout. What kind of gets the place this game made I don't know I need to hold things in my hand to feel the girth the weight late 90s late 90s board game And it's the boy charity. Yeah, and everything's cardboard.
There's no one we talking about It's complete is it yeah, okay? It's just one of those ball games everything's cardboard even the play pieces. Yeah, it's cheap. Yeah, it wouldn't have been a 470 So how many items do we have five Wow that is cheap isn't it?
Yeah, I go first this time there. Yes. Go on Five items that all under a quid. Yes, it's the biggest item.
Yeah, considerably. It's the biggest cause of ball game I'm gonna say a quid then all right, and I say quit you said where you want I'll say a quid we can change these answers after yeah You guess first on the next item. Yes, I'm gonna go and say that it is I go more 150 now should we remind everyone of how the points are appointed? Do we know what system hash is using is using the classic classic on those two swings 25 p out either way the final prize one Between so you've decided to go more than 25 p either way might guess at a quid.
I just think it's a bit more expensive That's it well, you know throwing away an easy between there. I'm right. Yeah, but I say four pounds something for the lot So what did you say 150? Okay, I think I think it's more I think you should say 125 I think strategically you're not playing a game to the best of you either way either way I still think it's more than a quid okay, so you said 155 all right?
I might be wrong great. All right next item All right, can I get to hold this in me and oh it's a physical thing. I remember the brain. Oh, this is nice I think you catch face the ball.
It's a physical thing and you remember the bring yeah This is chillers for Christmas. It's a collection of ghost stories hard about Christmas hardback book edited by Richard Dolby It's got a nice. I've just borrowed this from the local library. Really had cheap cheap.
Oh pictures All these items will be on the website at the cheat code. Okay, so a little bit from the insider Yeah, go on them at Christmas time said the stranger in the chimney corner folks seem to think themselves privileged to ask other folks to tell them stories Arm yourself with the seasonally gripping stories contained in show for Christmas and you'll never be at a loss when gathered round the flickering Half on a Christmas Eve someone suggests the traditional Christmas tale. That's bullshit You don't tell ghost stories at Christmas You do it's kind of the thing most of the things I think of Emma James and Christmas Carol think about the most famous Christmas story of all is a ghost story I guess yeah, so it kind of makes sense. It's maybe a British thing more than anything else This was published by Michael Omar a books and in the inner sleeve jacket on the jacket Yeah, what's that called that?