Ep 283 Peacewarts: Resonant Charms 101 - The Doorway Sentence (Class 2)

Ep 283 Peacewarts: Resonant Charms - The Doorway Sentence (Class 2) In class 2, Avis Kalfsbeek explores the concept of the doorway sentence as a tool for lowering defensiveness and inviting participation. We examine the difference between a harsh start-up and a soft start-up, drawing on the family therapy work of Virginia Satir and John Gottman. By looking at Māori hui protocols and the labor organizing of Dolores Huerta, we discuss how honor-preserving openings and curiosity-based language can turn a deadlock into a dialogue. Homework: Look up the term soft start-up as defined by psychologist John Gottman and find one example of how a harsh start-up affects the likelihood of a conflict being resolved. Write down one question about any of this episode’s topics. If you don’t have a question, write no question. Optional: Identify a difficult conversation you need to have. Write down the first sentence you were planning to say, and then rewrite it as a doorway sentence using a curiosity or choice frame. Notice how the second version feels in your own body when you say it out loud. Books: If you'd like to read more on this subject, some book suggestions are The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman and Nan Silver, which anchors the foundational psychology of using a soft start-up instead of a harsh start-up to invite participation rather than cornering someone, and Changing the Conversation: The 17 Principles of Conflict Resolution by Dana Caspersen, a highly practical guide focused on shifting away from destructive attack-and-defend postures toward open, curiosity-driven dialogue. Learning Topics: Doorway sentences and levitation phrasing; Soft start-up vs. harsh start-up in communication; Māori hui protocols and lineage greetings; Polyvagal theory and social safety cues; Dolores Huerta and invitation-based organizing. Get the Books:AvisKalfsbeek.com Podcast Music: Javier Peke Rodriguez “I am late, madame Curie” Bandcamp: https://javierpekerodriguez.bandcamp.com/ Spotify:  https://open.spotify.com/artist/3QuyqfXEKzrpUl6b12I3KW