What have I got for you? Well, why did you try and guess? What's in store on the show? Will I be making a mess?
It's not so bad. He like got the shit. See, fuck off his face. I'm not that good.
You look it. I've had. What's the matter to you? Why are you looking so sad?
It's not this bad. Why are you looking so sad? Why are you got a fat face? You're an ugly cunt.
You squat little shit. Right, so I just start with an insult. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I open up at your badge.
Right. I don't know what I do. Differences like trying to block that out. I open up at your badge.
No. What's the matter? No, you know what I'm saying. Why are you got an egg?
Why have you got an egg? You come round here. I'm going to put this into a swear-bank situation now. I open up at your badge.
Every time you say come round here, go round there. Click. You go to the... You go to the...
You go to the... You go to the... You go to the... You go to the...
You go to the... You go to the... I don't know. You shit.
How do I owe you a pound? Because you will owe me a pound. Fuck off. You say, click.
No. When you say, click. You come round here, go round there. Anything on that ilk.
Am I gone? That's a matter of that badge. LAUGHTER Oh, that's a matter, Paul. Hey, why are you looking so sad?
You threw at my move. Welcome to fucking cheap show. Yeah, no, it's not good this week. Yeah, I've been started yet.
Well, we've done a cold open. It's not been cold. It's been shit. It's been fine.
It's been hot, hot on. It's been hot on the wall of a porcelain sink. Paul's lint toilet. Hot, hot.
John, bin frogs. I've a squirter. Is that better? Is that better?
Is it? Oh, I snuff up at your badge. Shocked. All right.
Welcome to the show. I don't know why people... Stop talking when we're about to end the show. And the show's really good now.
Let's end the show. Bye. Bye. Bye.
I hate you and your fucking moodle posse. People love noodles. Is that the fact that cheap show you're going to have to learn the fucking expect? Chee Show.
Chee Show. It's the place of a feel like Selbuman. It's a cheap show. And a girl and a nuzzle.
No, we're back. We're just kidding with you on a Friday or whatever day. You listen to this really, I guess I shouldn't say Friday. It's been the Green Street belief.
They'll tell you, by the way. What, the Thunder Queen? Well, got a letter. Oh, right.
It's nice your services have been recognised. So do you know why? She wasn't at the party at the Palace, the Derby thing or whatever, the Horsey thing. You know why?
I was up inside the Queen the whole time. That's why I had to put a hologram in her coach because she was too busy being knobsed by me. In all seriousness, I gave her a hot cramming. How can they put a hologram in there and then expect us to think that she's still alive when they do it next year?
And they put a hologram in there and people willingly waved to it. It's like waving to Basel Brush. That would be actually more of a thing. There's going to be holograms.
Basically, the cabinet's going to be all those abo robots. And like, and the Queen. How is it? She's going to be the dancing Queen.
We've reached that point, right? It's going to be Roy Orbison, two-pack-shaker. Roy Orbison. The ministers for Health and Justice.
Royal Orbison. Not Royal Orbison. Two-pack. Royal Orbison.
Yeah, yeah. Two-pack. The gorillas. The Bam gorillas.
Yes. They'll be there. What are the famous? All the ghosts from the Haunted Mansion, right?
All of them. They're all going to be there. There's ghosts. It's ghosts, including Peppers Ghost, which is a good call back.
Isn't it? Yes. What's this podcast? Hello, this is Cheapshires.
Hello. It's the Economy Comedy podcast where Eli and I say hello, Eli. Hello, Eli. We go through the bargain means of chirrit shops and pound rounds of this fair country and go, what's the matter, you?
Why are you so cheap? You can come in my mouth. The food. The food can come in my mouth.
I've stuffed up in your vatch. You're gob full of plums. LAUGHTER Your vatch is attached. Your vatch is attached.
You have a nice vatch on your vatch. Right, well, you need to get all the time. You have Matt in here. Oh, all up on your vatch.
Oh, anyway, I see it. Oh, I say to myself, oh, that's a nice vatch. LAUGHTER That's a lovely weft. You've got to have Matt in the vatch.
Right. What are you saying? What is coming up on this show? I'm not nearly done, Paul.
We are exploiting my love of looking magazines for a third time on this looking podcast, where we're going to be looking through another look in annual. It's a compilation, the best of the 70s, junior TV times. I've highlighted a few pages, but we won't get through it all, because it's quite a lot of stuff in this. Paul, do you think it's a Paul's page turners?
It is. You can join today. You can join today. It's Paul's page turners.
Don't go away. Pick up a book and turn to a page. Don't get a work for a minimal wage. You've got to do it.
You've got to do it. So the weft and the wolf on the Mattie ad Vatch. You know what? You just have to pick one song for the vatch.
And today it should be a face by Joel Dolce. You've got to keep to that. I have to pick one song for the vatch. Yes.
You've got to pick up one song for the vagina. We're not going into that book yet, so leave it, put it down. I just have one question. OK, I'm putting it down.
I like you have one question, but it's can't eat into the actual collection. Now this is a modern day reproduction. It's like a compilation. Do you think they've edited it to try and find all the most sort of what the non-sophite you mean?
Like Gary Glitter snips. They must have snipped down. Yeah, they must have done that. I mean, I think there's one or two instances of glitter in that book.
There's a couple of splashes of glitter in there, I think. Well, it's funny, isn't glitter is like hated now. I don't know why. Because it gets everywhere.
Well, it's glitter. Not Gary Glitter. Oh, glitter. The stuff.
Glitter. Yeah, well, people hate that and Gary Glitter. Because it gets in children's hair. Yes.
Can't watch it out. Good. Good. That was good, Paul.
Well done. Lovely comedy link. The mind of the comedy linker. Yeah.
So we're doing that. And then we're going to end with a Ganon's Golden Game. It's a Paul Ganon. Paul's page turn of Ganon's Golden Games today.
We've got a little game called Hot Seat. Hot Seat. We'll be in the Hot Seat. Who's who'll be in the Hot Seat?
It will be you and I. We both be in the Hot Seat. No, I'll be honest. It's basically a Mr.
and Mrs. Game. You meant to play with like three or more, but there's only two of us. We can only play two of us.
So it's just one of those games where you've got to pretend to be me and I've got to pretend to be you and answer questions. How about this for a spring? Tales from the dance floor. Oh, have you got one?
I will allow it. Now go. Young lady comes up to me. There she goes.
Can you play something? And I said, I think this might need a kind of background music of like, you know, ch, ch, ch, ch, or one of those working industry kind of background music. Anyway, she comes up. She asked for something.
And you know, I'm sorry, she asked for something. Go on, kid. Otherwise it's me just saying like a prick. You do sound like a prick.
V want to go, I worked it with music. Anyway, she came over and she was Sorry. She comes over. Doesn't come round.
I wouldn't say it. It's not round. I said and variations on so one pound what do you mean almost every sentence in English is a variation of come round here? Well, that's too competency said now.
I'm not paying pounds. I'm attacking this at home You have come round here to pick up the round keep going is the money banks get your two breakfast club. Are you three pounds? What's the breakfast club?
I know it will wake its detention and he keeps saying he keeps giving him more and more detention I don't remember it. I don't remember it. You said the line from it there good I haven't seen it certainly not a long time. You know I've seen the breakfast.
I've even seen it all in one go I think I've seen chunks of it in bits. It's not my cup of tea. I used to love that film talk about your dance floor story I know what she wanted and then she said well, Amy Weinstein Amy Weinstein It's funny because they had an Amy Weinstein specials sometimes they do specials where they do wait What's in a nagas? You're just called a Weinstein Amy Winstone Winehouse wine house so they do specials where they do wine artists like running stones David Berghamite Yeah, just for the sort of one one yes one gig.
Yeah, they do whatever they do one stone You just realized that she had two albums the first album wasn't very good. Whoa, it's actually something about three songs That's a lot of them was a cover of a suit on cover. Yeah, Valerie. What's they end with is that the story over in terms of your You ruined it you've ruined my life.
How I ruin your life could have been someone you could you I could have I could have been in It was all the thing I could have been it when did we meet what age were you when we first met? I could have been an idiot to advance or something like that. It's something reputable question right? Well, how old were you when we met roughly have a guess it's been like what it's been a while right?
I can't be my man probably around 2008. Oh, right 2009 I think let's just say 2008's what the difference right? I was you in 2008. I was 30 around 30.
No, I was 20. We didn't meet then you must have been in your 30 No, I was yeah, I was there. Yes, I was 34 34. So you're telling me in We met and you were 34 you still hadn't become someone I'm just saying I'm just wondering because you've had all that time I know I know I know I listen I know you know it comes naturally.
It sounds like it comes naturally I'm a gimme to say bum bum or willy-willy-wanky. Yeah, I think that would have got a hot material in 34 What do you mean got me hot material? Wait? I don't know what you don't even know what you're talking about you could get away with that You refer to the overground is the overland and you've been talking for months We're not talking about me right now.
We're talking about how you felt to be anything by 34 I know that you're part of a small something a small thing you big grudge me like my numbers you big grudge me and here's the thing I'm a gift to you I walk into your life like a holy spirit and you fucking needed it and you came to me and you said Paul save my career I did save my life and I grab I crafted this podcast around your strength Is this the one where everyone stops listening because it's just I stopped listening to me That's a bad thing when you stop listening to yourself. I'm just saying you should be grateful for me I am I am Paul I was just trying to make fun of now. It's time for you to make the deal complete by one blowy two hand job three Bummy round the back hole four come round here I Right we're picking number two today. I want you to shake the hands of mr.
Nobba's to seal the deal I'll spit on his head Shaking up a little bit of nature. Oh, it's very good. What you can do is that called a mates are Voice on to the meters Yeah, we go off topic look we haven't got much for you this we really don't have you noticed that We need to find a way to end the segment. Yeah, never you have a real struggle.
I'll tell you what I'll improvise this on Okay, close out this segment with the song before we kick into the looking stuff. Go on Mr. Pie in my hair where is it? Hey Like that don't you do there we go.
That's all right. Oh, bye Looking magazine it was as we talked about a lot on the podcast just go back and look for looking at it's looking When did it stop did you to get it stopped in the we talked about this before but it's not in the mid-90s? Basically, oh, so this is but this is from the 70s this compilation this annual is a collection of those early 70s first out The door looking magazine, but it was literally called the junior TV times because TV times was a thing You could buy and this was the kids version of it. Oh, it came in inside the big grown-up TV times No, it's inserted it wasn't it was there in the page?
I don't think it was fortnightly at first. Why's it called look in? They don't strange so you can look in it for your Program, that's like on your magazine open up read page. I'm a college is called open up Deep dive Podcast called deep dive will be looking into claggers.
No, but you know what I mean It's a bit meaning so it's like calling your shot coming and by I'm sure there is one I'm sure there is one Shop in the local coming in bar. I bet there isn't it's like on your restaurant eat here. Here we go Is it eat that didn't work there? No You know what Paul yeah a certain fucking questmaster from a few weeks ago still hasn't fucking coughed up the 10 quid for my choker Or that you just say come around here two more times will call it quits come around here come around here So it the looking magazine ran from 1971 to 1994 So that's a good innings considering the BBC when they released their magazines never lasted all that long couple years each And they would all die up so this was the ITV one the commercial channels in the UK Yeah, but did they did they ever have BBC things in looking no, but then you had ITV things in the TV times The radio times in well eventually because radio times originally was the BBC magazine and then there was a TV times for ITV and Chinese More channels, but then at some point I think in the late 80s 80s early 90s a law pass which means they could like it list each other's and then they did That's why radio times went drastically downhill and quality.
Oh, that's my opinion became much more taboo I think much more to it. Well, they had to pack more listings in and so the ockles ping less substantial They used to be good at articles in the radio times well It was more that it meant more when it was dedicated to BBC they could go into more debt Yeah, focus on smaller programs. I guess yeah, but you know as that all opens out you lose a lot of focus Do you think that condition where people can't picture things in their head? Whatever they call that aphasia?
Yeah, I don't understand I don't we can't can you like it's like trying to might be like to be blind and you can't because you don't It's like to be completely blind. It's not like you don't it's like you see black You don't I don't know but how can you have any kind of visual cortex and not be able to these are questions? We will never know for sure because we've never lived I mean I'd always only come up in the last few years if this was something that Actually, yeah, but that doesn't mean it didn't exist before someone gave a name to it Yeah, but it's something so fundamental no point the only realized it was a thing reasonably recently. I don't know it's not a psychologist podcast What you're saying is what I'm saying is I want to talk about generation as we crowd that and you're talking about fucking brain issues brain issues issues precious we all fall down Smoky tissues They call just issues Soggy tissues just break through the outer level of the tissues Spiky on the outside if you snap and you can stop on the inside you can survive Yeah, it's a desert the tissue of life.
What are you talking about brain stuff? I just want to make one final point on that Paul. Yeah, and what people are claiming then that for generations Throughout history people have not been able to have any kind of vision inside picture things which is what they claim. Yes Ash has that don't shake your head.
I so doubt just because you can't fathom it doesn't mean it's not a thing I don't understand what you can't stand about that I think it's about how they how they report to themselves how they report to themselves. Yes fucking educate yourself Make you gotta sound like Joe Rogan at this point. He's saying like Joe Rogan, right? So let's have a look through and pick out to talk about Leslie Crowther I turned off I was always gonna say what's Leslie Crowther how the comics trip And I didn't realize Leslie Crowther was popular to have his own wacky crowd or a crowder crowder You said crowded before Leslie Crowder that'd be a very specific job.
Yeah, just go around people called Leslie's house and sort of Other than rounds. Yeah, yeah Or get into one else it's weird like he's in this comic strip. He's late for something and auditioning that ends up being a He's not comic. He's not like a superhero.
I don't understand. Did he have a sitcom or something? I do not know only know because he presented the crowd the prices right right yeah and Stiles near eyes that's a bit of a connection to our show. I guess price of shine the price is right.
Yeah, come on down Yeah Strike it lucky every single fucking time it was similar though I think it says more about the success of that theme it was brilliant that theme was one of the best in all of Best of all the best though. It's not the main thing. It's like the biggest bump bump bump bump But what was the music in price of shut the price is right when didn't really come on down Soon no it's like a legacy show tunes kind okay energy yeah basically price of fact I didn't really have a theme it had like an orchestral kind of school running throughout the show different seriously I downloaded on audio track of like music from the American price is right and it was like 90 minutes of different different music you know like the special games and the Yeah, yeah, let's crack on with looking early page here junior show time which is a kid's talent show And the only reason I bring it up and we have to talk about it a little bit is because it one of the pictures It is two kids in blackface doing what say junior show sort of minstrel show They are doing a minstrel show and I'm a Joe Brown in the middle who's probably having to sing with them And it's all in this and for Joe Brown is that Brit rock and roll guy right? I don't get Joe Brown, but I thought he was part of a prog thing and then became a kind of one-man show himself And then that but no he's always been a he was rock and roll he was really kind of thing.
Yeah early Brit rock What was that song he was famous for yes? I got it. I got it on seven inch It was called it was called Joe Brown and the brothers and it was the swagger or something But he just he can't he turned up and everything you know He was always there. I never know about him at all I don't remember him at all he was much more obviously to face in the 70s when I think he was going quote-unquote mainstream And trying to do like the variety shows and I think he was like you know like entertainment Yeah, it was really it was a professional company then I mean as much as you could be What do you want with the sound of bow bells that's the question now?
What's interesting to me about this Paul is you said this is a reprint this is like been edited? So how is this offensive material crept in or they try to show? I mean look it's one thing to like censor the past and not put this in it all But honestly, I just think they put this in because I honestly think they feel all different time You know definitely time. Let's look at back at that page of thing.
Oh, what a different time it was when you could I don't I hope your kids I get to sing Oh mama. Yeah, I think I'm a Joe Brown mammy. Yeah, the most important of the junior showtime production Are the young stars, but so it's talking about basically behind the scene Jeff Cohen invite you to meet the conference It's just not good. It's not good Joe Brown Let's just go brown look happy enough to be performing with these I'll be honest look at that picture of Joe Brown and just off the face of it Do you think he's not a little bit uncomfortable?
He does seem a bit superb that face in his picture? Yeah, that is the face of a man who was told just a five minute little song Yeah, he came in saw the ball black dolphin went oh fuck now. Yeah very much so there's Ken Dodd Ken Dodd doing a I think I can Mexican Yeah, I love Les Dawson. Yeah, I love Les Dawson.
We all love Les Dawson. Everyone loves Les Dawson. Don't know one day Well, I think you to talk about Les Dawson properly we might have mentioned briefly talking about blankety blank. I love it But we never really talk about it.
Did he really said a album of his songs or anything about all musical I think he must have had I've never seen one, but he must have had some records everyone at the time had records out Didn't they everyone I was surprised if he didn't he was very musical wasn't he that was the great thing about him It's like he was obviously very talented penis, but every time he was behind a piano He would play it poorly. Oh, but you forget how hard it is to do that and make it work Yeah, Jerry Marsden Lionel Blair Lionel Blair. He was around for so long wasn't he yeah on everything? He was an absolute Titan Bobby Bennett Lionel Blair was an absolute Titan of Light Entertainment Lionel Blair tell you what's fun staying up all night on LSD and then an old old episode of buddy give us a clue comes on with Lionel Blair and he'd lose your shit No, no, no shit because you stop thinking he's giving you secret codes.
Yeah, he's hilarious It's like what he's really doing is I don't know at Friday tomorrow to the whistle stop cafe, but you'll go He's lying on speaking to me. He's asking me to kill. He's asking me to kill no kill No, but I did watch an edition of like a what's that the Maori show not Maori. Yeah, the Maori show and I was on acid and I had this weird hallucination where all their eyes were like they had no eyes and they will fly so I could see flies buzzing around inside They're dark skulls you should have just wasn't there usual episode because it sounds like it might have not been too Like the guys buzzing around there's no eyes and just flies buzzing around in this is her and not Jerry spring feels What is named Jerry's what's Jerry Springer Jerry Springer?
What's happened to him? He's done around Do you know that film in the late 90s ringmaster? He's an absolute hacky piece of crap Here's my favorite page meet Roger Moore because Roger Moore by time this was article was printed wasn't bonjet He wasn't bonjet. No, it's interesting.
He was the same. He had just finished being the same. He was about to start the persuaders with Tony Curtis Did he do the persuaders with Tony Curtis? Yes?
Oh, that's what the persuaders was. They were like playboy crime solvers Do you know what the other link between the persuaders and James Bondi's apart from Roger Moore? Tell you you know who's the guy did the bear bon thing John Barry also did the persuaders they were good on seven inch. Oh, yeah It's really good.
I imagine it's kind of a Jason x fucking out Jonathan King, you know department X kind of thing It's good. It's very it's a patch you could put it's put something now So it's really interesting I thought they framed this so Jeff Cohen I think it's one of the main produce article makers for the movie Nearly Days and says go and interview Roger Moore the editor said we've had a lot of letters from looking readers asking all sorts of questions about him And I want the answers. Oh, it sounds like that He's not really keen I was more than pleased to do that afterwards I every day you get the chance to meet the star of Ivanhoe maverick and the Saints not bonjet What's Ivanhoe? Wasn't it a period drama right in mass from Kamar's Maverick?
I mean there's the Maverick the western with the guy who played the cloud with the guy from the rocket files right Marlle Anyway him he might have been in the original TV series of Maverick Recalling your role in Ivanhoe. Did you enjoy the part of course? It took me back to my childhood. It was a great fun riding horses firing bows and arrows and flooring riding I'm doing the horn Paul your face is drooping on one side is it's striking straight time?
Oh, yes, it is. I'll get Mr. Nubbin out and you can shake his head with a spat handshake What's happening right now? Fucking hell this is my favorite part of the whole thing is just I put this on Twitter But I like this while rehearsing for the same series Did you ever knock anyone out by mistake?
He goes no on screen It looks better if you swing your arm when punching but if you really want to knock a man out you do this I'd like to name this land out towards my solar plexus and it stopped inches before landing home I sighed with the leaf. I was glad that Roger disliked violence. Did he run some work? I did for the same I'd fall down a flight of 40 steps, but I draw the line at 45 or falling off a horse It's very dangerous to fall off a horse.
It's you ask a Christopher Eve. I can't he's dead now We'd you bought out we can speak to Chris for me or just how redundant we could fake it just you speak and spell it's fine How redundant would it be to actually be able to contact the spirit of a deceased Christopher Eve and then ask him if it's dangerous to fall off a horse It's quite obvious just a quick thing and here time at times comics trip on the buses Oh Dirty old men who you know man the bus London buses and it's basically excuse to go It's one of the plots is that they're getting female drivers for the first time I think it's in the movie mutiny on the buses and then they literally they're mutiny because women are Yeah, they sabotage our heroes. Yeah, and they sabotage them. It's a thing.
It's like even carry on cabi that had a very similar plot about You know female cab drivers ruining it. I did it dealt with it differently and better Okay, so like stank a formal urgency in power to the female character that where it's in the movie on the buses It's like the old we're pink. They're all picked on there But some of them start crying at the end of those shifts and they're all Isn't isn't there a carry on? Carry on film where it's kind of anti-union.
Well, yeah, carry your convenience. Oh, is that it basically? Yeah, it's like It's all the working classes to enjoy where we tell them from our upper middle class ways how unions are way to time foolish and Little Italy's don't know we need to get rid of them don't we and we'll do it in the confines of a toilet factory I mean, I fucking love your convenience. It's not the whole factory.
Yeah, the whole plot is the company suffering and They want to move into be days, but that's very un-British be days never caught on over it. Did they? No, not really that bad culture like a dirty arse in this country, don't we? Well, be the old British dirty arse in this country We love it.
We just don't want to square our asses after we shit No one can fade our great British arses. We like him stinky. We like him crusting and we like him skiddies We like our British skiddies don't we in our pants. Did you leave a skiddie on the Queen's plan?
No, no, no, stop. Here's a page I wanted to signify because we need to look for this magpie the ITV version of blue Peter Which no one remembers. Well, some people do I know what his was they released a song apparently on vinyl They released the theme chain from magpie, but I've never seen it in the wild. Have you I never have I'd be quite interested So yeah, this is got a full band to be recalled it and they took a cowbell and it was available at 50 Pete It's called twice a week.
Oh, that's the B size called twice a week Pizza and it's on the decker label. There's a code here as well, which is interesting F one three two five six Because what disc discogs could you find it with that code? Yeah? Well, why can't we just listen to it on YouTube?
I'm asking you to do what the name of the magpie was John quite a good name. You'd like it Philip. All right, you're street Merger Troy's Merger Troy's memories. I like that name Merger Troy funny name Have you found it yet?
What's it called magpie theme magpie theme better than a nightmare more like a dream magpie theme the magpie theme open up your Ask Queen fill you with cream the creamy Queen dream magpie TV theme TV studio version Is it more than three minutes Spencer Davis group did a version of magpie children's TV thing? Did they yeah? Oh? Magpie Spencer Davis group put that one on see what that's like Never to be cool Cool What was the blue Peter thing Oh, anyway, I'll keep an eye out for the my pipe theme on vinyl I'm like to get hold of that because I quite like the song.
It's like it's proper 70s TV theme magic It's TV things back then were class would easily been done by Fleetwood Mac Yeah, if your kids TV theme could have been done by Fleetwood Mac did Fleetwood Mac do anything? No, but I'm imagining you could if it sounds like a pop tune that you would listen back didn't want to do anything They didn't want to tour when they were put for a tour in the talk each other a lot though And they write songs about it passively aggressively. They certainly did. Oh, there's Mark Bowlin Yeah, one of the questions I asked him at the end of this interview is if you could live your life again I'm presuming this was done before his death.
Would you change anything and he goes? Maybe I change a few business decisions, but personally I'm enjoying life as it is no worries for me. Oh, it's nice Isn't it he likes get it on out of all his songs best get it on bang it on it's a bit sort of Exclusionary those and it's like bang a gun you have to be up a middle class have a gong in your house Wouldn't you love a dinner gong? Yeah, but you didn't have a gong.
We did have a gong Yeah, I know you go on and it would be like dinner to come down for my bed Are you joking silently? And we'd all go into the living room and slightly food and then when everything was eaten without the gun one We'd all go back to our rooms and silently read until bedtime at seven o'clock exactly And then what would happen and then the robes come out and then usually like we have a lamb and we sacrifice it you have a lamb Yeah, and we just cut it through Every night every night every night. Yeah, I'd love it Every day. Oh, here's another thing in the magazine on the show.
Yes, I never heard of a magazine having this before sweet looking sweet So sweet and black beauty what is called? Yeah, I was like a you think that's like a blackjack It's there's no other information or you're sorry wrecking the black beauty is probably licorice or aniseid flavoured It's funny. You've got the partridge family sweet elephant boy, which I've never heard of the TV show elephant boy There was a show called elephant boy. Yes, what part of him was like an elephant?
That's the troubling thing. But he's fucking really Really that you could fucking pick stuff up with maybe that's why this sweet so big long so I'm yeah big long suck like twist your No bend right back and scratch your bum or with the end of your knob like a trunkwards Barker and Dobson with a cup with the sweet factory people who made these sweets There's a world of sports a partridge family elephant boy and black beauty sweets. Are they real? Yeah, it is existed But they probably couldn't tell you what they were just assorted sweets So one might might have been a minty chew a bit of marketing tie in I bet those were sweets that already existed within the Barker and Hobbes range Yeah, and special rappers probably like black beauty might be a dark toffee kind of thing I think the black beauty is more likely to be a blackjack a sort of licorice or aniseid sweet here's none of it Yeah, here's a lot of date.
Maybe years ago on cheap show the early days we did not down in the dragon. Yes See to the near oh really yeah, it's a morning special if you're among the 400,000 children who go to the special Saturday morning shows that many cinemas run for your Audiences then you'll have seen Jack wild screen debut in down either dragon It was made by the children's film find a show as a ten-part cereal for Saturday morning audience It was a film it was a series. I never seen it all in one go Maybe you did because you came later in the whole evolution of the children did you to go to those Saturday morning? Yeah, but they were in our school they weren't they weren't in a cinema They put a projector up on a screen on a Saturday.
Yeah, how lovely it'll be all stuff like that. That'd be great Yeah, it's weird thinking back that schools did that because I don't think schools do anything like that now Of course, but why would you ever watch my everything bloody? I found special film shows for children with piney by granola TV as long ago as 1927 when it was known as granola cinemas later Jay Arthur ranks up a special department in the rank organization to make films just for kids then in 1951 all branches of the British Film Industry agreed to finance the children's film foundation the CFF that's gone completely now Yeah, but it's quite but they were quite poor some of those films weren't they that they make yeah But the idea of making stories just for kids for the cinema great is a really cool idea in some respect But yeah, you don't need it part of the whole disappeared world of you know That's a entertainment today the CFF has produced nearly 100 feature films 30 cereals and many many shorts amongst the CFC F's discoveries Like Jack Wild who I presume is a little child actor who was known in Danny the dragon initially of francesca Amis Michael Crawford Susan George Olivia Hussy and Carol White and Jay Arthur rank became slang for blank Abba Jay Arthur or I'm about to Abba Jay Arthur. Where's the teacher for this Saturday morning cinema school?
Oh, he's having a Jay Arthur round the back in a dog's mouth Why in a dog's mouth? What is it like in your mind? All these dogs performing acts on people in your mind aren't there is Bruce Willis not Bruce Willis Bruce Willis's generation game the two Bruce's in your life Bruce Willis and Bruce Forsythe crossover we never got Advertising we to books is a great big part. Oh, no game.
Don't you me? Prime Bruce isn't it join me in the family game? What's the family game the family game? That's the generation game family game.
So remember the family games are not coffee did Just a week to be promotion probably Well in the week of its family game, so can you mama dad? It's a game all your family can pay it's a great chance for you to win some fabulous prizes Speedball bicycles watches So much eat a couple of television car take record high-frying unit a cinema camera motorboat a food mixer transistor radio record And please many very bold. I ask you mom to pick up a special week to mix today. Thank you get cracking I Do a quick pop quiz you fuck before we end this segment because there's way to get into it.
Hey, hey, break mouth No nose. Hey, hey, you fucking big loaded ex-plat. Hey, you know, I make you a pop quiz. You fucking twix Stupid bangty bastard.
Hey You want to do a pop quiz you ugly cunts What is this with this today? I'm saying nothing bad about you that McCaffity had it hit with a single out of time Can you name the artist you released the original version at first had it hit with it ten years ago from 1971? It's rolling stones. No, is that how many have we got 20?
Is that right? Yeah, there's 20 clue I don't know the answer is Chris Follow course. I knew that too. I'm talking of down the cavity Do you know which do you know which I don't know?
Do you know which band he sings with their latest top 20 hit? What's the trip top 20 hit calls my white bicycle? So what band did he sing with you saying my white bicycle? Which is also re-released as Neil from the old ones on his album?
Well, my white bicycle was by tomorrow, which is Virgil dad's band Did you say what this says? Oh queen no Nazareth. Yes. Thank you see blam.
Can you name the artist who had a hit with motor biking? Is it a band or artist? It's an artist you're not gonna get it. Oh, well done.
Well done. Okay, don't fucking test me I'm just asking you questions from 1972 looking at that was good wasn't it? Well, remember do you like yeah? Yes, disco text is an amazing person.
Do you know his nationality and another of his names disco text? Is he another name and a normal name? I'm looking at it. Not really.
I don't think you're gonna get this Is he like Argentinian or something like that? He's from Puerto Rico Puerto Rico, right? And his other name is say Monty Rock the third. So Monty Rock the third.
Well, just to be honest, a fucking great name. If you rock up to a club and you say hello, I say Monty Rock the third. It'll be like how many pairs of tits would you like to come on tonight sir? And you go all of them.
That's what I'd say. That'd be on my ryber, right? Anagram. No, I don't want to go out.
Nine lovely Lou and Peter sings with the group the 5,000 volts who had a big hit with I'm on fire. Luan is however better known as an actress. Can you name the top-girdart of TV series she once appeared in? What's she called?
Luan Peters. Crossroads. Good guess but wrong. Coronation strings.
Oh, that one I always get those confused. I knew it was an let's fight up. Do you know which star was planning to live next door to Elton John in Beverly Hills until his house burned down before he even moved in? That's interesting.
When he was that? Oh, who wanted to live next door to Elton John in Beverly Hills before his house burned down before he could move in? Why would he want to live? Is it just because he wanted to I guess for some reason?
Is he a musician? Yes, he's definitely a musician and I'll give you another little clue. Maybe they wanted to play golf together. Tarby?
No, why would you live in Beverly Hills? Oh, Alice Cooper is correct. I'll do you one more. I'll do you one more.
I'll do Alice Cooper's a big golfer. Le Bertell the all-girl trio. Yes. Had a hit with Lady Marmalade.
He certainly did. Do you know what Le Bell used to be called? This is a bit of a trick question. Why?
Well, when I tell you the answer, it'll be blatantly obvious. The Le Bells. Oh, Patty in the Bells. Patty in the...
No, just a minute. Real name. Patty Le Bell. Yeah, it's correct.
Right. Fantastic singer. Last question. I'll ask a question.
We'll wrap this up. The average white band now live in America, but they weren't born there. Do you know which country they hailed from? Scotland.
Is correct. Well done. Your 70s pop knowledge is pretty good. It's quite superb.
I'm enjoying that. And then you more questions? No, that's it. Let's wrap this up.
Benny Hill Page is a Benny Hill cartoon strip. Now, when we were growing up, Paul, we were very much in the midst of the alternative comedy sort of revolution, you might call it, in this country, didn't we? And then one of their big hated figures was Benny Hill, because of his perceived sexism. And he always used to have bits of his show.
I think he's less likely hated than what is more like he was an easy target for them to say, here's what's wrong with British comedy. I know, but he was a brilliant clown in physical comedian. Originally. Some of it was brilliant.
He's like, 60s work. But he worked because I think he bounced from ITB to BBC to ITB. I think it was something like that. It was quite good.
Interesting songs. It was kind of like when his success made him lazy, I think. So I get to the 80s and like that. It's just chasing the big rest of women all around.
He was repeating sketches. Someone did a documentary about it on YouTube where it was like, here's a regular sketchy there in 1961. And here's him doing it again in 1970. And here's an even worse version in the 1990s series.
Did you have a series in the 1990s? He went to America, didn't he? Wow. Did like a Benny Hill in America, which is exactly the same show with repeated sketches and just we've done in America.
Well, he did have international appeal because a lot of those sketches didn't have any dialogue. It's fucking love, weird shit like Benny Hill and Mr. Bean. It's weird.
I don't get it. It's pretty funny. I thought Benny Hill was pretty funny, obviously. Benny Hill himself was a talented man.
He can't take that away from him. What I think he became was a lazy person. Absolutely. Anyway, lazy.
However, let's be honest. Did you ever really? Great thing she won a slapper person on the head. Slapper person on the head and then run around and circle with everyone chasing you.
Yes. Everyone wanted to do that. I still wanted to do that. I'm thinking for our live show, we can recreate a Benny Hill where either I pull off someone's clothes in the audience and then hilariously everyone will chase me round.
Should we get some little bald guys? Is it coming along? Do we know anyone's small and bald? No, we don't.
How about we just get a small baby that hasn't grown into a young man. Oh, come on. Go back it round the edge. Drag it on a stage.
Paul. I ate that, Doc. I don't need the tongue. No, I don't need the tongue.
No, we don't need the tongue. I'm just going to say, I'm just before we sign off for this. I'm going to get an excuse now. Save for chargey.
No, I'm going to save for chargey. I'm not going to save for chargey. I'm not going to save for chargey. I'm not going to save for chargey.
I'm not going to save for chargey. Come on. Then come on. Surprised me.
I just want something original that isn't to do with anything bodily. In my mind. No, it's not. In my mind, there is a cloudly.
It's in your mind and it's in your head. No, that's the definition of not body mind. It's the other thing that isn't the body is the mind. Isn't it?
That is part. It comes from your body. Well, your mind isn't there. Is it hovering in front of you?
Where is it? Inside your head. No. What does that mean?
And your cavern space and thought. It's not. No, it's not. Oh, God.
You're making me bilious. That's the body. Yeah. Yeah.
So, come on. Talk about the mind space. Right. In my mind space palace.
Just in your head. No, it's not. So, what? It's hovering outside of you.
It's not outside of you. So, how do you have contact with it? Where does it generate from? Where is it coming from?
I don't have the answer to this. You do. It's inside your head. It's not separate floating in the cloud.
It's not inside your head. It's not located inside your head. It's not located inside your head. You're floating outside your head.
Your mind isn't inside your head. It's falling apart. You're falling a shit mate. That's why.
That is actually quite true. I am begging to drop the cogs. Well, let's have a little break. Oh, snipping off for like, let's have a little.
I might need to crack out a hot tub. Yes. Sorry. I don't like to talk, you know, out.
Careful. Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to peek behind the other night. Paul was editing the podcast and he sent me recordings of his bum fashion. Wait, no.
Have you got him on your phone? Mate, am I deleting this ever? No. So, when I edit, ladies and gentlemen, sometimes I get early in the morning.
It's like two, three, something like that. And sometimes, you know, I just want to share my workload with Eli. And as a result, I send them lovely little presents like this. That's one.
That was the best one. That was the first one. That's a classic finish. Let me just go through the next one.
That was a little quick one. This one also is a bit sad. It's got that. And I'll just give you, I'll end you with this one of my favorites.
Here we go. You'll end me with it. I can set them all off in one go. There we go.
The one that started off my inspirational story. Oh, so what have you got to say? I just wanted to apologise to this, because we've both been... What was that before?
The noise before? That was me breathing. I mean, not breathing. I mean, trying to get a phone down to the...
Yeah, it's actually rustling the phone a bit. Bye, everyone. Bye. Back to the end of that segment.
See you after the break. Bye. Oh. Ee.
Where am I? I'm in the dark. What shall I do with my time? Oh, I wish I had some kind of thing to do.
It's Ganon's Gold, yes. It's Ganon's Gold, yes. Here I am in the dark. It's Ganon's Gold and Gaines.
Here I am in the dark. That's sad. Well, wait for it. Then Ganon's Gold and Gaines Gold.
Oh, no, no, no, no. So, of my mind, I've got the flies basing around in my empty skull. They basing around, they basing around, they basing around. Then let's restart again.
Start this big end. I would like to simply just stab you in the throat with a pen. Can we start again? No?
You get one do, or they get one more look and play around. I'll just go back to the classic garden. Garden gnomes games. It's like all I do.
It's time for garden gnomes games. See, there we go. Oh, I'm sitting on a table still. No, me bits.
That's not a gnome. That's your penis. Yeah, no. It looks like a gnome.
It looks like a very ugly gnome. An angry gnome with Monkey Box. It doesn't look like a daily male reading gnome. He's just seen an article about immigration.
He's furious. We are plenty young. He spits out of spunk. Yes, my little gnobbing.
I just want to apologise again to everyone. I'm really not feeling it this week. Oh, hello. Oh, it's another episode where Eli's not feeling it again.
Mondays, tell me why. I know why I don't like Mondays because I have to fucking record with you. That's why I don't like you. Oh, call me ugly then.
Anyway, Gavin's golden. He's getting mad. If you're going to shout, at least go away from the microphone. You guys are better.
Go, go, go, go. Go, go, go. Go, go, go, go. Give me a hand.
Give me a hand. I'm genuinely considering dropping this segment just so I don't have to fucking go through this every time we do it. Yeah, let's go and go. Thank you.
What's the game? We're going to the game today, Gavin. I went to the corner shop. I went to the shop around the corner of the view.