(Ep. 29) Navigating Manipulation, Narcissism, and Gaslighting

What if the behaviors we're quickest to label in others — manipulation, narcissism, gaslighting — are almost always coming from a place of pain and lack?In this episode of Triggered & True, Laura Duncan and co-host Brian Freise take on three of the most charged buzzwords in our culture right now: manipulation, narcissism, and gaslighting. It's an unplanned episode, sparked by a real trigger Brian noticed in himself the week before — and it turns into one of the more counter-cultural conversations they've had, not to excuse harmful behavior, but to look honestly at what's underneath it.Laura defines manipulation as an attempt to comfort pain and get needs met through other people — something we all do, often subconsciously, because we're "starving emotionally." She and Brian explore why manipulation only ever comes from lack (a full heart does not need to manipulate), how blame and the "good vs. bad, victim vs. villain" split give us a shame-fueled high that keeps us from our own pain, and why the truth is we're usually both the victim and the villain. The point isn't to minimize what's been done to you — Laura is explicit about that — but to hand you something more powerful than blaming the villains in your story: the ability to be who you are in the middle of it.In this episode: 🔹 A new definition of manipulation: an attempt to get unmet needs met through your external world 🔹 Why manipulation only comes from lack — and why full people do not need to do it 🔹 The victim-and-villain trap: how the "I'm good, you're bad" high keeps you from your own pain 🔹 Why labels like "narcissist" and "gaslighter" can impede the real wound underneath 🔹 A more powerful path than blame: being okay and being yourself, even with difficult peopleA gentle note: this episode reframes charged terms with compassion and is not meant to minimize actual harm. Laura is clear she's not excusing hurtful behavior. If you're in an abusive situation, your safety comes first. This conversation is about tending your own heart, not staying in harm's way.📩 Get your free Weekly Dose of Compassion — two short notes in your inbox every week. One to speak over yourself. One from Laura: https://www.lauraduncan.com/pl/2148814868🔗 Learn more: https://triggeredandtrue.com https://lauraduncan.com