EP 296: 'I Want to Recover, BUT I'm Scared' ~ The One Word Keeping You Trapped + What to Do Next

Today's episode is about one word, sis. One tiny, three-letter word that is quietly deciding the direction of your entire recovery — and honestly, your entire life. "I want freedom, BUT I'm terrified." "I want to recover, BUT I've tried everything." "I want peace with food, BUT I don't trust myself." Sound familiar? That little word BUT is doing more damage than you realize — and today I'm handing you the one-word swap that changes everything. Grab your Tarjay journal, girl. This one's a game changer. BUT is a fixed mind Here's what the word BUT actually does: it erases everything that came before it. "I want freedom, BUT I'm scared." Do you hear it? The want just got deleted. The fear got the final word. BUT is a full stop dressed up as a sentence — it takes your desire and slams the door on it. BUT is the fixed mind talking. It says these two things can't exist together: if I'm scared, I can't move. If I've struggled before, I can't succeed now. If it's hard, it must not be for me. I lived in BUT for years. I want to get better, BUT this is just who I am. Every BUT was a brick in the wall between me and my freedom. AND is a growth mind Now watch what happens with one swap: "I want freedom, AND I'm scared." Both things get to be true. The fear doesn't erase the want. The want doesn't require the fear to disappear first. They walk together. AND is the growth mind: I can be terrified AND take the next step. I can have doubts AND keep going. I can have a history of struggle AND a future of freedom. This is how courageous women actually move — not by waiting for the fear to leave, but by letting the fear ride in the backseat while the want drives. Not one woman who ever got free stopped being scared first. They just stopped letting BUT have the last word. You can't choose both — choose one Coach Lindsey coming in hot, because I love you too much not to: you cannot live in BUT and AND at the same time. One kills the want; one carries it. So the next level of your life — the recovered you, the free you, the fully-present-at-the-dinner-table you — is asking you one question: what does this next level require from me? It starts here: choose your word. BUT or AND. Fixed or growth. The wall or the door. You're already choosing one, a hundred times a day, in the tiny sentences inside your head. Today, choose it on purpose. The longest walk you'll ever take My business mentor and coach James Wedmore says something that has never left me: "The greatest distance we will ever walk is between our head and our heart." And whew — is that the truth in recovery. Because your head already knows. You've listened to the podcasts, read the books — you could teach a class on what recovery requires. Knowledge isn't your problem, sis. The walk is from knowing it up here… to believing it in here. From "recovery is possible" as information to "recovery is possible FOR ME" as truth. And what carries you on that walk isn't more information — it's AND. Every time you say "I'm scared AND I'm doing it anyway," you take one more step from your head toward your heart. Every meal chosen in fear, every rest taken in doubt, every hand raised for help before you feel ready — those are the footsteps. That's the walk. Try it on Take your sentence — you know the one — and swap the word: "I want to be free, BUT I've had this for decades" → "I want to be free, AND I've had this for decades — so I know exactly how much this freedom is worth." "I want to trust myself, BUT I've broken promises to myself before" → "I want to trust myself, AND I'm learning to keep promises to myself, one at a time." Feel the difference? BUT ends the story. AND continues it. And sis — your story is not finished. A few lines from the episode "BUT is a full stop dressed up as a sentence." "The fear doesn't erase the want. They walk together." "Not one woman who ever got free stopped being scared first. She just stopped letting BUT have the last word." "The greatest distance we will ever walk is between our head and our heart." — James Wedmore "BUT is the wall. AND is the door." "I want this, AND I'm scared, AND I'm going anyway." Your homework this week Catch your BUTs. Every time you hear one in your head — I want this, BUT… — pause and swap it out loud: I want this, AND. Then take your biggest BUT sentence, write it in your journal, and rewrite it with AND. Watch what it opens. 'I want support, BUT…' — girl, swap it "I want support, AND I'm scared, AND I'm reaching out anyway." That's the move. And that's exactly what we do together! Connect with Lindsey: 🌟 Website: www.herbestself.co 🌟 Instagram: @thelindseynichol 🌟 Free FB Community: www.herbestselfsociety.com 🌟Client Application: HBS Co. Recovery Coaching - Client Application - Google Forms Love this episode? Here's how you can support the show: 💕 Share it with a woman who might need to hear this message 💕 Leave a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show 💕 Screenshot and tag @thelindseynichol if any of these steps help you this week! Remember, beautiful: Your worth is not measured by how perfectly you do recovery. Healing isn't linear, progress over perfection always, and you are exactly where you need to be right now. Her Best Self with Lindsey Nichol is a podcast for women in eating disorder recovery who are ready to break free from perfectionism, people-pleasing, and diet culture to live authentically and wholeheartedly. *While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.