Ep. 3: Two Hard Snacks in a Panty-Filled Vending Machine

On this episode of To Outsmuck a Smucker, Doug channels his best Orson Welles and reads a diary entry from The Uncrustables -- a neo-noir adapted from a gothic novel. Alice accompanies with some questionable impressions of Crustopher Walken and Jammy Stewart. They also decide to adopt a baby cow, name her Maddie, raise her for eighteen months, then take her out for ribs. Wait. Her ribs? Or just ribs? Other discussion topics may include:  - Ice(landic s)cream therapy - See-through lavatories and other provocative rooms - Consuming food both meant for and emitting from animals - Shower Sandwiches with Anna Kendrick - Honestly, they really just talk about Uncrustables for, like, six hours. [Allergy Warning: Contains gluten, dairy, eggs, and well-meaning yet ultimately misleading information about Temple Grandin]