But it's fear that runs the world and I think it always has it because it's a huge huge motivator for animals Not just humans look at the animal world here is their motivator and we came from them. So of course, we're gonna lead our lives based on fear When you feel that fear if you can become aware that just like they say no, baby. Oh, that's fear How do you want to use this information? Yeah How are you using that and we're not we're not trying to see the answer was precious Why everyone wants that answer is that's what like we become that human beings.
We're how we operate as how they have made us I'm right with the mind using the mind. I understand what it does Yeah And they run back to your friend Shit, I don't remember one. I've read a whole bunch of shit So much about the world Because the way he spoke like I can't explain to you the way that this kid I felt like like My grandma used to say there's more of somebody like when you need like a genius or when you meet like somebody who's extremely spiritual I can feel it was a really good feeling. I felt that around here me Like I just felt the story like he the way he spoke the way he cared himself He would always know that he had just like bring a conversation and he could be reading a book and then chime in and add like the Most intelligence facts about history the facts about science like, you know Psychology statistics while he's still reading like into our conversation and they just like I learned so much for Jeremy And then he became depressed because he felt like he knew too much about the world That's so cool.
And then he took a shotgun and shot himself. I Like to believe that my French friend Jeremy is living what Jeremy Jeremy would have done if we realized that He could do something for the world Instead of himself over it. He felt like there's nothing in the world wasn't worth it. I mean he felt that you Yeah, everything you know he there's a million years ago about but he didn't rest not God's acquisition But there was something that he could do.
Yeah, exactly nice. That's the trigger And I also believe that we can't so I also believe it's understanding We didn't want to right and that's you know, that was the reason to die Then again, what is that stuff? I just think like it's Jeremy Jeremy being as smart as he possibly was I think it's kind of there's gotta be more to it than he just thought he'd do much There's more to his understanding of what the world is what he believed it was and why he had to believe he needed to leave He was a smart person. He either believed he needed to leave it That's what I was when I when I picture myself actually like going there like it must have just like thought that he was I would have to There's a little way like you have to For a better or worse person without my fucking server.
It's a blip in the street Nobody's gonna fucking care. Yeah for up. You know, but everyone does care. Exactly.
Let's make ourselves care Like we're through to care for it. We'll have to care for ourselves. That's a fucking game I truly that and ever since I realized I was fucking down with the way that I have it It's a stupid fucking way to express it. It's a message.
You know, it's like it's for you. What the fuck else I believe I come to that understanding which is why like by knowing that I overcame it Because I actually believe that once what the fuck like whatever, right? And that's like One thing that's and feeling that that is something that we truly want to go through and then not doing it So like the question I'm asking is what is it that stops people from doing that or what is it that holds you? I'm just thinking that I'm just going to go like fuck doesn't but I don't matter anything What is that itself a lot of it which direct that self-love do you think every reason everybody who's not this I don't believe that.
So whatever reason you might have come to it might not have been the same thing that Jeremy came to that That is very true. Jeremy might have loved himself, but he didn't love this planet and he loved himself enough to spare him Yeah, I'm not saying that's what he thought. I'm just I agree with you that that's a different perspective And maybe I might have come across as if I talked about it as if I that's the only way I could have loved him So it's true But I think there is something common though if you go together somebody that has overcome it We sat down and talked about like what was the reason that you didn't kill yourself Like what was that and then let's analyze what you believe that was and then figure out if that's a common thing Like is it a word is a courage is it that would be a really good like advertisement for a commercial for the american's Yeah, just like a couple of clips and like a group of people sitting down like having promised to each other Like the things in life that kept up with themselves and how we realized it and then a commercial for the suicide hotline Yeah, because we have a number of seats you call it. Yeah, yeah, I called it logic is a song that is called that Yeah, that's so good.
They just listen to talk or a cry. I wonder if they know if there's a comment Like is it when do you call people and they call me like what is that you tell me? When I talked on the phone with somebody four or else two hours on the floor on my back I don't like me crying and not because I thought it was because I didn't have anybody to talk to you That's dusty. It was broken hearted.
I felt I was I was like I thought on my pole And I didn't have any talk to you so I'm like all my eyes I'm first this late talker and they just listen to you and they tell you that they're sorry you're going through this and they say things like I imagine that that must feel terrible. I can imagine what you're going through and instead of trying to tell you what how to solve it They just listen to you talk about your response what you're saying. Yeah, they're not trained to like You're not guiding the counselor They're not trying to teach you they're trained to be somebody to be there for you to talk to you and if they feel like you're About to tell yourself. They're trained on questions at all.
Do you know that she has questions, but just like keep me explaining the situation She said things like I understand what you do that way or not. You know that must be terrible Do they tell stories about themselves? I don't think she did. That's the very interesting hell that you managed to keep the conversation going No, I'm sure not always maybe it was just in my case.
That's how I went down because it's probably an individual who ever calls them on a case of a basis It should be a good spot because of how long my conversation has been I was still grateful for it. I completely was able to calm down after it. No. I actually drink another sip of it.
No, I drink it and let that So what is the reason that you say that? I don't know if you don't have a paperwork. You would have drank it and do it for the money. Yes.
Okay, let me then. Let's eliminate that. Let's put up with you. All right.
Yeah, I think that this is how you how you do that. So it's well through. Can you disconnect and connect to this? Yes.
Okay. Awesome. Is it annoying that I ask you? Absolutely not.
How do you see it? That you want to need it to connect to this? Do you think conversation really is completely different from what we're talking about in the first place? That you're just checking on me to make sure that I can get there?
No. Okay, that's interesting. That's not what I was trying to do. Well, because you asked me if it was okay if we pull out of this and go into this now.
And yeah, it is. But now you changed what you said in the first place. I said, of course it is. What did I say in the first place?
Is that also perception? I might argue that. If it's perception, then I should shut the fuck up and people stop. Because I'm unsure about why I said that.
So if it's not important, then it's all right. Okay. Okay. So what do you want to do?
So we're pulling out of this and going into this. I don't remember. Okay. I was talking about money and figuring out money and you said, let's do this now.
Oh, yeah, yeah. My budget, right? Because the reason you have a fear is because, okay, so it's five hundred and seven, five hundred and fifty seven or seven five thousand, five thousand, seven hundred and seventy five dollars. So what I'm trying to do is find.
Yeah, I can't push it down. I can't. Oh, if you have to pull it to the left, I have it here. I can't pull down to where I did that.
Okay. So that's what we have. This is what we have. This is after our overspendings of what we're previous budget was.
We have a history of doing incorrect budgets, right? Do we? Yeah, because every time we're like, we don't have this much money. Now that is right now.
Okay. Is that negative me? Nope. I thought it's funny because I run it because that's not situation now.
Then I thought maybe it was negative. Okay. Cool. Yeah.
So we need to take out the eight dollars a day for our hotel. Yep. This is what I want to get to earlier. Yep.
Three dollars a day. And then what all your expenses do we have? You want to buy the camera? You want to buy your phone because that's going to take about five hundred dollars.
Not necessarily because five hundred dollars. I don't need a thanks phone. I'm thinking about the budget. I'm perceiving that I do and that's why I shouldn't.
It's a fucking device. Right. When I'm doing this, you need to make money. That's the money for it.
Exactly. That's why I'm doing this. I'm getting the cheapest fucking cool away shit. That's why I have to realize.
The reason I'm looking for this is when we go through, let's find for two hundred dollars. Just go get a nice phone because you're probably going to use it for the next two years or so. But don't get, do you don't need the most expensive? Six thousand.
Do you understand what I'm saying? Yeah. You don't need the most expensive phone I want because when I'm doing this, you're going to phone because you can technically use this if you wanted to save the money. We're doing it so we can get the actual money.
But I can't use the phone unless I sell it. I can't do what we were thinking about doing unless I sell it. You don't have to get in. Right.
I said, okay. I guess I started saying that. We are not doing this with insurance. Because we want to get rid of it.
That's not what I'm doing. We're doing it because we want the actual money that's going to come. In that reason, we don't need to get to the next one in the world. We just need to get rid of it.
I 100% agree with that. I 100% agree with that. Because then now we will have the actual money. You'll have a phone that's not broken and that's not about to fall apart in a second.
And then when we get to the states, what else is not going to get you in front of me? Yeah, I agree with that. Right? So let's do you want to be fun?
Can you survive with yours? Do you think you can pull out of yours? But can I then also not do this? Are we going to spend just as much money?
I think the hard question is, what are we going to spend on money? Because are we going to start buying this? No, no, stop it. Do not ask that question anymore.
I'm not allowing you to ask that question. What do we spend on money? It's not going to be asked. It's not going to be spent unless it has to be spent when it needs to be spent.
That's how you have to run it when you're bored. You're like, how will this money be like? You're like looking for ways to survive money. You're like, do I buy you phone?
Do I buy you phone? You're like looking for ways to spend it. We get this money. We keep it in our pocket because things come up in which you suddenly need money for.
And you, shit, you don't have any. We don't want to. We don't like to decide what I'm doing with this. We just keep it.
It's going to get needed eventually when we have to buy. More kids are trying to get at the top when we think that are usually good things. The more the better kind of the value. So then you survive the dead one.
I think that I would be able to give enough money to buy a new one, a better one than that, with the money that I get from selling it. So I'm just going to keep it for now. It'll be fine. I've had it.
It works. It just dies in two hours. That's fine. Really it happens.
So I'll just keep that one. Okay, perfect. And we get as much for this. As possible?
I spend the least one. What is $10,000? $300, right? That's how much they want to get you for this thing.
It's a cool story. Fuck, that's a period. I'm a fire right now. Go ahead.
Good job. I don't want to get a fire about that. Go ahead. That process is what I'm trying to keep up.
And so you're going to get $300 this? Plus, they're trying to buy four. Right. They're going to get $300 this.
How much money is going to cost you to buy any phone? As cheap as I wanted to. I can go to the store and I can go to the store and I can go to the cheap as shit that you have. But also in your head you need to realize you are going to be using this for the next six months at least.
I have never in my life bought the cheapest thing in the store. Don't do it now. Because the cheapest thing in the store is the cheapest thing in the store for a reason. Right?
So I compare that. I compare that. I'm just saying. It's a device that's going to make me communicate with people all over the world.
Yeah, you do need to use this every day, at least the next six months, a couple of longer. Because we can't use a new product. I can get the cheapest one. The cheapest one?
The cheapest of the cheapest. Not the shit that you were like. You don't have this. But something that is a cheap phone that is unlocked.
That is a fucking smart phone. Exactly. Exactly. Yeah.
Because we still, because that money is still coming out of the road. Yeah. You're going to get the cheapest two away phone that has an okay processor. Okay.
You don't need to fast. It's a fucking photo. Well, you don't have to question what is the fastest processor for the cheapest money. Oh, I did.
That's a great way to ask it. Because that obviously doesn't mean you're going to need the nicest processor. I'm a good person. And I will keep letting it up.
That's the best. Thank you. It's a good flowman. All right.
You caught it. All right. All right. I actually was not intending to give.
I said something and then I understood that it could be perceived as a joke. So use that excuse. Yeah. That is a very common self-defensive thing.
Exactly. Because we were afraid that I was going to perceive it wrong. Or perceive it wrong. I'm glad that I expressed that.
I don't know. I express it so weird. Maybe I'm trying to remember. And I'm like.
Why did you just pretend to tell? Because, you know, it's a good fear. It's a fucking fear. Do I project you that I think of you as somebody you need to hide from me?
It's a fear of what I might have been a pristine desk. Right. I don't think. I'm just making a statement.
It's on a selfish level. It's on a level like I'm not worried about what you've been saying. I'm not worried about what you've been thinking. I'm not worried about what you think about that.
I'm worried about is this good enough. Does my fear? Is what good enough? Who am I good enough?
Is this good enough for what I'm trying to accomplish? Because why does that again? No? It's all understand.
Why does that make you go through your head? Like every conversation. That doesn't mean you're president. That means you're not president.
That's it. That means you know what does that mean? That's the brain that spins off. and even more when I'm growing up.
I understand. This is what happens. This is what I live my life. I have to understand what it's not.
That's why I have to analyze it, I feel like. You don't have to analyze it. I have to understand that also. But I think that comes from a different understanding of things.
I feel like this is new enough for, you know, it's hard to explain that also, because it spins off, very often I catch myself sticking something way past where we are in the conversation.