he's the dirty alien and he lives in the culture and cries his life for where he doesn't know what to do, or say he's lonely. Comes on his dick won't take long, it's just odd dog's got that long He's got a tiny winky air, and he wants you to smell his cheesy whisky tip del endangered Ricky that snare of cheese but I am very sad, I've come down round to this place Yeah, I'm got a dad, that's something still when I go home I think hello, I mean this is for mouth Who are both? Have a good day. Hello everyone.
Are we talking to people now? Yes. Hello everyone. Hello, I mean, I poo poo mouth.
I thought you said before. I did say that, but I was just doing a sound test and it's unfair as usual. It's cruel and unfair of you to use that. That's what you were like.
Yeah, I'm looking for an idea. I'm like reaching around for an idea. What can we do to start with the cold open? And then I do something self-deprecate.
Yeah, jump in there. Fuck that wound. Shit in that wound. So the wound up with a rusting needle.
I see you. Smudge it all and make sure the poo really goes in the wound. And sit on it. Like a goblin.
You ever seen that film? You've got a goblin bum bum. Have you ever seen that film? Have you ever seen Dave Cronenberg's Crash?
That's one of the ones I haven't seen. That film is how I treat your wounds. I fuck them. That is my job here.
Brilliant, Paul. Brilliant. I'm not having a great start of the week, everyone. I woke up and chipped my tooth.
Yeah. We had already been chipped from a very long standing injury, where I was playing a resties, King of Agamendnon, on a drama tour. He would have been a good car, he would have been a good car, wouldn't he? Why would he be a good round-ups and bad guys when a resties?
A resties. I'm liking that. The place the orange star. That was like Bruce Forsyth.
Oh, it's not. Oh, it's not. Oh, it's not. Well, it's not.
Go on, give us another little Greek thing. I'll do it. No. I want to tell them a story about when I chip my tooth.
Either puss, or either cat. I'd like to either puss. It's not going to happen to them. It's not going to happen to them.
It's not going to happen to them. It's literally the fucking clip. We're getting any leg. I don't know.
I'm having a whistling e-like chip my clique. Fuck that. Anybody want to go to the tea show? I hate you and your fucking noodle posse.
People love noodles. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. I'm going to go.
We do sound quite quickly. We really did do sound quickly. No, I broke it. Running off stage at the end of the second act.
Hello, what was the cheap show? Continue your story. Running off stage at the end of the second act. We were touring the play.
Yes. Which we done at the boarding school theatre. But this was like the first day. We just arrived in a new space.
The space was the auditorium was underneath a staircase in a modern German school. Oh, weird. It was sort of like a 4A area with a stage with a staircase going on. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah. So there's a slant coming outwards to your stage space. Basically. So the further back stage.
So I rush off to kill my mother. It's a very dramatic thing. The end of the life for it now. My mother in the play.
Quite good. Who is called mother? I think it is. Oh, really?
Anyway, so I'm used to there being space for me to run off and obviously there was no space for it. There was the bottom slant of a concrete staircase. It was very brutalist actually kind of think of it. So you know, that and the injury.
It just goes to prove that I love brutalism even though it's done me wrong. And I know it's smashed your face. It smashed my face. And again, now I've had like at least three different repairs of this tooth.
And now it's popped off again. It's really like we were saying Paul. Having issues with you too. issues with you too obviously effect your vanity because it makes me look like a scraggle tooth terrible scraggle tooth what was that guy called Jiminy Fox what was he called?
Oh he was a fucking guy. Those things are Jiminy Fox. No what was he called? Snaggle tooth.
Yeah but there was another guy. Will look what was he called he had from what? What's the origin first? Well it seems a book and nursery rhyme.
What was like a 70s children's TV character. Right like a words or gomage. A bit like that. Cat weasel.
That's the one. That's the one. I didn't think we were gonna get there. Well done.
Cat weasel. Maybe I don't remember too much about cat weasel other than its name and pop culture and this. Yeah beard and sort of yeah I feel like a grunty anyway. Yeah so it affects your vanity.
Yeah fuck. And also it makes you think oh the body the body just did it with us. Along with this extreme grey day alert that we're having today. Yeah.
It's a grey day alert in London today. It's a day in London town. My mood hasn't been great. No I'm sorry.
I know. I'm just coming like a trap a lady's clitoris. That's horrible. Luckily you're never going near one anytime soon so you're safe you'll have your tooth fixed by then.
Will it smell of onions? Look I hope for the best for you. It reminded me when I did my injury to an RN brush show. Remember that?
You got concussion didn't matter. Yeah it's a similar because again there was like the curtain going across the pole back of all of this venue which isn't necessarily always a stage space and there's a tiny door. Not tiny door but it was lower because the stage was higher right? Lower than you were used to it.
Yeah so that door you know is hidden by a curtain and we kind of got used to where it was but after I had that sketch where I was the common one it was was I a money or something. No it was a sketch before that and I tried to race out the back and I kept my head down and just misjudged where the door was by a good couple of inches and ran fast into that brick wall and I remember going backstage seeing Graham look concerned because everyone heard the crack. It sounded like you know cricket ball on willow and then willow and then I looked at him turned through up in that little sink. That's a concussion.
Yeah and all the areas were the symptoms put my mummy costume on for the next and there was blood pouring down from the thing. It was literally blood pouring out. It just looked like a mummy costume. The mummy costume and then I didn't see fresh blood on a mummy.
That would be wrong. I did that show. You did and you were quite badly concussed. That should have been a bit of a discussion.
Definitely. You know that's I had a massive lump didn't I bet for ages. Yeah. But you remember that sketch that I can never remember the poltergeist sketch.
You remember the coffee. No that was even more disastrous after I had concussions because frankly I felt sorry for Adam in that sketch because I think he was looking at me going he's dying tonight right now. You really had to struggle with the lines in that sketch so badly it used to crack me up man. I remember because I had them I knew them.
Do you know what I mean by the end of the process. Yeah. And we all had our moments of forgetting all lines. I forgot where I was meant to be on stage completely and blamed you for it.
I've done that more than once. The great thing about that is that episode was caught on film forever which is on our YouTube channel. Yeah. And it's got that lovely bit where you're like fucking Al Paul Lion.
All three of us backstage like no this is your fucking mate. This is all on you. There's something about when someone thinks they're in the right you know what I mean. But they're quite obviously not.
Yeah. No this week on cheap show and every other week. Right. So what we keep show.
What we got coming up on this week Paul on cheap show. I guess it's time to go. Is it illegal snacks? Is it illegal snacks?
Is it just not illegal snacks? Is it just a Christmas section? No. Mate.
What are we doing? It's cheap. It's I guess it's cheap. It's a section known as cheap.
It's where we taste strange food. Yeah. Cheap food. All sorts of snack products.
Nut flavoured nuts. Yeah. Salty nuts. Pretzels.
Pretzel type products. Sweet. Broken pretzels. Oil sweets.
Chewets, chewies, gummies. But not drinks because drinks is for the soda is for juicy Jeremy in this jerk. I haven't heard sight or sound of Willy Wanker in months now. I think he's a we're just sourcing this stuff ourselves now all these cheap stuff because he's just gone.
Well, he only did the sweet stuff. He was the member of the froff shop. Yeah. No.
No, no, no. No, he was the froff shop guy. Wasn't he? Which we because he was obsessed with.
I mean, I think maybe he's just gone to some kind of country where they think he's like getting rehab for his animal sex addiction. It's bestiality problem. Yeah. He could be bestiality in show.
Don't know why I said that. But I just had to get out my brain. Bestiality in show. Yeah.
Like dogs. Like a porn. A porn version of the Chris Bgett movie. Yes.
Yeah. But a horrible, horrible, horrible. Do you remember Paul when I do remember Paul when you're a. Hello, me.
Hello you. It's a fucking figure of speech at school. What is the figure of speech? Think about that.
What is the thing of speech? Of speech. No, it's very thin at the top. It's the middle of the word.
Yeah. Middle of the word. Well, it's a little bit. Yeah.
And then it gets all big. So I think of any word such as pop it's for example, right? That's a thing. Yeah.
Oh, oh, oh, you see, oh, I've very round bit. Oh, and then that's a nice, nice little calf like ankle of the word. Altis. A cute little.
It's the cute little toes. So say with me. Oh, you're listening at home. Why not doing it with Eli?
As he points, he fucking says Pultis over and over again. Let me have three times. Pultis. Pultis.
Pultis. Pultis. Peace pudding. That's a weird one as well.
But do you remember at school, there was always talk of this porn show used to have a format. There was always talk of this porn film called Animal Farm. Do you remember? Yes.
That was ubiquitous. I think in every school heard that story of the animal farm. But was it apocryphal or was there an actual film called Animal Farm? I would presume yes.
So, for me, since we started the podcast, my mucus started to produce. It's a reaction to you. Your voice makes me produce mucus at both ends. Okay.
So I'm just going to move on. So, yeah, we have a cheap eat today and we have a, I guess it's a Ganon Golden Games, but it's more of a Paul's pastimes. Paul's pastimes. I think Ganon's Golden Games should be for classic board games.
I always think of a Golden Games as being a board games only. And so when we do things like what we've got planned, they're not really in the same league, are they? No, it's not something else. The card games or yeah, those are parlour games or whatever.
Parlour games. Paul's parlour pastimes. Paul's parlour pastimes. I like that.
Paul's pastimes. Paul's partridge. Paul's putting. Paul's piece pudding.
Paul's putting. Paul's putting. Paul's putting. Paul's putting.
Do you know piece pudding wasn't a proper pudding? I don't even know what piece pudding is. It is like a fucking meat gravy thing. Is it?
It's like a gravy pouch. Nothing about piece pudding says meat to me. It's like dried chickpeas or something. And then you get lots of lamb fat.
So, it's like a lamb fat pouch. Well, I'm not talking this out. I don't know what you're talking about. I'm making it up totally.
I don't know the phrase lamb fat pouch. So, piece pudding hot, piece pudding cold. You have it both ways. Just like mucus.
Yeah, both ends. You don't have mucus at both ends. Yes, you do. You have rectum mucus.
I'm sorry to bring it up and go like your tip. You ding, lee, tip. That's not mucus. You call that mucus?
This is a mucus. Can I? You call that spark? Now that's a spark.
That's a fucking spodger spark. Yeah, that was a crocodile on the wheel avoided. What's the point of version of that? Probably.
That's probably a porn version. Dick dik dik dah, con pussy. When you just say dick dik dik dik pussy, it's not really a play on words is it? Dick dah dah pussy too.
No, they're probably Crocodile Hundley or Crocodong Dopdick Dopdick Dip Dip Dip Dip Dip you skip the necessary steps to get from a sentence to nonsense just call it DICK DICK DICK DICK down under! Big dick down under in the bush! Oh, like give us a poem, film the closed count of the third kind, okay. Close and count of the third burglar kind.
Alright, that's not good it's not really that. I'm using. Oh Fanny encountered me. Here we go attempt by attempt.
He just This is actually I love this game. I love this game. Fanny encounters with the beaters Is another one then all right, okay, never say never again a barnfield go on make that funny in your little way Fanny say funny again. I'm gonna say Fanny say Fanny again You got to beat me to the punch there Paul.
Yeah, all right Oh Okay, well, okay come down Henry portrait of a serial killer Fanny driller Henry porn traits of a family thriller I'm funny about fanry as a man isn't the fan we right you know what that's about We do cheap and this game I know And that's cheap and that is cheap it is the section of the show where we eat cheap things things that are cheap or certainly competitive Yes Doritos so there Doritos but with now pizza flavoring on top Doritos of course the most Relific of the tortilla chip and the fakest the weirdest or two corners the same difference they are corn chips They call them corn chips are Corn chips is a pack. Yeah, so yeah, they're on you. So tears and with those little little for dippins No tortilla is a oh, it's the rap thing. Yeah, they make soft tacos out of whatever So do you eat those with two flavors out triple cheese pizza and the other one it's even pre-opened by a naughty person Not me blame my partner who I said don't touch them there from the podcast and I went to work and came back in the bag was Off so you went straight loaded pepperoni pizza flavor now loaded and those called loaded as well No, these are just triple cheese pizza weird.
So I've had them. I've had a few of them I'm a meaty pizza. Yeah, and one is a cheesy pizza because I've had these already let's get these out the way because the back's open Okay, I'm gonna give it a shake so you can survive the half on those dry ones It's giving it a proper shuffle and I'm looking in dead in the eyes looking at the eye and he's shuffling those clips This is an erotic moment actually Slow and steady is gonna build up speed. Oh, he's build up.
Oh, he's going for longest strokes everybody He's really getting those high particles going right release the half into your nose What you're getting that's quite strong salami and oregano smell I'm getting you definitely get a kind of a Porky smokey porky thing. I know that but then it finishes off with a little bit of the yeah the herb oregano Yeah, fine fine. Yeah, not off putting because I often find the dust things on Doritos too much They can be very sort of thick and just rather have my Doritos plain honestly I just have a plane corn chip I would as well and it's fucking weird you can't find them like you buy some salsa We buy some bakamod I'd be lovely with a lovely salty regular plain corn chip. You can't fucking find it anyway They also buy these no, but the reason is do now do a plain corn chip.
I know they're just not prolific as these No, do you know? I just want to blame one port. I'm glad we brought that up because it's important point important point So yeah pepperoni, but they seem to be going the other way with these more complicated flavors You know what the worst of retos was for me the chili heat wave which was that one artificial chili and over sweet and it's like that coating Like you say too much flavor dust on it's also pretty similar to what's it flaming hot monster munch? It's the same profile to me that whole month sweet tomato each of these I've got one over here It's time to try the pepperoni during so it's fine.
It's a bit too sweet for me, but does it give you an essence of pizza? Yeah, it's very similar to those pizza bits whatever they were called back in the day pizza pizza pizza Not bits of pizza. We work we've tasted them, you know and here's oh we had that pizza here flavor. Yeah And it's why I see why I dipped them in a fudge.
Yeah, I'm scared for about that fact You know I can't remember what I called they were much nicer It's very similar to that artificial sort of pizza flavor. It's funny because I think this really does suffer from what you said Which is just too much. Yeah too much flavor. It's it becomes overwhelming and almost sort of sickly almost You know what it is there's a bit of cheese in there because it's a pizza so whatever but as a result you get this sense of like Renet yeah glooping Parmesan a heavy kind of acidic cheese Yeah, and then you've got the tomato sauce and then that's smokey beef and basically what comes up into for me is that kind of There's almost like eating a tennis spaghetti hoops.
It's too. It's too overwhelming. There's too much of the dust. There's too much flavor going on I mean still not awful.
They're not awful. I'm not a few I had quite a few just now and they're fine You can pound them. I'd pound them but I wouldn't I would never if I was thinking oh I need to buy some Doritos I'm never gonna go down. I'm gonna put those out because you want a Dorito to be something idly you can dip in your Basically the reason why you have a corn chip is because you're you're relying on the flavor of your dip not the chip The chip is just the delay.
No, but that's what they've done Is they've managed to take the corn chip and turn it into something where they can deliver these flavors You see what I mean? Well, you don't need a dip you can have it just as a snack with a sandwich or something and people and especially in Britain I think the culture is the single pack of crisps that goes with lunch or goes with your You know the mink lunch and I don't think another part of the world the potato chip culture isn't like that I couldn't pop in North America. It's all big bags sharing or you know what I've got in the other room Well, I've got some of those hers Reaper giant. What's it's I'll let you have some later.
Yeah, right Let's do this other one and this is the triple cheese now. This might be better because it might be more of a sort of one note It's getting foot. Yeah coming off the heart. It's giving a me a face.
I'm really live in the cheese Whoo footy foot foot. Yeah, it's very much so very much so. Oh, yeah, they're cheesy. Can I go for it tangy?
It's got an or it's got a cheesy tang. You haven't tried these ones. No, no Hmm, they're very like those, but they just have that they don't have that porky notes No, it's a place with a cheese, but the oregano at the end is the same. There's something weird going on with it I'm gonna bear with me.
It's like mint. It's like a mint or a minty mentholi thing going on Let me have a look. Let me have a it's the oregano you're tasting It's the sage that must that can be only maybe have one now and try and find that mint that kind of I don't know teapoo or mentholi Minthing go on the background. Am I wrong?
No, it's like a blue cheese. Yes, that's it Yeah, that's weird It's the triple cheese one that cheese is a blue or or like a soft one of those rich soft weird because it kind of not minty tangy But anyway, could you describe it? It's just weird kind of it is you're getting it because it's almost cooling It's almost cooling in the way that mentholists that blue cheese taste, you know, I mean I'm a dissing away of the blue cheese. Which ones you prefer then loaded pepperoni or the triple cheese very hard to say I wouldn't be with them out.
Which one do you think I'd probably go with the pepperoni because it's slightly less kind of strange with that strange Yeah, why don't you point that out to me? I'm like, oh it gives it a weird flavor profile that it throws it off Where's this one's a bit more predictable, but at least normal. Yeah around the ring the mouth that flavor It's rounder in the mouth rather like my extended bell and spherical bell and It's just time for nonsense, isn't it? spherical then lend enters the mouth Is he popping off?
It's gone the pop-bop and my mouth is gone As a friend if you don't have a second fucking chip tooth I'd shut your fucking mouth right now. Oh, he's bringing it up shut your pie hole Okay, it's time for our next point. Just acts now. You like you got these you can explain it I was in one of my favorite parts of the local area Which is the indoor market in the wood green shopping shopping mall and they have a Caribbean food thing.
Yeah, shop within yeah And they always have interesting stuff. We've had lots of stuff we tasted in there drinks such as drags Remember so yeah, no, I know my stuff from there Ting things like that and you get lovely sources of course all the hot sources there and they do Focus me because you just look at me there and your eyes got wider and wider as if you're kind of I'm losing this pick a pepper is that so it's called that we tried maybe I pick a pepper or two or I saw these I was up there for a different reason by saw these I thought oh I've not seen these before they look like monster Monchon knockoffs what they call Bigfoot Bigfoot Bigfoot is a monster isn't it? He's a sasquatch or a yeto what's the brand company called they are called holiday and what the flavors we have cheese Bigfoot Which is unfortunate because you think of an unwatchy head podcast today Does he or wash I know just behind cloth if these have been called big cock and cheese flavor that'd be even worse well They're making grocery stores do often have that cock soup don't they yeah packets which people send us pictures of online a lot Cock soup Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's always like a lot of all you see this cock soup funny funny We have actually so that we love you all and we do enjoy your interactions on Twitter Don't send us pictures of cock with that which is right. Go on to the flavor Bigfoot spicy slightly Again, it'd been called bellens big bellens spicy Give me one of those party I'm not engaging in that sentence and they are corn and they seem to be in the shape of feet Which actually one of those one of the monster much is a big monster's foot isn't it?
No, that was the myth wasn't it was like oh they're feet or they're paw prints But apparently they're not they're the kind of outline of their body So you really honking monsters the middle two things are the feet and the other two on the outside of their arms and it's a big Oh, there weren't any feet in there. No according to them. I mean they changed their story a lot They don't know I found out that Chris manufacturers don't offer a load of fucking They lie they walkers go it's always been blue for this and no no I know but like then they go the mythology the Mandela effective it all we're gonna Yeah, I like my mother you want to start with I see you do my go spicy. Yeah, and I'll go cheesy I'm gonna give it a quick shake in a book.
I'm gonna live in up give it a little nastolage and live in up the half half particles I can't smell fucking shit. No, it smells like like an empty bag. It's weird It's you have a smell because I can smell fucking nothing. It doesn't smell like a crisp to me.
It's my old out I can't smell anything you're that one. No, it's the same. I can't smell fucking shit much coming off It's a chemical thing. Yeah, all right chemical and but these spicy ones are red and these are quite orange So, you know, they've dusted to the plenty and they are feet.
They're quite pleasing shape Yeah, we'll have folks of these available obviously I'm gonna take a spicy at the end of the day. I'll go the cheesy though. Well, that is quite spicy Oh, that has got a kick, baby You might like these better maybe because there's not much going on with these at all the cheese is so faint as to be an afterthought This is faint at first. It's not much at the top, but it starts to build up at two and I'm actually getting some waterworks coming on Oh, I've got now spicy cheese Is it spicy cheese?
Oh, yeah, it says oh, yeah, it's a little tingling of heat. Well, these are much better Yeah, no these are much better not in a vast way, but at least they've got a flavor kick in there's that little bit of chilli at the back Which is welcome, you know what? I'm on the cheese ones. I don't mind those They're quite like they're almost like a halfway stage between a what's it and a monster much in terms of texture Yeah, they're softer than a monster munch.
They haven't got that sharp brittle. Yeah, I quite like that I don't mind the texture being a bit off what I would say is I don't care if the cheese one because there's nothing there But those spicy ones they got a kick they got a kick I would give them about five or three in a bit I prefer those to the Doritos actually yeah, you know me, but then that's because they overdo the flavor It's just too much and also once you know that triple cheese ones once you notice that what you thought was meant Yeah, sort of a blue cheat must be a blue cheese flavor. I've been noticed that it's quite unpleasant Isn't you know, do you know the minute has that sense of this is that a vomit aftertaste in my mouth It's also sort of a spa time sort of sweetness. It has I just don't want to be mal-fucked by big cheese That's it really anyway, the next crisp you also found in the same shop Like these are called cottos and these are interesting because they're called cherry berries and they're sweet They're a sweet snack because it's a what flavor on the back corn meal sugar Vegetarian the name of the crisp I think Just says cherry berries.
Yeah, but that is berries and cherries. I know what specifically they put in there cherry berries just a strawberry flavor Yeah, we're they're called cherry berries, but this strawberry flavor Yeah, so maybe there's a couple of the rasset or whatnot fiddling with the flavor profile I'm a bit of a wild sweet crisp on this channel. I think the last one was years ago. We did those walkers strawberry Yeah, crisps were they Japanese?
I think they were like they were like Hong Kong or something Singaporean They were limited edition they love sweet crisp in that part of the world Yeah, these are going up from Jamaica and you don't expect is there a candy sort of half coming off? You know it smells like it smells like the pink layer of a metropolitan ice cream. Oh, yeah, which is their strawberry is it artificial Strawberry flavor. Oh my oh, that's over well.
It's quite powerful compared to the other half. It's half we've had all day That is an impressively stringent. Oh fucking this does not bode well. Well, go on Hit it open it but your first bite see what the color they look they could be if you said that was like a red hot Yeah, yeah, it's the same kind of flaming hot snack or if you said that dropped off my granny's tip That's a granny's tip snack.
Oh, that's sickly weird. What texture is it? Is like a monster monster. It's exactly the same.
Yeah, like a corn like any kind of generic corn snack. Right here we go sweet Sing it along with me. I don't like that. I don't like that in my mouth It's got a coconut flavor.
Can you take the coconut flavor? Yeah, oh, I think coconut and strawberry just overlap in terms of chemical sort of It's not the problem is I don't find that they're not awful. They're not like they're not a satisfying snack It's like you don't want to have your sweetness delivered that way, you know, I wonder if there's a tinnabiscuits Like they had some of these in amongst them like party rings and stuff. They'd fit in there better because the profiles It's just a novelty thing really isn't it?
It's got these pink pants away for things going on definitely But I never noticed before how much the artificial strawberry flavor overlaps with artificial coconut flavor Mmm, you're giving that and you hadn't seen the packet and they said that was coconut flavored You might not even think it was strawberry. No, I think that was strawberry. I wouldn't have gotten that confused with coconut So sweet very sweet much like handy flossy. Yeah, but I like the actor tastes more than the sensation of eating the snack There's something in Congress.
There's something that sort of doesn't feel right about that texture with the sweetness It's like your your fight is fighting your brain. Yeah, you can't quite grasp it. Yeah, that texture I want with something meaty or something or marmius. Yeah, it becomes a kind of Frankenstein-y snack Yeah, it's a bit like sweet popcorn.
Well that sweet and salt popcorn. Yeah, you know, I like that church and state It's one or the other I don't want to get involved with mixing the two off Isn't it funny how that developed from going to the cinema and they always have the sweet and salt next to each other and there's always a bit of cross over People liked that people liked it. It's like that came from it's like maybe and because of a lot of sick people in this country now that's a thing So what's your favorite? I would say for the loaded pepperoni pizza Doritos three, I agree I'd also give that maybe a little bit less 2.5.
I'm gonna say two for the triple cheese loaded pizza pizza Doritos cherry berry. What do they? They're very strange cherry berry. Very very very Two for you big for spicy cheese for yeah, I can say on those yeah, and I didn't mind the other big for either I'll go three point five.
I'll just give it a three nothing offensive but at the same time nothing remarkable But for a cheap snack I want to look big feet big foot one pound thirsty for two bags. All right, that's not too bad It's not too bad. It's a normal package dish these days is 85 P. Yeah, yeah, you know, you're all packet of walkers is 85 today This time day well you get grab exercises to kind of water at the price like a little bit more even so shrinkflation, isn't it?
That's what happens mine on here we go Go on I said I'm shitty shitty mouth silverman with my poo poo face and all the shit comes through the gap my teeth Oh, it's liberal. What stop I just thought you might have something good to do instead You just said what you've been saying throughout the whole of this thing with shit mouth silverman with my gash face Yo, but that's a fucking t-shirt now Before we go on to your parlour pastime paul's parlour pastimes. What is a parlour game? Why was it called a parlour?
What is a parlour? Is it like a larger? No, it wasn't a parlour a room in a house where people gathered I guess it was like the living room of it today, but you know when I've been to a house that someone's had a parlour hasn't happened a lot But it's just like the lobby. I don't know anything in there.
I don't know Is that right wing website thing isn't it as well? M parlour? No parlour is it yeah? I don't know it's a Twitter thing isn't that just Twitter?
Oh Paul's parlour pastimes it's Paul's political part of times and I'm Paul Like parlour game for you today, mr. Silverman. Can I ask one question one more question by all means mr Silverman I look forward to the goal that's about to spill out of your fucking shit mouth. Don't call my mouth shit I'm the only one who calls my mouth shit whistling silverman shit gob.
Don't please don't say that whistling silverman's gash mouth Am I actually making a whistly old man noise with my tooth? No, but I'm I had you do now fucking hate you I look like snaggle tooth and you can't weasel snaggle to you look like your mouth is doing a very good impression of a cat's ass Listen right so I'm perfectly prepared to peruse To me this is not add the whistle. I'm gonna do anymore. I need to get a sound after pay attention.
I perfectly Prepare to peruse yeah into your parlor right to parable a round your parlor and perhaps partake in a pastime with me in your parlor Ting ting ting ting ting ting ting ting ting ting ting pull polar past time to ting ting ting ting ting ting ting ting ting ting ting ting ting ting ting ting ting ting ting ting ting ting ting ting ting ting ting ting ting ting ting ting. You can't just nick my dream theme because you like it. Oh well we have going to do a dream segment again next time I have a dream back about shooting myself. What happens nightly was that real?
Sometimes imagine someone had put a poo in a parlor you peek into the parlor There's a pool and a plate and the parlor. There's a lot of p-words perhaps pee on the poo with a parlor I would pee I would piss one in our falsies mate and here's what we're doing Soften the poo poo in the parlor with piss and then the cat won't have it I found this long time ago in a muzzle hill chariot shop I think it was oxfam and they had a thing here called the dialema game and it's from a place called the school of life Which has a website school of life. Oh god Here's a book about living calm and happy and all right 25 quid for a book. I hate to stop you there.
I know what the school life is do you remember that fucking prick? It was on TV It's a philosopher like a populist philosopher. Oh, Alan the Bhutan. You heard of him He rings about and it's all like how to be happy or all of this he has a YouTube channel.
Yeah that YouTube channel really It's the school that has objectionable fucking videos really yeah like stuff that is just personal opinion like why is all? He had one at particularly early and it's the same school of life. It definitely is the one of the Smurch what was the other Alan The Bhutan or as I know him Alan the big bum bum. Oh god.
You're your witt is genuinely all in time He saw I did a video about modern art and I've white so shit and stuff like that why is everything so shit, right? Yeah, I just objected to I thought that's not true That's just your opinion and all this stuff and he has this or tone as if as if it's really insightful and profound what he's found out When it's just spewing just so big basically conservative sort of take on aesthetics, right? Yeah, which is just baseless and shit and I thought I hate that video. I fucking hate that video Who's this what's all of life thing and then one of our youtuber I follow big Joel?
Yeah, sort of a left-wing Youtuber did a thing where he took them down. I was like, yes, someone else knows how fucking terrible this is Wow, what are they gonna be into this? Oh boots on I'm coming for you Your boo boo let me just let me just make a podcast Fucking no Life is a global organization helping people eat more fulfilled lives fuck you it is a resource for helping and understanding ourselves For improving our relationships our careers and our social lives as well as for helping us find calm and get more out of leisure Hours I want to be personally wealthy and my name is Alan the fake philosopher boots on anyway This is the game the dilemma game in life We are regularly faced with dialogue and it's complex everyday problems Which there are no obvious answers when a friend confesses to having a third we keep their secret when a colleague has terrible bread Do we let them know in such moments we long for some good advice to help us find a way forward that a letter game invites you to flex your moral muscles And compare your problem solving skills with those of your family and friends players must propose different solutions to common Dilemmas using analogies or drawing on real-life experiences to explain their answers It's a fun and in a light anyway of practicing for the inevitable quandaries of life the other thing that kind of gets me about the whole approach It's like how to live more fulfilling lives Yeah, as long as you're wealthy to a certain extent it had an emphasis their better way to use our leisure time some people don't because they're poor Alan do you know what I mean? They're poor as all so yeah, because here's the thing a lot of these books go for North I mean this game and it's a sold online for their website 15 quid.
Yeah, I got for one pound 50 in that I can't pack a card. Yeah, fuck him. They're terribly objectionable not all the videos are but some of them Especially ones where they get into aesthetics. I could say or art passion versus duty.
Yeah fuck off how to love your work They're just problematic and especially the kind of neo-liberal bias for one of the better words Right, which I'm getting at this kind of like the assumption that we all have the sort of money basically to take these these steps to improve And it's also this emphasis on asking us to improve our lot by looking inward And then the focus come is again taken away from the fucking catalyst of a fucking us every day It's doing a deal with being in the system, you know what I mean? Yeah, all right. It's all I just find it objectionable It's not for me, but I've told my head. Yeah, I did think of a dilemma where your colleague has bad breath Yeah, yeah, now you wrap it up.
Oh, I don't know what I know I think I just I had a thought over here. Do you want to say this for them? No, I don't say it's all right now. You'll love this I've had coffee in the break everyone top top of my head yeah You wrap up you do tell them they've got bad breath.
I'll you'll wrap it up. Tell me Eli skank mouth silverman exactly what you've got plan now You wrap it up with a little god paulters now You wrap the the telling of this person they have bad breath up in a little compliment Yeah, basically you say I'm gonna want to put my dick in that mouth. You're fired. You are so fucking fired Right good cuz that's a horrible Here's the game You're putting yourself into a highly sexually Situation Anyway, this game is basically about 50 cards each one has a dilemma on a different types like family work Social life all those kind of things and I pick six out three each for us to ask like oh first and give you the first quandary Yes, I'll even let you put the topic to start with you can either go with work social ability or family what would you like to start with?
Let's go for social ability. Thank you, Paul. Right. Here's the question although most of your friends are now happily married and settled with housing I don't know you're still laughing about I just want you to try out First in you my mouth looks like a fucking weasel I just I want you to try to imagine this scenario just try to imagine this scenario So I don't most of your friends are now happily married and settled with housing children You are still single and desperately alone You feel increasing out of place at gatherings and you find you have less and less in common with them You don't want to lose touch But you can't see a way of maintaining a friendship when your circumstance is so different the question is why you like silver?
What would you do? Is that really the standard? Imagine you're lonely and you're single and all your friends have moved on with family try to imagine that you like what you're gonna do That's all it says on the car I'm enjoying this part of the game Can we play sort of titty-winks or marble at the bell end or something? I'm gonna play the dilemma game right breaky like I'll tell you what I do Paul I develop myself and I don't worry about it They don't want to be my friends.
They don't want to be my friends anymore fuck them I'll say tell you what Alan the boot on I don't think you're anything to do this Touch me the boot on just because you've got a fucking oh you got a fucking media empire How do you like it if the boot was on the other footer I thought there would be a bit more of a specific dilemma that's a sort of life-wide trend isn't it you know when you play this you Mentally the bigger group of people will give their piece of advice and then like the question here picks the one that they think is best But that particular card could cause a lot of sort of awkwardness. Yeah, like you were playing Aiming to make you walk with I never feel awkward about you. Gaffshout. I've seen you You know me that could be really awkward if some of those friends who you're drifting apart from actually out in yeah isn't there Yeah, what would I do?
I just be me I mean? I'll be honest though. I sympathize as well. I don't mean a relationship and stuff Yeah, but there's still like most of my friends certainly from like university to my early 20s who I'd had lots of social time We're doing lots of things and that'll move on with families I just don't talk to them anymore and when I do absolutely nothing in common now But it's all looking like baby.
Yeah grow little poor clever clever. I don't give a fuck. I know I know Paul But there's a sort of wider issue here, which I think the car doesn't sort of get out Yeah, it's saying it's saying you drift apart from your married friends if you're single or your friends who have you know children Yeah, but the fact is fuck them men lose friends over their lifetime by the time you reach your 40s It's just natural and a lot of people just shed shed friends They don't have as many close friends as they did. So there was a good article last week literally about how men over 40 tend to have one friend Exactly, maybe not yeah, and they just happy with that.
They just do their own thing. Yeah, they do They don't think they have a family and stuff. So it's linked But you know what I mean? Yeah, it's not just that your single friends get alienated from the ones who've married and settle down Yeah, everyone gets alienated from everyone else and drift apart.
It's a general more general trend Oh, the sucks. So hang on try and hang on to your friends now. I'm lucky in that regard Honestly, I am lucky in that regard I have yeah you who I consider a close friend and I have three or four other close friends Yeah, so that's that's not that's not bad Average is it for the man who's like most of my friends and I'll completely I think I've got you BFO and anyone I work with it I can call friends Yeah, but yeah, you've lost but you're more normal in that way that you've lost friends from from earlier periods in your life Because they've all moved on and got families and whatever whatever, but I just never felt compelled to live that life It's not something I'm that focused on fuck them. Right.
I might question now. Okay. Do you want? I'll give you the choice of the wrong back by the way told that wasn't very that wasn't a very good question All right.
Well, come on. I mean it didn't what would you do? It's like that's not there's not a limited amount of actions you could take is it sort your life out? Yeah, I mean you could say that's meaningless.
Oh, that's me my car I want to more sort of focused the next hope the next one is more focused in lemon on this one so you got relationships work work family Family I hate families Right Right whose memory is failing. Okay has begun to make deeply racist comments. Okay, whenever they attend family gatherings You are offended by their remarks and don't want to let them go unchallenged god. This is all too real man This is all too real.
I was talking my friend the one and sindom about this and his father gone full on til boogie basically Yeah, no, but he brought up like three points first he's racist and he woke this and then he starts attacking the trans It's just like it's like it's like a slow ball of fucking anger. Yeah, GV news just keeps going It's just like weird minds and it's hard people complaining about all that shit I mean, of course they all aren't affected on a regular basis. I don't mean fuck about your opinion anyway Anyway, so they're racist and you can't you get offended when they tend to handle gatherings and their races Yeah, you're offended by their remarks and don't want to let them go unchallenged But you realize they may only be a symptom of their condition. Yeah, and your family are urging tolerance What would you do simple?
I would go round the middle of them every Sunday with a nice tray of cakes and I'd have a chat with them every week Keep them company and just be nice and after about three or four weeks They start to realize something in the cakes and there's like a straight lean or something in it You're slowly killing the murder you're slowly silenced that racist cunt there one knows why they go No, quickly. Yeah, well, that's gonna hide my fucking poison cakes in it We might have to do this week's episode again. I'm just realize this is my opinion. I will kill the Fag me now people when they get older they do tend to lose their faculties they tend to become reactionary Yeah, they tend to shift to the right.
Let's say not everyone by any means. I hope I bloody fucking don't I don't I mean I mean you are you can see me shift is the right already here. No, you can't Nubbing show me Points towards my political affiliation How did you know that I just think there's a falseness here? Oh, go on when he says you may realize they may only be a symptom of their condition I don't think I don't think losing your memory makes you racist or does it reveal the racism that you were suppressed for most of your life?
Yeah, yeah, so that's not it's not an excuse is what I'm saying the more challenge they're racism Maybe I just take the breaks off their wheelchair at the top of a stairs trying to kill this on Oh, granny's gone down You haven't you haven't listen you're gonna murder your old relative. No, it's an accident. It's a That's it's you're right. I'm not gonna murder my nan accident.
Right. I've got you didn't answer that shit I'm winning this. All right. What would you do about it?
I would challenge their racism in public at a dinner party nan stop saying that I think we need to I think that's what we need to do and you need to tell people that it's not Funny foreigners with bla bla bla fucking shut it out now Okay, but don't say anything actually races just I'll try and do the most unracist races comments. I can think of hello granny Oh, guys. Hello granny. Oh, no, it's granny silverman in it because you're my relative.
Yeah. Hello granny silverman Oh, you're joining this join the cakes. Oh, okay. You like the cake.
How you want? Well, don't you like those two moved in next door? Yeah, oh disgusting What they do is gusting about them? Grand you think about what they do?
What do they do? I think about it all the time you think I'll be racist can I you can't challenge me? But I don't want to say a racist thing to prove a point. It's not a funny or something like that.
I Are what where are these people okay? Johnny foreigners? Yeah, you've Johnny foreigners. I hear him next door making be free sound What do you do?
I get angry. I get angry. Oh, yeah, I just think they should be less of them get them out No, I don't find that opinion acceptable granny, and I don't think you should be saying those things You're like a fucking shipmouth How's your symptoms if you're losing your memory and everything who are you? This is gonna be the one that gets us canceled this fucking episode.
I don't know right that will do we got two cards each You can pick one so pick one of these to do you've got the work work or family. Yeah work family as you said Okay, cutbacks at work have meant that you've been given the responsibility deciding which two members of your team should be made redundant Now one of them is a young highly talented and a good employment prospect the other is performing far less well But as we've been the company for years and there's no larger family to support. What do you do? These guys are populated with sad older guys aren't they with no family's games should be called white middle-class man problems Yeah, do you see what I mean about boots on and his fucking bullshit?
It's funny that these things are very middle classy They're not well written. No, they're not there shit. He's making money. I don't know if it's with it I mean, we don't know he's related to this game at all.
We don't know his connection to what we're doing I know he's tangentially associated with it, but what I don't want you people to think is that he's written this game come out I Did a similar one a different a bit more for thought master cannon So what would you do then who would you take the young person or the older person depending on how secure? I felt my position was because I don't want to get end up losing my job for making the wrong side Eli look we need to get rid of Bob or Allen you're safe But the cutbacks mean we got to get to protect your job who got rid of the others I would get a sack of the young person because I think really yeah, because I think he's got a prospect He could always find another job more ability to to restart his career. Okay, where is the sad lonely guy with no family? I feel for I actually feel for him.
You know, and he's obviously a man with no family or friends Yeah, I mean, I don't want to have that on my on my conscience. Oh, okay. I keep that guy So you save yourself basically in more ways than one. Yeah, what would you do?
Okay? Here's what I do invite them into my office one at a time candles champagne potpourri and then I just get it out Yeah, I said good work for your job. I put some music on Yeah, after they started giving you blowers. I'd let them pick Well, they're both there.
Well, it's passing it back and forth with all that idea in it tag team It's just a worst at this one of them comes in Completely and incoherent man when they're coming in The time like Bob when is the music? The old one yeah, oh one first oh I'm just getting comfy Bob you've been with the company for a long time now for two years for 42 years and You may notice around the office they've been talking cutbacks. Oh Be terrible if I got sat I've got nothing No, well, they'll be like because I'm also looking at Alan to go as well, right. Oh, I hate it a little cunt Yeah, but you know he's also has a good turn around lots of clients Turn around like see the back of it like some people he hits his target Oh, I'm sorry about that.
I was trying but I had to go to the dentist to fix my mouth. So Bob I just want to say do you love this job? I love it so much. I'd actually give you a blowing right now Keep it you've fully lost skits to the bar.
No, you know round tears blowy cannon I know always getting people to blow you off. Well, this is your time to say to you what I tell you what I tell you what I Tell you what I'll tell you what I'll give you a blowy. There's no reach around by my action. No, all right Can I do you know is the question though?
This will secure your job. Can I finish in your mouth? I'll make it come out my nose. Okay.
Give you a milk muzzi They call it a little moustache it oh fuck, you know I'm so what you get a milky Okay, fine now, let's imagine that's happened and then yeah, it's a bit about half an hour 45 minutes since Bob's coming I mean you gave me a nice sloppy one okay, and then I know yeah, so Listen do you mind coming to the office for a second? Oh That there's cutbacks going on around the office at the moment I'm gonna make some difficult decisions. Well, I kind of think it's nothing to do mix I've got a high turnover on the whole floor. Yeah, Bob has been here longer and can I just say something he sucks a good dick I can do that.
Can you you seem to I don't know you don't seem to have miles on the clock when it comes to cocksocking. Oh Target, but can you hit this to get very enthusiastic. Yeah, yeah, come on then work for your job I do fire and both how you're not loud. You're not gonna be so terrible because Mandy in accounts wants to move up So get rid of those two cons and I can get Mandy.
You would be far you're Well, then they'd save their jobs Paul coming to the office. Yes now We've had complaints that you buy people come into the office or suck your dick just to save their job and The jobs are a risk-mate You're fired and howdy boy yes, right next one it's time for you to have one you have relationships Yeah, or well, let's do relationships. Okay, right you ready. I am having encouraged your partner or be more open about their desires They've confessed to wish to dominate you sexually all right you love them Yeah, I wish to shame them for their predilection.
Yeah, but the prospect frightens and offense you morally these are the worst cards I've ever seen my mind. I would you do dominate. Yeah, dominate me. I don't mind.
I'd like that You know what I'll address that question you find it morally offensive, but I don't know the cards So you know what does it say again about the moral thing? You love them. Yeah, don't wish to shame them for their other for their predilection. Yeah, but the prospect frightens and offends you morally So it's assuming it's assuming yourself in a place where that would offend you morally So you've got to be in a place of thinking this is a mob I don't you see what I mean how ineffective these are yeah They're terribly written dilemmas or what they're saying is you don't like the idea being dominated by a woman That's your character's arc and I would be like no actually that would get me fucking rock on my hand The woman came anywhere pull what get it out get it out But what was it an interesting dilemma if you just aren't you don't find that morally offensive you know me exactly?
It depends on if you hold that there's an idea with like oh keep everything's open But actually there's a moral inference in most of these questions that they're putting in they're saying you find it abnormal Yeah, that's because they're putting idea is a normality. Do you know what I mean? It's just a very strange position that the card is taking I fucking put a nice bit of strange. Yeah, I wouldn't find it We're gonna defend me morally.
Yeah, it wouldn't and I find it very difficult to put myself in a position where that would yeah And I'm a fright and they might hurt me, but they'll be safe. Well, I got to go for it I'll be like all right love what's the safe word mash all right mash? Okay, so it says there you're frightened. Yeah, then like the discussion is oh a bit uneasy, but what you want to do You love them so you either gonna play this one out.
I'll be the girl and you be you okay, and we've been in relation for a while What's on telly? Oh, well, I was just thinking thank you Well, should turn the TV off and turn me on I don't know in the notes tonight. Come on darling. We have no sex nages I know I just thought I want to explore a few things.
Oh, yeah, well, I was thinking I've got this I've got this costume Oh, yeah, and it's it's like an army costume. I keep talking Officially happening here. I thought the idea is you know like I put you in handcuffs going on and going on I'm turning the telly off Right and the idea is I come in in my salt salt salt short shorty short sergeant shorts my sergeant costume It's a zips on the back of the front. Yeah, you can spy then And then I whip you and I say you dirty boy.
I already you to lick my I Because it's the character playing oh so I just thought I dressed up as a sergeant major Yeah, where's any what my friends are you're not sticking to the card? Well, and then I thought I'd like strap you up. Yeah, and maybe whip you a little bit and then My nails into it really hurt me. Can I scratch my nails into it?
Yeah, and can I chew on your card like a dog toy? I'm actually the dog Can I talk to punch you? Yes, can I come punch your arsehole? Oh, I'm gonna bring it a dog.
I'm gonna bring it a dog. No Greasy fat Circus and then basically we work in a circus. Yeah, yeah clowns leave and he goes Poor you failed at that as well now. What do you do then?
Well, I'm saying I would I find it hard to respond to this because how am I got that far in a relationship? Where we're in love and I don't know that they have this predilections, you know, I mean, yeah, well I don't have an issue with that not with the fact that they have the predilection, but they hadn't come out Presumably we've been having regular sex. Well, maybe what happened was you're sitting there watching TV and you were enjoying the show and like A femme fatale walks into a scene and like punches the good guy heart and you go. Oh, yeah Fuck it like that.
Oh, yeah, what if I fucking contoured you in the mouth of my elbow and then I wouldn't be into that real actual Blood like what so I'm joking you off. I'm also caving your teeth in terrible We did mention the way I thought you're gonna turn it around I might be out for a bit. I might be out for a bit. Well, you know, they call that don't you they call that the baboon because you have a tail Coming out, okay, and you put it at the big bottom.
Yes, and you go I Have tails right there. No, no, see you're on key. They've got the spider monkey. They've got the spider monkey.
They have a booze to actually Yeah, they have big arses and I know that you know our baboon's primates or with their monkeys They've got the big That's a baboon. Yeah, how about one of those fucking going to tell me I'm a dilemma man. Don't want one more dilemma, please What's the one more that we didn't all here we go then quick one This is your last dilemma. Yeah, having always enjoyed So I'm comedy your brother signed up to perform at open my night And you've agreed to act as a test-all in today practice every scene as you suspect big jokes are terrible And you know they're gonna be humiliated on the night.
You want to persuade them to not go through it without hurting their pride What would you do? I would I mean there's no dilemma there for me? I'd say this is not good. This isn't good enough and also I there's things I know about Senate comedy.
Yeah, I Never write gags. You never you never wrote something you made to do it. They shut up You never start you never start in stand-up comedy by writing a bunch of jokes and then they work immediately you have to learn the craft It's something right on stage essentially don't you you craft the jokes on stage? You might have the idea of stage and write that down But it's never ready as soon as you you know even gags myths people do just one liners I'm sure they still they have to hone those through life.
Yeah, because they have to get as many words out of that joke as possible to make it work, right? So you are getting there's so again It's badly written and it doesn't it's it's it's showed a lack of actual experience of how these things work in the real world I tell you I've got some jogs for you because you're me cousin. I thought I run these jobs past you and see see what you think Okay, that's fine. I've done some of these.
Oh, I thought you'd be a big inspiration So I thought you're fucking a couple of jokes for you. What's the first way I say I say I say that none's got no clit Oh, what do you what how does she smell then with a fucking mouth? How about that? I don't know Something like that another one who's there for fuck off Bobby?
I don't think come on. I got another one for you I say I say I say I don't I'm not with a one leg name gas coin. Oh, yeah, it's good. That's not good guy Yes, I don't think you should do that.
I'm fucking tell me this in my dream. That's my fucking dream I'm sorry Bobby, but you need to come up with some better Englishman in Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a Restaurant right and the English will walk up and goes I would like to order Tandori chicken, okay, and then the action walks up and it goes I would like to order I also tend to eat chicken both of the ten and just got to go up at all those tandori chicken It's a toy restaurant and there's a limited menu and so they didn't want the eggs So they just got the tandori chicken and then why don't they want eggs? There's the only egg fried rice on the menu outside of this so it does Chinese food and Indian food Just do two meals you egg fried rice and I think I'm gonna think I'm gonna think so the restaurant called dogs No Paul has checked out Anyway, I'll pay for this and the action says no put your money away I'll pay for this and the Englishman suppress his ball for the other voices and makes them both paid for his meal That's a bit politics isn't it? You see because the Irishman never do never do never do comedy Could you stop coming around here, please go home Bobby and rethink your life?
Do you want one last dilemma? I was gonna get a job on GB news because we stand up crazy It's not good. Yeah, fuck me. I don't let's fucking go to get a guest spot next week now one more for you Quick one then okay a colleague of work who is otherwise perfectly charming suffers from terrible breath Ha ha ha seem unaware of the problem But numerous other colleagues have begun to comment on it and joke about it behind their back It doesn't seem to be a way of letting them know that doesn't deeply hurt and embarrass them.
What would you do? It's simple I don't tell you what past it you take what you go fuck you know? What's the fuck you got? Who's eating a shit?
Who's eating a big grizzly turn? Who's got shit? Is it you like you shit? Anyway, why are you Bobby still?
Bobby still? That's what I do. I don't know. They go back.
I'll be like oh yeah, I do. I'll be like No, no, no, go on Nigel. In those circumstances if you do have to work closely with this person Yeah, and it's gonna go on and on and on you just have to deeply hurt and embarrass them or you say Merry Christmas I've got you eight thousand bags of tiktoks. No, there you go.
See those indirect things don't work people don't pick up on that You actually have to turn your mug Nigel. It's got a face on it with a big smile and a dog turn inside the mouth And it's funny and it's really nice I've written your name about it And then when you like pour hot water in it puts a nice breath mint in the mug instead and it looks like it's got a mint now Like I said, I'll go back to my statement from before you say I would like to introduce penis to your mouth But I won't put it in there because it might wilt I'd like to kiss you and I a job But I'm afraid my teeth would jump down my throat to escape This has been the worst segment of the show. No, it's not It's been the best because I have shown you that I'm the most moral poor. Yeah, I'm a serious note Don't you think these are badly written see major?
I just We did giving it a mark see minus yeah No, it was a note they really are terrible and lots of point of this It's all those things they get out in like social groups when everyone sits in a circle when they go Okay, let's talk about this now. You're gonna play this at the pub. Oh, the party or with family It's just terrible. This is terrible awkward fucking game to play pissed at the post a bunch of crap They're just it's a fucking content mill.
That's what this fucking the stool of life is Craig knows all about that You get cuz craig's wife you just like I'm about a bit What did you do about it Craig? That's right? She left you didn't actually couldn't fucking be a man Yeah, it'd be horrible to all that stuff and all of you're a friend of a shit moral compass wasn't there quite a pop like me Yeah, you really are but I do it for comedy. I don't really have those beliefs I don't really want to kill the only you want to fuck dogs.
Oh, he's doing his nose Now do you remember they used to be quite a popular dilemma game that I think a man was it a book that Mando You know she was behind from the 80s So we'll show you guys after the break It's the wrap up time the bit the podcast that says there's two or three minutes to go But it's mostly admin so you can stick around or go now It's up to you before you go. Yeah, any questions just go to the cheap show go to dot uk Everything's there links to episodes links to videos links to the merch pages for various artists who help support us links to events magazine And our patreon patreon.com forward slash cheap show Give what you can but only if you can and you access to extra podcasts and videos in the month and the magazines that come out quarterly Kind of thing events doing a four-part horror story right now about our halberd story Which has not been released only to our patrons looks amazing though fucking looks excellent It's a deeply impressive things if you have got it and you've enjoyed it Please tell them online because not enough people tell how amazing their work is so it's all there go if you want We're on Facebook. We're still unfortunately on Twitter. I don't know if we're gonna do master don Oh, there's that there's a whole book.
Yeah, fuck it But we're on there at the cheap show park at Paul Ganon show and Eli is Eli Snoyd's well ELI SNO ID Yeah, just wanted to say yeah, also Tony is our resident artist one of them Yeah, I'm actually gonna start modeling. This is like life affecting our vice versa Paul I'm gonna get a haircut Yeah, because Tony's been drawing you in a certain way with not as my hair is it's very long at the moment Yeah, I have it in the ponytail Tony's betraying me with a sort of Bob Yeah, Bob thing and I'm actually gonna take a photo and I'm gonna show it to the barber and say cut my hair like Tony's pictures Oh, yeah, well that thing So if you want to see us live we're giving you another opportunity in February next year because we're gonna be part of the Lester comedy festival at the Firebug bar there's links on our website to tickets all over social media It's only 80 seats I think 80 to 100 and we're fast selling out So if you want to get them the only five quid you can see us it less the comedy festival next February one night only It'll be fun. We don't know what we're doing, but we will have guests and locks. I might have had my hair cut by them Hopefully right good.
That's the end of this week's podcast say goodbye. I'll say so about my mouth Oh, go on poem about my mouth when I saw my age 47 right go on my mouth smells of shit So my tea for all crumbly I've got a bum and a really really to add a hair comes out Oh, my pulse is filled cupboard at the night mouse and the lady You see this is the interesting thing about you you just literally drone on until something snaps you The lady cupboard comes and it opens the door oh squeaky with a noise and the smells on the floor and then I look at the car still going on My name is Eli I can't get hard. Oh, my teeth look like a Victorian graveyard