EP 31 - Aubrey Marcus & Kyle Kingsbury

What does it take to build a loving, successful relationship? Why does that seem all the more difficult now, in this day and age?Oh, and how do you build that with THREE people in the relationship – and we don’t mean you and a child.In this episode of Living 4D, Paul explores the nature of healthy relationships – and open relationships – with a pair of fellow travelers in Aubrey Marcus, founder and CEO of Onnit, and Kyle Kingsbury, former UFC fighter and Onnit’s Director of Human Optimization.Show NotesPaul’s simple advice about polyamorous relationships: Until you learn to ride one horse very well, it’s dangerous to ride two at a time. (2:18)The first challenge with these relationships: Can you be honest? (6:31)“I needed to feel like I was the most physically dominant to be loved.” (18:49)Diseases between partners in relationships are ones stemming from repression and people wanting to be the center of attention. (26:08)Being polyamorous and wanting novelty isn’t just “a male thing.” (32:34)Psychedelics and plant medicines can help people unpack cultural programming. (38:43)“Love isn’t meant to be possessed. Love is meant to be wild to a certain degree.” (41:20)Plant medicines merely show you a path. You must still do the work to make change happen. (48:13)Making a compromise can be an act of love when it’s acknowledged by your partner. (54:52)How Kyle’s Prius is like the Batmobile… (1:02:54)Open relationships quickly expose our weaknesses and traumas that require fixing. (1:07:24)Paul has felt fears of “burning in hell” and being judged by God during a sexual experience. (1:15:55)A rare moment when the tables are turned and Paul became the student. (1:18:53)Open relationships require trust in your partner and yourself. (1:25:00)The financial sacrifices Paul made to keep the CHEK Institute alive. (1:30:22)The concept of compersion. (1:35:51)Seinfeld’s airing of grievances works in the real world. (1:43:10)Bringing someone new into an open relationship, especially one kids, is much like building a supportive tribe. (1:49:27)Listen to Kyle’s Human Optimization Hour and the Aubrey Marcus podcast on iTunes, Spotify, Stitcher and Google Play.ResourcesSex at Dawn: How We Mate, Why We Stray and What it Means For Modern Relationships by Christopher Ryan and Cacilda JethaNonviolent Communication: The Basics As I Know and Use Them by Wayland MyersUntrue: Why Nearly Everything We Believe About Women, Lust and Infidelity is Wrong and How The New Science Can Set Us Free by Wednesday MartinAwareness: The Perils and Opportunities of Reality by Anthony De Mello and J. Francis StroudThe 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts by Gary Thanks to our awesome sponsors:PaleovalleyBIOptimizers US and BIOptimizers UK PAUL15Organifi CHEK20Wild PasturesPique LifeCHEK InstituteWe may earn commissions from qualifying purchases using affiliate links.