Ep. 315: Is Asexuality an Orientation or a Symptom?

What happens when attraction never shows up? Why does this label matter? Tony Bogaert, PhD, is the professor of health sciences at Brock University in Ontario, Canada where he has taught & conducted research for the last 30 years, primarily in the area of human sexuality. He’s also the author of Understanding Asexuality. In this episode, you’ll learn the difference between asexuality & sexual aversion disorder, celibacy & autism as well as how someone might be asexual, but also be married with children. We talk about asexual pop culture icons, historical figures & evolution. If you like this episode, you’ll also like episode 121: PROFESSIONAL CUDDLER? HUGGING, HORMONES & BODY AUTONOMY Guest:https://a.co/d/9NC71X3 [email protected]  Host:  https://www.meredithforreal.com/  https://www.instagram.com/meredithforreal/ [email protected]://www.youtube.com/meredithforreal  https://www.facebook.com/meredithforrealthecuriousintrovert  Sponsors: https://www.jordanharbinger.com/starterpacks/ https://www.historicpensacola.org/about-us/  00:00 — What if your “thing” is no thing?01:00 — Game show kickoff: “What’s the Difference?”01:30 — Asexuality vs. celibacy02:00 — Midlife disinterest or lifelong orientation?02:30 — Hyposexual desire disorder explained04:00 — Asexuality vs. sexual aversion05:00 — Asexuality and autism spectrum overlap06:00 — Sheldon Cooper: autism or asexual icon?07:00 — What causes lack of sexual attraction?08:30 — Personal motivation behind his research09:00 — How a survey question sparked 30 years of study11:00 — Why sexuality takes up so much mental space12:00 — Why labels drive us crazy—and why we need them15:00 — “Gray” and “demi”—the asexual spectrum16:00 — Are we overlabeling, or just being human?17:00 — Why demisexuality finally clicked for Meredith20:00 — Love route vs. lust route: two paths to attraction21:00 — Romantic but not sexual—how that works24:00 — The sexual recession vs. true asexuality25:00 — What’s really behind declining sex rates26:00 — How researchers untangle the gray areas27:00 — Can people “overclaim” the asexual label?28:00 — Why some asexuals still masturbate29:00 — “Cleaning out the plumbing” — other reasons for solo sex30:00 — Historical roots: early accounts of asexuality32:00 — Sherlock Holmes and the “asexual aura”33:00 — Virgin Mary as cultural symbol of purity34:00 — Eunuchs, testosterone, and the myth of distraction35:00 — Do asexuals have a focus advantage?36:00 — Evolutionary puzzles: how does asexuality persist?40:00 — Is sex really necessary for health?41:00 — Connection without sex: what it looks like42:00 — The flowchart of asexuality—how to self-reflect45:00 — His book Understanding Asexuality and what’s next46:00 — Sex makes us do crazy things—his next book topicRequest to join my private Facebook Group, MFR Curious Insiders: https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1BAt3bpwJC/Follow me in all the places:https://www.meredithforreal.com/  https://www.instagram.com/the_curiousintrovert/ [email protected]://www.youtube.com/meredithforreal https://www.facebook.com/curiousintrovert