Right, we've got to go. It's cold open, is it? This is the cold open, is it? This is time for the cold open again, is it?
This is my favourite part of every episode. I look forward with stiffening anticipation to the cold open. Ooh, what will pull do? What will pull come up with?
What will that brain of his come up with? Fizzy, fizzy, all in your brainstem. Ooh, what will be produced? What egg of delight will be produced by the brainstem?
Come on, I'm waiting. I'm Captain Bonkers! LAUGHTER How about that? Captain Bonkers, it is a windy-bong-bong machine.
Is that what you want? It's not what I want. Bandsons straight out the gates. Come on, Bandsonsons.
I'll be Captain Bonkers. No, no, no, no, no, no. I can't control it. I've got crazy bargains, Eli.
He's got .... 2.99. Oh, you know what? He's headphones.
It's only 4.99. I'm Captain Bonkers and my prices are criminal. Are you selling those? No, no, no, no.
Are you selling those? Headphones to me. I'm on phone! I'm on phone!
I'm on phone! I can't believe they ate lock me up for big and narrow! LAUGHTER I'm on that phone, though. I'd actually want to buy some things off Captain Bonkers if he's actually good.
Oh, what do you want? Let's do some egg with that phone for 6p please. I'll actually give a 6p. I don't have it on me.
Well, you've got that on me phone. Alright, here's an update. Yeah. Everyone mocked me on the Christmas party because I bought three of the same figurine.
Yeah. If you remember the rabbit figurine. Yes. What do I have in my hand here?
Another one. Which one would be really cool? The options are... We've got the accordion.
None of them are going to be cool because they're all portal animals holding folky type instruments. Which would be the coolest. Okay. Go on.
Give me a bunch of options and I'll tell you what's the fucking coolest. Why we had three of last time was the accordion period. Yeah. Which is the least.
The accordion is the old squeeze box. I like the sound of the accordion. Because I'm captain. My cock.
Tenor. My cock. Twenty quits going up. It more ways than one.
Paul, I think it was... No. You can't look at your sad portal in rabbit and then give up. People need to hear about this.
Come on. They're like cold open. Should be short. Drum playing rabbit.
Castonets. Sassy. With a hand on a hip rabbit. Yeah.
Sassy rabbit. Guitar playing. Joan Byett sort of looking rabbit. Yeah.
That's your three options. Castonets. Drum. Or guitar.
Or loot. Whatever it is. Okay. And I'm just a...
There's a fucking response. So just sort of a contrary bastard. No. Castonets.
I hate you. And you're fucking noodle posse. Noodles. It's a cheap show you're going to have to learn the fucking exact.
Chee show. Chee show. It's the price of shine. Be like self-humbah.
This cheap show. And a girl and a nuzzle. Hello. Welcome to Cheap Show.
The Economy Company podcast where Eli and I go for the bargain bins and the charity shops and power lands of Great Britain. And we bring you the treasure. We find amongst that trash and wow. How boy howdy have we got some hot treasure for you today.
Paul, I still haven't revealed a rabbit to you. You're hoping for the Castonets. Oh yeah. We don't know what's in there.
Exactly. He just doesn't hit market on the outside and tell you what it is on the inside. Isn't there like a clue? It's like a blind bag.
It's just... Right. Well then. You don't know what it is.
I was hoping for Castonets. Yes. Paul, you've come here today. You've added three options.
And you've said to us... You're a little animal that makes 1970s human drama films. You've said John Castonets. John Castonets.
John Castonets. Tis. I'm trying to be clever then. Wow.
I fell out of my remit zone. Didn't I fell out of my comfort zone. I fell out of my fallen out of my remit zone. Are you ready for the big reveal of the rabbit?
Pull out your big rabbit. Yes. Do you want to see my rabbit girl? Oh, it's a little loot or something, isn't it?
It's not a guitar. It's a rabbit. You know what I'm getting? What would be the coolest one?
This is at the other end of that spectrum. This is the most cool. The drum would be cooler than that. Cool course.
Everyone loves the drummer. Everyone loves the guitarist. No, but that's not a guitarist. It's a loot box.
I think she's doing a protest song. Don't kill the rabbit. Mix me a toner. Yeah, yeah.
In times of hard. Just Real Backyard. Oh, that nibble is on a carrot. Yeah, it brings me down.
But that is much as the man. And the sheets look like little reasons in the hay. Oh, the foxes, they come and they eat my... Yeah, no, we are.
Oh, we need to start again for sure. Are we passing the fucking credits now? This is... I'm having a panic attack on the concert.
I'll be careful because they are fragile. So make sure that nothing untoward happens to little Bob Dylan rabbit. Paid money for Bob Dylanetta. How much did you pay for Bob Dylanetta?
I don't know because it was a job lot. Bob Nibbles. It's a little Bob Nibbles. It's actually chips.
Did you feel it on the top of the head? Yeah, it's a chip there. It was an imperfection. No, it is a chip.
It is a chip. Well, there we go. The latest update there with Eli's portal in rabbit collection. Marking him out in the local community as someone to look out for and be worried about.
It's not chips. They look nice and amazing. And I've done wee wee wee at the same hole. Do you rather see that?
I have no fucking clue what rabbit does. Oh, it's coming through the hay. You should really start again. It's really been bad.
I don't know. Oh, yeah. I'm from a cold. Oh, you don't bother.
You don't bother. You've got the sniffing... I've got the sniffing roof. I've got the sniffing roof.
It's a bit of a cough pool. Oh, well, apologies to the listeners this week if I sound a bit bunged up as usual. As ever, I think you've been like this the last eight years. I think now.
I'm actually sick this week though. You're always sick again. I'm actually sick this week though. Oh, yeah.
Yeah. First time I was in the dance floor. Oh, you've got one. Yes.
Alright, ladies and gentlemen, it's been a bit of while I was into being back there. But Eli, take you away to a segment that I call repetitive and dull. No, no, no, no, no, but that's where you're wrong. See this time.
Am I wrong this time? That's where you're wrong. Prove me wrong, do you like? Yes.
Sometimes have that man on the front of the table with his arms crossed, and it's like, tell him the shot floor is shit. Prove me wrong. Okay, I will. I will.
I will. I will. I mean, you're that meme now. Yeah.
Okay. Me, myself and I, I will prove to you. Yes, I admit, in the past, they're part of the show called Tells from the Dance floor where I relate amusing and poignant moments from my life. Has a cover detective.
Has certain tropes because of the situation, Paul, that this breaks the boundaries. Yeah, but your story's now like the Marvel Cinematic Universe, you know what you get and people go, oh, that was nice. But if this thing's shit, no, this one, this is going to shock and amaze you. I am ready to be shocked and or amazed.
So please, he like, take it away. Recently, can I just say before I go straight into it? Oh, I go in recently, but I don't. I saw the president of the United States, Joe Biden, drive past me.
That's not some girl asking for the Aberemnee telling her to fuck off, is it? It's completely different structurally from that. Yeah, but that's accepted that proves the rule, isn't it? Some girl asked for Aberemne, I told her to fuck off.
No, only Joe get to see you and ready to accept that. No, I wasn't ready to accept that because the way you tossed that line of proof to me that it was a... She asked for Asa base, I told her to fuck off. Asa base depends on the track, was it the sign?
Or she's having a baby or whatever it's done? That's the only song I ever did. I saw the sign, I didn't open up my eyes, I saw the sign. I was in gorge and you were...
I'm winking at my arse, I didn't know. That was different, wasn't it from having it? Oh, that's what she wants. She wants it, it's another baby, it's found, he's blown up, it's all that she wants.
So I'm DJing, right? Hey, Paul, wake up, he's got a covered tone. He's got an eyes open, tongue out, combatose. He's going to dribble.
Anyway, I was in. No, don't, you are. You're the big foot, you can go. Oh, big foot, is that what they call it?
Don't you have a big foot here? Right, we've got to get in the same as that. That ecological niche in our character, Sferia, space, Paul. It's filled.
Big daddy big foot, Sferia. Hmmm. Hmmm. Say hello to big daddy big foot.
Say hello to big foot. He doesn't talk English. He does, go on, say hello. I will not.
I'll just say hello to him. There's a very... There's a wet dog out there. He's got a mature big foot.
He's got fucking wagging up, so I can see from here. Big daddy big foot, come on, say hello to him. Say hello. Ask him a question.
How do you get such a tawny, shiny hair on your back? Hmmm. Right. So she comes out to me.
She asks for it. I think daddy big foot. Daddy big foot. He stinks.
He smells of a mixture of cam and bear and dog. Yeah, I like it. The loom of his hair had whipped and... Come on, mate, just tell your story.
You should be telling your story. It's break time. It's break time. Is it?
Alright, bye then. When I'm DJing, I've done the first set. It's break time. Just two clarify people who may not know these stories.
But when he like DJs, DJ's, when he likes DJs, there are breaks in between his sets. So the band can perform live and he fills and he keeps the party atmosphere going until the band's ready to come on for their next segment. Isn't that right? That's right.
And go. So I'm at the back having a smoke when at the fire doors, as I usually do by the bins, okay? Yeah. And some guy, you know, you sometimes get people who just sort of, they get a kick out of walking down the street and sort of shouting to sort of intimidate people.
Like they're going to, you know, you're going to go for you but they're just kicking off. But they're just sort of kicking off. No one's like that. I don't like it.
So he's like that. If you sort of meet us down from the fire gate, there's one of those big, massive industrial wheelie bins in between me and the actual open door of the fire skake. Yeah. If that door shuts, Paul, you're locked out.
I'm locked out right round the front, all the way through the crowd again. With the pears. Excuse me. Mind up.
And you know, that can be a proper nightmare. Oh no, one of the reasons why I don't hang out with you anymore when you DJ. It's going through the crowd is a real pain. Yeah.
Fuck yourself. That was a good story. Anyway, that's about it. Okay.
So you went outside. You're on the street. There's a man. It's bellowing and shouting.
He's coming down like this. Was he a big daddy Bigfoot? But he's actually got a goal. I don't think there's any room for another cryptid in this podcast for I think people will have something to say people at large Well, he's not gonna be a perfect character He's just passing through he's off to see how he and the endersons and hang out with them for the weekend They're not together anymore.
There they are. You don't be what the sitcom tells you that's just based on their life John Lithgow's dead. He's not dead. John Lithgow is dead.
John Lithgow is not dead. Okay, Google is John Lithgow dead Here's information from Wikipedia. He's still alive. What he's still alive.
I'm thinking someone else. Yeah someone who's dead It's not John Lithgow John Lithgow was born in 1945 and continues to exist. Let me see Why am I gonna lie to you dead? He's not dead.
It's the fucking Matrix. Please tell your story Fucking pissed off of this In this place it's taken you to get a story out. We've created a shit new cryptid. I'm debating about the existence of John Lithgow I was sure that he passed anyway.
No, I think it's good. I like John Lithgow. I'm glad he's alive. I make that clear.
Yes That's really put me off man in street. Shout out to you. Okay, so he's coming down by the bin. He's coming down.
He's coming down. He's coming down He's coming down and I'm like, oh, you know, and he sort of go keep going up Going up with things and he's rotating On the street. Yeah, and he sees the open door. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah of the fire escape and he was like Oh, yeah, he's a bit like fucking caving man or something.
Yeah, and he fucking closes the door and I'm like, oh I went like this. Come on man like that. Yeah, you know, a bit exasperated. Yeah, like come on.
You've made my day Yeah, yeah, I didn't shout it I was just like come on. Yeah, cuz I was trying to sort of get there in time. Yeah to stop him from doing it Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, come on man. You don't want to go all the way because you make it your fingers trunks Just don't know fucking then I sort of turn around to go back around the front cuz I'm gonna have to do that anyway Yeah, he's still behind me then I hear him go you fucking rats tonight that Yeah, he's coming for you coming down the road Yeah, and he's like you fucking rats cuz he didn't like it that you would this I was sort of a bit non-plus You know how to show you put out by closing my bloody door.
Yeah, yeah Yeah, and then I've got to them. There's another fire escape a bit down right the tensions boring me Make sure I'm like come on because I don't know the code for that and there's some bar stuff there He wasn't gonna be violent. You don't know that we don't know that tells me that dance floor It's good though. It's thrilling.
I was for a moment there on the edge of my seat I've got to tell you on the ground. Oh, yes. I'm on the train coming in today, and I'm sitting there This is a bit of a reversal everyone. I know usually happens people either shit or fart very audibly and smelly well There's a little bit of a little bit of column a little bit of con billion this story columbie columbie columbie Columbie columbie columbie columbie so I'm sitting there and like it's not a particularly busy train on the way in on the Metline and I'm sitting there I got my coffee having a stop and this guy sits down right next to me and I'm fine.
He seems alright So you're saying this person could have selected a seat opposite me that was free didn't have to sit over there What exactly is my heckles up? I'm like what on earth? Why would you and I never do that if there's it's an unwritten rule of Public transport in this city is what you know if they do it. No, just don't do it.
It's like imagine you're on the bus Yeah, at the front and it was like almost empty and so I came up next to you So I sat down you know you had a lot of laptop and a business thing and blah blah blah anyway You get to have his bag electric razor and then start to fucking people and he's not spraying his hair that comes off him onto me Well, my life goes on my coffee I hate these people and I do the whole kind of me Yeah, he's like and carries on as if like I've put him up because he has to have a shave right now But he's going to a business meeting or a meat or a job and I it's making my place boil so he's It's like I can feel it. It's spraying those tiny microbes of hair It should not be allowed and I didn't want to cause a scene because you know I can get quite angry I carried away, so I just kind of like put my hand over my coffee and turn lens away Anyway, I got off at Kings Cross as I want to do and he was still on there so I left him a present I have a bad gut so morning, so I squeezed out the bad guts for eight years verbally hot bubbly fart I do you know it was gonna be bad? Yeah, I was kind of holding on to it because I didn't want to be disrespect with the rest of the train Yeah, of course, but I thought I'd let one off yeah, and so I've squirted out a proper burglar Right it was a proper kind of fabric rippler yeah over far and knew he felt every pump he felt every single bubble that came out of My arse and when I rose so did the stench and made it was a foggy beefy one and I walked out and he looked at me with Scott To other people's existence Technology I think it's got worse that because people are so in their bubble with their device and they actually sort of forget their proximity to humans Yeah, I don't want to come across all sort of conservative and reactionary, but it's terrible I just think if oh, you know what? This round before I've had this round before I can't do it anymore I saw was on the bus the other day.
Yeah, someone was on their phone right which is you know Yeah, you kind of put up with it yeah sounding on you see people watching a video of a cocker all Every few minutes not with just make the noise and you go Well, I guess we're just unchickin in a yard somewhere And then it just made that Fair play people just want to watch just some livestock. I had someone watching porn on a bus a few weeks ago It's the same thing it's that sort of disconnect between understanding that you never watch porn on a train It wouldn't even come into my mind to get what you're gonna do What's the point of an erection on this when you're off and away from home? Some people think some people get so into porn that they don't only use it as an masturbation and they get into it they actually enjoy watching it to watch them now no We've never watched porn together. I would never want to watch porn with you.
I'll let you pick you watch the dog videos You like Well done Paul Crofts just not me I think every listener who's listening now would be in agreements. Yeah, it's not me Electric That's the best I said last you come on my face. Yeah, boy. Oh, what about all the dogs your fancy Benji?
Toto. Toto. Yeah, put it totally into my record I bet you fucking love bouncer what's bouncer the dog from neighbors the big the big dog from neighbors big And we started the podcast yeah, I'm starting this is now starting that was the top Bouncy coming up on the show then Paul crisps and music Music Right, let's get straight into it this week we were sent something in the post by Tom from channel 84 A friend of the show helped us out many a time where my Technical equipment has exploded recently fixed our main recorder. Oh, we recorded our own order.
Thank you very much No, it's not that we've got field recorders. Yeah, but you know, it's our main boy. It's our big boy Our big six that we've had for about five years now, and he is fixed and we love him. Don't we love you 86?
I love him so much. I've actually I thought you're zoom it electric you did my knob We should stop we should have a little brother. Yeah, no, not forever. We have a couple of months off Oh God, oh Thank you Tom you help though.
Yes, I don't spanking stuff. Okay, he sent us something he got online and it's called Spoodles I was gonna go spudos. No, it's about SPU d o s or so could be spudos. What do you think?
loading spud Des spudos spudos spudos sportos spudos spudos spudos spudos such a way too well DODO Hi the lives coming and I bring you aentity on this guy is really must have done that guy before there's no way we have a Comment out my hard to getTR we do It's a subscription service. Don't look at the quotes in this photo, where you can get a big box of crisp scents here. Spudot is a subscription service. You can buy a big box of very plain crisps, and then you get sent an assortment of what they call Spudot.
Can I just say? Spudot. That's what I call my... Spudot.
Spudot. Spudot. Spudot. Spudot.
Spudot. Spudot. Smells of Fred West. Oh.
I've got a... Fred West. Sometimes it does right, but it doesn't mean you should really try it. No.
So, the idea is yes. I'll tell you what it says on website. Remember old school salt and shake, it says, well, meat, spudos or spudos. We're the salt and shake on steroids.
Unpackaged, unseasoned crisps that you can season yourself with our five amazing, spud-dust flavours. Only five. So, how's it subscription? They're five new flavours every month?
This is never going to last. I don't know. It's also vegan. So, that thing, what was the check they made?
Already? Well, it wasn't a joke. No, they said, you remember salt and shake. Yeah.
They said, they made steroids. On crack. We're crisps. Oh, that's it.
Oh. I'm crisps on meth. I'm crisp. I'm crisp.
I'm vodka. I'm crisp. You're crisp on meth, and then you've regret. You meant to start with.
Oh, crisp on, too. I'm crisp on it. On half of Benson and Hedges. I'm crisp on a parasettimal.
I'm going to just politely ask you to be quiet while we just get through more with this set up in Admin part of the show. I'm crisp on snake venom. So, you order a big box of crisps, and it's pretty big. Keep fresh for 16 weeks in a handy dandy tub.
They're words. Not mine. Look, it's a great big plastic white box. It looks like an ice cream tub, almost, or a Lego tub.
Yes. And it's sealed and it has a logo of a superman spud on. You can get a bundle, so for 30 quid, which is quite expensive. which is quite expensive.
If you ask me, you get a tub and then a load of seasons to shake in. Explain the subscription part of this, Paul. I think it's less a subscription more like you. I mean, there is a subscription page where you can get dust a month where the monthly they send you dusting.
It does, but of different flavors that you don't expect. Or you get a whole package monthly. So you can get crisps or different types of shapes. I just don't understand how it can sustain itself as a business.
They don't do that in these subscription boxes. Although it does say that, you know, they have a page about sustainability. So we've taken every step we can to make them as sustainable as possible. Our crisps are grown and produced in the UK.
On a sustainable farm, that runs on solar power, converts the used sunflower oil into bio-diesels for the tractors. Oh. And then they talk about their HQ and how it's all great. Clothes, loop, delivery, and the avoid single-use plastics.
So all very well and good. That's all very well and good, Paul. We did have a similar product like you say, but that was, it came in a bag. Yes.
With several different, we're playing crisps with several different shaky bags. Shaking, spud dust essentially. The case goes with plastic, sorry, plastic paper bags. That you can shake it.
You put your crisps in. There you go. I like that element. Yeah.
That's going to buy these separately. Like, so you get more plastic tea for some load of these. So this is hardly cheap. I think the one that we had before was off the shelf.
You just got it in B&M or something, you know? Yeah. This is obviously gets sent to you. And we've heard the flavour packs.
Tom's set as a big load of flavour packs. So I'm guessing even though there's like, what, 30 in here, there's probably just like five flavours on, and there's many sashes of them. See what you got there, Paul. What flavour is you got there?
Oh, there's dustins already coming out. So we've got prawn cocktail. Spicy, as this just says, not spice. Which I don't believe, I remember her as part of the group.
Salt and vinegar. That's a chilly one, eh? Oh, salt and vinegar, looks just white. For some reason, this just says David Bacon.
I don't know if David Bacon's a person, or it's a type of bacon. I don't know what they've got cheesy names for all of this. It's probably just a pain. OK, that's prawn cocktail.
I've got chip shop curry. Ooh. Oh, here's one. Nuchen onion.
What does nuchen onion mean? Unless you're Kevin Smith. Salt and vinegar. So these are the flavours then, yeah.
Nuchen onion. Are they just trying to avoid copyright with other people's flavours here? It doesn't have to be right. Cheese and onions.
You can't copy like that. What could be like that? And so does Gold Wonder and so does whatever. It's like the old...
I mean, the only thing with nuchen reference I know is the word Jason and the you said in the clerks films. Nuchen is some kind of sign name for an onion. I don't know. What's the point of calling it David Bacon?
I'm just looking at the flavours. Now, you can get big tubs of this as well. These are little tiny sashos, but you get big tubs. So chip shop prawn cocktail David Bacon, I don't know where they've got that name from.
Nuchen onion. I don't understand what the name Nuchen onion means. Just look at Nuchen. Oh, definition.
The website explainer. Oh, good. What the heck is Nuchen you may be asking? We are.
We are. This is if you aren't a vegan foodie or both. It's what the cool kids call nutritional yeast. Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. She had the case of Mrs. Vicki's Chris, but now she's got Nuchen onion.
It's a very, very, very, very fine powder. Nuchen has a nutty cheesy flavour, but it's jam-packed with nutrients and we love it as much so we decide to call off flavour that. It's not vegan though, is it? No, it is.
That's the point. Instead of this cheese powder, they're using a... What, here you go. I have to stop you there.
Here we go. Go on. Yeast. Yeast is in the animal kingdom.
Yeast are small animals. No, they're fungal, aren't they? Yes. I'm almost fucking screwed.
I think we've said on the podcast. I'm sorry. I mean, that's a note to that. No, but, yeah, sorry everyone.
I had a little bit of money. Onion powder, sugar, paprika extract, maltodextrin, salt, natural flavour. I need to know why it's called David Bacon now. That's my other question.
Oh, that other one. The spice one. The noxious spice. It's caged and flavour department.
Yeah, nice. So, David Bacon. This isn't just any old bacon flavour. This is David Bacon.
First, you taste that sweet, sweet, meatiness you love and then that late tang of brown sauce kicks in at the end making your taste buds explode with pleasure. The brown sauce in it as well. This stuff is 100% plant-based. Portage is!
I do. Yeah, how about that? I do believe it. And then Chip's got Cori's self-explanatory.
So these are all, I guess, vegan as well, just to make some extent, right? Yeah. Totally fine. I am quite curious to see the actual quality of the crisp cells.
Are they kettley or are they more like a wall? They're very kettley. They are. The lid is very sealed on.
So even though it's been removed a few times to try it out, it's hard to get it off. I got it. Oh, I got it sealed in. And these are completely plain.
They're very sturdy. Do you want to get a quick test of the plain? No, no, no, yeah. Yeah, very good.
Very crunchy. Now, for my mastication moment. Nice fresh potato wheat flavour coming through. Very crunchy.
Looks absolutely fine. It's really good. Because isn't it a little weaker at least at this point. So very fresh and fresh as it's sealed, isn't it?
Yeah. That helps. So should we try all of these flavours out? Yeah, but we're going to have to do several bags, aren't we?
We're going to have to get a factory line going. Here. We can also pause and then come back to them so we can do that. Hang on, how many bags have we got?
One. Two. Three, four, five. We have six flavours.
That'll tell you down there. We'll just fall out if we use that bag. No, we don't need to do some vinegar. Come on, mate, do we?
No, I'll just do a little dip, a finger dip on that. So we can do a finger dip on that, but it's just... I imagine. So vinegar.
So I'm not all that bothered. But the other flavours are worth investigation. Especially the textured soy protein. So what is it?
The Nuc. What is it? The lab-ground yeast. The lab-grown fanny batter.
Yeah, that's what it is. Spordo, so I tell you what, we're going to put a few crisps in each bag and a flavour to each bag, shake them up, and then we'll come back to you... Licaty split. Licaty split.
Dum, dum, dum, licaty split. Licaty split. Licaty split. Licaty split.
Licaty split. Licaty split. Licaty split. Licaty split.
My split. Nochspice. Oh, I just fucking guessed it. And we're back from shaking things up somewhat.
We have five bags. We've decided not to do the salt vinegar because it's salt vinegar. We are going to have a finger dip taste of the salt vinegar packet. Yeah, we will do some dued diligence on that front.
We only had five structurally secure bags with which to shake the dust on. And I've been shaking dust. This is what it's called. And whilst I'm talking, you just...
Oh, no. I'm leaving. I can't taste crisp with your guff in the air. I have slightly spilt the scientific experience.
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. But now you know how that man felt on the train ice. Next to you open the window.
I can't wait to do it by accident. Oh, that's really nappy. Oh, that's like a fucking horrible overgrown man-child's nappy. Revenge is a dish...
Revenge is a dish best served proud. Gaseous would have worked there better than Brown, I think, because Farts have no colour. That one does. If you imagine you guff and it actually had it sort of like a colour.
Like a mist of colour. You're like peeping swimming pools. Hello NHS Direct. Yeah.
We put the mist, the spud dust in the bags. Right. I've shaken these like a true gent. Now, new gennonian first.
New gennonian. So this is their cheese and onion, obviously. But they're cheese and onion substitutes. But I think that cheese and onion are the ones that aren't veggie.
Like Walker's cheese and onion. Thank you. They use animal fat. Walkers cheese and onion.
Is it suitable for vegans at this moment? I don't know. I don't think so. The thing was, in the olden days, in the never, never times, in the olden days, in the before times, like all of the crisp flavours were vegetarian, like beef, smoky bacon, except for cheese and onion.
That was the ironic thing. That was the cat. That was the trap. Yeah.
We were going to go into the hooch and onion. I've just gone in for a nip on that and I'm just getting your legs and guff. I'd have a snuff. I actually can't smell much in there, to be honest.
I thought it was just my block nose, but I'm not getting a lot of it. No, it's not. I hope you put it a slip. Well, I'm going to try one crisp.
Try the good china onion. Mastication time. That's very nice. That was absolutely fine.
That tasted of a nice sweet cheese and onion crisp. Calisimas are the square crisps. Really? Yeah, exactly what I was going to say.
It's sweeter and sort of less intense, but that might be to do with the ratio. Because you're doing your own ratio and I guess it's a... Yeah, that's true. And one crisp might have more than another crisp that you put in just a second.
Exactly. The dusting isn't evenly done in a actual setting. I guess with this, it's an opportunity for a real crisp aficionado, crisp lover. Do a crisp aficionado.
To really get down into the mix. Put your hands there. Do you want to get a ratio? Actually learn the ratio of powder to chip that you want.
I just did this by eye. A row of bowls with chips crisps in. And you can sprinkle a little bit more on the other. And then you can go, oh, I want to do some experiments at home.
Yes. And someone could get really into it and could actually do a sort of way. How much powder they need per crisp weight ratios. And all the chips bag.
It's a veritable crisp sensation. Well, what's this next one? Well, what's this next one? The second bag, which is chip chock curry.
Now, this should be all right. Give it a snuff. Can you get anything? I'm getting a snuff off this one.
Has the jostulation helped? The jostulation has helped. Maybe I snuffed the dust too. You can snuff the dust too.
It's giving it extra jostulation. Well, it has a far more impressive sense than the last bag. But that had a great flavor profile. So who's the judge?
It was a nice flavor profile. Exactly an agreement with you. The Nutran onion had a sweetness. Yeah.
And it was a cyclone. It had onion. Yeah. I see what I'm saying.